


Language of Love: Part 4 (Season 5)

by PandorasDaydream



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: #TCP, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Farmer Dick, Farmer Dick Conversations, M/M, MVP Dick Conversations, Mental Health Awareness, Patrick's Cousins, Patrick's Friends from High School, PreP Awareness, Terri/Amy the Goat Farmers, Toby the mother-fucking-umpire, gay relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:34:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 379,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22219387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandorasDaydream/pseuds/PandorasDaydream
Summary: This series (Part 4) starts before 5.01 and will meander through season 5.++++Chapter 1 starts not long after the ending of LOL: Part 3 Chapter 8.David and Patrick spend time together, working together, and navigating their relationship.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 1116
Kudos: 638





	1. Believe

**Author's Note:**

> Preparing to write Season 5, one of the larger challenges I faced was making my timeline meet that of the creators of the show. When SC seems to cover a long period of time, it is located somewhere we all know is north, yet they live in perpetual summer weather (with the lone exception being 4.13), I struggled with how to make anything fit reality. 
> 
> Are they in winter when this chapter starts? Yes. Will 5.01 find them climbing through trees and David in shorts? Yes. So... reality has to be suspended at some point. (But if we all can be OK with David dancing for Patrick in a leather, silk-lined top in the dead of summer....) 
> 
> I thank you for having a bit of grace with me and letting me take you where I plan to take you.
> 
> It should come as no surprise to my regular readers that I will be writing Season 5 (LOL: Part 4) in my own way:  
> \- With us starting before 5.01 and taking my time to get there. *Winking face emoji*  
> \- With the weather being appropriate for the scenes as I see fit. *Person shrugging emoji*  
> \- With characters from the show (of course) and original characters that I have created. *Goat emoji*
> 
> Read what you want. Skip what you don't.
> 
> Ultimately... I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> +++
> 
> Sometimes the hardest thing to do is start. And tonight, as I start, I just want to say thank you to my dear DP. She knows why. *Face with three hearts emoji*
> 
> ++++++++

++++++

They were in early. It was snowing like crazy outside, for the third day in a row. Few people came into the Apothecary during the day and nobody in the last hour. They closed early and went to Patrick’s.

It was the middle of the week, but David had been constantly cold and declared he was not staying in “That freezer of a motel room” with “Nobody” to keep him warm. So, he texted Alexis and the siblings had decided that for the time being they would forgo their pact of only staying with their boyfriends on the weekend. Their parents would be fine without them, and the siblings would keep up with one another via text and phone calls for the time being.

Patrick opened the door and David immediately dashed past him and headed upstairs to take a hot shower. Meanwhile, Patrick warmed soup and made grilled cheese sandwiches, being sure to make enough so that Ray could enjoy some of the comfort food as well.

Patrick met him in the bedroom, David sitting in the bed wearing a cozy pair of sleep pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt. Blankets tucked around his legs. Patrick quickly disrobed and pulled on a pair of blue pajama pants and an old t-shirt.

They met in the bed where David held Patrick’s soup until he was settled in. They ate their dinner and watched television shows Patrick had saved on the DVR.

++++++

Patrick sat up against the pillows that provided some amount of cushion from the bars of the headboard. David lay curled on his side, his head resting half on Patrick’s lap, half on a pillow. The comforter pulled up under his chin.

As the documentary about the collapse of the Lehman Brothers ended and the credits rolled on the screen, a dark, depressing music played. David rolled onto his back and looked up at Patrick.

“Wow. That was…just… _so interesting_.” Patrick said. Earnestly.

“ _My god_.” David declared dramatically.

“What?”

“You couldn’t have… oh I don’t know...watched _that_ on any of the nights I don’t stay here?” David’s arms made a giant circle in the direction of the television.

“I thought you’d be interested in it.” Patrick finished his beer and moved to sit on the side of the bed.

“ _Why_ would you think that _I_ would be interested in _that_?” David’s hands flailed as he expressed himself.

“Well…because of… you know… what happened.” Patrick shrugged. He stumbled indelicately over his words.

“You don’t know me at all.” David mumbled as he got out of bed.

“We’re like two old men. It’s only 7:30 and we’re in our PJs watching a fucking documentary in bed.” He continued to mumble to himself on his way to the bathroom.

If he were being honest with himself, he loved all of it _but_ the documentary.

And if he were forced to be honest, the nap he had while resting on Patrick’s lap was probably worth it.

++++++

Settled back in the bed, David poked Patrick’s hip and demanded, “Pick something better this time. No documentaries, please.”

“Kennedy Center Honors?” Patrick asked with a smile.

“Who are they honoring?” David asked with skepticism.

“Several people…among them…Cher.” Patrick delighted in watching David’s face light up at the mention of one of his most cherished divas. “I knew you’d want to see it.”

They settled in to watch the show. Different people were brought on stage to pay tribute to the honorees of the night. During the tribute to the creators of Hamilton, David sat up and moved toward the end of the bed, lying on his stomach. Resting his face on his hands, elbows on the bed. He watched closely.

“I’d love to see that show someday.” Patrick said.

“It’s _really_ good.” David turned and looked at him over his shoulder.

“You’ve seen it?” Patrick was astonished. He smacked David on the leg. “How did that happen?”

“Um. It was 2015?” David answered as though he provided enough information and Patrick was ridiculous for asking.

“I don’t know what that means.” Patrick said, shaking his head.

“We didn’t live here yet. I…well…let’s just say that tickets to hit shows were not hard to come by.” David kicked his foot against Patrick, who grabbed it and squeezed it.

“Ahhhh. The good old days.” Patrick teased. He reached forward and poked David’s ass cheek with his finger.

They sat through tributes for others. A saxophone player. A jazz musician. A little red-headed country music star. David left the room for a snack and a soda. He returned and sat by Patrick’s side, leaning back against a pillow.

Then came the Cher tribute.

“This is a good version of this song.” Patrick said.

Neither spoke. The person on the television sang.

“I like it slowed down like this.” Patrick said.

“MmHmm.” David made a noise of … agreement.

They listened to the person singing the tribute. [A slowed down, dramatic version of “Believ](https://youtu.be/5PzQHZLiUPs)e.”

“I like him.” Patrick said. “Just…a _really_ good voice.”

David nodded his head.

“He’s…you know…he’s…” Patrick stopped talking. Stared at the television. Unconsciously, his tongue darted out and licked his bottom lip.

David didn’t move his body, but his eyes darted to take in Patrick’s body language. “He’s… _what_?”

“I don’t know. Never mind.” Patrick shook his head. Made a dismissive motion with his hand.

“He’s _what_ , Patrick?”

Patrick shrugged. He pulled his legs under himself and looked at David. “He’s… good looking. I don’t know. I just…Don’t you think he’s sexy?”

David’s lips began to move and he worked to suppress a smile.

“Is that funny to you? That I think he’s …?”

“Not at all.” David shook his head and interrupted Patrick.

“Do _you_ think he’s sexy?” Patrick asked.

David shrugged and tilted his head. “I mean…yeah?…there was a time I did…?”  
  
Patrick paused the DVR.

He turned and looked at David whose face was contorting into all kinds of concerning expressions.

“David.”

David looked everywhere in the room but at Patrick.

“David.”

“What.” David’s brown eyes flashed as they looked into Patrick’s.

“David, did you two…” Patrick’s hands did what they do when he wanted to avoid saying the word. The flat palm of his right hand smacked the end of the fist his left hand made.

David looked at Patrick. He said nothing. The skin around his left eye crinkled.

“David, did you _fuck_ him?” Patrick asked directly causing a startled look to cross David’s face.

David pulled his lips into his mouth and bit down. His brows furrowed. He brought his hand up to make a point. “Well…technically it was _he_ who…”

“ _OHH_ my god.” Patrick sat back against the head board.

For a moment they sat in the quiet. They stared at the television with his face frozen in the pause. The microphone poised in front of his open mouth.

“When?” Patrick asked him.

“I don’t think you really…want…to…” David hesitated.

“When?” Patrick asked again.

“Summer of 2009. The American Idol Tour.” David said quickly. Sheepishly.

“What?!” Patrick turned to look at David.

“Well!?” David said with great exaggeration in his voice and movements of his hands. “He was the… _runner up_? I spent that July….? Following… the tour.”

Patrick did the math in his head. “Don’t teenagers go to those concerts? Weren’t you in your late twenties?”

“I was a new 26, thankyouverymuch. He was my age…And … who says I went to the concerts?”

“I see.” Patrick nodded. He quietly turned and sat back. He turned the show back on. Rewound it to watch the song from the beginning. Mainly to annoy David. But also, it was a _really good rendition_ of the song. Patrick clearly liked the idea of taking a fast pop song and slowing it down to a different beat to give the words more meaning.

Without talking. Without turning to see him. Patrick reached over and felt for David’s hand.

David willingly offered it.

While watching the television and listening to the song, Patrick’s fingers played over David’s hand. Caressing his palm. Interlacing with his fingers. Wrapping around his thumb.

“What are you doing?” David asked him.

“Huh?” Patrick paused the DVR again. Looked at David. “I’m watching the show. I’m trying to listen to him sing.” 

“No.” David said, calling Patrick on his bullshit. “What are you doing with my hand? What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.” Patrick shook his head. Innocently blinked his big brown eyes.

“Are you upset?” David asked him.

“I’m not. David. I’m really not.”

“M’Kay.” David gestured to the remote. “Just… Press play. Let’s finish this.”

Patrick hit play and they continued to watch. He pulled his legs up under himself again. He shifted. Had trouble sitting still.

“Oh, _M’God_.” David declared with disgust in his voice. “You’re turned on!” David pulled back the covers and saw the evidence that Patrick’s body was responding to the man on the television.

“Kinda.” Patrick blushed. “So?”

“You’re thinking about what it’s like to have sex with him? _God!_ Patrick!” David thumped the back of his hand on Patrick’s chest.

“Not exactly, David. Just… give me a minute.” Patrick pressed his palm against his thin blue pajama bottoms that had given away all his thoughts.

“What do you mean by ‘Not exactly’ Patrick? Seriously. This is ...” David moved his hand in a circle over the general direction of Patrick’s dick, “…. inappropriate.”

Patrick turned and faced David. David noticed the blush on Patrick’s face had reached down his cheeks and to his neck.

David realized that Patrick was embarrassed, so he eased back on his response. He rolled his eyes and quietly said, “What?”

“I’m…it’s just…I was…I was thinking…about you and him...” Patrick said bashfully.

“And that gave you a _hard on_?” David asked. “It didn’t piss you off?” After Patrick’s responses to Sebastian and Jake, David thought Patrick’s only reaction to learning about his past partners was anger.

“No.” Patrick said quietly, with a scant shake of head. He rested his hand on David’s chest.

Patrick’s response surprised him. “Then… _what_?” David asked in a similar quiet voice. He shook his head as he tried to figure out what Patrick wanted. He was hesitant.

Patrick’s body was still with the exception of his hand. His finger’s danced over David’s chest. Patrick’s eyes followed his hands as they moved over David’s t-shirt covered chest. His finger toyed with one of David’s nipples. Patrick’s eyes slowly moved to look into David’s, intently. “He fucked you?”

David nodded once. “Yes,” he whispered.

Patrick’s breath caught in his throat. “How many times, David? Was it just a one-time thing…or…?”

“I mean…I didn’t count? It was over a few weeks. I followed him…the tour… and they had several shows a week. I always got a room near … the performers. I could afford to stay near them.” He wasn’t sure how much to tell Patrick, but figured if he was asking, he wanted to know. “He would…come to see me…he came to my room.”

Patrick’s eyes moved over David’s face. From his eyes, to his mouth, back to his eyes. “He stay the night?” Patrick asked.

“ _God_ no.” The distasteful thought showed on David’s face.

“He left when we were done. He was definitely not a cuddler.” David told him with a serious face, even though inside he was growing delighted at the line of questioning.

Then, David decided to throw Patrick a little bone. “ _Zero spooning_.” He was rewarded with instant eye contact from him.

Patrick hesitated before he formulated his next question. “What…ummm… what did…did you do together?”

“Patrick.” David wasn’t sure they should go there. They’d never – other than when talking about his last few encounters on their weekend of healing, during a truth-telling moment after their Dark Period – talked about what he did with other people.

“Tell me, David….Please?” Patrick’s fingers continued their journey across David’s chest. They paused over one of his nipples. Toying with it. Teasing it.

“I told you.” David said. Still leaning back but very aware of his dick. Becoming firmer with every word out of Patrick’s mouth. One hand began to slowly rub Patrick’s thigh.

“Just fucking?” Patrick’s brow furrowed slightly.

“Mostly. Umm…some fellatio... but … yeah. Why?”

Patrick’s breath was shaky when he exhaled. “…you ever… fuck him?”

With one shake of David’s head, he said, “Not that I recall.”

Patrick’s eyes dropped to David’s chest where his finger was rubbing a line, up and down, in the middle of his chest. Back to his eyes. Down to his mouth. “David…I …. Babe…” Patrick’s heart beat loudly in his chest.

“You want to fuck me? Prove you’re better or something? Is that what this is about, Mr. Brewer?” David teased with the hint of a smile on his face. He was _all in._ No matter what Patrick wanted. This line of questioning was… _stimulating,_ to say the least.

“No…David...” Patrick’s eyes darted to David’s curled lips…lingered as he focused on the stubble on his upper lip.

“You want a blow job? Is that it?” David asked. He moved his hand, his fingers grazed the length of Patrick’s very firm erection. David’s own cock hard and ready, witnessing the lust slowly wash over Patrick’s face. His body. 

Patrick’s head subtly shook quickly back and forth. He reached for the drawer by the bed and pulled out a condom and lube.

“Mmmmm. I understand.” David tugged at Patrick’s shirt.

Patrick’s eyes looked over David’s shoulder, embarrassed. “I haven’t…umm…gotten … _ready_.”

David shook his head and whispered, “It’s OK.”

Patrick sat up on his knees and pulled his t-shirt off and then frantically reached for David’s shirt and pulled it up and off of him.

He pushed David backward onto the bed and fell forward over him. Holding himself up over David. His tongue did not hesitate to slide into David’s open, waiting mouth. David sucked Patrick’s tongue and slid his own tongue against his. He welcomed the lusty kiss from him.

David’s hands worked to push Patrick’s pants down over his ass. He made a noise of frustration.

Patrick sat back up on his knees tugged his pants down and kicked them off. David pushed his own pants down.

Patrick’s mouth immediately went to David’s hard, throbbing cock. He licked him from base to tip and turned his head and mouthed David’s smooth, velvety shaft. Kissing, licking, gently sucking him. Patrick opened his mouth wide and pulled him in. A strong suction pulling a deep, satisfied moan from David who was thrilled with the turn of events. He had been worried when they’d begun talking that they’d end their evening with an argument. Or worse, Patrick sulking.

Patrick hungrily worked his way back up David. Fingers in his chest hair. Hands and cheek rubbing on David’s stubble. With a lubed hand, David’s fingers worked to open Patrick while they necked. Patrick, straddling David’s body, buried his face in David’s chest while his hips rocked at the feeling of David’s fingers doing what they never did to the man on the television screen.

He inhaled the scent he loved. He reveled in David’s neck. Licking him. Kissing him. Murmuring incoherent words into his flesh.

Patrick sat up on his knees and rolled the condom onto David’s throbbing cock and he straddled David, lowering himself down onto him.

David pulled his mouth into a side smile. He looked at Patrick and shook his head.

Patrick rolled back, feeling David fill him. “What? What’s that face you’re making?” He moved slightly. He began to rock up and down slowly on David’s cock. Steadying himself by settling his hands on David’s chest. Leaned his weight onto him.

David’s hand wrapped around the head of Patrick’s cock. Rolled over it. Back and forth, urging out a bead of precum to help lubricate his movements. “You…feel good.” David said, opting to not tell him what he was thinking.

“Mmmmm.” Patrick rocked, pushing himself into David’s hand when he pulled off his cock. And pulling out of David’s hand when he pushed down on his cock. “That…that’s not…your face…That face says you think something’s funny.”

“You do feel… Patrick, that feels so good.” David said.

Patrick paused. Stopped rocking.

The lack of movement caused David to open his eyes and looked at him.

Patrick’s eyes widened. “Tell me.”

David rolled his eyes. “M’Kayfine. Even when I’m fucking _you_ , you’re the one on top. You like to be in control, Mr. Brewer.”

“You don’t like that? I thought you liked it when I was up here.” Patrick was serious.

“I do. It’s good. I am not complaining, Patrick. Please…keep moving.” David bucked his hips against Patrick.

Patrick, holding still, looked down into David’s eyes. He knew David was teasing. He knew if felt good to him. But…he was right. Patrick liked to be in control when they were in bed. He liked to be the one calling the shots and David always allowed it. David liked it that way. Or at least he’d never protested.

But what Patrick had told David was that he wanted David to fuck him. And he meant it. He wanted David to be in control.

Patrick rocked up and down David’s cock. One. Two times. And then he reached down and held the condom at the base of David’s cock and he raised up off of him.

“Patrick. No. I didn’t mean….” David started.

“Just… Just come here.” Patrick held out a hand and David took it. He sat up.

“Do you want my front or my back?” Patrick kissed him. Kissed him in that spot he liked just under his jaw on his neck.

“Patrick. Just…”

“Front or back, Babe. You decide.” Patrick’s lips grazed David’s as he spoke.

David exhaled. “Sweetie. I want your back. But…you don’t…”

Patrick’s hand on the back of David’s head pulled him in for a bruising kiss. And without a word he turned his back to David and bent down onto the bed. Sitting on his knees. Resting his head on his forearms which lay flat on the mattress. His round ass offered up to David.

He heard David growl.

Patrick felt David’s hand slowly glide up his back. Felt it glide back down.

Felt David’s hands on each of his ass cheeks and felt David’s thumbs spread him open for David to see.

Felt David drag his cock along the line to his hole. And, then he felt him push himself back in to Patrick.

Patrick reached for his own cock. Wrapped his hand around the base, squeezing himself. His fingers reached for and cupped his balls; tugged them.

He felt David gently wrap his body around him. Felt his warm chest lay against Patrick’s back. Felt the mattress give way just a little bit more as David’s hand settled beside him, holding himself just over Patrick.

Patrick widened his knees and lowered himself, allowing David’s weight to push him down.

Small, slow movements of Patrick’s hips moved him on David’s cock. Even _under_ David, he was in control.

“Mr. Brewer.” David said in a low, patient voice over his shoulder, into his ear. “Stop. Let me have control.”

Patrick’s body stilled. He was quiet.

David’s kisses landed on his neck. On his shoulder. David rubbed his stubbled cheek on Patrick’s shoulder. Patrick realized he hadn’t actually ever felt that feeling before. He liked it.

Patrick turned his head, seeking connection to David. One of David’s arms wrapped up over Patrick’s shoulder; his hand settling on Patrick’s chest.

“Roll to your side with me.” David kissed his shoulder and pulled him back toward him. Patrick, moved with him until they were on their sides. David was the big spoon.

Patrick rolled his head back onto David’s shoulder. 

On their sides, David still inside of him. David shifted his upper leg, brought his knee up, and pushed Patrick’s leg forward with it. Patrick drew his knee up, opening himself to David. Giving him, fully, the access he wordlessly requested.

David knew he needed to talk to him. Patrick needed to hear him to feel connected.

“Patrick.” David breathed into his ear.

Patrick was still. Quiet.

“Do you know why I sometimes want you in front of me? Why I liked to look at your back?” David asked him. His voice still low. Patient.

 _Because you are imagining him. You’re fantasizing about him._ Patrick thought to himself. _Because if you don’t see my face, I can be anybody. Any one of them._

“Patrick?” David’s voice brought Patrick out of his own thoughts.

Patrick, quiet. Moved only his head. He shook it slightly. Indicating he did not know why David didn’t want to look at his face while they had sex.

David’s hand smoothed over the warm skin of Patrick’s back. From the slight love handles at his waist, up to his shoulder. _God, he loved the smooth skin of his back._ He moved his hand under Patrick’s arm and lay it flat against his chest. The pad of his thumb rubbed circles over one of Patrick’s nipples.

David began to rock against Patrick, he pulled back an inch and pushed himself back in. Slowly. Gently.

He kissed his shoulder. Patrick turned his head back. He wanted to see David.

David’s lips grazed over his ear. And then David began to speak.

“There is so much about you that I love, Patrick.”

David moved his hips again. He pulled slightly out of him and pressed himself back into him.

“I can’t pick a favorite part of you. Your deep brown eyes. Your smile. Your neck.”

He moved slowly into Patrick. Out. In.

“Sweetie… I love everything. Your arms and your thighs.”

Out. In. Gently. Rhythmically.

“Your back is so smooth and strong. But…your shoulders …Patrick…you know how you like my chest? I like your broad shoulders. You’re so… masculine … solid.”

David moved with more determination and he could feel Patrick moving with him, not in an effort to control, but an effort to go along with him on this ride where David drove.

He moved quietly. Out and in. His hand smoothing over Patrick’s skin. Down his side. Up his chest. His lips brushed against the back of Patrick’s neck.

Patrick felt the hot breath as David spoke against his neck.

“Patrick. None of them. None of them compare to you.” David said frankly. Because, honestly, when he was with Patrick, he never thought of any of them. Comparing them was a ridiculous notion.

David’s hands moved over Patrick’s chest. Patrick pressed back against David. David smiled as he heard Patrick moan.

“You’re a good man, Mr. Brewer.”

Out. In. Out. In.

“You love me.”

Out. In.

“Patrick…you protect me. You take care of me.”

Patrick moaned. 

“You let me take care of you.”

Out. In.

“I love you, Patrick Brewer.”

Out. In.

Patrick grabbed David’s hand by the wrist and he moved David’s hand.

David grinned into Patrick’s back as he found his hand settled on Patrick’s cock. Patrick held on to his own dick at the base. Squeezing and stroking his shaft while David’s hand wrapped around its head. David moved his hand to grasp it just under the head and used his thumb to glide over Patrick’s most sensitive area, pulling beads of precum with him as he moved.

“David, Please.” Patrick begged. He arched his back. He moved his arm back so his hand could grasp David’s hip. Slide back along his ass.

“What do you want, Mr. Brewer. Tell me.”

“Everything. More of everything. You. I fucking want you.”

David rotated slightly, moving himself so he could leverage himself over Patrick. Pressed Patrick forward slightly. Patrick’s raised knee kept him just off the mattress enough to stroke himself.

David pulled out and pushed himself back in. Roughly and quickly. His hand released Patrick’s cock so that he could hold himself over him.

David kept talking, knowing it was what Patrick wanted. What Patrick needed. “You… made our business… successful. You… work so hard…make sure everything’s… perfect. So…smart. So… nice. To me. To everyone. I love you for all of it.”

David began to move more quickly.

Patrick moaned again.

“I like… seeing you …on the baseball field. The way you… tug on your hat… when you see me. _God, Patrick_ …when you sing to me.”

Moving quickly and harshly.

So near.

Both of them, so near.

“But…oh… _fuck me_ , Patrick. Watching you… take charge …hauling his ass… out of the store. Making him leave. You. Protect. Me. No matter what. Mr. Brewer. You protect me.”

Moving in him. David kissed his shoulder.

“This back. These shoulders. …Fuck. You’re my man. Patrick. You’re _my_ man.”

When David heard the deep groan begin to escape Patrick, he moved his hand to grasp Patrick’s cock. Patrick’s body jolted while he reached the place David worked to take him. As cum spilled over David’s hand, he pulled down off the head of Patrick’s cock and stroked his shaft.

David continued pounding himself into Patrick. Continued talking to him. Telling Patrick of his ownership. “Mine. God Patrick. You’re mine.”

Patrick spoke quietly. “Fuck me David. God you feel good. Fuck me.” He repeated his plea until David found the release he needed, emptying himself into the condom while Patrick’s fingers dug into the flesh of his hip.

As their bodies began to still. David’s hand moved off Patrick’s dick. He moved to hold the base of the condom, ready to pull out, when Patrick’s hand reached back and grabbed his wrist.

“No. Please, David. Wait a sec.”

David held still a moment. Then kissed Patrick’s cheek that was turned to him. “Let me just hold the base of it so it doesn’t slide in. I won’t pull out.”

Patrick released his hold on David’s wrist. He lowered himself down on the mattress and David went with him.

David held the condom to the base of his dick and waited. Waited. Waited for Patrick to tell him what he wanted. Waited for Patrick to say something. He kissed him on the shoulder. He rubbed his cheek, in all its stubble-covered glory, over Patrick’s smooth, hairless shoulder.

“Ready?” David asked him quietly.

“I don’t....I umm…I don’t want it to be over.” Patrick said quietly.

“I know, sweetie.” David carefully moved out of him. Pulled off the condom, tied it off, dropped it in the trashcan near the bed. Then wrapped his body back around Patrick and held him until he was ready to move again.

++++++

They lay on the bed in the dark room. Patrick on his back, wearing only his underwear. David, dressed head to toe in warm cozy bedclothes, tucked under Patrick’s arm. David’s head on his shoulder. Arm across Patrick’s bare chest. Fingers dancing along his smooth skin.

“Thank you.” Patrick said quietly. His eyes closed. His legs crossed at the ankles. Completely relaxed, enjoying the feeling of David’s fingers on his skin.

“For what?” David asked. He moved his leg to drape over Patrick’s legs.

“Just…for all of it. Today. The past almost 8 months. All of it.”

“The appreciation is mutual.” David smiled into Patrick’s chest. He kissed him there.

Patrick’s hand toyed with the hair on top of David’s head. 

David pulled the covers up over himself. Happy that he was warm. Patrick kept him warm in more ways than one.

++++++

As the weeks passed, they had many days with very few in-store customers, but sales on the website skyrocketed. The snow piled up outside, and work inside was busy as they filled order after order and made their way to the post office.

It was David’s job to gather the items that needed packed for shipping. Each morning, he printed the orders and then went back to the storage room and set out the boxes. He took the time to include a hand-written note of thanks to each customer. He signed them all with his and Patrick’s names.

Patrick’s time became busy as well. As tax time approached, he not only had the work for the store, but he had work for Ray. Evenings were spent sitting at the desk in the office at Ray’s going through contracts, doing books, filing receipts, and getting taxes ready.

David spent most nights at Patrick’s because…well, it was just warmer there. He often sat on the couch, under the quilt Patrick’s grandmother made, while he and Ray watched television. Patrick was happy that David was with them and he worked happily at his desk knowing his boyfriend was in the next room.

And Ray. Well, Ray was pleased as punch that his reality-television-watching friend was at the ready each night to discuss the happenings of their favorite shows.

Ray’s relationship with Aaron fizzled after the new year. When David and Patrick sat with him in the kitchen the night he told them, they had offered him comfort but found his eternal optimism where they thought they would find heartache. 

“Oh,” Ray waved his hand in front of them with an overly-positive smile. “I’m fine. It was good while it lasted. Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, I always say.”

++++++

“Please, Patrick?” David sat on the couch in the office, watching Patrick work on sorting receipts.

“David. I told you. Take my car. It will be fine.” He was exasperated they were having the same conversation for the third time that day.

David stood and moved to the desk. He squirmed his way between Patrick and the desk and leaned back against it.

Patrick made a sound of protest and looked around David to make sure the receipts were all safe and still in their stacks.

“I don’t want to drive all the way to Elmdale at night in this weather. It’s supposed to keep snowing and we don’t know how bad it will get. I can’t be responsible for ruining another car.” David truly was afraid to drive during the winter weather, and he didn’t particularly like to drive at night.

Patrick stood and rested his hands on David’s waist. David’s hands, as if on reflex, moved to Patrick’s shoulders.

David smiled coyly at him.

Patrick’s eyes traveled over David’s face and landed on his eyes. “All right. I’ll go to the gym while you have your meeting. I need to get a workout in anyway.”

Patrick was rewarded with a large, toothy grin. And a peck on the cheek.

++++++

After Patrick dropped David off at the AIDS Center for the board meeting, he headed down the street to his gym. Headphones in, he ran on the treadmill and then moved to the weights to work his legs, shoulders, back, and arms. He knew that bringing David to town was more about David being nervous about his first meeting than it was about him driving in the snow. And that was OK with Patrick. He liked when David needed him.

Knowing the meeting was scheduled to be over at 8, Patrick left the gym and headed that way. He sat in the parking lot and listened to music as he watched the meeting’s attendees leave the building. One after another, men and women left the building for their cars and drove away. He waited until there was only one other car in the lot and he still had yet to see David.

He was just moving to open his car door – to head inside to check on him – when he saw movement through the large window that covered the front of the building. He saw David and Cody, the AIDS Center’s nurse/counselor. They stood, talking in the lobby.

Patrick watched as David tilted his head and talked with him. Watched as Cody leaned his head back and laughed. Watched as David turned to head toward the door and Cody’s hand rested on David’s upper back as he walked behind him.

A ball of jealousy bubbled up in Patrick’s chest as his eyes bounced from David’s body to Cody’s as they stood outside the building while Cody locked the door. His breathing became rapid as he watched Cody turn to David and the two men embraced. His blood became hot as he watched the brief exchange of cheek kisses.

David turned and walked briskly to Patrick’s car. He smiled broadly and waved at Patrick, who returned the smile and waved to his boyfriend.

David was talking as he got into the car. “So sorry that took so long, Patrick. Cody and I got to talking.” David looked over at Patrick and remembered to greet him. He breathily said “Hi.” He smiled and leaned over for a kiss.

Patrick leaned in, pulled David close by placing a hand behind his neck. He kissed him with more passion than David had expected. David had a look of confusion on his face when Patrick released him with a curt, “Hi.” And then he put the car in gear and headed back to Schitt’s Creek.

++++++

On a sunny day toward the end of January, when the snow had finally stopped falling, they were both at the store lost in their own set of tasks.

“Hey, Sweetie?” David walked into the office and stopped as he realized Patrick was running some numbers. He waited.

Patrick sat; receipts flat on the desk in front of him. He flipped through them with his left hand while his right hand moved quickly over the 10-key calculator.

Patrick stopped. He looked up at David. “Yeah?”

“What _the fuck_ are those?” David asked.

“What?” Patrick shook his head.

“Those things.” David waved his hands.

“The receipts? These are receipts from the things we purchased last year for general operating expenses.” Patrick said, seriously. “Gettin’ everything ready for tax time.”

“No. Those red things.” David’s hand flitted in front of himself. His finger pointing at Patrick.

Patrick held up his hand. He wiggled his thumb and forefinger. “They’re rubber fingertips.”

“Um.” David put one hand on his hip and, for a moment, he squeezed the bridge of his nose with the thumb and middle finger of his other hand. He dropped his hands to his side and sighed. “My dear boyfriend. I _know_ what they _are_. I’m asking… what are… _rubber fingertips_ …doing on _your_ hand?”

“They help me turn the receipts faster.” Patrick said as though he wasn’t witnessing the emotional breakdown of his boyfriend over the presence of the red rubber fingertips.

“M’Kay.” David raised his chin in the air, shook his head, and rolled his eyes.

“Did you want something?” Patrick asked.

“Yeah. I suppose my next question is… when are you going to start wearing readers so you can see better and orthopedic shoes for the extra arch support?” David said sarcastically before he turned and left the office.

Patrick stared after him, shrugged his shoulders, lowered his head and flipped the receipts back to the first one.

Then he started adding them again.

++++++

They worked together in the storage room, packing the online orders in their shipping boxes. They listened to music and sang. Pausing, occasionally, when Patrick would pull David into his arms. They danced a little. They made out a little. David packed orders. Patrick rearranged the stock for the shipment they were getting in before Valentine’s day hit.

David came out of the restroom. “Patrick, that tile fell off the wall again.”

“What?!” Patrick was frustrated. “I’ve used that special glue and put it back up at least three times since the holidays.”

“I know.” David nodded his head, patiently watching the same response from his boyfriend that he always had when David told him about that tile. “Clearly, _the glue_ is not going to be a permanent fix.”

“I’ll do some more research and see if there’s a better glue out there or something.” Patrick mumbled. He shook his head. Pulled half of his bottom lip into his mouth. Hands on his hips. David thought of it as Patrick’s “Thinking pose.” He imagined that when Patrick was a kid in school, this was the look he had on his face when taking a test, or solving a math problem. He made a mental note to ask Patrick’s mother the next time they talked.

++++++

The four of them were in Patrick’s car on their way home from the movies in Elmdale. Patrick drove. Both hands on the wheel; it was snowing. Again.

David’s hand rested on Patrick’s thigh as he argued with his sister who sat in the back seat with Ted.

“I just don’t get it. I don’t know why we had to see _that_!”

“Because, David! You didn’t want to see the scary one.” Alexis shot at him.

“That’s not _my fault_. I thought the rom-com was playing.” David argued with her.

“I did too, Bud!” It was clear that Ted was trying to stop the bickering.

“Yeah, me too, Ted.” Patrick chimed in. “I didn’t think it was changing until tomorrow night. But…the Lego one was OK. Right?”

David patted Patrick’s thigh. “It was fine. I enjoyed the popcorn. And the Milk Duds…and the Gummy Bears.”

They deposited their back-seat passengers at Ted’s place with Patrick and Ted promising they’d do it again. Though neither really relished the thought of taking the two siblings out on another couple’s date.

++++++

Patrick waited in bed for David to finish his nightly ablution when Ray stopped by his room. Ray knocked on the door twice before opening it wide all while saying, “Knock! Knock!”

“Hey, Ray.” Patrick greeted him from his perch on the side of the bed.

Ray stopped in to thank Patrick for the extra help he’d given over the past month and to ask if he’d be able to continue as they headed into tax season.

“No worries, Ray.” Patrick assured him as David rounded the corner and entered the room.

David’s hand settled on Ray’s shoulder as he edged past him into the room. “Pardon me, Ray.” David said with a gentle smile.

Ray and Patrick continued to chat as Ray turned sideways to allow David to pass into the room.

The three of them had cohabited in their own odd little way over the course of the past months. And, although, they had their fair share of awkward moments with him, David and Patrick knew that, ultimately, Ray meant well.

As David set his things down and moved toward the bed, he turned to wait for Ray and Patrick to finish talking about their work plan.

“Thank you, Patrick.” Ray said.

“No problem, Ray. Good night.”

“Good night, David.”

“Good night, Ray.”

“Door open? Door closed?” Ray said with his hand on the door knob.

“Oh, _m’god_.” David mumbled as he looked at Patrick.

“Door closed. Always. Thanks, Ray.” Patrick smiled at David.

With the door firmly closed, Patrick moved to turn off the overhead light. David stood beside the bed and pulled off his t-shirt and pushed his sleep pants down and kicked them off his feet. Patrick did the same.

David pulled his rings off and put them on the bedside table.

“What are you doing?” Patrick asked. Brow furrowed.

“What?” David asked.

Patrick glanced at the rings. Shook his head. “Nothing.” He reached for the bedding and pulled the covers back.

David crawled into the bed.

Patrick opened the drawer and pulled out a condom and the bottle of lube before he settled down in the bed.

Patrick rolled toward David who automatically adjusted his legs to accommodate Patrick on top of him, his legs settled between David’s. Automatically, like a reflex, David pulled his knees up. Legs wrapped around Patrick’s waist.

Lips kissing. Whispered words. Hands gliding over skin. Fingers toying with hair. Tongues tasting skin. Fingers stretching what needed stretched. Condom rolled on. More kisses. Sounds of pleasure. And a dual release. Condom tied off and dropped. T-shirt to help clean up.

They rolled to their sides, facing toward the door as they always did. Patrick’s arm wrapped around him. David’s hands holding on to those thick forearms. Patrick was the big spoon.

A kiss on the shoulder.

Whispered _I Love Yous._

Comforting.

Expected … Methodical.

Sleep.

++


	2. Good Vibrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With David's mother preparing to leave for the filming of her new movie, David and Alexis make the decision to stay at the motel with their dad. David, while reading an old magazine, discovers a quiz that piques his interest. David enlists Patrick's help in completing the quiz. David learns that a dear friend is pregnant and talks about the pregnancy with Patrick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place before episode 5.01. 
> 
> ****** WARNING******  
> Several songs from 1991 are discussed - and the links to their videos are provided. If you have an aversion to smarmy 1990s videos that objectify women in video and in word, do not click on the links.  
> (Seriously, the things we danced to in the clubs back then) *Face palm emoji*  
> ****End of Warning*****
> 
> This chapter is simply meant to set us up and prepare us for 5.01 "The Crowening."  
> (Which will be the next chapter). 
> 
> I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> ++

++++++

David sat beside Alexis, across from his parents for a Rose family Sunday brunch. Alexis bounced her straw in her berry and wheatgrass smoothie. David shoveled a bite of pancake with extra syrup into his mouth.

“Kids, this is our last family brunch for the foreseeable future. I’m taking your mother to the airport tomorrow.” David’s Dad told them.

“Did they end up buying the ticket for you? or….?” David asked, taking a bite off the end of a piece of bacon that he held between his thumb and forefinger.

“I’m assured there will be a reimbursement,” his mother told him. “Aaannnd…I am very much looking forward to the bed and breaaakfast that will be my abode while filming. A bit of solitude and pampering will be a welcome respite.”

David’s mother was full of a rare sense of optimism. He liked this look on her. He glanced at Alexis who shared a smile with him.

Outside the café he pulled her aside. “Alexis, I think we should spend the night at the motel tonight.”

Alexis tugged at her hair, “Ummm…I’m not sure that’s necessary? She wouldn’t even notice if I was gone, David.”

David looked at his sister without saying a word.

“M’kay. Fine.” Alexis rolled her eyes. “See you tonight.”

++++++

“I haven’t seen you for a while.” Stevie greeted him from behind the motel counter.

“Hello to you, too.” David shot at her.

“Seriously. Where have you been?” She asked him.

He plopped down on the couch and started shuffling through the magazines on the table in front of it. “It’s too cold in my room. I’ve been staying at Patrick’s.”

“You _could_ pitch in to help pay for the new heating system that we’re trying to buy.” Stevie told him.

“M’Kay. I won’t be doing that… so….” He chose a magazine and sat back. Flipping through it.

“So, if you’re too cold…then why are you even here?” She asked him. “Surely you didn’t miss me.”

David lifted his chin, rolled his eyes, and shook his head. “Mom is leaving tomorrow and Alexis and I thought it would be a nice gesture if we stayed the night.”

“ _Alexis_ … and you?” Stevie asked dryly.

“Well….” David said. He shrugged his shoulders. He stood and walked over to the counter.

“Whatever the reason. It’s nice to see you.” Stevie told him.

“I’m… going to go to my room for a while.” David said. He walked to the door.

“Taking that with you?” Stevie nodded at the magazine he held in his hand.

“I need a new magazine. I’ve read the ones you gave me last month … like… _a million times_.”

“ _New_ is a relative term.” She told him. “They’re from the early 90s. Your dad found them up in the closet behind the washing machine when he was cleaning.”

“This will do. Thanks.” He stuck the magazine under his arm. He hesitated, his hand on the door knob.

“What’s the matter, David?” She asked him.

David shook his head. “You’ve not ever seen my dad…when Mom isn’t around…have you?”

“She was in Thornbridge for that municipalities conference…”

“No. I mean… really… _away_. Like… _on set_ …away.” David clarified.

“No. Why?”

David shook his head. “Stevie…this isn’t going to be easy….”

++++++

David hadn’t thought a lot about it until he talked with Stevie. He was reminded of what his dad was like when his mom was away on set. His dad would need David and Alexis to be around. His dad…got lost…for lack of a better term.

It always annoyed David in the past, to see his Dad lose himself when she was away. But now that David had Patrick, he thought he could understand it all a bit more. If Patrick went away for weeks on end, David wasn’t sure he could handle it. _No. Correction._ David was _sure_ he would _not_ be able to handle it.

He went back to the room and sat down with Alexis. They talked and agreed. Their dad needed them there. They would stay at the motel for the foreseeable future. And take turns when they stayed away, so that one of them was always there at night.

He picked up his phone to text Patrick.

_You (5:46 pm):_

‘I’m going to need to stay here longer than just tonight.’

_Patrick (5:46 pm):_

‘Everything OK?’

_You (5:46 pm):_

‘I’m worried about Dad.’

_Patrick (5:46 pm):_

‘He sick?’

_You (5:46 pm):_

‘No. He doesn’t do well when Mom is gone.’

_Patrick (5:47 pm):_

‘I completely understand that. Want me to bring anything to you?’

_You (5:47 pm):_

‘My toiletry bag.’

‘Might as well bring all my things. I can do my laundry here.’

_Patrick (5:47 pm):_

‘Want dinner?’

_You (5:48 pm):_

‘Maybe pizza? He might like that. Beer.’

_Patrick (5:48 pm):_

*Thumbs up emoji*

‘I have about 30 minutes more work on these papers for Ray. I’ll order it and pick it up on my way to you.’

_You (5:48 pm):_

‘I’m already missing you.’

*Loudly crying face emoji*

_Patrick (5:48 pm):_

‘Same. But if he needs you around, you need to be there.’

*Blue heart emoji*

++++++

Patrick brought pizza and beer. Ted and Alexis…rather… _Ted_ brought the makings for ice cream sundaes. They had surprised their Mom and Dad and sat with them in their room. They ate. They told stories of when their mom was off working on other productions. Mrs. Rose clearly loved all the stories about her.

Patrick watched Mr. Rose and David. He watched David go out of his way to make sure his Dad felt connected and not lost and alone. He watched Mr. Rose scold David, in a loving way, about being respectful when he talked about his mother. He watched David’s satisfied face when Mr. Rose laughed and smacked his knee over one of the stories David told.

Alexis and David were in rare sibling form. Finishing one another’s sentences. Telling story after story to the delight of their parents. Patrick sat beside David; his arm draped over the back of David’s chair. His hand occasionally rubbing David between his shoulder blades. David’s hand resting on Patrick’s thigh.

During a particularly humorous tale about a GAP KIDS photo shoot where Alexis and David were modeling and Mrs. Rose took the camera away from the photographer, Patrick glanced at Ted, who was similarly stationed next to Alexis. Ted and Patrick locked eyes. They shared a smile. Both pleased at the interactions they were witnessing. Both understanding the rare privilege it was to have a seat at this family table.

Ted soon declared that he needed to leave. Alexis walked him to his car. Patrick and David stole into David’s bedroom for a goodnight kiss. An I’ll-miss-you-tonight grope. A see-you-tomorrow hug.

++++++

And then they were alone in their rooms. Moira. Johnny. Alexis. David.

“It’s nice to have you kids home tonight,” Johnny said from the doorway between the rooms.

David sat on the end of his bed. He looked up from his phone to his dad, standing in his flannel night shirt that hung down past his knees. He stifled the urge to make his regular snarky comment about Bob Cratchit. Instead he opted for, “We shouldn’t be anywhere else right now, Dad.”

Alexis caught David’s eye as she exited the bathroom. She gave him a smile and her signature double wink.

Their mother came into the room to tell them goodbye. Her bags were packed and she and their dad would leave long before dawn for the airport.

As much as his family could annoy him, David admitted to himself he had missed his family over the past weeks. _It was_ …he couldn’t believe what he was admitting to himself… _good to be home._

And he meant it. There was nowhere else on this night that he should be.

++++++

David and Alexis settled into their beds, both reading quietly. The bedside lamp between them illuminating both their spaces. They had discussed the plan of staying with their dad until their mother returned. This meant no weekends away either – unless they staggered them. One being gone on Friday night. The other on Saturday.

They both recalled that in the past, their dad never did well at handling their mother’s absence. Back in the Rose Video days, he would work extra hours and stay at the office when their mother was away working. Their friends who worked at the Rose Video Central Office would quietly complain to them. Their dad suddenly was involved in every project. Sitting in on meetings he didn’t usually attend. Inserted himself into projects that were previously delegated to others.

Both had talked with their boyfriends. All were on board. All four had agreed and would stick to the plan. Their dad would have someone in the next room every night that their mom was away.

++++++

David and Patrick texted, as they always did when they spent the night apart. But, that first night was particularly difficult for both of them, as they had spent virtually every night of the past four weeks together. After texting, after saying goodnight, David put his phone on his bedside table and turned over in bed.

David was cold and couldn’t seem to get warm. He missed the feel of Patrick’s body pressed against his back. He missed the weight of Patrick’s arm draped over him. He missed the heat of Patrick’s body. He missed their end-of-the-day quiet bed-time conversation. He missed Patrick peppering his shoulder with kisses. He tried sleeping and couldn’t.

He looked over to check that Alexis was asleep. Her back was to him and she was breathing soundly. He turned on his phone’s flashlight and sat up in bed. He pulled the magazine from off the bedside table. Flipped through it.

He read an article on how a well-manicured hand can lead to a better outcome in salary negotiating. He enjoyed another article that focused on stand-out hair trends “From the board room to the bedroom.”

A quiz caught his eye. “How Electric Is Your Relationship.” Sure…it was from the Summer of 1991, but those quizzes stand the test of time. _Don’t they?_ People with real skill… like doctors or therapists create them. _Don’t they?_

He got up and went over to the desk where Alexis had set up her make-shift office. He pulled a pen from the cup holding an assortment, and he sat down at the table. He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth as he began to read the questions.

He had no trouble answering the first few questions, but then he stumbled on the fourth. He texted Patrick.

_You (_ _10:53 pm_ _):_

‘Are you awake?’

_Patrick (10:53 pm):_

‘Yup.’

‘Can’t sleep.’

_You (10:53 pm):_

‘Me either.’

‘I have a question for you, but you have to promise to not ask any questions in return.’

_Patrick (10:53 pm):_

‘I don’t like when you start a conversation like that. I can’t agree to not asking follow-ups.’

‘It’s like you don’t even know me’

_You (10:54 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_Patrick (10:54 pm):_

‘David’

David had learned to not respond to Patrick when he was being disagreeable. He just waited.

_Patrick (10:56 pm):_

‘OK. What?’

_You (10:56 pm):_

‘OK. I’m going to give you a list of multiple-choice answers so wait until I am finished entering it all in before you answer.’

_Patrick (10:56 pm):_

‘OK’

_You (10:56 pm):_

‘Patrick. I said wait.’

He waited for Patrick to respond. He did not.

_You (10:57 pm):_

‘Patrick. Are you still there? Did you fall asleep?’

_Patrick (10:57 pm):_

‘You said to not respond’

_You (10:57 pm):_

*Face palm emoji*

‘Ok. I’m going to text you the question*

_Patrick (10:57 pm):_

*GIF of John Stewart eating popcorn waiting with excitement*

_You (10:58 pm):_

‘If our sex life was like an article of clothing, what would it be?’

_Patrick (10:58 pm):_

‘oh hell no’

_You (10:58 pm):_

‘PATRICK!’

_Patrick (10:58 pm):_

‘Sorry. Continue.’

_You (10:59 pm):_

‘If our sex life was like an article of clothing, what would it be?’

‘a – a leather thong with zippered crotch’

‘b – an old cozy, soft, washable, well-worn sweater’

‘c – a dirty burlap smock’

‘d – snug corduroy bell bottoms’

David waited and received no response.

_You (_ _11:00_ _pm):_

‘OK. I’m done. Answer.’

_Patrick (11:00 pm):_

‘B’

_You (11:00 pm):_

‘Incorrect’

_Patrick (11:00 pm):_

‘No. I stand by it. B.’

_You (11:01 pm):_

‘Our sex life? No. Patrick.’

‘our relationship --- MAYBE. But not our sex life.’

‘no.’

_Patrick (11:01 pm):_

‘Alright. Whatever you say.’

‘Getting tired. Going to go to sleep.’

Patrick knew better than to argue with David when he was so adamant about something. They’d be up all night.

_You (11:01 pm):_

‘Why wouldn’t you call it something else?’

_Patrick (11:01 pm):_

‘Because a burlap smock would be really itchy David. Irritating. Our sex life is certainly not irritating.’

_You (11:01 pm):_

‘Right now you’re irritating.’

*Middle finger emoji*

_Patrick (11:01 pm):_

‘sex life is not the same as late night texting’

_You (11:02 pm):_

‘But a well-worn sweater?’

‘WASHABLE?!?!’

‘OLD?’

_Patrick (11:02 pm):_

‘So you think our sex life is corduroy bell bottoms?’

*Face with hand over mouth emoji*

‘Irritating to the inner thighs?’

Patrick knew which one David wanted him to pick. He couldn’t resist teasing his boyfriend and hitting all the buttons that made him the irrational man he loved.

_You (11:02 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_Patrick (11:02 pm):_

‘Yes, my love?’

_You (11:02 pm):_

‘a – a leather thong with zippered crotch’

_Patrick (11:03 pm):_

‘You think?’

*Thinking face emoji*

_You (11:03 pm):_

‘Yes! I do. Don’t you?’

David waited and watched for his phone to indicate that Patrick was typing a response, but it didn’t. And he didn’t.

_You (11:04 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_Patrick (11:04 pm):_

‘David’

_You (11:04 pm):_

‘Do you agree that we’re a leather thong with a zippered crotch?’

_Patrick (11:04 pm):_

‘Sure, David.’

_You (11:04 pm):_

‘Good. Thank you.’

_Patrick (11:05 pm):_

‘I mean, throw a ball-gag in there. Maybe a chained collar and leash. It’s COMPLETELY us.’

_You (11:05 pm):_

‘Damnit Patrick.’

_Patrick (11:05 pm):_

‘We may have had a handful of times that are leather thong related, David. But that’s not our regular sex life.’

‘And that’s ok with me’

‘It really is. I love our sex life.’

Patrick waited. No response came.

_Patrick (11:06 pm):_

‘David?’

‘is our sex life not satisfying to you?’

_You (11:06 pm):_

‘It is’

Patrick waited. He knew David was processing.

_You (11:07 pm):_

‘Talk to me about the fucking worn out sweater.’

_Patrick (11:07 pm):_

‘The answer was:’

‘b – an old cozy, soft, washable, well-worn sweater’

_You (11:07 pm):_

‘So?’

_Patrick (11:07 pm):_

‘Soft. Touchable. Safe. Comfortable.’

_You (11:08 pm):_

‘Washable, Patrick? That’s not even a NICE sweater.’

‘The answer wasn’t even a designer sweater. High end sweater.’

_Patrick (11:08 pm):_

‘Durable. Stands the test of time. Reliable. You can count on it to withstand getting stains and being washed and still being soft and resilient.”

_You (11:08 pm):_

‘But it doesn’t get a very high score on the electricity scale.’

_Patrick (11:08 pm):_

‘And the zippered thong does?’

_You (11:09 pm):_

‘Yes’

_Patrick (11:09 pm):_

‘Then we are a zippered leather thong.’

_You (11:09 pm):_

‘Thank you’

_Patrick (11:09 pm):_

‘worn under a pair of corduroy bell bottoms’

_You (11:09 pm):_

‘Good night, Patrick.’

_Patrick (11:10 pm):_

‘Good night, my love.’

_You (11:10 pm):_

‘Sleep well’

_Patrick (11:10 pm):_

‘I hope when I unzip this thong it doesn’t catch on my balls.’

_You (11:10 pm):_

‘I’m so glad you’re taking this seriously’

_Patrick (11:11 pm):_

‘Can’t wait for you to try out the burlap boxers I got you for Valentine’s Day.’

_You (11:11 pm):_

‘OK. That’s enough.’

_Patrick (11:11 pm):_

‘Don’t let me forget to stop off at the post office tomorrow.’

_You (11:11 pm):_

‘Why? What are you expecting?”

_Patrick (11:12 pm):_

‘The nipple clamps we ordered’

_You (11:12 pm):_

‘All right. You’ve made your point.’

_Patrick (11:12 pm):_

‘Hey. David.’

_You (11:12 pm):_

‘What?’

_Patrick (11:13 pm):_

‘Seriously.’

‘I wouldn’t mind if the blue ribbon made an appearance once in a while.’

_You (11:13 pm):_

‘Mr. Brewer.’

_Patrick (11:13 pm):_

‘And, any time you want the belt…’

*GIF of the torso of a man pulling quickly on the end of his belt, whipping it out of his belt loops*

David’s eyes widened when he read Patrick’s text. And he chuckled quietly to himself when the GIF popped up.

_You (11:13 pm):_

‘Yes, please’

_Patrick (11:13 pm):_

‘David. Are you unhappy?’

‘Unsatisfied?’

_You (11:14 pm):_

‘Not at all, Mr. Brewer. I’m very satisfied.’

_Patrick (11:14 pm):_

‘Now. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go jack off because you and this stupid quiz have me thinking about blue ribbons and yes sirs.’

_You (11:14 pm):_

‘I’m going to go take a shower.’

‘Maybe think about bathtubs.’

‘Good night, Mr. Brewer.’

++++++

David sat in the office making his usual Friday update calls to the vendors. Patrick worked the front of the store which was busier than it had been for several weeks. With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, some of their regular patrons came in for presents.

Patrick remembered that flowers, candy, and jewelry made Rachel happy. He wasn’t sure that she’d enjoy the things being bought today. But, then again, he didn’t do much else to make her happy, so who was he to judge people who were buying gifts for their loved-ones at the Apothecary?

Roland had come in to buy a manicure/pedicure spa set for Jocelyn. Bob purchased a few gifts for Gwen: a set of bath bombs, the orange and honey goat milk lotion that was new to Amy’s line of products, and some flavored massage oil.

Picture frames, note cards, candles, and chocolates were big sellers as well.

David stuck his head out from the office and waited quietly while Patrick rang up the wine and cheese being purchased by an older pair of gentlemen. He waited as he watched Patrick walk the men to the door and hold it open for them. He suppressed a smile as one of the men gave an oblivious Patrick the once-over.

“What’s up?” Patrick asked as he shut the door behind the customers. He locked it and turned the sign to indicate the end of their work day.

“ _Ohm’godPatrick_.” David breathed the sentence out as though it were one word. “You aren’t going to believe it.” His left hand twisted the rings on his right hand.

“What?”

“Amy’s _pregnant_!” David clasped his hands in front of himself.

Patrick grinned. “That’s great!” He moved to the register and started the process of closing it out.

“Is it?” David made a face that indicated he wasn’t sure. “I mean…a _baby_.” He twisted his face as though he was smelling a dirty diaper. Then he shrugged, “But…she and Terri are _very_ excited…so…I guess… _yea_? I mean… _yea_ for them?” David smiled and then clapped his hands together.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s really great.” Patrick said. He turned and leaned back against the register and looked at David. He crossed his arms over his chest. He was surprised that David was showing a little excitement. “ _You_ seem…excited…?”

“I am. I’m happy for them. But... you don’t seem to be. Why not?” David took in Patrick’s calm demeanor.

“Oh… I’m happy for them. For sure. It’s just…I knew.” Patrick admitted.

“Shut. Up.” David smacked Patrick’s arm. “What?”

“Terri told me.”

“When? Why didn’t you tell me?” David asked.

“New Year’s Eve. I didn’t want to take the fun out of it for Amy.” Patrick said.

“You’ve known for _five weeks_ and you haven’t told me? Why did _she_ wait so long?” David asked.

Patrick fiddled with the pens in the container by the register. “Terri said they weren’t going to tell anyone until they were…sure everything was… OK. Must be that…everything… _is_ OK.”

David caught that Patrick averted his eyes while he spoke.

The register done running the totals, Patrick pulled the drawer and headed to the office.

“I still don’t….” David hesitated then asked, “Why did Terri tell _you_?”

Patrick’s heart beat loudly in his chest. Clearly Amy didn’t tell David _everything_.

“How about you let me balance this and then we’ll sit and talk. I’ll tell you what I know.” Patrick said.

David eyed him suspiciously. His eyes darted from Patrick to the doorway that led from the office to the store. “M’Kay. I’ll go do the floors. But…then…you tell me everything.” David pointed at Patrick as he left the office. “Everything.”

“OK.” Patrick didn’t look at David while he started to add the totals for the day.

“Patrick Brewer.” David gave Patrick a serious look.

Patrick looked up at him, “Huh?”

“Everything. Promise.”

Patrick gave him a smile of reassurance and a quick wink. “Everything.”

David mumbled to himself as he left the office to do his chores. “Keeping secrets from me. Who the hell does he think he is?”

++++++

They sat on each end of the couch, facing one another. The music on the Bluetooth speakers in the store quietly playing in the other room. Patrick watched him. His eyes never left David’s face and all the expressions that crossed it.

David sat his empty wine glass on the coffee table. He pulled his feet up under himself. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Sooo…” David twisted his face into an expression that Patrick would swear he had never seen in all the months of knowing him. “That’s…ummm… _that’s_ …what they…fought over.” He stated more than asked as he processed everything Patrick had told him.

Patrick noted that David didn’t use his signature question-mark voice.

Patrick nodded without speaking. His eyes still on David’s face.

They sat in silence.

“Does it upset you to know that Amy wanted to ask you?” Patrick asked him.

“No.” David shook his head.

Patrick sat quietly. He knew David well enough to know he’d get more out of David if he didn’t push him. He waited while David processed.

“It’s not like... it’s not like I haven’t been asked to do it before.” David huffed out a laugh and leaned forward to make his point.

“You … ummm…you …. you… have?” Patrick pushed down the urge to overreact at what David said.

David nodded with exaggeration. “Ummm…Yeah... Name an _attractive,_ single, cis man in the LGBTQ community who _hasn’t_ been asked.” He waved his hand in a circle to indicate the world outside the walls of the Apothecary.

“Have… have….Ummm…” Patrick coughed to cover his frustration at being unable to form a sentence in a calm, rational manner. He tried again. “Did you agree to it?”

“God no.” David shook his head and made a face of disgust. “Can you _imagine_!?” He shuddered.

A gust of breath escaped Patrick’s chest. A smile crossed his face as he chuckled at David’s facial expression.

Patrick crossed his arms over his chest. He tilted his head down, but looked up at David. “Why…I mean…I can see why they’d want _you_. Why did you say no?”

David shrugged. “I guess I always figured why be a part of bringing another kid into the world. You know? I mean…ew.”

“Yeah.” Patrick nodded quietly. “I understand.” Patrick did not understand. Patrick had always … _always_ … wanted to be a dad.

“So…Terri just didn’t want a kid who looked like me? Or…she had someone else in mind?” David changed the subject back to their good friends. “Did she tell you why she didn’t want me?”

“Yup.” Patrick nodded and spoke quietly. “She told me.” He stood and walked over to the kitchenette counter. He poured himself more whiskey. He turned and leaned his back against the counter. Took a sip of whiskey.

“Well this seems suspenseful.” David shook his head and arched an eyebrow.

He moved back to the couch. Set his drink on the coffee table. Turned to look at David. Then lowered his head and looked at his hands in his lap.

“Patrick. Just say it.” David said abruptly.

Patrick brought his head up and looked David directly in the eyes. His voice shook a little as he spoke. “Terri … she didn’t think I’d be OK with it.” He shook his head. “Didn’t want to cause problems between us. So,… she told Amy that she didn’t want her to ask you. Amy… she really wanted it to be you because she feels a close connection to you. So… they fought. A lot.”

David nodded his head. “I see.” He said quietly. The hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth. “Why…exactly…did Terri think it would cause problems?”

David knew the answer before he asked it. But he wanted Patrick to have to sit, even if it was difficult, in a truth telling moment. Because David was uncomfortable with Patrick keeping something so important from him for so long.

Patrick picked up his glass. Sipped his whiskey. Held the glass in his lap. Ran a finger around the rim of the glass. “She just…Ummm… she thought I might not be OK with it.” He mumbled.

“You told me that, Patrick.” David backed up against the end of the couch, stretched one leg out along the back of it and patted the space on the cushion between his legs.

“David.” Patrick offered up a weak protest.

David patted the couch again. “Come on, Patrick.”

Patrick set his whiskey down again and moved. Pressed his back against David’s front. Felt David’s arms wrap around him. Felt David breathe deeply behind him.

Patrick took a deep breath with David. Slowly exhaled.

“Now...talk.” David said in his ear.

Patrick let his head roll back, resting against David. “Terri said that she thought I’d have trouble… seeing someone else... Ummm… raise…raise your child.”

“I see.” David maintained a level voice while his face reacted without Patrick being able to witness it. “Would you…ummm…would you say that Terri was _accurate_ in her assessment?”

Patrick hesitated only slightly before whispering, “Yes.”

He turned his head. Turned so that the side of his forehead leaned against David’s cheek.

“M’Kaaayyy. Might you be able to… _expand…_ on that answer?” David tightened his arms around Patrick’s chest.

“Just that…I mean…if there was a little…a child out there… that was part you…I…I would….I would want them… to be in my life.” Patrick said quietly.

David flattened his hand and rubbed it over Patrick’s chest. Comforting him.

“Terri and Amy are part of your life. You’d see the kid…”

Patrick immediately began to shake his head.

“You mean…” David said quietly in Patrick’s ear, “If there was a child out there that came from me, you’d want to raise it.”

Patrick did not hesitate to nod his head. Confirming what David said to be a true statement.

“Even though you know I have no strong desire to have kids.” David clarified.

Patrick reached down deep. This was the time to tell David what he wanted. “I do…have…David…I do have a desire… a _strong_ … desire to have kids.”

“I know, Patrick.” David whispered. He kissed Patrick on the temple.

They sat quietly. Listening to the music in the other room. David’s hand rubbing circles on Patrick’s chest Patrick’s hands rubbing back and forth on David’s thighs.

“And Terri?” David asked. “She felt so strongly to protect you that she fought… with Amy?”

“Yes.” Patrick nodded his head.

“They almost broke up over it, Patrick.”

“I know.” Patrick said quietly. His hands squeezed David’s thighs.

“That was six months ago… or more. We were barely…”

“I know. Terri just … she said she didn’t want it to be something that came between us. Even though we weren’t… yet… I mean...” Patrick faltered, trying to find the words.

“I know what you’re saying.” David relieved him from trying.

Patrick was calmer. He rested his head against David. He sighed at the comforting feel of David’s hands pressed solidly against his chest.

“David?”

“Hmmm?”

“What would you have said? Had Amy asked.” Patrick would regret it if he didn’t ask.

“I’d have told her I was honored she wanted me to help …but I would have declined.” David told him.

David’s answer came as a surprise to Patrick. His brows furrowed as he asked, “Why?”

David kissed Patrick’s cheek. “For the same reason Terri didn’t want her to ask.”

The corners of Patrick’s mouth pulled back in a small grin. He raised his arm and settled his hand slightly behind him on David’s cheek. His thumb rubbed lightly over David’s stubble. He shut his eyes and relaxed his body into David’s embrace. “I love you, David Rose.” 

++++++

David’s dad stood in the doorway of the bedroom. “Good night, boys.” He said with a smile. He turned to go to his own bedroom and then a thought crossed his mind and he turned back to them. He pointed at one and then the other. “No hanky-panky in here. Agreed?”

David stifled a grin. “M’Kay. Just a reminder, we are in twin beds here.” He shot a glance over at Patrick, who was sitting in the other bed, his blue-striped pajama set on. Blushing from his neck up.

“Absolutely, Mr. Rose.” Patrick nodded, as serious as a scared young man talking to his date’s parent on prom night.

“I’ll see you two in the morning. We’ll have brunch.” David’s dad disappeared behind his door, shutting it firmly between them. 

“David. Does he think we’re gonna…?” Patrick made the sign. Palm smacking the end of his fist.

“Ohhh… _we’re gonna_ …” David nodded and smiled wryly and smacked the palm of one of his hands against the fist he made with the other.

“No. No we’re not.” Patrick laid down in the bed usually occupied by Alexis and pulled the covers up to his chin. “House rules.”

“Listen to me. I’ve seen … _with my own eyes_ … what happens in _that room_? And we’ve never done anything _that bad_. We can do what we want over here.” David said. He pulled the magazine out from under his pillow and flipped to the quiz. “Now, I have another question for you to answer on this quiz.”

“Are you still taking that?”

“I’m working through some issues with it.” David confirmed. “Now… let me find it. OK here it is.”

“David.” Patrick protested.

“Just… Patrick.” David said, exasperated.

“OK. OK.” Patrick rolled to his side, facing David.

“Which song sums up our sex life?” David read the question.

Patrick leaned up on an elbow. Propped his head on his hand. “Well…let’s see…”

“No. Patrick. There’s a list we have to choose from.”

“Oh.” Patrick grinned and waited.

David began. “OK. Which song sums up our sex life? A – Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch…”

“What? I don’t know that song.”

“Yes. You do, Patrick. You just don’t _know_ that you know that song.” David disagreed with him.

“Seriously. I don’t. Who is Marky Mark?”

David looked over the magazine. “Mark Wahlberg.”

“The actor?”

“Yeah. This magazine is from _1991_ , Patrick. He was…not an actor, yet.”

“David. I was like 4 years old.” Patrick shook his head.

“I wasn’t much older, _thankyouverymuch_. Didn’t your parents listen to…? Never mind.” David waved his hand as if to erase what he was about to say.

“Yeah. No. Marcy and Clint did not listen to Marky Mark and the … _who-ever-they-are_.”

“Funky Bunch.” David added for him.

“Yeah. OK. What are the other options?” Patrick asked, settling back down on his pillow.

“OK. So…” David started over. “Which song sums up our sex life? A – Good Vibrations by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. B – I Wanna Sex You Up by Color Me Badd.”

“Oh god.”

“Patrick.”

“Sorry. Continue.” Patrick stifled a laugh.

“C – Something to Talk About by Bonnie Raitt. Or D – When a Man Loves a Woman by Michael Bolton.”

Patrick didn’t hide the broad, toothy smile that covered his face.

David looked at him and shook his head. “ _Whhhat_.”

“I don’t even know where to start with that list.” Patrick laughed.

David laid the magazine in his lap. “Let’s start with knowing the songs.”

“Really? This quiz means _that_ much to you?”

“I need to know our answer, Patrick.” David said seriously.

Patrick sat up. He could tell David was concerned about the quiz. “Look up the songs. Let’s listen to them.”

David picked up his phone and searched for the Marky Mark song. Patrick moved to David’s bed. David moved over to make room. They leaned against the headboard. David held his phone on his knee and they watched the [Good Vibrations video from 1991.](https://youtu.be/Zjk4CCVxWZM)

“OK. Now, _that’s_ a chest.” Patrick said immediately, pointing at the video playing on David’s phone.

“Mmmhmm.”

Patrick tilted his head and stifled a grin. “Wait…is he holding a cane?”

“I think the rappers did that back in the early days.” David said, knowingly.

“He’s not very good at … I mean… I guess he looks good.” Patrick said.

“Listen to the words, Patrick. That’s what the question is about.” David refocused the conversation.

“What are these blinds?” Patrick asked.

“The words, Patrick.”

“Why is this about boxing? Isn’t this about sex?” Patrick asked.

“Patrick.”

“Oh… I’ve sat on you like that.” Patrick smiled and pointed again at the video.

David nudged him with a grin. “Yes… you have. But, the words, Patrick. We’re listening to the words.”

Patrick listened for a moment then said, “I guess we’ve had some good vibrations. But there’s not a lot else to the song.”

“This isn’t supposed to be a judgement of the song. The question is what song best fits our sex life.” David reiterated.

“What’s the other song?” Patrick asked. He reached for the magazine, but David swatted his hand away.

“I Wanna Sex You Up, by Color Me Badd.” David told him.

“Look up that one.” Patrick said.

David searched for the song.

Patrick watched him type in the words. “Seriously? It’s _Wanna_. Not Want to?”

“What do you want?” David held his hands up in front of himself as if to say he’d all but given up on having patience with his boyfriend. “It was the 90s. The title also has the words ‘Sex You Up,’ do you _not_ take exception to _that_?”

“I take exception to _all of it_ , David. But let’s hear it anyway.” Patrick said.

“[OK. Here.” David pressed play](https://youtu.be/Oxu3pq319r0). 

Less than 45 seconds in Patrick shook his head. “No. No no. This is just…”

“Listen to the words. Ignore the atrocious clothing. Hair, and general smarminess.” David directed.

“Seriously. What is the deal with the blinds? There are blinds in this one, too? Did all videos in the 90s look through blinds?”

“The words, Sweetie. Just listen to them.”

Patrick began to laugh. “That dance move... OMG, David.” Patrick jumped out of bed, spread his legs, hips’ width apart, waved a hand in the air and sang, “I wannnnna sex you up!” and bucked his hips forward twice on the “Sex _You Up_ ” part.

Just then David’s dad opened the door to the bedroom. “Boys…” And when he witnessed Patrick’s gyrations, he raised an eyebrow. “Hey there. I thought we agreed… no hanky-panky.”

Patrick immediately turned to look at David’s dad. “Sorry, Mr. Rose.”

“Dad, we were just looking at some old music videos. Don’t worry, with _this_ music as a back drop we aren’t going to do anything.” David held back a grin.

“See that you don’t.” David’s dad pointed at Patrick and made eye contact with him. Then he pointed at David who rolled his eyes at his dad. David made a hand motion toward his dad, as if to shoo him away.

Mr. Rose pulled the door shut behind him and Patrick sat back down on Alexis’s bed.

“Get back over here. We have to finish this video.” David patted his bed.

“No. I don’t want to upset him.” Patrick said.

“Patrick.” David patted the bed again. Patrick moved back beside him. David hit play.

“Did he just say ‘Making love until we drown?’” Patrick asked

“Mmm. I think so.”

“That guy is going to get a blow job. I like those.” Patrick smiled.

“The words Patrick.”

“OK… well… I guess this song is closer to us than the vibrations one. What are the other choices?”

“C – Something to Talk About by Bonnie Raitt. Or D – When a Man Loves a Woman by Michael Bolton.”

Patrick pulled his bottom lip into his mouth as though he were giving it a lot of thought. “I don’t think we’re C. That one is about not being together but people thinking you are. Right?”

“I guess?” David shook his head.

“Maybe it’s D?”

“Patrick.”

“Seriously. I use to sing that sometimes at open mic night. Listen to it.”

[David searched for the video and played it.](https://youtu.be/MUuNDb-nm5M)

Patrick sang quietly to the song. He turned toward David and tucked his face into David’s neck. Kissed him.

David set his phone down on the bed and turned toward Patrick. He loved when Patrick sang to him.

The words came out quietly, so as not to get the attention of David’s dad in the next room. Patrick knew every word. His hand roamed over David’s chest as he sang. They made eye contact until David couldn’t take it and he shifted his gaze over Patrick’s shoulder. David’s hands smoothed the back of Patrick’s pajama shirt.

When the song ended Patrick initiated a kiss. David’s hand petted Patrick’s head and pulled him in for a deeper connection.

Patrick’s hand moved down and brushed against David’s crotch.

David’s hand tucked under Patrick’s shirt and worked its way into the waistband of his pajamas.

“David, what time will we… hey… hey boys!” David’s dad stood in the doorway of the bedroom.

“Oh… _m’god_ …” David’s head rolled back and he mumbled to himself.

Patrick jumped up out of bed and realized his thin pajamas did little to hide his arousal. He jumped into Alexis’s bed and pulled the covers up to his chest. “Sorry. Sorry, Mr. Rose.” Patrick mumbled.

“We’ll plan to leave here at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning. Good with you two?” Mr. Rose asked them.

“Yes, Sir.” Patrick said, seriously.

David shot Patrick a look.

Patrick’s large eyes met David’s.

Then David said to his dad, “That’s fine, dad. Now… please… don’t…”

“I won’t come back in. But… seriously…” Mr. Rose pointed at first to David and then to Patrick, “Be safe.” Then he pulled the door shut behind him again.

The two men sat silently in their beds for a moment.

A look of disgust mixed with annoyance crossed David’s face as he muttered, “M’Kay. I don’t know that I’m ever going to want to hear you say ‘Yes, Sir’ again.”

“Noted.” Patrick hung his head.

David reached up and turned out the light.

The room was dark. And quiet.

“So what song are we going with then?” David asked into the darkness. He waited for Patrick to respond. He did not.

“Patrick?”

“Yeah?”

“You OK?”

“Yeah.”

“What song are we going with?” David asked again

And then David was startled as he felt his covers being pulled back. Felt Patrick get in bed with him. David moved over to make room. When he ran his hand down Patrick’s body and found that he was no longer wearing his pajamas, David grinned with delight.

“Ohhhh… I think I’m _gonna sex you up,_ David.” Patrick teased. He rolled so that half his body weight was on top of David.

“Oh!” David’s voice showed his excitement. He shifted so that his legs spread and Patrick moved between them.

“Yeah… you are gonna love these _Good Vibrations_.” Patrick said. He rocked his hip against David’s.

“Patrick.” David realized Patrick was teasing him.

“Your dad keeps coming in here… let’s give him something to talk about.”

“Damnit Patrick. I need you to take this quiz seriously.”

Patrick began to kiss David. First on his neck. Along his jaw line. Then he lightly brushed his lips over David’s.

“I know the whole gender thing doesn’t fit us... And… maybe it’s because I know that song best? But…”

“You’re going with D – When a Man Loves a Woman.” David said.

“I am.” Patrick breathed into his ear.

“That’s just all kinds of wrong.” David smiled at the tingles that went down his spine.

“Can’t keep his mind on nothing else.” Patrick cooed to him. Kissed him. Slid his hand under David’s t-shirt.

“It’s just…Patrick… that one has such a low voltage score…” David tried to care. 

“Spend his very last dime… trying to hold on to what he needs…He’d give up all his comforts… sleep out in the rain…” Patrick pushed David’s shirt up over his head. Nuzzled his cheek against David’s chest while he sang quietly. 

“Mr. Brewer.” David grinned, his hand petted Patrick’s hair.

“Tryin’ to hold on… to your precious love… baby... please don’t treat me bad.” Patrick sang more to him as his hand worked its way into David’s pants.

“M’Kay. It’s not _that_ wrong.” David tilted his head to the side to give Patrick access to that spot… _yes… that one. Right there_.

David’s knees pulled up and wrapped around Patrick in that automatic way they do when he has Patrick right where he wants him.

++


	3. In Need of a Generator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having spent less private time with Patrick and more of his time with his dad and sister, David's mind is not in a good place. He recently took a quiz in an old magazine and the negative results have his brain doubting the stability of his relationship. He gets Patrick to agree to go on an "Adventure Date" with Ted and Alexis under the ruse of helping them save their relationship. When Patrick finds out Ted and Alexis are fine, he encourages David to talk. And when David starts to talk, the discussion becomes difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place before, during, and after 5.01 (The Crowening). 
> 
> ++
> 
> My own take on what I think may have happened between David and Patrick around the scenes of 5.01. 
> 
> It wouldn't be LOL if David and Patrick didn't talk... a lot. *Winking face emoji* 
> 
> I tend to believe that long-term relationships eventually have conversations like the one David and Patrick have in this chapter. For many, it happens much later in the relationship, I think. But, because this episode happened when it did, I had my David and Patrick have this conversation now.
> 
> For readers who haven't read my past work, I would like to say that in my work I try to stick close to canon regarding the D/P relationship - in that I'm not going to have them break up if they don't break up on the show. So, nobody panic. Everyone lands softly. *Blue heart emoji* *Black heart emoji*
> 
> ++  
> I enjoy a particular Instagram account called Schittssheets. It is pure gold and full of data and recurring themes of the show. The creator must spend as much time with the episodes as many of us authors in AO3 do. It is quite impressive how they tie various connections from episodes of different seasons. I have great respect for the work put into that account. I couldn't help but think of that page's creator as my Patrick became excited about his spreadsheets and data analysis in this chapter. 
> 
> And, while writing that scene, I couldn't help but think of my friends in the Rosebudd's "Bedeviled-with-meetings-etc" channel, where bullet lists and passion planners abound. I have no doubt that my David would love the colored pens, stickers, and original planners shared there. 
> 
> So for these two types of processing and planning - I dedicate this chapter. Because it takes both kinds of brains to make our favorite couple work. And I'm so glad we have both types of people in this fandom. 
> 
> *Face blowing a kiss emoji*
> 
> ++
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> ++

++++++

He was in bed having his nightly text with David when his door flew open. Ray opened it, mid-knock, while verbalizing “Knock! Knock! Patrick!”

Patrick, sitting up with the covers up around his waist, looked at Ray wide-eyed. “What’s up, Ray?”

“Hi Patrick. I wanted to remind you about the contracts I’ll need next week. Will you be able to work on those for Monday?” Ray asked.

“Sure will. I’ll have them for you on Sunday.” Patrick said. He made a mental note.

“And then we have Bob’s renewal license next week.” Ray said.

“Yup. On my calendar.” Patrick’s phone vibrated in his hand.

“Is it still OK that you’re doing these for me?” Ray asked.

“Sure is, Ray. I don’t mind at all. Gives me something to do in the evenings.” Ever since David had been staying at the motel more in the evenings to be near his dad and Alexis while his mom was away working on the movie, Patrick had more time on his hands.

“Busy time of year. Tax season is just around the corner!” Ray said cheerfully. He leaned against the doorframe. Not appearing to be in a hurry to leave.

“Sure is.” Patrick nodded. His phone vibrated again in his hand. David was trying to get his attention.

“Someone is persistent.” Ray said in a cheerful voice and pointed at Patrick’s phone.

“Yeah. David and I are… talking.” Patrick tried to be subtle.

“Oh! That’s so nice. Isn’t technology wonderful?” Ray asked.

“Sure is. Hey… Ray? Are we done here?”

“I’ll let you get back to it.” Ray said with a smile. He pointed at Patrick.  
  
“Thanks Ray. Good night.”

“Good night. Patrick… Oh, and…Door opened? Door closed?”

“Door closed, Ray.” Patrick nodded. “ _Always closed_.”

++++++

_Hottie I have sex with (9:32 pm):_

‘I think that would be fine’

‘What will we do after?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:33 pm):_

‘Patrick’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:33 pm):_

‘All call for Patrick Brewer’

‘Hello??? is this thing on?’ *Microphone emoji* *Left pointing backhand emoji*

_Hottie I have sex with (9:34 pm):_

‘Patrick’

‘PAY ATTENTION TO ME! I NEED YOUR ATTENTION!’

*Person waving emoji*

_You (9:34 pm):_

‘I’m here. Calm down.’

‘Ray stopped in.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:35 pm):_

‘More work for you?’

_You (9:35 pm):_

‘Yup’

‘So you were saying it’s OK if we do merchandising day tomorrow rather than Saturday?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:35 pm):_

‘Whatever you’d like’

_You (9:35 pm):_

‘If we finish tomorrow, then we can cut out Saturday afternoon and hit the matinee.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:36 pm):_

‘The matinee?’

_You (9:36 pm):_

‘Gets us home earlier.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:36 pm):_

‘K’

_You (9:36 pm):_

‘OK!’ *Red heart emoji* *Movie camera emoji* *Popcorn emoji* *Cup with straw emoji*

Patrick was feeling silly and overusing emojis, assuming David would enjoy it. David’s shortened response flew right past him. He assumed all was well.

David, on the other hand was not thrilled with the idea that Patrick was shifting their Saturday night date night to an afternoon matinee. And he was not thrilled that Patrick didn’t understand that a simple “K” meant that things were _definitely not_ OK.

_You (9:37 pm):_

‘You there? You OK?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:37 pm):_

‘I’m fine.’

_You (9:37 pm):_

‘Everything OK over there? Your dad?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:37 pm):_

‘Fine.’

_You (9:37 pm):_

‘I’m exciting about MERCHANDISING DAY!!!’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:38 pm):_

‘K’

_You (9:38 pm):_

‘Are you excited about it?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:38 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

‘I’m not even sure what it means.’

_You (9:38 pm):_

‘Why didn’t you ask me?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:38 pm):_

‘Because I don’t care.’

‘I’ll do whatever it is you want me to do when I get there.’

_You (9:39 pm):_

‘Babe? Are you OK?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:39 pm):_

‘You’ve asked me that and I told you I’m fine.’

_You (9:39 pm):_

*Thumbs up emoji*

Patrick put his phone down. He didn’t want to force David into texting when he was in one of his moods. He went to the bathroom. Turned off his light. Got into bed, ready to go to sleep.

His phone vibrated.

_Hottie I have sex with (9:44 pm):_

‘OK Patrick. Explain it to me.’

Patrick excitedly started to type information into his phone.

_You (9:44 pm):_

‘We do inventory - run a total of everything we have in stock.’

‘We look at what the sales were like for that product in the past six months.’

‘We project what we want to do with that particular item in the coming six months.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:44 pm):_

‘Then we use that information to talk to the vendors.’

_You (9:45 pm):_

‘Exactly.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:45 pm):_

‘I do that with my weekly calls.’

‘I literally do that every week, Patrick.’

_You (9:45 pm):_

‘Yes. But this is a true data analysis.’

‘There will be a spreadsheet.’

‘And graphs.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:45 pm):_

‘I keep track in my journal’

‘I make graphs’

_You (9:45 pm):_

‘You can’t run data analysis with a bullet journal list, David.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:46 pm):_

‘No. YOU can’t run data analysis with a bullet journal list, Patrick.’

‘I can.’

‘You’re just looking for an excuse to make a spreadsheet.’

_You (9:46 pm):_

‘I don’t NEED an excuse to make a spreadsheet, David.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:46 pm):_

‘K’

_You (9:46 pm):_

‘Remember what we agreed our roles would be in the partnership agreement?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:46 pm):_

‘I would make the creative decisions for the store and you’d handle all the business stuff.’

_You (9:46 pm):_

‘If you want to do the projections based off your notes, you can.’

‘I need the data analysis to do the projections I can trust.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:47 pm):_

‘I know. It’s fine. Make the spreadsheet.’

_You (9:47 pm):_

‘Are you mad at me?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:47 pm):_

‘I’m fine.’

_You (9:47 pm):_

‘That’s not what I asked you.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:47 pm):_

‘TBH’

‘I’m not really thrilled with everything right now.’

_You (9:48 pm):_

‘Want me to call you?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:48 pm):_

‘No. Alexis is asleep and she’ll be angry if I am talking.’

_You (9:48 pm):_

‘Babe. Tell me why you’re not OK.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:48 pm):_

‘I don’t really want to.’

_You (9:48 pm):_

‘Did I do something wrong?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:49 pm):_

‘I think maybe I just miss you.’

_You (9:49 pm):_

‘I miss you too.’

‘I can stay at your place tomorrow. Assuming it’s Alexis’s night to stay with Ted.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:49 pm):_

‘It is.’

_You (9:49 pm):_

‘Then Saturday night, you’ll be here.’

‘Put your headphones on and listen to music and go to sleep.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:50 pm):_

‘Remember when you use to call me and sing me to sleep?’

_You (9:50 pm):_

‘Do you want me to call you and sing you to sleep?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:50 pm):_

‘No. I’ll just listen to Patrick from 9 months ago do that.’

_You (9:50 pm):_

‘David. I’m not going to text you through a pout.’

‘Good night. I love you.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:50 pm):_

“I can pout if I want to.’

‘See you tomorrow.’

Patrick didn’t respond.

David lay in his bed. Frustrated. Annoyed. He gave up, sighed, and picked up his phone.

_Hottie I have sex with (9:52 pm):_

‘For MERCHANDISING DAY and SPREADSHEETS.’

_You (9:52 pm):_

*GIF of KIP from Napoleon Dynamite pulling his fist down saying ‘Yes!’*

++++++

David turned on the music after he adjusted his headphones and lay back on his pillow. He shut his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest as he listened to Patrick singing about it being a quarter after one and he needed David…. _Now_.

David thought about that time. That time in their relationship when they were essentially broken up for a week. Patrick begged him daily – through songs, gifts, and notes – to come back to him. He wondered to himself if it was wrong to think longingly of that time when Patrick was miserable without him.

He knew he was being snippy with Patrick. He was frustrated that they didn’t have more time together. David was already annoyed that he had committed to spending extra time at the motel. He and Alexis were arguing with each other. She, surely, was feeling some of the same loss he was feeling. Their dad was _exhausting_. But he needed his children and both of them had made the commitment to be there for him. 

David just didn’t understand why Patrick would want to take their Saturday night date night and move it to the afternoon. David wanted to go out. Dinner. Dancing. A night on the town with his boyfriend. Let loose. Get drunk. Make out on a crowded dance floor. And then he wanted to go back to Patrick’s place and do things with him. Dirty things. Things that would make his thick, spread-sheet-loving, serious, buttoned up boyfriend blush.

But it seemed that Patrick was only excited about one thing. Merchandising Day.

David tapped the screen on his phone to replay Patrick singing the song.

_Wishing you'd come sweepin' in the way you did before_

And then he replayed it again. And again. And he continued to replay it until he fell to sleep. Listening to Patrick’s voice.

++++++

“Mmmm. Eat glass!” He said to Alexis before he stomped out of the room.

He was annoyed. He was angry.

As he walked to town his mind was racing.

_We need a generator. We need a fucking generator. And they… they got the fucking electrical storm? What the actual fuck._

David had taken the quiz no less than three times and every time he wound up with the same score that said he and Patrick needed a generator. Well. If he were honest, one time he did get a _total power failure,_ but he quickly changed those answers. No matter what combination of answers he chose, he could not get their score above needing a generator.

It was true. For the last… he didn’t know how long… they had sex less often. And when they had it, it was mostly the same old thing. Quiet and rather quick, because they never knew when they were going to be interrupted by Ray… and, more recently, David’s dad.

And with them spending the night together less often, they had resorted to moments of fellatio in the back office or in the car. Nothing racy. Nothing … hot. Just…getting the _job_ done. In fact, as he thought about it, he wasn’t sure when he last needed to change the sheet on the couch in the office at the store.

David didn’t know what to do. He had never been in a relationship that lasted this long and he didn’t know if this was a normal thing or if this…slump…meant that their relationship was doomed. Maybe Alexis was right… maybe they did need a date to mix things up. An… _adventure date_. Whatever _the fuck_ that was.

He wasn’t sure he’d be able to talk Patrick into leaving the store early. Doing so broke Patrick’s cardinal rule about operating the store. Never mess with the hours of operation if you want to build a strong customer base.

Maybe if David made his request to close early about someone other than the two of them...

 _Alexis._ That would do it. Patrick was always willing to go out of his way to make Alexis happy. David thought as he stomped angrily toward the store. _Lately, he won’t go out of his way for me. But he’ll fucking go out of his way for her._

David stopped before he crossed the street. He stood with one hand on his hip as he looked at the Apothecary.

He took a deep breath. He exhaled slowly.

_God, I love this store._

He spotted Patrick through the window, leaning over the counter. Concentrating on something. Probably, paperwork.

_God, I love this man._

His stomach twisted in a knot. _I need to save this relationship_ , he thought to himself as he marched across the street.

_I’ve got to find us a generator._

++++++

Patrick worked to wrap his head around their schedule change. After David told Patrick about Alexis and Ted not doing well… _what does ‘In need of a generator’ even mean?..._ Patrick tried to get a good portion of the work done before they cut out early.

If he were being honest, he’d tell you he was disappointed. Not just because he was looking forward to finally tracking all the inventory and setting goals for their second year of business. He was also disappointed that their Saturday would now become a full work day.

Saturday afternoon when they closed early had become their day to spend together. The only time in his week he didn’t have to share David with someone else. Sometimes they did nothing. Sometimes they hung out and saw a late movie. Or went to dinner and then to a bar to dance. Or they explored a museum in a neighboring town.

This weekend, Patrick had looked forward to an early movie so that he and David could go home and … _reconnect_. They needed it. It felt to Patrick like it had been forever since they’d… _connected_.

Ray was scheduled to be away for a realtor’s conference and they’d have the house to themselves. Patrick hadn’t told David. He had planned on it being a surprise.  
  
Patrick thought of the last time they had the house to themselves. He used his belt. He bound David to the bed. He did things to him. Patrick had planned to do the same on Saturday.

He sighed. _Plans change, Brewer._ _Just roll with it._ He told himself. _Alexis needs us. Her relationship is probably suffering just like ours._

He worried for Alexis and Ted. Their relationship was newer, not as strong as his and David’s. And…to hear David tell it, Alexis already put Ted through some difficult paces in the past. Ted might not have the patience it takes to go the distance with her. Because… if he were being honest…Patrick would tell you it takes some patience to be in a relationship with a member of the Rose family.

Yes. Of course, Patrick would put his worry about the store and his own sexual needs on hold to help David’s sister. _Always._

++++++

They closed up shop at noon. They drove to Patrick’s house and he ran in to grab his hiking shoes. David sat in the car and held in his cringe as Patrick walked from the house in them. He forced himself to smile at Patrick. Forced himself to ignore the fucking shoes.

Patrick suggested to David that _he_ might want to change clothes.

“Why? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing? It’s comfortable.” David argued

“Nothing’s wrong with it, David. Your… _sweatshirt?..._ looks comfortable. It’s just…there’s a lot of… fabric… there…and if we end up hiking… it might get caught on a branch or something.” Patrick said and then added, “It might not be safe.”

He tried to choose his words carefully so as not to upset David.

Patrick was not successful.

“You don’t like the way I dress?” David challenged him. He realized he was purposefully arguing. But that didn’t stop him.

“David. I love the way you dress. You know that.” Patrick sighed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Patrick. God. Just… stop at the motel.” David told him.

++++++

They decided to have lunch at Elm Falls before they met Ted and Alexis. David chose a local eatery. When they arrived, Patrick held the door for him. He kept his eyes on David as they made their way to the table. 

They both were quiet. David deep in thought. _In need of a fucking generator. Fucking quiz._

Patrick nudged David’s foot with his own under the table. “I think the change in clothes is a wise choice. This way if we decide to sit on a rock and take in the scenery you won’t ruin your nice jeans.”

David rolled his eyes. “You’re wearing your jeans though…so…”

“David is there something wrong?” Patrick asked him.

“No.” David shook his head. “Just tired. And… maybe worried…. you know… _about Alexis_.”

“Oh.” Patrick said quietly. Looking at David. Taking in the contortions of his face. His slumped shoulders. He knew David well enough to know that he may sometimes worry about Alexis, but he never worried _this much_ about her. This was about something else. “Well… when you figure out what we need to do…”

“ _THIS_.” David said with a little too much stress in his voice as he moved his hand in a circle over the table between them. “This today. This is what we need to do.”

“All right, David.” Patrick said quietly. “Anything we need to do…to make it better… we’ll do it.”

They ate the rest of their meal in silence.

++++++

Patrick pulled into the parking lot of the park. The coordinates that Ted had texted him. His eyes grew large as he looked at the trees in front of them. A system of ropes hung like lattice work on the trees to the south of them. In the trees to the east of them hung a series of logs and wires.

“David!” Patrick said excitedly. “You didn’t tell me this was a….”

“What. The. Actual. _Fuck_.” David declared angrily, talking over him. “What the fuck is this?” He pulled off his sunglasses and looked up into the trees.

“David, this looks fun!” Patrick got out of the car. He began to unbutton his blue shirt.

David got out of the car, slammed his door, and looked at Patrick. “What are you doing?”

“I can’t do _that_ with this shirt on. I’ll just wear my t-shirt.” Patrick said.

“Can you do it in those jeans?” David rounded the car and stood by Patrick.

“Sure!”

“They aren’t too tight?” David asked him, not for the first time in their relationship.

Patrick looked down at himself and up at David. He turned his back to David and ran his hand over his own round ass and offered him a rakish smile. “Do you think my jeans are too tight, David?”

David eyes softened and he smiled at him. David answered him the way he always did when Patrick asked him that question. “No, Sweetie. I do not think your jeans are too tight.”

“Come here.” Patrick said in a low voice. He pulled David close. He kissed him softly, his lips softly brushed over David’s.

David, stiff with irritation at the thought of what activities may lie ahead, began to relax at the feeling of Patrick’s lips on his. The feeling of Patrick’s hand on his lower back. The feeling of Patrick moving his lips from David’s as they grazed his cheek. Kissed him on his neck.

“It’s going to be OK, David.” Patrick murmured into his ear. His hand tucked under the back of David’s sweatshirt and the palm of his warm, strong hand pressed into David’s lower back. “We’ll help Alexis. Just take a breath. It’s all going to be OK. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

“There you are Guys!” They heard Ted’s voice say from behind them. “We’re really excited you are _branching_ out and joining us! We need to go in there to rent some climbing gear before we _leaf_ for the adventure.”

“Oh m’god.” David rolled his head back. “What _the fuck_ have I gotten us into?”

Patrick kissed him on the cheek. Patted his ass. And then he turned away and joined Ted.

Ted and Patrick led the way with Alexis and David trailing behind them. Alexis tapping on David’s arm. David swatting her hand away. 

++++++

Before handing over his debit card, Patrick turned to David. “David. Are you sure? We don’t have to do this.”

“Yes.” David nodded his head without hesitating. _We need a fucking generator!!_ He wanted to shout. He was going to single-handedly rejuvenate their relationship if it killed him.

“We can just … watch… or…” Patrick knew David. Knew he hated this sort of thing. He wanted to give him an out. But he also knew that David seemed _determined_ to help his sister.

“Patrick. Just pay the man.” David said curtly.

++++++

He watched David, dangling out there. Blue helmet on his head. Harness around his body. Hanging on to that board. Standing on that log. 30 feet in the air. Every single thing about this activity was _not_ David.

_Why would David agree to do this?_

Patrick finally voiced his concern to Alexis.

The whole madness unfolded in front of him.

Patrick couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Sure. He knew about the quiz. Had helped answer some of the questions. But he thought it was just something silly to pass the time. Something to do because David was bored at the motel.

_A generator? We aren’t in need of a generator! Why are we doing this?_

They talked him in. Alexis and Patrick. Talked with David and got him off the log and onto the stand.

He pulled David into his arms. 

“We’re gonna talk about the fact that we missed half a day of work to make this happen? But you did just do a tree walk 30 feet in the air for us.”

Kissed him. Hugged him. Patted his back.

And then Patrick stayed right with him. Stood by him. Cheered him on. Coaxed him when he struggled. Through the remaining 7 ropes courses.

++++++

Patrick sat in the car and watched David and Alexis who stood outside, talking. He grinned as he watched the stomping of feet. The flailing of hands. The tossing of hair. The raised eyebrows. He looked at the car next to his, where Ted sat in the driver’s seat taking in the same scene. Ted looked at Patrick and shrugged his shoulders as if to say, “This is our life, now.”

Patrick smiled and nodded.

David got into the car. “We’re spending the night at your place.” He said quietly.

“Oh?” Patrick put the car in gear.

“She owes me after this… _shenanigans_. She’s taking Dad tonight _and_ tomorrow night.” David said.

“That’s a pretty big deal.” Patrick said.

“Is it?” David said with a mouth full of snark.

David was quiet for the rest of the drive. As they neared town, Patrick asked if they needed to stop at the motel, David said they did. “I need to pack a quick bag. I don’t have any moisturizer at your place.”

++++++

When they arrived at Patrick’s, David declared, “I’m going to go put my bag upstairs. Maybe shower off our _adventure date_.” Without waiting for a response from Patrick, he headed up the stairs.

The day had been a lot. Sure, David had been successful in making it through all 8 courses at the park. He knew he should focus on _that_.

But he didn’t.

David was embarrassed. Frustrated. Of course, the quiz was ridiculous. But if he were being honest, there were still some bothersome things that needed to be addressed. He didn’t want to address them. He just…wanted them to go away.

He took his time in the shower. Thought through the day. Thought through the past few weeks. Thought through what he wanted to say to Patrick.

He prepped himself. Always be prepared. Just in case. Hopeful that the night would end well. He wanted Patrick to give him a proper fucking.

Then he went to Patrick’s room to wait for him.

++++++

Patrick went into the kitchen, pulled a beer from the refrigerator, and headed to his desk. Losing his mind in work would be a comfort from the day he just experienced. He pulled out a file and started proof reading a contract for Ray.

He sat forward in his chair, hunched over the paperwork and, red pen in hand, started editing. Before long, he’d finished. David still not downstairs, Patrick pulled another file out and began to organize the paperwork for a renewal license. Filled out the documents. Task completed, he pulled the next file out and sorted the receipts for Ray’s photography business; preparing them for tax season.

“So… you’re just… _working_?” David stood at the bottom of the stairs. “It’s Friday night, and we just got back from … _that experience_ … and you’re sitting there _working_?”

Patrick looked up at him. “Killing time until you came back down stairs.” He said quietly.

“I was _up there_ waiting for you.” David said, finger pointing up the stairs. He chose to not hide the irritation in his voice.

“I’m sorry.” Patrick said.

“Are you?” David’s head cocked to the side. His eye squinted.

“Yeah…” Patrick quickly put the documents back in their file and tucked them into his desk drawer. “Ummm. I’m sorry David. I’m done.”

“Can I make a sandwich? I’m hungry.” David walked toward the kitchen. Patrick followed him.  
  
“Sure. We can have sandwiches if you want. I… um…I ordered pizza. Should be here in about ten minutes.”

David turned on his heels and looked at Patrick. He sighed. “You ordered pizza.”

“I did.” Patrick jammed his hands in his pockets.

“Without talking with me?” David knew he was being ridiculously harsh with Patrick. But he couldn’t seem to stop himself. 

“I did.” Patrick furrowed his brow as he took in David’s frustration.

“What kind?” David’s voice had an air of challenge.

“The one you like.” Patrick’s voice remained calm.

“You did?” David’s voice softened.

“Yeah. I … I guess I figured you’d had enough of a day and pizza might be easy. But… if you’d rather a sandwich we can do that. I’ll make them. You sit.”

“No. No, no. Patrick.” David took a step closer to him and ran a hand over his shoulder. Down his arm. “Thank you.”

“David. Babe.” Patrick put a hand on David’s cheek. “What’s… what’s bothering you?”

David pulled Patrick close. Wrapped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders. He said nothing. He just held him. One arm wrapped tighter around Patrick’s shoulder. The other rubbed circles in the space between Patrick’s shoulder blades. David’s wordless request to be comforted. Touched. Rubbed.

Patrick wrapped his arms around David’s waist and kissed his neck. Tucked his hand up inside the back of David’s t-shirt. Rubbed his hand on David’s lower back. Held on to David for as long as David wanted to be held. Comforting him. They stood there, just outside the kitchen, holding one another.

Patrick knew. He knew that something was bothering David and they were going to have to get to the bottom of it. He had assumed they’d worked through it up in the trees. But, clearly, they had not.

David knew. He knew Patrick well enough to know that since David showed him this kink in his armor that Patrick would want a truth-telling moment. He was going to have to talk about it… sooner or later. So, he held on to Patrick. Held him tightly. Because as long as they were hugging, and waiting for the pizza to arrive, they wouldn’t delve into what was likely to be an emotional conversation.

A knock at the door disrupted their peaceful moment. Patrick turned toward the door. David went to the kitchen.

++++++

They sat across from one another at the kitchen table. Most of the pizza was gone. A few empty beer bottles on the table.

Patrick leaned back in his chair. He looked at David.

David put his hands in his lap. His left hand worrying the rings on his right. He cocked his head to the side and his lips slightly curled into a wry smile.

“Why did you think we needed a generator?” Patrick asked. His voice serious. Low. Calm.

David shook his head, raised his chin. Rolled his eyes. “It was just a stupid quiz. I’m fine.”

“No. No, David. I don’t buy that.”

“Patrick, you heard some of the questions. They were ridiculous.”

“David. If you thought the quiz was so completely ridiculous you never would have worried about it. There was something else that upset you. What was it?” Patrick asked.

David sighed. “Alexis.”

“What about her? She and Ted… they seemed fine today.”

“She just…” David paused.

Patrick knew to wait. He crossed his leg, resting his right ankle on his left knee. He took a drink of his beer. Over the past few months, he’d perfected the art of waiting for David to organize his thoughts.

“She just keeps talking about how… _hot_ … everything is between them.” David admitted.

“That’s good, though. Right?” Patrick said. “Aren’t you happy for her?”

“Sure. Yes. Fine. But….”

Patrick raised his eyebrows. “But?”

“Patrick…” David couldn’t get out the words that were on the tip of his tongue.

Patrick shifted in his chair. Leaned forward. Elbows on the table.

David sat quietly. His eyes looking at his hands folded in front of himself. Resting on the table.

Patrick dug deep and asked the question. “David? Are you unhappy being my boyfriend?”

David’s eyes flew to Patrick’s. “No. Patrick. No.” Patrick’s question took the breath out of David.

Patrick asked a more difficult question. “Are you…satisfied with our… sexual relationship?”

David paused before answering.

The pause caused Patrick to scoot his chair back. He moved slightly away from the table.

“I’m … not…. _not satisfied_.” David said quietly. His eyes darting around the room, settling on everything but Patrick.

Patrick felt his heart fall into his stomach. He worked to catch the breath that he felt had just been gut-punched out of him.

“I don’t satisfy you, David?” Patrick’s eyes moved quickly. He looked at David’s eyes. The twisting of his mouth. The wringing of his hands. The furrowing of his brow.

“No… I mean…yes… Patrick…you do.”

Patrick got up abruptly at David’s stumbling over his words. He reached into the cabinet and pulled out the bottle of whiskey. He poured two fingers into a glass and tossed it back. His breath caught at the burning as it went down his throat. He leaned forward. Elbows on the counter. Back to David. He waited.

“Patrick, I’ve never been in a relationship this long. I… I just don’t know what I’m supposed to feel.” David said. He remained at the table. It was maybe easier to talk to Patrick when he couldn’t see him.

“Neither have I, David. And, I know…”

“Yes. You have, Patrick.” David cut him off. “You’ve been in a relationship longer than this.”

“David you can’t compare… no… no I haven’t. Not like this. You know that.” Patrick disagreed with him.

With a deep inhalation and then a long exhalation, David nodded. “M’kay. All right.”

“So, what do you feel, David?” Patrick was starting to regret thinking they needed this truth telling moment.

“It’s….more about…what I don’t feel?” David said.

 _Oh god. Oh my god._ Patrick began to panic. Tears stung at his eyes. He blinked them back. “What don’t you feel?” Patrick managed to say calmly.

David turned in his chair. Turned so that he was facing Patrick, who still had his back to him.

“Butterflies.” David said quietly.

Patrick stood and turned toward him. “What?”

“I used to feel them. Every morning when I walked toward the store and knew you were there? OR… at night when we texted? Before you picked me up for a date? Or… when you picked up your guitar to sing? I would feel them. I felt them _all the time_ , Patrick.” David told him.

“OK….” Patrick was unsure what David was trying to tell him.

“I didn’t realize they hadn’t been here. That I didn’t feel them anymore…Until Alexis started talking about how she gets them all the time. I haven’t… Patrick… I haven’t felt them for months.” David’s fingers worried the rings on his hand.

Patrick moved to the table. Sat across from him. “David…you know that’s nervousness. Right? When you’re stomach does flip-flops…”

“Butterflies.” David interrupted him. Corrected his choice of words.

“Fine. When your stomach has… _butterflies…_ , that’s your body telling you it’s nervous.” Patrick said.

“Yes. So?” David shook his head. He stood and leaned against the kitchen counter, keeping a distance between them.

“So maybe you aren’t nervous about seeing me anymore. You know what to expect. You aren’t nervous about talking to me…. David… that’s a _good thing_.” Patrick leaned forward. Elbows on the table. 

“I liked them.” David said quietly. He looked at his sock-covered feet.

“I know.” Patrick stood and took the three steps to stand in front of him. “They can be a good feeling. Fun…”

“I … miss them.” David said quietly. His eyes focused on the pizza sauce stain on Patrick’s white t-shirt. Dirty from a day of playing in the trees. And now a red-ish blotch in the center of his chest.

“They’ll visit from time to time.” Patrick told him. He jammed his hands in his pockets.

David continued to stare at the stain.

“Why didn’t you want to take me out for a Saturday night date?” David boldly moved to another topic of concern.

“What?” Patrick’s face registered the confusion he felt.

“A Saturday matinee, Patrick?” David raised his eyes to meet Patrick’s.

“David. Ray is gone for the weekend. Saturday night was the night designated for you to stay over. A matinee meant we could get home earlier so we could…” The palm of Patrick’s right hand smacked the end of the fist he made with his left. “David… I was just… maximizing our time here.”

“You were? He is?” David furrowed his brow. He hadn’t thought that Patrick might be making plans for them to fuck.

“Yeah.” Patrick nodded.

“Good. All right. Good.” David said, nodding his head.

“David. Why are you assuming I don’t want to be with you?” Patrick asked him.

“Patrick. I know you love me.”

“I do. Very much.” Patrick reached out a hand to David.

David moved. Stepped away. “Can we go sit on the couch?” He stepped toward the kitchen doorway.

“Sure. Yeah, David. Do you want another beer?” Patrick asked him.

“Water? Maybe?” David waved his hand in the direction of the refrigerator as he left the kitchen.

++++++

They sat on opposite ends of the couch. Facing one another. David’s legs folded under himself. His arms crossed over his chest. _Turtling._ Until very recently, it had been a while since Patrick had seen that pose.

Patrick waited. _Patient Patrick_.

They sat quietly for a long while. Both tired of talking. Neither sure they were done.

Suddenly into the quiet space between them, David blurted out, “Do you want to just do it without a condom? Would that help?”

Patrick shook his head in disbelief of what he was hearing. “What?!”

“You want to do it without a condom. Should we just do that? Would it make it better?” David asked, as though he was clarifying the whole situation.

“Make what better, David? I’m confused.” This conversation was coming out of left field and Patrick worked hard to try to get up to speed.

“Would it make you want me more?” David asked, thinking he was clarifying the situation.

“David. There’s so much wrong with… David. What you just said. I don’t even know how to…” Patrick stood and walked across the room. He stopped near the front door.

“Don’t leave.” David said.

Patrick turned to look at him. “I’m not leaving. In the last ten months, when have I left? I just…David, this conversation seems so random to me. I’m trying to catch up. I don’t know where to start with what you just said.”

“Start with… whether or not you need us to bareback.” David said frankly.

Patrick’s head pulled back at the harshness of David’s phrasing. “David. Where is this coming from?”

“Cody thought maybe it was…”

“Cody?” Patrick interrupted him. “Are you talking with _Cody_ about us?”

“No. Not ….”

Patrick paced the room.

“I _really_ want to hear what Cody had to say David.” His voice dripped with sarcasm. “What did, _Cody_ think?”

Patrick began to get angry. He mumbled, “Now _Cody_ is weighing in on our _fucking_ relationship.”

“I didn’t talk to him about _us_ , Patrick. Calm down. Cody talked to me about my… _obsession_ … as he calls it… about using condoms. And he reminded me that if I’m in a stable, monogamous relationship… maybe it was time to not use them.” David sat on the edge of the couch. He looked across the room at Patrick.

Patrick sighed and said nothing. He thought to himself, _I’ve told you that. You wouldn’t even discuss it._

“I just was thinking maybe that’s what you might want to…do to… make things...” David stopped talking.

Patrick stepped toward the couch. He knelt down in front of David. Put a hand on David’s knee. “I’ve said this to you before. I’m fine if we _never_ do that. I don’t _need_ for us to do that, David.”

“We could. It would spice things up for sure.” David avoided eye contact. He stared at his hands. Eyes red.

“If we… David… if we ever did that…it wouldn’t be to _spice up_ our sex life. It would be… it’s about trust and commitment. Not something to generate our relationship... _God, David_.” Patrick turned in frustration and sat on the floor. Rested his back against the front of the couch.

David reached down and put his hand on Patrick’s head. Pet him.

Patrick leaned his head back. Rested it on David’s leg. Shut his eyes at the feel of David’s hands gently touching him.

They sat quietly. Each in their own thoughts.

“Patrick?”

“Hmmm?”

“The other day? In the office at the store? I stood between you and the desk.” David said quietly.

“OK. I don’t remember.” Patrick told him.

David took a moment. He sighed before he spoke. “I stood between you and your work. My crotch was literally at your face level….”

Patrick knew where this was going. He waited.

David cleared his throat of the emotion he was holding back. “You looked around me. You looked around me to check that your receipts were still there.”

“I’m sorry.” Patrick knew David was right.

David’s hand slid from Patrick’s head to Patrick’s shoulder. “There was a time you’d have thrown everything off the desk and pushed me onto it.”

Patrick leaned forward. Elbows on his knees. Head in his hands. “You’re right. I did that. I’m sorry.”

“I feel like sometimes you just don’t want to touch me anymore. Like…”

Patrick cut him off, “That’s not true David.”

“Like what you did with Rachel.” David finished his thought.

Patrick felt like he was punched in the gut.

Patrick quickly moved. Got to his feet. Settled down beside David on the couch. Faced him. “David.”

“You loved her.”

“I did. But, David…”

“But you didn’t love having sex with her.” David’s eyes locked with Patrick’s

“I didn’t. David…”

“And I am worried you’ll do the same thing with me. You’ll get tired of it. Or, maybe you already are.” David’s eyes focused again on that fucking pizza stain on Patrick’s dirty shirt.

“David, we just had sex a few days ago.” Patrick tried to use sound logic with his boyfriend who was definitely not feeling logical and was, in fact, feeling very emotional.

“We used to do it every day. Or something every day. Sometimes more than once a day.” David’s eyes darted up to meet his.

“We did.” Patrick said quietly.

“So…” David started to speak.

Patrick cut him off. “OK. I’m stopping this.”

David looked away.

“David.” Patrick said with exasperation in his voice.

Then he stopped. He took a breath. There was no way he was going to let David’s emotional spiral take them down.

“David.” He said quietly. “Babe. Please look at me.”

David raised his eyes and looked into Patrick’s.

“David. I know… I.. I haven’t been with many people. Just Rachel and…”

“A hand full of other women, I know.” David interrupted him, nodding. Rolling his hand in front of him to get Patrick to continue.

“ _Nobody_ , David. _Not one of them_ made me want it… I tolerated it. I did it because it was expected of me.” Patrick said.

“Whatever, Patrick. You had orgasms. You came. You liked it. Don’t lie.” David challenged him.

“Yes. I did. You’re right. I’m not saying I didn’t. I had releases and that was good. But, David… I never walked away thinking… _I can’t wait to do that again_. I never… at the end of it… after an orgasm… I never thought… _I don’t want this to be over_.”

David eyed him. Waited to see where Patrick was taking the conversation.

“When I’m with you, David… I don’t ever want it to be over. I can’t get enough.” Patrick began to get emotional. “Sometimes… I’m disappointed when I come because…”

“M’Kay… all right.” David nodded his head dismissing what Patrick was saying. “You don’t have to…” David had a slight smile on his face.

“You know it’s true.” Patrick said. He reached a hand out and nudged David’s shoulder.

“I know. You don’t like it to be over. I know.” David said. “But, Patrick…”

“David. Let me say this.” Patrick said sternly, interrupting him.

David’s eyes met his. David nodded.

“Until you, I didn’t know what it was like to wake up and have the first thing that crosses my mind be …” Patrick slapped the end of his fist with the flat palm of his other hand.

David rolled his eyes and smiled.

“David ever since I met you, I wake up thinking about you. And when I see you, I want to touch you. And sometimes when I’m sitting at the desk, I think of you on your knees in front of me. And when I see you in the back room filling orders? I want to push you over the boxes and …” He stopped talking.

“And, what, Patrick?”

Patrick rested a hand on David’s thigh.

“Sometimes I get side-tracked. Sometimes my one-track mind gets to adding numbers or justifying books and I get a rush from that. It’s … it’s tax season… my brain is thinking about what needs done at the store… here at Ray’s. I’m sorry if it seems like I don’t want you. Because…” Patrick put his hand on David’s cheek. His thumb brushed the stubble on David’s chin.

Patrick whispered, “You’re the only person who’s ever made me hard without me working at it. With… I mean… in the past, I had to force myself to think of other things to make it… happen. Now? All I have to do, David, is think about _you_. Sometimes…I think about it when I shouldn’t… and… it’s most inconvenient.”

“You’re not tired of me? It’s been so long, I figured you were getting bored with me.”

Patrick shook his head. He leaned forward. He brushed his lips against David’s. He murmured, “How could I ever… _ever_ … get bored making love to _David Rose_?” 

++++++

Wearing a towel wrapped low around his waist, he walked slowly to his room and found David in the dark bedroom, sitting on the bed. Legs tucked under himself. Watching television.

David turned his attention to him when he heard him enter the room.

“Whatcha watchin’?” Patrick asked him.

David shrugged. “I don’t know. One of the house hunting shows.”

“You all right?” Patrick asked him.

“Tired.” David patted the space in front of himself. “Let me rub your shoulders.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can give you a massage if you want one.” Patrick told him.

“I want to spend some time with your shoulders, Patrick.” David said quietly. A slight smile on his face.

“Oh.” Patrick nodded. A bit of a blush started to creep its way onto his cheeks as he remembered the last time David _spent time_ with his shoulders.

Patrick left the door open, something they rarely did. Ray was gone, after all. He dropped his towel on the floor beside the bed.

“Sweetie, where’s your body milk?” David asked him.

Patrick pulled open the top drawer of his dresser and pulled out a new bottle of the unscented. He handed it to David. Then moved to sit in the middle of the bed. Sitting in front of David.

“Are you cold?” David asked him.

“Nope.” Patrick, completely naked, said.

“I don’t know how you do it. I’m freezing.” David said, dressed in thick sleep pants and a sweatshirt.

“Babe. You wear sweaters in the middle of summer. You’re always cold.” Patrick teased him.

David poured some of the lotion in his hands, rubbed them together and then settled them on Patrick’s bare shoulders.

At the touch of his cool hands, Patrick momentarily stiffened.

“Sorry. They’ll warm up.” David said.

His hands wrapped up and around Patrick’s broad shoulders. Patrick began to relax.

David’s thumbs worked the line from Patrick’s shoulders up his neck and back down.

Neither man spoke. The television, with the volume muted, cast a soft glow of light over them. Patrick watched for a moment as the people on television climbed a set of stairs to look at a large master suite complete with walk-in closet. Then he shut his eyes. His head rolled forward as David’s thumbs worked down his spine.

“David?”

“Hmmm?”

“Is there something I need to do? Something that would make _you_ feel more excited about our sex life?” Patrick asked.

David’s hands faltered for a brief moment. “I never said I wasn’t excited about our sex life.”

“Maybe… OK, maybe that was a poor choice of words.” Patrick tried to think of what he wanted to say. It was hard to think clearly with David’s hands now trailing down Patrick’s back. His thumbs working circles in Patrick’s lower back. _Right there. God it sometimes ached right there._

David stayed quiet. Wanting Patrick to find different words before he addressed what he knew Patrick was trying to say.

“Are _you_ …going to get bored with _me_? Having sex with me? You’ve had a lot of…Umm… experiences. Are you going to need… I don’t know… David.” Patrick couldn’t bring himself to say any of his worries out loud.

David’s hands moved back up Patrick’s back and onto his shoulders. Sliding down to massage his triceps. Thumbs working the muscle.

“Patrick, now _you’re_ being … you’re not …” David struggled with his own words. Then just stopped talking.

Patrick slowly nodded his head.

David moved closer to Patrick. He wrapped his hands under Patrick’s arms and pressed his palms to Patrick’s chest. He kissed the back of his neck and then rested his cheek on Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick’s hands came to rest over David’s.

David spoke quietly. “I use to worry…in the early days of our relationship…that the fire would burn out.”

Patrick leaned back against him. He moved his hands behind him and settled them on David’s legs. He also spoke quietly. “David, I worried, too. I worried I would never be enough to satisfy you. I still sometimes worry about that a little. Especially after something like today.”

“M’Kay… Patrick. I admit. In my past, relationships burned out quickly… if they even became a relationship. Then I’d move on and …get another…partner? So…I never knew what long-term was supposed to feel like?” David was digging deep for the honesty. It was less painful saying the words into Patrick’s shoulder. Of that, he was certain.

“Babe. We’re almost a year in. Are you feeling like you need to move on? Or…” Patrick faltered before continuing. “Or…maybe you need… someone else?” The words hurt to say out loud.

“HmMmm. Patrick, I love you.” David said without hesitation.

“I know you love me, David.” Patrick turned, then. Turned to sit, cross legged, naked, in front of the fully-clothed man that he loved.

Their bodies, their faces, inches apart.

Patrick waited until David’s eyes were brave enough to look into his. “I know you love me. That’s not what I’m asking.”

David shook his head. “What are you asking?”

“Will I… David…will I be enough for you? Two years… five years down the road?” Patrick’s large brown eyes looked at him.

David’s face moved. From a furrowed brow. To a grin that followed an exhalation of a slight chuckle.

“Oh Patrick.” David shook his head. One hand coming to rest on Patrick’s cheek. The other resting on Patrick’s waist. “My worry has never been whether you’d be enough for me.”

“Then what?” Patrick squinted his eyes. He settled a hand on David’s cheek. Thumb rubbing the stubble. _God_ , he loved that stubble.

“I worry that… well… Patrick, I’ve never kept someone happy for long.” David admitted.

The corners of Patrick’s mouth pulled up in a slight grin. He moved his head. An almost imperceptible shake. But David saw it. He saw his every move. It made David smile. A broad toothy smile.

“David Rose.” Patrick gently scolded him in a voice so quiet that anyone passing by would not have heard a word.

David pulled part of his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down.

“David. Every day, you are an adventure. How could I _not_ be happy with you?”

A coy look crossed his face. His fingers danced over Patrick’s chest. Down his abdomen. Rested on Patrick’s thick thighs, dangerously near Patrick’s dick. His fingers continued to dance. Teasing Patrick.

“You can tease me. You can make me work for it. I’ll take it all.” Patrick put his hands on David’s knees.

David’s fingers moved, then. Began their teasing dance up and down the velvety smoothness of Patrick’s cock.

Patrick’s body instantly responded. He dropped his gaze. Watched David touch him. Watched his dick react to David’s beautiful, long fingers as they wrapped around him. Watched his thumb glide over the sensitive head his cock.

Still facing down, his big, brown eyes looked up at David.

David watched him blush. Watched him smile shyly.

They sat. Facing one another. Each with his legs tucked under himself.

David, fully clothed in his dark armor.

Patrick exposed. Naked. Open to David for the taking.

++++++

David’s lips moved down his chest. Following the trail made by his roaming fingers. His tongue darted out to lick Patrick’s flesh. Patrick reached up with one hand and held on to one of the brass bars of the headboard. His other hand eagerly moved to David’s head. Fingers sliding through David’s thick, black hair. Eliciting a moan from David that caused blood to surge to Patrick’s cock.

“God, David.” He whispered into the room.

His hips bucked, inviting David to pay attention to where he wanted it the most.

David’s tongue and lips teased Patrick. Long, slow licks up the length of Patrick’s cock. David’s eyes locking with Patrick’s during one of those licks brought a chuckle out of Patrick.

“David Rose, you fucking tease.” Patrick said to David’s delight.

“What are you going to do about it?” David asked him. Another long, slow lick that stopped short of pulling the head of Patrick’s cock into his mouth.

Patrick sat up abruptly while smiling at David. “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to fuck you.”

In one swift movement, he got to his knees and pushed David backward onto the bed. David’s head falling back and resting at the foot of Patrick’s bed.

“Oh!” David said in a high-pitched excited voice. “Oh! Mr. Brewer!” He giggled.

Patrick hungrily worked his way down David’s body with his mouth. Stopping only to breathe in David’s scent, and to relish the feeling of David’s hairy chest on his cheek.

Patrick reached for the lube that he had set on the bed. Ensuring his fingers were sufficiently prepared, he began to work to open David’s hole. Occasionally swiping his finger against the spot that caused David to writhe on the bed in front of him.

While Patrick’s mouth toyed with the shaft of David’s cock, his fingers pulled out of David only to re-enter him and tease him more.

“Now who’s the fucking tease?” David arched an eyebrow and raised one of his arms, settling it under his head. He enjoyed every moment.

When he could take it no longer, David sat up and pushed Patrick onto his back. He reached for the condom that Patrick had put on the bed near them. He finished opening the cellophane wrapper and rolled the condom down over Patrick’s firm cock. He added lube. 

Patrick looked up at him. David straddling Patrick. Patrick grinned and winked at him. He would forever remember the first dream he had about David. David sitting atop Patrick, riding him.

David raised himself up on his knees. Patrick’s hand wrapped around the base of his cock. Holding it in place, readying himself for the pleasure of having David sit down on him.

David lowered himself. Slowly. No hesitations. Onto Patrick.

The slow moan coming from Patrick was not quiet. David liked when they were alone in the house. He knew that in their future the more they could do alone, the more he’d coax filthy words and loud sounds out of him. David made a personal challenge to himself to see what he could charm out of this sexy buttoned-up boyfriend of his.

Patrick, closed his eyes as he anticipated the feeling of David slowly settling over him. David was tight and hot and squeezed around Patrick. He would never tire of the feeling. He liked how when David was on him like this, Patrick was able to go deeper than any other position they’d found.

“Fuck, David.” Patrick let out the words he was feeling.

David’s movements were slow at first. Up. Down. Out. In. And then the rhythm started. Patrick’s hands wrapped themselves, end-to-end around David’s cock. David liked this little scenario that they’d learn to create when David was riding him. Patrick would work David’s cock. David moved on him.

As David moved up off Patrick’s cock, his dick plowed deeper into Patrick’s hand. And as he settled down onto Patrick’s cock, making sure it was good and deep inside of him, he was pulling his cock out of Patrick’s hands.

As David’s body worked, he rested a hand on each side of Patrick’s shoulders. 

“Promise.” David said on winded breath.

“Promise, what, babe?” Patrick’s hips bucked.

“Don’t get tired of me.” David looked down at Patrick. They locked eyes. Upon seeing Patrick’s caramel brown eyes squint in realization of what David said, he slowed his movements. He suddenly felt remarkably vulnerable. Alone. On top of Patrick.

Patrick saw the look on David’s face and instantly responded. He raised up on his elbows.

“David?”

David’s eyes darted to the side.

Patrick lay back. He moved his hand to the base of his cock, holding the condom with one hand. “Come on.” He said. With his other hand he patted David’s ass, encouraging him to move.

David raised up on his knees.

“Lie down.” Patrick commanded in a gentle, quiet voice.

David grinned and did as he was told. Raised his knees. Feet flat on the bed. Arms extended to welcome Patrick’s body.

Patrick moved to his knees between David’s legs. He lined himself up. Reached for the lube and added more to the condom covering his dick. He wasted no time in entering David again. He leaned forward and held himself over David.

David’s knees raised up and his feet hooked around Patrick. Comfort.

His hands instantly moved to Patrick’s arms. Forearms. Biceps. Delighting in his partner’s strength.

Patrick lowered himself further over him as he began to move in and out of David. Strong and sure movements. His lips moved to David’s neck. David tilted his head to allow him to… _there. That’s the spot. Right there._

“David. There’s no way I’d get tired of you. Of us. This is so good.”

Patrick’s lips moved over his neck. David’s hands roamed over his back, down his arms.

David’s hands moved to Patrick’s face and he pulled him close for a kiss. David’s lips parted. His tongue swiped a path on Patrick’s lips. Patrick’s mouth opened to pull him in. His body moved rhythmically over David, and he pulled David’s tongue into his mouth.

One of David’s hands left Patrick and moved between them to wrap around his own cock.

Patrick’s arms moved under David’s. His hands wrapped up behind David’s upper back and hooked up around David’s shoulders. He used his hands to push David downward as his hips rocked up. Allowing him to fuck David with more force.

They locked eyes. A hot intensity built between them. In the quiet room the only sounds were of two men’s ragged breath and hot skin hitting hot skin.

As his hard cock drove David near the edge, Patrick moved his lips to David’s neck. One of David’s hands moved to cradle the back of Patrick’s head. The other settled on his arm.

Then, Patrick spoke in a low voice, his lips grazing David’s ear. “You’re the only fucking generator I ever needed, David.”

David’s fingers dug into Patrick’s arm. The hand on Patrick’s head grasped at Patrick’s short hair, trying desperately to hold on to him. “God. Patrick. Yes! Yes!”

David easily fell into the waves of pleasure Patrick brought to him.

And David’s arms and legs wrapped tightly around Patrick when he joined David… while jolts of electricity passed between them.

++


	4. Valentine's Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Apothecary launches their "Meet the Maker" campaign which brings their good friends Terri and Amy to the store for the day. David and Amy enjoy time together, while Patrick has an important discussion with Terri. David and Patrick agree to chaperone a local dance on Valentine's Day. They end the day in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place between 5.01 and 5.02. 
> 
> Just doing what I do. Building a story. Planting some seeds. Filling in the spaces between scenes from the show. 
> 
> +++
> 
> A note from me:  
> The other night as we sat in bed I pulled out my computer to write - as I do at the end of each day. SO asked, "How long have you been writing those stories you post?" 
> 
> "A little over a year." I said. 
> 
> "Do you still enjoy writing it?" SO asked.
> 
> "I do." I said. 
> 
> "Why?" SO asked. "Seems like a lot of work." 
> 
> And I told SO how much I loved playing with my Barbie dolls when I was a kid. I would create scenarios I would act out with the dolls - drama, humor, love. 
> 
> "And this feels like that. Only instead of having dolls, I have these characters someone else created and I get to pretend with them like they're mine."
> 
> "Alright." SO said with a shrugging of shoulders and the slight rolling of eyes at my silly description.
> 
> "Does it bother you that I write every night?" I asked. 
> 
> "Not if it still makes you happy." Was SO's response.
> 
> And, just as all the nights before, there was not one complaint about the sound of the tap-tap-tap of my keyboard well into the night while SO slept soundly. 
> 
> My wish for all of you is that you have the love of someone who supports your hobbies - even the crazy ones, like my obsession with writing in this fantastic fandom.
> 
> *Red heart emoji*  
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> \- PD
> 
> ++

++++++

Patrick parked the car and when they got out, David headed over to the café to grab their morning drinks while Patrick went into the store to get it ready to open. It was a special Saturday and both were excited for different reasons.

It was the kick-off event for one of the marketing ideas David created. It was officially their first “Meet the Maker” day. David wanted to find a way to remind their customers that all of their products are made by local people. Neighbors. So, he talked to a handful of their vendors and they agreed to come to the store on a designated day and be available to meet their loyal customers face-to-face.

David’s pitch to them was, “They see Patrick. They see me. They see us as Rose Apothecary. I don’t want them to forget that there are more people who are connected to the things they buy. The things they use.”

They currently had enough vendors signed up to come every Saturday for the next 8 weeks. David had participated in another Butani-cast of “What’s Up Schitt’s Creek?” to get the word out. Patrick had taken out a half page in the local news to advertise the coming four weeks of scheduled visits. They’d updated the web page to advertise the meet-and-greet days. And David had blasted his social media accounts.

David had decided to kick off the series with the makers of their best seller. Body Milk. And Terri and Amy were expected within the half hour.

++++++

Patrick was in the office, taking advantage of the quiet before the day started to organize the bill-paying he would need to do early the next week. “Getting a head start on it.” He told David. But really, he was just biding his time. Anxious to get some time with Terri to talk.

David poked his head around the curtain, “Patrick. They’re here.” Then David’s head disappeared, presumably to greet them.

Patrick methodically put his things away so that he’d know where he left off when he came back to it. He tucked his folders into the top drawer of the desk and headed out to greet their friends.

++++++

David stood just outside of the store to greet them. Amy, of course, was the first to reach him.

“Welcome! It’s going to be a fun day!” He said. He really was excited about it. He’d been fielding emails, instant messages, and responses to his Instagram posts and tweets about it. He anticipated increased traffic in the store.

“I’m so happy to see you!” Amy encircled his waist in a tight hug.

He patted her back, “You look great, Amy.”

She pulled back and looked at him. “I feel good.” She patted her lower abdomen.

“Hey, David.” Terri joined them. They exchanged a brief hug. “I brought the load of product. If you want, I can start unloading it.”

“Let me help with that.” Patrick said from the door.

Terri turned and grinned. “Hey, Friend.”

Patrick and Terri embraced, as they do. Two friends. A firm pat on the back. An affectionate squeeze.

“Hi Patrick,” Amy got his attention and he turned to her.

“Amy. Congratulations!” He said as he pulled her in for a hug.

David took Amy to the office while Terri and Patrick unloaded the boxes of product and took them to the storage room.

“Now. You come in here and put your feet up and do whatever you need to do to be comfortable.” David told her. “We have chairs in the store for you to sit if you want. But if you need to get away from everyone, you come in here. Help yourself to anything. Hot tea, espresso…. Oh, wait. Can you have espresso?”

++++++

As anticipated, they had more traffic than their typical Saturday. With Valentine’s Day around the corner, some people were coming in for gifts. But they also saw a good number of their regular customers who came with the sole intention of meeting Terri and Amy.

Ever since David, a few months prior, had created his “Vendor Information” campaign, there was interest from customers about actually meeting them. In the fall he had put informational cards about each vendor near the products on the shelves, he added pop-up windows by each product on the website to allow customers to see the faces of who created the product they were about to purchase. Each pop-up window had a small amount of details about the time and energy put into creating the product. And he had a social-media campaign that highlighted each local vendor and the town where the product was made. That campaign led Patrick to find another nice-sized grant, for community awareness and promotion, which they were awarded.

A few carloads of road-trippers came from other towns to meet the creators of the goat milk products. With the campaigns David had created, the store’s vendors were a bit like local celebrities. While Patrick worked the register, he asked questions about where each customer was from. A few of the customers had only ever purchased on-line orders. They reported that they were excited to see the store in person, and the main reason they drove to see it was because they wanted to meet Terri and Amy.

David worked the floor, Terri and Amy stood and talked with customers. Amy brought her iPad that contained a series of photographs from the farm. She set the iPad up on the shelf by the products she made. Several of the customers stopped to flip through the pictures. The barn. The goats in the field. Goats in the barn. Terri milking a goat. The lavender field. A picture of David and Patrick by the lavender field. The stream. The house. Amy standing over a big pot in the kitchen. The herb garden. The soap, laid out to cure. The lavender hung on strings in the kitchen to dry. Terri and Patrick on Cagney and Lacey. A picture of the two couples, Terri/Amy and David/Patrick, with Nan and Pop standing between them. Amy and Terri sitting on the porch with Sadie.

David nodded at her. “These pictures are a nice touch, Amy. _Very nice_.”

++++++

It was, overall, a busy morning and David was pleased. He knew they were starting with their big-seller and he could acknowledge that not everyone was going to come out like this to meet, say, their basket-weaving friend from Cedar Grove or the Himalayan cat breeder from up the street who knits the scarves that activate Patrick’s allergies. But they had enough products that had a following that he thought they’d have some success with this type of campaign.

As the clock passed noon, David worked to usher some of the lingering talkers out of the store. He had learned to use a technique he had seen Patrick use in times like these. He maintained his connection to the customer, to Amy, as they talked. But as the conversation continued, he inched himself closer and closer to the front door. The group in the conversation inched with him. Before long, his hand was on the door and it was open.

“Thank you so much for making the time to come in today. We are so glad you did.” He said to the last customer who graciously departed.

“Aim.” Terri leaned over, put a hand on Amy’s back, and whispered in her ear. “Please sit down for a bit.”

Patrick looked up from the register and watched them. The two peeled away from the customer and David. They sat down on the chairs to the side of the room. They talked quietly. Terri brushing a curl from Amy’s face, tucking it behind her ear. Amy, smiling at Terri, fussed with a button on the front of Terri’s shirt. The intimacy of the moment made Patrick feel like he was intruding on their privacy. What he saw between them, made him think of what he had with David. He quickly looked back at the register and it finished running totals.

While Patrick took the drawer to the office, David ordered lunch for the foursome. They decided to get it to go and eat it at the store.  
  
Patrick was pleased to see the bottom line for the day. He put the deposit in the safe. He cut a check for Terri and Amy. When he held the envelope out to Amy, she looked at him with a question on her face.

“Mileage reimbursement and a stipend for spending your day with us.” He said.

Terri shook her head. Amy waved her hands in front of herself. “No, Patrick.”

“Listen. This isn’t just you two. We are doing this for all of the vendors who choose to come participate in this project with us. It’s not a lot. But it’s something we want to do to thank you for doing it. You being here increased traffic for us.” Patrick explained.

++++++

After lunch, they separated as planned. David and Amy stayed behind at the store. They sat in the office, feet up, chatting. David wanted to talk products and future ad campaigns that involved the use of the goats. They also wanted to catch up on life in general.

David told her about his mom being gone for a movie and his dad driving everyone crazy. Told her about the recent issues with the impossibly stubborn tile in the bathroom that kept falling down. Then he told her about the quiz in the magazine. The arguing. The frustration. Told her about climbing the tress and doing the log and ropes courses.

He asked her to tell him about what to expect in a long-term relationship. The changes in feelings, in expectations. She told him about the importance of talking. About respecting personal space. She encouraged him to express his worry to his partner and not to hold it in. She reminded him of the importance of dates. And laughter. And sex.

Amy talked about her work and how she still loved what she did. She told him that she and Terri were in discussions about what they would do for child care after the baby was born. She was early into her second trimester and was feeling good. She was excited for what the future held. They had emptied Terri’s office across from their bedroom and had begun making a nursery in that room.

David never brought up to Amy that he knew she had originally wanted him to donate sperm for her pregnancy. He did not intend to ever tell her he knew. He figured if she wanted him to know, she would tell him.

++++++

Terri and Patrick headed out for a hike. Before they left, Patrick grabbed his back pack and tossed a couple of waters from the refrigerator into it.

Terri parked her truck where Patrick indicated. They got out and began the hike. They were quiet. Much like when they rode the horses on the farm, they both were lost in their own thoughts. Both enjoying the nature around them. Fresh air. Sunshine.

When they reached the end of the trail, they stopped. It was a somewhat rocky area in a clearing that lent itself to a good sit and view.

“My god.” Terri proclaimed. Her hands on her waist. “Patrick. This is beautiful.” She looked out over the panoramic view. Treetops below them. Vast sky above them.

Patrick stood beside her. Removed his backpack and took a similar pose. Hands on his waist. He nodded. “Yeah. I’ve taken a lot of runs around here. Hiked a lot. I think this view is the best in the county.”

He bent over and retrieved a water from his backpack and handed it to Terri. He sat down on one of the rocks and opened his own bottle. Took a swig.

She sat down near him.

They both looked out, facing the same direction as they often did when they talked.

“What’s on your mind.” She started them.

“The rings came in.” He reached into the backpack and pulled out a black box. He handed them to her.

She opened the box and looked at the four gold rings lined up in a row. “Well, those have David Rose written all over them.” She said with a smile. She closed the box and handed it back to him.

He opened the box and looked at them.

They sat. Patrick leaned over. Elbows on his knees. Ring box in his hands. Terri sitting with legs crossed. Hands in her lap. She looked out over the trees below them, but kept him in her peripheral line of sight.

“When did you plan to ask him?” She broke the silence.

“Was going to do it on Valentine’s day….”

“Was?” Terri asked him. She knew what the issue was. She knew why he texted her earlier in the week to ask her for a hike after the store closed.

He shook his head and said quietly, “I can’t now.” He shut the box and tucked it safely into the backpack.

“Why not?” She asked. Even though she knew.

“You know why.” He said.

Terri did not respond.

He turned to her. “Terri. I was going to tell them. That’s what me going home over Christmas was supposed to be about.”

“I know, Kid. I know.” She nodded. Turned to him. “It stinks that you guys got sick.”

“And then they were gone for their cruise… and then Grandpa got sick and Mom went to stay with him….”

“Life happens. It’s hard to set aside that time.” Terri said.

“I can’t tell them this over the phone. I just can’t.” Patrick said.

“Makes sense.” Terri knew what he was doing. Avoidance. It was a classic case. But she couldn’t fault him for it. And she wasn’t going to tell him that’s what he was doing. She wasn’t his therapist. She was his friend.

“I can’t ask him until I talk to them. I can’t spring on them… Hey, Mom. Dad. I’m engaged… and by the way…” He huffed out a small laugh.

Terri smiled. “You know your folks best. You know how they need to hear it. Nobody’s going to judge you for trying to figure it out.”

“I am, though. Terri, _I_ … am judging me.” Patrick said seriously.

Terri gave him a moment to sit with those words.

“Tell me what you mean.” She prompted him.

Patrick sighed. “Why am I not making it happen?”

“Are you asking _me_? Or asking _you_ that question?” She responded.

“I’m asking you.” He said.

“You’re the only one who really knows the answer.” She told him.

“They’re good people… Terri. My folks… they’re _good people_.” Patrick’s right hand formed a fist and he tapped his knee with it.

Terri nodded. “They raised _you_ , Patrick. I have no doubt they’re good people.”

“What if they let me down. What if they…”

“Patrick.” She interrupted him.

Patrick stopped talking.

“Patrick. Take a breath.”

Patrick took a deep breath.

Terri felt bad for him. She wanted to reassure him. But she had no real way of knowing. She didn’t know anything about his parents that he hadn’t told her. “Have your folks ever let you down before? Not supported you in any endeavor?”

“No.” Patrick shook his head.

“In all the Rachel stuff. The break-ups. The getting back together. Any of that? Did they express disappointment… or…” 

“They supported me and treated me the same, regardless of what was going on with her.” Patrick told her. “Always said it was my life and they… just supported me.”

“Have they ever been openly judgmental about other people … in your community… in your family?” Terri asked.

“Not that I… No…Not really. Not that I can think of.” He said.

“So why are you really worried?” She asked him.

They sat again in silence. Until Patrick spoke quietly. “I’m their only kid. They have both invested so much in me.”

“Patrick. You’re an amazing man. You’re intelligent and hard-working. You’re loving and generous to your friends and family…” She put her hand on his shoulder. “…Your parents know that about you.”

“Terri…they had a plan for me and my life…”

Terri waited.

Patrick continued. “They’re going to have to shift their thinking. And… what they would accept in others… I’m worried they won’t accept in me. Because… I’m not the neighbor or the cousin. I’m _their son_.”

++++++

They stood on the sidewalk outside of the store and waved as their friends drove away.

“Let’s lock up and head back to your place.” David said.

“Just got to get my backpack.” Patrick called over his shoulder as he went to the office to retrieve it.

David walked through the store. Shut out lights. Met Patrick at the door. “Where did you two go?”

“Just… for a hike. Up north of town. It’s a nice place.” Patrick held the door open for David.

“Yeah?” David asked.

“Yeah. Maybe I’ll take you there sometime.” Patrick pulled the door shut and locked it.

“M’Kay. I mean… I’m not doing a hike unless there’s a picnic of some sort involved.” David grinned at him.

“Sounds like a plan.” Patrick put a hand on David’s lower back as they walked to the car.

“What did you two talk about on your hike.”

“Just… life.” Patrick said.

He knew. He knew he was missing an opportunity to tell David. At this point he was embarrassed that he hadn’t told David that his parents were unaware of their relationship, and of Patrick figuring out his preferences.

He was afraid if David found out that he’d kept it that he would be angry. Or hurt.

His stomach did a flip flop. He justified it to himself. _I’m not really lying to him. I’m just not telling him. He’d be upset if I told him. He’d worry that I am ashamed of him, of us. I will get to my folks. I’ll tell them. Then David won’t need to know that it took me so long. I’ll tell them. It will all be OK when I tell them._

++++++

David felt a hint of butterflies as he got ready. He smiled to himself at the feeling. Patrick was right when he told him that they’d visit again.

It was a special night. Though if he were being honest it wasn’t what he’d thought they’d be doing on their first Valentine’s Day.

They’d worked all day. It was a busy at the store. Last minute shoppers. He was glad he thought ahead and ordered extra chocolates. Stocked more bottles of wine. Bath supplies. Massage oils. Candles. He knew his customers and he knew what would sell.

All year when he thought about this night, he had thought about a romantic dinner for two. Maybe an overnight stay in Elmdale, or somewhere further away. He hadn’t thought that they’d be chaperoning a dance for the local GLSEN chapter.

As he ran the product through is hair with his fingers he thought about Patrick’s reaction when he told him weeks earlier.

***

“Ummm… Sweetie, did you have any thoughts about how we might spend Valentine’s Day?” David asked him.

Patrick looked up from the stack of papers he was working on. “I guess we should talk about it. Do you want to do something special?”

David, a little shocked that Patrick hadn’t already planned out a whole night, shook his head. “I have a favor to ask.”

David told Patrick that The AIDS Center had been asked to provide the chaperones for the dance. The GLSEN chapters at the local high schools in the county had planned an area-wide dance. The board members had all agreed to be the chaperones. David had not yet committed, pending a discussion with Patrick.

“You want to go to a _high school dance_?” Patrick had asked. “On Valentine’s Day?”

“Well…” David sat down on Patrick’s lap and looked down into those big brown eyes. “I don’t _want_ to… but if I _have to_ …? I’d like it if you were with me, Mr. Brewer.” He snaked one hand around Patrick’s shoulder and rubbed his back. His other hand rested on Patrick’s chest. David knew how to talk to him to get the response he wanted out of him.

David watched his face as the corners of Patrick’s mouth quirked into a grin. “Whatever you want David.”

And that grin that Patrick gave him? It earned him time in the back office. While he sat at his desk with David between his knees. Doing that thing that he likes. Because Patrick also knew how to get the response he wanted out of David.

++++++

Patrick had dragged his feet planning Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t like him to not be _all-in_ when preparing for a special day. Anniversaries. Christmas. Birthdays. And especially Valentine’s day.

In his previous life, he always knew how to make Rachel feel special. She loved Valentine’s Day and delighted when Patrick made a fuss. He always planned ahead. Reservations. Thoughtful gifts.

But _this_ holiday, at _this_ time was difficult.

For some time, he had planned to propose to David on Valentine’s Day. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe he was programmed to think of the holiday as a benchmark.

With the change in plans over Christmas, though, he couldn’t propose. Until he told his parents there was no way. He had spent a lot of money on the rings. Although he’d known for some time that he wanted to propose to David, Patrick hadn’t gone looking for them, necessarily.

He saw them when shopping for Christmas presents for David. He had stopped in his tracks. They were the ones. They were David. He ordered them in David’s sizes. He knew the sizes by the feel of them. He’d put them on his own hands many times.

And when the rings came in, a few weeks prior, it was a reminder to Patrick that he had not planned anything else for Valentine’s Day.

In retrospect it was probably a good thing. When Patrick really thought about it, he realized that there was absolutely no way that David would love to tell a story about receiving a proposal of marriage on Valentine’s Day.

It was too ordinary. It was too expected. David would want something… unexpected.

Patrick sat on his bed holding the box, looking at the rings when the door flew open.  
  
“Patrick, I have a question for you.” Ray said brightly.

Patrick quickly stood and tucked the box into his dresser drawer where he had been keeping it hidden.

“Ray. Man… you can’t just come in here. We’ve talked about this. You have to knock.” Patrick said.

Ray backed out the door, pulling it closed behind him. “I’m sorry Patrick.”

“No. No, Ray. Come on. You’re here. What do you need?”

++++++

The knock at the door brought a few more flutters in his stomach. He wasn’t sure why. He had always felt like Valentine’s was a trite holiday. And he acknowledged to himself that their evening would consist of making sure the youths didn’t spike the punch, smoke pot under the bleechers, or make out for too long in dark corners. But he also knew that they were having what felt like their first date in a long time. And he welcomed the fluttery feeling in his stomach.

When he opened the door, he was not disappointed. “Look at you.” David said. A toothy grin crossed his face.

His boyfriend. His sweet, thoughtful, even-tempered boyfriend stood in front of him. A large bouquet of spring flowers in one hand. A box of handmade chocolates, David’s favorites, in his other. He wore a blue sweater vest the same shade of blue as the button up shirt underneath it. Jeans. Tight jeans.

Patrick looked down at himself as David took the flowers from his hand. “This look OK? You said I could wear jeans.”

“You look perfect. The vest is a nice touch.” David gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for these.” He smelled the flowers. Looked around for where to put them.

When David came back from his parent’s room with the vase, he caught Patrick averting his eyes after raking up and down David’s body. “Like what you see?” David teased.

He liked when Patrick blushed like that. Liked when he was caught in the act of objectifying David.

“I like your sweater. I’ve not… seen it before.” Patrick took another look at it.

“Thank you. I didn’t realize I hadn’t worn it for a while.” All lies, David had to admit. He had every article of clothing documented in his journal and he tracked daily what he wore so as not to repeat any ensemble often, unless it was intentional.

“Ready to go?” Patrick asked him.

David shut the door to his parent’s room. “Almost.” He said coyly, leaning back against the door.

He held out a hand. Patrick smiled and walked toward him. Took his hand.

“I want to thank you for agreeing to come with me tonight, Mr. Brewer.” David smiled at him. Tucked his fingers into the waistband of his jeans. Pulled him closer.

“You might want to thank me after, David.” Patrick murmured. His eyes dropped to David’s lips before they kissed.

“Mmmm. Maybe a little before, too.” David pressed the back of his hand against Patrick’s crotch. Ran his knuckle up and down the ridge formed by Patrick’s dick.

Patrick let out a slow exhalation. “David…Babe. If we’re chaperoning this thing, you can’t be doing stuff like this.”

“What if I take the edge off before we go? A little _thank you gift_ … for agreeing to help tonight?” David zeroed in on that place on Patrick’s neck. And he knew he hit the right spot when Patrick tilted his head, giving David more room to maneuver.

++++++

“Oh god.” David muttered as they entered the school in Elmdale.

“You all right?” Patrick grinned as David’s arm snaked its way through Patrick’s.

“Unclear.” David said.

“This may not be the school I went to, but it sure feels a lot like it. Kinda cool.” Patrick looked up at David. His smile faded when he saw the look of trepidation on David’s face. Patrick bent his arm so that David’s hand could settle into the crook of Patrick’s inner elbow.

It had been a long time since David was in a school and he did not have fond memories of the ones he attended. The way their voices echoed off the lockers in the hallway. The smell of… youths. None of it was comfortable for him. His hand tightened on Patrick’s arm.

They followed the noise and the trail of decorations to the gymnasium where they found a few of the board members from the AIDS Center and a handful of kids who were finishing the decorating.

“Hey guys!” They heard from deep in the room over near the refreshment table.

“Oh. _Gooood._ I was worried Cody wouldn’t be here.” Patrick’s sarcastic muttering caused David to give him a scolding look. 

“Patrick. He’s fine. Let’s go say hi.” David tugged Patrick’s arm.

++++++

Patrick stood at the edge of the room. Hands jammed in his pockets as he watched the kids dancing.

“Penny for your thoughts.” David joined him with two cups of red punch. He handed Patrick one.

“Thanks. Just thinkin’ about high school dances. Doesn’t this bring back memories for you?” Patrick asked him.

“This? No.” David said. He sipped the punch and made a face.

“Let me guess. Yours were probably in nice hotels? Live bands?” Patrick also sipped on the punch. He too made a face. “That’s some _red_ punch.”

“They were. And… yes… this is. Ew.”

“Give it here. I’ll go dump it.” Patrick took the cup from David and left the room to go dump the drinks in the restroom. While there, he relieved himself. Washed his hands.

Before going back to the dance, he went on a trek to try to find a vending machine so he could buy some water or soda. He walked down the hall. He came upon large trophy case built into the wall. He stopped and looked at the trophies. The photos. The winning balls. The pom-poms. The batons from relay races. The jerseys. It made Patrick think of his own high school days. They were good days. He didn’t have bad memories of them.

He heard the fast music stop. [Heard the song start to play](https://youtu.be/rroc2y9if_Q). He grinned. That was one of their songs. He immediately turned to head back to the gym. Maybe he’d talk David into a quick dance off to the side.

When he walked in, he looked to where he had left David. He wasn’t there. He scanned the sides of the room. He didn’t see him.

He walked over to a couple of the other chaperones. Greeted them. They stood watching the kids dancing. And as Patrick scanned the dance floor, he saw them.

His heart dropped to his stomach.

His breath caught in his throat.

He jammed his hands into his pockets and watched them.

David and Cody. Dancing.

Patrick tried to be rational. He saw that there was plenty of space between them. David’s hands rested lightly on Cody’s shoulders. They didn’t move on Cody the way David’s hands roamed on Patrick.

He watched as David said something and Cody threw back his head and laughed. He watched as they turned on the dance floor. Then he saw David look over Cody’s shoulder and his eyes locked on Patrick. David’s face slowly moved into that grin of his. Mouth turned slightly upward; lips pulled to the side of his face. He knew what Patrick was thinking.

Patrick moved, then. He wasn’t sure what was propelling him. And he realized it was silly. He should have let them just finish the dance. But something about the way David looked at him with that grin told him that it would be all right.

Patrick walked up behind Cody. Tapped him on the shoulder. “I’d like to finish this dance with my boyfriend, Cody. That is… if it’s OK with him.”

Patrick winked at David.

David’s face twisted, again, into a pleased smile.

“No problem, Patrick.” Cody patted Patrick’s shoulder as he handed David off to him.

Patrick turned into David and pulled him close. Hands settled first on David’s waist and as David’s arms wrapped around Patrick’s shoulders, pulling him in close, Patrick’s hands moved to David’s lower back.  
  
He pressed David close to him. He kissed his neck. Pressed his forehead against David’s temple.

“Sorry, Sweetie.” David said into his ear. “He asked me to dance and I didn’t want to say no.”

Patrick kissed his cheek. Moved his mouth to David’s ear. “You don’t have to say no, Babe. It’s OK.” Maybe it was OK. Maybe it wasn’t. Patrick knew he didn’t like seeing David in another man’s arms. But he also knew better than to be upset about it in public. On a dancefloor filled with teenagers. In front of David’s colleagues from the center’s board.

The song ended and another started. As Patrick’s arms loosened, David’s tightened around him.

“David. We should stop dancing.”

David shook his head. “No.” He protested.

“We’re the chaperones.” Patrick said. “We should be watching the kids.”

David moved his lips to Patrick’s ear. In a low voice that he knew would get to Patrick, he said, “Tell me why you’re so fascinated by this sweater I’m wearing.”

Patrick grinned. He turned his face into David’s neck and kissed him. Then put his lips to David’s ear. “Those white patches. On the front near the bottom of the sweater.”

“What about them?” David knew. It was the sole reason he purchased the sweater to begin with.

“Seems like that would be exactly where I would put my hands if I were to _fuck you_ from behind.”

“Oh, Mr. Brewer. I love it when you talk dirty to me.”

“I’m going to need to see this sweater more often.” Patrick said quietly into David’s ear. 

++++++

Patrick came out of the bathroom in his sweat pants and t-shirt. David and his dad were sitting at the table in David’s room.

“…and shooting will wrap soon. Next week, she thinks.” David’s dad said.

“That’s good, Dad. I’m glad you were able to talk with her today.” David said.

When he saw Patrick come out of the bathroom, David’s dad stood. “You boys didn’t have to be here tonight.”

“It’s fine, Dad.” David said. David and his sister had agreed that if she and Ted took their dad to dinner that he and Patrick would spend the night at the motel.

“I’d be fine here alone. Besides the other rooms are all booked tonight. Big night!” His dad said proudly as he clapped his hands together once while he walked toward his room. “Oh!” He turned to point a finger at Patrick. “Thank you, Patrick, for the chocolates. That was very kind of you.”

Patrick glanced at David who raised an eyebrow without moving another muscle.

“I’m glad you liked them, Mr. Rose.” Patrick said with a grin.

David’s dad pulled the door shut. Then opened it and poked his head back in the room. “I won’t come back in tonight, boys. Room’s all yours.” Then he pulled the door shut behind him.

Patrick turned to David. “Gave your dad the chocolates?”

“While you were in the shower. Yes. He seemed… down.” David said.

Patrick moved toward David. He sat down on David’s lap. Draped an arm around David’s shoulders. “You’re a good man, David Rose.”

“I am. I am a remarkable man.” David grinned up at him. Mouth open for the kiss that Patrick planted on him.

David patted Patrick’s ass. “Now, if you will get _off me_ , I can get your present.”

“David. No. I didn’t get you anything.” Patrick protested.

“Excuse me? You gave me these gorgeous flowers. And a lovely box of chocolates that doubled as a gift for my father. And… you went to the dance with me. Those were wonderful gifts, Patrick.”

Patrick moved to sit on the end of David’s bed. David bent over to retrieve a large flat package from under the bed. Wrapped in brown paper. Tied with a black bow. The store’s signature wrapping paper. As always.

David deposited the gift on the bed beside Patrick. He sat on Alexis’s bed and smiled at him. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Patrick.” David leaned forward. Elbows on his knees. He watched Patrick’s face.

Patrick grinned as he began to unwrap the gift. It was clearly something framed. When he tore the paper back, he saw the back of the frame. He turned it over and paused over it.

He looked at David.

He looked back at the gift.

“David.” Patrick smiled. “David, I love it. Thank you.”

“That’s a good memory. Right? A _really good_ memory.” David watched Patrick, hoping he’d be pleased.

“I thought we lost all of the flyers.” Patrick eyed the framed announcement and then looked back at David.

“A few of weeks ago when I was in the café, Twila handed me a couple. Said she was cleaning out under the counter and found them. Said she thought I might like them. There are two of them behind that glass in case we want another.”

Patrick ran his hand over the black frame. The white matting. And the flyer from their first open mic night. “It was a great night. What good memory for our wall. Thank you, David.”

Patrick stood and sat the frame on the table and came back to David.

“Now… I think I’d like to dance with my boyfriend.” He held out a hand to David.

“Yes, Mr. Brewer.” David said with a coy smile.

David opened his phone and found the song that they’d danced to earlier. Patrick shut the overhead light out and the bedside lamp cast a soft glow.

And Patrick pulled him in. He loved holding David and dancing with him. Especially while David wore the soft thin fabric of the clothes he slept in. Patrick’s hands encircled David’s waist. While his lips delivered soft kisses on David’s neck, his hands cupped David’s ass.

David’s arms around Patrick’s shoulders. The palm of one hand pressing soft circles into Patrick’s back while his other hand cupped the back of Patrick’s head.

They swayed. Patrick hummed while they kissed. While his lips trailed down David’s neck.

Patrick pressed his lips to David’s ear. “David.”

“Mmmm?” David pressed his hips forward.

“Do me a favor?” Patrick whispered.

“Mmmm?” David leaned his head closer to Patrick. He loved when Patrick whispered into his ear. It sent shivers down his leg.

“Put the sweater back on?” Patrick slid his hand inside David’s pants and squeezed his ass.

David felt his cock twitch at the request. Felt a kaleidoscope of butterflies set off in his stomach. He exhaled a slight laugh and he grinned as Patrick’s tongue darted out and licked him just below the ear.

David’s hand that had been on the back of Patrick’s head stroked down the back of Patrick’s neck. “Anything you want, Mr. Brewer.”

While David went to his cedar chest to pull out the sweater he’d folded and put away after his shower, Patrick leaned over and pulled the small box containing their supplies that David stored under his bed on the side that was near the window.

He watched David put the sweater on over his t-shirt. His eyes trailed down the black, to the grey, to settle on the little patches of white.

David stood still, enjoying every movement on Patrick’s face. Delighting in the slight pink that began to blush over his cheeks. Then David silently celebrated the flutter he felt deep in his belly at the sight of Patrick being turned on from across the room.

Patrick knew what excited David. Knew the position that David liked from time to time. He winked at David. Jerked his head, tilting it over toward the wall near Alexis’s make-shift desk.

David’s mouth drew up into a sideways smile. He arched an eyebrow. His breath caught in his chest.

In one swift move, Patrick grabbed David by the waist and pushed him backward until he was backed against the desk. David’s hands moved behind him and he pushed items out of the way. The clanking of the pencil cup and its contents spilling out caused them to laugh.

“Shhh.” Patrick quietly scolded him. “We don’t need your dad coming in here.”

David scooted up to sit on the desk. He wrapped his legs around Patrick’s waist. His arms around Patrick’s shoulders. Patrick’s hand on the back of David’s head pulled him in for a kiss that started rough, with teeth biting and tongues plunging but soon turned into something tender and slow.

David’s hands found Patrick’s forearms and his fingers lingered there as he felt the ridges of his muscles that shifted as Patrick moved.

Before David’s mind could register what was happening, Patrick yanked David off the desk to a standing position. His hands encircled David’s wrists and he turned David around so he was facing the desk. Facing the wall. His hands held behind him in one of Patrick’s.

David’s surprise showed with a high pitched, but quiet, “Oh!”

Patrick’s other hand tugged at the thin, soft fabric of David’s black pants. He released David’s hands and reached for the condom.

David quickly pushed all of Alexis’s things out of the way. He didn’t want to…get anything _on them_. He grinned to himself.

Patrick pushed the front of his own sweats down and reached for his hard, aching cock. He rolled the condom onto himself. He reached for the lube.

“Patrick.” David whispered. One of his hands moved to the wall in front of him, the other reached back to feel for Patrick. He arched his back, begging for touch. Begging for Patrick to fuck him.

“I know.” Patrick knew he was telling him to not worry about preparing him. To just… fuck him. The way he liked.

Patrick liked to take his time. Didn’t like it to be over too soon.

David, in a mood like this, liked it fast and rough. It _would_ be over too soon.

Patrick looked down at his cock. Hard. Lubed. Ready. He ran the head of his cock along David’s crack. He circled his hole.

“Patrick.” David again arched his back. Begging.

One hand at the base of his cock, his other hand eased around in front of David. His hand coming to rest on one of the little white patches on the sweater.

The head of his cock lined up to David’s entrance. David pressed back slowly while Patrick pressed forward. A low moan escaped David’s chest as he relaxed around Patrick. Patrick exhaled a sound of pleasure as his hand came around to join his other hand in pressing David’s hips backward.

David stood, fully clothed. His pants pulled down just below his hips. Both of his hands were against the wall, providing him leverage as he pressed back against Patrick. His legs spread. Standing against the desk as though he were being arrested. His head thrown back and tilted to the side so Patrick’s lips could continue doing that thing they did on his neck.

They moved in unison. A rhythm they both knew. David’s head fell forward. He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth. He moaned.

Patrick’s lips moved to the back of David’s neck.

One of Patrick’s hands grasped David’s cock. _Finally,_ David thought. _Fucking. Finally._

Patrick’s thumb glided over the head of his cock and pulled with it the precum that had begun to drip from his slit. He pulled his fist down David’s shaft, the precum gliding along the velvety skin in his grasp.

“Oh… Patrick.” David sighed on an exhale.  
  
The quiet words flowed out of Patrick as he whispered them over David’s shoulder. “You’re fucking beautiful, David. Goddamnit you turn me on. I wanted to take you like this on that dance floor tonight. Show him that you’re mine.”

“Yes.” David uttered. “Fuck, yes.”

Patrick’s movements became quicker. Harsher. He wanted to yell the words, but because there were people sleeping in the rooms that shared walls with theirs, he continued to speak. This time his voice low. Stern. Quiet. “You’re. Fucking. Mine.”

“Always, Mr. Brewer.” David panted quietly. “Yours. Always. Yours.”

++++++

They lay together, two grown men barely fitting in David’s small twin bed.

David rested half on his back and half on his side. His fingers drawing random shapes on Patrick’s bare back. He wore his t-shirt and black boxer briefs. His sweater safely tucked back in the cedar chest.

Patrick turned in toward him with his head resting on David’s shoulder. He wore only his snug tighty-whiteys. His fingers tucked under David’s shirt, playing with the hair on his chest.

Their legs intertwined. The room dark.

“That was not how I envisioned our first Valentine’s Day.” David said quietly. He kissed Patrick’s forehead.

“Me either.” Patrick grinned. His eyes closed. His hands still exploring David’s chest. They would _never_ tire of exploring his chest.

“It was good, though. Right?” David asked him. His hand moving back to Patrick’s arms. _God, I love these arms._

“Every day with you is great, David.” Patrick pressed his nose into David’s chest and inhaled. He relaxed on the exhalation. Letting go of the years of stress over making sure Valentine’s Day was planned and perfect. Content in the knowledge that David didn’t need this holiday to be what she needed.

They lay in each other’s arms. Fingers touching skin. Breathing in sync. Listening to music. Content. Drifting in and out of sleep.

And though they didn’t know it at the time, that night they started a tradition that would last for the rest of their lives.

Every Valentine’s Day thereafter, would have no big bells or whistles. Maybe some flowers. Maybe some chocolates. Maybe something for their memory wall. Sometimes there would be family. Sometimes friends.

But every Valentine’s would end with just the two of them. Dancing quietly in their pajamas followed by the hushed sounds of sex. So as not to wake whomever slept on the other side of the bedroom wall.

++


	5. Life’s For The Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon Moira's return to town, David and Patrick made plans to spend the weekend together. Their plans seem to be thwarted after a man in an aubergine hoodie comes into the store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place before, during, and after 5.02. 
> 
> ***** WARNING*****  
> Though I don't write the actual "Stick up" (as it is described in the episode notes) that appears in Episode 5.02, the robbery is discussed. If reading about the feelings involved after being a victim of such a situation triggers you, please do not read this chapter.  
> *** END of Warning***  
> (A little data for my friends who like this sort of thing. This chapter marks my 60th chapter about David and Patrick. It marks my 80th chapter in my LOL series)
> 
> My note:  
> This episode left me with a lot of unresolved feelings when it aired over a year ago. Like some of you, I had feelings about the actions and reactions of both men. I believe, for me, the real issue was the lack of resolution that I think we often are fortunate to see in other episodes. 
> 
> From the moment the episode aired I thought about how I might write it. I started to try to do so on many occasions, but in earnest I began work on it in December. Here we are a year and a handful of weeks after it aired and I, for the first time, feel like I have closure on it. I am happy with it. (And I've said before, I write for me - what makes me happy. And when I post, it is nice to learn that sometimes it makes some of you happy. *Shoulder shrug emoji*)
> 
> My ending may not be what YOU want or need. But, I have learned this week that it was exactly what I needed. Because now when I think of this episode, I think of what happened BEFORE the man in the aubergine hoodie shows up. And I think of what happened AFTER the law enforcement officer left. I think of what happens in the words you are going to read below. And my David and Patrick are comforted and happy. 
> 
> Finally, I'd like to say that I am a social worker (not a shock to any of you who read all my work regularly). In fact, I am a "Jane Addams Social Worker." And one of my most favorite stories about her is when she was asleep in Hull House (Look it up) one night, a man broke into her room to rob her. Instead of fighting, instead of cowering, Jane sat up and asked the man why he was doing what he was doing. She asked him what he REALLY needed. The man told her that he wanted work, and there were no jobs to be had. She told the man to return to Hull House the following morning and she would do everything she could to help him find a job. He did. She did. 
> 
> I say this to warn you that I wrote an ending that is optional reading. At the end of my David/Patrick chapter is my customary "++" to mark the end of the chapter. 
> 
> Then you will find a notation that indicates ++++++Social Worker’s Ending ++++++, because I needed to have a resolution for the man in the aubergine hoodie. Because, in the world where I want to live (a world like Schitt's Creek), a man doesn't rob a store with no gun unless he is a man who just needs help. So, I gave him a Jane Addams' ending. 
> 
> For those of you who find that to be a ridiculous notion, you can stop at the "++" and have a good, solid ending. For those of you who want to join me in my Social Worker ending, you can read on. 
> 
> Whichever ending you choose.... I hope you enjoy.  
> *Red heart emoji*
> 
> Don't you cry for the lost  
> Smile for the living  
> Get what you need and give what you're given  
> Life's for the living so live it  
> Or you're better off dead  
> ++

++++++

When Patrick turned off the shower, his phone that set by the sink vibrated with an incoming text. And then another. And then another. And another.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and quickly picked up his phone.

_Hottie I have sex with (7:22 am):_

‘Patrick’

‘Patrick’

‘OMG’

‘Answer me.’

‘Answer me.’

‘Patrick! Wake up!’

_You (7:25 am):_

‘I’m here. I’m here.’

‘WHAT’S WRONG?’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:25 am):_

‘She’s home

‘She’s home!’

‘SHE’S FUCKING HOME!!!!!’

_You (7:25 am):_

‘How is she? How was it? How was the shoot?’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:25 am):_

‘Who the fuck cares? She’s home. I can spend the night whenever I want!’

‘I mean – whenever you want.’

_You (7:25 am):_

‘WE care, David.’

‘and I always want’ *Winking face emoji*

Patrick leaned against the sink. His towel loosened and nearly fell. He grabbed it and tucked it in around himself again.

_Hottie I have sex with (7:26 am):_

‘She’s fine. She’s high on uppers, but she’ll come down soon enough.’

‘Point is, we can fuck. Tonight. Tomorrow night. Any night.’

*Peach emoji* *Eggplant emoji*

_You (7:26 am):_

‘David’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:26 am):_

‘That’s your ass.’ *Peach emoji*

‘I love your ass.’ *Peach emoji*

‘It’s perfect.’ *Peach emoji*

Patrick smiled at his phone while his dick reacted to what David texted. He shifted as he leaned against the sink. His towel came loose again.

_You (7:26 am):_

‘Why are you up so early?’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:27 am):_

‘She came in around 330 and woke us up. She hasn’t been able to quiet down since.’

‘Ended up with her sitting on my bed telling stories while we all tried to sleep.’

_You (7:27 am):_

‘Your dad must be so happy.’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:27 am):_

‘Yes.’

_You (7:27 am):_

‘You going to try to get some sleep?’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:28 am):_

‘No sleep to be had here. I’m coming in.’

‘Maybe nap in the office this morning if it’s slow.’

_You (7:28 am):_

‘David’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:28 am):_

‘What?’

_You (7:28 am):_

‘It’s Saturday.’

Patrick tugged at his towel and let it fall open. He palmed the head of his firming dick.

_Hottie I have sex with (7:28 am):_

‘I know.’

_You (7:29 am):_

‘Short day’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:29 am):_

‘What do you have in mind?’

_You (7:29 am):_

‘We haven’t used the two-night stay and treatments at Elmdale Spa that we bought at the center’s fundraiser in December…’ *Shoulder shrug emoji*

_Hottie I have sex with (7:29 am):_

‘Patrick.’

_You (7:29 am):_

‘Want me to call and see if they have any open rooms?’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:30 am):_

‘YES PLEASE!’

_You (7:30 am):_

‘It may be too late of a notice for a spa treatment.’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:30 am):_

‘I don’t fucking care about the spa treatments.’

‘All I care about is your’ *Farmer emoji* *Eggplant emoji*

‘And your’ *Peach emoji*

Patrick smiled. His hand was on his cock, stroking it.

He took a breath and asked for something he’d been thinking about.

_You (7:30 am):_

‘Would you pack the blue ribbon?’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:31 am):_

‘Fuck’

‘Yes’

‘I need to go get in the shower.’

_You (7:31 am):_

‘David’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:31 am):_

‘What?’

Patrick took a deep breath. He’d been patient for the last several weeks, but he was done waiting.

He wanted David to know he was done waiting.

His cock was hard.

And, for the first time in their relationship…

_You (7:32 am):_

*Patrick sent David a picture of his dick*

Patrick waited.

And he waited.

And he began to worry.

Until…

_Hottie I have sex with (7:33 am):_

*David sent Patrick a picture of his dick*

Patrick smiled and exhaled.

_You (7:33 am):_

‘I’ll see you soon, Babe.’

_Hottie I have sex with (7:33 am):_

‘You’ll see a lot of me soon.’

‘Now leave me alone so I can get ready for the day.’

‘I’m packing a bag. Whether we go to Elmdale or not, I’m staying with you for the weekend.’

Patrick tapped his phone and opened the photo David sent him. He set his phone on the edge of the sink. He leaned against the door. He wrapped his hand around his firm cock. Ran his thumb over its sensitive head, teasing out precum that he could draw down his shaft to help lube his efforts.

He imagined slowly unraveling David. Taking his time with him.

And he imagined David using the ribbon to tie him up.

And Patrick jacked off into his towel.

++++++

They worked most of the morning with a flush on their skin. Each man had a twinkle in his eye. A skip in his heartbeat. Each enjoying the anticipation they hadn’t experienced for some time.

Patrick’s stomach did flip flops. His dick was aware of David’s every move. It had been a long time since they’d be alone. _Truly_ alone. And Patrick was hungry for him.

It felt decadent to think of spending more than one night together. In the days since his mother had been on set, shooting her movie, David hadn’t spent more than one night a week away from the motel. And it was just that, a night. David spent every evening after work with his dad and Alexis. Even on nights he spent with Patrick, he had meals with his father and didn’t go to see Patrick until it was near bed time. One. Night. A week.

Sure. They’d had sexual encounters. A quick hand job in the back-storage room. Or blow job in the office. Patrick occasionally bent David over the desk. Or Patrick straddled David on the couch. But no lingering.

There was a time that quick sexual encounters were enough for David. They were his modus operandi. And he realized in the last six weeks how far removed from that way of life he had become. He realized how much he had grown to love the time with Patrick where they were together…for hours…taking their time. _Connecting_.

David was ready for it all to return. The thought of lounging with him again. Touching. Making out. Talking. Laughing. Reading. Listening to Patrick play guitar. Even cuddled in his arms bingeing Interflix. Any connection would be a welcome respite from whatever their relationship had become while David was giving his all to his family.

Patrick brought his work out of the office and into the store so he could be in the same room as David. Concentrating while in a different room was out of the question, because he couldn’t get his mind off David. He worked at the front counter. Completed payroll. Wrote the monthly checks to the vendors. Paid the bills. It was easier to do with David in the room.

David stocked shelves. He would go to the back-storage area, get a box, empty it on the proper shelf, and then go stand behind Patrick and slowly run his hands over Patrick’s round ass. Or, let his hand press firm against Patrick’s crotch. Or, stand behind Patrick, wrap his arms around him, press his palms to Patrick’s chest and then let his hands roam up and down his abdomen and chest. Or, pull down the back of Patrick’s collar and wordlessly kiss his neck at that spot that turned him on. Then he’d go to the back-storage area and get another box.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. 

The store was mostly quiet and Patrick worked as quickly as he could. Or, rather, when the touching started… as _best_ he could. When David would come near, he’d pretend to be calculating something, but he clearly wasn’t able to concentrate so he wouldn’t let himself write anything. He shut his eyes and let David’s hands roam. Shut his eyes as David’s lips grazed the back of his neck. David was driving him crazy. His dick was hard and pressed firmly against the denim cage of his tight jeans. And Patrick couldn’t wait to get him alone. In a room. And take his time. _Fucking_ him senseless.

At one point, Patrick dropped his pen and turned quickly and pulled David into his arms.

“Oh!” A quick sound came out of David’s chest.

Patrick pushed his back against the wall. The framed business license tilted on its nail. Patrick’s hand reached down and under the fabric panel that wrapped like a skirt around David’s pants. He grabbed David’s crotch. His fingers found the outline of David’s firm cock.

Patrick’s caramel brown eyes looked into David’s dark brown eyes.

“I’m going to take you back to that couch and _fuck_ you if you don’t settle down.” He told David.

“I believe you’re mistaken if you think that threat is going to stop me.” David quirked an eyebrow. He twisted his mouth into a grin that told Patrick he was pleased that he had, quite literally, gotten a rise out of Patrick. Calm. Patient. Patrick. 

Patrick pressed his hand firmly against David’s crotch. “My mistake. I didn’t intend for it to be a threat.” His hand squeezed David’s dick through his pants. “It was…more of a promise.”

Patrick’s eyes moved. From David’s left to his right eye. Back and forth. Then… _finally_ … he looked down at David’s lips. He paused only briefly before he pressed into him. David’s hand wrapped to the back of Patrick’s head, pulling him in.

A fervent, intense kiss.

Lips. Tongues. Teeth. Hungry and full of an unmet need.

Patrick pressed his hips forward. His hard cock aching to feel David against him.

The bell above the door rang as it opened.

“Fuck.” David said quietly into Patrick’s mouth. He rolled his head back in frustration.

Patrick quickly pulled away. He turned toward the door.

“Didn’t mean to interrupt.” Stevie said dryly.

++++++

While David and Stevie went to the café for mid-morning muffins and coffee, Patrick called the Elmdale Spa to see if, at late notice, they had a room available for two nights. They did. Though their appointments were mostly booked, they put Patrick down on the wait list for the treatments that were included in the package they purchased. Massage for two. Manicures and pedicures for two. Facials for two. Patrick told the gentleman he spoke to that if anything opened up for one, he wanted to be notified. As far as Patrick was concerned, he didn’t need any of the treatments, but David… well… after the last six weeks, David deserved all the spa treatments they could muster.

David and Stevie returned from the café and David locked eyes with him. Patrick winked at him and David raised his eyebrows.

“You two need to get a room.” Stevie mumbled sarcastically. She plopped down in a chair and sipped her coffee.

“I just did.” Patrick said with a slight grin.

++++++

Since the store had been slow all day, they decided to close a little early. Patrick decided to get the money from the register and run to the bank before it closed for the morning. He planned to put in their deposit and get the float for Monday.

He took the deposit and left the store.

David stood at the register and ran through the online orders they’d filled for the week to be sure they were recorded on their inventory list.

David asked Stevie to go to the back-storage area to get a box of wine to stock the cooler.

“Only if I get to take a bottle for helping today.” She told him.

“MKay.” He grinned at her. He was in a very agreeable mood.

He was about to embark upon what he was labeling a two-night sex-cation with his boyfriend. A touch-a-thon. A grind-fest. A condom-filled carnival.

And what Patrick was calling a much-needed time away.

The bell over the door rang. _I thought Patrick locked that?_ Was his first thought.

It was then that he looked up and saw the man in the aubergine hooded sweatshirt who wore a knitted cap that covered his face.

++++++

Patrick arrived at the store and the door was locked. _Odd_ , he thought as he reached for his keys.

He walked in the door and David flew out of the back office and before Patrick could take note of what was happening, David was in his arms. “Patrick!”

He could tell by David’s voice something had happened. “What? What is it?” He asked David.

He looked over David’s shoulder and saw Stevie. Eyes wide. Arms crossed in front of herself.

“He had a gun…and a mask.” David said breathlessly.

“WHAT?!” Patrick pulled away from David so he could see his face. “Are you ok?” He asked David.

He turned to Stevie, “Are you two OK?”

++++++

Patrick hung up the phone. He sat at the desk in the office. He had called the area police and then he called the insurance company. He watched David who stood in the doorway talking quietly to Stevie. They seemed to be arguing.

“Hey. You two. Stop bickering. It’s OK.” Patrick said. “You did what you had to do.”

“It was… Patrick… it was just… scary.” David said.

“Really scary.” A non-emotional Stevie echoed him.

“It must have been terrifying. I mean… a gun! I don’t know what I’d do.” Patrick rubbed David’s back. “So scary.”

“Really scary.” Stevie said again.

“How about I go get us some tea? That sound good?” He asked. He kissed David on the temple.

“I don’t want you to leave.” David held on to his arm with both hands.

“Just lock the door. I’ll be right across the street. The police will be here soon.” Patrick said. He kissed David again and left the store.

Patrick berated himself as he walked to the café.

“Hi Patrick. What’s up?” Twyla greeted him.

While she made their teas, Patrick told her about the robbery. “Be careful Twyla. I imagine he’s gone. Out of town. But… just be careful.”

“OK.” Her face screwed up into a question, “What color did you say his sweat shirt was?”

“Ummm…. Purple?… I think?” Patrick took the drinks and headed to the Apothecary.

++++++

The officer left the store.

David and Stevie remained seated in their chairs and looked up at Patrick.

Patrick, with one hand on his waist, ran his other hand over his face. Then ran it back over his short hair.

Hand still held at the back of his neck, he sighed.

He looked at them. Then he turned around, wordlessly, and left the room.

He went to the restroom and shut the door soundly.

++++++

David, still sitting in the chair turned to look at her. “So… we _shouldn’t_ have been scared?”

“I was scared.” Stevie told him.

“I just wanted him out.” David said.

“He didn’t have a gun.” Stevie said. Her eyes shifted to the side.

“Damnit, I know.” David said quietly. He stood.

Just then he jolted and looked toward the back of the store when he heard Patrick yell, “FUCK!” And he heard a noise like someone hitting the wall.

“I’m going to go.” She did not hesitate to grab her cross-body bag. “Um…can I have that bottle of wine you promised me?”

He sighed. He pointed to the cooler.

“Mother Fucker!” They heard Patrick yell from the bathroom.

She looked at David with large eyes. She quickly went to the cooler, pulled out a bottle of red, stuck it in her bag and left.

He stood behind her and waved his hands as if to shoo her out of the store quicker.

He locked the door, moved the sign to indicate that they were closed. He went into the office and sat on the couch to wait for Patrick.

He was angry at himself. He was embarrassed. He was frustrated that he didn’t handle the situation better. And… he was disappointed that Patrick was angry.

There were too many emotions to process. So, he stopped.

He pulled his legs up under himself. He pulled his arms around himself.

He waited.

++++++

He didn’t need to use the restroom. He just wanted space between himself and… those two.

What he wanted to do was leave the store. Just walk away and let them sit in their own mess. But he had promised he wouldn’t walk away from things and he would stick around and deal. So, he opted for the next best thing.

With the bathroom door shut, Patrick leaned over the sink. A hand on each side of it.

He breathed deeply.

He looked into the mirror.

 _I’m so glad he’s OK._ Patrick thought to himself, pushing from his mind the terrible images that had flooded in when he first saw the fear in David’s face.

They’d never done drills. Never planned on what would happen if someone with a gun came into the store.

David hadn’t been prepared and that was Patrick’s fault. Patrick knew the importance of being prepared. He was a Boy Scout for crissakes. It was the damn motto.

But… damnit. The guy _didn’t_ have a gun. He didn’t.

He was going to have to call the insurance company back. He was going to have to tell them he was wrong; David hadn’t been robbed by someone with a gun.

Patrick was angry. He wasn’t sure with whom. David? Himself? Stevie? The man who robbed them? He wasn’t sure. But one thing he knew was sure…he was filled with a lot of emotions and he needed to sit with them. Think about them. Process them.

Patrick ran the water until it was very cold. He splashed it on his face. He used a paper towel to dry himself. When he turned off the faucet, the tile fell off the wall again.

“FUCK!” Patrick said loudly. He smacked the wall with the palm of his hand. A second tile fell off the wall.

Patrick sighed and leaned over to pick up the tiles. On his way to stand back up, he bumped his head on the bottom of the sink.

“Mother Fucker!” He yelled as he pressed his palm to the back of his head.

++++++

Patrick left the restroom and scanned the store. He saw neither Harold nor Kumar.

Stevie must have left.

He shook his head and then ran his hand over the bump that was forming on the back of his head. He made his way to the office and poked his head into the room. He saw David. _Turtling_ on the couch.

Patrick instantly felt guilty.

“Hey.” Patrick said softly from the door to the office.

David looked up at him. Eyes damp. He shook his head. Cleared his throat. “Hi.” He said quietly.

Patrick slowly walked over to the couch and sat. Turned to face David.

David unturtled himself. Faced Patrick.

Patrick’s hand gently cupped David’s cheek. His thumb swiped at the single tear that had escaped David’s eye.

“I’m sorry, Patrick.” David whispered. His eyes couldn’t meet Patrick’s.

“No. Babe. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Patrick’s other hand found David’s hand and held it.

“Are you mad at me?” David asked him. His breath caught in his chest.

“No. No, no. David. I’m just… mad at the situation. Frustrated…maybe…is a better word.” Patrick said. He dropped his hand to David’s shoulder. He squeezed him.

“You were yelling in the restroom.” David said.

“The tile… it fell again…” Patrick pointed his finger over his shoulder in the direction of the restroom.

“Oh.” David nodded. He looked down at his hands. Twisted the rings on his right hand.

“It’s fine, David. Really. I’m not angry.” He tried to reassure David with a smile. 

“I’m angry.” David said quietly.

Patrick’s eyes met his.

“I’m angry at you.” David clarified.

The shock registered on Patrick’s face.

“And… I don’t want to go to the spa with you, Patrick. I want to go home.” David stood and retrieved his weekend bag from behind the desk.

“Whoa. Whoa.” Patrick said. He moved quickly to David. “David. Don’t go. Stay here and talk to me.” He reached out for David’s arm. Held it with his hand.

David wrenched his arm away from Patrick. “Patrick. Stop.” David said sternly.

Patrick held his hands up in front of him, indicating he would keep his hands to himself. “Sorry, David. Just… please stay and talk to me. I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” David set his bag down on the desk. Waved one hand in front of him.

“For upsetting you.” Patrick said earnestly.

David shook his head and picked up his bag and headed out of the office. As he was unlocking the front door, Patrick moved to stand behind the register. “For blaming you. I’m sorry for blaming you, David. That was wrong of me.”

David shut the door and set his bag down on the floor. He waited. Chin raised in defiance. His eyes looking down his nose, across the room at his boyfriend. “Why. Why was it wrong, Patrick?”

“Because you did the best you could in the moment you were in. You thought he had a gun.”

“I thought… he had… a gun, Patrick.” David echoed. Bending his knees and pointing his finger in the air to accentuate his point.

“And I had taken all the money out of the store. Had I not done that…”

“Well _that’s_ not your fault.” David walked toward the register. Stood across from Patrick.

“It was. And it was my fault that we didn’t ever have a drill. You didn’t know what to do. I didn’t prepare you.” Patrick said. He reached a hand over to cover David’s.

“Didn’t _prepare_ me?” David jerked his hand away from Patrick’s. He shook his head. “What _the fuck_ does that mean? _Prepare_ me?”

“I mean we have emergency plans,” Patrick said. “We’ve gone over what happens if there’s a fire. What happens if the sink breaks. What happens if we come here in the morning and the place has been broken into. I just… living here in this town… I never thought we’d have to have an emergency plan for what happens if we’re robbed.”

“How is that _your_ fault?” David asked. One hand on his hip. The other waved in front of Patrick.

“I just… I mean to keep you safe.” Patrick tried to explain himself, but only made matters worse.

“So, I’m not capable of that? Keeping myself safe?” David asked, his voice high and full of frustration.

“I didn’t mean…”

“I feel like I did a _pretty good job_ of keeping myself and Stevie safe today.” David said.

“But…”

David held up a finger. “Patrick Brewer. I swear… if you say he didn’t have a gun, I’m going to…”

Patrick stood in silence. He pressed his lips together.

David looked at him and shook his head. He turned and picked up his bag. “Take me home, Patrick. I don’t want to walk through town with this weekend bag.” He opened the door and marched to Patrick’s car.

Patrick locked the store and followed David.

While they drove toward the motel, David’s phone vibrated. He read the incoming text and muttered to himself.

“What?” Patrick asked him.

“It’s Alexis.” David said quietly.

“Everything OK?” Patrick asked.

In a plaintive voice, David said, “I don’t want to go there, Patrick. Mom is still awake and on some rant about some letters. I just… Don’t take me there.”

David sighed. “Fuck.” He whispered to himself. He leaned his head back against the headrest of his seat.

Without hesitation, without comment, Patrick turned the car and drove in the opposite direction. Toward Elmdale.

++++++

David waited in the car while Patrick checked in. He texted Stevie to tell her where he was. She was a full bottle of wine in and he knew he didn’t have to worry about her. She was fine.

He shot a text to Alexis so she knew where he’d be over the weekend. He didn’t bother to text his parents. They were clearly, already, into their own situation.

David was still dealing with a lot of emotions. He knew he could push them away. It was something he’d done plenty of in the past. But it wasn’t something he was used to doing with Patrick.

He watched Patrick walk out of the building’s front doors and toward the car.

_Patrick._

Blue button up shirt, tucked into his snug mid-range denim pants. Braided leather belt. Hands tucked into his pockets. Serious little business man.

He had his head down and when he came nearer the car, he lifted his eyes and looked at David. _Damnit._ David thought to himself. _He’s so fucking cute_.

++++++

All morning, Patrick had envisioned them making out in the elevator. Feeling each other up as they made their way down the hall. Tearing clothes off as they opened the door.

Their current reality was much different.

They didn’t speak as they walked into the building. They stood on opposite sides of the small elevator. Between them was a large older man in a robe who looked as though he had just returned from the world’s longest schvitz, and a young couple in work-out clothes making out as though one of them had just returned from war.

They made their way around the others to disembark at their floor. David followed Patrick down a long hall.

Patrick unlocked the room and swung the door open for David to enter first. Patrick followed him into the room.

“This is the honeymoon suite.” David said dryly.

“It is.” Patrick nodded his head.

“Why do we have this room? Did you tell them we’re married?” David shot at Patrick.

“No. Why would I tell them we’re married?” Patrick asked defensively.

“Because they… never mind. Why do we have this suite?” David asked.

“They only had two rooms left when I called this morning. This one had a tub, so…”

“I’ve stayed in this room before.” David put his overnight bag on the desk near the bed.

_Damnit._

“Oh?” Patrick put his bag beside David’s.

“With Stevie.” David said. Hands on his waist. He surveyed the room.

“Oh…” Patrick said quietly. Brow furrowed.

“No. Not like that. When we…” David waved his hand between the two of them “…when we were… in our dark period.”

“Oh.” Patrick nodded and paused. “Do you want me to call and ask for a different room?”

David waved his hand. “No. It’s fine.” He moved to the bed and pulled the blankets up to start his bedbug check.

Patrick, hands on his waist, watched David. Shook his head. Went to the restroom and stood. Took a deep breath. Waited a moment and headed back out of the room.

“Patrick. Wash your hands. Flush the toilet.” David looked up from the bed with irritation in his voice.

“I didn’t go.” Patrick’s voice gave David a glimpse of his irritation. “I just went in there to not have to watch you do the bedbug check.”

“One of these days I’m going to find one and you’ll be glad I do it.” David said over his shoulder.

“Have you ever… in your _whole life_ … found one?” Patrick asked him.

“No. But… OK. All done.” David brushed his hands together at the end of his task as he stood and looked at Patrick from across the room.

Patrick stood motionless and willed himself to breathe deeply.

“David. Come dance with me.” Patrick held out a hand. If they could just get into that space where they were both able to connect, they’d be OK. Dancing always brought them out of their funk.

David shook his head. “No. I’m going to take a nap.” He took hold of the top cover of the bed and pulled it down, exposing the maroon pillows with the words “In. Love.” written on them.

He rolled his eyes and sat on the side of the bed. Pulled his shoes off and then stood, he shrugged off his sweater and tossed it on the settee in the corner. He unfastened his pants and took them off; tossed them onto the settee. He lay down on his back. Black boxer briefs. White t-shirt. Hands resting on his chest. Eyes closed.

Patrick sighed and toed off his shoes. “I’m going to go to the gym.”

“The spa has a gym?” David asked. Eyes still closed.

“It does. But I’m not going there. I’m going to _my_ gym.” Patrick needed to get out and the comfort of his own gym would help him think.

David raised up on his elbow and looked at Patrick. He shook his head. “M’Kay?” he said with a bit of a challenge in his voice.

Patrick turned his back to David and unbuttoned his shirt. Draped it over the back of the chair. He unfastened his belt and jeans and pushed them down his legs.

David rolled and faced him. Watched him bend over. Patrick’s ass covered in snug white underwear.

Patrick stood and dug through his bag. He pushed down his underwear, let it fall to his feet.

David watched him. Watched Patrick’s bare round ass. _My god I love that fucking ass._

Patrick bent over and stepped into his jock strap. Picked up his underwear and put it in his bag. He adjusted himself.

David watched him.

He pulled on his shorts and then sat on the side of the bed. Put on his socks and shoes. His back stiffened when he felt David’s hand lightly touch his lower back.

“Patrick.” David whispered.

“David.” Patrick stood and pulled a t-shirt out of his bag and pulled it over his head. He turned and looked at David.

“Don’t go. Stay here.” David asked.

“I think we both need a little space right now.” Patrick said.

“Patrick.”

“David.” Patrick put his hands on his waist. Bowed his head to look at his feet. He looked up at David without raising his head. “I love you. I’ve messed up today. A lot. I need to just go work it out in my brain. I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

Patrick grabbed his car keys. His phone. The hotel room key. His earbuds. His wallet. He crammed all of them into the pockets of his shorts.

David stifled a grin at how much he could jam into his pockets. “See you later.” David said. “Love you.”

After he left, David rolled over onto his back. He stared at the ceiling.

++++++

Patrick was quiet when he entered the room, knowing David was probably still napping. He was. Resting on his side, facing the door. He paused and looked at the peaceful look on David’s face.

Patrick went to the restroom. Relieved himself. Washed his hands. Ran a cool washcloth over his face. Around his neck.

He toed off his shoes, leaving them on the floor. He lay down on the bed, resting on his back. He made sure to leave plenty of space between the two of them. David hadn’t wanted to touch him since the incident.

One hand behind his head. Legs crossed at the ankles. Patrick stared at the ceiling. He thought about how differently the day was ending than he’d imagined. He shut his eyes and willed himself to drift to sleep.

David, eyes closed, heard the door open and listened as Patrick went to the restroom. He smiled when he heard the sink run. He waited and relief washed over him when he felt the mattress shift under Patrick’s weight.

David scooted toward him. Without asking. Without words. He sidled up to him. He picked up Patrick’s arm and tucked himself under it. Rested his head on Patrick’s shoulder. Wiggled his body until he found a comfortable position. Rested his left hand on Patrick’s chest.

Patrick felt him move. He kept his eyes closed. Felt David pick up his arm and tuck under it. Patrick lay still but accommodated him. Wrapped his arm down David’s back. Patted him softly. A silent message between them that the cuddle was consensual.

“I thought he had a gun.” David said quietly.

“I know.” Patrick told him.

“And then when I realized he didn’t? It wasn’t worth it. I didn’t want the struggle. I didn’t know what to do.” David admitted.

“I know. And it’s OK. Your safety… it’s worth far more than the cost of what he took.” Patrick’s hand rubbed David’s back. Soothed them both.

They lay in the quiet.

“I was mad at myself for closing early.” Patrick said.

David remained quiet.

“I was mad at myself for not locking the door behind myself.” Patrick said.

“I could have locked it.” David told him.

“I focused on him not having a gun and didn’t think about what you felt when you thought he did have a gun.” Patrick said.

“I was scared. I just wanted him to go away.” David said. “Gun or not… I just wanted him to leave. I’d have given him more to just… _leave_.”

“I know. And…I was angry that we have no way of knowing who it was. Keep it from happening again.” Patrick said.

David shook his head. “I doubt he’ll be back.”

“I hope you’re right.” Patrick said.

David patted Patrick’s chest. “He seemed a little…out of his element.”

“OK.” Patrick said.

David’s fingers began to draw shapes on Patrick’s chest. Patrick turned his head toward David. Their lips came together. Gentle. Comforting. Sweet, make-up kisses. Slowly reconnecting and soothing one another.

David shifted. Raised himself up on an elbow. Snaked a leg in between Patrick’s, who spread his legs to accommodate David’s body.

David settled between them and pressed his hips against Patrick.

“Oouch. God, Patrick.” David said with a harsh tone.

“What?” Patrick looked down between their bodies.

“You have your keys in there or something?” David rubbed his hip.

“Oh… yeah. Sorry.” Patrick dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out his key ring that contained keys to the car, the Apothecary, Ray’s house, and two other keys that David could only assume belonged to something at the Brewer farm. Patrick tossed the keys on the table by the bed.

“Keep going. Get everything out of there.” David sat back on his knees. Waved his hand in a circle in the air over Patrick’s crotch.

Patrick put his hand in his pocket and pulled out his wallet. Tossed it on the table.

He reached back in and pulled out his ear buds. He tossed them on the table.

“The other pocket.” David pointed at the pocket on the other side of his shorts.

Patrick pulled out his hotel room key. His phone. A handful of mints he clearly stole from the hotel lobby.

“My _god_.” David pulled his chin back and shook his head.

“What?” Patrick asked, shrugging his shoulders.

David smiled. “Nothing. Are you done?”

Patrick patted his thighs. “Yeah.”

David’s hand cupped Patrick’s cock. It responded immediately to the familiar touch. “There it is. It was lost among all the treasures you had in your pockets.”

Patrick put both hands behind his head and grinned up at David. “I don’t think it would have _gotten lost_.”

David settled himself back over Patrick. Patrick bent one of his knees. His foot flat on the mattress. The foot of his other leg wrapped around David’s leg. His cock firm against the pressure of David’s body.

David’s lips ran along the base of Patrick’s neck. Tasted the salt of his dried sweat.

One of Patrick’s hands buried into David’s hair. The other tucked into the back of his underwear.

David’s hips rolled, pressing into Patrick. With little fabric between them, their cocks both responded to being side by side against the pressure of their bodies.

Though they both made sounds of pleasure. Groans of satisfaction. Neither spoke.

Patrick turned his head. Held David’s head with both hands. Their lips locked in a sensual, slow, wet kiss. David pulled Patrick’s bottom lip into his mouth. Patrick’s bold tongue fucked David’s mouth.

David pulled back. Rested his weight on his elbows on each side of Patrick. Patrick’s hands still on David’s face.

“You OK?” Patrick asked.

“I worry when you’re mad at me… it’s going to be over.” David said quietly.

Patrick shook his head. He kissed David gently. “Anger is … just an emotion. It doesn’t cause you to break up.”

“OK.” David said.

Patrick’s thumb brushed David’s cheek. “You’ve never told me before when you were angry at me.”

“I’ve been mad at you before.” David said. His eyes shifted to look at Patrick’s forehead.

“I know. But today you told me. That’s kind of a big deal.” Patrick said.

“Is it…I mean… It’s OK…right?” David asked. His eyes looked into Patrick’s

Patrick smiled at him. Pulled his face in for another kiss. “David. You feel safe enough when you’re mad at me to tell me that. Of course, it’s OK. I’m sorry… I’m sorry about today.”

David shook his head and moved. Rested his cheek on Patrick’s chest. “No more apologies. I want to move on.”

“David.” Patrick said quietly. He waited for David to respond.

“David.” Patrick resisted the urge to roll them so he would be on top of David.

David shifted back up onto his elbows. Looked at Patrick.

“I love you.” Patrick said quietly. He ran a hand over David’s hair. Settled a hand on the back of David’s head. Urged him forward so that they could kiss again.

David’s lips lightly touched Patrick’s. “I love you Mr. Brewer.” He whispered against Patrick’s lips.

Their lips came together again. Their hunger all the greater. Damp lips. Urgent in their need.

David moved his lips from Patrick’s to work their way along his jaw and toward his ear.

David exhaled near Patrick’s ear, eliciting another moan out of him.

Both of Patrick’s hands moved down David’s t-shirt and slid up under it. His hands slid up the warm flesh of David’s back. Slid down his sides. Tucked into the back of his underwear. Patrick’s hands never stopping as they cupped his ass. Squeezed him. Made small, gentle circles on his flesh.

David’s elbows on the mattress on each side of Patrick allowed for his hands to slide under him and hold on to Patrick’s shoulders. He rocked his body over Patrick. Reveled in the feeling of their bodies responding to one another. No pressure. Just kissing. Licking. Caressing. Rocking.

As they quietly reconnected over a seventh-inning stretch that left them, arms intertwined.

Relaxed and happy.

Forgiven.

++++++

They spent the weekend in each other’s arms. Touching. Talking.

Patrick read. David slept.

David watched cooking shows on television. Patrick Slept.

They made love. They fucked.

No bells. No whistles.

No ribbons. No belts.

Lots of room service. Several bubble baths.

Just the two of them. Being with each other. Making up.

Blissfully happy.

The spa ended up having a few openings.

There was one facial, Patrick insisted David enjoy it. “You like them, David. You take it. I’ll just stay here and read.”

One pedicure, David insisted Patrick use it. “Your feet are like monsters right now. Get that shit taken care of. I’m going with you… make sure they do it right.”

The spa gave them a certificate for a massage for two to replace what wasn’t used. Patrick tucked it into his wallet.

On Saturday night, they danced while they were at the spa’s bar, even though there wasn’t a dance floor. They made out in the elevator on the way back to the room. 

They grabbed their sleep in catnaps. They emptied the box of condoms.

On Sunday afternoon, they drove back home. Both satiated and exhausted.

They headed home knowing that they were good. And they were happy knowing that they would be getting back to their regular time together now that David’s mom was home to keep his dad company.

David rested his hand on Patrick’s thigh, leaned his seat back, and happily rode back to Schitt’s Creek.

++

++++++

Social Worker’s Ending

++++++

“Patrick.” David reached over and grabbed Patrick’s arm. “Patrick. Look.”

“What?” Patrick said. He looked over at the Schitt’s Creek Park where David pointed.

“That guy. Look at what he has wrapped around his waist. It’s the hoodie. The aubergine hoodie.”

A young man and woman walked with child between them. Each holding the little girl’s hands. The man had a hoodie tied around his waist.

“David. Anybody could have a sweatshirt that color.” Patrick argued.

Patrick turned the car around and drove by again. “Look at the tote she’s carrying.” She carried, over her shoulder, a Rose Apothecary tote.

“That doesn’t mean anything, David. Everyone in town has one or more of those by now.” Patrick was being practical.

“I’m telling you. _That’s_ the hoodie.” David said.

Patrick pulled over and parked the car.

“What are you doing?” David’s said with panic in his voice.

“Just stay here.” Patrick said to him.

“Don’t hurt him, Patrick. Just leave it alone.” David said. Panic still evident in his voice.

“I’m not going to hurt him.” Patrick said. “Just…stay here.”

Patrick got out of the car and shoved his hands into his pockets. He walked slowly into the park.

The guy sat down on a park bench while the woman took the child to the swings. Patrick neared him and sat down, beside him, on the bench.

The guy looked at Patrick and nodded. His eyes darted to the woman, around the park, back at Patrick.

“My name is Patrick Brewer.” Patrick said calmly. Directly. Hands resting on his lap.

“I know.” The guy said. He stood.

“Please. Just sit for a minute. You’re safe.” Patrick said quietly.

The guy scanned the park. “Are the cops coming?”

“Nope. Just me. Please. Sit.” Patrick asked him again.

He sat on the edge of the park bench. His eyes continued to scan the park.

“You really scared some people when you did what you did.” Patrick told him.

“I’m sorry. Please, she doesn’t know what happened. Please.” The guy said.

“Just take a breath.” Patrick said. “I just want to know why you did it.”

“We were out of diapers. Rent is due. I… I lost my job. I was working at a shop in Elmdale…” The guy rambled.

Patrick interrupted him. “Why us? Why not ….” Patrick stopped talking. Why would he suggest that the guy rob anyone else in town?

“You guys seem to have it all together. Everyone in town… everyone knows you guys are doin’ good. I didn’t think you’d miss a little money.” He said frankly.

“You really scared David.” Patrick said. “And… you took some pretty expensive stuff.”

“I’m sorry. I needed cash and…”

Patrick interrupted him again. “If you haven’t opened any of it..., you can bring it back.”

“We ate the cheese. Drank the wine.” The guy mumbled.

“Oh?” Patrick’s face registered his surprise.

“She thought it was fancy. Like a date night.” Patrick watched him look at the woman pushing the child on the swing.

“Oh?” Patrick watched him.

“Like nothin’ we’ve ever had.” The guy said.

Patrick nodded. Then asked, “And the face care product? What about that?”

“I…umm… sold it. Online. It’s gone. I’m sorry.” He said. “Enough to buy diapers and a few groceries.”

Patrick nodded.

“Do you even own a gun?” Patrick asked.

“God no. Not with a kid. I wouldn’t want her to find it. Listen… Mr. Brewer… I’ve never… That was the only time I ever…”

Patrick held up his hand. “OK. OK.”

The little girl ran over to them. Held her hands up to her father who picked her up and kissed her cheek.

She smiled at Patrick. “Hi.” She waved at him.

“Hi.” Patrick said in return. He smiled at her.

“Go play with Mom. I’ll be there in a minute.” The guy told her as he put her down. She turned around and ran back to her mother.

“You can’t do anything like that again.” Patrick said.

“I know. I won’t. It was stupid and…”

“I know who you are now. If I hear of _any other robbery_ or even an attempt, I’ll go to the authorities.” Patrick said sternly.

“I won’t, Mr. Brewer. I won’t. It was stupid and I was… desperate. I _will_ pay you back. I have an interview if I get the job… I’ll save up and … “

“No. No, no. Listen…” Patrick leaned forward and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. “I don’t have much here, but…” He reached in and pulled the bills out of his wallet. It amounted to around $80. He handed it over to the man. “Take it.”

The man held his hand out as if to say no. “I can’t do that. I’ve already taken a lot without…”

“You’re a dad. You were… trying to provide.” Patrick said. “But listen… you just can’t…”

“I know. I won’t.” The guy shook his head.

“Take the money. You have a kid.” Patrick was insistent. “Maybe it will hold you over until…”

The man took the money. Folded it. Tucked it in his pocket. “Thank you. I _will_ pay you back.”

“I don’t need you to do that. That’s not what this is about. Just… don’t do it to anyone. That’s all I need. Don’t make me regret not turning you in.” Patrick said.

“I won’t. You’ll see.” He told Patrick.

“Honey!” The woman called and came over to them. “She wants you to push her.”

Patrick stood. He smiled at her. “Hi.”

“Patrick, this is my wife.” The guy said uncomfortably.

“I gotta get goin’. David’s in the car waiting for me.” He patted the guy on the back. “Nice to meet you,” he nodded at her. “You all… take care.”

“Thanks, Patrick.” The guy said.

Patrick nodded, turned, jammed his hands in his pockets, and walked back to the car.

++++++

David watched Patrick sit. Watched the man stand. Watched Patrick try to reason with him. Watched the man sit back down.

Watched the two talk. Watched the little girl walk over to them. Knew that the child would tug at Patrick’s heart.

Then, David shook his head and smiled as he watched his boyfriend pull money out of his wallet and hand the man a wad of bills.

He kept his eyes on Patrick and let out a relieved exhale when Patrick turned toward the car.

++++++

Patrick got into the car and said nothing. [He searched on his phone for a song to play on the car’s Bluetooth](https://youtu.be/Nl2GwLtMX7s). They rode to the motel without speaking.

Patrick parked the car. They sat. Neither moved. Listening to the song.

David knew Patrick was telling him why he did what he did without using any words. He unlatched his seatbelt. He reached his hand over to Patrick’s hand that lay resting on the gearshift.  
  
They intertwined fingers.

_Don't you cry for the lost_ _  
Smile for the living  
Get what you need and give what you're given  
Life's for the living so live it  
Or you're better off dead_

As the song played the chorus, David shifted in his seat. Patrick turned to look at him with a solemn face. His eyes red from tears he tried to not shed.

David reached over with his right hand at the back of Patrick’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. And another. And another.

David kissed his cheek. Pulled him in to hug him. 

“I’m sorry, David.” Patrick held him close. His words came quietly. He choked back emotion as he spoke. “Please don’t be mad.”

“Mm-Mm. No sweetie. I’m not mad.” David kissed his cheek. Pulled back and held Patrick’s sweet face in his hands. “You’re a good man, Patrick Brewer. I could never be mad at you for doing what you think is right.”

Patrick nodded and grasped David’s arms. Pulled him into a tight hug.

_Don't you cry for the lost_ _  
Smile for the living  
Get what you need and give what you're given  
Life's for the living so live it  
Or you're better off dead_

++++++

A couple of months later, Patrick was away. He went to go to the first meeting of the Cabaret cast. 

David was working and dealing with the baby. He had arranged for Roland to bring him to the Apothecary. He had just said goodbye to Tina, their newest client, who had come to pick up the supplies David procured for the baby shower she was planning.

He had just signed her the week before and she had taken a liking to Roland, Jr. so David arranged to have him one more time at the store. He wanted to make a good impression. It was going to be a great account.

He turned when he heard the bell above the door ring.

He stopped. Afraid to move. The man who entered wore a hoodie. An aubergine hoodie. David’s heart pounded loudly in his chest. He moved then. Moved to stand in front of the baby’s carriage.

“May I …” David coughed. “May I help you?”

The man didn’t make eye contact with David. “Is… ummm… Is Patrick here?”

David wasn’t sure how to answer. He was afraid to tell the man he was there alone. “He…he stepped out for a minute. He’ll be right back.” David looked over the man’s shoulder to look out to the street. Willing someone. Anyone to come in.

“I just wanted… I have something for him. I guess… really for you.” The man said.

“Oh?” David’s left hand worried the rings on his right.

The man reached into his hoodie.

David held his breath.

The man pulled out a white envelope. He held it out. “I told him…that I would pay him… you… back.”

“That’s not…that’s not necessary.” David waved his hand in front of himself.

“It is. It is necessary. I’m sorry. I had a really dark time and thought it would solve my problems coming in here that day. I didn’t stop to think what it would do to you or…” The man stopped talking.

“It was scary.” David said.

“It was wrong. I… Tell Patrick… I got the job. I’ve saved up. I’m not sure how much…Not sure of the cost of the things I took. If that’s not enough to cover it, my phone number is in there. You can text me and I’ll save more.” He wiggled his hand with the envelope in it. “Please.”

David quickly reached out to take the envelope. “I’m sure it’s fine.”

The baby behind David began to cry.

The guy looked around David. “Man. I didn’t know you guys had a kid.”

“Yeah…well…” David said. He continued to stand in front of the baby and he kept his eyes on the man.

“Tell Patrick thank you. For what he did. Thank you.” The man opened the door. “You guys gave me a second chance. I won’t… I won’t waste it.”

David nodded at him. He put the envelope on the counter near the register.

And then the man in the aubergine hoodie left the store.

Roland, Jr. continued to cry and David bent over his stroller. “Don’t cry. It’s not a good look on you.” David patted the baby’s leg. Still not soothed, the crying continued.

He jiggled the stroller. “The scary man is gone. It’s OK.”

The crying continued.

David made a face of annoyance and reached into the stroller. Tucked his hands under the baby and picked him up. As soon as he was in David’s arms, the crying stopped.

“See? It’s OK. It’s just us.” David said to him.

The baby looked at David. Sober faced. The baby took a ragged breath and sighed.

David eyed him. “I know. I feel the same way. But, we’re safe. It’s OK.” David said to him.

The baby leaned forward and rested his head on David’s shoulder. David’s mouth pulled into a little sideways smile. He stood and rubbed one hand on the baby’s back. He wasn’t sure whether he was comforting himself or the baby. David found himself swaying side to side.

He turned around and faced the front of the store. There, standing outside of the store just on the other side of the door, he saw Patrick. Standing with his hands in his pockets, taking in the view.

They locked eyes.

Patrick gently opened the door and stepped inside. He stood silently.

Choosing to ignore the look on Patrick’s face, David turned and patted the white envelope beside the register. “You had a visitor,” he said. Then he turned and took the baby through the curtained doorway into the office.

++


	6. Third Floor Penthouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick host another Meet the Maker event and plan to have a relaxing Saturday afternoon watching the game in Patrick's room. An interruption from Ray leads to Patrick and Ray having a talk. Another interruption from Ray leaves Patrick planning to find a new place to live. David and Patrick have a bit of a misunderstanding about future plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place before, during, and after 5.03
> 
> +++
> 
> Small note to the friends who checked in on me after I missed a post last week. Thank you, kindly, for your generosity of spirit and your sweet words. All is fine. All is well. Just... Life. *Shoulder shrug emoji*
> 
> +++
> 
> I want to take a moment to tell my readers that this week I learned of an amazing artist out there who posts in the fandom. I am in awe of the work they do. If you haven't seen the artistry of "beekay" in the fandom, run... don't walk. Seriously go now (you can read my work later). Just promise - she has but one ask - DO NOT REPOST HER WORK. It is hers to share, not ours. But if you haven't put eyes on it, you are missing out. 
> 
> +++
> 
> I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> -PD
> 
> ++

++++++

Their Meet the Maker event on Saturday went well. Heather had agreed to come in and sit at the store for people to come meet the person who makes the cheese they love so much. David had warned Alexis via text that Heather would be there, on the off chance she had planned to stop by for one of her unexpected visits.

They had high traffic and it was a good morning. David stuck near her all day and made sure she had everything she needed to be comfortable. Patrick cut a check for Heather, as they did for each vendor who participated in their marketing event. She was gracious and kind, especially given the whole history with Alexis and Ted. 

David was relieved when the day was over. When he locked the store’s door, he breathed out a long and noisy exhale and went into the office and _plopped_ down on the couch.

“You OK, Babe?” Patrick followed him into the office. Sat down beside him.

David leaned over and rested his head on Patrick’s shoulder. “Tired. I feel like I can’t breathe around her. I’m always a little worried that she’s going to get upset and pull her product.”

“David, she’s not going to do that. I think we’ve proven to her that we’re the best place to sell her stuff.”

David didn’t have it in himself to argue. He shifted and rested his head on Patrick’s lap. Patrick brushed his fingers through David’s hair. He hummed to the song playing over the store’s speakers.

Patrick watched David’s face fall slack as he fell into a restful state. He knew if he let him lay there much longer, he’d go to sleep.

“Hey.” Patrick patted his shoulder.

“Mmm?”

“The sooner we get everything done here, the sooner we can leave.” Patrick patted David’s ass.

David groaned and sat up. “I’ll do the register if you’ll stock the shelves.”

“Last one done does the floors!” Patrick said as he darted from the room to start restocking.

Patrick was the first one done.

Patrick did the floors anyway.

David knew he would.

++++++

Ray wasn’t home when they got back to the house. They made sandwiches and ate them in the kitchen. Talked about the day. About their Meet the Maker series, which had proved to be a hit.

Patrick, again, praised David for the idea. “You really do have a lot of creative ideas in that journal of yours.” He nudged David’s foot with his own under the table.

They made their way upstairs. Patrick changed out of his jeans into a pair of comfortable shorts and a t-shirt.

They settled onto the bed. There was a game on television that Patrick wanted to watch. David rested beside him, magazine in hand. 

“Patrick? I need a pen.” David said. He waved a hand in front of Patrick.

“What for?” Patrick asked, not taking his eye off the game. Swatting David’s hand away from his face.

“There’s a quiz here I want to take.”

“Nope.” Patrick said quickly.

“Patrick!” David protested.

“Not giving you a pen. No magazine quizzes. I would think you would have learned your lesson.” Patrick teased.

“This one is called ‘How healthy is your diet?’” David said.

“Yours isn’t. The end.” Patrick teased.

David rolled his eyes and tossed the magazine onto the bedside table. He got off the bed and retrieved the quilt that Patrick’s grandmother made that Patrick kept on the chair in the corner. He crawled back onto the bed and snuggled up near Patrick and lay down for a nap. Quilt wrapped around himself.

Patrick sat with his back against a pillow. Feet crossed at the ankles. It wasn’t long before he felt David’s hand snake across his thigh and his finger slide along the outline of Patrick’s dick. There was only one thing that would make Patrick stop watching the game, and David knew it.

Patrick’s cock instantly responded. David moved closer to him. Blanket still over his shoulders. He pulled Patrick’s shorts out and over his cock.

Patrick’s head leaned back against the brass bar on the headboard. His eyes shut. One hand moving to David’s shoulder. The other to cradle the back of David’s head. He let out a long exhale.

David licked and kissed Patrick’s shaft. He pulled the tip of his cock into his mouth and sucked on him, teasing out a bit of salty precum. David looked up at him and licked his lips before he opened his mouth wide and moved to pull Patrick’s firm cock into his mouth. Just as he did so… Just as Patrick let out a long slow moan…

“Hi Patrick. I’m home!” Ray said as he swung the door open. “I have a contract …”

“Ray!” Patrick reacted loudly.

“Fuck!” David looked up and over his shoulder toward the doorway.

Ray stood in place, realizing what he was seeing. “Oh. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Ray. Give us a minute, please.” Patrick said calmly.

“Sure. I will talk with you later.” Ray said. Still standing in place. Eyes locked with Patrick’s.

“Ohm’god.” David pulled the quilt up to cover Patrick’s dick.

“Ray. I’ll meet you downstairs.” Patrick said.

“Oh. OK. Sure.” Ray turned around and left. Leaving the door wide open.

“Patrick…For fuck’s sake…” David started.

“I’ll take care of it.” Patrick said. He tucked his now flaccid dick into his shorts and stood. “You stay here.”

“As if I’d do anything else.” David rolled over and covered his head with a pillow.

++++++

Patrick and Ray sat at the kitchen table.

“You’re right, Patrick. I’m sorry.” Ray said.

“I don’t need an apology, Ray. I need you to respect the rules of a closed door.” Patrick leaned his elbows on the table.

“If the door is closed, I need to knock.” Ray nodded.

“Yeah. Ray.” Patrick said. “Or… maybe consider whether or not you even _really_ need to talk to me in that moment. You know Saturday afternoons we tend to… hang out… in my room to…decompress.”

“OK, Patrick.” Ray nodded his head.

“So, what’s the plan, Ray?” Patrick asked for clarification.

“You want me to knock before I go into your room.” Ray said.

“Well… Ray…”

“No?” Ray asked. “I thought your note was that I need to knock before I go in.”

“The… _note_ …” Patrick worked hard to keep his voice calm, “Is to not come into my room. But … if you need me… knock. Then wait.”

“OK. I can do that, Patrick!”

Patrick patted his hand on the table. “Thanks, Buddy.” He stood and grabbed two beers out of the refrigerator before heading back upstairs to see if David would be interested in picking up where they left off.

As he climbed the stairs he wondered to himself, not for the first time, if he’d reached the point where he needed to find a place of his own.

++++++

David woke unusually early for a Sunday. He walked quietly down the hall to the bathroom to relieve himself.

When he returned to Patrick’s room, he crawled under the covers and snuggled up to Patrick. Patrick, still sleeping, made a sound and turned toward David. David’s hand drifted down Patrick’s chest to find his morning wood. He ducked his head under the covers and set about waking Patrick.

++++++

Patrick brought two steaming cups up to his room. Coffee for David. Tea for him. They sat sipping and talking.

“I did. I told him.” Patrick said.

“We’ll see how long it lasts.” David said. “I think he’s trying to catch us in the act.”

“David… he’s not doing that.” Patrick dismissed the thought. “He just… maybe it’s how he was raised. Some families keep doors closed. Some keep doors opened. Maybe his family just …. enters rooms. I don’t know."

David sat his half empty cup on the bedside table. He yawned. “I’m going to nap a bit before I have to get ready to head to brunch.”

Patrick grabbed his book. David snuggled up to his side. They both loved Sunday mornings, just hanging out in bed before David had to meet his family for their weekly brunch appointment.

Just as David drifted back to sleep…

“Knock! Knock! Everybody decent?” Ray opened Patrick’s door and walked in.

++++++

 _I think it’s time we look for an apartment._ The words sat in David’s ears as he walked to the café to meet his family for brunch.

Butterflies.

David’s mind raced. _He wants to live together._ Patrick didn’t even ask, really. He just said it. _I think it’s time we look for an apartment._

David stifled a smile and walked into the café.

++++++

Patrick sat on the couch sipping on a beer. Ray came into the room and sat down to watch the game with him.

“Hey, Ray.” Patrick decided that there was no time like the present.

He asked Ray if there were any apartments available in town. Told him that he really liked the fact that he could live and work at Ray’s over the course of the last year, but that it was time for him to have a place of his own in town… that is, if there was anything available.

Patrick worried that Ray would be upset. Worried he’d hurt his feelings. He was not anticipating the reaction he got from Ray.

“Oh! Patrick. There is a great one bed room over on the northeast side!” Ray said with excitement. “I’ve not had many people interested, but it is the top floor. It is an open concept space. You could call it the _penthouse_ of the building!”

Patrick thought for a moment, knowing full well that half of what Ray was saying was stretching the reality of the space for rent. “That sounds like something I’d like to see.”

“I can arrange for you to see it tomorrow.” Ray clapped his hands and left the room.

++++++

“Good morning, Honey!” Marcy Brewer’s face lit up the screen of her son’s phone as he put the cash into the register drawer.

This mother and son conversation happened several times a week at this time of the morning. Clint having gone out to take care of the animals. David not yet in the store.

“Hi, Mom. What’s happening at home?” Patrick asked. He had propped the phone up near the lip balm, knowing his Mom liked to have full view of what he was doing as he got things ready at the store.

Marcy told her son about the happenings around town.

“What’s new in your world, Honey?” Marcy asked him.

“Well… lookin’ at a new place today, Mom.”

“Place?” Marcy asked.

“An apartment. A new place to live.” Patrick clarified for her.

“Is there something wrong at Ray’s? Did something happen? You didn’t fight, did you?” She asked.

“No. No, no. Just… feel like I’ve been here long enough. Think it’s time to have a place of my own.” Patrick said. He moved the phone so his mom could maintain visual of him while he straightened out the counter under the register.

“So… you’re staying there.” Marcy stated more than asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, Mom. It’s… it’s home to me. I love it here. I mean… the store and… everything.” Patrick paused. He looked at his mother’s concerned eyes staring back at him.

_I should tell her. She could tell Dad. I can just tell her now._

Marcy looked over her shoulder. “Honey, your Dad is at the back door calling me to come. He needs some help down at the barn. I have to go.”

Patrick nodded. “OK, Mom.”

“Was there something you were going to say?” She asked him.

“No. No, Mom. You go. Tell Dad I said Hi.”

“I will, Honey. Have a good day. Let me know if you find the right place to move. I want to help you. Get some things around for you to help furnish it.” Marcy kissed the camera on her phone – in her mind, kissing her son.

“Love you, Mom.” Patrick blew her a kiss.

++++++

“I think this one may do the trick.” Patrick told David. He tucked the new adhesive into the tool box.

“It may be time to call in a professional.” David finally broached the subject of having someone – _anyone_ – come in to try to fix the fucking tile that kept falling off the wall in the restroom.

Patrick put his hands on his waist and got that serious look on his face that he always got when he felt like he was in charge of a situation that he really had no clue about. That face was adorable. It made David smile.

“Well…” Patrick said. “Let’s just see what happens. I think this one may have worked. We may not need to do anything else.”

_Always the optimist._

David nodded. Smiled his little smile where his lips pull off to the side. That smile that he gives Patrick when he is enamored and happy. Pleased. “M’Kay.”

David moved close to Patrick.

Patrick leaned back against the counter in the back space of the store where David had been packing the on-line orders for shipment.

David settled his hands on Patrick’s shoulders. _These shoulders_. “I’m sure you fixed it this time, Sweetie. Thank you.”

David gave Patrick a peck on the lips.

Patrick settled his hands around David. His fingers latching together at David’s lower back, holding David close in his arms. He kissed David on the neck. “I can take care of things. We don’t have to hire someone. You’ll see.”

“My Mr. Fix-it.” David kissed him on the cheek. “He has a tool box.”

“I like my tools.” Patrick said quietly.

“Oh, Mr. Brewer. I like your tool, too.” David said, one hand reaching down. His fingers drumming on Patrick’s crotch.

“Alright… you flirt.” Patrick unlatched his fingers from around David’s waist. “Get back to work.” Patrick swatted David’s ass and then picked up his tool box and went to put it away in the closet.

“I’m really excited about seeing the apartment.” David told him.

Patrick looked over his shoulder. “Me too. I’m really glad that you’re excited about it, David.” Patrick was glad that David was supporting him looking for a new place.

“Well… to be honest, it was a bit of a surprise. But it really does make sense and… I think… it will be really exciting. I mean… I think it’s going to be really… good.” David said.

Patrick moved back over to David who continued to pack product into boxes for shipment. Patrick stood behind him. Put his hands on David’s shoulders and rubbed them.

David stopped what he was doing and stood still. Letting Patrick touch him. Making sure to be present in the moment. Not taking these exciting steps for granted.

“I’m really, really excited.” Patrick said. He wrapped his hands around David and held his palms flat against David’s chest. He rested his cheek against David’s back. Hugged him tightly.

“Me, too, Patrick.” David smiled at the wall. He shut his eyes and imagined them. The two of them. Spending every day, all day. Every night, all night. Cooking meals. Cleaning the house. Going to work and coming home together. Cuddling in front of a fire. Making a home. Having friends over. Waking up _every morning_ in each other’s arms. “I’m really excited, too.”

He had experienced butterflies all morning just thinking about it. Ever since the text came through from Patrick with the location, it was all David could think about. And, Alexis was right. _When your boyfriend asks you to move in with him… you do it._

David, much to his own surprise, was _all in._

++++++

They closed the door for their lunch hour. The place was within walking distance, but to save time they rode in Patrick’s car. When they pulled up outside, Patrick texted Ray who told him that he was inside.

_Ray (12:07 pm):_

“Take the stairs.”

“Third floor. Penthouse!”

*Clapping hands emoji* *Clapping hands emoji* *Clapping hands emoji*

*Door emoji* *Couch emoji* *Chair emoji* *Bed emoji* *Red heart emoji*

They got out of the car and David stood outside of the building and looked up. He looked around the neighborhood. He knew the part of town. He knew every part of town. Over the years, he’d walked through it all.

It was fine. As fine as any part of town could be. There really weren’t any _bad_ parts of town. Or, rather, there was no part of town that was inherently worse than the rest of the town.

 _This is it._ He thought to himself. _This is where I start the next chapter of my life._

He took a deep breath and followed Patrick.

++++++

He was excited. Very excited. This was, as he had been known to say, _kind of a big deal._ As they climbed the stairs, he led them. David trailed closely behind.

He just had a feeling this was the place he wanted to rent. As soon as Ray opened the door and he took one look. And he was sold.

He loved the hard wood floors. The fireplace. The exposed brick. The natural lighting from the windows. He loved that it was one big space and he could just imagine it. He instantly imagined cooking David breakfast and eating it in the bed. He imagined sitting near the fireplace and playing his guitar, maybe with David laying on the couch. He imagined having friends over and having a sing along or playing games. He imagined reading over near the window.

Being able to be in this space. Walking from the bathroom to the bed with no clothes. Without worrying about Ray popping in. He just… _loved it._

He saw it for what it was. A step toward the next chapter of his life.

After this place? His next place would be a house. A home. With David. He just _knew it_.

++++++

He had been excited. All day he was nervous and happy and dreaming about the possibilities. He kept picturing that little place that he and Alexis looked at several years prior. He had secretly hoped that Ray would end up taking them _there_. Or someplace _like_ that.

As he climbed the stairs behind Patrick, he started to feel apprehension settle over his shoulders. Though still _very_ excited, he noticed the hallways bore a striking resemblance to the hallways in Stevie’s building. Then… Ray opened the door.

He tried to stay positive. He did.

He saw how excited Patrick was. He saw Patrick’s face. Noticed how his eyes danced.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t get excited about it. _If I’m leaving that motel room, it has to be for something a step up from this, doesn’t it?_ He thought to himself.

And, so. He brought himself to say it. He pulled together all of his courage. He held on to Patrick’s shoulders.

“I don’t know if I love this place…and I’m not just saying that because the lack of closet space will inevitably force us to break up. I just sorta feel like if we’re going to be moving in together, we should _both_ be _totally_ on board.”

++++++

Up until they had met in the hallway, his thoughts had only been on the commission. He hadn’t truly thought about the ramifications of this moment. Patrick may like the place. He stood and watched the two men as they looked around.

He couldn’t turn off his exuberance. He seldom could. It was inherent with him. His mother always called him her little Ray of Sunshine. It was who he was. A Ray of Sunshine.

Life was good. There was nothing to complain about. Ray was _always_ happy.

Yet inside he also felt a little tug at his heart. A little glimpse of sadness. Because he had truly enjoyed having Patrick as a roommate and coworker. He had rolled with the changes when Patrick went to work at the Apothecary. He had been thrilled when David began coming around. Having been raised in a huge family, Ray often felt lonely in a quiet home. So, when Patrick and David were there, he was very content with them around.

He knew he probably intruded too often into their space. He simply loved being in their company. When two people are in love, it is a beautiful thing to behold. And these two… yes. They were definitely in love.

Ray swallowed the bit of sadness he had over the thought of losing his roommate. And he smiled broadly.

Ray showed them around the one bed room. The step-in closet. And the bathroom.

“Curtain opened? Or Curtain closed?”

++++++

Patrick parked the car beside the Apothecary. David had been quiet on the ride back to work.

“Want to go eat lunch? Or, should we order it and eat at the office?” Patrick asked him.

“I’m not that hungry. So, really whatever you want is fine.” David said.

 _Shit._ Patrick thought to himself. David is never _not_ hungry.

“How about I go order and get it and you go hang out in the store? We can eat there.” Patrick recommended, then added. “What do you feel like eating?”

“Just… whatever.” David smiled at him. “Maybe with a side of potato salad.” He patted Patrick’s thigh.

++++++

When Patrick returned, there were a quite a few customers in the store and David was having a conversation with one of them back near the natural toothpaste and toothbrushes.

Patrick put the food on the table in the office. Set it out so that David would see the smattering of sides he had purchased. David could make a meal out of sides.

Then, he took a deep breath and he headed into the store to help check out the customers who had made their purchases.

When the last of the customers made their way out the door, David emerged from the storage room with a box inventory to stock a shelf that had been emptied.

“Babe. Put that down and come eat. We can do that later.” Patrick said. He uncharacteristically turned the sign on the front of the store to “Closed” and locked the door.

David didn’t put up a fight. He set the box by the register and went into the office. “Oh!” he said lightheartedly. “Look at this! It’s a veritable smorgasbord.”

David sat down and Patrick pulled two sodas out of the refrigerator and sat down across from him.

They each put food on their plate and began to eat.

“David.”

“Hmmm?”

“You OK?” Patrick asked. Quietly. Concerned.

“Fine.” David put a spoonful of his favorite potato salad in his mouth and looked at Patrick and wiggled his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry, David. Really sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“Patrick. There’s no reason to apologize. It’s fine.”

“OK. All right.” Patrick nodded and took a bite of the half of the BLT he had put on his plate. He was surprised that David seemed to be handling this situation without too much upset.

Patrick did wonder, though, if the store hadn’t been full of customers when he returned from the café if he would have found David on the couch in the turtle position.

+++++

Patrick sat with Ray in the office. He signed the paperwork. He wrote a check for the deposit. First and last month’s rent. It was not a small check. But he had been saving. And it was time to dip into that savings.

“Ray.” He said seriously.

“Patrick.” Ray leaned forward and made eye contact with him. Almost disturbingly strong eye contact.

Patrick smiled at him. “I’m gonna miss living with you,” he said earnestly.

“Me too, Patrick.” Ray patted Patrick’s knee.

“Can I still come here and work a couple of nights a week? Take work with me to do at my place for you?” Patrick asked.

“I would like that very much.” Ray said. He was overjoyed that Patrick still wanted to work for him.

++++++

_You (9:37 pm):_

‘David.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:37 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_You (9:37 pm):_

‘Just signed the lease. Paid the rent.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:37 pm):_

‘I’m very excited for you.’

_You (9:37 pm):_

‘For us?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:38 pm):_

‘Yes. Us.’

_You (9:38 pm):_

‘Sure you’re OK?’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:38 pm):_

‘Absolutely.’

‘Tired. Going to turn in early.’

_You (9:38 pm):_

‘I love you.’

_Hottie I have sex with (9:38 pm):_

*Face blowing a kiss emoji*

‘I love you’

‘Good night, Patrick’ *Red heart emoji*

_You (9:39 pm):_

‘Good night, Babe.’

Patrick sat on the side of his bed and reread the texts. It all didn’t sit well with him. He knew, now, that David had thought they were going to look for a place for both of them. He seemed to roll with it when Patrick told him that he was looking for a place… _just for him._

There was no way, Patrick thought. No way he could change his mind and ask David to move in with him. Not just because he wasn’t out to his parents. But…it’s just not what needed to happen.

Patrick had plans. Big plans.

He wanted to move out of Ray’s. Get settled in a space of his own.

He needed to come out to his parents. His family. And after he did that, he could propose. And then… _after they were married_ …that’s when he would live with David.

 _Call me old fashioned. It’s just what needs to happen_. He thought to himself.

++++++

Patrick lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t get David out of his mind. There was something wrong. Patrick felt it in his bones.

Maybe David _was OK_ with the fact that Patrick changed the plan that David had thought was in the works.

But still… something was wrong.

He seldom pulled others into their relationship. But he needed another set of eyes to tell him that he wasn’t crazy.

_You (10:01 pm):_

‘Alexis. How’s he doing tonight?’

_Alexis (10:01 pm):_

‘Ted? He’s fine. Why? What have you heard?’

*Astonished face emoji* *Shoulder shrug emoji*

_You (10:01 pm):_

‘I mean David.’

_Alexis (10:01 pm):_

‘I don’t know. I’m with Ted. Why? What are you worried about? What happened?’

_You (10:02 pm):_

‘Nothing. Never mind.’

_Alexis (10:02 pm):_

‘Did something happen when you were looking at the place today?’

‘Did he freak out about closet space?’

_You (10:02 pm):_

‘You knew we went to look at an apartment today?’

_Alexis (10:02 pm):_

‘Button! I’m very excited for you two!’

*Face with a party hat and party horn emoji*

_You (10:02 pm):_

‘Alexis. We aren’t moving in together.’

_Alexis (10:03 pm):_

‘What did he do? Damnit David.’

_You (10:03 pm):_

‘He didn’t do anything.’

‘I said it’s time we look for an apartment.’

‘I meant look for a place for me.’

_Alexis (10:03 pm):_

‘And you told him that?’

‘Patrick. oof!’

_You (10:03 pm):_

‘What should I have done?’

_Alexis (10:03 pm):_

‘You move in with him and you learn to live with him.’

‘That’s what I did.’

_You (10:04 pm):_

‘He seemed fine.’

‘He took it OK.’

_Alexis (10:04 pm):_

‘So why are you texting ME to ask me if he’s OK?’

*Face with rolling eyes emoji*

_You (10:04 pm):_

‘I think he’s OK. I just think there’s something else bothering him.’

_Alexis (10:05 pm):_

*Person shrugging emoji*

_You (10:05 pm):_

‘Are you going home tonight?’

_Alexis (10:05 pm):_

‘I had planned to stay here at Ted’s. But I can go home. I’m already in bed tho’

_You (10:05 pm):_

‘Never mind.’

‘I’m going to the motel.’

++++++

There weren’t many cars at the motel. Patrick parked directly in front of David’s room. The lights were off.

He knocked quietly on the door. It was late and he didn’t want to wake anyone else.

David didn’t answer.

He knocked quietly again. No answer.

He sent David a text.

_You (10:27 pm):_

‘David.’

He waited. David didn’t answer.

_You (10:28 pm):_

‘David. Please answer me.’

He worried. He worried that David was truly upset and wasn’t talking to him.

 _What do I do?_ He thought.

Just then, Stevie came around the corner from the back of the motel. She’d clearly been smoking a joint. She had a man with her. Someone he’d never seen before.

“Stevie. Can you let me in? David’s not answering.” Patrick said.

The man said, “Ms. Felmington. Do you have keys to this establishment?” He laughed.

Stevie blew a laugh out of her mouth making a raspberry sound with her lips. “I do!”

She pulled keys out of her pocket, unlocked the door to David’s room and then looped her arm around the man’s arm and they walked off together without saying another word to Patrick.

Patrick watched them leave, a puzzled look on his face. For a moment he thought he should go after them and make sure Stevie was OK.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard David say, “What the fuck is happening?”

He stepped into David’s dark room and shut the door. David was sitting upright in his bed. He pulled the headphones off his ears. “Patrick? What’s happening? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, David. I knocked on the door. I texted. You didn’t answer. I had Stevie unlock your door.” Patrick moved to David’s bed. He sat down.

David leaned toward him and gave him a peck on the lips. “This is a surprise. What’s happening?”

“I just… I just wanted to see you.” Patrick said.

David moved over, making room for Patrick. He pulled the covers back, inviting Patrick into the bed. “I like that. Come on.” David said.

Patrick toed off his shoes and crawled under the covers. Making himself the big spoon around David.

David settled back against him and sighed a happy sigh. “I was sleeping. Had my music on.”

“Whatcha listening to?” Patrick asked.

David pulled the headphones off his head and handed them to Patrick to let him know what he’d been listening to on a loop while he slept.

Patrick put one earpiece against his ear.

_Give me a life time of promises and a world of dreams_ _  
Speak the language of love like you know what it means_

“Mmmmm. Listening to me.” Patrick put the headphones on the night stand behind him. It made Patrick happy to know that David was listening to him.

David turned off the music. Reached over to put his phone on the beside table.

He settled in.

Patrick pressed himself against David’s back. Wrapped his arm around David and pressed his palm against David’s chest. When David was stressed, he liked tight hugs.

“You sing me to sleep nearly every night, Mr. Brewer. You know that.” David’s hands immediately moved to Patrick’s forearms.

“What are you thinking about?” Patrick asked him. He kissed his neck. Smiled at the feeling of David’s fingers dancing along his forearm. Relief settling over him because David seemed to not be angry.

“I’m hoping that you’ll let me choose the new paint color for your walls.” David said. He shut his eyes and wiggled his body, snuggling into the comfort of Patrick’s arms. Pleased by the surprise visit.

“Oh? I don’t mind the color of the walls. I hadn’t thought about painting them.” Patrick teased.

“Patrick Brewer. They’re filthy and green. We need to put a fresh coat of paint on them.”

“We?” Patrick grinned into the back of David’s head. He kissed David’s neck.

“Well, you. You need to put a fresh coat on. But I can pick it out.” David said through a smile.

Patrick nodded his head slightly. “Deal.”

“I’m thinking a shade of taupe. Not sure which one yet.” David’s wheels were turning.

“I trust you to make the right decision.” Patrick said seriously.

“Maybe I can find a few prints that we can have framed to go on your mantle.”

“That sounds great, Babe.” Patrick encouraged him.

They were quiet for a time. Relaxing into each other’s arms.

“Patrick.”

“Mmmm?”

“There’s been…something that I’ve been thinking about a lot today…” David started then stopped talking.

The room was quiet, other than the muffled sound of Stevie and the man talking somewhere outside.

 _I knew it._ Patrick thought. _I knew he was upset about something._

“What’s that, David?” He tried to sound casual. He was terrified thinking of what David was going to say.

“How long were you and… Rachel…together? Before, you know, you… moved in… together?” David felt foolish asking. Knew he wasn’t in competition with her. Knew it was apples and oranges. Knew it.

But yet, the _tiniest spark_ of jealousy was there. He felt compelled to ask.

The question made Patrick’s heart pound. Patrick’s hand rubbed David’s chest. He rested his chin on David’s shoulder. In a low, quiet voice he said, “We never lived together.”

David’s head turned, then. Turned as far as it could to try to see Patrick. “What?”

“We never lived together. Don’t get me wrong. I spent the night at her place _a lot_. I had a drawer… like you do at my place. A drawer for a change of clothes, personal items, that sort of thing. But… no, we didn’t live together.” Patrick said.

David turned then. His whole body. He sat up and then rolled to face Patrick in the bed. He put his hand on Patrick’s chest. Looked in Patrick’s eyes. David’s brow was furrowed and he looked seriously to Patrick.

“Why not? You were engaged.” David asked.

“Marcy Brewer?” Patrick shook his head. One side of his mouth pulled back into a wry smirk. “I told you. Marcy Brewer has rules.” Patrick continued to smile.

“OK… but… that was in _her house_. No sleeping together before marriage in _her house_.” David said, remembering what Patrick told him the night they spent in Patrick’s old bedroom.

“And no living together until marriage.” Patrick said. He put his hand over David’s hand that lay resting on his chest.

“But we fuck all the time. You two… you and Rachel. You had sex. You slept at her house. Surely Marcy knew you two were doing _that_.” David said. “Surely she knows you weren’t… saving yourself…”

“Yeah. She did. I think she was fine with that, really. But she always just raised me… well her and Dad. They just kind of set that expectation out there. Marriage. Then living together. Rachel and I… we could have pushed it. I guess, I just didn’t want to do that.” Patrick said.

“Because you didn’t want to upset your mom?” David asked with incredulity in his voice.

With only a small movement, Patrick shook his head a couple of times. “Nah. I can’t blame my mom. Not really. With Rachel… I guess I just didn’t feel like moving in was a good idea. I mean… I think _now_ we know why. Maybe I used Mom as an excuse.”

“Mmmm.” David looked thoughtfully at Patrick.

Patrick dropped his eyes. He watched his finger as it moved back and forth in a line on David’s chest. “But, David, I do kind of feel that way. I guess... it’s what I believe. Before I move in with…someone… David, before I move in with you…I want to know that it’s… for good. It’s… old fashioned. I know.”

David leaned forward and gave Patrick another peck on the lips. His hand moved to Patrick’s shoulder. He petted Patrick. He waited until Patrick’s eyes joined back with his. “No. Sweetie. It’s gallant. Chivalrous… Romantic.”

“David. Is this what has been bugging you today?” Patrick put a hand on David’s cheek. Ran his thumb back and forth over his stubble.

“I wouldn’t say I was _bugged_.” David shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Tell me what else. Truth telling, David. You handled the news well… but I know you, David. Something was bothering you.”

David shut his eyes. “I was… a little… _embarrassed_. I misread the situation. I don’t like when I do that.”

Patrick shook his head. “David. There’s no reason to be embarrassed with me.”

David nodded his head. “M’Kay.”

“Are you… do you feel like you’re _ready_? For us to live together?” Patrick asked him.

David pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and lightly bit down while he thought of his response. “Honestly? I hadn’t thought about it until you brought it up… or… I mean… until I _thought_ you brought it up.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t clearer in what I meant.” Patrick said, not for the first time that day.

“No. Don’t be. Ummm… when I thought you wanted to? I thought a lot about it. Talked about it with Alexis… and … honestly could _not_ think of a reason to not move in with you.” David said.

Patrick grinned at him.

“But then I saw the place that you wanted to live in and I knew I was not ready to live… _there.”_ David continued. “No matter how much I love you.”

“So… are you saying if I chose a different place, you _would_ be ready?” Patrick pushed with a clarifying question.

“I don’t know, Patrick. Can we just…let’s just leave it alone for a while?” David’s hand moved to Patrick’s chest. He patted him. “See how we do with you having a place of your own and me visiting. See… how we do without Ray popping in every time my mouth is on your …” David’s hands drifted down Patrick’s chest. His knuckles grazed Patrick’s dick through his sweatpants.

“We can do that.” Patrick said quietly, his voice low. Inviting. His eyes on David’s lips.

“I’m not avoiding the topic,” David said, feeling the need to explain. His hand back on Patrick’s chest.

“I know.” Patrick grinned.

“I just… I think I want us to do more… _growing_ … first. _Oh m’god_! I can’t believe I just said that.” David bent his head forward and rested it against Patrick’s forehead.

Patrick ran his hand down David’s side. Delighted in the words he heard David saying.

“It’s as though you’ve turned into Dr. Phil.” Patrick teased.

“Oh god.” David rolled onto his back.

Patrick’s hand drifted down David’s shirt and tucked under it and then moved up over the warmth of David’s chest. He leaned over David and his lips pressed gently against David’s.

One of David’s hands moved to the back of Patrick’s neck and pulled him in. Urging him to not pull back from the kiss. He opened his mouth to let Patrick in. Patrick’s tongue plunged in, reveling in the suction with which David greeted him.

Patrick’s hand moved from under David’s shirt down his body to cup his growing arousal. He squeezed his cock through the fabric that covered him. He moved his hand to slide into the waistband of David’s pants and was greeted with the warm, smooth skin of David’s shaft. He wrapped his hand around it, grasped him firmly and was rewarded by a low moan from David.

Patrick moved his mouth to David’s ear and said in the voice that never failed in his efforts to make David hungry, “What’s your pleasure, David.”

David whispered, “I want you to turn me over and fuck me, but I’m not pretty… and my parents are on the other side of that paper-thin wall. So, we’ll have to do something a little quieter.”

Patrick moved over David, then. David’s legs automatically opened for him, allowing Patrick to settle between them. His hands on the mattress on either side of David. His arms holding himself over David.

David’s hands instantly moved, as they always did when Patrick was over him in that position, to his arms. To travel up and down his arms.

Patrick lowered himself over David. Their lips meeting one another. Tenderly, this time. While David’s legs did that thing they do when Patrick is between them. He raised his knees; he wrapped his legs around Patrick’s hips. His feet linking around the ankles to pull Patrick in to him. To feel their cocks lined up. Side-by-side between them.

Patrick moved. Moved down David’s body. Pulled up David’s shirt. Kissed his chest. Nuzzled his face into David’s hairy chest. Breathed in deeply the scent he loved.

He kissed his way down David’s torso and gently pulled the waistband of David’s pants over and off his firm cock. Patrick scooted down the bed and rested between David’s legs. He licked David from base to tip. Along that vein that called to him. He pulled the tip of David into his mouth and sucked, teasing out a taste of his precum.

“Patrick.” David whispered. He grabbed a fist full of Patrick’s t-shirt and tugged on him. Pulling Patrick up his body.  
  
Patrick moved up David and hovered over him again. “What, Babe? What’s wrong?”

David’s hand moved between them and cupped Patrick’s erection. “Patrick, I want to touch you, too.”

Patrick’s lips were trailing along David’s jaw. Kissing his neck. That spot he likes just below his ear. “MmmKay.” Patrick murmured into his ear.

“Let’s follow the leader.” David whispered. He moved to sit up. Patrick sat up also.

“David. Your bed is too small.” Patrick protested. “Let me just…”

David moved down a bit on the bed. “It’s small, but we can do it.” His hand found the waist of Patrick’s sweatpants and tugged on them.

Patrick shook his head and gave in. He turned and settled on David’s bed. Turned toward David. His head settling down near David’s cock.

They hadn’t played follow the leader in months.

“You leading this? Or am I?” Patrick teased. Waiting. Hovering beside David’s crotch.

Then he felt David move. David pulled Patrick’s pants down to expose his cock. Patrick lifted his hips a bit to allow David to push his pants down a bit further.

Patrick tugged at David’s pants and David also lifted so Patrick could tug them down.

Patrick waited.

He felt David’s finger lightly trace the outline of his dick. From the base, up one side, around the head, and back down the other side.

Patrick’s finger touched David. He used his finger to trace up one side of David’s cock. Around its head, and back down the other side.

David grasped Patrick’s cock firmly just under the head. He ran his thumb over the head of Patrick’s cock. Dragged through the drops of precum that had begun to leak out of him. Thumb moving back and forth over the sensitive head.

“Mmmmm.” Patrick propped his head in his hand, elbow resting on the mattress. His other hand busied itself following David’s lead. Thumb moving back and forth over the head of David’s cock.

David rocked his hips.

Patrick rocked his hips.

Patrick felt David’s mouth, then. Kissing down the shaft of his dick.  
  
Patrick moved his lips to the velvety skin of David’s shaft. He kissed his sensitive skin.

Long licks. Gentle kisses. Warm hands. More licking.

“David. Please.” Patrick said quietly.

His plea was rewarded. David’s warm mouth encompassed him. He pulled Patrick into his mouth with a suction that he knew drove Patrick wild.

Patrick pulled David into his mouth. Suction. A moan that he knew would vibrate over David’s flesh and cause a moan to happen in return.

David’s hand gripped Patrick’s round, firm ass.

Patrick’s fingers clutched at David’s ass.

They lost the pattern of following and both were enthralled with the duties of their mouths while they reveled in the feeling the other was giving.

David started doing that thing. That thing that drove Patrick crazy. Pulling him in. All the way in. A strong suction that caused Patrick to falter in what he was doing. He pulled his mouth off of David and a small amount of guilt caused him to move his hand to wrap around David’s cock.

“Fuck, David.” He murmured. He tried. He really tried to continue, but what David was doing felt too good.

“David” He whispered. He let go of David’s dick and reached for David’s arm.

His hips bucked toward David. His head dropped to the bed and he pressed his forehead against David’s thigh. And then the surge of pleasure rushed through his body and a moan started deep in his chest. He did his best to stay as quiet as he could. His body stiffened and pulsed with the intense orgasm that only David could bring.

When David felt Patrick’s mouth release him, he knew that he was nearly there. David doubled down in his efforts, doing that thing he knew would finish Patrick off. He pulled him in deep, his cock hitting the back of David’s mouth. His hand massaging Patrick’s ass. His tongue flat against Patrick’s length while the suction pulled. Pulled him in.

Then Patrick, Sweet Patrick, gave David the sign he never needed but adored nonetheless.

“David” he whispered. Then Patrick held on to David’s arm.

And David was rewarded for his efforts. Patrick’s body stiffened, the muscles of his ass and thighs became hard. The rush of warm, salty goodness hit him and he swallowed him down.

A little more suction and then he gently released him, knowing how sensitive he is just after he comes. David kissed him gently on the head of his cock and Patrick’s hips instinctively pulled away from him. It made David blow out a soft chuckle and then he rested his head on Patrick’s thigh.

They rested for a brief moment and then David felt him. Patrick’s mouth pulled him in and Patrick’s hand and mouth worked together to cover the length of his cock. When Patrick pulled off him, his tongue did that thing that David liked. Circled around just under the head of his cock. He pulled just the head of his cock into his mouth. Pulled off him. And then pulled as much of his cock in as he could. Patrick’s hand wrapped around the base of his cock and pumped him.

David, hand still on Patrick’s round ass, began to massage the flesh under his hands. His hips rocked as he worked with Patrick to bring David to that place. He shut his eyes and felt Patrick’s tongue. Felt the vibration of the humm of Patrick’s moan. And then he felt himself at the precipice. And he fell.

He clutched at Patrick and pressed into him. He held his moan as he always did when he came in that small hotel room. But it felt so good.

Typically, when he came in that small bed, he was alone there. And holding Patrick, such that he was… holding Patrick’s legs while Patrick sucked and swallowed the cum he offered… holding him and being held in that small bed. In that small room.

It felt so _fucking good_.

++++++

They lay there together. In David’s small bed. Patrick half on his side, half on his back. David curled up and resting on Patrick’s chest. Patrick’s hand petting his back. They lay there in that space where they weren’t quite asleep, but they weren’t fully awake. Blissful.

There was a quick, frantic-like tapping on the widow of David’s door.

David sat up. Patrick immediately stood. “I got it.” He said.

Patrick went to the door and pulled the blind back and peeked out. He shot David a quizzical look. He opened the door. Stevie stepped in. Hair mussed. Eyeliner smudged. T-shirt rumpled. No shoes on her feet.

“I need a condom. I need… condoms.” She said quietly. Her voice almost breathless.

David tucked his lips into his mouth and suppressed a grin. Without hesitation he reached under the bed and pulled out a box and handed it to Patrick.

Patrick opened the box and held it out to Stevie. She reached in and pulled out a condom. Then looked at David. She reached into the box and took out another.

Patrick grinned at her. “Maybe take a third… just in case?” He teased.

“Fuck you,” she said. Then she reached in and pulled out a third condom and turned to leave.

“Do you need some lube?” Patrick asked seriously.

She turned. “Why the fuck would I need lube?” With that she turned and left the room, pulling the door shut behind her.

“She doesn’t need lube.” Patrick said at the same time David said, “No lube necessary…Nope.”

Patrick chuckled, handed the box over to David.

“Babe. Want me to leave so your parents don’t know I’ve been here?” Patrick asked him honestly. He stood by the bed, not wanting to assume that he could stay.

“HmmMmm. No.” David raised his arms and made _gimme_ hands.

Patrick got back into bed and they adjusted themselves. David resting on Patrick’s chest.

“Who’s the guy she’s with?” Patrick asked.

“Some guy who writes hotel reviews of little obscure hotels.” David told him. His fingers moving, back and forth over Patrick’s chest.

“Have you seen him?” Patrick asked.

“No. I just know he exists.” David breathed in the smell of Patrick. He loved the smell of Patrick.

“You think she’s OK?” Patrick asked.

“If she came asking for condoms, she’s more than OK.” David said. “She can take care of herself. You don’t have to protect her.” David loved that Patrick was concerned about her.

“K.” Patrick said quietly. Relaxing completely with David in his arms. 

“When can we get into the apartment to start painting?” David asked him.

Patrick yawned. “We?” He smiled. His arm around David tightened. Pulling him closer.

“I have to supervise you. Make sure you don’t drip on the floors.” David’s fingers drew invisible shapes on his chest.

“I have the key. We can do it anytime.” Patrick mumbled.

“Then tomorrow we’ll go into Elmdale and buy the paint.” David said.

“Whatever you say, David.”

“We’re also going to need to buy a lot of cleaner. There’s a lot to clean in that place.” David’s mind was racing. He was starting a mental list.

“Yup.” Patrick’s eyes were getting heavy.

“And I’m not sure what you want to do about furnishing it. We can maybe order some things.” David said.

“Mmmm.”

“And you’ll need some good towels for the bathroom. Curtains. New curtains. We’re taking down every one of those that are hanging in there and burning them. We’ll need to measure the windows before we go shopping.” David said.

Patrick made a quiet noise that David took as a sound of agreement.

“Not sure about your kitchen. Not sure what you have stored at your parent’s place. But we’ll need to get that. And go shopping for the rest. What kind of budget to you have for this?”

He was met with silence.

“Patrick?”

Patrick made a snorting sound and rolled toward David. The movement pushed David over. David grinned and rolled. He knew what Patrick was doing. His body was moving them to spoon. He rolled away from Patrick and felt himself be pulled backward. Pulled against Patrick’s warm chest.

Patrick’s arm pressed against him. Pulling him back tight. And David’s hands wrapped around Patrick’s forearm. He shut his eyes and began to drift to sleep.

“Spend whatever you want to make it comfortable, Babe.” Patrick said quietly in his ear. “You can make it look great. I know you can.”

And David smiled. Knowing he _would_ make the place look great. Knowing that they were about to enter another chapter in their relationship. And he was going to be a _big part_ of Patrick being happy in his new third floor penthouse.

++


	7. Preparations: Part 1 of 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick start to work on Patrick's apartment. David conspires with Patrick's mom. Patrick discovers a picture in David's phone that he really likes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between 5.03 and 5.04.  
> +++
> 
> This is Part 1 of 4 parts. I could have crammed it all in one chapter, but I don't want to do that in this series. Like in LOL Part 2, when I have a long story to tell, I plan to break it into parts so that all my chapters are very near the same length. 
> 
> +++
> 
> I do feel like I need to say this. I realize they did not paint Patrick's apartment in the show. If you watch the the scenes in the apartment (and there are not that many scenes in the apartment) there is ample evidence that the gross aging on the walls and kitchen cabinets are never cleaned or painted over. I simply do NOT believe that David would let Patrick live with walls like that. HE may live with walls like that at the motel, but he would want to have Patrick paint his place. So it was my plan to have them paint. I veered from cannon. What can I say? *Shoulder shrug emoji*
> 
> +++
> 
> This chapter is a light little thing. It is intended to set us up for Part 2, which will have more MEAT. (i.e.: emotions.... and sex *Laughing with tears emoji*). 
> 
> I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> \- PD
> 
> ++

++++++

Patrick was in the back-storage area rearranging the boxes of inventory. They had just filled the online orders. Patrick had taken the shipments to the post office. He had returned to the store where David had stocked all the shelves. There was no paperwork needing done, and he was feeling restless so he started in on the rearranging.

David was at the front of the store. Watering the herbs and dusting the shelves. Keeping an eye on the storefront. A typical Monday morning. It would be slow until more in-store traffic came in after lunch.

He heard David talking on the phone and figured it was with a vendor so he ignored the voices, and continued to work.

++++++

David had just hung up the phone with Heather. He had called to give her the report about how the Saturday Meet the Maker numbers came out. What sold and what they may want for their next order, when the store’s phone rang.

“Rose Apothecary. This is David. How may I help you today?” He said politely.

“David, Hello. This is Marcy Brewer.”

“Mrs. Brewer. How are you today?” David asked.

“I’m well, David. How are you boys doing? Are you keeping busy?”

“Very. He’s in the back, rearranging inventory. Let me go get him.” David said.

“No. David. I called the store phone hoping to catch you.” Mrs. Brewer insisted.

“Oh.” David smiled, eyes dancing. “OK.”

“Patrick has told me he doesn’t need anything for the new apartment. And I want to get some things for him.” Patrick’s mom confided.

“Well that’s nice of you.” David said.

“What does he need?” She asked him.

“I think it would be easier to list the things he doesn’t need.” David said with a little laugh in his voice.

“That’s what I was afraid of.” Mrs. Brewer said.

“I don’t know what he has there. Stored at your house?” David said.

“Honey. No. He can’t use those things.” She said.

“No?” David asked. “Patrick has been pretty insistent that he has some things there?”

“They are so old, David. They are things he brought from his dorm room and apartment in college. Surely he’s not going to want these milk crates and wooden planks he used for book shelves.” Mrs. Brewer told him.

“Oh m’god. _That’s_ what he has there? He’s been talking about getting his things from home. I had no idea.” David said.

“He has some kitchen items, but… David… they’re all old hand-me-downs and nothing matches. Surely he needs to start fresh.” She said.

“Yes. Let’s encourage _that_.” David agreed with her.

“Tell me the plan for how he’s going to get it ready.” Marcy said.

“We are going into Elmdale tonight. I’m going to pick a new paint color for the walls. We’re also going to get cleaning supplies.” David said.

“Excellent. I’m so glad you’re helping him with this, David.” She said.

“Well… of course I’m going to help him. We can’t leave these decisions up to him, now can we?” David laughed.

++++++

Patrick moved the last stack of boxes and brushed his hands together as he surveyed his work. A job well done. A job that probably didn’t need to be done, but it kept him busy.

Only then did he pick up on the words David was saying as he talked on the phone in the other room.

“We are going to go into Elmdale tonight. I’m going to pick a new paint color for the walls. We’re also going to get cleaning supplies.” David said.

Patrick quickly turned and headed into the storefront. “David?” He asked as he walked toward him.

“Well… of course I’m going to help him. We can’t leave these decisions up to him, now can we?” David laughed.

“Who are you talking to? David?” He knew before he asked.

“Your Mom.” David held his hand over the speaker of the phone. “We’re talking about what your new place needs.”

Patrick reached his hand out. “David. No. I don’t want her feeling like she has to do …”

“Yeah. He’s here now. He’s fussing about something, Mrs. Brewer. Just a minute; let me ask him.” He held the phone to his chest. “Patrick your mom wants to know where you plan on purchasing things so she can buy a few of the things you want.”

“David. No. I said I don’t want her to feel like she needs to get anything.”

“She wants to.” David argued with him.

“David, give me the phone.” Patrick’s extended hand wiggled.

David put the phone to his ear. “Mrs. Brewer, I’m sorry, he’s being a little stubborn right now. He wants to talk to you…..yes… Oh yes, for sure… I will let you know. It may be _his_ place, but he doesn’t have final decision on everything, does he?” David smiled as he talked to her. “MmHmm. Right. Yes. M’Kay, Mrs. Brewer. I’m handing the phone over to him. Yes… it was lovely to chat. Yes, for sure I will send the list. It’s very generous of you. I know… he’s your boy and you want the best for him. Nobody can fault you for that! OK… good bye.”

David handed the phone to Patrick who took the phone and walked through the curtained doorway and into the back office.

David grinned broadly, pulled out his phone and began searching for items he could add to Mrs. Brewer’s shopping list.

++++++

It was board meeting night at the AIDS Center. So, they did what they’d done the last few times. Patrick drove them to Elmdale and dropped David off at the Center, then he went to his gym.

He put his earbuds in and got on the treadmill. He ran. He thought about his apartment. What it would be like to just _be_ there. No roommates. No parents. Nobody. Just him.

And he thought about David. Thought about the two of them. He thought about the things they’d do in that apartment. The things he’d do _to_ David. The things David would do _to_ him.

Then he thought about the steps that needed to come next. He needed to talk to his parents. Soon. He needed to be open with them and let them know. And then… then he was going to ask David to marry him.

He wanted to shut out the thoughts that wouldn’t leave his head. He increased the speed on the treadmill, he cranked up the volume on his earbuds. He sang the songs in his head. Maybe he should be embarrassed. Taylor Swift. Miley Cyrus. Katy Perry. He shook his head and laughed to himself. David’s tastes were becoming his own.

++++++

Patrick sat in his car in the parking lot of the Center. He prepared himself to wait, as he always did. Prepared himself for watching them. David was always nearly the last one out. Always stayed behind to talk with Cody.

Much to Patrick’s surprise, David was among the first board members out of the building. Bag in hand he rushed across the parking lot. Waving at Patrick and smiling ear to ear.

“Hi.” He said breathlessly when he got into the car. He leaned over and met Patrick with a kiss.

“Hi. That was fast!” Patrick said.

“I want to have time at the store before it closes.” David buckled his seat belt. “Let’s go!”

++++++

They walked into the large home improvement store and David grabbed a cart. He stood for a moment taking it in. He’d been by the store many times, but had never been in it. Honestly? He had never been in anything like it. It was a bit…overwhelming.

“This way.” Patrick said and walked briskly away from David down the large, main aisle to the paint supplies area.

David trailed behind him and glanced down every aisle as they moved toward their destination. He quickly inventoried all that he passed.

They stood in front of the paint displays. David stood; one hand on his hip, the other hand on Patrick’s shoulder. Patrick’s hands were stuffed deep into his own pockets.

“Oh, this will do nicely.” David said as he slowly ran his eyes over every color on the paint chips that were displayed.

“David. Don’t go crazy here. Let’s just paint it white and be done.” Patrick said. “After living with all those flowers on the wall, I think white would be nice.”

“No. Sweetie.” David waved Patrick away. “Go get the supplies you need. I’m going to spend some time with these samples.”

Patrick shook his head and walked down the aisle. He first looked for a small container of spackling and a putty knife. He walked back to the cart that was parked near David and he put them in.

He looked at David and asked, “Did you pick something?”

“Sweetie. No. Just…” David waved Patrick away.  
  
He walked back down the aisle and looked for some blue painter’s tape. He bought a package of 3 rolls. His dad always taught him to tape off everything before even opening the paint can. Patrick would be damned if he had a sloppy paint job.

Near the paint, he found a package of disposable drop cloths. A sanding sponge. He walked the items back to where David still stood. He deposited them in the cart.

He stood by David. Put his hand on David’s lower back and rubbed tiny circles with his hand. “How’s it going, Babe?” He asked.

“Narrowing it down.” David said. Brow furrowed. Arms crossed over himself, one hand propped under his chin.

“Want to show me?” Patrick asked.

“Do you trust me?” David asked.

“Of course.” Patrick said without hesitation.

“Then leave me alone and go get the rest of the things you’ll need.” David leaned over and gave Patrick a kiss on the cheek and then swatted his rear end and waved his hand as though to shoo Patrick away.

Patrick grinned at him and left him with the paint chips.

He chose a set of two paint rollers, imagining that maybe… possibly… David may want to help him paint. Two packages of paint roller covers. Two paint trays. A package of detail brushes.

When he deposited the items in the cart he said to David, “OK, Mister. Let’s make a decision.”

“Done.” David said.

“Really?”

“Well… kind of. I have it narrowed down to three and I think we should get samples and test them out on the wall at your place.”

“David. It doesn’t matter. Just pick one.”

“I’m sorry? It doesn’t matter?” David challenged him. He turned and looked seriously at Patrick. He held a set of paint chips in his hand.

“I thought you said we were going to get taupe.” Patrick said.

“Do you know how many shades of taupe there are?” David asked.

“I like that one.” Patrick pointed at one of the colors David held in his hands.

“Well so do I, that’s why it’s in my hand. But will the sunlight of the morning in your apartment like that color? We have yet to know.” David said seriously.

“M’Kay.” Patrick nodded. “I see what you’re saying. But, David, I don’t mind if the sunlight of the morning changes the feel of the color of the walls.”

“Maybe _I_ care.” David said.

“Which three colors do you want to get?” Patrick asked, resigned to doing what David wanted.

David handed Patrick the paint chips for the three colors. Patrick went to the sample shelf and found the small, sample-containers of paint that corresponded with the numbers that David chose. He put them in the cart and then walked down the aisle away from David.

“Where are you going?” David asked.

“To get some primer. We’re going to have to paint over the colors you end up not choosing before we paint the final color.”

++++++

Tuesday night after work, they drove to the apartment and carried their supplies upstairs.

They passed a couple who was coming downstairs. Patrick nodded a hello.

When they got to his door, he put his things down and dug in his pocket for his keys. He unlocked the door and let it swing open.

David and Patrick stood in the doorway. Neither making the move to enter.

David looked at Patrick and smiled. “Big step.” He said quietly.

“Pretty big.” Patrick grinned at him. He leaned over and kissed David. Not a peck. Not a gentle smooch. But he pulled him near. His mouth opened slightly. He pulled David’s lip into his mouth. David wrapped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders and melted into the kiss.

When they pulled back, David tilted his head toward the apartment. “Are you going to invite me in to your new place?”

Patrick winked at him. Then extended his arm and hand. “David. Welcome to my new home.”

David walked in. Patrick leaned over and picked up the bags of supplies and put them just inside the door.

David walked to the center of the room. Hands down at his side. He looked at the walls. The brick fireplace.

He turned to Patrick who stood near the door. Hands dug deep in his pockets. He watched David. Wondered what he was thinking.

“Where do we start?” David asked as he pushed up the sleeves of his sweater.

++++++

David wasn’t kidding when he said they were going to take down the curtains. It was the first thing he did. He piled them all in the middle of the room while Patrick worked on finding holes and covering them with spackling.

When David finished, he told Patrick, “That looks easy. I can do that. If I do that, what can you do?”

Patrick taught David how to dip the spackling knife into the spackling and scrape it against the wall over one nail hole at a time. Taught him to scrape over it to even it out and then leave it to dry.  
  
Patrick went down to the car to retrieve the stepladder he brought from the store. He set about taping off the windows. The fireplace. The ceiling.

While they worked, David’s phone blared music. He took pictures of Patrick. Patrick took pictures of him.

Before they knew it, it was late. Patrick declared it time to leave.

David felt a sense of pride as he looked around the room at all the white patches on the walls. He was starting to envision what this little place could become.

++++++

The next night, they were back at it. Patrick taught David, who was smart to bring a change of clothing this time, how to run the sand sponge over the dried white spackling. Patrick finished taping.

They brought out the small paint brushes and, to David’s delight, were able to paint small patches on each wall of the three taupe-shaded paints. David wanted to be sure to have each of the three paints on different walls so he could compare them. He wrote notes in his journal and was soon ready to leave.

“It’s Dark now. We’ll have to come back tomorrow… several times… to look at them in different light.” David said optimistically.

Patrick looked at the samples painted on the walls and thought that they were all close enough in shade that it didn’t matter to him what they chose. But it clearly mattered to David. “Whatever you say.” He told him.

As they locked up the apartment and descended the stairs, they chatted quietly about the things they wanted to add to the list of things Patrick would need.

++++++

It took David two days. Two days of going to the apartment at different times. Comparing the colors in the light of the morning, the light of the mid-day, the early evening. And at night. He examined where shadows fell and their impact on the colors. Each time he stood in the apartment he made notes and at one point, Patrick stopped going with him. He stayed back and looked after the store while David went back and forth. Taking note after note.

Thursday night, they went to Elmdale and purchased the paint they would need in the color David chose.

“So… to be clear,” Patrick noted to David as they stood side-by-side, watching as the paint was being mixed, “This was the first color I pointed to when you held up my options on Monday. We could have saved some time.”

“My notes indicate that after several trials at different times of day, this one holds up to be the best color for your space.” David ignored Patrick’s teasing.

“But… it’s accurate to say I chose this one…Right?” Patrick persisted.

David raised his chin and shook his head. His eyes rolled. “That was merely a coincidence.”

“OhhKay.” Patrick nodded and slid an arm around David’s waist.

++++++

David settled down in his bed. Earphones on his head. Patrick singing to him.

Alexis kicked his bed. She stood over him, shaking a bottle of nail polish in her hands.

He pushed the earphones back, they settled around his neck. “What?” He asked sharply.

“Are you all right? You _seem_ all right.” Alexis said as she sat down on her bed.

“What are you talking about?” David asked her.

She handed over the bottle of nail polish.

He sighed and pulled the earphones off his neck and moved to sit up on the side of the bed. He took the nail polish from her and shook it a few more times.

Alexis lifted her leg and propped her foot on his knee. “I mean, David, you thought you were moving in with him and you aren’t?”

David unscrewed the nail polish and shrugged. He dipped the brush into the bottle and scraped it on the side and then proceeded to paint her big toenail. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Are you?” She asked.

“I am. Honestly.” David looked up at her before dipping the brush in for more polish. “We talked. It’s for the best. It’s just not quite the right time.” He continued to paint.

“You seem OK. But…”

“But, what?” David cut her off. He painted her pinky toenail. He returned the brush to the bottle and then waved his hand over her toes.

“You were pretty excited, David.” She said.

“So?” He tapped her foot. She dropped it to the floor and replaced it with her other foot.

“So? What are you feeling now?” She asked.

“I’m fine. I’m helping get his place ready. We’re going to move him in.” He locked eyes with his sister to assure her that he truly was fine.

“And… _you’re OK_ with that.” Alexis said. She tugged on her hair. She would be devastated if she thought she was going to move in with Ted and he didn’t want her to.

“I am.” David bounced the brush in the nail polish a couple of times and then pulled it out to paint her big toenail.

“Why?” She asked.

“Alexis.” David’s voice was a plea for her to stop the line of questioning. He painted another toenail.

“David. I just want to be sure you two are good.” Alexis said. Protective of her brother’s heart that has seen so much worse than any one person deserves. And she felt in her heart that if David’s relationship didn’t make it, there was no way in hell hers would.

“We’re really good, Alexis.” He looked at her and smiled before he continued painting. “I mean…maybe even better now? _Because_ of the misunderstanding?”

Alexis tossed her hair over her shoulder. “What do you mean.”

He painted her little toenail and screwed the lid back on the nail polish. He looked up at his sister while his hand waved over her toes. “Because we talked about it. And… I think he has plans…” He handed her the nail polish.

“Plans for what?” She asked him.

“Our future.” David eyed his sister and gave her a smile. That smile where he pulls his mouth to the side and his eyes twinkle.  
  
He picked up his earphones and put them back on his head and he crawled into bed without saying another word.

Alexis watched him and smiled. She hoped, for his sake… for Patrick’s sake… that he was right. Because she’d never seen her brother happier. Or more at ease with himself.

++++++

_You (10:32 pm):_

‘Patrick’

_Mr. Brewer (10:32 pm):_

‘David’

_You (10:32 pm):_

‘You changed your name in my phone.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:32 pm):_

*Winking face emoji* ‘I did’

_You (10:33 pm):_

‘You’ve not done that before’

_Mr. Brewer (10:33 pm):_

‘I figure if you can do it…’

_You (10:33 pm):_

‘What else have you done in my phone?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:33 pm):_

‘Why does it matter?’

_You (10:34 pm):_

‘Because as you are so fond of telling me, phones are private spaces.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:34 pm):_

‘Oh. Is that why you’re always in mine?’

_You (10:34 pm):_

‘Seriously. Patrick.’

‘Please tell me you’re not going through my contacts.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:34 pm):_

‘Babe. You have my word.’

‘I will NEVER go through your contacts… until the day you sit with me and walk me through it name by name’

‘and watch my every expression.’

_You (10:35 pm):_

‘I can assure you that will NEVER happen.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:35 pm):_

‘OK’

_You (10:35 pm):_

‘So? What were you doing in my phone?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:35 pm):_

‘Looking at pictures’

_You (10:36 pm):_

‘When?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:36 pm):_

‘When you were napping at the store earlier today’

_You (10:36 pm):_

‘It was slow. My work was done.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:36 pm):_

‘I know.’

_You (10:37 pm):_

‘What did you see in the pictures?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:37 pm):_

‘Just all the pics you saved of us. I like them.’

_You (10:37 pm):_

‘OK’

_Mr. Brewer (10:37 pm):_

‘Also, a pic I’ve never seen.’

_You (10:38 pm):_

‘Oh?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:38 pm):_

‘I love it.’

_You (10:38 pm):_

‘What picture?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:38 pm):_

‘That’s private.’

_You (10:39 pm):_

‘Like phones are private?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:39 pm):_

‘Yeah. Like that.’

_You (10:39 pm):_

‘If you tell me, I’ll send it to you.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:39 pm):_

‘Who do you think you’re talking to?’

‘I already sent it to myself.’

David scrolled up the text string to see what photo that Patrick sent to himself. He saw no photo in their text string.

_You (10:40 pm):_

‘I don’t see that you sent anything from me to you.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:40 pm):_

‘I deleted it from your text string.’

_You (10:40 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

‘What was the picture.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:41 pm):_

*Patrick sent David the picture he had texted to himself earlier that day*

_You (10:41 pm):_

‘Oh god.’

‘Patrick delete that.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:41 pm):_

‘Why would I delete it?’

_You (10:41 pm):_

‘Because I don’t want to be made fun of about that portrait.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:42 pm):_

‘Babe. I’m not going to make fun of you.’

‘I’m serious. I love this.’

_You (10:42 pm):_

‘I don’t even know why.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:42 pm):_

‘David.’

_You (10:42 pm):_

‘What.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:43 pm):_

‘Don’t laugh at me for what I’m about to tell you.’

_You (10:43 pm):_

‘Why would I laugh at you?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:43 pm):_

‘You look like a prince.’

David looked at the words on his phone. He was not sure how to respond.

_Mr. Brewer (10:44 pm):_

‘David?’

_You (10:44 pm):_

‘Are you making fun of me?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:44 pm):_

‘I’m not.’

‘David. You’re beautiful. Polished. Regal.’

‘And preserved on canvas. Like a portrait of a prince.’

_You (10:45 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:45 pm):_

‘MY prince.’

Tears stung at David’s eyes. He rolled to his side so that his sister wouldn’t see him wipe a tear away.

_You (10:46 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

‘Are you teasing me?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:46 pm):_

‘no’

‘David. I’m not.’

‘Do you want me to call you?’

_You (10:46 pm):_

‘No. Alexis is here.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:47 pm):_

‘I found the picture on your phone.’

‘I just stared at it for a long time while you slept.’

‘I figured since it came from your past life that you may not want me to see it.’

_You (10:47 pm):_

‘I didn’t want you to see it.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:47 pm):_

‘Then why did you save it?’

_You (10:48 pm):_

‘Truth telling.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:48 pm):_

‘Yes.’

_You (10:49 pm):_

‘Some weird friends of the family bought it when they auctioned off all our belongings.’

‘They sent it here last year.’

‘My parents brought it inside.’

‘It was a huge, atrocious thing.’

‘And it was a painful reminder of what we lost.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:49 pm):_

‘I understand that.’

‘Why did you take a picture of it?’

_You (10:50 pm):_

‘Because it was also a reminder of what we once were.’

‘I don’t want to forget what we once were.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:50 pm):_

‘Why not?’

_You (10:50 pm):_

‘Because.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:51 pm):_

‘You don’t want to say any more than that?’

_You (10:51 pm):_

‘I don’t want to forget what life was like before.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:51 pm):_

‘I understand. It was a good life.’

_You (10:51 pm):_

‘No. Patrick. You don’t understand.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:52 pm):_

‘So tell me, David.’

_You (10:52 pm):_

‘Life is so much better now.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:52 pm):_

‘OK.’

_You (10:53 pm):_

‘That portrait? That isn’t even Alexis. She wasn’t there.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:53 pm):_

‘Looks like her.’

_You (10:53 pm):_

‘It was one of Dad’s assistants. Alexis was off with her boyfriend who was at rehab.’

‘They painted her face by looking at a picture I had in my room.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:54 pm):_

‘I’m glad you like life better now.’

_You (10:54 pm):_

‘I do.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:54 pm):_

‘I’m selfishly so glad that you had to move here.’

_You (10:55 pm):_

‘I’m glad that you freaked out on your fiancé.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:55 pm):_

‘David’

_You (10:55 pm):_

‘And then quit your job’

‘And packed your belongings.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:56 pm):_

‘David’

_You (10:56 pm):_

‘And found a job and a room for rent’

_Mr. Brewer (10:56 pm):_

‘David’

_You (10:57 pm):_

‘And that you were at Ray’s the moment I walked in to get help with the paperwork.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:57 pm):_

‘We were both in the right place at the right time.’

_You (10:57 pm):_

‘Mr. Brewer.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:58 pm):_

‘I love you, David.’

_You (10:58 pm):_

‘I love you, too.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:58 pm):_

‘And I love this pic of you.’

_You (10:59 pm):_

‘I don’t feel that it looks like me now.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:59 pm):_

‘It doesn’t.’

_You (10:59 pm):_

‘So why do you want it?’

‘I don’t understand.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:59 pm):_

‘I told you.’

‘You look like a prince.’

‘You’re beautiful in this.’

_You (11:00 pm):_

‘Patrick!’

‘Are you saying I’m NOT beautiful now?!’

*Middle finger emoji*

_Mr. Brewer (11:00 pm):_

‘No. Not what I’m saying.’

_You (11:00 pm):_

‘You have about 2 minutes to clarify.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:01 pm):_

‘I rarely get a glimpse into your past life. This gives me one.’

‘You looked polished. Uncomfortable.’

‘The David I know now must have been stuck in that brain. Wanting out.’

_You (11:01 pm):_

‘I was miserable.’

‘I just didn’t know it.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:01 pm):_

‘If I could, I’d walk right into that portrait and take his hand and walk him out of it.’

_You (11:02 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:02 pm):_

‘I would save that prince.’

_You (11:02 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:03 pm):_

‘I know. I know.’

‘You can save yourself.’

‘I’m sorry for perpetuating hetero-normative gender-role stereotypes.’ *Shoulder shrug emoji*

‘You don’t like when I do that.’

_You (11:03 pm):_

‘I wasn’t ready for you to save me then.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:03 pm):_

‘OK.’

_You (11:04 pm):_

‘But you saved me at just the right time.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:04 pm):_

‘David.’

_You (11:04 pm):_

‘Patrick’

_Mr. Brewer (11:04 pm):_

‘My prince.’

_You (11:05 pm):_

‘My gallant knight in shining armor.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:05 pm):_

*Red heart emoji*

_You (11:05 pm):_

‘All right. This has gone on long enough.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:06 pm):_

‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Babe.’

_You (11:06 pm):_

‘How about you don’t come in?’

_Mr. Brewer (11:06 pm):_

‘???’

_You (11:06 pm):_

‘Working on the walls for 2 hours a night is going to take forever.’

‘I’ll take care of the store. You go paint. Spend the day there.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:07 pm):_

‘You sure?’

‘That’s a lot of work for you to do the store alone on a Friday.’

_You (11:07 pm):_

‘Bring me lunch’

_Mr. Brewer (11:07 pm):_

‘Deal.’

_You (11:08 pm):_

‘We need to get you moved in.’

‘I’ve got plans’

_Mr. Brewer (11:08 pm):_

‘Oh?’

_You (11:08 pm):_

‘Belts and ribbons.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:09 pm):_

‘Oh!’

_You (11:09 pm):_

‘Do you have plans?’

_Mr. Brewer (11:09 pm):_

‘Oh, I have plans.’

_You (11:10 pm):_

‘You going to tell me?’

_Mr. Brewer (11:10 pm):_

‘Good night my sweet prince.’

_You (11:10 pm):_

‘Patrick’

_Mr. Brewer (11:11 pm):_

‘I will see you at lunch time tomorrow.’

_You (11:11 pm):_

‘Patrick?’

_Mr. Brewer (11:11 pm):_

‘David.’

_You (11:11 pm):_

‘Plans?’

_Mr. Brewer (11:12 pm):_

‘Plans to bring you lunch tomorrow for being the world’s best boyfriend and taking care of the store all by yourself.’

_You (11:12 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:12 pm):_

‘What?’

_You (11:13 pm):_

‘I love you, too.’

‘Good night.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:13 pm):_

‘Seriously? I called you my prince. I don’t get anything?’

*Person shrugging emoji*

_You (11:13 pm):_

‘Good night my brave knight.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:14 pm):_

‘That’s better.’

_You (11:14 pm):_

‘My brave knight who cannot keep the fucking tile from falling off the restroom wall.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:14 pm):_

‘David.’

_You (11:15 pm):_

‘And who, if it were not for me and his mother would be having milk crates and wooden planks shipped here to recreate a bookshelf he had in college.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:15 pm):_

‘David.’

_You (11:15 pm):_

‘Let’s not forget who rescued whom.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:16 pm):_

‘OK. Truce.’

_You (11:16 pm):_

‘We rescued each other.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:16 pm):_

‘We rescued ourselves by trusting each other.’

_You (11:17 pm):_

‘OK. Bla bla.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:17 pm):_

‘It’s late. We’ve talked nearly an hour.’

‘We need to go to sleep.’

_You (11:17 pm):_

‘I can’t get the story out of my mind. I may have to write it down.’

‘I may dream about it tonight.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:17 pm):_

‘Story?’

_You (11:18 pm):_

‘Me. Sitting in our old home.’

‘Dressed in that suit. Just sitting there while the portrait was being painted.’

‘You coming in from nowhere and holding out your hand.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:18 pm):_

‘Come, Fair Prince. Let me show you what it is like to be loved.’

_You (11:18 pm):_

‘You showed me what it’s like.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:19 pm):_

‘Yeah, I did.’

*Farmer emoji* *Eggplant emoji*

_You (11:19 pm):_

‘Oh. Excuse me. I showed YOU what THAT was like.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:19 pm):_

‘Yeah, you did.’

*Eggplant emoji* *Peach emoji*

_You (11:20 pm):_

‘OMG. Stop it.’

‘OK. I’m calling this. Go to sleep.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:20 pm):_

‘I love you.’

_You (11:20 pm):_

‘I know.’

‘I love you.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:21 pm):_

‘See you at lunch.’

_You (11:21 pm):_

‘Get that place painted.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:21 pm):_

‘I will.’

_You (11:22 pm):_

‘Good night, Mr. Brewer.’

_Mr. Brewer (11:22 pm):_

‘Good night, Prince David.’

++

End Part 1 of 4

++


	8. Preparations: Part 2 of 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick paints the apartment while David works at the store. Patrick meets a neighbor. David and Patrick have a moment of passion in the empty apartment that leads to a moment of panic. The two men end up alone in their own spaces. Each reaching out to a friend for support. Patrick hears from his dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between 5.03 and 5.04. 
> 
> *****SPOILER WARNING*****  
> The following warnings basically give away the entire plot of this chapter. If you don't want to read about what is going to happen, and you're not worried about triggers... do not read the warnings below. 
> 
> *****TRIGGER WARNING*****  
> This chapter contains a scene that could be seen as rough sex (for readers who read SMBD, this is DEFINITELY NOT rough at all - but for regular readers of my work it may be seen as rough)... I don't know. I just feel like maybe I need to put a warning here so nobody sends messages of being caught off guard. *Shoulder shrug emoji*
> 
> *****TRIGGER WARNING*****  
> Story contains a condom breaking. If reading about a condom breaking could trigger you, please consider not reading this chapter. 
> 
> *****TRIGGER WARNING*****  
> Story contains an anxiety attack. If reading about an anxiety attack could trigger you, please consider not reading this chapter
> 
> ****END OF WARNINGS****
> 
> I want to send a shout out of love and thanks to three special ones. To DP. To Emu. To Elsewhere. You know why. I love each of you and appreciate your friendship. 
> 
> +++
> 
> This is part 2 of 4 parts. As I stated in the previous chapter, I wanted all of my chapters to be close in length so I've split this part of the story up. This one is heavy. Arguments and all. Rest assured everyone will land softly by part 4. Trust me. *Winking face emoji*
> 
> I hope you enjoy.  
> \- PD
> 
> ++

++++++

Patrick was at the apartment early. David had said he would take care of the store and Patrick had all day to get the paint up. He was excited to have hours to do the work. The sooner he had it finished, the sooner he could move in.

He was excited to get started. The furniture was scheduled to be delivered the next day. He had plans. Big plans. And one of them was to get David on the new bed and take his time with him. Make love to him. Make him food. Feed him. And make love to him some more.

He skipped his early morning jog and went straight to the café. He sat at the counter and ate an order of eggs and toast. He ordered a blueberry muffin to go and stopped by the store. In the office he left a note and the muffin for David.

_D-_

_Thank you for taking care of the store today._

_Here around noon to take you to lunch._

_Text if you want me to come in._

_Love you._

_-P_

++++++

He opened all the windows when he got to the apartment. He played the local radio station on his old portable radio/CD player. Poured the primer into one of the trays and started rolling it onto the walls. He sang as he worked. He was happy.

Around 7:30 there was a knock at the door.

Brows furrowed, he went to the door and opened it.

There stood a young woman. Petite. Blonde. Late 20s.

“Hi! I heard the music and thought I’d stop in. I’m your neighbor. Apartment 6.” She pointed with her thumb over her shoulder to the door at the end of the hallway.

“Oh, hi.” Patrick pushed back the bill of his hat. It sat, crooked, on his head.

She held out her hand. “I’m Katie.”

“Patrick.” Patrick shook her hand. Then nervously put his hands on his waist. Nodded his head. He had no idea what to say.

“I kept hearing someone here in the evenings. Hadn’t heard you during the day.” She said.

“Oh. Sorry. I hope I wasn’t too noisy.” Patrick said sheepishly.

“No. It’s fine. Looks like you’re fixing it up. That’s good.” She seemed cheerful.

“Yeah. Yeah… puttin’ on a coat of paint.” Patrick nodded. Looked at his shoes.

“So… are you moving in soon? Or…”

“Yeah. Planning to. Waitin’ on some things that I ordered to come in.” He looked in her eyes. Smiled politely.

“That’s great! Ummm… I have to get going. Get to work. Will you be here later?” She asked.

“Maybe. Yeah. Here until I get everything painted.” Patrick said.

“OK. Umm… I may see you after work… maybe.” She said.

Patrick nodded. “OK. Have a good day… Katie.” He tugged on the brim of his hat. Pulling it down over his forehead.

“You too, Patrick.” She offered a toothy grin, turned, and walked down the hallway to the stairs.

++++++

Patrick stood outside the store and watched David talking with the group of women. He opened samples and held them out for them to try. Patrick knew that David was up-selling the lot of them. _The perfect salesman._

He opened the door and went inside. They locked eyes. David raised his eyebrows. Patrick winked.

As the ladies made their way to the register, Patrick moved to check them out. David continued to help others in the store until the last one was gone.

“Been busy?” Patrick asked.

“In a good way.” David said sidling up to him. Wrapping one arm around him. Kissing him on the cheek.

“Want me to go get food?” Patrick offered. He patted David’s lower back.

David threw his head back and shook his head. “No. Get me out of here for a bit.”

Patrick locked the door and then offered his arm. David looped his through it. David quietly leaned into him as they strolled to the café for lunch.

There, David insisted on sitting on the same side of the booth because he wanted to show Patrick the things he had put on the list to order for the apartment. The things he had told Patrick’s mom about earlier in the week.

“David, I don’t need new towels.” Patrick protested.

“You do. The ones I use are Rays. You need… at a minimum… more towels. But honestly, Patrick? You need _nicer_ ones.”

“All right.” Patrick nodded his head and took a bite of his sandwich. “But I don’t want my mom buying all of that.”

“She just wanted a list to choose from. Once we know what she’s purchased, we’ll get the rest ourselves.” David assured him.

“Mmmm.” Patrick said. His mouth full of food.

“Now… let’s talk kitchen supplies.” David said swiping his finger over his phone’s display.

++++++

Patrick worked, radio blaring music from the local station that played such a mish-mash of music that half the fun was waiting to hear what song would come on next. He had a small container of paint and a detail brush in his hands. He was working on the walls along the windows, doing final touchups. His paint job was nearly done and he was pleased with how it looked.

There was a knock at the door. _David._

He was expecting David. The store had been closed for nearly an hour. David had texted earlier in the day to tell him that he was excited to see the paint job and he would bring dinner to the apartment.

“You know you don’t have to knock! Just come in!” Patrick yelled.

The door swung open and there stood his new neighbor. Two bottles of beer in her hands. “Happy Friday!” She said cheerily.

“Oh. Katie. Ummm…. hi.” Patrick said. He set the container of paint he held down on the drop cloth. Laid the brush beside it and wiped his hands on his shorts.

He walked over to her. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his shorts. Nervous. One hand wrapped around his phone. The other wrapped around his wallet. He squeezed each hand tightly into fists in his pockets. Not sure what to do or say.

“Hi Patrick. Thought you could use a cool drink. Do you drink beer?” She asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, I drink beer. Thanks.” He said. He pushed the bill of his hat back. He took the bottle she offered and took a swig. “Thanks. Hits the spot.” He stood in place. Nodding. Awkward.

“Looks great.” She said. She turned around in a circle and looked at all four walls.

“Thanks. Did… uh… did you have a good day at work?” He asked.

“I did. Thanks for asking.” She said. She reached out and squeezed his bicep. Her hand lingered for a moment.

Patrick’s head lowered and he looked at his feet. “So… uh… what…what do you … I mean… where do you work?”

++++++

David got out of Patrick’s car and reached in for the pizza, the six pack of beer, and his black bag. He entered the building and began the climb to the third floor.

 _Third floor. I’m going to be climbing two flights of stairs every time I want to fuck_. He thought to himself.

He heard Patrick’s voice when he stepped into the third-floor hallway. Knew he was talking to someone. Heard a woman giggle.

As he neared the apartment, he saw that the door was wide open. David stood in the doorway and took in the situation.

He stayed in place and watched, amused, as the petite blonde woman stood near Patrick. She giggled again. Then she put her hand on his arm. “You’re _really_ funny.” She said.

 _All the ladies love Patrick._ He thought, not for the first time.

He watched Patrick shift slightly away from her and take a sip from a bottle of beer. Clearly uncomfortable.

“Hi there!” David said.

Patrick’s head jerked up. “David! Hi! You’re here.”

“Yeah. I’m here. Sorry I’m late; they took their time with the pizza.” He set his bag down just inside the doorway. He put the pizza on the kitchen counter. Put the beer in the refrigerator. He brushed his hands together and then took a few steps closer to where the two stood. “Looks like you have company.”

“David. This is Katie, my new neighbor.” Patrick said.

“Hi Katie.” David took another step closer to her and held out his hand to shake hers.

“Katie. This is David.” Patrick said, “He’s… he’s my…”

“Boyfriend.” David said clearly.

“Boyfriend.” Patrick said sheepishly. A half second behind David’s words.

“Sweetie.” David kissed Patrick on the cheek. “Are you ready to eat? I know you like it when the pizza’s still warm.” David put his hand on Patrick’s back. Rubbed little circles.

“I’m starving.” Patrick said.

Katie watched the two of them for a moment. “Well, I’m going to get going. Nice to meet you, David. Patrick, the place looks great!” She turned to leave.

“Katie, you’re welcome to eat with us.” David said. He extended the invitation earnestly.

“Thanks, David. Maybe another time.” She said.

Patrick walked her to the door. “Thanks for the beer. It was nice chatting.” It was not lost on Patrick that when David was present, Patrick had no trouble finding his words.

Once she had left the apartment, Patrick shut the door and headed straight for the box of pizza.

He lifted the box lid.

“Are we just going to stand over the box like wild animals?” David asked.

Patrick looked around the empty room. There was no furniture. The floor was filthy.

“Just a sec.” he told David.

He walked over to the bags of supplies they had sitting near the fire place. He pulled out a fresh plastic drop cloth that he had not yet used. He opened the package and spread it out on the floor like a picnic blanket. He stood over it and motioned.

“Picnic.” He said with a grin.

David brought the beer and pizza box over. He sat down.

He handed Patrick a beer. Patrick opened it and handed the opened beer back to David who took a swig. He handed Patrick another beer and Patrick opened it and swallowed a gulp.

“She’s cute.” David said. His head nodded toward the door.

“She seems nice enough.” Patrick said.

“She was flirting with you, Mr. Brewer.” David teased.

“Flirting? Nah.” Patrick said averting his eyes.

“Mmm’Kay.” David said with a grin just before he bit into a slice.

++++++

The music played on the radio. David knew Patrick liked to listen to it. There wasn’t a theme to the music being played. Just random song after random song. As they worked, David occasionally hummed a few bars.

Patrick was on the other side of the room doing the last of the touch-ups around the fire place. He was full-on singing the words to the songs. _All_ of the words. To _all_ of the songs.

David stopped wondering a long time ago how Patrick knew all the words to all the songs. _Honestly? How does that even happen?_

Patrick sang the song at full volume. David didn’t know it. Wasn’t sure if he’d really ever heard it. It was some country sounding song about having friends in low places. David had learned in moments like this it was best to just tune Patrick out and drift into his own thoughts.

David’s job that night was to clean the kitchen cabinets with disinfectant. He had on blue latex gloves like those that he wore to clean the restroom at the store. He wielded a disinfectant cleaner in a spray bottle. He had filled the sink with water to rinse the sponge.

 _This is not the type of Friday night I ever envisioned would make me happy._ David thought to himself as he sprayed the disinfecting cleaner on the shelf and wiped it with the sponge while Patrick sang at high volume about beer chasing the blues away. He was happy. He smiled as he thought how very happy.

_Five years ago, on a Friday night at 8:00, I’d just be getting ready to go out on the town._

_Two years ago, I would have been sitting on my bed at the motel. Watching television. Wishing I could find someone to fuck me._

_I wonder where I’ll be two years from now. Maybe we’ll live together by then. God…I hope it’s not here._

The noise brought him out of his thoughts.

The noise Patrick was making. He was still singing. Loudly. The song hand changed. But…. David turned to be sure of what he was hearing. Patrick was dancing. Full. On. Dancing.

David set the spray bottle on the counter. Tossed the sponge into the sink. He leaned back against the counter, crossed his arms, and watched the show.

Patrick faced the fireplace. He had at some point deposited the paint and brush onto the mantle and he was dancing to the song that he clearly knew very well.

David smiled as he watched Patrick’s back.

Watched as he turned his body slightly and pumped his fist and bounced while he sang.

 _Don't want to be a fool for you_ _  
Just another player in your game for two  
You may hate me but it ain't no lie  
Baby bye bye bye_

Patrick swung his arms around and, on one foot, did a turn. As he did so, he caught sight of David. Leaned back against the kitchen counter watching him with a toothy grin on his face.

++++++

Patrick was in heaven. He was dabbing paint along the wall, making sure it went flush to the fireplace without actually getting paint on the fireplace.

_This is a really great paint job. My dad would be really proud of me for this._

David was in the kitchen cleaning.

The radio was playing. He really liked the local station. Every song ever created seemed to come across it at least once in the week. It seldom played the same song within a 24-hour time frame.

_Maybe we should buy ad space on it. Wonder what kind of ad we could do? Maybe David could talk about a product or something._

He sang as he painted. He finished painting around the last window.

_All done._

Then, he heard the first notes to the song. His body began to feel the beat of the song that he knew so well.

He was transported back to the bedroom of his youth. Television on. He watched this video more times than he could count. He knew these dance moves. His body began to move. He pumped his arms. He jumped to one side. Turned. Jumped to the other side. And he sang. Loudly. Because he knew the words. Every. Word.

 _Don't want to be a fool for you_ _  
Just another player in your game for two  
You may hate me but it ain't no lie  
Baby bye bye bye_

Patrick swung his arms around and, on one foot, did a turn. As he did so, he caught sight of David. Leaned back against the counter watching him with a toothy grin on his face.

Patrick stopped dancing and looked at David. Waiting for the hell he would hear for his dance moves.

And then David surprised him. Maybe David surprised them both.

David held one hand up in front of himself and pumped his blue-gloved hand to the words of the song. He walked toward Patrick with his elbows up at shoulder level. Like he was a marionette. Stomped his feet.

When David reached Patrick, he stood beside him. And then the chorus came back on.

 _Don't want to be a fool for you_ _  
Just another player in your game for two  
You may hate me but it ain't no lie  
Baby bye bye bye  
Bye bye  
Don't really want to make it tough  
I just want to tell you that I've had enough  
Might sound crazy but it ain't no lie  
Baby bye bye bye_

The two men moved in unison. The jump to the right side. The left elbow pump. The jump to the left side. And then….the hands, saying… baby bye bye bye.

They laughed while they danced and when the song came to a close, they turned to one another.

“David.” Patrick smiled up at him. A little breathless. A chuckle in his voice. Put his hand on David’s waist. Reached up and kissed him on the neck.

He was startled when he looked into David’s face and he saw a shift in his expression. From laughter to very serious.

David pushed Patrick. Grabbed his shoulders and pushed him backward.

When his back thudded against the window to the left of the fireplace, Patrick made a small noise into David’s mouth. David pressed against him. His tongue delved into Patrick’s mouth. His hand on the back of Patrick’s neck, holding him in the passionate kiss. Controlling it in a way David seldom did.

David grabbed at the hem of Patrick’s t-shirt and pulled it up with one hand. He stood back and pulled the shirt over Patrick’s head and tossed it behind them. When he pulled the shirt off, Patrick’s hat fell. David picked it up. Put it back on Patrick’s head. Put it on backward, with the bill on the back.

 _Fuck me, you sporty little man._ David thought to himself.

David stood back. Pulled the fingers of the blue gloves until they were off his hands. He dropped them onto the floor at his feet.

He looked at Patrick. Brown eyes large; surprised at David’s actions. The right side of Patrick’s mouth pulled back into a slight grin as his eyes dropped to David’s mouth.

 _Fuck. That’s right. Look at my mouth._ David thought to himself.

Patrick remained leaning back against the window. David moved in, again, for more. His mouth worked aggressively down that vein in Patrick’s neck. One hand on the back of Patrick’s neck. The other hand cupping his cock through the fabric of the athletic shorts he wore.

Patrick tilted his head away from David, giving him the space to do what he was doing. Patrick’s hands roaming over David’s back and sides under his sweater.

“David.” Patrick half moaned his name.

David’s lips and tongue worked their way toward Patrick’s ear. “Fuck me, Patrick,” He said roughly in Patrick’s ear.

Patrick pushed away from the window and turned them. Pushed David backward against the wall to the right of them, near the bathroom. Pressed his hands against David’s shoulders. Pressed his back against the wall.

Patrick pulled back and looked at David. David looked down at him with hooded eyes. Patrick pressed against him. Tongue fucking his mouth. Patrick’s hands moved to hold firmly to David’s ass. Pressed their bodies together.

The grinding of Patrick’s hips against him. Feeling Patrick’s hands on his ass. David let the moan in his chest escape him.

Patrick’s hands moved under David’s sweater and traveled up his body, pulling the sweater with them. He pulled it off David and threw the sweater behind them where it fell, inside-out, unfolded, onto the dusty floor.

David growled. His hands held firmly to Patrick’s biceps.

Patrick worked his lips down David’s neck. He bit him. Sucked on him. The way he knew David liked.

David’s hands moved to cup Patrick’s face. He lowered his head and Patrick’s mouth opened to accommodate what he knew David wanted. David’s tongue in Patrick’s mouth was met with greed. A hunger that was not going to be satiated with just a kiss.

Patrick’s hands moved between them. Unfastened David’s jeans. One of Patrick’s hands plunged into his jeans to wrap around his firm, velvety cock. He stroked him. Grasped him. His other hand had a handful of David’s ass, and he squeezed him.

“Fuck me. Patrick.” David said again when he pulled out of their kiss. Lips red, swollen, damp.

“Condoms.” Patrick could not, for all the money in the world, tear his eyes from David’s lips.

David pushed Patrick away and stepped toward the door where his black bag was sitting on the floor. He leaned over, picked it up. Before turning back toward Patrick, he reached over and locked the apartment door.

“It locks.” David said with a grin.

Patrick looked at him standing there. No shirt. Hairy chest. Jeans open. Cock out. Bag in hand. Hair and lips looking totally and completely fucked.

Patrick took the five strides to meet him there by the door and pushed him against the wall.

Patrick’s hands on the back of his head urged David’s head down. He hungrily met David’s lips with his own.

He moaned into David’s mouth as he felt David’s hand reach into his shorts and wrap his fingers around him. Felt David’s thumb rub over the head of his sensitive cock.

Keeping one hand on the back of David’s neck, one of his hands trailed down David’s body. Thumb teasing one of his nipples before aggressively moving down David’s body and getting a hold of his cock. He stroked him. Thumb moving, in kind, over the head of David’s cock.

When Patrick’s mouth moved to David’s neck, David pleaded with him again. “Please. Patrick. I need you to fuck me.”

Patrick released him. Leaned over and picked up the black bag.

David took it from him and moved to set it on the kitchen counter. Unzipped it. Dug in. Pulled out a box of condoms and a bottle of lube.

He turned to look at Patrick. _Patrick_. Standing near the door. His very short hair mussed. His lips swollen from kissing. Shirtless. Pale skin flushed. Athletic shorts pulled down slightly, exposing his balls and his hard cock.

David tore open the cellophane wrapper. He held it up. He pulled his lips into his mouth and bit down.

Patrick stared back at him. Breathing heavily. _This wasn’t how I imagined our first time in the apartment._ He thought to himself. _But god he is beautiful._

“Patrick.” David pulled Patrick away from his thoughts.

Patrick moved again. Moved to stand in front of David. Grabbed the condom from David. Pushed him against the kitchen counter. Their cocks pressed between them. David’s hands dug into the back of Patrick’s shorts. His fingertips pressed into the flesh of Patrick’s round ass cheeks.

“Please.” David said.

Patrick knew what he wanted. Knew what his _please_ meant. He wanted to be taken. Turned. Bent over.

Dominated.

Fucked.

No gentleness. No pausing.

Patrick bit into his neck again. Sucked him. Knowing the mark he was leaving would be hanging around for more than few hours.

“Patrick.” David said again.

“Shut the fuck up and turn around.” Patrick told him. He grabbed David’s shoulder and forcefully spun him.

The noise David made on the turn was enough to tell Patrick he was on the right track. He set the condom on the counter and put both hands on the waist of David’s jeans and roughly jerked them down over his hips.

Another noise of pleasure escaped David.

David’s noises seemed to be directly linked to Patrick’s cock. David seldom made this much noise when they had sex.

Patrick pressed against David’s back. His cock snug against David’s crack. His hands wrapped around David. His palms pressed against David’s chest.

“You like that?” Patrick asked. His voice rough.

“MmmHmm.”

“I can’t hear you.” Patrick’s voice was commanding.

“Yes. Yes, Patrick.”

Patrick knew as he pressed against David, his cock was pressing against the cabinet.

“That hurt?” Patrick pulled back slightly. Slid his hand down to David’s cock.

“It’s good. I know the word.” David told him. Giving him permission to press harder if he wanted.

Patrick dropped his hands and cupped David’s balls and pulled on them. Back to his cock to stroke him. Once. Twice. Then his hands moved to David’s hips and pressed him forward against the cabinet again.

One of David’s hands pressed against the door on the kitchen cabinet in front of his face. His other hand reached back to touch Patrick’s ass.

“Get your fucking hands off me.” Patrick said gruffly in his ear. His fingers roughly twisted David’s nipples.

Another noise of pleasure escaped David.

Patrick picked up the condom and rolled it over his hard cock. He lubed his cock and ran its head up and down David’s crack.

“Patrick.” David’s hips rocked back, his ass seeking the contact he craved. In the absence of Patrick’s body weight pressing against him, he had pulled away from the kitchen counter.

Patrick saw what David’s body was asking for. He moved forward harshly. Pressed him against the counter, again.

“You want me to fuck you, David?”

“Yes.” David arched his back. His ass pressed deliciously against Patrick.

“Yes… _Coach Brewer_.” Patrick said roughly into his ear.

David smiled. “Please, Coach. Please be gentle.”

“You’re going to get a fucking, David. You don’t deserve to have it gentle.” Patrick roughly pressed against him again.

David leaned forward and pressed his head against the kitchen cabinet door. One of his hands wrapped around the handle on the kitchen cabinet near his face.

“Yes, Sir.” David murmured.

Patrick pressed him forward again. “I didn’t hear you.”

“Oh God. Yes. Sir. You’re right, Coach Brewer.” David said in a louder voice.

Patrick reached down and spread David open. David arched his back. He held his breath.  
  
The head of Patrick’s hard cock pressed against the tight round bud of David’s hole. He reached for the lube and applied more of it. Though he knew it was what David wanted, he also knew that without working him open it would be a tight start and probably painful for David.

He paused. He waited.

“Patrick.” David said.

He waited.

“Please Coach.” David said.

David’s arched back. David’s tense body. Patrick took it all in.

Then he pressed himself forward. Pressed his cock in. Without hesitation. He took it slow, but moved surely in.

David’s sharp inhale made Patrick want to pause, but he also knew that David knew the word. And he knew that David wanted it.

When Patrick was in. David exhaled.

“Babe...” Patrick said tenderly. A low voice into David’s ear.

David leaned back into the warmth of Patrick’s words. “Please.” David said quietly. “Fuck me. Hard. I want it, Coach.”

Patrick pulled out slightly and pressed back in. He fucked David the way he wanted.

Rough.

Quick.

Hard.

With each press in, David was shoved against the kitchen cabinet. He made noises each time.

As Patrick pushed into him, David’s arm moved. A sweeping movement to try to reach back to touch Patrick. He hit his black bag. It tipped. It fell. Contents of it sprawled across the floor.

Patrick kept fucking him. Fast movements of his hips. His hands grasped David’s hips and pulled him back to him.

Patrick groaned. Grunted.

David made sounds of pleasure. He bent forward. Rested his forehead against the kitchen cabinet door. His dick pressed against the edge of the counter was a mixture of pleasure and pain.

In a frantic move to brace himself, David knocked the bottle of disinfectant off the counter.

David felt Patrick’s hands move. Heard his voice, but didn’t understand his words at first. He just knew that Patrick’s hips had suddenly stopped moving.

“Fuck. David. Hold still. DAVID.” Patrick said. His voice was stern.

“What? What’s wrong?” David asked, becoming more aware that something was wrong.

“It’s fine… just… the condom broke.” Patrick said.

“Get out.” David started to move, tried to pull away.

One of Patrick’s arms immediately wrapped tightly around David’s waist. “Don’t move, David.”

“Apothecary. Patrick. _Apothecary_. Get out. Let go.” David swatted at Patrick’s hand that held him firmly.

“I know. I know, David. Wait.” Patrick commanded.

“No. Patrick. I said no. Get out. I said get out.” The panic in David’s voice made it high. Loud.

“David. I’m trying to get the condom. I don’t want it to go up in you. Don’t move. I need two hands.”

“Patrick!” David tried to free himself from Patrick’s grasp.

Patrick’s voice was calm in his ear. “David. Listen to me. If you hold still, I’ll let you go. I have to use both hands. I don’t want it to go up in you.”

David stopped squirming and held still. Patrick reached down and held the base of the condom against his dick. He used his other hand to hold on to the torn part of the condom.  
  
His cock already softening easily pulled out.

David pulled up his pants and immediately walked to the bathroom. He jerked the curtain in the bathroom doorway closed. He lowered the lid of the toilet and sat down on it.

Patrick stood in the kitchen. He took the condom off. Pulled his shorts up. 

“Make sure the condom is all there.” David said quietly from the bathroom.

“That’s what I’m doing.” Patrick laid the condom out on the counter. Looked to make sure no pieces were missing.

The music still blared on the radio.

MmmBop by Hanson grossly played over the tense moment.

“It’s here. It’s all here. David.” Patrick said. “You don’t have to worry.”

Patrick innocently thought the only worry in the moment was the fact that part of the condom may have gone up into David.

Patrick reached for his t-shirt. He grabbed the shopping bag where they had put their empty beer bottles from dinner. He moved it to the kitchen and dropped the condom in it.

He grabbed the sponge from the sink. Wrung it out. Ran it over the counter to clean where the condom had sat. Threw the sponge back in the sink of water.

“What do you need.” He asked David.

David sat on the stool in the restroom. Tears ran quietly down his face. He gasped for breath. He couldn’t breathe. He simply couldn’t breathe. He held one hand over his mouth. He didn’t want Patrick to hear him if he were to start sobbing.

David internally cursed the fact that he couldn’t shut a door to cover the sound of his weeping.

_This fucking curtain. We need a mother fucking door._

“David.” Patrick stood outside the bathroom; heard a noise that he could only assume was David trying to not cry. “What do you need.”

David couldn’t speak. You can’t speak when you can’t breathe. His heart beat rapidly in his chest.

_This is it. I’m going to die of a heart attack right here._

Patrick retrieved David’s sweater. He swatted he dirt from the floor off it. He turned it right side out. He moved to the bathroom. He knocked on the door frame.

Patrick said softly to the curtain that separated them, “David.”

He was met with silence.

Patrick cursed himself for letting the damn chorus of the song seep into his brain.

 _Mmmbop, ba duba dop_ _  
Ba du bop, ba duba dop_

“David, unless you say to stop, I’m coming in.” Patrick said.

Patrick pulled the curtain open and stepped into the bathroom. He took one look at David’s face and knew he was having an anxiety attack.

He immediately dropped David’s sweater. Patrick pulled his t-shirt off and took it to the sink. He ran cold water over it until it was soaked. He wrung it out. He moved to David. Bent over to face him.  
  
“David look at me. Look in my eyes.” Patrick said calmly.

David’s eyes darted around the small room and never settled. He gasped for breath. The walls were closing in on him.

Patrick didn’t know what to do. What to say. He only knew he wanted David to know he was there.

“I’m here David. You’re safe. I’m going to keep you safe.” Patrick took his wet t-shirt and touched it gently to David’s forehead.

David’s hand reached up and touched the back of Patrick’s hand.

“That’s my hand. My t-shirt. I’m here, David. I’m cooling you down. You’re safe.” Patrick said.

Tears rolled down David’s cheeks. He gasped for breath. His hand moved to Patrick’s forearm and he gripped it.

“That’s right. That’s my arm. I’m here, David. Look at me.” Patrick coached him.

David’s eyes moved to Patrick. Locked on them.

“There you are. David. Hi. I’m here. Breathe with me. Breathe in.” Patrick took a deep breath.

David’s eyes were wide with panic. He rapidly shook his head. Indicating he couldn’t breathe.

“Yes… you can. Breathe in.” Patrick took another deep breath.  
  
David took a shaky, shallow breath.

“Good. Now exhale. Let it out.” Patrick told him.

Patrick cursed to himself that there was no place for him to hold David. No place for David to turtle. No couch. No bed. No bathtub. David was sitting on the damn toilet.

He moved. He stood between David’s knees. He pulled David close. David rested his head on Patrick’s abdomen. He wrapped his arms around Patrick’s legs. Held him tightly around the thighs.

One of Patrick’s hands stroked the back of David’s head. His neck.

His other hand held the wet t-shirt and he brushed it over David’s upper back. His neck. Patrick concentrated on breathing rhythmically so that David might follow.

He was aware that the song changed in the other room. _What the fuck._ Patrick thought to himself as he heard Rod Stewart singing.

 _If you want my body and you think I'm sexy_ _  
Come on, sugar, tell me so_

Every song seemed remarkably inappropriate for the moment. And yet, Patrick’s brain insisted on mentally singing the words.

“I’m here, Babe. You’re safe. Please breathe. Please. Breathe with me, David.”

Patrick didn’t stop talking. Soothing. Quiet. But constant words. Hoping David would hold on to some of them.

While he breathed. While he held David, feeling him start to breathe, he whispered encouragement. “That’s it. You got it. You’re safe.”

He also cursed himself for singing the damn words that would not leave his head.

 _If you really need me, just reach out and touch me_ _  
Come on, honey, tell me so_

Patrick pulled away from David so he could look down at his face.

David’s face was distraught. Red eyes. Brow furrowed. He looked at Patrick. They locked eyes.

“You’re safe, David.” Patrick said. He’d lost track of how many times he’d told him that. He hoped it was the right thing to say.

“I know.” David said quietly. He buried his hands in his face. “I’m sorry.” He murmured. He was embarrassed.

Patrick bent his knees and knelt down on the floor between David’s legs. David’s hands moved to his own thighs.

“I didn’t come David. I didn’t come in you.” Patrick said. He cupped David’s face in both his hands. His thumb rubbed David’s chin. “I. Didn’t. Come. In. You.”

He held a lot of words inside.

He wanted to say: _I’m not going to give you a disease._

He wanted to say: _If we didn’t use condoms none of this would be an issue._

He wanted to ask: _When? When will you trust me? Why don’t you trust me?_

“I’m so sorry, David. I should have been more careful. I’m sorry.” Patrick said.

“I want to go home.” David said quietly.

“OK.” Patrick stood. He gave David space to stand.

David bent over and picked his sweater off the floor. Without brushing off the dust it picked up while on the floor, he put it on. He looked at Patrick and turned and left the bathroom.

David eyed the floor. All of the contents of his black bag sprawled over it.

“Please stay in the bathroom for a minute.” David said.

Patrick did as he was told.

David picked everything up carefully. One-by-one. Placed each item back where it belonged in the bag.

“David I can help you.” Patrick said from the bathroom.

“Just… Patrick stay there please. I need a minute.” David insisted. His bag was private. Patrick had never seen its entire contents.

++++++

Patrick turned the car toward his place.

“No. Patrick. I said I want to go home.” David said.

“I thought you meant home with me.” Patrick took his foot off the accelerator and turned to look at David. He had planned to take David home, help him shower, and then hold him. Comfort him.

“Patrick.” David shot him a look. Scowl on his face. It was all Patrick needed to know not to argue.

Patrick turned the car around and headed for the motel.  
  
They drove in silence.

Patrick parked the car in front of David’s room. He shut the car off. He unlatched his seat belt.

“No. You stay here.” David said. He put a hand on Patrick’s. “I can let my own self out.”

“David.” Patrick said quietly.

“Can you take care of the store tomorrow morning?” David asked.

“David. This is _not_ a big deal.” Patrick protested.

David shot another look at him. Serious. Angry at Patrick’s response. “Maybe not to you.” He said.  
  
David unlatched his seat belt. Opened his car door.

“OK. David. OK. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry the condom broke. It’s my fault.”

“It’s nobody’s fault Patrick.” David said.

“So why are you mad at me?” Patrick asked.

David put one leg out of the car.  
  
Patrick reached out and wrapped his fingers around David’s arm. “David stop. Please talk to me.”

“I’m not mad at you.” David said quietly, his eyes looking at the floorboard of the car.

“You look it. You sound it.” Patrick said.

“I’m embarrassed, Patrick.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed with me.” Patrick said empathetically.

“And… I don’t like that you think I’m acting irrationally.” David added.

“I didn’t say that.” Patrick shook his head.

“But you’re thinking it.” David said.

“David… you don’t…”  
  
David cut him off. He held up a finger. “Shhhhut... just... _Sssshhhhut up_.”

Shock registered on Patrick’s face. His eyes large. He stopped talking.

David pushed the door open further and stepped out of the car.

“Good night, David.” Patrick said quietly. Now angry. He started the car.

“Good night, Patrick.” David said. He moved to shut the door but it got caught on his sweater and bounced back and hit him. He moved out of the way and slammed it shut.

The wheels of Patrick’s car spun in the gravel of the parking lot as he drove away.

++++++

He tried to be quiet as he ascended the stairs. The house was dark. He went into his room to grab a towel and went to the bathroom to take a shower. As he walked by Ray’s room, the door opened and Ray popped his head out.

“Hi, Patrick! I thought I heard someone.”

“Hey, Ray.” Patrick walked past him.

“How’s the painting going?”

“Done.” Patrick said. He went into the bathroom.

“I’m going to go talk to David.” Ray said, he headed down the hallway.

Patrick leaned out of the bathroom into the hall. “David’s not here, Ray.” Then he went into the bathroom and shut the door.

++++++

Patrick sat on his bed. His room dark. ESPN on the muted television. Guitar in his lap. He plucked out notes. Hummed quietly.

His phone vibrated. He reached for his phone, happy that David was the first to text.

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘Son. Plans tomorrow?’

Patrick looking at his phone, pushed down his disappointment. Then, felt instantly ashamed that he was disappointed about receiving a text from his dad.

_You (10:49):_

‘Hey dad.’

‘Store open until noon.’

‘Expect furniture delivery around 1:30’

‘Why?’

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘We thought we’d bring you some things’

_You (10:49):_

‘Really?’

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘Yes.’

‘Your mom thought your desk, dresser, a shelving unit’

_You (10:49):_

‘Dad I hate to make you take the long trip. I can rent a truck and come get stuff.’

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘Your mom wants to see the place.’

‘So do I. We want to see you, Son.’

Patrick’s heart pounded. He wiped a tear off his cheek. He was finally going to get to tell them.

_You (10:49):_

‘I want to see you too! That would be great, Dad.’

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘Your mom’s bought some things for you. I think she’s been talking to David.’

‘She was shopping all day.’

‘Chomping at the bit to bring it to you.’

Patrick laughed. Wiped another tear.

_You (10:49):_

‘That’s great, Dad. Really great.’

‘What time do you think you’ll be here.’

‘Want me to reserve a room at the motel?’

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘We won’t be able to stay. Probably get there around 1 or so. Won’t be able to stay but a couple of hours.’

_That’s enough._ Patrick thought. _A couple hours will be enough._

_Mom. Dad. I’m gay. I’m in love with David. He’s my boyfriend._

_You (10:49):_

‘I’ll take any time with you, Dad. Any time.’

‘Really looking forward to it.’

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘Your mom wants to know if you want the rug that we used to have in the guest room.’

‘Do you know which one I’m taking about?’

_You (10:49):_

‘I know which one.’

‘You don’t want it anymore?’

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘Your mom redid the room. She has a different rug there now.’

_You (10:49):_

‘I’ll take it! Thanks.’

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘OK, Son.’

_You (10:49):_

‘Dad.’

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘Yes?’

_You (10:49):_

‘Really looking forward to seeing you two. Catching up.’

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘Us too, Son.’

‘Text us where you are around 1. We’ll meet you wherever you want.’

_You (10:49):_

‘OK.’

‘Love you, Dad.’

_Dad (10:49 pm):_

‘We love you, too.’

‘See you tomorrow.’

_You (10:49):_

‘Good night.’

++++++

David got out of the shower. Moisturized. Pulled on his pajamas. Sat down on the side of the tub. Put his head in his hands. Rested his elbows on his knees.

He overreacted. He knew he did.

Yet.

_Patrick just won’t ever get it. He won’t._

David reached for his phone.

You (10:49):

‘I need to see you. Can I have an appointment tomorrow?’

Cody (10:49):

‘Hey David. You can try. We’re pretty booked on Saturdays.’

‘Frees up a little after noon. Open until 3.’

You (10:49):

‘I can come in and wait.’

Cody (10:49):

‘Sure. If that’s what you want.’

‘Are you OK?’

You (10:49):

‘Undecided.’

Cody (10:49):

‘You need to talk?’

You (10:49):

‘Tomorrow.’

‘Thanks.’

Cody (10:49):

‘No problem’

You (10:49):

‘I’ll come in around noon. Wait for an opening.’

Cody (10:49):

‘Sounds good.’

‘Do you need anything tonight?’

You (10:49):

‘Sleep.’

Cody (10:49):

‘See you tomorrow.’

++++++

Patrick lay in bed. He kept picking up his phone and checking it. No text from David.

His stomach did flip-flops. He was going to see his parents. Sometime over the next 24 hours he was going to tell his parents. He was going to be free of this weight. This weight that rested on his shoulders. On his heart. He was finally going to be out.

He rolled over on his back and picked up his phone. He flipped through his photos. Looked at all the pictures of he and David.

++++++

David lay in bed. He’d avoided talking to his sister. He waited in the bathroom until she was asleep. He picked up his phone to check it. He couldn’t believe Patrick hadn’t texted him, yet.

His stomach had butterflies. He would go to the Center tomorrow. He wasn’t sure why, really. He knew there was no need to be tested.

But he had Trixie in his ear. _Never trust anyone but yourself, Gurl._

A broken condom meant going for a test. A broken condom meant a meltdown. A broken condom meant everything stops.

He rolled over on his back. He flipped through the pictures he had on his phone. He and Patrick. So many pictures.

He upped the volume on the music playing on his headphones.

 _Give me a life time of promises and a world of dreams_ _  
Speak the language of love like you know what it means_

++++++

Patrick sat up in bed. He knew it was late. He knew he shouldn’t call so late. He had to. Needed to.

“Hi.” He said when his call was answered.

“Yeah. I’m sorry it’s so late. No. Nothing bad. I just … I _really_ need to talk. Something happened and I just… I need to talk.”

He paused.

“Thanks. Thanks, Terri. Yeah…”

++

End part 2 of 4

++


	9. Preparations: Part 3 of 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick prepares to talk to his parents, but soon learns he won't have the opportunity to spend time with them. David makes a trip to Elmdale and spends time with Cody. Ray meets Patrick's dad. David encounters a person from his and Patrick's past. Patrick struggles with disappointment. David tries to make it all better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between 5.03 and 5.04  
> This is part 3 of 4 parts. This is not as heavy as the last chapter, but it is still one that is heavy. There's not much lightness here. Rest assured. Everyone will land softly in Part 4. 
> 
> +++  
> A year ago this week, I posted my first chapters of LOL (What would later be renamed as LOL: Part 1). Time flies - and apparently so do the words. I want to thank those of you who read a little bit of my work and those of you who read it all. (And even those of you who freakishly read it several times! *Winking face emoji*). This is a lovely fandom in which to play. I'm honored that you choose to spend your time with my words.
> 
> +++
> 
> Had I known this chapter would fall on this day in this week, I might have not had it quite so solemn. But it was written and it is time to post it. 
> 
> If the current situation around the COVID-19 Pandemic is leaving you emotional, scared, or dealing with unresolved anxiety I would encourage you to not dive into this chapter. Save it for a time when you are feeling more cheerful. Or wait to read it until the 4th part is posted next week (when everyone lands softly). Or skip these chapters all together. (Seriously. Fanfic - or at least my work - is not as important as your mental health.)
> 
> I would encourage us all to pay attention to our mental health right now. Self care is important. As many of us are facing disappointment in rescheduled Noah concerts and events where we might have seen the Schitt's Creek cast - and of course many of us are seeing cancelled events and school closings in our community in order to keep others safe. Please take care of yourselves, your loved ones, your neighbors, your community. 
> 
> I recommend a visit to Brene Brown or Glennon Doyle's Facebook page to see/hear their messages of self care. They soothe me. 
> 
> Much love to you all.  
> \- PD
> 
> ++

++++++

Patrick was awake at 5 am. He couldn’t sleep. He pulled on his sweats and running shoes. He hit the streets of Schitt’s creek. Running the pattern he often ran. Around the outskirts of town. Up and down the streets.

After running home for a shower, he loaded the boxes he’d packed the night before into the back seat of his car. Then, he headed for the store.

The morning felt like it dragged. His stomach continued with the flip-flops. He rehearsed the words over and over in his mind.

_Dad. Mom. I love you and I need to be honest with you. I waited until I was with you in person to tell you. I’m in love with David. He’s my boyfriend._

Patrick wasn’t sure what he’d do if they asked to meet David. What would he tell them? _Sorry. We had a fight. He won’t answer his phone today. I just know it._

_Yeah. That will go over well._

++++++

David slept late. Slept late because he didn’t fall to sleep until almost dawn. Patrick’s text woke him.

_Mr. Brewer (10:00 am):_

‘Waited to text you so I wouldn’t wake you.’

‘My parents texted last night. They will be here around 1.’

‘Bringing some things for the apartment.’

‘Hoping you can come meet them.’

‘I love you.’

David turned his phone off.

For one thing, he knew he was not in a proper head space to _meet the parents_.

For another, he knew if he talked to Patrick, he would tell him his plans. Tell him where he was going and what he planned to do. And he knew it would upset Patrick.

_There is no way any of that would turn out well. Best not to even engage in conversation right now._

++++++

When the clock hit noon, Patrick locked the door, turned the sign and worked to close out the register. He quickly put everything in the safe. He left the closing chores for Monday and grabbed his keys and phone and headed to the café.

He called his dad as he crossed the street.

“Patrick,” his dad answered the phone.

“Dad. Gonna grab some lunch at the café. Are you and Mom close? I can get you something to eat if you want.”

“We’re about a half hour away from Schitt’s Creek, according to the road signs. But…”

“That’s great!” Patrick cut him off. “So excited Dad. OK. I’ll get lunch for us. I’ll text you the address.”

“Patrick.” His dad’s voice was solemn.

“Yeah?” Patrick heard it. Heard it in his voice. He slowed his walk.

“Your Mom couldn’t come with.” His dad said.

“What?!” Patrick stopped outside the café. He sat down on one of the chairs Twyla had moved outside.

“It’s a long story. Your cousin Jenny went into labor. Aunt Betty was supposed to be her labor coach, but Betty has the flu. She called your mom to help.” His dad rambled. Patrick just sat and only took in part of the information.

“Well…that’s…uh…. I’m glad Mom can be there for her.” Patrick said. He worked hard to hide the disappointment in his voice.

He thought. _OK. I’m going to tell Dad today. He can tell Mom._

His dad continued. “I ended up asking Tom to come with me.”

“Mr. Jasinski is with you?” Patrick asked. He did nothing to hide the incredulity in his voice.

His dad brought his friend, their neighbor. There was no way Patrick was coming out to Mr. Jasinski before he came out to his _own mother_.

“Yup. He helped me load the truck.” His dad continued talking.

Patrick rebounded. “OK. OK Dad. I’ll grab sandwiches for both of you.”

“Great! See you soon!” Clint said cheerfully.

++++++

David sat in the waiting room at the center. One leg crossed over the other. Foot twitching. Arms crossed. His hand on his chin. He held his thumb to his mouth and bit down on his thumb nail. Eyes, not focused on anything, looking in the general direction of a poster on the wall.

“David?” Kai called from their desk.

David continued to shake his foot. Chew on his thumb nail.

“David.” Kai said again.

David looked over at them. “Hmmm?”

“David. How about I make you a cup of herbal tea?” Kai asked.

“Can I have a coffee?” David asked. He stood. He tugged on the hem of his sweater.

“Honey. No. I’m not giving you anything with caffeine in it.” Kai laughed.

“M’Kay. Tea’s fine. Thanks.” David sat back down on the chair and assumed the waiting position. Leg crossed. Foot nervously moving. Teeth worrying the nail on his thumb.

++++++

Patrick had taken the last of his boxes upstairs and knew his dad was due at any moment so he headed outside. He saw his dad’s truck round the corner when he stepped out of the apartment building.

He threw his hand in the air, smiled broadly and gave a big wave. He _really was_ excited to see his dad, regardless of the change in plans.

His dad, Clint, walked toward him. Faded jeans. Dark denim button up shirt. A big grin on his face. Arms wide open.

Patrick stepped into his dad’s arms.

His dad embraced Patrick. Hugged him tightly. Patrick choked back a ball of emotion that formed in his throat. It felt so good. He’d missed his dad. Felt so good to have his arms around his dad. Feel his dad’s arms around him.

He pulled back. His dad’s hands on his upper arms. Clint looked at his son. Both men had tears in their eyes. “Son.” He said.

“Hi Dad.” Patrick smiled up at his dad.

“First things first,” Clint said. He leaned down and kissed his son on the cheek. “That’s from your mother.”

Patrick nodded his head. “Sorry she couldn’t come, Dad. I can’t tell you how sorry.”

“Not as sorry as she was. At least she gets to see a baby being born today, huh?” Clint smacked Patrick on the back and turned to his friend. “And…we made really good time not stopping for all the restroom breaks she needs. Right Tom? Let’s get some of this stuff unloaded.”

Patrick dug in his pocket for his phone. He sent a text.

_You (12:55):_

‘David. Where are you?’

++++++

“David. Come on back.” Cody said from the doorway.

David, lost in his thoughts, didn’t hear him.

Kai and Cody shared a look. Kai went over to David. Put their hand on David’s shoulder.

“Honey.” Kai waited until they had David’s attention. “Honey, it’s your turn.” Kai told him.

“Thank you.” David stood and picked up his black bag and followed Cody.

++++++

Patrick and his dad carried the desk up the stairs.

“PIVOT!” His dad yelled. And then laughed.

“Dad,” Patrick huffed out a laugh. “That was funny when we carried the shelves up the stairs. It’s not that funny anymore.”

“But you’re laughing!” Clint said. “It’s good to see you laugh. Now… can you explain to me why you didn’t ask for a first-floor apartment?”

“But…it’s the penthouse, Dad!” Patrick joked.

++++++

“David. A broken condom is only something to worry about if you’re ….”

“Cody. I know. I know. The logical part of my brain knows exactly what you’re going to tell me. But that’s not the part of the brain that is insisting that I be tested. Please. Just…” David shrugged off the cardigan he wore over the white t-shirt, giving Cody access to his arm.

“OK. All right. You know we test anyone any time they come in.” Cody, sitting on a stool, rolled away from David and reached for the testing station and pulled it near. He grabbed the rubber band and tied it around David’s arm just above his elbow.

++++++

With each trip to the truck, Tom went with them and carried something up. Patrick’s mom had sent boxes and bags of items. Things for the bathroom. The kitchen. David had clearly spent some time talking with her.

Patrick had thought he might have 10 minutes alone with his dad to tell him, but he was learning quickly that he was not going to get that time.

When they left the apartment building for the last load, the furniture delivery truck pulled up. Patrick went over to meet with them. While he spoke with them, Clint and Tom carried the rug upstairs.

Patrick went over the delivery list with the driver, told him his apartment number.

He pulled out his phone and texted David.

You (1:46 pm):

‘David. Dad is here. Mom couldn’t come.’

‘I don’t know how much longer he’ll be here.’

Patrick stuffed his phone into his pocket and headed up the stairs.

Before long, the brand new small love seat and two arm chairs were sitting in his apartment. The three men sat down. The delivery guys brought up the small kitchenette table and chairs. They went downstairs to get the new mattress and bed frame.

“This is a nice space, Patrick.” Tom said.

“Thanks. Probably could use bigger closet space.” Patrick pointed at his _step-in_ closet.

“Eh. Why would you need that? That’s just the right size, huh?” Clint reached over and smacked Patrick’s shoulder. “Besides, apparently your mom and David talked and they thought the shelving unit would be good for some of your things.”

“Hey. Where’s David?” Tom asked. “Thought I might see him again.”

“I’d hoped to meet him.” Clint said.

“Honestly, I’m not sure where he is right now.” Patrick said. “Maybe… something with his family. Not sure.”

“Well… you guys work together all week. Maybe it’s good to have some time apart on the weekends.” Tom said with understanding in his voice.

++++++

Cody sat quietly with his hands in his lap and listened to David tell him the story. The condom breaking. The anxiety attack.

“…and so… I want to go on PrEP,” David said with resolve.

“Has… anything changed in your… situation?” Cody asked.

“Situation?” David leaned his head to the side. Furrowed brow.

“Still monogamous with Patrick?” Cody said. “Has that changed? You seeing anyone else?”

“No. No. Only Patrick.” David said.

“You plan on that changing?” Cody asked.

David shook his head. “No.”

“Drug use? You using needles? Or…meth? And then having sex?” Cody asked, knowing full well the answer.

David shook his head. “Of course not. Maybe smoking a little pot once in a while. Nothing else.”

“So… you suspect Patrick of fucking around behind your back?” Cody asked.

“Cody! No. Come on. Stop.” David’s voice was stern.

“David, you’re not the target audience for PrEP.” Cody said.

“But I used to take it. Before we moved here.” David argued.

“I know you did. You told me and it’s in your record.” Cody taped the file he held.

“Only reason I stopped was because I couldn’t afford it when we lost our insurance.” David said. “I have insurance. Patrick made me get it when we opened the store.”

“I’m aware. You told me.” Cody told him.

“I don’t know why I didn’t ask to go on it when the insurance kicked in.” David said.

“Probably because it didn’t fit your needs anymore.” Cody told him directly.

“So… I can afford it now. I want to go on it.” David said. Ignoring Cody’s attempt to thwart his efforts.

“I can’t help you there, David.”

“If I want it, you need to get it for me. Isn’t that what we do here?” David moved his hand in a circle to indicate the Center.

“No. I mean… Yes… we do have that discussion here. But we don’t prescribe it. You have to have a doctor prescribe it.” Cody told him. “I could refer you to someone, I suppose.”

David nodded. “OK.”

“David. Can we talk about the broken condom?” Cody asked.

“What about it?” David shook his head. Looked up at the ceiling.

“Let’s start with you telling me why you had an anxiety attack when it happened.” Cody said.

David sighed. “Are we done here?”

“David, I think it would help you to talk about it.” Cody encouraged him.

“I know.” David nodded. “Can we go get a drink and talk?”

++++++

Tom was in the restroom. Patrick had a moment alone with his dad.

“Son, are you OK?” Clint asked. He put his hand on Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick, elbows on his knees, rubbed his hands together. “Dad, there’s something I wanted to ...”

There was a knock at the door, then the door swung open.

“Knock! Knock!” Ray stood in the doorway of the apartment. “Hi, Patrick! I have your bathroom door!” He carried with him a door. An _actual_ door.

Patrick sighed. Shook his head. Smiled. “Hi, Ray.”

_Let it go, Brewer. You’re not telling him today._

Patrick’s dad was up in a flash and helped Ray bring the door into the apartment.

“Hello!” Ray said cheerily. “Ray Butani!” He held out his hand.

“Clint Brewer. It is so nice to meet you Ray! Patrick has told us so much about you.” Clint shook his hand and patted Ray on the upper arm.

Tom opened the curtain and came out of the bathroom. He introduced himself to Ray.

“I just brought the bathroom door here to Patrick.” Ray said, stating the obvious. “David was insistent that one be installed before Patrick moved in. I don’t know how to put it on, but I brought it!”

“I’ve got tools down in the truck. Why don’t I help do that?” Clint offered.

Patrick interjected, “Dad. You don’t have to…”

“Nonsense. It is a two-man job. Tom and I can take care of it before we leave.” Clint didn’t hesitate. He left the apartment to go down to the truck to retrieve his tools.

“Ohhhh. Patrick.” Ray gushed. “David _did_ pick out a great color for the walls. You’re right!”

“David picked your paint color?” Tom asked.

Ray rolled his eyes to look at the ceiling and shrugged his shoulders. His hands patted the outside of his thighs. “Who else would pick it? David has _exquisite_ taste.”

“Decorating this place has been a bit of a group effort.” Patrick said. Knowing full well he was backing himself into the closet, working to not have Tom realize he was gay before he was able to tell his parents.

Clint returned to the apartment with his tools. He worked with Tom to hang it.

Patrick snapped a picture of them.

You (3:11 pm):

*Patrick sent the photo of his dad and Tom hanging the bathroom door.’

‘A door for my prince.’

++++++

David and Cody sat at a table in the back corner of the restaurant. It was the middle of the afternoon so there weren’t many people there.

They ordered food. David had been too nervous earlier in the day to eat. He realized he was starving. They drank wine. They shared a bottle.

David unloaded. Told him everything about Trixie.

He was surprised that he found that telling the story for the second time was easier.

Cody poured the remainder of the wine in their glasses. He shook his head. “She sounds like she was very special, David.”

“She was.” He nodded his head, solemnly.

“But she was _full of shit_.” Cody said. Saying what needed to be said.

“Cody. She’s passed. Be respectful.” David scolded him.

“I get it. She was there when you needed her. But fuck, David. She was fucked up and she dumped her baggage on your young heart.” Cody told him honestly.

David shook his head. “That’s not… Cody…”

“David. I’m so sorry that she was exposed at a time when getting the virus was… a death sentence. When she was young, the government was barely taking action. When she was exposed... the drugs to lower viral loads weren’t what they are today. It was a different time.”

“But the virus is still out there.” David countered.

“Yes. Yes, it is.” Cody agreed. “And we certainly see new diagnoses that we know could have been prevented. But David… you don’t live the lifestyle of the person who we worry about. Not anymore.”

“But the only person I can trust to keep myself virus-free is myself.” David said. One of Trixie’s mantras that never left his brain.

“David… if someone was going to hurt you… abuse you… would Patrick stop them?” Cody asked.

David thought about Sebastien. “Of course. Without hesitation.”

“And if someone tried to take advantage of you… would Patrick stop them?” Cody asked.

David thought about the man in the aubergine hoodie. “Yes. He has.”

“If you were hurt… would he come to you? Take care of you?” Cody asked.

David thought about the poison ivy. Patrick took care of him when nobody else did. When he got the flu, Patrick stayed and took care of him rather than going to visit his parents. When David had the car accident… “Without a doubt. He’s always there for me. The first one at my side.”

“The Patrick I know?” Cody said, “Would take a bullet for you, David.”

David nodded. He wiped at a tear before it could escape from his eye. He rested his hand on the table.

Cody reached over and put his hand on David’s. “David. Love. Patrick is not going to hurt you. You can trust him. I’ve seen men _and_ women fawn all over him. He only has eyes for you.”

David rolled his hand under Cody’s. Turned it up so he could hold Cody’s hand. He nodded. Another tear fell. “Deep down? Deep down I know that. But…”

“David… maybe…maybe instead of going on PrEP… you need to see a therapist.” Cody said. He reached across the table and wiped a tear from David’s cheek.

++++++

For the second time that day, Clint Brewer held his son in his arms. He squeezed him tightly. “Patrick. Son. It was so good to see you.”

“Yeah, Dad. So good. Thank you for coming today. I really appreciate everything. Give Mom my love.” Patrick slapped his hand on his dad’s back.

“She’ll scold me if I don’t tell you right now that we want you to come home soon. Maybe for your birthday.” Clint patted his son’s shoulder. “We’ll have a cookout. Have everyone over.”

“Sounds good, Dad.” Patrick smiled.

He stood at the curb and waved at them as his dad’s truck drove away.

He pulled the phone from his pocket.

_You (4:01 pm):_

‘Dad just left. I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet him.’

‘Please David. Please come over and see the new furniture.’

++++++

He climbed the stairs to his apartment. He went inside. Shut the door. Leaned against the wall and looked at all the new furniture.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. He quickly retrieved it. _Finally. Finally, David is ready to talk._

_Toby (4:05):_

‘Hey Patrick. Feel like going out for a drink?’

Patrick rolled his eyes.

_You (4:05):_

‘Toby. I told you, David and I are together. I am not interested.’

Patrick sat his phone down on the table. He reached in the refrigerator for a beer. He heard his phone vibrate. _Toby. Jesus. No means no._

_Toby (4:05):_

‘You’re still together?’

_You (4:06):_

‘Yup.’

_Toby (4:06):_

‘You sure about that?’

_You (4:06):_

‘Toby. What the hell?’

_Toby (4:06):_

*Toby sent Patrick a picture of David sitting in a booth at a restaurant with Cody. One of Cody’s hands holding David’s hand. The other hand cupping David’s cheek.*

++++++

Cody ordered coffee for them both. David said he was fine, but Cody knew that neither of them could drive yet. They split a dessert and sipped on the coffee as the wine buzz faded.

“What are you going to do, David?” Cody asked.

“About what?” David asked. He waved at the wait staff and pointed at his coffee cup.

“About Patrick. I imagine he’s missing you today if last night was as rough as you say it was.” Cody said.

David shook his head. “I’m not sure.”

“Have you heard from him today?”

“I don’t know. My phone’s off.” David said.

“David. God. Turn your _fucking_ phone on. That poor little man is probably worried sick about you.” Cody scolded him.

David pulled part of his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down. He turned his phone on. It began a series of vibrations as the texts came in.

David’s face registered all his regret. As each buzz of his phone sounded, his mouth pulled back and his eyebrows furrowed.

He had a text from Stevie. One from Amy. But he had multiple texts from Patrick. He opened up the string.

_Mr. Brewer (10:00 am):_

‘Waited to text you so I wouldn’t wake you.’

‘My parents texted last night. They will be here around 1.’

‘Bringing some things for the apartment.’

‘Hoping you can come meet them.’

‘I love you.’

_Mr. Brewer (12:55):_

‘David. Where are you?’

_Mr. Brewer (1:46 pm):_

‘David. Dad is here. Mom couldn’t come.’

‘I don’t know how much longer he’ll be here.’

_Mr. Brewer (3:11 pm):_

*Patrick sent the photo of his dad and Tom hanging the bathroom door.*

‘A door for my prince.’

_Mr. Brewer (4:01 pm):_

‘Dad just left. I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet him.’

‘Please David. Please come over and see the new furniture.’

_Mr. Brewer (4:07):_

‘David. Toby just sent me this.’

*Patrick sent David a picture of David and Cody that was taken only moments before. Cody’s hand holding David’s hand. The other hand on David’s face.*

David turned his head and looked across the restaurant and saw him. Toby. The _mother-fucking_ umpire.

“David?” Cody saw the expression change on David’s face. Saw him move.

David handed his phone to Cody and showed him the picture. He turned and scanned the nearly empty restaurant. There. He saw him sitting alone at the bar.

David left the booth and walked directly over to him.

“David.” Toby looked straight ahead. Took a drink from his bottle of beer.

“Why are you texting him?” David asked.

“Just wanting to see if he’ll bite.” Toby said still not looking at David. 

“He’s not going to do that, Toby. Monogamy means something to him.” David tried to keep his voice calm and quiet.

Toby turned then. Turned to look at David. “Too bad it doesn’t mean something _to you_.” Toby’s eyes raked up and down David’s body. “Maybe now that I’ve showed him…”

“You don’t know what you saw.” David turned and started to walk away.

“Oh… I think I do.” Toby said. “He’s too good for you. You know that, don’t you?”

David turned back around and moved close to Toby. He leaned close to him and said quietly, “Of course I know that. Patrick’s too good _for all of us_. But he’s _mine_. He’s _amazing_ … and he’s _mine_.”

David turned and walked away.

“Then act like it.” Toby called to his back.

David kept walking away from him. He held up his hand and flipped the bird at Toby.

He slid into the booth.

“There’s a story there.” Cody said.

“He’s had his eye on Patrick since last summer.”

“Patrick show an interest?” Cody couldn’t imagine Patrick every straying. He had watched the two of them. They both seemed remarkably committed to one another.

“No.” David shook his head. Brow furrowed.

“But?” Cody asked.

“I’m the only one he’s been with, Cody. One of these days, a guy is going to come along who will be worth his attention. And,…”

“Eh. I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Cody brushed off the idea of Patrick having eyes for someone else.

But, Cody saw it.

Saw what David was worried about.

Cody finally understood why he was holding back with the idea of going without a condom. Understood why he was self-protecting. He’d clearly been cheated on. He obviously didn’t yet completely trust Patrick. Nobody would be able to convince David until he was able to convince himself.

++++++

It was late. After 9:00. Patrick sat looking out the window. It was dark out. The street lights had been on for a while.

He had music playing on the radio. The local station. Random songs that usually brought him joy. Madonna was singing about being a material girl.

He sipped on a whiskey. He probably had more than he should have in his glass. He started with two fingers, but had downed that some time ago. He currently had two more fingers in the glass.

He saw the Rose Family vehicle pull up to the curb outside of the apartment building. He watched David get out. He tilted his head back and swallowed. Emptied his glass. He stood. Took the glass to the kitchen. Rinsed it out in the sink.

Patrick reached the door just as David tapped his knuckle on the other side of it.

Patrick opened the door. Stood. Looked at David. Looked him in the eyes for the briefest of moments before David’s eyes darted away.

“Hi.” David said quietly.

“Hi.” Patrick said. Same tone.

“May I come in?” David asked.

Patrick stepped back; opened the door a little wider. David took two steps to stand inside the apartment.

“Patrick. It’s great. Oh… it looks… It looks _really_ nice.” David said earnestly.

Patrick shut the door. “Whatcha want, David?”

“I came to apologize for missing today.” David said.

“OK.” Patrick’s hands settled on his waist.

“And for not responding to your texts.” David said.

“Mmmm.” Patrick made a sound.

“And for … letting last night get… out of hand.” David said.

Patrick nodded. Hands dug into his pockets.

“And… for… I don’t know, Patrick… I want to explain the picture he sent you.”

“No explanation needed.” Patrick said. He moved to the door and opened it. “Now if that’s all you wanted…”

“Patrick.” David shook his head. His voice a gentle plea. He was nervous. He worried that if he left the apartment, he might never be invited back.

“David. I don’t think there’s much I want to discuss tonight.” Patrick looked down at the toes of the boots he wore.

“I do, Patrick. I do think there is _much_ to discuss. I want to discuss it.” David tried to smile. He touched Patrick’s shoulder.

“Like I wanted to last night?” Patrick challenged him. “You just get to call _all_ the shots?”

David’s face turned very serious.

 _Change the conversation, David._ He told himself. _Just change the conversation... like a Brewer._ He turned and scanned the apartment. Eyes settling on different pieces of furniture. He put his black bag on the kitchen table.

“David. I don’t think I’m in the mood to talk tonight.” Patrick said.

“I’ll go in a minute. We have to move a few things. I can’t let you spend your first night with the energy and flow this _disturbingly_ off.” David started moving the chairs in the living room.

“I’m not spending the night here.” Patrick told him. “Wait. What’s wrong with it?”

“These chairs, they need to turn. Pull back the couch. Pull it all the way back, Patrick.” David waved his hand in the general direction of the couch.

“Why. David. There’s nothing wrong with where it is.” Patrick swung the door out of his hand. Swung it shut. Then moved to the couch and pulled it back. Doing just as David told him.

“Nothing. You’re right. Nothing is wrong where it is. But we need to move that rug over here. Make it the center of the space.”

“I like it by the bed over there.” Patrick said. Not really meaning it, but wanting to argue with what David wanted.

“No. It’s wrong, Patrick. Just trust me. Please.” David said.

Patrick sighed. He rolled the area rug and picked it up. Carried it to David who pointed to the floor in front of the fireplace. Patrick put it on the floor and unrolled it. David stood to the side and tugged on it. Patrick moved it where David indicated.

“Looks good. Marcy’s got good taste.” David said. “OK. Push the couch forward so… yes there. Now I’m going to put this arm chair here. See? Yes… put that one there. Good. See? Isn’t that better?”

“OK, David. Thanks.” Patrick moved to the door. Put his hand on the doorknob.

“Can we fix this?” David asked, his hands sweeping in a large circular motion indicating the bedroom area.

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” Patrick said. He saw it too. He didn’t like it the way it was, it was just where the movers put the bed when he was downstairs getting boxes out of his dad’s truck.

“Except the flow is off, Patrick. You can’t have the bed against that wall. Let’s move the desk there and put the bed where the desk is. Can we do that? Then… Then I’ll go.” David said.

Patrick shook his head and quietly set about moving the furniture. David wasn’t wrong.

David stood back. Sat on the arm of the couch. Patrick pushed the bed into the middle of the room. He moved to stand behind the desk and pushed it.

[The song on the radio changed.](https://youtu.be/8ppz-cwLeqo) The woman’s voice sang. 

_Strumming my pain with his fingers_ _  
Singing my life with his words  
  
_

Patrick’s eyes flew to David’s.

_Killing me softly with his song_ _  
Killing me softly with his song  
  
_

David grinned. They stood and looked at each other.

_Telling my whole life with his words_ _  
Killing me softly… with his song_

Then when the beat started. The groove started, David rolled his right shoulder. Rolled his hips to the beat of the music. He moved his mouth; he sang quietly.

_I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style  
And so I came to see him, and listen for a while  
And there he was, this young one, a stranger to my eyes_

Patrick began pushing the desk again. “David. I’m not doing this. This is not the time.”

David kept dancing. Singing quietly.

_Strumming my pain with his fingers  
Singing my life with his words  
  
_

David sang the next words loudly – sang the _wrong words_. Or, as David would say, the _right words._

_Grilling meat softly with his tongs  
Grilling meat softly with his tongs  
Cooking my whole meal with his love  
Grilling meat softly with his tongs_

David danced around the furniture that was now in a nonsensical maze around the small space. He sang the song and rolled his hips. He wiggled his eyebrows. Moved closer and closer to Patrick.

“David. Don’t make me laugh right now. I’m angry and I don’t want to play.” Patrick said.

_I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd  
I felt he'd found my letters and read each one out loud  
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on_

Patrick pushed the desk against the wall and turned. David stood in front of him. Put his hand on Patrick’s shoulder. Rolled his hips. Close, but not touching Patrick’s hip. Patrick stood. Hands at his side.

David sang.

_Strumming my pain with his fingers  
  
_

Patrick put one hand on David’s hip. Pulled his bottom lip into his mouth. Squinted his eyes. Shook his head.

_Singing my life with his words_

Patrick’s lips moved slightly into the slightest of grins knowing David was going to sing them again. The words that were on his apron. David had sung them to him _many times._

And David did not let him down. He sang loudly while he danced.

_Grilling meat softly with his tongs  
Grilling meat softly with his tongs  
Cooking my whole meal with his love  
Grilling meat softly with his tongs_

The song played on. The beat. The music. Patrick let himself be pulled into David’s arms. Let David move against him. Knowing David was trying to make it right. In his own way he was apologizing.

Patrick kissed him on the neck. Wrapped his arms around him. Swayed with him for the remaining moments of the song. Felt a bit of comfort from David’s hands as they smoothed down his back.

The song ended. They held each other in silence as a commercial for Bob’s Garage played.

“Patrick.” David whispered.

Patrick remained silent. He wasn’t ready to talk. Patrick kissed him again on his neck. Hands rubbing under David’s sweater; rubbing his lower back.

A new song started. An Elton John song that had David pulling back. A sound of disgust coming out of his throat.

Patrick threw his head back and laughed loudly.

Yes, indeed. _The Bitch is Back._

David moved to the mantle and turned off the radio. Patrick went back to moving the bed to its new position.

“That’s so much better. Don’t you think, Patrick?” David asked.

“Yup.”

“I’m glad you didn’t listen to me on the bed frame. This really goes well with the place. The one I liked wouldn’t be right here.”  
  


***  
They had argued about it. David wanted Patrick to get an upholstered headboard, something a little classier than the one Patrick wanted. _It could,_ David argued, _be the focal point of the whole space._

In the furniture store, Patrick had whispered quietly in David’s ear. He had blushed. David had patted his shoulder.  
  
“Sweetie. They make restraints that attach to the legs of the bed and flip up onto the mattress. We could just order those.” David told him quietly when the salesperson had left them alone for a moment.

“I don’t want those, David. I want…”

“The ribbon and the belt.” David nodded.

“Yeah.” Patrick said bashfully and jammed his hands deep into his pockets.

“Well,” David rubbed his back. “Then get this one. It’s not as nice…but…it would… accommodate your… needs.”

***

  
As they stood looking at the room, David conceded. “You were right, Patrick. This is perfect.” He watched Patrick. Patrick eyed the bed. Bare mattress. Bed unmade. But Patrick’s eyes were on the bars of the headboard.

Patrick turned and moved to sit down on one of the new chairs near the fireplace. David followed. Sat on the couch. Watched Patrick.

Waited.

Patrick was lost in his thoughts. He was a planner. He had formulated in his mind how it would all go down. Getting the place ready. Their first meal there. The first time they made love. All of it was planned. And it all went to hell.

“Patrick?” David’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“I’m disappointed.” Patrick said quietly.

“In me?” David asked.

“In everything. This … this whole thing.” Patrick waved his hand, indicating the apartment.

Patrick couldn’t even begin to express, would probably never admit it to David, that at one point during the day he wanted to just pack everything up and leave the apartment and not go back to it.

“I’m sorry.” David said. He meant it.

“I don’t know that it’s your fault. It just… is not what I had planned.” Patrick said. His elbows on his knees. His head hanging below his shoulders.

David tried to be positive. “It looks great, Patrick. I don’t know what you planned, but…”

“Not how it looks, David. That’s not what I mean.”

David sat back and pulled his feet up under himself. The turtling started. “Then what do you mean?”

“Do you think that I planned for the first time we had sex here to be me slamming you against the kitchen cabinets?” Patrick stood. His voice raised. Motioned toward the kitchen.

“You were a willing participant in that.” David said quickly.

“I know. I know. I’m not saying …. It just…wasn’t what I had planned.” Patrick’s voice full of frustration.

“OK.” David said. His voice on the verge of challenging. “ So… what did you have planned?”

Patrick shook his head. Dropped his volume. “Not that.”

“What else?” David asked. Ready to hear how he ruined Patrick’s plans. “Tell me. What else is disappointing.”

“My mom. David. My parents. My mom was going to come… and she didn’t.” Patrick’s voice cracked with emotion.

“Sweetie.” David stood and moved near him. “I realize you wanted to see her, but you got to see your dad, right? I mean... that’s good.”

“David. You don’t understand.” Patrick was frustrated.

“So? Help me understand.” David said gently.

“David… I…” Patrick voice faltered when he tried to speak. His voice shook. “I haven’t seen them in so long. I keep trying to see them.”

“I know. I know, Patrick. I’m sorry. But you talk to your mom all the time. You saw your dad.” David tried to comfort him. He didn’t realize how badly Patrick had wanted to see his parents. He hadn’t talked that much about them lately.

“You just… you don’t get it.” Patrick sighed.

“Then help me get it.” David encouraged again.

“David, I was going to see them both. Together. I was…”

Patrick’s phone rang. He sighed. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. Saw that it was his dad. “David… I gotta….” He pointed at his phone.

David nodded. Waved his hand toward the phone.

“Dad. Hi.” Patrick said into his phone. “Good. You made it. Wow, you made really good time. Oh… yeah… fewer bathroom breaks.” Patrick chuckled.

He looked at David. He walked away from him and sat down on the couch. “Really good to see you too, Dad. Nice of Tom to come with you. He was … yeah he was helpful.”

David sat down beside Patrick. Put an arm around him. His hand squeezed Patrick’s shoulder. Once. Twice.

Patrick shut his eyes and leaned into David. He sighed. David kissed him on the temple.

“Oh, she’s there? Did the baby … it did. Everyone OK? Good… yeah. Yeah I’d like to talk to her.” Patrick said.

When Patrick heard his mom’s voice, the tears formed in his eyes. The profound disappointment he felt flooded to the surface. The disappointment in himself for not talking to her sooner. The disappointment in not seeing her earlier in the day when he saw his dad. It was all built up in him.

He took a ragged breath.

“Hi, Mom.” He swiped a tear off his cheek with the back of his hand. David’s arms tightened around him. Another kiss on his temple. David’s hands rubbed his arm.

“Oh Mom. Don’t cry. It’s OK. We’ll see each other…. I’m so glad you were there for Jenny. I know you were a big help to her…. It’s OK. Listen… this stuff you sent me… Mom. Thank you. I really appreciate it. No… not everything is ready. I haven’t had a chance to open all the boxes yet. I’ll Facetime you when it’s all set up. Take you on a tour… yeah…Yup. Rug is great. Yes, David saw it… he said you have good taste.” Patrick chuckled.

David’s hand moved to Patrick’s head. He pulled him close.

“Wall unit is good, yes. The desk… it all fits well. Appreciate you thinking of it. Don’t worry, you’ll see it. Yes…the paint color is great. He’s right… David chose the color. Agreed… he’s very helpful. No,… no Dad didn’t get to meet him. He was in Elmdale today. I think he spent some time with the folks at the AIDS Center. Yeah… yes he is. He’s _very_ generous.”

David smiled, knowing Patrick’s mom was talking about him.

Patrick ran his hand over his face. Rubbed his eyes. “What’s the baby’s name, Mom?” Patrick moved the conversation away from talking about David. He was an expert at changing the subject with her. All these months of phone calls. Keeping himself safely in the dark closet.

“You have pictures? Yes, please. Send them. I’d love to see all that you have.” His voice was light. Positive.

Patrick turned when David adjusted how he was sitting on the couch so he could spoon Patrick. David sat with his back against the arm of the couch. Patted the cushion in front of him. Patrick moved and pressed his back against David’s front. David wrapped his arms around Patrick. Pressed his palms to Patrick’s chest.

He talked with his mom for a while longer. Babies. Cousin Jenny. They talked about the things Marcy sent Patrick, again. Things for the kitchen. The bathroom. The bed.

Patrick teased his mom, “You know Dad is never going to let you live down that he shaved an hour off each leg of his trip because you weren’t there asking to stop and go to the restroom.” He rolled his head back onto David’s shoulder.

Before long Patrick and his mom were laughing together on the phone. And Patrick felt like he could hang up without being sad. Without her being sad. The mother and son said their goodbyes with a promise for a facetime tour as soon as the apartment was in order.

David remained quiet throughout the call. He peppered Patrick’s neck, cheek, ear with kisses.

“Listen.” David said. Still petting Patrick’s chest in their make-shift couch spoon. “Why don’t I make the bed and we can get some sleep.”

Patrick wiggled out of David’s hold. “No.” He sat up. “I don’t want to spend the night here.”

“Why not?” David asked him.

“I don’t want my first night of sleep here to be full of … whatever this is hanging between us.” Patrick said. He stood. “I want…we need to talk through everything before we have our first night here.”

“Let’s talk.” David said. He patted the cushion beside him on the couch.

“I’m too tired.” Patrick shut off the bathroom light. He moved to the front door and stood with his hand on the doorknob. “Let’s go.”

David stood in the middle of the room. “What about me? Where am I…?”  
  
“Wherever you want, David. Your call.”

“I want to go to your place.” David picked up his bag from the table and stepped into the hallway. He waited for Patrick to lock the door.

Patrick put his hand on David’s lower back and walked a half step behind him as they walked toward the stairs.

++++++

David took plenty of time in the bathroom. He wasn’t sure what the plan was for the night, but he wanted to be ready nonetheless.

When he entered Patrick’s bedroom the room was dark. No lamps. No television. No light from a phone.

David used his phone to light his way. Shut the bedroom door. Made his way to the bed. He pushed off his pants and pulled off his t-shirt. He crawled under the covers.

Patrick faced away from David, resting on his side. Facing the wrong way for a good spooning, as far as David was concerned.

David slid up to him, reached out for him. Found him dressed similarly. Underwear only.

David pressed against Patrick’s back. Ran his hand down Patrick’s side, then moved to wrap around him. His hand roamed over Patrick’s chest. Then slid down and cupped Patrick’s dick.

Patrick’s hand reached down and grasped David’s wrist. David smiled into Patrick’s neck. _He’s awake._

“Mmmmm.” David made a sound and rocked his hips against Patrick’s ass.

“Not tonight, Babe.” Patrick said.

“Patrick. Let me make it up to you.” David asked.

“David. I’m not talking about any of it tonight. I’m so tired. I was up before dawn. It’s late. I want to go to sleep.”

“Let me just…”

Patrick rolled onto his back. “David. Listen to me. I’m not playing. I’m telling you no.”

“Yup. You’re right. I’m sorry.” David rolled over. Rolled away from Patrick.

Patrick lay on his back. Both arms up over his eyes. “Why do I feel like I owe you an apology now?”

“You don’t.” David said quietly.

“You’re damn right I don’t. Sometimes you don’t get your own way, David. Sometimes I need to get my way. And tonight? I don’t want to have sex.”

“OK, Patrick. I just thought if it was our last night here you might want….”

“I don’t.” Patrick said. He rolled to his side, facing away from David.

David was silent.

“If you just would have talked to me last night… we might have worked through it all. None of the shit that happened today would have had to happen.” Patrick said. His voice was calm. Quiet. But he was angry. Very angry.

“I wasn’t ready to talk.” David said. He rolled onto his back.

“I’m glad we could accommodate your wishes. _Again_. As always.” Patrick spat out.

“Patrick.” David’s tone was scolding. He was shocked at the tone that Patrick was using.

“I can’t even explain to you what it felt like getting that picture today.” Patrick said quietly. Hurt evident in his voice.

David rolled over to face Patrick’s back. His hand touched Patrick’s back. “Patrick. You don’t have anything to worry about. Cody and I aren’t…”

“I know that.” Patrick sat up and looked down at David. “You think I don’t know that? I _know that_. But I didn’t like getting the picture sent to me… _especially_ from him.”

“I’m sorry.” David reached out and touched Patrick’s knee. 

“David. I’m so damn tired. If we keep talking, I’m going to say things that are going to come out wrong. I just want to go to sleep.” Patrick said.

“OK, Sweetie.” David patted the mattress beside him. “Come on. Let me hold you.”

“No.” Patrick said. Eyebrows furrowed.

David sighed. “Fine.” He rolled over. Facing away from Patrick again.

Patrick sat looking down at David.

He was tired. His eyelids were heavy. He just wanted to sleep. He knew what position was the most comfortable. Knew how he would best sleep.

He sighed.

Patrick moved. Pressed himself against David’s back. Patrick was the big spoon.

David smiled as he felt Patrick’s arm wrap around him. Felt Patrick kiss his shoulder.

They settled into their sleeping position. David’s hands gripping Patrick’s forearm.

“Can we talk tomorrow?” Patrick asked him.

David smiled. “Anytime you want. Just…”

“Not before 10 am.” Patrick finished for him.

David turned his head and Patrick leaned forward.

A brief kiss.

“If you decide you want to… make love… in the middle of the night. Just wake me up.” David told him.

“You’re exhausting.” Patrick said. He kissed David’s shoulder.

“I love you, Mr. Brewer.”

“I love you too, David.”

The two drifted to sleep in each other’s arms unaware that their sleep would be short-lived and their exhausting night was nowhere close to being over.

++

End part 3 of 4

++


	10. Preparations: Part 4 of 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick spend one last night in Patrick's room at Ray's. It is not an easy night for either of them. The following Sunday, Patrick says goodbye to Ray and works on his apartment while David goes to Rose Family brunch. The two men spend the rest of their day together. In this chapter they share arguments. Truth telling moments. And, finally, they ... connect. (in that order)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between 5.03 and 5.04.  
> This is part 4 of 4 parts. 
> 
> ****WARNING****  
> Late night arguing. Bad dreams. Discussions of cheating. Basically it starts with them having a really sucky night.  
> (but they will have a soft landing)  
> ****WARNING****  
> Discussion of HIV and AIDS. (Note: This chapter was written before the current pandemic and was scheduled to post this week. I am choosing to go ahead and post it because I think more of you would be positively impacted by the resolution to this 4 part story than would be upset by the discussions. HOWEVER, if reading about a different pandemic may trigger you, please do not read this chapter.)  
> ****WARNING****  
> Rimming. Edging. (That's not so much a warning as a tag.).  
> ***END OF WARNINGS***  
> ++
> 
> Since this was a long 4 parts, posted 1 week between each, I offer you a brief recapitulation.  
> Part 1 - David talks to Patrick's mom on the phone about the apartment. David and Patrick shop for paint. They begin to work on the apartment together. Patrick goes through the photos in David's phone and discovers the family portrait and declares David looks like a prince.
> 
> Part 2 - Patrick works alone painting the apartment and meets a new neighbor. David comes to the apartment. They have rough sex in the kitchen. The condom breaks. David has an anxiety attack. David refuses to talk to Patrick. David reaches out to Cody. Patrick receives a text to tell him that his parents are coming to town. Patrick calls his friend, Terri. 
> 
> Part 3 - David ignores Patrick's texts. David goes to the AIDS center to get tested. Patrick's dad arrives with the neighbor. His mom was unable to join them. While David talks with his friend Cody in a restaurant, Toby the umpire from their past takes a picture of the two men and sends it to Patrick. David visits Patrick at the end of the day, ready to apologize. Patrick has an emotional conversation with his mother. Patrick and David go back to Patrick's room at Ray's. 
> 
> ++  
> The days are getting rough for some of our friends. Please continue to be kind to yourselves and others. 
> 
> I hope this chapter doesn't trigger you, but instead brings you some semblance of comfort. 
> 
> For what it's worth, this week I set up a twitter account. You can find me at PandorasDaydrm. If you are feeling like you need to connect you can talk at me there. (and you can thank...or blame?... DisgruntledPelican {Disgruntled_AF} for her immense patience as she worked me through that process.) *Winking face emoji*
> 
> Hoping you and yours are well.  
> \- PD
> 
> ++

++++++

He heard David. It’s what pulled him out of his sleep. Heard him whimper? Cry? Then he felt him. Patrick’s arm was still draped over him. His forehead still pressed against David’s shoulder.

Still half asleep Patrick’s arm tightened around him, in an instinctive move to protect him. David’s body was jerking. His arm struggled to be free of Patrick.

Patrick moved. Sat up. Realized David was still sleeping.

A gentle hand to David’s shoulder. “David. Wake up. You’re having a bad dream. David.”

David’s arm flailed. Pushed Patrick away. Still asleep.

“David. Wake up.”

Shaken awake, David rolled onto his back. Looked at Patrick with wide eyes. His breathing fast and heavy.

David nodded. He whispered, “Thank you. I was trying to wake up.”

Before Patrick could comfort him. Talk to him. David sat up. Got out of bed. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

Patrick watched him go. A sliver of moonlight shined through the window and across the room, allowing Patrick to see David’s black boxer briefs snug on is body as he walked, barefoot, out of the room.

++++++

When David returned to bed, he lay on his back. Rubbed his eyes with one hand. His other hand reached over to touch Patrick’s bare chest.

“You OK?” Patrick asked. He rolled to his side; facing David.

“I will be.”

“Trixie?” Patrick asked. This wasn’t the first time David had a nightmare.

“You could say that.” David said. Not wanting to tell Patrick what the dream was really about.

Patrick moved then. Moved over David. David spread his legs to accommodate Patrick’s knees. Raised his arms so Patrick’s elbows could rest on either side of him. Patrick knew that David liked to have the pressure of his weight on him after a bad dream. He always told Patrick that the pressure comforted him. 

Patrick kissed his cheek. His neck. David’s hands settled on Patrick’s biceps. His fingers caressing Patrick’s muscled arms.

David’s voice was barely audible. A quiet whisper. “How did I get out of it without being sick? How did I live that life and…not…”

“I don’t know, David.” Patrick whispered, realizing what David’s dream must have been about. He kissed David’s shoulder.

“The partying? The drug use? The… people…”

Patrick continued comforting David. Small kisses. He rocked them. Sideways. Back and forth. A rhythm that he knew soothed David.

“I don’t know, Babe.” Patrick said.

“I never got anything. How did I not _get_ anything?” David asked. “There are people who didn’t do near what I did…”

“David.”

“Who were infected…”

“David.”

“Who died, Patrick. And… I haven’t ….”

“David.

“I would have deserved it, But....”

Patrick immediately pulled his head back. Looked at David.

“David Rose.” Patrick lifted himself up. On his hands and knees over David. “David. Look at me. You don’t mean that.”

David’s brow furrowed. “I think I do.”

“That virus… David. It is _not_ a punishment to people.” Patrick’s tone was scolding, though his volume was quiet.

David turned his head and looked at the shadows on the wall. Realized it was the last night he’d see those shadows on that flowery wallpaper.

Patrick held David’s chin in his hand. “David, look at me, please.”

David’s eyes darted up to Patrick’s eyes and then darted away.

“You don’t mean that, David.” Patrick was insistent.

 _Convince me._ David pleaded with his eyes.

“Do you think the millions of people who have been diagnosed… or who have died of it… they _deserved_ it?” Patrick asked him.

David shook his head.

“David… do you think Trixie? _Your_ Trixie deserved it?”

A tear fell out of the corner of David’s eye. Down his temple. Into his hair. He shook his head. He whispered, “No. No, I don’t.”

“So why would you say _you_ deserved it?” Patrick asked him.

“I don’t know. Patrick. I don’t know.” David reached for Patrick’s shoulders. Pulled him close. Encouraged him to press his solid weight on David’s body again.  
  
Patrick followed David’s lead. Elbows on the mattress. Most of his body weight on David.

Patrick kissed David’s jaw. He whispered. “I need to hear you say it. It is not a punishment. Nobody deserves it. YOU… David. You _don’t_ deserve it.”

“OK. You’re right. I don’t deserve it. Nobody does. That _fucking_ disease.” David whispered.

Patrick tasted the salt of David’s tears when he kissed him near his ear.

Patrick felt compelled to say something to David that he had been holding for some time.

“David, I know she was special to you? I know she did a lot for you? But… she messed you up. You were young and she… the things she taught you may have kept you safe in that time but… she messed with your mind.” Patrick told him.

David nodded. “That’s what Cody said.”

Patrick paused. Took a breath. _Cody._

“I just don’t know how I got out of it without getting anything.” David said again. His fingers brushing along Patrick’s biceps.

 _Especially that one night._ David thought to himself.

“Well, maybe we have her to thank for that.” Patrick told him. He kept an eye on David’s face.

“So how do I let go of what she taught me? Patrick… how do I justify what she taught me with… with my life now?” David asked, honestly wanting to know.

Patrick thought for a moment before speaking. “Because now? You have other voices. Voices who are with you today. Who know the reality of _today_. You just have to listen to those voices… to _Cody_. He knows.”

“Patrick.” David’s voice, still just a whisper.

Patrick pulled back and looked in David’s eyes. Their faces so close, their noses were almost touching.

“What, Babe?” Patrick whispered. Ready to kiss him. Ready to make it better.

David’s eyes didn’t leave Patrick’s. “You have to promise me when you cheat on me, you will use a condom. You have to _promise_.”

David saw the reaction. If he were being honest, it was the reaction he’d hoped to receive.

Shock.

Pain.

Anger.

“ _When!_? You’re asking me _WHEN_ I cheat on you…?” Patrick sat up again.

“OK. _If_.” David said.

“You said _when_.” Patrick sat on his knees. His rear end resting on his feet. He sat between David’s legs. He looked at him with incredulity on his face.

“It’s bound to happen.” David raised himself up, leaning back on his elbows.

“David. Has Cody told you that he thinks I’m going to cheat on you?” Patrick asked, working hard to control the anger that was bubbling under the surface.

“No.” David sat up, rapidly shaking his head. “Actually… Cody swears you won’t cheat. Ever.”

“Wait. So… you’ve talked about me with Cody. About you thinking I might cheat.” Patrick clarified.

“It … came up.” David nodded.

“Who brought it up? _Who_ brought it up, David?” Patrick struggled to keep his voice quiet.

“I did.” David shrugged.

“And you think that I’m going to cheat. My _boyfriend_ … thinks I’m going to cheat. But the damn counselor at the center thinks I’m a standup guy who wouldn’t cheat. _Ever_.” The volume of Patrick’s voice began to increase.

“I think that’s maybe… oversimplifying it?” David made a face to signify his discomfort.

“So… you think I’m just… looking for opportunities?” Patrick asked. “Are _you_ planning on cheating, David?”

David shook his head. “I didn’t do anything with Cody, Patrick.”

“David.” Patrick was standing by the bed now. His voice no longer a whisper. “I _know_ you didn’t _do anything_ with Cody. I _never thought_ you did anything with Cody.”

“Then what’s your problem with him?” David asked.

“That’s another conversation for another time. I am not… I’m not letting you off the hook for the comment you made. _When… when_ I cheat on you? David. How about… _when_ are you going to trust me? When are _you_ going to trust that I’m not planning on ever doing that?” Patrick’s hands were on his hips. His nostrils flared. His lips thin and pressed together.

His face red.

His voice angry.

David held in a smile. If he were being honest in the moment, he’d tell you that an angry Patrick standing in front of him, wearing only his snug tighty-whiteys, was a sight to behold.

David pulled himself back into the conversation. “I didn’t say you were _planning_ on it. Cheating sometimes… it just _happens_. Men cheat. _Men_ …. Have trouble with monogamy.”

Patrick walked to the corner of the room and sat down on the arm chair. David sat on the edge of the bed.

“You think my dad… hell… _your dad_? You think _they_ have trouble with monogamy?” Patrick asked.

“OK.” David nodded his head. He waved his hand in front of himself. “Point taken. Maybe … I mean… queer…”

Patrick cut him off. He held up a finger. “Don’t even go there, David. Don’t go to that antiquated, stereotypical palace that _you_ – of all people – would _never_ allow _anyone_ to go to in a conversation.”

“You’re right. That was wrong.” David shook his head. “I was wrong for even hinting at it. You know I don’t believe that. I was… trying to find an example…” David’s voice trailed off.

Patrick cut him off. “You can’t find an example. Because you’re grasping at straws, David.”

Patrick sat quietly. Angry. His hands rubbing the arms of the chair. Agitated.

David moved to him. Settled on his knees in front of Patrick. Hands on Patrick’s knees he spread them wide enough for him to maneuver himself between them. He ran his hands up and down Patrick’s thighs. _God, I love these thighs._

David tried again. “If I said _if_ … would it be easier to talk about? _If_ you ever cheat on me… promise you’ll use a condom?”

“I’m. Not. Going. To. Cheat. On. You.” Patrick said adamantly. His voice struggling to stay quiet.

“OK. Let me say it another way.” David said. Searching for the words he wanted.

“I don’t care how you say it, David.” Patrick said.

“When you were with Rachel…”

“David.”

David continued. “Let me finish… when you were with Rachel and you broke up...”

“OK.” Patrick nodded. “But we were _broken up_. Those girls… Rachel and I were broken up.”

David took another stab at it. “Patrick, if we ever break up…”

“We’re not going to break up.” Patrick interrupted him.

“Patrick. Stop it. Let me finish. Please.” David tapped the tips of his fingers on Patrick’s knees.

Patrick settled a hand on top of David’s. “OK.” He sat quietly. He waited.

David rolled his hand under Patrick’s. So that their palms pressed together. He took a deep breath and tried again.

“If we ever break up. On the off chance that we may get back together again. Will you promise me that you will use condoms?” David asked.

Patrick sat up. Moved to the edge of the chair. Rested his hands on David’s shoulders. “OK. Sure. Yeah. David. _If…if_ we ever break up and I decide to fuck someone else, I will use a condom. I promise.”

David touched Patrick’s bare chest. “Look at me, Patrick.”

Patrick locked eyes with him.

“And… if you ever find yourself in that place you cannot even fathom. Where we are not broken up… but you are with someone… and you end up fucking…”

“David.” Patrick immediately protested.  
  
David raised a finger. “Patrick so help me.”

Patrick grew quiet.

“…and you end up fucking… you will wear a condom. Promise me.”

“David.”

“Patrick. I need you to promise this.”

Patrick slid off the chair. Sat on his knees in front of David. His hands grasped David’s biceps. “I’m _never_ going to cheat on you. I can promise you that.”

“Patrick. That is not what I’m asking you to promise. _Don’t you hear me_? I don’t want the _bar_ that _high_. I _don’t trust_ the bar being that high.” David said.

“You mean you don’t trust me.” Patrick said quietly.

David shook his head. Looked up at the ceiling. He took a deep breath. He exhaled slowly. Then, softly he said, “I trust you more than I’ve trusted _anyone_ in my life, Patrick. More than anyone.”

“But you don’t _really_ trust me.” Patrick shook his head.

“I don’t trust…” David made a sweeping motion with his hand to indicate the world outside of Patrick’s room. “I don’t trust _them_. I _would_ trust you… I _do_ trust you… to put on a condom.”

“But you don’t trust that I won’t fuck someone else.” Patrick stood. Moved to the bed. Sat down.

David lifted himself up and sat on the chair. “I’m asking you to promise… should the unspeakable happen… that you will use a _fucking condom_. Is that too much to ask, Patrick?”

Patrick knew he had to stop this cycle of argument. If he didn’t, it would never end.

He stood. He held out a hand to David who took it and stood facing Patrick.

“I can promise this…” Patrick pulled him close. Looked him in the eye. “I will use a condom if I ever… have sex… outside of this relationship. That, David. That, I can promise.”

David looked into his eyes. “Thank you.”

David stepped close to him. Put a hand on Patrick’s bare chest.

“But I’m _never_ going to have sex outside of this relationship.” Patrick said, needing to have the last word.

“But you’ll use a condom if it happens?” David asked again.

Patrick sighed. “Yes,” he whispered.

David enveloped him in a hug. Arms wrapped around him so tightly that Patrick could barely breathe.

++++++

They lay in bed. Patrick nearly asleep. On his back. One hand flung over his eyes. One arm around David who was tucked under Patrick’s arm and resting on his shoulder.

David curled up close to Patrick. Left hand splayed across Patrick’s bare chest. Left knee pulled up and resting on Patrick’s thigh. Blankets pulled up to David’s chin.

David was wide awake. Listening to Patrick’s steady, rhythmic breathing. Listening to his heart beat under David’s ear.

David was content. He believed Patrick when he said he’d use a condom if he ever had sex with someone else. It was something David needed to hear.

Patrick’s body jerked violently. He made a noise. Raised his head and looked around the room. Then lowered his head back down to the pillow and shut his eyes.

David raised his head. Patted Patrick’s chest. “You OK?”

“Mmmm.” Patrick made a low sound in his chest. “I just fell.”

“Your body is trying to let go of stress. Want me to give you a massage?” David asked.

“No. Just go to sleep.” Patrick said.

“I can’t. Can’t shut off my brain.” David said. “Want to have sex?”

“No.” Patrick said. He rolled over. Away from David. His back to him.

David turned toward Patrick. Ran his left hand up and down Patrick’s back. Pressed up against him. Snaked his arm around his waist. Rested his hand on Patrick, just below his belly button.

“Sweetie, what else is bothering you?” David asked.

“I just want to go to sleep, David.” He murmured.

David kissed his shoulder. Pressed his forehead against the back of Patrick’s head.

He shut his eyes. Willing himself to join Patrick in sleep.

The room was quiet.

“You told me to shut up.” Patrick said into the darkness.

“I did? When?” David asked. Truly not remembering.

“When I dropped you off at the motel.” Patrick mumbled. Voice heavy with exhaustion.

“I’m sorry. I was angry.” David said.

Patrick rolled onto his back. David raised himself on an elbow and looked down at him.

“When I was kid… that was just something we couldn’t say. We could say _be quiet_. We could say _hush_. We could say _please let me finish_. But … _shut up_ … I was taught it was disrespectful.” Patrick told him.

“I didn’t know that.” David said.

“Now you know.” Patrick said.

“In my family we said it all the time.” David said.

They were quiet.

“I didn’t like it.” Patrick said.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to not do that again.” David said.

David lowered himself to tuck under Patrick’s arm. Head on Patrick’s shoulder. Knee bent, his leg resting on Patrick’s thigh again.

David turned his head slightly and kissed Patrick’s chest. His hand moved lightly over Patrick’s skin.

David felt Patrick’s hand start to rub circles on his back. He kissed Patrick’s chest again. Patrick’s hand moved more. Up and down David’s back. Fingers lightly circling.

David’s hand inched across Patrick’s chest. The tip of his middle finger grazed Patrick’s nipple.

“I don’t want to have sex, David.” Patrick said.

“I’m sorry. I know. I just wanted to touch you.” David said.

“Can we try to sleep? We can still get in a few hours if we just _go to sleep_.” Patrick said.

“Sure. Sure. We can sleep.” David rolled away from him. Backed up against him.

Patrick rolled over, pulled David to him. Kissed his shoulder. Pressed against his back. Patrick was the big spoon.

He shut his eyes and willed himself to drift off again.

David took a deep breath. Exhaled slowly. Shut his eyes and held on to Patrick’s arm as he drifted to sleep.

++++++

A loud noise woke him. It came from outside. He wasn’t sure what it was but it startled him and he sat up in bed.

David felt Patrick move suddenly. “What? What’s wrong?” David asked. He also sat up.

“Did you hear that?” Patrick asked.

“I didn’t hear anything.” David fell back onto his pillow. “Go back to sleep.”

“I have to pee.” Patrick got out of bed.

David followed him. Went into the bathroom behind him. Stood beside him at the toilet.

“Don’t cross streams.” Patrick said with a half-smile on his face.

“Worst movie ever.” David reminded him with a smile. _Their own private joke._

++++++

Settled back in bed. It was near dawn and the sun danced just below the horizon. Patrick lay in bed wide awake. The room they were in threatened to soon be bathed in light.

He lay on his back. David snuggled against him again. David’s head on his shoulder. Knee bent; his leg propped on Patrick’s thigh. David’s hand on his chest. He moved his hand. His fingers writing invisible letters on Patrick’s chest.

He waited for Patrick to protest. He did not.

David moved his finger over one nipple. Around it. Across it. He felt it respond to his touch. He heard Patrick’s heart rate increase under his ear.

He moved his hand. Let it trail down Patrick’s chest, over his abdomen. Until his fingers reached the waistband of Patrick’s briefs.

He waited for Patrick to protest. He did not.

He snuck his little finger under the waistband. Moved it back and forth just under the band. Teasing Patrick’s skin.

He waited for Patrick to protest. He did not.

He moved his hand over the outside of Patrick’s briefs. His fingers lightly grazed him along the edges of his cock. Fingers dancing down the dick that was somewhere between uninterested and starting to take notice. He cupped Patrick’s fullness. His balls. Gently massaged him.

He waited for Patrick to protest. He did not.

He moved his head just a little and his tongue snuck out to lick Patrick. Lick him delicately on the nipple that was very near his mouth. Patrick moved his hand from David’s back to his head. Patrick’s fingers massaged the back of his head. Stroked softly through the thick hair on the top of his head.

David moved over him. Straddled his leg. His lips, his tongue, trailed over Patrick’s flesh. Licking him. Kissing him. His neck. That vein on his neck. Until their lips came together. Silently. Gently. No urgency. Sweet connection in the semi-dark room.

Patrick’s hands moved to David’s lower back. Then they worked their way into his briefs. Cupped his bare ass. Fingers massaging. Stroking him. Softly pressing into his flesh while David’s hips rocked against him.

Patrick whispered into his ear. “I don’t want to have sex.”

David’s body stilled. He moved his hand off Patrick’s cock.

“OK.” David said quietly.

He started to move off Patrick, when Patrick’s hands squeezed his ass again.

“I want to leave this room the way we started in it.” Patrick said quietly.

“Mmmm.” David made a sound into his ear. He kissed him. Knew what he meant. “You want a seventh-inning stretch.” He said, knowingly. His lips brushing against Patrick’s.

Patrick pushed against him. Rolled him off. And in one move, Patrick was on top of David. Put a knee between David’s. David spread his legs. Did that thing he does, where he raises his knees. Wraps his legs around Patrick. Locks his feet behind Patrick to pull him closer.

Patrick buried his face in David’s neck. Inhaled his scent.

David’s hands moved on Patrick. Moved down his back. Up his back. Down to his ass. He tucked his hands under the waistband of Patrick’s underwear. His hands each holding firmly to Patrick’s roundness. Massaging. Squeezing.

Patrick pressed his body against David’s. Just like the first time. Their cocks lined up. Side-by-side. The thin fabric of their underwear between them.

He kissed David. Gently. Lips brushing lips. A flick of the tongue, between David’s parted lips.

“That first time.” Patrick looked down at David. “I was so embarrassed that this did it for me.”

“That first time was heaven.” David told him. “This time is heaven.”

He kept one of his hands on Patrick’s ass but moved one to hold the back of Patrick’s head as he kissed David’s neck. Held Patrick’s head, guiding him to that spot. _Yes. That one right there._

As Patrick exhaled into his ear, a chill ran down the side of his body.

“You were so scared.” David said.

“You were patient with me.” Patrick nuzzled him. Kissed him.

“You were patient with _me_ first.” David’s fingers pressed into Patrick’s scalp as he held him close. “You’re always patient with me.”

“We have a lot of memories in this room.” Patrick said.

“You fucked me for the first time in this room.” David moved his head so Patrick could have better access to his neck.

“We celebrated monthiversaries in this room.” Patrick breathed into his ear.

“You tied me up with a belt for the first time in this room.” David countered.

Patrick chuckled into his ear.

 _I will never tire of that sound._ David thought. _I love the sound of that little laugh in my ear._

“You’ll do it to me again, soon. In that new bed of yours.” David said quietly into his ear.

Patrick began to rock faster. His body over David’s, their cocks pressed between them.

“Tell me. Patrick… tell me what you’ll do to me.” David asked him. He needed something more than the friction to get him where he needed to go for the release he had craved all night long.

Patrick was quiet. But his words gruff against David’s ear. “Tie your hands.”

He pressed his hips against David’s. “Your ass up. I love your ass.”

David smiled a toothy grin over Patrick’s shoulder. His legs squeezed tighter around him. One hand held Patrick’s head. The other dug into the flesh of his round ass cheek. “What are you going to do to my ass, Patrick.”

And as the first crack of dawn eased through the window, Patrick spoke at a volume that only David could hear. Told him of the things he wanted to do. With his fingers. With his mouth. With his cock. To David. For David.

He used words that David knew were making him blush. He used words that Patrick always told him were too filthy, too _naughty_ to say out loud. And upon hearing them, hearing Patrick say them. In that low, quiet tone meant only for him, David found release. The warm dampness spread between them and soon Patrick followed.

++++++

David went to the café for the Rose Family Sunday brunch.

Patrick sat in the kitchen and split an omelet for the last time with Ray.

The two men were quiet as they ate. Patrick sipped his tea.

“I’m gonna miss you, Buddy.” Patrick looked over his mug at Ray.

“Me, too, Patrick. But I’m very glad you’re still going to do some work for me. We’ll get to check in with each other.” Ray said. Always seeing the glass half full.

Patrick took his dishes to the sink. Rinsed them. Put them in the dishwasher. “I’m going to head up and get the last of my boxes.”

“I’ll help you.” Ray declared.

The two men carried the last of the boxes to Patrick’s car. Patrick went upstairs for one last look at the bedroom. He sat on the side of the bed and Ray came to the door and stood.

“Hey, Ray. Can I take your picture?” Patrick asked. There was something about Ray standing there. In the doorway where he had frustrated Patrick so many times.

“Sure.” Ray stood with his hands at his side. A large smile on his face. Patrick took his picture.  
  
Then Patrick moved to stand beside him. He took a selfie of the two of them.

Downstairs, Ray stopped Patrick. “I have something for you. For you and David.”

Patrick furrowed his brow. “Ray. You didn’t have to…”

Ray interrupted him, waving off his protest. “It’s nothing big. Just a little something.” He handed Patrick a small gift bag.

Patrick peered inside and smiled broadly. “Ray. I love them. David will love them. Thank you.” Patrick opened his arms and Ray stepped into the embrace of the person who was probably his closest friend over the course of the past year.

“I’ll see you on Tuesday!” Ray said brightly.

“Yup. Tuesday!” Patrick said. He stepped out on the porch and turned around. Handed Ray his key.  
  
“No. Patrick. Keep it for a while. For emergencies.” Ray said.

“Ray.” Patrick looked down at his feet and paused. Then he looked at Ray’s smiling face. “You changed my life.”

“No. Patrick.” Ray shook his head. “You changed your life. I just rented you a place to rest while you did it.”

Patrick pressed his lips together in a slight smile and nodded. Held the gift bag close to his body and turned to head for his car. Before he got in, he looked back at him.

Ray stood on the porch. He waved broadly. “See you Tuesday!” he called.

Patrick got in his car, waved goodbye to Ray, and drove to his new home.

++++++

Patrick sat on the floor of his apartment. He played their playlist on his phone. All the songs they fell in love to. He unpacked another box. Unpacked things from a box he brought from Ray’s. He put them into his dresser. Thought about the rough day he’d had the day before. Thought about his disappointment at not being able to come out to his parents.

Patrick pulled out the last of the boxes that his dad brought, opting to see what was in it rather than finish unpacking the stack of boxes he brought from Ray’s. He opened the flaps and saw that a note was resting on the top of the items.

_My Sweet Boy -_

_Congratulations on your new home! Everything here is laundered and fresh for you to use. I bought things from the list David shared (it was so thoughtful of him to help me). I’m heartsick that I can’t make the trip with Dad. I look forward to the day I can visit, see your store, meet your friends, see your new apartment, and hold you in my arms. Until then, I hope these things help make your space a little more comfortable._

_I love you._

_-Mom_

Patrick pulled the bath towels, hand towels, wash cloths, and bathmat out of the box. He put them in the bathroom. Back at the box he pulled out a set of sheets and pillow cases. He’d already made the bed with the set he had in his own belongings. He stored the extra set on the shelving unit. He looked in the bottom of the box.

_What the?_

_A mattress protector?_ A plastic mattress protector. Patrick shook his head and chuckled. His mom was always practical. Save the mattress no matter what. Despite how uncomfortable mattress protectors were. He folded it back up, tucked it into the bottom dresser drawer and began to gather some of the empty boxes to take downstairs to the recycling bin.

_Mom. Damnit. If you only could have been here…_

A knock at the door pulled him out of his thoughts. He went to the door. When he opened it, David stood in the hallway. Black bag hanging in the crook of his arm. A cardboard container in his hands that contained two hot beverages and a small brown bag.

“Hi.” David said in a breathy voice.

“Hi.” Patrick stepped aside to let him in.

David leaned in and kissed him. A chaste kiss on the cheek.

“I brought hot tea and cookies.” David said. He put the contents he held on the kitchen table. He looked around the apartment. Patrick had been busy while he was at brunch.

“I have this for you.” Patrick dug in his pocket and held out a key.

David looked at it. He pulled his lips into his mouth. Bit down on them. Worked hard to control his excitement.

“What’s that?” He asked with a coy look on his face.

“That’s a key to my apartment.” Patrick said. Still holding the key out to David.

“What does it mean?” David asked him. _Fool me once, shame on … however that saying goes._

Patrick put his hands on David’s waist. He kissed him briefly on the lips. He looked him in the eyes.

“It means you can come and go as much as you like. Whether I’m here or not, this is a place that you can come and be safe. Be comfortable. And… although you don’t live here full time? It’s… it’s your place, too. If you want it to be.” Patrick said. His eyes dropped to David’s lips. Moved slowly back up to his eyes.

“Even… if we’re fighting?” David asked quietly.

Patrick nodded his head. “Even if…”

David’s mouth pulled to the side in a little smile of satisfaction. He took the key from Patrick and tucked it into his jeans pocket. “Thank you, Patrick.”

++++++

David sat, or rather reclined on the bed while Patrick ironed and hung the new curtains. David lay on his side, head propped in the palm of his hand.

“This is a really comfortable mattress. Nice choice, Mr. Brewer.” He said. His hand patted the mattress beside him.

“Yup.” Patrick groaned a little as he reached high to loop the curtain rod over its holder. The last curtain in place. “It was the most comfortable when we tried them all out.” Patrick stepped off the step ladder. Folded it and leaned it against the wall.

“Let’s take a nap. Aren’t you tired?” David asked.

“I am. But you want to have sex, not take a nap.” Patrick teased. He gathered the wrappings that had contained the curtains and deposited them in the trash. He unplugged the iron.

“No. I’m serious. I’m very tired. We didn’t sleep a wink last night.” David sat on the edge of the bed.

Patrick headed to the bathroom. “OK. I’ll be there in a minute.”

When Patrick emerged from the bathroom, David was digging pushing around some of the unpacked boxes that Patrick had brought on his last trip from Ray’s. Patrick’s heart skipped a beat. “What are you doing?”

“Just looking for Grandma’s quilt.” David moved to open one of the unopened boxes. He turned to look at Patrick, “You know I don’t like to nap without it.”

“David. No. I’ll get it. Just get on the bed.” Patrick said in a sharp tone.

David gave him a startled look. “OK. Mr. Bossy.” David sat on the edge of the bed.

Patrick opened the box. Grandma’s quilt was on top and he pulled it out and handed it to David. He turned back around and looked in it. There in the box, on top of a stack of Patrick’s workout clothes, having rested just under Grandma’s quilt, was the black, flat, long box that contained four gold rings. Patrick tucked the rings down inside the box. Deep inside, under a pair of his sweatpants. He moved the box of clothes to his closet. Closed the shutter-doors.

David was already laying down. Resting on his left side. Quilt up to his chin.

As Patrick crawled onto the bed, David said, “I love the new pillows, too. New pillows are always a nice treat.”

Patrick lifted the quilt and settled under it. His front pressed to David. David’s back to him. Patrick was the big spoon as they drifted to sleep for a much-needed Sunday nap.

++++++

David woke and was immediately confused. It was dark outside. Patrick had a few lamps lit in the apartment, but otherwise the room was dark. Music played quietly. He rolled over in the bed and saw Patrick sitting in one of the chairs by the fireplace. He was engrossed in a book.

“What time is it?” He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

Patrick slid the bookmark into his book. Set it on the stool beside the chair. “It’s late enough for dinner. I don’t have much. But I can make some pancakes.”

“Three please.” David said. “Wait. Four.”

Patrick pressed his lips together to stifle a grin and nodded his head. He went to the kitchen and started pulling out the things needed to make David dinner.

David walked to the bathroom, his bare feet padding silently as he went. “This door is nice.” He commented as he went in and shut it behind him.

++++++

Patrick poured the batter into the hot pan.

David settled at the table. He noticed a gift bag sitting there. “What’s this?” He asked Patrick.

A little something for us from Ray. Patrick said. He flipped the first pancake.

David peered into the bag. His head tilted to the side. He softly said, “Patrick.”

“He said he knew they were our favorites.” Patrick said. He flipped the pancake onto a plate and poured another into the pan.

“They were the only two matching coffee cups he had.” David said.

David pulled the two coffee cups out of the bag. Slate blue-grey. Cream colored on the inside. Simple, non-descript coffee cups. The only two that matched in Ray’s cupboard. The only two that didn’t have printed on them some logo, or pun, or photo of a client. The two that David always chose when he made their Sunday morning coffee/tea.

“He wanted us to have them here.” Patrick said.

“Well, put some water on, Patrick. We need to drink some tea now.” David said smiling at the cup he held in his hands.

++++++

They sat. Empty plates in front of them.

“Good pancakes. Thank you.” David said. He finished his tea. Rested his hands, along with his napkin, on his lap.

“Glad you liked them.” Patrick said. He sat. Arms crossed over his chest. Staring at his plate.

David sighed. “Patrick.”

He knew there was more they had to discuss. Another truth telling moment. He’d learned to face it. Lean into it.

“Mmm?” Patrick didn’t move his head, but raised his eyes and looked at David.

“You want to know why I was in Elmdale yesterday.” David said.

“No. I know why you were there,” Patrick said. “You were getting tested.”

“Yes…”

“And the results?” Patrick asked. Of course, he already knew.

David tilted his head to the left. “You know… the preliminary was fine. The deep dive will be back…”

“In a week or so.” Patrick finished his sentence, nodding.

“You want to know why I was in a restaurant with Cody.” David said.

Patrick shook his head. He spoke quietly. “You wanted to tell him about Trixie. Center closes at 3. I’m guessing you hadn’t eaten all day because of nerves. Makes sense you went to get something to eat while you talked.”

“Yes.” David nodded, realizing how well Patrick knew him. It always surprised him a bit when Patrick was so accurate.

“He help you come to any conclusions?” Patrick asked.

David’s left hand worried the rings on his right. He stared at his lap. He nodded.

Patrick waited. Working to hide his worry. Assuming David had a major bomb to drop.

“I’m going to see a doctor… next week I think.” David said.

“Doctor? I thought the tests…” Patrick shifted in his chair. He worked hard to keep his voice calm. He felt his heartbeat quicken.

David took a deep breath. Steeled himself for an argument. He looked Patrick directly in the eyes. “I’m going to ask to go back on PrEP.”

Patrick tilted his head. Squinted his eyes. “Cody recommended that?” Patrick asked.

“Um.” David cleared his throat. Stood. Moved to the sink and ran water into his cup and drank it. “No. He thinks it’s ridiculous. You probably do, too.”

Patrick turned in his chair. “I’d have to do some research. I just don’t know a lot about it. I thought it was for people who…”

“Choose your words carefully. I used to take it.” David said. “It gave me peace of mind. Kept me safe.”

“I’m thankful you had it.” Patrick said. “Why did you stop?”

“Insurance. Or… rather… lack thereof.” David said.

“Mmmm.” Patrick nodded.

They were quiet for a moment.

“You’ve had insurance for almost a year.” Patrick said. No question. No accusation. Just a statement.

“That’s correct.” David said.

“Well…” Patrick stood. Moved to stand near David who was leaning back against the sink. Coffee cup in his hands. He wrapped his arms around David and kissed his cheek, “It’s good that you have insurance to help pay for it.”

“You’re not going to tell me to not do it?” David asked. Waiting for… something. A reaction. Something.

“Not my business. If you’re worried, David. Take it.” Patrick leaned back against the sink.

“But…” David started and then stopped.

“But what?” Patrick asked.

“But you don’t have the virus.” David said.

“True.” Patrick nodded.

“Aren’t you… angry? Or… offended? That I want to take it?” David had expected Patrick to have a lot of emotions about this decision.

Patrick pressed his lips together. His brow furrowed. He shook his head. “I guess I’d like to know more about it so I know what it does to your body. But… No. I’m not upset. Whatever you feel like you need to do to be safe…David, I support it.”

The two stood side-by-side staring across the room at the bed. David clutching his coffee cup of water with both hands. Patrick with his arms crossed over his chest.

“There’s something else.” David said quietly. Feeling safe at not having to defend himself since Patrick took the news about PrEP so well.

Patrick looked down at his bare feet. He wiggled his toes. Working hard to keep his mind open and free of worry.

“I’m thinking about finding…going to… seeing a therapist.” David said. The last three words rushed out quickly. Quietly.

Patrick nodded. Eyes still on his toes. “OK.”

“OK?” David asked. He put his cup down. Turned to face Patrick.

Patrick turned to face David. Put his hands on David’s waist. Looked up into his eyes. “Whatever you want, David. I support you. Completely.”

David smiled down at Patrick. Kissed him gently. “Thank you.”

“Now. It’s late and if you want, I can take you home, but if it’s OK with you, I’d like for you to spend the night.” Patrick said.

“I can stay.” David said, a slight grin on his face.

“I’d like to have sex.” Patrick kissed him on the neck. Kissed him on the jaw. Kissed him gently on the lips. With a slight smile he said, “Not slam you against the kitchen cabinets kind of sex.” Patrick said. He nodded toward the bed. “I’d like to christen the new bed. You know… slow and…tender.”  
  
David’s eyes softened as they took in the blush that crept up Patrick’s cheeks.

“Whatever you’d like, Mr. Brewer.” He returned the gentle kiss.

“So…” Patrick’s thumb pointed over his shoulder. “I’m going to go try out my shower for the first time. I may…be a while…thinkin’ maybe you could… take the lead tonight?”

David held Patrick’s face in his hands. Kissed him soundly.

He knew what Patrick was doing. Knew why Patrick was asking David to top him. _This is why I love him. This._ David thought.

He couldn’t help but tease Patrick to lightened the mood. “Oh, I think history proves that you don’t do too well at turning over the reins, Mr. Brewer. But if you want to try to let me have control for a while, I think I can… make that happen.”

++++++

In the bathroom, Patrick retrieved the box he had stored under the sink. He stripped while the water in the sink ran warm. He began the process. Lubed the nozzle. Inserted it. Stood and held it. Waited. Turned music on his phone. His “David” play list. The list of music he began to create on the first day he spent with David. All the songs that make him think of his boyfriend.

While he sat to release the first round, he checked social media. Saw that David was texting to the store’s accounts about the products they were planning to highlight for the week.

He texted David.

_You (8:49 pm):_

‘Nice posts.’ *Winking face emoji*

_Hottie I have sex with (8:49 pm):_

*Face blowing a kiss emoji*

_You (8:49 pm):_

*Peach emoji* *Smiling face with three hearts emoji*

_Hottie I have sex with (8:49 pm):_

*Eggplant emoji*

‘Now get back to work and leave me alone.’

Patrick chuckled.

After inserting round two, he washed the equipment while he waited. Put it away and then sat again. He Googled PrEP. Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis.

He went to the CDC’s website. “A way for people who do not have HIV but are at very high risk of getting HIV to prevent HIV infection by taking a pill every day.”

Patrick scrolled through the site. He needed to take his time to fully release the fluid he’d inserted, so he read. “Studies have shown that PrEP reduces the risk of getting HIV from sex by about 99% when taken daily.”

He went to the section of the site that discussed who would be good candidates for taking PrEP. His assumptions were confirmed. “PrEP is for people without HIV who are at risk for getting the virus from sex or injection drug use.”

Patrick skimmed the section about injected drugs, knowing full well David didn’t do that. At least he didn’t now. Patrick wasn’t sure if David ever did in his past. But his past didn’t matter anymore. Or did it?

He thoroughly read the part about the risks associated with anal sex. David did not have a partner with HIV. David had not been diagnosed with an STI in the past 6 months. David consistently used a condom.

Consistently used a condom.

 _Is that what this is?_ Patrick thought as he stood, flushed, and got into the shower. Ran the hot water. _Maybe he is making a move to want to go without condoms and PrEP is what he needs to do it._

While Patrick showered, he thought about David’s decisions. Patrick would, for sure, research PrEP more later when he could really take the time to read. He would look for scientifically-sound research articles. He wanted to know the side effects. He wanted to know the benefits.

He thought about David going to therapy. After the anxiety attack he witnessed, after the conversation he had with Terri, Patrick was relieved that David said it first. Patrick hadn’t wanted to bring it up to him.

Patrick soaped his hands, cleaned himself well. Rinsed and cleaned again.

He stood under the hot water and thought about David. Thought about Cody. If their conversation had David thinking about therapy, then Patrick was glad they had it. He just wished that David could discuss those things with him.

 _If I’m patient,_ he thought to himself. _If I’m patient and don’t judge it, he’ll feel more comfortable talking about it._

 _I can be patient._ He thought.

Patient Patrick.

++++++

David sat on the bed. When Patrick went in to shower, David turned off the lights, save for the one lamp in the corner near the bed. The room had faint light streaming in from the street lamp. He played music on his phone. His “Patrick” play list. Every song was Patrick singing.

Legs crossed under himself. He scrolled through his social media. He made a post to each of the store’s social media pages. Waited while Patrick prepared for the shower. He knew Patrick would be a while.

His phone vibrated. He smiled, knowing it was Patrick.

_Mr. Brewer (8:49 pm):_

‘Nice posts.’ *Winking face emoji*

_You (8:49 pm):_

*Face blowing a kiss emoji*

_Mr. Brewer (8:49 pm):_

*Peach emoji* *Smiling face with three hearts emoji*

_You (8:49 pm):_

*Eggplant emoji*

‘Now get back to work and leave me alone.’

David smiled as he looked at the bathroom door. Knew what Patrick was doing in there. David “got pretty” all the time for Patrick. He didn’t tend to take as long as Patrick did, but that was probably because he had done it a million times. He didn’t think about it when he did it, he just did it. David had learned to be patient when it was Patrick’s turn. He was slow and meticulous. David appreciated the care Patrick took with his… duties.

David knew why Patrick had offered to bottom. Knew that they were still raw from David’s anxiety attack. Knew that Patrick was avoiding anything that would trigger a similar reaction in David. He was taking care of David. Taking care of him like he always did.

David got off the bed. He opened his black bag. Pulled out the sweater and jeans he had packed for the next day. He draped the sweater over Patrick’s desk. He wanted it to release any wrinkles it may have been holding.

He dug further into his black bag for his manicure set. He sat at the desk and trimmed his nails over the trash can. Filed them. Buffed them. Dabbed cuticle cream on each of his nails. While he rubbed in the cream, he stared at the bathroom door. The shower was running.

David was relieved that Patrick had taken the information about his decisions so well. He wasn’t sure why he was surprised by Patrick’s reaction. Patrick always supported him when it came to David making personal decisions. Always.

He put his manicure set back in his bag and thought that he might need to get out the condoms. He stood and moved to Patrick’s bedside table to check if they had a supply there. Opened it up and saw that Patrick had already unpacked his personal things. Condoms. Lube. Body milk. Massage oil.

David saw something else. A box. Pushed far back in the drawer. Plain. Blue. He knew he shouldn’t be in the drawer. It was Patrick’s private space. He sat down on the side of the bed and stared at it for a time. An internal argument about whether or not to look at the contents didn’t last long. David pulled the box out of the drawer and opened it.

A toothy grin crossed his face. “Mr. Brewer.” David whispered. “You naughty boy.”

David first eyed, then fingered the items in the box. Just a few things. Toys. Cheaper versions of a few things David had in his bag. He was amused. Happy. _Excited._ He wondered when Patrick would let him in on the contents. His cock stirred at the thought of Patrick using these items alone. In a dark room.

He tucked the box back into the drawer. Pushed it farther back where he found it.

He crawled up on the bed. Leaned back against the rails of the headboard. He stared at the bathroom door. Patrick really had come a long way from that first time. They’d talked a lot about his anxieties back then. David helped him through them. The irony wasn’t lost on David. _Look who has the anxieties now._

He shot a text to his sister to let Alexis know not to expect him home.

He scrolled through his phone. Googled “Therapists.” Was so overwhelmed with what popped up that he shut the browser and opened up a game. 

He heard the shower shut off. He stared at the bathroom door and waited. _He’s really taking his time._

He started another round of his game. He heard the bathroom door open. He quickly glanced up, then looked back at his phone. Then back up at Patrick.

David wasn’t sure what he had expected. Well, maybe he _did_ know what he expected. At Ray’s house, Patrick always came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped low around his hips. And he always looked good like that. Correction. He looked _great_ like that.

But.

_Ohm’god._

Steam poured out around him as the hot, moist air of the bathroom hit the cool dry air of the apartment.  
  
Patrick had a towel draped over his head. His hand rubbing his short hair with it. Towel-drying it.  
  
He wore nothing else.

David’s breath caught in his chest at the sight of him. His phone dropped out of his hand onto the mattress.

Patrick let the towel hang around his neck and he leaned casually against the door frame. His cock showed a hint of interest at the sexual tension in the room.

“Whatcha doin’?” Patrick asked quietly. His right hand resting against the back of his head.

David’s body responded to the visual. Responded to the low voice of his boyfriend.

“Waiting.” David said as he scooted to the end of the bed. His eyes trailed up and down Patrick’s body, taking time mid-way up to appreciate the farmer dick he loved so dearly.

Patrick remained in the doorway. His eyes on David’s face. He saw where David was looking. 

His right hand dropped and lazily grasped his cock. He stroked it Slowly. Once. Twice. Three times.

“My god you’re beautiful.” David said.

It was true. Patrick worked on his body and it showed. His thick thighs. His muscled calves. The solid shoulders that rounded down to his muscled arms. The pronounced veins in his forearm that ran down his hand as it stroked his cock. David loved Patrick’s body. Loved that Patrick took care of himself.

He couldn’t tell if Patrick was blushing, because his skin was pink from the hot shower.

David held out his arms. Made “gimme” hands at Patrick.

Patrick smiled and dropped his chin. Bashfully, looked down at the floor. He walked slowly across the room, toward David. He stopped just outside of his reach.

“Sorry that took a while.” He said quietly. Then added, “I got pretty for you, David.”

David growled and leaned forward and reached for Patrick, who willingly took the final steps to be in David’s arms.

While David sat on the bed, Patrick moved to stand between his legs.

David’s arms slid around him. His hands smoothed up and down Patrick’s back and then they settled where they loved to settle. One hand on each of Patrick’s ass cheeks.

While David pressed kisses and nuzzled his cheek against Patrick’s abdomen, his hands slowly, gently massaged Patrick’s ass. The round, firm ass Patrick worked hard to keep in shape. His cock shifting as it reacted to David.

“You smell good.” David told him. He moved his mouth lower. Brushing his lips in that space below Patrick’s belly button.

“Mmmm.” Patrick made a sound of contentment. One hand cupped the back of David’s head gently. The other hand hung at his side. He liked when David touched him. Paid attention to his body. He worked hard on his body and he liked that David appreciated it.

David sat up straight and his hands slid up Patrick’s sides, under his arms. Then his hands moved over Patrick’s chest. He tugged on one end of the towel. Tugged it until it came off of Patrick’s shoulders. He dropped it to the floor.

David’s fingers trailed down his abdomen.

Patrick jerked back a little.

“I love that spot where you’re ticklish.” David said quietly. He moved his hands once more over the same spot. Patrick jerked back. His hands captured David’s wrists and he moved David’s hands back around to hold onto Patrick’s ass again.

“You’re giving up on letting me have control already?” David teased.

He looked down at David. He lightly bit down on half his lower lip. His eyes hooded with desire.

David’s hands eased their way forward just enough to glide down Patrick’s hips to his thighs.

His hands wrapped around the back of Patrick’s thighs so far that his fingers slid between Patrick’s legs.  
  
“Like _fucking_ tree trunks.” David murmured into Patrick’s abdomen.

“Thank you.” Patrick grinned.

David chuckled as he kissed Patrick’s lower abdomen. _Their own private joke._

One of David’s arms remained wrapped around Patrick’s thigh and the other moved to hold the base of his cock. Guided it to his mouth. Where he used his tongue to lick the span of his cock from base to tip. Over. And Over. And Over again. As he looked up the length of Patrick’s body to meet his eyes.

Patrick shook his head. Closed his eyes. A slight smile on his face. _Their own private joke._

David pulled Patrick’s cock into his mouth. His hands on Patrick’s ass, pushing him forward. Patrick’s arms hung at his side. He willed himself to not touch David. Not guide David.

Patrick’s head rolled back as he melted into the feel of David’s warm mouth around him. David doing what David wanted to do to him.

David moaned. The hummm in his mouth vibrating on Patrick, in turn bringing a moan out of Patrick.

Patrick’s hand ran down David’s back and tugged his sweatshirt up. He wanted David to be naked, even if that meant removing his cock from David’s mouth to make that happen. As he tugged, David sat up. Let go of Patrick’s cock. Held his arms up as Patrick pulled the sweatshirt up over his head.

Patrick folded the shirt. Set it on the chair by the desk.

David stood. He moved his hands to unfasten his jeans and was stopped short. Patrick moved close to him and pulled him into a kiss. He leaned up to David, his hand behind David’s neck pulled him down. David opened his mouth to accommodate Patrick.

 _This man knows how to kiss_. David thought to himself. _He also does not know how to give up the lead._ David smiled into the kiss.

Patrick made sounds of contentment as David relaxed into it.

Patrick broke away from the kiss. His lips trailing down David’s neck to that spot that made tingles trail down the right side of David’s body. Patrick’s left hand wrapped around David’s waist. His right hand settled on David’s chest where he began his ritual exploration of the hair on David’s chest. Slow, gentle fingers made their way from his collarbones to his navel and then began to work open his jeans.

David moved his hands to help and was soon kicking the jeans and his black boxer-briefs off of his bare feet.

Patrick moved to pick up the jeans. “Leave them.” David said in his ear. “Leave them, Patrick.”

Patrick looked up at David. Pupils in his brown eyes beginning to dilate with desire. His fingers trailed down David’s chest again. His hand wrapped around David’s aching cock.

“Rings?” Patrick said in a low voice while he nuzzled David’s neck.

David held out his right hand. Patrick released David’s cock. He held David’s wrist with his left hand. With his right, he pulled off David’s rings. One. By. One. He reached over and set the rings on the bedside table.

“Are you ready, Mr. Brewer?” David asked.

Patrick took a step back. Put his hands on his hips. The corners of his mouth pulled back into a slight grin. “Can I ask you to change the music?”

David chuckled. He reached across the bed for his phone. “I’m sorry. I forgot I was listening to you.”

He chose a different playlist. Their playlist.[ The initial notes of _Tennessee Whiskey_](https://youtu.be/4zAThXFOy2c) caused David’s firming cock to stir. 

Patrick pulled the comforter back on the bed. Sat on the bed. Scooted further back and lay on his side. Propped up on his elbow. He watched David. His eyes trailed the length of David’s long, thin frame. Eyes stopping where they always did; the considerable length of his cock.

“Whatcha looking at, Mr. Brewer?” David asked with a smile. He joined Patrick on the bed. Also on his side, facing Patrick.

The blush on Patrick’s cheeks crawled down his neck. That neck. That spot on his neck that called David’s name.

David leaned forward and his mouth worked along the line. The vein. His lips kissed him. Tongue licked him. David’s mouth worked down to Patrick’s shoulder.

Knowing what David wanted, knowing it would get them closer to what Patrick wanted, Patrick rolled. His back to David.

David’s hand slid over Patrick’s broad, smooth, muscled back. His lips followed suit. Fingers flitting from shoulders down to his ass and then back up.

Patrick arched his back. His round ass begged for attention. David knew what he wanted.

David moved. Sat up. Patrick felt the shift in mattress and knew it was time to move. Patrick shifted himself. Up on his knees. His forearms under his head as he rested on a pillow. He offered himself to David. Was silently begging for what would happen next. Patrick’s cock now firm in anticipation.

David kissed down Patrick’s spine. One hand on each of Patrick’s ass cheeks, his thumbs moved to spread him open.

Patrick arched his back again. A nearly involuntary movement that presented to David as his silent begging. David knew he could make him ask for it. At this point could make him say nearly anything. But he also knew that Patrick had to do a lot for David in the last 48 hours and he wanted to give a gift of gratitude to Patrick by not requiring him to beg.  
  
So, David didn’t make him ask for it. Didn’t make him wait. Without hesitation, David moved his mouth in to offer Patrick the enjoyment he so richly deserved.

As David’s flat tongue licked the length of Patrick, from his balls, up his taint, to his hole, Patrick exhaled a moan that was _David’s_ reward. As David’s tongue circled him… Circled him… Circled him. Pleasing Patrick’s nerve endings. He heard the muffled noises Patrick made.

David wanted him to fully experience it. “It’s OK, Baby.” David said to him. He ran his hand up Patrick’s back and he encouraged him. “We’re finally alone. You make all the noise you want to make.”

David kissed him. Kissed him on the flesh just beside his hole. Then moved his mouth over him. Licked him again. Kissed him. His tongue circling him. Slowly teasing him. Pleasing him. Tongue circling. Breathing warm breath onto him. Tongue circling. Then he pointed his tongue at the tight bud of Patrick’s hole and entered him.

“God fucking damn it jesus christ fuck David oh god yes.” A string of words left Patrick’s mouth at a volume that rang clear as a bell around the apartment.

David smiled a toothy grin as he pressed his forehead against Patrick. He selfishly wanted to hear more, so he took his time. His tongue doing what Patrick had always descried as “Doing naughty things.” He was rewarded with Patrick’s words. Patrick’s volume. Patrick writhing. Using filthy words. Over and over again.

David knew his signs. As Patrick began to grow closer to orgasm, David pulled back. His tongue retreated. His mouth moved to kiss him on the lower back. His hands massaged the back of Patrick’s thighs.

A mournful, dissatisfied sound left Patrick, frustrated at not having release. It was soon met with a sound of relief and pleasure as David reached around him and stroked his aching cock while kissing up his back. David stroked him. Patrick’s hips rocked forward and back. Seeking contact with David’s cock.

As Patrick’s movements became more determined, David pulled back. Sat back on his knees. His ass resting on his feet. His hands massaging the back of Patrick’s thighs again.

Patrick abruptly sat up and turned around. He sat; legs crossed under himself. His pupils blown wide. His breath ragged. His cock dark and angry. Hungry for attention. Aching for release.

“You’re really fucking good at this.” Patrick said. His voice low. Shaky. He thought about begging David to not tease him. But the teasing was too delectable.

David put a hand on Patrick’s shoulder and nudged him. Patrick lay back. His head on a pillow. His eyes never left David’s. David lowered himself over Patrick. Patrick reached up and pulled him close for a kiss. Hungry lips searching for more contact. His tongue delved into David’s mouth, searching for the taste of himself there.

David tore his lips away and moved slightly to reach for the drawer. His hand felt around and retrieved a condom and the bottle of lube. He tore open the condom package so it would be ready when he needed it. He put lube on his hands and kept the bottle near.

Patrick’s legs separated to accommodate him and David’s body covered him. While his lips lightly grazed Patrick’s, he felt Patrick’s knees lift while he settled his feet flat on the mattress.

“Are you needing something Mr. Brewer.” David teased.

Patrick writhed under him. Anticipation coursing through his body. David’s lips trailing over that place on his neck, again.

“You.” Patrick whispered. “I need _you_.”

“You have me, Baby.” David whispered back.

David’s lubed fingers didn’t have to search. David knew Patrick’s body. Knew how his body fit against Patrick’s. His middle finger pressed against Patrick’s hole and asked for its entrance. Sliding in past the first, then the second ring of muscles until he was able to just reach that place where he could tease Patrick.

Patrick moaned. His hips jutted forward, asking for more touch.

David’s lips trailed down his body as his one finger slowly moved in him.

When David’s mouth began to work along the shaft of Patrick’s cock, David pulled his finger out and slid two fingers in.

David licked him. Drew the head of his leaking cock into his mouth. Pulling off of him as he tasted the salty offering of precum.

“Fuck David you feel so fucking good you’re driving me crazy.” Patrick’s words strung out in a frustrated run-on sentence.

David’s mouth pulled him in with a suction that caused Patrick to cry out to his maker. David’s two fingers scissored to stretch Patrick while his tongue did that thing on the underside of his cock that made Patrick squirm.

And then David, knowing Patrick’s signs. Hearing Patrick say his name… “David.” Knowing next he’d reach for David’s arm. David released Patrick’s cock from his mouth. Pulled his hand away from Patrick’s ass. He sat back on his knees. Sitting his ass on his feet and looked at Patrick.

Patrick’s arms were stretched out. Stretched out across the width of the bed. His palms faced down. Each hand held a fist-full of bed sheet. Patrick lifted his head. His face red. His nostril’s flared.

“What’s wrong? Babe? Why’d you stop?” Patrick asked.

David smiled at him. Slowly shook his head. “Because you’re not the one who’s in control here.”

Patrick’s head plopped back on his pillow. “David.” His voice low. Frustrated.

David moved near him. His hands rested on Patrick's knees. Then he rubbed Patrick’s thighs.

He waited. Watched Patrick’s breathing return to something close to normal.

David bent over him. His tongue worked its way over the head of Patrick’s cock. He pulled him into his mouth again.

As Patrick moved a hand to settle into the thick hair on top of David’s head, David’s fingers reentered him. Three this time. Working him open to get him ready. Patrick’s body was quick to stir. So easily aroused and wanting a release.

When David withdrew his fingers, Patrick groaned.

“Patience. Baby. Just give me a second.” David said calmly. Quietly.

He reached for the condom. Rolled it down and lubed it. He moved close to Patrick.  
  
Patrick lifted his head. “Thank you,” he whispered before he actually received his reward.

David wasted little time. No more teasing. Just a slow, gentle, determined lining up before pressing in.

David’s exhale of pleasure was accompanied by Patrick’s low moan of relief.

David moved himself over Patrick. Lowered himself on his elbows so he was close to Patrick. Kisses along his neck. On his shoulder.

Patrick’s legs spread wide, allowing for all of David to push further into him. Patrick’s hands slid down David’s back. Cupped David’s ass. Massaged his ass slowly.

“You’re so good at this, David. You’re so fucking good at this.” He whispered into David’s ear.

David’s hips began to rock faster. The rhythm of their bodies moving, the pace increasing. Making the sounds that two bodies make.

Skin against skin.

Quickened breathing.

Moans of pleasure.

Whispers of lust.

The ache of wanting to be driven to the crest of desire, but not wanting it to be over.

“God yes.” Patrick whispered.

“Mine.” David whispered.

“Yours.” Patrick’s legs tightened around him. His hands clutched at David’s back. “Always. Yours. My sweet prince.”

David moved faster. He groaned. He was trying to hold back. Wait for Patrick. He shifted so that his weight was on one arm and he slid his hand between them.

Grasping Patrick’s cock in his fist, he slid his thumb through the precum that teased at what would soon follow. His thumb worked the head of Patrick’s cock and then his fist slid down his shaft. While David’s cock pumped in him, David’s fist worked Patrick’s throbbing cock.

“David. God. Fuck.” Patrick was there again. “Yes. Oh, yes.”

And then David felt him. Felt Patrick’s muscles that hugged David’s cock. Felt his hands tightened in the flesh on David’s back. Felt Patrick’s thick, strong legs pull him into a death grip. Felt Patrick’s hot, thick cum spill over his hand, between his fingers. Felt some of it fly up to his chest. Saw his head push back into the pillow. Saw his nose flare. Saw his lips flatten and his mouth pull back. And heard the loud sound of pleasure that escaped him in pulses as his body racked with the waves of pleasure David created in him.

And watching Patrick’s orgasm started David into his. He pressed into Patrick hard and he arched his back. A quiet groan escaped his lips. His eyes squeezed shut. His head thrown back. His brow furrowed as he emptied what his body offered into the condom. Patrick’s arms and legs held on to him as the surges ran through every muscle of his body. He made little noise. But in his mind said the words. _He’s fucking mine. He’s fucking mine. HE’S. FUCKING. MINE._

++++++

David padded off to the bathroom. Relieved himself in the toilet. Washed his hands. Washed the cum out of his chest hair. He ran steaming hot water over a couple of wash cloths. He took them to Patrick. Together they cleaned him.

Patrick took the cloths to the restroom where he relieved himself while David went to the kitchen to get them water. They met. Naked. Near the couch. Smiles. Kisses. Patrick trailed David on the way to the bed.

Patrick sat on his side of the bed. Set the alarm on his phone. Monday morning would come soon enough. David turned off the lamp in the corner near his bed. Set the alarm for two hours after Patrick’s alarm.

David lay on his back. Patrick curled up at his side. Head on David’s shoulder. David’s arm around him. Patrick’s hand on David’s chest. His fingers moved slowly on David’s chest. In David’s chest hair.

Music. Their playlist still playing quietly on David’s phone.

David stared up at the ceiling. Patrick worked to keep his eyes open.

“You’re very good at that.” Patrick said. He turned his head slightly and kissed David’s chest.

“So you said.” David smiled at the ceiling. His arm around Patrick’s shoulder tightened. “You did a pretty good job letting go of control, Mr. Brewer.”

Patrick smiled into David’s chest. “I’ll open the store in the morning. You stay here and take your time.”

“Thank you. I’m going to make some calls. Try to get a doctor’s appointment.” David said.

“OK.” Patrick’s voice was heavy with drowsiness.

“You sure you’re OK if I do that?” David waited for any clue of disagreement.

“Your decision, Babe. I support you.” Patrick wrapped his arm around David’s waist and snuggled closer into him.

David rolled away from him. Turned his back to Patrick. Then wiggled back against him.

“Mmmm.” Patrick made a sound of contentment. Curled his legs up, bent his knees to snuggle behind David’s legs. His arm tight around David’s body. He was the big spoon. Just how they both liked it.

“I haven’t decided for sure if I want to go to a therapist.” David said into the darkness.

“OK.” Patrick said.

He peppered David’s shoulder with kisses.

“OK?” David asked. One hand reached back. Touched Patrick’s side.

Patrick kissed his shoulder again. Rubbed his abdomen. Pressed his palm against David’s chest.

“If you want to go, we’ll figure out where. No pressure. Decision is yours. I support you, no matter what you do, David.”

“I like your new apartment.” David said. Changing the subject.

“Mmmmm.” Patrick made the sound. Working to stay awake.

“I love you, Patrick.” David said, eyes closed. Head rested on the pillow.

“MmHmm.” Patrick made another sound. Followed by deep, slow breathing.

“Mr. Brewer?” David asked. He turned is head slightly.

Patrick snorted and jerked. He lifted his head. “Hmmm? You say something?”

David shook his head. Pulled the covers up a little higher. “No, Patrick. Just go to sleep.”

“MmKay.” Patrick mumbled. He reached up and kissed David’s ear. “I love you, Babe.” He whispered. Then he tucked back in behind a smiling David.

And they fell to sleep. Spoons. The first night of many in Patrick’s apartment.

Preparations in the air.

Doctors. Therapists.

Hidden boxes. A box of toys. A box of rings.

An empty drawer that Patrick had yet to show him.

A full bag that David had yet to allow him to discover.

A conversation that Patrick knew he had to have.

Work that David knew he had to do.

Preparations that would change their lives. Preparations that would come to fruition before they knew it.

Preparations that would change everything.

For the better.

++

End of Part 4 of 4

++


	11. Cherry Blossoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David heads out for an overnight road trip with Stevie. Patrick spends the day alone. He works at the store. He goes for a hike. He shares a special text with David. He takes his mom on a FaceTime tour of his new apartment. He talks with drunk David. And he gives David a special gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place before, during, and after Episode 5.04. 
> 
> ++
> 
> When this episode aired and they showed the scene of David and Stevie in the car, I squealed with delight. From their first road trip in LOL: Part 1, I wrote David introducing to Patrick the joy of eating red licorice as a road trip treat. Licorice and suckers are something that SO and I always indulge in when we are on a road trip (our favorite pastime). So, seeing this little thing that I'd written about come to life in the series was such a delight. 
> 
> ++
> 
> Because Patrick is so special to me, I was one of the people who was disappointed last year when 5.04 aired. Don't get me wrong. The episode was a delight. But it was missing my favorite character. I, of course, wondered about Patrick. Where was he? What was he doing? 
> 
> So, this chapter is fully dedicated to what I think Patrick may have done on that day. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.  
> ++++
> 
> As a final note. As we are all sheltering in place, social isolating, whatever word you want to use. Please take time for self care. Reach out to friends and loved ones via phone, text, email, video. You are not alone. Be gentle with yourself. If you are an essential service provider - in whatever form that takes - please know we all appreciate the work you do. Be safe. Thank you. 
> 
> -PD 
> 
> ++++

++++++

“You got everything you need?” Patrick put David’s suitcase in Stevie’s trunk. Shut it soundly. Stood in the street with his hands on his hips. His eyes roaming over David who wore a sweatshirt that Patrick hadn’t yet seen. The lightning bolts made Patrick Smile.

David pressed his lips together. Nodded. “Yes. Triple checked.”

Patrick looked up at David, who stood several inches above him on the curb. He didn’t ever like it when they were going to be in two different towns overnight. And this time was no different. It didn’t happen often. Last time it happened was when Patrick had to go to a conference and was gone for a few days in the middle of the week.

This time, they’d only be apart for just a night. They spent nights apart all the time. David at the motel, Patrick at home.

 _It’s just one night._ He chastised himself. _Just one weekend night._

So, why did it feel like he was saying goodbye to David for longer than that? It felt ridiculous to him that he should feel that way.

He stepped up onto the curb and David reached for him. Wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him in.

Patrick naturally pressed his lips to David’s neck. His arms holding David snugly around the waist.

Stevie, who had gone into the store to use the restroom, stepped onto the sidewalk beside them. “OK, you guys. It’s just one night,” she said dryly.

David, arms still wrapped securely around Patrick’s shoulders, turned his head to the side to look at her. “Give us a minute, would you?” He immediately returned his cheek to rest against Patrick’s. Held him tightly.

“We’re only going to _Elm Valley_.” Stevie mumbled as she walked to the car.

David whispered to Patrick, “I’m going to miss you tonight, Mr. Brewer.”

“Same.” Patrick whispered in his ear. “I feel silly at how sad I am that you’re leaving.” A small chuckle escaped him.

“You’ll enjoy the solitude. Write some music or read on your book.” David whispered. He kissed him on the cheek.

“You’ll enjoy the road trip and the cherry blossoms. And time with Stevie.” Patrick patted David’s ass while they hugged.

David pulled back just far enough so that he could kiss Patrick soundly on the lips. “OK. I have to go.” Then he pulled Patrick in again. Tightly holding him. His arms around Patrick’s shoulders.

Patrick loosened his hold on him. Moved his hands to rest on David’s waist and pushed him gently to break the hold. “It’s time for you to go. Stevie’s losing patience.”

“M’Kay.” David rolled his eyes.

“I have to get something for you. Don’t leave yet.” Patrick left him and went inside.

David opened the door to Stevie’s car. Put his black bag on the floor in front of his seat.

“Ready?” Stevie asked.

“Almost. Patrick’s getting something.” David told her.

“Jesus.” Stevie rolled her eyes.

Patrick stepped out onto the sidewalk. Brown bag in hand. “Just a few road-trip staples.” He handed the bag to David.

David peered in and saw the bag of red licorice, suckers, and bottles of water. He cocked his head to the side as he looked at Patrick.

“Wouldn’t be a road trip without your favorites.” Patrick shoved his hands into his pockets.

David’s mouth pulled over to the side in his little grin of satisfaction. “Thank you, Mr. Brewer.”

“Go. Have a good time.” Patrick turned David’s body physically to make him head toward the car.

David got in. Pulled on the shoulder strap and snapped the seat belt.

Patrick leaned into the car. “Enjoy the blossoms, you two.”

Stevie pressed her lips together. Nodded her head but said nothing.

David reached up and tugged on Patrick’s shirt, his hands slid between the buttons as he tugged. The back of his fingers grazed Patrick’s skin.

Patrick leaned down. David kissed him soundly on the lips. “Thanks for taking care of the store today.”

“Be safe.” Patrick patted David’s chest.

“Have fun on your hike.” David said. He pulled him in for another kiss.

“Remember I won’t have phone service when I’m up there.” Patrick said. His hand rubbed David’s chest.

“That’s all right. Just be careful. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt up there.” David patted his cheek.

“OK. Are we done here?” Stevie moaned.

“Text me when you’re home safe.” David said. He pushed his hand against Patrick’s chest. Pushed him away.

“Text me when you get there safely.” Patrick pulled back, shut the door soundly.

Stevie wasted no time. The moment the door was shut she put the car in gear.

Patrick held up a hand and waved to him as Stevie drove away.

++++++

The store was relatively quiet for a Saturday. Patrick used the time to gather the online orders and pack them for Monday’s shipment. He had a few customers come in. Nothing so crazy that he needed David. But he knew if David were there, he would have talked them into buying more things.

He stocked the shelves. He cleaned the floors. He went into the restroom to clean it and saw that the tile had fallen to the floor again. He didn’t make an attempt to fix it. He picked up the tile and took it to the office. Set it on the desk.

David’s words rang in his ears. _Maybe it’s time to call in a professional, Patrick_.

++++++

When the clock hit noon, he closed the store and quickly ran the receipts on the register. Put everything in the safe. Headed to his apartment to change.

He made a sandwich and ate it while he walked through the apartment. Took off his button up shirt and pulled on a t-shirt and a sweatshirt. He kept his jeans on. He kicked off the shoes he was wearing and sat to tie his hiking shoes. He gathered his things and headed out of the apartment.

++++++

He parked the car at the base of the trail. Pulled out the case that held his guitar. Strapped it on his back. Looped his cross-body bag over his shoulder. Settled his _Rose Apothecary_ hat on his head.

He walked the start of the trail that he’d hiked dozens of times over the months. He expertly avoided the patches of poison ivy that grew on the side of the trail. He ducked under tree branches that hung down low. He stopped a time or two to take a picture. A squirrel. Various birds.

He took a selfie with the lush greenery behind him. While he still had reception on his phone, he texted David.

_You (1:11 pm):_

*Patrick sent a selfie of himself at the start of the hiking trail*

‘Starting the hike. Phone will lose service in a bit.’

_Hottie I have sex with (1:11 pm):_

‘We’re nearly there and I’ve learned that this whole thing was a ruse.’

‘Patrick if I don’t get to see cherry these blossoms, so help me. Heads will roll.’

_You (1:11 pm):_

‘Losing reception. Want me to turn back so I can call you?’

‘Or can you wait a few hours to tell me about this national emergency?’

_Hottie I have sex with (1:12 pm):_

‘I’m a pawn in her game to try to see this guy she had the dirty motel sex with.’

‘Go hike. We’ll talk tonight.’

‘Be careful.’ *Person climbing emoji* *Red heart emoji*

_You (1:12 pm):_

‘David. That’s a person scaling a mountain. Not hiking. You realize I’m just walking on a trail. Right?’

_Hottie I have sex with (1:12 pm):_

‘How am I supposed to know what you do out there?’ *Person shrugging emoji*

_You (1:12 pm):_

‘You could come with me sometime.’ *Side eye emoji*

_Hottie I have sex with (1:12 pm):_

‘That will likely never happen.’

‘Let’s just keep this little pastime of yours a mystery.’ *Red heart emoji*

_You (1:12 pm):_

‘I’m putting my phone away now.’

*Person waving emoji*

_Hottie I have sex with (1:13 pm):_

*Face blowing a kiss emoji*

He put his phone deep into his pocket and began the ascent to his destination.

When he reached the crest of the hill, the end of the trail, he stopped and looked. As it always did, the view mesmerized him. The trees under him. The blue sky and fluffy white clouds above. He felt like he looked over the world.

He slid his arms out of the straps of his guitar case. He pulled off the cross-body bag. And put them both on the rock near where he stood. He was warm from the hike. He pulled off the sweatshirt he wore over his t-shirt. He balled the sweatshirt up and tucked it into his bag.

For the first time in a long time, he wasn’t in a hurry to get back. He could spend all afternoon there. Time to spend like he had before they were a couple. When he was first in town, first getting to know David. He used to go there and spend hours. Just thinking.

Over the last six months or so, he visited the space less often. And when he did, he spent fewer hours there. Sometimes making the hike up just to take a look and head back down. He didn’t linger, because he was always anxious to get back to David. His thinking time was delegated to the hike itself.

On this day, he was in no hurry.

He sat for a while just looking at the view. He needed it to work its magic. It had never failed to calm him. All the times he had hiked the trail in the days before he and David were together. Each time they were arguing and he needed to get away to think. Every time. It calmed his spirit.

And in that moment, Patrick’s spirit needed calmed.

Patrick had been stewing. Over the week since his dad’s visit, he struggled with not being out to his parents. He felt guilty that David didn’t know the truth about the situation. Struggled because he could tell that David knew something was wrong, but he didn’t know what. 

He sat on the rock, overlooking the beautiful view and thought about his parents. Thought about how they’d reacted each time he told them about a break-up with Rachel. Each time he told them that he and Rachel were getting back together. For the most part, they accepted it all. But he always felt like he disappointed them in one way or another.

And he couldn’t be sure about this situation. Couldn’t be sure they’d not be disappointed. But no matter how they might respond, there was no way around it. He needed to tell them. He loved David. And surely, once they got to know him, they’d love him, too. _Right?_

He sat there. Elbows on his knees. He ran his hands over his face. Sighed. Closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh air. With each exhale, Patrick tried to release his stress.

He reached for his guitar and tuned it. He fingers began the movement over the strings. It was a comfort to him. Playing it soothed him. He didn’t have to think. His fingers just knew how to move on the strings to bring out the sounds of the songs he knew so well.

He played them. One after the other. Songs that made him think of David. Songs he’d sung for David over the course of the year. He sang softly to himself as he looked over the treetops below him.

_[Into the Mystic](https://youtu.be/syIUmrSJWAU) _

_[Collide](https://youtu.be/Yk9G7OyKwLM) _

_[I Won’t Give Up](https://youtu.be/0cNhpIzUreI) _

_[Need You Now](https://youtu.be/dp_vB2tk1kc) _

_[Unbreakable](https://youtu.be/kUrwRQPacDQ) _

_[You are The Reason](https://youtu.be/207X6DTY4LY) _

_[The Best](https://youtu.be/MsRUnInJ4CQ) _

He paused, now and then. Between songs. Mid-song. To think about David. Think about their relationship. Think about what they were going through when Patrick recorded himself singing each song for David.

Here they were – in this very tender time after an argument that was, as Patrick described it, “Pretty big,” and as David described it, “Earth shattering.” Which is to say, they were both left shaken. As arguments before had left them. But, as Patrick thought through it, he acknowledged that they were getting better at navigating and coming out of the difficulty of such days.

Their arguments had been few over the months. But the few arguments they did have were significant. They seemed to do better talking through them without putting long periods of time between the argument and the mending.

And as always, in the days after the arguments, David and Patrick were careful. They were selective in their choices of words. They touched each other gently. Spent quiet time around each other. Offered lots of sweet, tender kisses. They were patient.

Patrick played the last song again. When he finished, he shut his eyes. Remembered David’s face. How his eyes glimmered. How his face softened. How they looked at each other knowingly across the Apothecary that night. The night of the first Open Mic night when Patrick looked him in the eyes and sang the words that helped him overcome anxiety his first time with David. _In your heart I see the start of every night and every day – In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away._

Patrick put his guitar in its case and pulled a water out of his bag. He sat and looked out over the view. He thought about how he might tell David that he hadn’t yet come out to his parents.

 _If I’m not going to tell them soon, I owe it to David to tell him that they don’t know_. He thought.

He imagined how David’s face would react as he heard the words.

 _David. I haven’t told my parent’s yet._ He would tell him.

 _Tell them what?_ David would be clueless. His brow would furrow.

 _I haven’t told them that we’re in a relationship._ Patrick might say.

Or.

 _I haven’t told them that I’m gay_. Patrick thought that might sound better.

No.

 _I haven’t told them how serious we are._ Patrick eased back from the full truth.

The statement was still truthful. His parents _didn’t_ know how serious he was with David. Patrick was more comfortable easing back from the full truth. The full truth would upset David. Cause him to spiral. Make him think that Patrick wasn’t proud of their relationship. Proud of David.

And Patrick _was_ proud of him. Proud of _them_. Proud of their relationship and everything it stood for.

It was just… easier to… just _be out_ in Schitt’s Creek.

When Patrick first came to town, people didn’t know him. Didn’t know much about him. Made assumptions based on his mannerisms. Based on his attire. But then when he and David started dating, he never really told anyone. They just… went to dinner. Held hands as they walked through town. Kissed on the street when they parted ways. People just saw it. Accepted it. Accepted _them_.

He never had to tell anyone in town. Make an announcement. They didn’t even tell Ray. They just… were. And Ray saw. And that was that.

Sure… he’d told Rachel. That had to be done. That was hard.

But telling his parents? Telling Clint and Marcy was going to be different. And it was turning out to be nearly impossible. He was determined to tell them to their faces. In person. But, he’d taken so long. Too long.

Their relationship had progressed to a point where he was ready to ask David to marry him. With every passing day, telling his parents was going to be harder. And telling David that his _parents_ didn’t know? _Impossible_.

His mom and David texted each other. He wasn’t even sure how often they communicated anymore. He used to try to keep track of it, but there was really no telling what David sent to Patrick’s mom. What she sent to him.

He’d thought over what he wanted to tell his parents. Thought about it _hundreds of times._ He just needed to do it.

His heart began to beat in his chest. His stomach did a flip flop.

_I’m going to go tell them. I’m just going to go home. FaceTime them. Sit the two of them down. Look at them through the camera. And tell them. No more waiting._

He finished the water in his bottle. Tucked the bottle back into his bag. Zipped up his guitar case. Slid it onto his shoulders. Grabbed his cross-body bag, and quickly started back down the hiking trail. 

++++++

As he approached his car, he could tell the phone in his pocket began to pick up reception. While he put his bag and guitar in the back seat, texts came in from David. One after another. His phone vibrated with each message.

He sat down in the car and began to read.

_Hottie I have sex with (4:01 pm):_

‘I waited for as long as I could to text you. But, I can’t wait any longer.’

‘Here’s what I know.’

‘Early this week she asked me to go to Elm Valley. I asked if she had heard the cherry blossoms were in bloom. She said she had heard they were lovely.’

‘I said, I’d like to see them.’

‘She said, yeah me too.’

_Hottie I have sex with (4:28 pm):_

‘She claims she didn’t lie to me.’

‘She lied to me, Patrick.’

‘I’ve been abducted.’

‘I’m being held hostage.’

‘Right now, we are waiting in the lobby at the hotel.’

‘Waiting for the dirty motel sex guy.’

_Hottie I have sex with (4:40 pm):_

‘She says once he shows up, I can take her car and go on the tour that I booked for us.’

‘Like I’d walk around ALONE to look at the cherry blossoms - like some pervert.’

‘I’m not a fucking pervert, Patrick.’

_Hottie I have sex with (4:53 pm):_

‘OK. You and I both know I AM a pervert.’ *Shoulder shrug emoji*

*Farmer emoji* *Eggplant emoji* *Peach emoji* *Blue ball cap emoji*

‘Just not one who walks around alone under the cherry blossoms in full bloom.’

_Hottie I have sex with (4:57 pm):_

‘I did that once in Japan, you know.’

‘Walked around by myself under the cherry blossoms.’

‘People looked at me like I was a pervert.’

‘And not in a good way like you look at me when I’m being a pervert.’

*Heart eyes emoji* *Face with three hearts emoji*

Patrick chuckled. _David._ Patrick sent him a series of texts.

_You (5:13 pm):_

‘You ARE a pervert and I love you for it.’ *Face blowing a kiss emoji*

‘Of course, you don’t want to see the cherry blossoms alone. That should be a shared experience so you can talk about how beautiful they are with someone.’

‘I’m sorry you don’t get to see them.’

‘I’m glad you’re with Stevie. Maybe she feels safe with you near. She doesn’t know him that well.’

‘Let me know when you’re settled in your room.’

Patrick was surprised that David texted back immediately.

_Hottie I have sex with (5:13 pm):_

‘Just dropping my bags in the room.’

‘We waited in the hotel lobby for over two hours. I don’t think he’s coming.’

‘She must be so embarrassed.’

_You (5:13 pm):_

‘What do you two have planned since he isn’t there?’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:14 pm):_

‘Karaoke in the hotel bar.’

‘I will need lots of drinks. And food, too. I’m making her buy.’

_You (5:14 pm):_

‘Have a good time.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:14 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_You (5:14 pm):_

‘David.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:15 pm):_

‘I’m sitting on the bed.’

_You (5:15 pm):_

‘My god. I hope you did the bedbug check.’ *Bug emoji*

_Hottie I have sex with (5:15 pm):_

‘I already did.’

_You (5:15 pm):_

‘Good. OK. Go have fun. Love you.’

Patrick started his car. His phone buzzed again.

_Hottie I have sex with (5:15 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_You (5:16 pm):_

‘David.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:16 pm):_

‘I’m. Sitting. On. The. Bed.’

*Gif of Milhouse from The Simpsons wiggling his eyebrows*

Patrick smiled at his phone.

_You (5:16 pm):_

‘David.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:16 pm):_

‘Yes?’

_You (5:16 pm):_

‘Stevie’s waiting on you.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:17 pm):_

‘After all I’ve been through today for her, she can wait a little while longer.’

‘Talk dirty to me?’

_You (5:17 pm):_

‘You ARE a pervert.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:17 pm):_

‘You like it.’

_You (5:17 pm):_

‘I do.’

‘I wish I was with you right now.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:17 pm):_

‘What would you do with me if you were?’

_You (5:17 pm):_

‘Push you against the door.’

‘Hold your hands against the door.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:18 pm):_

‘Yes.’

_You (5:18 pm):_

‘Kiss you.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:18 pm):_

‘Where.’

_You (5:18 pm):_

‘By the door’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:18 pm):_

‘Patrick god’

_You (5:18 pm):_

‘Kidding. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:19 pm):_

‘Please?’

_You (5:19 pm):_

‘I’d kiss you on the lips.’

‘Your mouth would taste sweet. Like red licorice and suckers.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:19 pm):_

‘Take your time tasting me.’

_You (5:19 pm):_

‘You taste good.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:19 pm):_

‘And you’re hungry for me.’

_You (5:19 pm):_

‘Always.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:20 pm):_

‘Kiss my neck, Patrick.’

_You (5:20 pm):_

‘Feel your stubble on my lips.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:20 pm):_

‘Feel your warm breath on my neck.’

_You (5:20 pm):_

‘Slide my hand under your new sweatshirt.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:20 pm):_

‘Your fingers on my skin’

‘Would you take it slow? Or?’

Patrick shifted in his seat. His cock responding to the texts they were sharing. It began to press against the confines of his tight jeans.

_You (5:21 pm):_

‘I wouldn’t be able to wait David.’

‘I’d be too hard for you.’

‘I would have had to wait the whole drive there.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:21pm):_

‘Tell me what you’d you do if you were here’

_You (5:21 pm):_

‘I’m going to tell you.’

‘But before I do’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:21 pm):_

‘Yes?’

_You (5:21 pm):_

‘You don’t have to text me back. You can just read.’

‘Just sit back and touch yourself.’

‘I like knowing you’re touching yourself.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:22 pm):_

‘Yes Mr Brewer’

_You (5:22 pm):_

‘I like your new sweatshirt.’

‘It makes me think of the lightning bolt you wore the night you kissed me for the first time.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:22 pm):_

‘You remembered.’ *Face with three hearts emoji*

_You (5:22 pm):_

‘Of course I remember.’

‘That night. I thought you were like a bolt of lightning in my life.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:22 pm):_

‘OK. I need you to help me get off here, Patrick. Not get romantic on me.’

_You (5:23 pm):_

‘You like when I get romantic.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:23 pm):_

‘I do’

‘But right now I’m losing my hard-on.’

_You (5:23 pm):_

‘Pushed you against the door.’

‘Kissed you. My tongue tasting you.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:23 pm):_

‘That’s it. There we go, Mr. Brewer.’

_You (5:23 pm):_

‘I’m going to let go of your hands’

‘So you can unbutton my shirt.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:23 pm):_

‘yes’

‘please’

_You (5:24 pm):_

‘You unbutton my shirt. You touch my chest’

‘I’m going to take off your sweater so I can touch you.’

‘God I love your chest.’

‘Press my mouth to your chest.’

‘Kiss you on that spot on your neck’

‘your hands on my arms.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:24 pm):_

‘yes.’

_You (5:24 pm):_

‘Are you touching yourself, David?’

‘Touch yourself for me.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:24 pm):_

‘Yes.’

_You (5:25 pm):_

‘You don’t have to answer anymore.’

‘I won’t stop.’

‘promise’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:25 pm):_

‘OK.’

_You (5:25 pm):_

‘Sliding my hands over your ass.’

‘Taking your pants off.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:25 pm):_

‘Belt. P’

‘please.’

Patrick began to slowly. Deliberately type words for David to read.

_You (5:26 pm):_

‘You on the bed.’

‘I take my belt off.’

‘your hands over your head.’

‘I tie you to the bed.’

‘belt around your wrists’

‘Say it out loud, David.’

‘Call me Mr. Brewer.’

‘I hear you say it when I kiss your neck.’

‘kiss your chest.’

‘I whisper in your ear’

‘I’m going to fuck you’

‘You can hear me say it. Can’t you?’

‘I’m going to fuck you.’

‘Hold your cock, David’

‘That’s my hand there.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:26 pm):_

‘P.’

_You (5:27 pm):_

‘Taste your cum for me, David.’

‘run your thumb through it.’

‘put your thumb in your mouth’

‘suck it’

‘taste your cum’

‘That’s it’

‘You want my tongue on your cock’

‘You have to ask nice for it’

‘Say it out loud, David’

‘You want my mouth’

‘Say the words out loud’

‘Baby. Suck my cock’

‘I like when you call me baby’

Patrick adjusted himself. His pants were too tight. He cursed himself for not changing in to more comfortable pants before the hike. He looked around and saw nobody else on the trail or in the parking area. He reached into the back seat for his cross-body bag. He pulled out the sweatshirt he had tucked into it. He draped his sweatshirt over his lap. He unzipped his pants to free his uncomfortably firm cock.

_Hottie I have sex with (5:27 pm):_

‘P?.’

_You (5:27 pm):_

‘I’m here babe. I’m touching myself.’

‘god I want to fuck you right now.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:27 pm):_

‘mmm.’

_You (5:28 pm):_

‘my tongue is on you’

‘you know where you want it’

‘licking you’

‘kissing you’

‘I hear you, David.’

‘you want me to tell you where I’m licking’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:28 pm):_

‘Y’

Patrick entered the words more quickly. But paused between each send. Giving David time to read and then a second of anticipation for what words would come next.

_You (5:28 pm):_

‘I’m licking your hole, David.’

‘you want more’

‘my tongue on your hole’

‘my hand holding your cock.’

‘You’re hard’

‘I made you hard’

‘your hands are bound and you are tugging on the belt’

‘you want to touch me’

‘on my arms’

‘I’m licking your hole David’

‘Slide my tongue into you.’

‘you want your cock in my mouth’

‘but you don’t want me to stop licking you’

‘the belt is tight around your wrists’

‘but you keep tugging’

‘I want to hear you beg, David’

‘say it out loud’

‘baby suck my cock’

‘say it again’

‘I love hearing you say it’

‘baby suck my cock’

Patrick’s words came quicker. He thought of David stroking himself. Making noises. Talking to Patrick.

_You (5:29 pm):_

‘You feel my tongue on your cock’

‘I hear you’

‘I love that sound you make when you finally get what you want’

‘I’m sucking you’

‘my fingers are in you’

‘reaching in and making you crazy’

‘I can taste your cum’

‘you can’t reach me, David.’

‘you’re trying’

‘your wrists have my belt on them.’

‘it’s tight’

‘it’s holding you back’

‘Beg me.’

‘David. Beg me.’

‘say it out loud.’

‘my fingers are driving you crazy’

‘they’re not enough’

‘you want my cock’

‘you want me to fuck you.’

‘say it out loud’

‘beg me to fuck you’

‘beg me to fill you with my cock’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:30 pm):_

‘Llpkop’

Patrick smiled to himself. He could tell David was nearly there. He was randomly hitting letters that didn’t amount to anything autocorrect could fix, encouraging Patrick to continue.

_You (5:30 pm):_

‘I’m fucking you hard’

‘belt tight on your wrists’

‘you want me to touch your cock’

‘ramming you’

‘my thick cock fucking you’

‘hard’

‘I’m jacking you off’

‘tell me david’

‘tell me you belong to me’

‘say it’

‘you’re mine’

‘my cock is so far in you’

‘you want to grab my arms’

‘you can’t’

‘you belong to me David’

‘that’s my cock in your ass’

‘fucking you’

‘hard’

‘I need to taste you’

‘need you to cum’

‘tell me what you want’

‘Say it’

‘faster. You want it faster harder’

‘That’s it.’

‘You want loose so you can touch me.’

‘not letting you out of the belt until you come’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:31 pm):_

‘Ppppp’

Patrick knew he’d likely accomplished what he’d set out to do.

_You (5:31 pm):_

‘More?’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:31pm):_

‘oh my god patrick’

_You (5:31 pm):_

‘You all right?’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:32 pm):_

‘Hold please.’

Patrick smiled into his phone. Pressed his palm against the sweatshirt that covered his firm cock. Willed it to settle down. Apothecary. Inventory. That goddamned tile in the bathroom.

_Hottie I have sex with (5:34 pm):_

‘I’m back. Thank you.’

_You (5:34 pm):_

‘Was that OK?’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:34 pm):_

‘Oh. Mr. Brewer.

‘You’re getting sexting down very nicely.’

_You (5:34 pm):_

‘I’m learning.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:34 pm):_

‘You want to take a turn?’

_You (5:35 pm):_

‘Nope’

‘Maybe I’ll call you tonight and you can talk dirty to me.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:35 pm):_

‘I plan on being full on drunk tonight.’

_You (5:35 pm):_

‘All the better’

‘I love drunk David. He’s always a little flirty.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:35 pm):_

‘Let’s just do it now.’

_You (5:35 pm):_

‘No. I’m parked by this trail.’

‘don’t need anyone to think that I’m the pervert in this relationship.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:36 pm):_

‘OK’

‘I will be much nicer to Stevie now. So she thanks you.’

_You (5:36 pm):_

‘Have a good night. Enjoy yourself.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:36 pm):_

‘What are you going to do?’

_You (5:36 pm):_

‘Thought I might FaceTime my folks. Show them the apartment.’

‘turn in early.’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:36 pm):_

‘Thank you, Mr. Brewer.’

*Face blowing a kiss emoji*

‘love you’

_You (5:37 pm):_

‘Same’

*Red heart emoji*

_Hottie I have sex with (5:37 pm):_

‘FYI’

_You (5:37 pm):_

‘Yes?’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:37 pm):_

‘You’re going to need to do that to me IRL very soon’

_You (5:38 pm):_

*Winking face emoji*

++++++

Patrick sat on his couch. Took a big, deep breath. Did his best to exhale completely. Steeled himself against the nerves that had circled through his stomach, up his throat and pounded at his forehead hinting at a headache.

 _I’m going to tell them. Screw in-person. I’ll tell them face-to-face tonight_. He told himself.

His hands shook when he pressed his phone’s screen to start the FaceTime call.

When she answered, her face was bright with a smile.  
  
“Patrick! Hello, Sweet Boy.” Marcy said.

“Hi Mom.” His voice was quiet. Unsteady.

“I hope you had a good week.” She told him. Her eyes squinted a bit as she looked at her son who was not his easy-going self.

“I did. A really good week. How about you?” He asked.

“Well we finished the quilt at quilters club this afternoon so that was a big thing. Did David show you?” She asked.

Patrick smiled at his mother, who clearly had been talking to David. “No. Mom. He didn’t.”

“I sent him a picture of it this afternoon,” She said. “I thought maybe he would show you.”

“He’s in Elm Valley with Stevie today, Mom. I worked the store alone.” Patrick told her.

“Is Stevie his special friend?” His mom asked. She’d heard the name many times, but was always hesitant to ask for clarification.

Patrick’s heart beat faster. His stomach did a flip-flop.

“Well… um… Stevie is his best friend. Hey… Mom. Is Dad there? Kind of wanted to…”

“No. Honey. He and Tom are out bowling tonight. They’re in that league, you know.” She said.

Patrick exhaled. Probably louder than he should have. Frustration? Relief? He really couldn’t tell what feelings he experienced in that moment.

“When did he start bowling? Dad doesn’t bowl.” Patrick said. Not intending to, but sounding frustrated and judgmental.

“We all try new things dear. There’s nothing wrong with doing something new. Different.” Marcy told her son.

“You’re right, Mom. Sorry.” He said sheepishly.

“Why don’t you take me on a tour of your apartment.” Marcy said. Changing the subject. Distracting her son. Brewers were always good at changing the subject away from the uncomfortable. It was easier to do that than confront the difficult topics.

“Sure, Mom. Sure.” Patrick stood and took his phone with him to the front door. “Let’s start with just walking in the front door.

And Patrick opened the front door, stepped into the hall and then turned his phone around. He took his mother on a tour of the place. From the kitchen. To the restroom. As he neared the fireplace, he realized the photo of David sat there. David beside the register at the store. Framed. Looking with a smile at the camera.

Patrick turned the camera toward the floor. “Love the rug you sent me, Mom.” He said brightly while he quickly grabbed the picture of David and held it in his hand at his side.

“Here’s the fire place.” He turned his phone toward it.

“Oh! Pull back. Let me see those! Those are lovely prints.” His mom said about the framed prints David gave him.

“Thanks. Yeah. David gave me those for a housewarming gift.” He told her. As they moved away from the fireplace, Patrick reached his arm back and set the framed picture of David back on the mantle.

As they neared his bedroom area, Patrick turned the camera toward the shelving unit his mom had sent him. He grabbed the framed picture of David and Patrick that Alexis had taken at the Rose Family Christmas party. It was one of his favorites. He held the frame to his side.

He moved the phone over the space. His mom commented on the wall color. The curtains. The room arrangement.

“It is just lovely, Patrick. I’m glad you have more space than you had at Ray’s.” She told him.  
  
“Yeah. It’s good.” Patrick said. He put the frame back on the desk, face down. He walked away from the bedroom.

“But I worry about you getting lonely without a roommate.” She said.

Patrick turned the phone back to face his mother. He sat down at the kitchen table. “I’m not lonely Mom.”

“Are you sure, Hon?” She asked. She saw something on her son’s face. She knew that there was something he’d been wanting to tell her for some time. But she didn’t want to force him to talk. He was enough like his father that she knew if she waited, he would talk to her.

“Mom.” He exhaled. His voice a little shaky. “I’m so happy here.”

“I’m glad. All we want is for you to be happy.” She told her son.

“I wish Dad was home. I wanted to talk to him, too.” Patrick said. Disappointment heavy in his voice.

“I’ll tell him to give you a call.” Marcy said.

The moment had passed for Patrick. He didn’t want to tell his mom. Not without his dad there. She might need his dad. If she didn’t take it well, she’d need him.

“OK. Mom. I’ll let you go. Just wanted to check in.” Patrick said. Partly disappointed. Partly relieved.

She looked in the camera and told him, “You are loved, Patrick.”

He smiled at his mother. Sweet. Loving. Nurturing. Strong. “I love you too, Mom.”

++++++

Patrick was fresh from a long shower. He lay on the bed. Resting on his side reading his book.

His phone vibrated.

_Hottie I have sex with (11:01 pm):_

‘got somethng for u’

*David sent a video*

Patrick opened the video and played it.

David. A very _drunk_ David. Singing karaoke in a dark bar. Singing at the top of his lungs. Mostly off key. But very enthusiastically. _Wrecking Ball_.

Patrick sat up. Watched the whole video.

_You (11:04 pm):_

‘That’s really something’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:04 pm):_

‘drunk’

_You (11:04 pm):_

‘I’m shocked’

‘Are you in your room?’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:05 pm):_

‘yesss’

_You (11:05 pm):_

‘Good.’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:05 pm):_

‘ber shots’

‘lotsa ber shot’

*Cold face emoji* *Bear face emoji* *Tumbler glass emoji* *Tumbler glass emoji* *Microphone emoji* *Cocktail glass emoji* *Tropical drink emoji* *Red heart emoji*

_You (11:06 pm):_

‘That’s a lot of emojis.’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:06 pm):_

‘Dirty sex guy’

‘paid’

_You (11:06 pm):_

‘Stevie’s guy showed up?’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:06 pm):_

‘yesssss.’

‘Llllllovers’

_You (11:06 pm):_

‘Did Stevie take the video?’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:07 pm):_

‘Tammy.’

_You (11:07 pm):_

‘I see. You made a new friend.’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:07 pm):_

‘we did things’

‘sexy times’

_You (11:07 pm):_

‘Who did sexy times?’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:07 pm):_

‘you and me’

‘sexttty times’

_You (11:08 pm):_

‘We did.’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:08 pm):_

‘I sangria a lot tonight.’

‘sangria’

‘sangria’

‘sang’

‘ducking autocorrect’

‘duck’

‘fuck’

_You (11:08 pm):_

‘Did you have fun?’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:08 pm):_

*Farmer emoji* *Eggplant emoji*

‘want to suck your cocktails’

‘cocktails’

‘cock’

_You (11:08 pm):_

‘You can do that tomorrow when you get home.’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:08 pm):_

‘want to play???’

_You (11:08 pm):_

‘We can play.’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:08 pm):_

‘hungry?’

_You (11:09 pm):_

‘Hungry.’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:09 pm):_

‘toyz’

Patrick knew. Knew he must have found them. So he asked.

_You (11:09 pm):_

‘What toys?’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:09 pm):_

‘you drawwer.’

_You (11:09 pm):_

‘David have you been in my night stand?’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:10 pm):_

*GIF of an excited man nodding and saying “YES!”*

‘my bag’

_You (11:10 pm):_

‘Do you have toys in your bag?’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:10 pm):_

‘yes sexy times.’

Patrick was glad David brought it up. He was embarrassed to bring it up. He had a few things in his drawer. He imagined they were all pretty pedestrian to David. But, they were provocative to Patrick. He’d used them when he was alone.

_You (11:10 pm):_

‘You want to use toys when we’re together?’

Patrick’s hand worked its way into his shorts. His body was responding to the line of conversation, even if David was drunk off his ass.

_Hottie I have sex with (11:10 pm):_

‘I looked Im sorry pirates space sorry accident’

_You (11:11 pm):_

‘It’s OK, David.’

‘You can look at my toys.’

‘Which toy do you want to use?’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:11 pm):_

‘plus’

‘plum’

‘duck’

‘fuck’

*Electric plug emoji*

_You (11:11 pm):_

‘You want to use the butt plug?’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:11 pm):_

‘u’

‘u’ *Electric plug emoji*

Patrick felt a tug low in his abdomen. In his dick he felt that internal surge of blood. He was firm and ready for what David wanted to do.

_You (11:11 pm):_

‘You want me to use it.’

_Hottie I have sex with (11:11 pm):_

‘now’

_You (11:12 pm):_

‘Give me a minute’

‘I’m going to call you.’

‘Stay awake David. God don’t fall to sleep. Please.’

Patrick set his phone down on the bedside table and went to the restroom. He grabbed a towel. On the way back to his bed he shut out lights so that only the small lamp in the corner was on. He spread the towel out. He’d learned from experience it was all a bit of an easier clean up when he was alone to just use a towel.

He pushed off his shorts and underwear. They puddled around his feet. He pulled off his t-shirt and tossed it onto the bed to use later. He opened the drawer on his bedside table and pulled from the back of the drawer the small blue box.

His phone began to ring.

“Hi.” He grinned. He grabbed the lube. The butt plug that he’d used by himself many times. He had no idea that David knew about it.

“I wanna suck your cock.” David slurred into the phone.

“I’d like that.” Patrick told him.

Patrick settled onto the bed. His body ready after David’s texts. Responding to his drunken voice. Patrick was always turned on when drunken David began to get flirty.

“Imma use mine too.” David said.

“Tell me what you mean, David.” Patrick said. His voice low.

“Butt plug. We both have one.” David told him.

“Mmmmm.” Patrick made a noise. He briefly set his phone down while he lubed his right hand. He leaned back onto his pillow. Half sitting, half laying.

He put the phone to his ear again in time to hear David say, “You didn’t tell me.”

“I didn’t.” Patrick said. His fingers stroking his own hole. Teasing himself. “Can we talk about that later? I’m touching myself right now.”

“Me too.” David said. “My hole.”

“Me too. I’m thinking of your tongue on me.” Patrick said.

“MrBrewerIwantyou.” David slurred the words together and breathed heavily into the phone.

“Talk to me, David.” Patrick said. One finger inside of himself. In. out. In.

“You liked to be licked there. You like how bad you are when we do that.” David said.

“I do.” Patrick said. Working a second finger in. Out. In. out. In. “David are you touching yourself?”

“MmHmm.” David made a sleepy noise of affirmation into the phone.

“David. I really need you to stay awake.” Patrick said.

“I am.” He said quietly, breathily into the phone.

“David. Please don’t leave me hanging here.” Patrick said.

“I’m awake. I promise. It just… feels good.” David said. “Where are your fingers.”

“Inside me.” Patrick said.

“Show me. FaceTime.” David said.

“No. Just talk to me. Please.” Patrick said. Even in the midst of phone sex he was sensible enough to not FaceTime.

“You like my tongue in you.” David said.

“I do.” Patrick worked in a third finger. The angle more difficult. He was ready. “I’m going to put the phone down a minute.”

“Put on speaker,” David told him.

Patrick put his speaker phone on. He set the phone beside him. He lubed the plug and lined it up.

“Tell me what you’re doing.” David said.

“I’m ready to put it in.” Patrick said.

“You love my cock in you.” David told him.

“I do, Babe. So much.” Patrick slowly pressed the plug into himself. He moaned at the feel of it.

“You like it.”

“I do.” Patrick’s lubed hand grabbed hold of his cock. “David. I like being filled.”

“Patrick. Touch yourself.” David encouraged him.

“I am. God. David.” Patrick rolled his head back.

“Turns me on to know you use it when I’m not there.” David told him.

“It turns me on to know you know I’m using it. I’ve used it a lot and thought about you.” Patrick said. “Are you using yours?”

“Yes. It’s not as big as you. I like you in me. Your cock is thick.” David told him. “I like when you fuck me.”

Patrick made a sound. The pleasure was as much hearing David’s praise as it was the feeling of his own hand stroking himself.

“David.” Patrick’s breathing was heavy. “How do we use these when we’re together?”

“However you want.” David said.

“No. Babe. Explain it. Use the words. I need your voice.” Patrick stroked his hard cock. He moved to put pressure on the plug. Press it further into himself. He rocked his hips back and forth. Pressing the plug against that place that brought him so much pleasure.

“You wear yours and fuck me.” David said. “Or I wear mine and you touch yourself. I watch. I like to watch you touch yourself.”

“Fuck. David.” Patrick was more turned on than when he typically touched himself. He thought of David’s fantasy of watching Patrick touch himself while in the office.

David kept talking. “You wear yours while I suck on your cock. Whatever you want, Patrick. Whatever you want.”

“Babe. Fuck. David you make me so hard.” Patrick let David know. He used words David liked to hear.

“I use mine when I miss you. Think of you fucking me.” David said.

Patrick’s hand worked his cock. His hips rocking. So close.

David kept talking. “So many things in my bag, Patrick. So many things. They will make you come so hard.”

“Is that ribbon still in your bag, Babe?”

“MmHm.” David confirmed.

“I need it, David. I need you to spank me.” His voice was low and rough. “Tie me up and spank me.” His body was about to burst. He was so near the edge.

“Tie you to that headboard behind you and spank you until you can’t stand it.” David said. “Then I’ll lick you until you beg for my dick.”

“David.” Patrick breathing was ragged.

“In a dark room. We’re going to things, Patrick. You can choose anything from my bag. Whatever you want. We’re going to fuck in every corner of your apartment.”

Patrick felt the tug. The feeling at the base of his abdomen.

“David.”

“Tell me.” David said. “I want to hear you.”  
  
“Yes. David. … I’m.. god.. David. Fuck.” And Patrick fell. Released it all. Cum spilled up over his hand. He pressed his hips forward, rocked them back. Felt the pressure of the plug on the spot that made it all so much more intense. “Fuck. David. Fuck.”

++++++

He lay in bed. The lights off. Talking to David quietly on the phone. On his side, his phone tucked under his ear. A line of pillows in front of him that he held like he would be holding David.

“I’m glad you had a good time tonight.” Patrick told him.

“Tammy was nice.” David said. Sobering up just enough to be able to fall to sleep.

“Spend the night with me tomorrow?” Patrick asked him.

“It’s getting to be a habit spending the night with you on Sunday night. I’m supposed to be at the motel on Sundays.” Patrick could hear David’s smile as he spoke.

“Please.” Patrick asked.

“Well, when you ask nicely like that…” David teased.

Patrick blew out a little air as he chuckled quietly into the phone.

“How long have you had them, Patrick?” David asked him.

“Does it matter?” Patrick asked.

“I guess not. Maybe?” David asked.

“Well… the one … thing… I had from before. When I had trouble with....” Patrick said. Embarrassed, but trying to be honest.

“You used it with Rachel? The cock ring?” David asked.

“Yeah.” Patrick said quietly.

“We will for sure be throwing that away.” David said quickly.

“You’ve not used any of your toys with someone else?” Patrick challenged.

“Point taken.” David said. “You an keep it if you insist.”

“David?” Patrick asked into the phone.

“Hmmm?”

“I don’t want to do anything scary. Dangerous.” Patrick said honestly. Allowing himself to be vulnerable. He really was quite happy with just the two of them having sex.

“I’m not going to do anything dangerous with you.” David told him.

“You didn’t say you weren’t going to do anything scary.” Patrick said.

“That’s why we have a safe word.” David teased him.

“You ever going to let me go through your bag?” Patrick asked.

“Maybe not go through it. But you can see some things. Now that I’ve seen your little blue box of tricks.” David was thrilled about the adventures ahead of them.

“I’m getting tired.” Patrick said. He yawned into the phone.

“Stop.” David yawned in response. “You’re making me yawn.”

“Will you sleep?” Patrick asked him.

“I’m sad I didn’t get to see the blossoms. I haven’t seen real cherry blossoms for years.” David said quietly.

“Why is it so important?” Patrick asked him. “They’re just trees. Flowers.”

“I used to go to Japan... often. I love Japan, Patrick. I love it so much. The people. The food. The stores. The art.” David said. “I used to take friends. We’d take the jet. We’d get a place and stay there for weeks at a time. I just… love it.”

“You’ve not told me that before.” Patrick said. He knew David liked it. Didn’t know how much. Patrick reminded himself that David didn’t talk about the things he loved from his past very often. There was too much emotion to deal with. Too much disappointment at not being able to do those things any longer.

“The blossoms were just a way to… relive it…” David’s voice trailed off.

“David, I’m so sorry. I didn’t understand.” He said. “I’m sure Stevie didn’t understand either. Don’t be mad at her.”

“It’s OK. I’m not mad. It’s in the past. It’s fine.” David said.

“Let’s try to sleep.” Patrick said. “The sooner we sleep, the sooner it will be tomorrow. And I miss you. I want you here.”

“Then sing to me. Sing me to sleep.” David said as he often did when he was feeling melancholy.

Patrick pulled the covers up over him. Settled in. Shut his eyes. And began to sing the words he always reached for to comfort David.

_I call you when I need you and my heart’s on fire._

++++++

“David, would you go across the street and order us lunch? I’m getting hungry.” Patrick asked.

It was uncharacteristic of him to not offer to order and pick up lunch. Especially on a Monday. _Especially_ the day after a day where David was hung over most of the day.

“You feeling OK?” David asked him.

“I’m fine. Just… would you go today?” Patrick asked. He opened his wallet and offered David money.

David waved his hand at him. “Put that away.” With one hand on the door, he asked, “What do you want to eat?”

“Whatever you get.” Patrick said.

As soon as David left, Patrick locked the door and turned the sign to indicate they were closed. He quickly moved to the register to begin to balance it out for the day. He had plans.

He took the register drawer to the office and began to do the balance sheet and prepare the deposit. He moved quickly, and with it only being a half day of sales, it took no time. He secured the deposit in the safe and went to meet David who was tapping at the front door.

“You locked the door,” David said.

“Thought we’d eat lunch alone. Catch up. It was a busy morning.” Patrick said.

They sat at the little table in the office and ate. Chatted over their to-do list for the store. As they finished their meal, Patrick said, “Are you ready to go?”

David cocked his head and furrowed his brow. “Go?”

Patrick gave him one curt nod and stood. “Get your things. Let’s go.”

“Patrick?” David knew that they never closed the store early during the work week. Never left together in the middle of the day. Someone always stayed at the store. “Is something wrong?”

“We have a way to go. Think I’m going to visit the restroom. Let’s leave in 5.” Patrick said with a wink and left David standing alone in the office.

++++++

Buckled safely in Patrick’s car, Patrick reached over in front of David.  
  
“Oh. My.” David said with humor in his voice. He was all in for the adventure. Whatever it was.

Patrick pulled a small brown bag out of the glove compartment and handed it to David. Put the car in gear and drove away from the Apothecary.

David opened the bag and his face immediately showed his delight. “Red licorice? Suckers?”

Patrick nodded.

“A road trip?” David asked with delight.

Patrick nodded. “Yup.”

“Mr. Brewer. Where are you taking me?” David asked.

“We have an appointment.” Patrick said.

David’s heart sunk. _Appointment? Is he taking me to an appointment?_

“Umm… an appointment for what?” David asked hesitantly. Suddenly concerned and not as delighted as he was just moments earlier.

“I called ahead. Made sure. It’s all set.” Patrick said.

David turned in his seat to look at his boyfriend. “What’s all set. Patrick. Seriously. Tell me. I’m not sure…”

“You’re not some sort of pervert, David.” Patrick said. Half a smile on his face, he never took his eyes off the road.

“Mr. Brewer.” David said quietly. “Are we…?”

“Let’s go see some cherry blossoms.”

Patrick turned, then, to look at him. And he was rewarded. Rewarded with his favorite sight. That smile. That smile that pulls off to the side. That smile that tells Patrick that David is happy with him. Pleased.

That smile that he wanted to see on David’s face… for the rest of his life.

++


	12. Side Effects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David doesn't feel well. Patrick worries about him. Patrick texts friends. David hosts a Spa Night at the Apothecary. Patrick gets roped into taking care of Roland, Jr. Patrick finds a way to make David feel better for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +++
> 
> This chapter takes place between 5.04 and 5.05. 
> 
> *****WARNING******  
> Patrick babysits in this chapter. If you have an aversion to any idea of Patrick being good with children, turn away now and do not read this chapter.  
> *****WARNING******  
> Nausea as a side effect of medication  
> ***END OF WARNINGS***
> 
> I apologize that it has been 3 weeks since I last posted. 
> 
> I'm sending love, peace, patience, and strength to all of you. 
> 
> I do hope you are well. 
> 
> \- PD
> 
> +++

++++++

David held his phone out for their tickets to be scanned. They made their way to the concessions stand. Patrick’s hand pressed against David’s lower back as they walked.

“Popcorn, Gummy Bears, soda…what else?” He asked David.

David shook his head. “Just soda, I think.”

Patrick looked up at him. “You barely touched dinner. No snacks?” He knew David didn’t feel well. He hadn’t for several days. Patrick had hoped the movie date would perk him up.

“I’m fine.” David said quietly.

With a limp wrist, Alexis flipped her hand and smacked Patrick on the arm. “Button, you guys are next. Go.”

Patrick stepped out of the way and gestured with his hand. “Go ahead. We’re thinking.”

Alexis edged past them and made her way to the front of the concession line.

Ted stopped beside David and said, “I’m not going to buy any chocolate. Want to know why?” He held his arm up to David. “I have a few TWIX up my sleeve.” He smiled broadly and turned to join Alexis.

“My god.” David said louder than he should have. Patrick chuckled and shook his head.

Patrick grew serious, leaned close to him, and said quietly, “I’m worried about you. Do you want to go home? I’ll take you home.” His hand rubbed gentle circles at the base of David’s spine.

“No. No, no. I’m fine. Just not hungry.” David said. He waved Patrick forward.

“Maybe some hard candy? Will sucking on something help you feel better?” He asked, innocently enough.

The smirk on David’s face caused Patrick to blush.

++++++

During the movie, David lifted the chair arm that was between them and snuggled into Patrick’s warm embrace. He fought nausea and nursed the clear bubbly liquid in his cup. He had trouble concentrating on the movie and drifted to sleep a couple of times.

He was relieved when the ending credits rolled.

Patrick was well aware that David did not offer up one snarky comment to his sister. The siblings did not bicker one time on the way home.

While Alexis and Ted canoodled in the back seat, Patrick asked David, “Where do you want to sleep tonight?”

“I think in my own bed. Is that OK?” David asked him. His voice giving away the weariness he felt. 

“Of course, Babe.” Patrick patted David’s leg.

David reached for his hand. Their fingers lightly intertwined. Patrick’s thumb brushed back and forth in the palm of David’s hand. 

David turned his head, rested it against the cool car window. Fought the nausea that rose again from his stomach.

++++++

David walked into a very busy Apothecary. It was nearly mid-day and Patrick had clearly experienced a busy and hectic morning.

Patrick was at the register checking out what looked to be a line of three people and David spotted several others in the store. He quickly dropped his bag just inside the office and went to work.

When he could step away from the register, Patrick moved through the store to see if any of the customers needed help and then he made his way to David who was on his knees digging through the stack of alpaca blankets in order to find one just the right shade of grey for the woman he was helping.

“David, want me to do that?” Patrick asked.  
  
Patrick had kept his eye on David from the moment he walked into the store, and it was clear to him David was not feeling well.

He shook his head and told Patrick, “We’re good here. Thanks.”

Patrick nodded his head once and smiled at the woman David was helping, and then moved on to help someone else. He knew better than to question David in front of a customer. Knew better than to draw attention to David not feeling well in the presence of others.

It was well after 1:00 when the store finally died down. Patrick was starving and declared it.

“Why don’t you go get yourself something to eat. I’ll stay here in case more customers come in.” David waved his hand toward the door.

“Sure. What do you want?” Patrick asked him.

“Not hungry. Just take care of yourself.” David said over his shoulder. He was refolding the alpaca throws that had become a jumbled mess. A small price to pay for selling two.

Patrick stopped in his tracks. “David. You have to eat. You’ve not been eating all week. You need something. Want some soup? Some toast?”

David stood. Brushed off his knees.

“Patrick. Nothing…” David looked at Patrick’s face and knew that he would not win this argument. “OK. Hot tea. Maybe some crackers.”

Patrick stood. Hands on his waist.

“Broth… if she has some.” David added. Knowing full well even if Twyla had some broth, he’d not drink it.

++++++

“You sure you want to stay here? I can take you home.” Patrick told him. He turned off the tv.

David stood and folded Grandma’s quilt. Draped it over the chair by the fireplace. “I’m sure. I’ve missed you. I want to sleep in your arms.”

Patrick pressed his lips together and nodded his head. He watched David go into the bathroom and took notice when David spent only a few moments behind the closed door. No doubt not making himself pretty.

After David was settled into bed, Patrick checked the lock on the door. Shut out all the lights. Joined David.  
  
He lay on his back. One arm behind his head. The other opened so that David could cuddle under it.

David’s head rested on his shoulder. David’s hand resting on Patrick’s chest.

Patrick felt his body respond as it always did when David was in his arms. He willed himself to not think about sex. David hadn’t felt well.

 _Forget about it. Think of something else_. Patrick told himself.

While David drifted to sleep, Patrick rearranged the back-storage room in his mind. He thought about how he was going to fix the tile in the restroom. He thought about the damn medication that David had not yet told him he was taking.

++++++

It was a typical Thursday afternoon. They were busy. David worked the floor; Patrick worked the register.

Jocelyn was looking at the baby products. David approached her. “Hi, Jocelyn. Are you finding what you need?” He was feeling pretty good.

He and Stevie had smoked a little pot the night before and it alleviated his nausea. He’d only gotten sick once that morning and by afternoon the queasiness was mostly gone.

“Just gettin’ some baby wash.” She said. She held up a bottle to show him.

David smiled and nodded his head approvingly.

“Umm... Jocelyn? I didn’t see your name on the list of participants for our Spa Night tonight. You normally sign up for those. Tonight, we’re doing _hands_.” David said. He held out his hands, finger down, and bounced them a couple of times to emphasize the word.

“Oh, David. I would love to, but we don’t have a sitter for tonight and Rollie called it first – Poker night at Bob’s. So… I guess it’s my night to stay home.” She said with a disappointed tone to her voice.

“Hmmm. We’ll miss you. You’re always the life of the party.” David told her.

David’s compliment seemed to perk Jocelyn up and give her renewed energy for an alternate plan. “Let me see if I can find a sitter. Can I reserve a spot and let you know later this afternoon if I can’t make it?"

David raised his chin and shook his head quickly. “Sure.”

++++++

“Rollie.” Jocelyn whispered to Roland, who was looking at the hand cream.

“This really is good foot creme. I haven’t had that thing on my foot for a while.” Roland told her.

“Rollie.” She said more adamantly and tugged on his sleeve.

“What?” He asked.

“Spa night tonight is for hands. You like when my hands are nice and soft.” She nudged him.

“I doooo.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“I want to go. Are you sure you can’t stay home?” She asked him.

“Joss.” He half whined. “I already committed to a seat at Bob’s poker game. I can’t back out now. Besides Gwen is planning a make your own pizza bar. I don’t want to miss out on that.”

“Maybe we could find a baby sitter.” Jocelyn whispered.

“Yeah. I mean if you want to go, we need to…” Roland looked up at the register and watched Patrick talking to a woman who was holding a toddler. Patrick talked to the child. The child giggled. Patrick laughed.

“Give me the baby wash, Joss. I’m going to go pay.” Roland said quietly.

“I’ll go with you.” She said. Her hand on his back.

“No. Take the baby outside. I’ll meet you there.” Roland told her.

Jocelyn wheeled the baby stroller past the two women who were perusing the bath salts and took Roland, Jr. outside.

Roland waited patiently in line.

“Hey, Roland. How are you today?” Patrick asked him as Roland deposited his items on the counter near the register.

Roland nodded. “Good. Good.”

“What’s been keeping you busy?” Patrick made small talk with him as he pulled a Rose Apothecary cotton tote bag out from under the counter.

“Not much. Excited about tonight, though. I’m going to Bob’s. Poker night. Gwen’s making pizza. Should be fun.” Roland said. He picked up a lip balm. Turned it over in his hand. Set it back down on the counter.

Patrick rang up the baby wash. Held the hand lotion, ready to ring it up. “Sounds fun, Roland.”

“Hey. Pat. Do you have plans tonight? You busy?” Roland asked. He looked down. Picked his finger nails. Avoided eye contact.

Patrick perked up. He remembered the last time he sat at Bob’s poker table. He won a big pot of money. Enough money to take David on a weekend away. He pressed his lips together. Furrowed his brow. David could sure use a weekend away. “I don’t have any plans.” Patrick said. Enthusiasm in his voice.

“What about spa night here?” Roland asked. “Are you supposed to help David here?”

“No. No, no. David always likes to do spa night without me.” Patrick said. Excited that he was going to get an invite to sit in on the game.

“That’s great. Because me and Jocelyn were looking for someone to take care of the baby. You know… while she comes to spa night and I am at the game. So… could you watch him for us?” Roland looked up and put on the saddest face he could muster.

Patrick paused as he put the lotion in the bag. He looked up at Roland and knew he was stuck. “Oh, Roland. I don’t know that you would want me to…”

“Pat. Buddy. We wouldn’t ask just anybody. Listen. You’re the most responsible person in this town. And… we’d pay you.” He said.

Patrick shook his head. “I don’t need money, Roland.”

“Oh. OK. Well that’s really generous of you, Man!” Roland reached across the counter and patted him on the shoulder. “That’s one hell of an offer. Thank you.”

“But…” Patrick started to speak when Roland took the bag out of his hand.

“Hold on a sec… let me ask her what time.” Roland said. He opened the door of the Apothecary and called out to his wife. “Hey, Joss. Pat’s going to watch Roland, Jr. tonight. What time do we want him at the house?”

Patrick, eyes large, looked at David, hoping he’d step in and save him. David waved his hands in front of his body, indicating to Patrick that he was clearly on his own with this situation. David turned his back to them and helped the ladies with the bath salts.

“Joss says any time between 5:45 and 6:15. Don’t worry about eating. Joss has some Dorito casserole in the fridge that she made last night. You can microwave some of that. It’s really good.” Roland said. Before he stepped out of the store he said, “Thanks, Pat! You’re a life saver!”

++++++

Patrick helped David. Pushed items out of the way. Got out the soaker bowls for the people coming for the night’s activity at the Apothecary.

“What did I do?” Patrick asked. “I thought he was inviting me to play poker.”

“Patrick. We’ve been through this.” David was starting to get annoyed with him. His nausea was returning and he simply didn’t have it in himself to go through it another time. “If you want to cancel, call them and tell them that you can’t do it. Otherwise? Frankly? I don’t want to hear it for a third time.”

“David.” Patrick said. Frustrated that David wasn’t sympathizing with him.

David put his hands on his hips. “I would _never_ allow myself to be put in a situation where I had to watch that… _baby_.” David waved his hand in the direction of the door. “You should have known he was up to something. Now, either leave and head over there, or call them and tell them you can’t watch him.”

David turned and went into the restroom to be sure the hand wash and towels were by the sink.

++++++

“OK, little man,” he said. “Let’s see how you like to eat dinner.” He put the baby-sized bowl of food on the tray of the high chair.

Somehow Patrick found himself in the home of Roland and Jocelyn Schitt. He sat at the table. Little Roland sat in his high chair. Patrick had a small bowl in which he had put the baby food that Jocelyn had left out for him. Something green and something tan colored. Peas and pears, Jocelyn had told him.

Before Patrick could dip the spoon into the bowl, Roland, Jr. slapped his palm into the blobs of food and green baby food flew. Onto the baby’s face. Onto Patrick’s shirt.

“Well…that’s not good.” Patrick said.

Just then his phone rang. He stood and pulled it out of his pocket. It was his mom. She was calling on FaceTime.

He sat down, answered, and immediately saw that his parents were sitting, side-by-side, and looking into the camera.

“Hi, Mom. Dad.” Patrick said at the exact moment that the baby smacked his hand down in into the bowl again. More green baby food flew. This time, hitting Patrick’s chin. “Woah!” he said loudly with a hint of a laugh in his voice.

“Honey? What’s happening? Where are you?” Marcy Brewer asked. Confused. Concerned. Curious.

Patrick turned his phone so that his mother could see who he was with. “This is Roland, Jr.” Patrick said. “I’m babysitting him tonight.” Patrick said. “His mom is a teacher. His dad is the mayor, and he works with Mr. Rose at the motel. Havin’ a bit of trouble with him letting me feed him.”

“Oh, Honey. Take the bowl off his tray.” She coached him.

Patrick pulled the bowl away from the baby, who immediately started to cry.

Patrick turned the phone so he could see his mother. “I don’t know what to do.” He said.

“You’re there alone? Nobody is with you?” She asked him.

“Just me and the baby.” Patrick shrugged.

Marcy leaned forward and spoke calmly and slowly. “Prop your phone nearby so I can see you. That’s it. Yes. He’s crying but he’ll stop. Just put a little food on the spoon and put the spoon… yes. That’s it! See? He was just hungry. Just feed him like that.”

As soon as the spoon was in front of the baby’s mouth, he leaned forward and opened his mouth wide. Patrick put the spoon in and Roland, Jr. ate the food off it. Patrick put more food on the spoon. The baby stopped crying. He ate.

“Thanks, Mom.” Patrick stopped and smiled at the phone.

The baby began to fuss.  
  
“Don’t stop, Dear.” His mom said.

Patrick continued to feed the baby. He turned to look at his phone. “What’s up, you guys? Did you need something?” Patrick asked.

“Your mom just said you needed to talk with us so we thought we’d call. But it would seem that we’ve chosen a bad time.” His dad said. A smile on his face as he watched Patrick feed the baby.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. Thanks for calling, but I probably should take care of him.” The baby grew fussy as Patrick slowed in his duties. He put more food on the spoon and offered it to him.

“You call me back if you need any help.” Marcy told her son.

++++++

“What was that?” Clint asked her.

“It would appear he has no social life and so now he’s the town babysitter.” Marcy shook her head and chuckled. 

“It was nice of him to help them.” Clint poured a cup of coffee. Offered it to his wife.

“Reminded me of watching you take care of him at that age.” Marcy said. Eyeing her tall husband. “You were such a good dad.”

Clint sat at the table. Crossed one leg over the other. Took a long sip of his coffee. “He’d be a good dad.”

“Well, first he needs to….”

“Marse. Give him time.” Clint looked at her over his coffee cup.

“I thought maybe that’s what he wanted to tell us,” Marcy admitted.

“Maybe it is. But he needs to do it in his own time. Don’t rush him.” Clint said.

“Feels like he’s moving as slow as molasses.” She said. “I want him to find the right one. The one who deserves him.”

“Me too, Babe.” Clint nodded his head. “Me too.”

++++++

Patrick consulted “The Roland Jr. Baby Binder” and learned that Jocelyn left specific instructions on how to bathe the baby after dinner.

Patrick read through the page. Then read through the page again.

“Looks like you’re going to have your bath, Buddy. Let’s go.”

Without thinking, Patrick picked up the baby and held him close. Every drop of food that had been on the baby seemed to press against Patrick’s shirt.

In the bathroom, while he held the baby in one arm, Patrick ran water in the plastic wash basin that sat in the bathtub. He tested the water – with his elbow as specifically instructed in the binder. He wasn’t sure why he should test with his elbow, but he rolled his sleeve up and did it. There were instructions to follow and Patrick always followed instructions.

He set the baby on the bathroom counter and took off his messy clothes. “You’re going to have a bath. Get you all cleaned up.” Patrick said.

Patrick looked down at his own shirt, covered with baby food. He unbuttoned it and took it off. Set it on the counter by the bathroom sink. He untucked his white t-shirt.

The baby looked at him soberly. Patrick looked into the baby’s eyes. “You’re not going to cry. Right? You’re going to like the bath. Your mom says you like the bath.”

Patrick put the baby in his plastic basin and sat on his knees beside the bathtub. He used the tiny washcloth that Jocelyn had set out with the baby wash and did as the instructions said to do.

While he washed the baby, the baby splashed his hands in the water.

“See? You’re having fun!” Patrick talked to him.

Roland Jr. looked up at Patrick and smiled. He splashed his hands in the water again. Patrick splashed in the water after him. The baby laughed.

Patrick handed the baby a little yellow duck that sat on the side of the tub. The baby threw the duck to the end of the tub.  
  
“Oh. You’ve got a throwing arm, huh?” Patrick handed the duck back to the baby who threw it again, looked at Patrick, and then laughed.

“You got some distance on that. Good throw.” He handed the duck back. The baby threw it again, looked at Patrick. Laughed.

Patrick laughed. He tapped his fingers on the surface of the water and splashed. The baby followed suit and smacked his palm on the water. He giggled again.

Patrick finished bathing the baby. He wrapped a towel around Roland Jr. as he pulled him out of the bath water.

The baby began to fuss. “It’s cold when you get out of the bath, isn’t it? I’ll get you warm. Hold on.” Patrick told him.

He quickly took the baby to his room where Jocelyn had set out pajamas and a fresh diaper on the changing table.

Patrick laid the baby on the changing table. His towel underneath him.

He reached for the diaper and a small arc of pee flew up and nearly hit Patrick in the chest. “Oh my god.” He reacted quickly. Throwing the diaper over the baby to stop the stream from flying into the air.

“What are you doing to me, Kid?” Patrick asked the baby who responded with a laugh. “You think that’s funny?” Patrick said with a smile. He poked the baby’s belly.

Patrick used the towel to wipe the baby dry. He was not going to take him back to the bath. He put a fresh diaper on the baby. Threw away the one that had been used to douse the stream. And then he struggled to put on his onesie pajamas. 

Once finally clothed, the baby found himself deposited in his crib. Patrick quickly left the room to clean up the bathtub and to wash his hands.

While he was gone from the room, the baby started to cry. Patrick went back to the bedroom and turned to the next page in the binder.

_Give the baby his bottle._

_Rock the baby._

_Sing to the baby.  
_  
Patrick nodded his head. “I can do that.” He said.

++++++

Jocelyn helped David clean up after the spa night. She was in no hurry.

He drove her home, so he could pick up Patrick. They walked into the quiet house together.

“Shhh.” Jocelyn held up a finger to her lips even though David had not uttered a word.

David made a face at her. Held his hands up to indicate he didn’t know what she was doing.

Jocelyn waved to David to follow her. They walked through the living room. Down the hallway.

They stood outside a room. There was a night light on the wall, but other than its dim glow, the room was dark.  
  
They hear Patrick singing.

David stepped closer so he could hear the words. Figure out the song. He knew the song, but he’d never heard Patrick sing it before.

As they stood in the hallway listening, Jocelyn put her hand on David’s arm. Smiled up at him. David looked at Jocelyn then in at Patrick.

_The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky  
Are also on the faces of people going by  
I see friends shaking hands, saying how do you do  
They're really saying I love you_

David peered in the room. Patrick was in the rocking chair. The baby’s head rested against Patrick’s chest. Patrick rocked. One arm around the baby. One hand on the back of the baby’s head. His thumb moving. Soothing the baby.

_I hear babies cry; I watch them grow  
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know  
And I think to myself what a wonderful world  
  
_

Jocelyn stepped into the room. David took a step backward into the hallway. The floor creaked under his foot. Patrick looked up, surprised at the noise. He stopped singing.

Patrick smiled at Jocelyn. He stood from the rocking chair. She moved to take the baby from him.  
  
“Want me to just lay him down?” Patrick whispered.

Jocelyn nodded. “On his back.” 

Patrick laid him down in the crib. He joined Jocelyn as she left the baby’s room. His face showed surprise when he saw David in the hall.

“Where’s your shirt?” David asked him.

“Bathroom.” Patrick said. He stepped into the bathroom to retrieve his shirt.

When they were in the living room and out of earshot of the baby Jocelyn spoke. “How did it go?”

Patrick assured Jocelyn that everything went well. She had looked over the bathroom. The kitchen. The dining room. There was no indication of any troubles.

“This place is cleaner than when I leave him alone with Roland.” She told Patrick.

“That binder was a big help.” Patrick said. He put his hand on David’s lower back. “Ready to go?”

David nodded and headed toward the door.

“Patrick. Thank you so much. I appreciated having an evening free. I just don’t do that very often. I loved having spa night with the girls and David.” Jocelyn told him.

“Any time, Jocelyn.” Patrick said without thinking. He stopped. He looked at David who moved no part of his body except for one eyebrow.

++++++

Patrick, dressed in his blue plaid pajama pants and fresh t-shirt, stepped out of the bathroom after a long, hot shower. David sat on the couch flipping through a magazine. He pointed with his thumb over his shoulder. “Made you a sandwich.”

“Thanks.” Patrick poured himself a glass of milk and sat at the table to eat.

“Did you eat?” He asked David.

“Not hungry.” David said.

Patrick wanted to protest, but thought it best he stay quiet on the matter. “Mmm. It’s good. Thanks.” 

David sat facing away from Patrick with one leg crossed over the other. He turned the page. “I’m sorry I wasn’t more understanding before you went. I’m sorry you had to do that tonight."

Patrick looked at the back of David’s head. Took a bite of sandwich. Took a drink of milk.

“Honestly? Wasn’t that bad.” He took another big bite. Thought about the baby throwing the duck in the bathtub. He smiled to himself.

David did not look at him. Instead he looked forward at the fireplace. David’s foot moved back and forth as his leg dangled over his knee. “Oh? What did you do?”

“I fed him. Gave him a bath. We played with a duck. I rocked him to sleep.” Patrick said.

“Sounds like a lot of work.” David still eyed the fireplace. There was a particular brick that had a chip on its corner. David concentrated on that.

“She had an instruction manual.” Patrick told him.

David turned and sat sideways on the couch. He looked over his shoulder at his boyfriend and teased him. “Ohhhh, you love a good instruction manual.”

Patrick put his dishes in the sink. Drank some water. Met David at the bed.

David turned off the corner lamp.  
  
Patrick set the alarm on his phone. David crawled under the covers and lay on his side facing Patrick’s side of the bed.

Patrick got in bed and faced David. Leaned in to kiss him. _Hoping._ Hoping because it had been a while. Almost two weeks.

“Do you want to…?” Patrick tilted his head. Wiggled his eyebrows.

David shook his head.

“What’s wrong?” Patrick asked. Even though he knew.

“My stomach.” David said.

“Again?” Patrick asked.

David nodded.

“Come on.” He lay down on his back and held out his arm to let David cuddle up under it. Patrick wrapped a protective arm around David’s shoulder. David’s head on Patrick’s shoulder. His arm across his chest.

“Sing?” David’s fingers splayed across his chest.

Patrick knew he was going to need to work to keep his dick under control again.

“What do you want to hear?” Patrick asked him. One hand gently stroking David’s back. His other hand tugged the comforter up over them.

“Sing what you were singing tonight.” David breathed through his nose. Fighting the nausea that threatened to cause him to be ill.

[Patrick began to sing.](https://youtu.be/bo48UVaG8P0)

_I see trees of green, red roses too  
I see them bloom for me and you  
And I think to myself what a wonderful world_

_I see skies of blue and clouds of white  
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night  
And I think to myself what a wonderful world_

_The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky  
Are also on the faces of people going by  
I see friends shaking hands, saying how do you do  
They're really saying I love you_

_I hear babies cry; I watch them grow  
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know  
And I think to myself what a wonderful world  
I think to myself what a wonderful world_

While he sang, he continued to touch David gently. Tenderly. Because that is what David needed.

He stroked David’s back with one hand. The arm that rested on Patrick’s chest with the other. He sang quietly to him. Then started the song again. He sang until David’s breathing became steady. His breathing became deeper.

He sang to him until he was asleep.

++++++

Patrick knew.

David hadn’t yet told him, but he knew.

He’d read everything he could get his hands on about the medication. Knew that the side effects of it included headaches, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite. The list went on.

He was determined not to ask. Was determined to let David come to him to tell him in his own time. But it was wearing on David. It was hard to stay silent while he watched it.

At some point, Patrick wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He would need to say something.

Patrick pulled away from David and sat on the edge of the bed. He picked up his phone and texted her.

_You (10:03 pm):_

‘You got a minute?’

_Stevie Budd (10:03 pm):_

‘What’s up?’

_You (10:03 pm):_

‘You spend any time with him lately?’

_Stevie Budd (10:03 pm):_

‘Who?’

_You (10:03 pm):_

‘David.’

_Stevie Budd (10:04 pm):_

‘A little bit yesterday.’

_You (10:04 pm):_

‘Notice anything?’

_Stevie Budd (10:04 pm):_

‘He’s been sick. We smoked some pot to make him feel better.’

_You (10:04 pm):_

‘He say anything?’

_Stevie Budd (10:04 pm):_

‘I’m staying out of this.’

_You (10:05 pm):_

‘Stevie.’

_Stevie Budd (10:05 pm):_

‘He’s taking PrEP.’

_You (10:05 pm):_

‘Yeah.’

_Stevie Budd (10:05 pm):_

‘You know?’

_You (10:05 pm):_

‘Yeah.’

_Stevie Budd (10:06 pm):_

‘He tell you?’

_You (10:06 pm):_

‘Nope.’

_Stevie Budd (10:06 pm):_

‘You didn’t hear it from me.’

_You (10:06 pm):_

*Zipper mouth face emoji*

_Stevie Budd (10:06 pm):_

*Thumbs up emoji*

Patrick got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Drank a glass of water. Leaned against the kitchen counter. Feet crossed at the ankles. Arms crossed over his chest. He stood there and watched. For a long while, he watched David as he slept.

He opened up his phone.

_You (10:19 pm):_

‘Sorry to bug you. Are you awake?’

_Terri Morgan (10:19 pm):_

‘I am. She’s not.’

_You (10:19 pm):_

‘How is she feeling?’

_Terri Morgan (10:19 pm):_

‘She’s good.’

‘She’s fucking beautiful.’

‘What’s wrong, Kid?’

_You (10:19 pm):_

‘He’s been sick for almost two weeks.’

_Terri Morgan (10:19 pm):_

‘He’s taking it?’

_You (10:20 pm):_

‘Yup.’

_Terri Morgan (10:19 pm):_

‘When did he tell you?’

_You (10:20 pm):_

‘He didn’t tell me.’

_Terri Morgan (10:20 pm):_

‘Is he going to a therapist?’

_You (10:20 pm):_

‘I’m not sure I’d know if he was.’

_Terri Morgan (10:21 pm):_

‘Jesus. Do you two ever tell each other anything?’

_You (10:21 pm):_

‘I’m not in the position to judge him on the matter.’

_Terri Morgan (10:21 pm):_

‘True.’

‘What’s your game plan?’

_You (10:21 pm):_

‘I want to take care of him. Make him feel better.’

_Terri Morgan (10:22 pm):_

‘Then do that.’

_You (10:22 pm):_

‘If I ask him about a therapist’

‘And he hasn’t picked one yet?’

_Terri Morgan (10:22 pm):_

‘I can’t be his therapist, Patrick.’

_You (10:22 pm):_

‘I assumed.’

‘Can you help us find one?’

_Terri Morgan (10:22 pm):_

‘You bet.’

_You (10:23 pm):_

‘Thanks.’

‘He’s waking up. I’m gonna go.’

_Terri Morgan (10:23 pm):_

‘Later’

_You (10:23 pm):_

‘Thanks, Terri.’

*Red heart emoji*

_Terri Morgan (10:23 pm):_

*Thumbs up emoji*

‘Anytime.’

David shifted in bed and raised himself up on one elbow. “Patrick?” He said into the dark room.

“Getting a drink of water. Want some?” Patrick asked.

“Yes. Please.” David sat up.

Patrick filled a glass for him. He walked across the room and sat on the edge of the bed near him. Handed him the glass.

David whispered, “Thank you.” He sipped the water.

“I’m worried about you.” Patrick had lost count of how often he’d told him that over the past week or so.

“It’s just the side effects of the medication.” David told him. Finally admitting, in his own way, without fully telling Patrick everything.

“How long have you been taking it?” Patrick asked. His eyes moving back and forth between David’s eyes, trying like hell to get him to make eye contact.

“This is day thirteen.” David drank more water. He was thirsty. So _thirsty_.

“I read the side effects can last up to a month or longer before they subside. Sometimes they don’t get better.” Patrick cupped David’s cheek in his hand.

David’s eyes finally met his. “You read about it?”

“Of course, I did. My name’s Patrick Brewer. Have we met?” One side of Patrick’s mouth pulled back in a slight, teasing grin.

“I was just going to start it and take it and not worry you. I didn’t want you to know yet.” David said. Another sip of water.

“Why?” Patrick asked.

“In case I decide to not stay on it.” David lowered his eyes to look at the glass in his hands. “I’m not ready for you to weigh in on that decision.”

“David. I told you. It’s your body. Your choice.” Patrick meant it. “I’ll do my best to support you whatever you decide.”

“But you’re upset. I can tell.” David said. He tipped the glass back and emptied it.

“You haven’t felt good in nearly _two weeks_. _That’s_ what upsets me.” Patrick told him.

“I’m sorry.” David handed Patrick his empty glass. Pushed on his chest.

“Why on earth are you sorry?” Patrick did not read David’s clues.

David waved his hand at Patrick, “Move. I have to go...”

Patrick stood and quickly moved out of David’s way. David rushed across the room and shut the bathroom door behind him.

Patrick heard him try to be quiet as he got sick.

He sat on the couch and waited. When David finally came out of the bathroom, he sat down in the chair near the fireplace across from Patrick.

David crossed one leg over the other. Rested his hands in his lap.

He had dark circles under his eyes. He looked exhausted. He bowed his head and twisted his fingers together. He whispered, “I’m sorry, Patrick.”

Patrick leaned forward. Elbows on his knees. Head hanging below his shoulders. He looked at the rug that used to decorate the floor in the spare bedroom at his parent’s house. “David, I don’t know why you’re saying that.”

“I don’t either.” David said.

Patrick moved. He moved to kneel at David’s feet. He rested one hand on David’s knee.

Out of habit, David spread his legs to allow Patrick to move himself between them.

Patrick put one hand on each of David’s thighs. He waited until David looked at him.

“David, if you want this… if you need to take this medication for your own peace of mind? Then I’m here to help you through it. But, please… if you’ve convinced yourself that you’re doing this for me? Or, for us? Please stop.” Patrick rubbed his hands up and down David’s thighs.

David looked at him. Challenged him with his raised chin. A shake of his head. “I’m taking it for me.”

Patrick’s hands moved to David’s chest. He said with empathy and honesty, “Then I’m here to help you. Whatever you need. Whatever will help you feel better.”

David moved to touch Patrick’s arms, because his arms were one of David’s most favorite parts of him. He squeezed his forearms. He moved his hands up to his biceps. His fingers squeezed him.

“Be patient with me?” David asked him.

Patrick nodded. “I can be patient.” _Patient Patrick._

“Kiss me?” David asked. “I brushed my teeth.”

Patrick chuckled. “Come here.” He pulled David forward and kissed him gently on the lips.

David made a noise as a waft of nausea overtook him again, “Mmmrrrrrggh.” He pulled away and sat back.

Patrick leaned forward and rested his forehead on David’s abdomen. Wrapped his arms around David’s waist. His hands rubbed circles on David’s lower back.

He felt David’s muscles relax under his touch.

His arms still loosely wrapped around David, Patrick moved his head. Rested his head on David’s upper thigh. Shut his eyes. Moved his hand to slide along the other side of David. On the outside of David’s leg. Up his side. Back down his thigh. Back up his side. And down to his thigh again.

David’s hand rested on Patrick’s head. His fingers stroked through Patrick’s short hair while his other hand sat, motionless, on the arm of the chair.

As Patrick lay there, he felt David’s dick stir under his pajamas. He moved his face a fraction of an inch to nuzzle David’s crotch. He kissed him gently through the thin, black, cotton fabric that covered him.

David’s hand stilled as the rest of his body responded to Patrick.

It had been nearly two weeks since David had let Patrick touch him. He hadn’t felt well enough to reciprocate anything that Patrick had wanted to do with him. And it felt wrong to just take what Patrick offered without giving him something in return. So, David had rebuffed him at each request.

Patrick moved his hand. He cupped David’s growing erection through his pants.

David’s fingers began to move, again, in Patrick’s hair. Stroking him.

Patrick nestled against him. He breathed him in. Patrick’s own cock was growing firm at the pleasure he experienced just being near David. Knowing that David’s body was responding to him.

Patrick rubbed his cheek against the cotton fabric that lay over David’s erection. Pressed himself against David. Turned slightly and kissed him through the fabric.

David felt the heat of Patrick’s exhalation and it caused a rush of desire to spread through him.

“Patrick you don’t have to do this.” David whispered. His finger’s stilled in Patrick’s hair.

Patrick’s fingers stroked the thin fabric covering David. His face pressed into him. _God,_ he wanted him. He would take him any way he could get him. He was hungry for him.

As Patrick’s fingers caressed him, David felt a release of stress that started at his head and traveled down his body. Through his chest. Over his abdomen. Along his legs. For that moment, the nausea was gone. A sweet relief. But he knew it would be back.

“Patrick.” His fingers began to stir in Patrick’s hair again.

He didn’t look up from David’s crotch. He’d missed him. He’d missed touching him. Missed feeling David’s reaction to him. He kissed the fabric covering him. Felt David’s firmness under his lips. “Do you want me to stop? I don’t want to stop, but I will if you...”

“Patrick, it feels good. _So fucking good_.” David paused. Both of his hands now on the arms of the chair, thinking that he should stop touching Patrick. Stop encouraging Patrick. He took a deep breath and waited for the nausea to return. It didn’t. “I, um, I can’t promise I can do the same for you. I don’t feel…”

“I don’t need anything in return, David.” Patrick looked up at him with his large, soulful eyes. “Let me touch you. Please. Let me do this.” Patrick paused. “I’m hungry.” Patrick’s finger traced a line over David’s pajamas. Traced a line up his cock while he maintained eye contact with him. “David.”

David leaned his head back. Shifted downward in the seat, providing better access for his boyfriend. His hand settled back into Patrick’s hair. Gentle fingers touching him softly.

He lifted his hips slightly as Patrick tugged at his pajama pants.

David waited for the nausea to return. It did not.

Patrick’s warm hand grasped him. For the first time in weeks, he was completely relaxed. He shut his eyes. His head rolled back into the chair’s cushion.

Patrick opened his hand and lowered his head. He gently kissed the soft, velvety shaft of David’s cock. He administered tender touches. Soothing licks.

He stole glances at David, who didn’t look at him. But he knew that David was relaxed and content by the rhythmic movement of his fingers in Patrick’s hair. His fingers started at the front of Patrick’s hairline just above his forehead. They moved back, his nails lightly grazed Patrick’s scalp. As David’s hand opened over Patrick’s head, his fingers did a light little dance on the back of Patrick’s head. Then he pulled his fingers forward again, until his fingers reached the front of Patrick’s hairline. Then he’d drag his fingers back again.

The feeling mesmerized Patrick. Felt so good that his dick grew firmer with each move of David’s fingers.

 _God_ , he loved the way David touched him.

He licked David. The leaking cock in his hands. Tasted him. Licked him more.

He pulled him into his mouth. Slowly. A gentle suction. He took his time. He was in no rush.

 _God._ He’d missed touching him. Missed tasting him. Missed seeing and feeling David’s body react to his touch.

Patrick slid a hand under David’s t-shirt. His fingers sliding through the hair on David’s chest while he deliberately took his time pulling off his cock with suction and lowered his mouth over David’s cock again.

While David’s right hand continued its massage of Patrick’s scalp, his left hand settled on Patrick’s cheek. His fingers drawing a line on Patrick’s jaw, feeling it as he opened and closed his mouth around David’s cock.

The movement of David’s fingers caused Patrick to look up at him. Their eyes locked and the intensity of David’s gaze caused the breath to catch in Patrick’s chest.

Patrick paused and looked up at him. He sat up on his knees. He moved a hand to David’s cheek. The other rested on David’s thigh. “You all right?” He whispered.

“Yes.” He said so quietly, Patrick almost didn’t hear him. He only saw his perfect lips move to form the word. Saw an almost imperceptible nod of his head.

“David?”

“You make everything all right. Every time.” David whispered.

The corners of Patrick’s mouth pulled back. He lowered his head and looked up at David. That shy, flirty look of his.

David slowly shook his head. “Mine.” He whispered with a hint of a smile. He shut his eyes and rocked his head back against the chair’s cushion. Silently asking Patrick to make him feel better.

Patrick lowered himself again. His mouth unhurried, returned to his mission. His lips grazed the head of David’s cock. Tender kisses trailing down the length of him. One hand gently cupped David’s balls and soothingly massaged him.

He pulled David into his mouth. Soft suction. Taking his time. Pulling off of him to lower his mouth back over him again.

While one of Patrick’s hands held the base of David’s cock. The other hand trailed over David’s chest. His lips delivered soft kisses over the head of his cock. Down his shaft. His tongue bathed him. He brought him into his mouth again. With a bit more suction than before.

He took pleasure in the movement he felt under himself. David arching his back, causing his pelvis to tilt toward Patrick. A silent plea for more. He knew he had soothed David enough and David was at a place he wanted more.

The unhurried ministrations were over. Patrick sat up a little straighter so he could use his core muscles to help control his position over David. His right hand wrapped firmly around the base of David’s cock.

As he pulled off him, he sucked harder. He did that thing with his tongue that made David moan. _Yes. Moan for me, just like that._ Patrick’s cock ached.

David thrust toward Patrick again. Patrick took hold of David’s hand and moved it. He moved it so that David could control Patrick’s head movements. Control how fast he wanted him to move. How deep he wanted him to go.

David’s other hand quickly joined and Patrick had a hand on the back of his head and a hand on his cheek.

David was in complete control.

It had only been a few months since Patrick had felt comfortable allowing David to be in charge of the pace. He had to work to control his own gag reflex and the inherent struggle with letting go and letting David have that power. But he knew that it was something David liked and he knew, now, that David was telling him it was what he wanted.

David’s hands lightly pushed him down and Patrick went. Before long, David was pressing him forward and pulling him up. Patrick following his lead. The movements became quick. His suction stronger.

David’s hips rocked into him. Patrick kept up with the pace, and knew David was nearing the edge. He knew David’s signs. The catch in his breath. The way the muscles in his thighs twitched then tensed. The quiet, barely-audible whispering of words that flowed out of him. One after the other. “Fuck, Patrick. Yes. You’re fantastic. Oh fuck. Patrick. Fuck.”

And Patrick felt David tense under him. Felt the release. He pulled on him again. Swallowed what David offered while David’s pelvis rocked forward and his hands pushed Patrick down one more time.

As soon as he came, David’s hands released Patrick’s head. Moved to his shoulders. His arms.

He pulled off of David, knowing his cock would be sensitive. He rested his head on David’s thigh. He worked to catch his breath while David’s fingers lightly scratched the nape of his neck.

“Patrick. Thank you.” He whispered. Always appreciative of his efforts.

Patrick stayed still. Willed his own cock to settle down. But so long as David’s fingers continued to touch him like that, there on his neck, he wouldn’t settle down.

He sat up on his knees.

“Let’s go to bed.” He moved to stand. His thick, hard cock very evident under the thin material of his blue plaid pajama pants.

“Patrick.” David sounded guilty. Remorseful, as he eyed Patrick’s need.

“It’ll settle down.” Patrick offered a hand to David to help him stand.

As soon as David stood, pulling up his pajamas as he did so, he felt dizzy. He immediately sat back down.

“I’m just going to stay here.” David waved Patrick away.

“No. Come on.” Patrick pulled him back up and put an arm around him as they walked to the bed. “You have to eat something, David.”

“Not tonight.” David crawled under the covers and curled onto his side.

Patrick lay down in bed beside him.

“Spoon?” David asked. He reached his hand back for Patrick.

Patrick hesitated for only a moment. He wrapped his arm around him. Snuggled up to him.

“My god.” David said quietly. A slight grin on his exhausted face. A grin that Patrick couldn’t see.

“I’m sorry. I’m just having a little trouble calming down.” Patrick said.

“That farmer dick of yours is insistent. Let me help…” David started to turn toward him.

Patrick’s arm tightened around him. “No. Babe. It’s fine. I’m fine. Just rest.”

He meant it when he told David he didn’t need anything in return. Truly, he was happy to have been able to touch David. Taste him.

He pulled the lower half of his body away from David. He pressed his forehead against David’s back. And held him until he fell to sleep.

++++++

David woke to the movement. He lay still. He knew what it was. It was not the first time it had happened. Over the past couple of weeks, on the nights David stayed, he felt him moving. Heard the familiar sounds.

The quiet grunt. The sound of him holding his breath and then exhaling. The feel of the bed rhythmically moving. The sound of skin as he fapped.

He knew he could roll over and help him. Knew if he did, Patrick would be embarrassed. Knew that he, in that moment, wasn’t nauseated beyond belief. Knew if he rolled over, he might be.

So just as he had the handful of other nights over the last two weeks, he lay still. Listening. As Patrick reached orgasm and groaned quietly.

As the mattress shifted when he stood and left the bed.

As the sounds of the bathroom made their way across the room. Toilet flushing. Water in the sink.

As the mattress bent low under the weight of Patrick again.

As David felt Patrick settle behind him.

Until once again, Patrick was the big spoon.

++


	13. Old Fashioned High School Slumber Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David is starting to feel better, though he's more than a little anxious that Patrick is planning a housewarming party without asking him for any input. Patrick prepares for the party and the more David learns, the more uncomfortable he becomes. Before the party, David has a conversation to help calm things down. Drinking games lead to mixed feelings. When the party guests leave, David and Patrick play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place before during and after 5.05. 
> 
> ++
> 
> Given that we've all seen the episode a million times, I focused this story on what I think could have happened before and after the party. 
> 
> Basically, I saw this episode's chapter as a way to lay groundwork for things that we see in future episodes. 
> 
> ++
> 
> Be well. 
> 
> -PD
> 
> ++

++++++

“Let me help you out with those.” Patrick told the woman. He picked up the two bags full of her purchases and rounded the counter.  
  
David opened the door for them. Patrick stood back and nodded his head, indicating that she could exit ahead of him.

David’s hand touched Patrick’s lower back and slid down. He rubbed Patrick’s ass as he walked out of the door.

He stood at the front window and watched Patrick put the items in the trunk of the woman’s car. Smiled as Patrick opened the woman’s door. He shook his head and smiled as the woman touched Patrick’s shoulder before she got in.

_All the women loved Patrick._

David busied himself misting the herbs that were displayed on the ladder at the window. He kept an eye on Patrick as he talked with Darlene’s cousin who was walking by the store as Patrick was on his way back in. Patrick could make small talk with just about anyone.

Patrick jammed his hands in his pockets and nodded his head. Smiled as Darlene’s cousin talked and gesticulated with her hands.

David’s eyes trailed over his body. Soft, baby-blue sweater. Snug jeans. David was very much in agreement with the shoes Patrick had chosen to wear.

“Good day.” Patrick said when stepped back inside. He turned the sign to indicate that they were closed.

“It was.” David turned back to finish his job with the herbs. “What did Darlene’s cousin want?” David was _leery_ of her. She was just a… negative… person.

Patrick eyed David as he moved to the register to run the end of the day receipts. “Not much. Just wanted to know what time the party starts on Friday.”

“WHAT?!” David spun around; eyes wide.

Patrick chuckled as he took the drawer out of the register and headed for the office. “I’m just kidding.”

++++++

Patrick picked out the notes. Played and sang quietly. Sat on the bed. Watched David’s face. David lay, his head on a pillow at the end of the bed. Grandma’s quilt tucked up under his chin. Eyes closed.

Patrick knew he wasn’t sleeping, because his fingers were busy on Patrick’s leg. Drawing lazy circles while Patrick sang.

Patrick took note. For over a week, David seemed to be back to his normal self. The side effects of the PrEP had apparently eased for him. His appetite was back. He had been eating well and was in good spirits.

His finger inched its way up Patrick’s leg. Tucked into the hem of his shorts. Patrick’s dick responded to his touch.

Patrick smiled as he saw one of David’s eyes open and look up at him. His eyebrows raised. His lips curled into a sly smile.

Yes. Indeed. David’s appetite was back.

Patrick reached over and set his guitar beside the bed. Rested it against the wall. Then he stretched himself out on top of David.

++++++

“I ordered sandwiches from the café for the party.” Patrick told him. He lifted himself up on one elbow. Rested his head in his hand. Looked down his body at David.

David, eyes still closed and arm still draped over Patrick’s hip. “Shhh. Give me just a minute before we talk.” David moved his head a fraction of an inch and kissed Patrick’s flaccid cock.

“OK.” Patrick lowered his head. Followed the leader and gave David’s cock a little kiss. Lowered his head to the mattress and shut his eyes. Giving him some quiet time before they talked.

Happy. Content. Spent.

++++++

“What do we bring?” She asked him. She rounded the counter in the motel office and plopped down on the couch. She handed him a beer.

David shrugged, “How would I know? He won’t let me in on much of the planning. All I know is that there will be sandwiches.”

“He did have some information in the email.” Stevie said.

“Email?” David sipped on his beer. Reached over and stole a potato chip out of her bag.

She swatted at his arm. Moved the bag to the other side of her on the couch. “The email about the theme.”

“ _Theme_?” He turned and looked at her. A look of anticipation mixed with fear stretched across his face.

“O _ld Fashioned High School Slumber Party_.” She smiled and took a swig of her beer.

“ _Whhhat_?!”

++++++

“Here.” Patrick handed him a bag.

“What’s this?” David asked. He loved a good gift.

“Your outfit for the party.” Patrick said.

David held the bag in his hand and shot Patrick a look. “Am I misunderstanding the situation? Or are you picking out clothes for me?”

“I am. For the party. It’s just pajamas.” Patrick sat down at the desk to finish the end of the day paperwork.

“Pajamas.” David said. He watched Patrick. Still not moving to opening the bag.

“I decided the theme was _Old Fashioned High School Slumber Party._ It’s in the email. _”_ Patrick said seriously. He didn’t look up from his work.

“Mmmm.” David pressed his lips together and nodded.

He opened the bag and pulled out a pair of pajamas. A very conservative. Very cotton. Very white. Pair of pajamas.

“Well… these are…. _Sexy_.” He said. He shimmied his shoulders. Sarcasm dripped from his voice.

“I wanted to see what you look like in real pajamas.” Patrick said. He glanced up at David.

“Why white? They didn’t have black?”

“Just thought you’d look good in white.” Patrick smiled.

“Did you get yourself something? Or are we being treated to your flannel plaid number with the tear in the knee that you like to wear?” David sat down on the couch. Crossed one leg over the other.

“I got a pair like yours.” He added the numbers on his list. Satisfied, he tucked everything into the bank deposit bag.

“White? Are we matching at this little soirée?” David stroked the fabric of the garment he held in his hand. At least it was a decent quality of… cotton.

“The cut is the same. But a different color.” He said. He put the deposit in the safe. Moved back to the desk to tidy it. Purposefully trying to ignore David.

“Orange? Green? Dare I say… brown?” David teased.

“David.” Patrick walked over and stood in front of him.

David patted his lap. Patrick settled down on him. One knee on each side of David. Facing him. He sat down on David. His hands rested on David’s shoulders. David’s hands on Patrick’s chest.

“It’s your party. This _one time_ , I will wear what you want me to wear.” David conceded.

“I realize it’s a very conservative look for you.” Patrick teased him.

“Seriously. It’s not too late to change themes. Alexis and I once had a great party in high school. Each guest wore a unique glass-blown Venetian mask.” David told him. “Everyone talked about it for weeks.”

“David.” Patrick gripped his upper arms. Spoke plainly and clearly. “The theme is set.”

“So… everyone is coming in their pajamas?”

“That’s what I told everyone in the email.”

“The email.” David repeated. His lips twisted into a hint of a smile as he took in the serious face Patrick gave him.

“The email.” Patrick confirmed. He bent down and kissed David.

While Patrick’s lips were on his, David continued to speak. “I know you’ve ordered sandwiches. What about a cocktail? Do you have a special cocktail to fit your theme?” David struggled with the idea that he had zero control over this party. 

“I’ve got it taken care of. I don’t want you to have to do anything.” Patrick told him.

David tugged at the buttons on Patrick’s shirt. “Even though you know… you are _very well aware_ … that making _none_ of the decisions and doing _none_ of the prep work for this party causes me _great_ anxiety.”

“Even though.” Patrick nodded. He smiled. He leaned into David again. Pulled him close. Kissed him. A languid kiss. The kind that made David forget all about his anxieties. At least while the kiss was happening.

“Mmmmm.” David could be swayed with one of his kisses. His mind cleared and he lost himself. His hands tugged at Patrick’s shirt. Untucked it. Slid under it so that David’s long fingers were pressed against the warm flesh of Patrick’s back.

++++++

“This is going to be a problem.” David sat on the couch. Patrick standing in front of him.

Patrick looked down his body. He held up his arms in a shrug. “What? What are you talking about?”

David waved Patrick closer. “Come here.”

“David. I’ve got to get ready. People will be here in less than a half hour.” Patrick protested.

“Listen. No self-respecting person is going to arrive to this thing on time.” David said. He tucked his hand under Patrick’s blue pajama top and into his pants.

“David.” Patrick jumped back. Swatted David’s hands away.

“Your _big ol’ dick_ is acting like he is the guest of honor at your _ol’ fashioned slumber party_.” David told him seriously. Waving his finger in the general direction of Patrick’s crotch.

“David. It’s fine. My shirt’s long. Nobody’s going to see it.” Patrick protested.

“They are if they’re looking at it from this angle.” David reached out with his finger. He poked Patrick’s dick.

“David.” Patrick swatted his hand away.

“Patrick.” David said in a commanding voice as he stood up. He pointed at the place he’d just vacated on the couch. “Sit. Now.”

Patrick, hands on his waist, looked from David to the couch. Back to David. He sat down.

David settled on his knees on the floor in front of Patrick.

“Unbutton your top.” David said.

“David.”

“Patrick.” David sat back. His ass on his feet.

Patrick unbuttoned his shirt.

David tugged on the waist of Patrick’s pajama pants.

“David.”

David paused and looked into Patrick’s eyes. “Patrick.”

Patrick, realizing a blow job did sound like a nice way to start the evening, lifted himself up an inch or so off the couch. David tugged his pants down.

David’s hand settled around Patrick’s cock.

“Hello, Dear Friend.” He spoke directly to Patrick’s dick.

“Damnit David. Now is not the time.” Patrick said.

“You can protest and take extra time that you think is desperately needed to get ready for tonight. Or you can let me have this conversation and get it over with.” David told him.

Patrick rolled his eyes. Sighed. Dropped his hands to his side. Waited.

“Hello my favorite farmer dick.” David continued his conversation. “I just wanted to remind you that you are not being held captive tonight in a tight pair of jeans. You’re just able to relax and… _be free_ … in Patrick’s cozy pajamas. That means you might move a bit more than normal. And… I’ve observed, from time to time, when you’re given that kind of freedom, you sometimes get a little… showy.” ‘

“David.” Patrick sighed as he watched him.

David licked the length of Patrick’s thick cock. Pulled the head of it into his mouth. A little cross between a kiss and a suck. He pulled back. His hand stroked up and down on Patrick’s velvety flesh.

David continued. “Patrick’s going to be busy tonight and he’s just not going to realize what you’re doing down here. And ever since he put on these pajamas, you’ve been dancing around and asking for some attention. You can’t be doing that all night. Do you understand?”

“David. It’s fine. Nobody’s going to…”

David pulled Patrick’s cock into his mouth. Pulled him all the way in.

“Damnit, David. Fuck.” Patrick moaned. His head rolled back.

++++++

The knock at the door caused David to make a sound. He’d been resting. His head in Patrick’s lap. Patrick’s hands rubbing circles on his shoulders. Patrick _finally_ relaxed. The quiet before the party starts.

Patrick leapt off the couch. Pulling his pants up and muttering to himself.

“I’ll get it.” David said. He pulled the door open at looked at her. “I just told him no self-respecting person would show up to this thing on time.”

Stevie stood in the hall holding a bottle of wine. Her attention on her phone. She was texting. “Hey.” She said without looking up. She handed over the wine. Stepped into the apartment.

“Hi David! Happy housewarming Patrick!” David said in a sarcastically bright voice.

Stevie grunted and waved her hand as she walked, eyes still focused on her phone, to Patrick’s desk, where she sat down and stayed for the next hour.

++++++

Katie, from next door, started a round of “Never have I ever.”

The challenges came one after another. It became evident to those who knew him best, that David was drinking to virtually every scenario.

_Never have I ever gone skinny dipping._

_Never have I ever lied at a job interview._

_Never have I ever had sex with more than one person at a time._

_Never have I ever cheated in a relationship._

_Never have I ever slept with a famous person._

_Never have I ever faked an orgasm._

_Never have I ever dropped acid._

_Never have I ever sent dick pics._

David sipped his drink. Refilled it. Sipped some more. He began to realize that the group might have been trying to get him drunk. Really drunk. And, it was kind of working.

Stevie was up. “Uhhh… never have I ever called a person I’m dating a sickeningly sweet pet name.” She stared at David.

David looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

People around them drank.

Patrick looked at David. Waited for him to drink.

He did not.

“Seriously?” Stevie said dryly.

“You know my rule on pet names.” David’s steady gaze told her and the room he was serious.

Patrick’s lips became thin as he pressed them together.

“Patrick?” Stevie said to him.

Patrick shrugged. “Not us.” Who’s next?

“I am.” David grabbed the bottle. Looked at Alexis and said, “Never have I ever escaped from a Thai drug lord’s car trunk by bribing him with sex.”

Alexis made a noise of frustration. “Fuck you, David.” She tilted back her cup and then stomped into the bathroom and shut the door.

++++++

They filled the rest of the bags in silence. Then, together, they pushed the couch back into place.

“I’m going to take these down, now.” He said. He held the bags up as though Patrick might be looking at him and he needed proof of what he was doing.

“Thanks.” Patrick said quietly. His back to David as he put a stack of dishes in the sink.

He took the bags of trash downstairs. He took his time. He thought about Patrick watching Ted kiss him. Thought about what that must have been like. He had said he would have been fine with it had Ted kissed Patrick. But Patrick basically just admitted to him that he thought Ted was attractive. Admitted that he was jealous that David got to kiss Ted. He let the thought roll around in his head. 

When David returned to the apartment, Patrick was at the sink washing dishes. Plates that had held sandwiches. Bowls that had held chips.  
  
David locked the door and leaned against it. Waited for Patrick to turn around. He didn’t.

“Hey. We OK?” David asked.

Patrick continued with his chore. He didn’t acknowledge him.

David walked up behind him. Tapped on his shoulder. “Patrick?”

Patrick jumped.

“My god! Don’t sneak up on me like that.” He looked at him over his shoulder.

“I was talking to you. Didn’t you hear me?” David asked.

Patrick turned back to the sink. Rinsed the last of the dishes. Put it in the drainer.

“Where were you?” David sidled up behind him. Hands on Patrick’s waist.

“Just… thinkin’ about tonight.” Patrick shrugged.

“What part of the night?” David asked him.

“Just… David… Just the night.” Patrick pulled the drain on the sink. Rinsed the soap out of the sink. Kept his hands busy. He leaned back slightly. Leaned back into David.

David leaned forward and kissed the nape of Patrick’s neck. “You know it’s OK if you’re thinking about him.”

“David.” Patrick sighed. Wiped a towel over one of the plates. Put it in the cabinet.

David’s hands rubbed up and down Patrick’s sides. “I’m just saying. If you think he’s attractive, that’s OK. And if you think about him, from time to time, that’s not the worst thing.”

Patrick’s hands stilled on the ledge of the counter in front of him. “Why would I do that? I love you.”

“Of course, you love me. I know that.” David said. His hands moved to Patrick’s shoulders. Squeezed him. _God, I love these shoulders._

Patrick seemed lost in thought.

David waited for him to speak. He massaged Patrick’s shoulders. His back.

“Does that mean you think about other people, David? I mean, _fantasize_ about other people?” Patrick made his hands busy again. Drying a dish for far longer than it needed his attention.

“Sometimes,” David admitted.

Patrick’s eyes shut at what he was hearing. He bowed his head down. He knew it. He’d always known it. He always suspected when David wanted Patrick’s back, he was thinking of someone else. He was wanting someone else.

David knew Patrick’s body language when he saw it. “It doesn’t mean anything is wrong. Doesn’t mean I want anyone else.” 

Patrick recovered from the initial hit of David’s confession and put the last dish away. He didn’t speak. He folded the towel and draped it over the dish drainer. He turned and leaned back against the counter.

He was lost in thought. He knew. He knew that he was programmed, nearly from birth. He grew up with a certain amount of expectation around sex. Around monogamy. Grew up in the shadow of the strong, abiding heterosexual love his parents shared. It was his north star as he navigated the waters of every one of his relationships. And he knew David just had different experiences that caused him to believe differently.

He stared at the second button on David’s pajama top. David didn’t often wear buttons.

“Do you think about other people when we have sex?” Patrick asked directly, though still not making eye contact. His hands on either side of himself, on the counter beside him.

“Not usually. But, if I’m being honest, sometimes my mind wanders.” David refused to take a step back. He stood his solid ground. Refused to lie in the moment. Because he knew if Patrick were being honest, he’d have to admit to the same.

Patrick nodded.

“Do _you_ … think about other people when we have sex?” David asked the same question of him.

Patrick’s gaze lifted up to meet David’s eyes, though his head didn’t move.

“It’s OK.” David said. His hands ran up and down Patrick’s arms.

“Nobody real.” Patrick said quietly.

Upon seeing David’s face react, Patrick added, “Nobody _we know_. Nobody in our _real_ life.”

“Mmmm.” David leaned in. Kissed Patrick’s cheek. Kissed him near his ear. Whispered quietly to him, “I can think of someone in _my_ real life that you fantasized about.”

“David.” Patrick pushed gently against David’s chest. Remembered the night they watched the American Idol contestant sing a Cher tribute.

David pulled back, but refused to step back. He stood straight and tall in front of Patrick. His hand toyed with the cuff of the sleeve on Patrick’s pajamas.

“You’re allowed to, you know.” David said. “Allowed to think of that person fucking me. I know you do sometimes.”

Patrick touched the button. The second button down on David’s pajamas.

“You’re allowed to think about people _you_ know in _real life_ , too.” David said. “Doesn’t mean you’re cheating on me.”

Patrick looked up at him. “It’s inappropriate. It’s not right. It’s disrespectful… to Alexis…” His voice trailed off.

“What Alexis doesn’t know doesn’t hurt her. Do you know how many hot boyfriends she’s had that I’ve thought about while masturbating?” David tried to make light of the situation.

“David.” Patrick smiled.

“And don’t think she hasn’t thought about you… at least in the early days.” David teased him.

“David! God! No!” Patrick protested. Chuckled. Blushed.

David’s hand back on Patrick’s shoulders rubbed him. Squeezed him. “You know how much I love your shoulders, right?”

Patrick nodded.

“How sometimes I just want to spend time with them because they turn me on?” David continued. “They’re strong and solid and just… really fucking sexy.”

Patrick looked up at him. The blush crawling up his cheeks. His mouth showed the tiniest hint of a smile.

David leaned his forehead against Patrick’s. He spoke softly. “What would you say if, given that you know how much I love your shoulders, I said… Ted has _really nice_ shoulders.”

Patrick pressed his palms against David’s chest. Turned his head into David’s neck. Kissed him there. Trailed tiny kisses along his jaw. Whispered in David’s ear. “I’d say… he… he also has a nice chest.”

David’s body instantly reacted to Patrick’s words. A chill ran down his right side. He smiled, knowing Patrick couldn’t see his face.

“MmHmm. He does.” David said quietly.

Patrick kept his face buried in David’s neck. As David pressed closer to him, Patrick’s hands moved to David’s sides. Around to David’s back. Pulling him closer.

“His back. He… he looked good in that tank top.” Patrick whispered.

“And boxers. He has a nice ass.” David said. His hands dropping to Patrick’s round ass. Squeezing him. “You’re right. He works out.”

Patrick’s hands reached under David’s pajama top. His fingers pressed against the skin of his lower back.

David tilted his head as Patrick tucked into him. That space between his shoulder and his neck. Hid his face. Breathed David’s sent. His fingers danced across the skin on David’s back. David held him tightly.

“It’s OK to think about him. It’s OK to wonder what it’s like to touch him.” David whispered.

“Wonder… I wonder… what…” Patrick couldn’t bring himself to say what he was thinking. He pressed his forehead against David’s shoulder. Slid his hand to the front of David’s pajamas. Cupped his more-than-interested cock in his hand.

“His dick?” David asked.

“Yeah.” Patrick said quietly while he turned to kiss David’s neck again. Squeezed David’s cock.

“He’s cut. Average, I’d say.” David said.

Patrick reacted quickly. Pressed both hands against David’s chest. Pushed him. “What the hell, David!” He moved away from the kitchen. Walked toward the couch. Angry.

“What?” David held his hands up in a shrug.

“I asked you a _long time ago_.” Patrick waved a hand beside himself indicating a discussion they had months prior. “You _assured me_ that you _never_ had sex with him. Did you _lie_ to me?”

Patrick paced the floor in front of the fire place. Hands on his waist. Head down.

“I didn’t!” David protested.

“Are you doing that thing where you skirt around the truth on a technicality? Oral sex is sex, David. Did you blow him?” Patrick asked.

“No. I’m telling you, I didn’t!” David told him.

Patrick continued to move. “What, then? You just… _saw_ his dick? Without having sex?”

“Uh. Yeah! Like the whole town and most of the county did!” David walked over to the couch. Sat down.

Patrick stopped pacing. Looked at David. Waited.

David rolled his eyes. “On the webcam that Alexis set up. It was supposed to be a way to increase his business. People were supposed to log in to see the baby rabbits. Ted came in after a workout and stripped down. It. Was. Hilarious…. And really kind of hot.”

“Oh.” Patrick felt foolish for overreacting. He shook his head.

“Come on.” David patted the couch cushion beside him.

Patrick shook his head. “Nah. I’m gonna go brush my teeth. Get ready for bed.” Without hesitating, Patrick went into the bathroom. Shut the door behind him.

He stood at the sink. Stared at himself in the mirror. Chastised himself for exploding at David. Scolded himself because he knew he overreacted because of a half dozen reasons that had nothing to do with Ted kissing David.

He brushed his teeth. Thought about the night. Thought about Ted kissing David. Pictured it in his mind.

He acknowledged to himself he was not that angry. He was jealous. He was turned on. He was curious. If he were being honest, he would admit that he wished the bottle would have landed on him.

He looked into the mirror at himself. His dick responded as he thought about what had just transpired in the kitchen when they talked about Ted.

Patrick opened the bathroom door. Leaned against the door frame.

David hadn’t moved from the couch. He looked up at Patrick. Patrick stayed in the doorway.

David stood. Set his phone on the fireplace mantle. Took the few steps to the bathroom. Waited. “I need to get in there.” He moved to edge past Patrick.

Patrick grabbed David’s wrist and tugged him back.

“Oh!” a surprised sound came out of David. He turned. His eyes met Patrick’s.

Patrick dug deep and let his thoughts out. “Part of me wanted to see you open your mouth to him, like you do me. See him tongue-fuck your mouth.”

David’s eyes widened in shock. His lips pressed into a sly grin. His heartbeat quickened.

“Show me.” He challenged.

In a low, husky voice, Patrick murmured, “Come here, Big Guy.” He reached up and pulled David down to him.

David willingly opened his mouth and Patrick’s tongue plunged in. With Patrick’s hand on the back of his head pulling him down, he had but one choice and that was to let Patrick do what he wanted. David was pliable in his arms.

David moaned in pleasure. His hands pressed against Patrick’s chest. Patrick’s strong arm held him close.

Patrick took a step forward and David’s back hit the door frame. Patrick pressed him harder into it. His tongue, lips, teeth rough and commanding against David’s compliance. Taking David the way he knew he liked it.

When Patrick released him, David’s eyes remained closed. He leaned against the door frame. His mouth still partly open. His lips slightly swollen. His breathing labored.

Patrick watched him. Waited in silence.

David opened his eyes. A slight curl to his lips.

Hands on Patrick’s shoulders, he maneuvered Patrick. Patrick walking backward, toward the couch.

When the back of Patrick’s legs reached the couch, David pushed down on his shoulders. Patrick sat.

David stood in front of him. Unbuttoned his white pajama top slowly. Shrugged it off. Tossed it onto the chair behind him.

He settled on Patrick’s lap. Straddling him.

“If the bottle hand landed on you?” David talked quietly. Slowly. In a tone slightly higher and softer than his normal speaking voice.

Patrick looked down. Looked at the middle of David’s t-shirt. Too embarrassed to look David in the eye.

“Patrick.” David waited.

Head still lowered; Patrick’s looked up. He blinked. Wide eyed.

David spoke with determination. “If we were alone. The three of us. And he was here? On you like this?”

“David.” Patrick whispered. It all felt so…

David took a hold of Patrick’s hand. Brought it to his stubbled cheek. “You’d want to touch his beard.”

Patrick licked his lips before he pressed them together. Shut his eyes. His thumb rubbed David’s stubble. His cock responded.

David lowered his head. His lips lightly grazed Patrick’s. Patrick’s lips parted in anticipation.

Patrick’s other hand found its way inside David’s t-shirt.

David knew what he wanted. He pulled away from Patrick’s mouth. Patrick’s eyes opened and he watched as David reached down to the hem of his t-shirt and then pulled it up over his head. He tossed the t-shirt to the floor beside the couch.

“Feel him, Patrick.” David lowered himself again. His lips gentle. A light suction on Patrick’s lower lip. Tender, gentle kisses on Patrick’s lips. “Feel him.” He whispered against Patrick’s mouth.

Patrick’s hand returned to David’s cheek. His thumb rubbed David’s chin. His other hand splayed across David’s chest. His fingers toying with the hair there.

Patrick moaned.

His hands moved to David’s bare back and slid down his body. Reached into his pants and cupped his ass. David leaned forward and Patrick nuzzled his chest. His tongue darted out. Licked his nipple. Kissed him. Sucked on him.

“David.” He squirmed under him.

“Mmmm?” David kissed Patrick’s forehead.

“What would it be like…” Patrick pulled him down for another kiss. He couldn’t say the words he wanted to say.

“Let me hear you say it.” David’s pelvis rocked against him.

Patrick kissed his neck. Buried his face in David’s neck. Embarrassed, but wanting to live in the fantasy a while longer. “What would we do if there were three of us…”

David growled. “Fucking.” David whispered.

“Show me.” Patrick said.

David teetered between wanting to lay him down and fuck him senseless and wanting to take care of him and help him stick his toe into the shallow end of this pool.

He sat up. “You want to play?” He asked Patrick with a slight smile.

Patrick’s brown eyes blinked. He looked so innocent to David.

He nodded once and said in that low voice that often completely undid David, “I do.”

David stood and held out a hand to Patrick who grabbed hold of David’s hand and used it to pull himself up. He didn’t let go as he followed him to the bed.

“Pull the blankets back. We’re going to get messy.” David shot him a wicked smile.

David quickly went to the closet and retrieved his black bag. Walked over to the desk. Opened it up.

Patrick pulled the blankets back on the bed. Folded them back, and back, until they settled at the foot of the bed. He stood beside the bed. Shifted from one foot to the other. Watching David from a few feet away.

He felt awkward.

And hungry.

And nervous.

And ready.

And part of him wanted to turn and leave the apartment.

His heart skipped a beat and the breath caught in his chest when he saw what David pulled out of his bag. He looked at David’s face and couldn’t read anything on it.

Before he moved closer, David wanted to be clear. “You just say the word and we stop.”

“I know. Apothecary.” Patrick said. He nodded.

“No. Patrick. I mean… yes that’s fine. But any word. Stop. No. Any word and we’re stopping. OK?”

Patrick looked at what David had in his hand.  
  
“Just.” David looked down and then at Patrick. He held up a finger. “I need just a minute. Wait here.”

David took it to the bathroom. Ran warm water over it. Soaped his hand. Cleaned it. He knew it was cleaned after the last use. _Always clean your toys after you use them_. But it had also been in his bag a while. He wanted be sure it was _really_ clean.

When he returned to the bed, Patrick sat perched on the edge. One hand pressed against his pajama pants. Pressed against his erection. Willing it to settle down.

David held the toy out to Patrick. “Want to hold it?”

Patrick’s eyes were wide. He pressed his lips together. He shook his head in the negative. A quick and slight movement of his head. “That’s OK.”

“M’Kay.” David said quietly. “Do you want me to put it back in my bag?”

Patrick shook his head again. “What are you going to do with it?”

David sat down beside him. Held it in his open palm between them. “What do you think we might do with it?”

“I think that’s going in one of us.” Patrick said. He reached out a finger and touched it lightly. Drew a line down its length.

“That’s the plan.” David said.

“It’s pretty big.” Patrick said.

David shrugged. “It’s bigger than a plug. Yeah. But, it’s no bigger than you are. No bigger than I am.”

“That’s… true.” Patrick reached over and wrapped his fingers around it. Picked it up out of David’s hands. David clicked the button on the remote he held in his hand. It began to vibrate softly in Patrick’s hand. “Oh god.” Patrick’s mouth pulled back in a smile.

“So… it does that.” David said with a causal air.

“What’s...” Patrick took a ragged breath. The fingers of his other hand touched the loop of rubber on the end. “That goes…?”

“Around your penis.” David said matter-of-factly.

“ _My_ …penis?” One side of Patrick’s mouth pulled back in a slight grin and the assumption David made.

“Well… the penis of the person who uses it.” David said. He waited. Expecting Patrick to pull the plug – _no pun intended_ – on the whole operation.

Patrick stood. He faced David. He pointed at the toy he held in his hand. “So, you’re saying this goes in me… While I… go in you.”

David pulled his lips into his mouth and bit down. _Sweet Patrick. My Sweet Patrick._ He nodded his head slowly. He stood in front of Patrick. His hands on Patrick’s shoulders. “We don’t have to.”

Patrick tossed the toy on the bed. Pulled David near. “Kiss me. Get us back to where we were.”

David’s lips met his. Patrick’s hands reached up to David’s shoulders. Pulled him down to him. Arms around David’s neck.

David unbuttoned Patrick’s pajama top and pushed it back over his shoulders. It fell to the floor.

Patrick’s arms wrapped around David. Their warm, bare chests pressed together. His hands splayed on David’s back. His fingers pressed into him.

David spoke quietly. “When the bottle landed on me, I was excited.”

“I was nervous.” Patrick said. “Then, it turned me on for a second before I got angry.”

“Why did it turn you on?” David’s fingers stroked Patrick’s arms. His lips brushed against Patrick’s temple.

“Just… seeing him grab you.” Patrick said. “For a split second, I thought it was hot seeing his lips on you, knowing that at the end of the night…”

“I’m yours.” David finished for him.

“Yeah.” He pulled on David’s shoulders. Pulled him close.  
  
David opened his mouth to him and Patrick thrust his tongue into him.

While they kissed, David pushed at the waist of Patrick’s pants. Tried to push them down. They pooled at his feet. Patrick pulled back from the kiss and kicked them off his feet. He watched David push his own pants down and kick them to the side.

Patrick reached over to David’s right hand. Pulled it near him. Pulled off the four rings. Set them on the bedside table and then turned out the lamp there. The only light in the apartment left on was the light in the bathroom across the room.

“You want me to turn it off?” David asked him. Realizing Patrick may want darkness.  
  
Patrick nodded. Sat down on the edge of the bed.

David walked across the apartment. Turned off the bathroom light. Made his way back to the bed.

Patrick scooted back onto the bed. Shut his eyes.

He felt the mattress shift as David sat down beside him.

David spoke quietly. “Looks like the bottle landed on you, now. Come here, Big Guy.”

David kissed him gently. His dick responded as he felt Patrick’s hand move to cup his face. His thumb rub against the stubble on his cheek. Knew that Patrick was imagining kissing Ted. David took his time with the kiss and Patrick’s body readily responded.

When Patrick’s other hand touched David’s chest, teased his nipple, David’s fingers moved to glide along Patrick’s cock. He smiled into their kiss when Patrick’s breath caught in his chest.

“You want Ted to touch you?” David asked.

Patrick tucked his face into the safe place between David’s shoulder and neck. That place where nobody could see him blush.

Patrick reached down and took hold of David. Stroked him. Kissed him on the neck.

David leaned back. His hands flat on the mattress behind him, holding himself up but leaning back enough that Patrick could do as he liked with David’s cock.

Patrick lowered himself and his mouth soon joined his hand as he pleasured David’s cock.

David reached into the drawer beside the bed and pulled out a condom. The bottle of lube.

Patrick held out his hand. David snapped open the lube and poured a generous amount on Patrick’s hand. Then did the same to his own. Patrick looked from David’s hand to his eyes.

“We have to get both of us ready.” David whispered. “Do you want to take care of yourself, or each other?”

“Kiss me.” Patrick whispered.

David kissed his neck. His lips trailed up and down that vein on his neck. That place that drove Patrick a little crazy.

“I’ve not done that with you watching before.” Patrick said quietly.

“First time for everything.” David said; a slight smile on his curved lips. He reached between his own legs. He would go first. He pulled back from necking Patrick. Wanted to see what he could of Patrick’s face in the dark room.  
  
David leaned over. His left hand holding himself up. His right foot on the mattress; his knee up. David’s right hand between his legs. He pressed into himself while he locked eyes with Patrick. His tongue darted out. He licked his bottom lip.

Patrick felt a surge in his dick. Witnessing David touch himself turned him on more than he ever Imagined.

He shifted on the bed. Also leaned over. Took a similar stance and pressed his own finger into himself. He’d done it plenty of times when alone. Prepped himself for the butt plug he had. When he masturbated. Alone.

Doing this in front of David was another level of … salaciousness. He was embarrassed, but he knew David wasn’t judging him. David _never_ judged him. And it all worked. All of it. It turned him on.

“David.” He whispered.

While they each worked their own selves open, they kissed. Lips. Necks.

“Tell me, Patrick,” David whispered into his ear. “Do you want to fuck him? Or do you want him to fuck you?”

“I want to fuck you, David. I always want to fuck you.” Patrick brushed his lips over David’s collar bone.

“Patrick, it’s not cheating if you say…”

“I want that in me. I want that in me while I fuck you, David.” Patrick said boldly. Then, words rushed out of him, “I want to feel what it’s like to do both at the same time.”

David smiled. Nodded. “M’Kay. Are you ready?” He asked Patrick. 

More kissing. David shifted. Reached for the toy.

Patrick held his cock. David stretched the rubber ring and slid it over Patrick. He made sure it settled in at the base of his cock. Then he released it gently.

He eyed Patrick in the dark and knew that if light were shining on him, he would be blushing from head to toe. David was sorry he wasn’t able to see it.

David pushed Patrick, encouraging him to lay back. David lowered his mouth over him. Pulled his cock into his mouth and sucked on him. Sucked him the way he knew Patrick liked. Fully. Completely.

David kissed up Patrick’s body. Kissed his chest. His neck. His lips.

“Do you want to put him in you? Or do you want help?” David asked.

“Help me, David.” Patrick’s eyes were closed in anticipation.

“Baby, get up on your knees.” He whispered into Patrick’s ear.

Patrick did as he was told. David grabbed the toy and positioned it. The silicon strap that ran from the cock ring to the toy pressed against his balls. He leaned over on all fours and David applied lube onto the dildo.

“Ready?” He asked as he pressed it against Patrick’s hole.

Patrick arched his back. “Yeah.”

Slowly, David pressed it in. Slowly. He gauged where he was by Patrick’s breathing. He knew Patrick’s responses as sure as he knew his own. He knew how Patrick breathed when David was pressing past the rings of muscle and how he breathed when David was moving past the spot that brought him pleasure.

Patrick lowered his head to the mattress.

David reached over to the bedside table to retrieve the remote.

David pressed the lowest setting.  
  
Patrick lifted his head. “Oh god.”

“You like that?”

Patrick turned in the bed and pushed David backward. He clenched around the dildo. His hands on David’s chest.

“Fuck. Yes, I like that.” Patrick told him.

David turned it off. Patrick’s eyes moved to David’s hand.

“I’m not letting you come without you fucking me.” David said.

Patrick pulled the condom out of the package that David had already torn open and had waiting for him. He rolled the condom onto himself. Still clenching. He prepped the condom with lube.

He sat back and David moved. David got on his knees and faced Patrick. Kissed him.

David’s fingers drew a line up and down Patrick’s chest. “If there were three of us, it might be easiest on our knees. My back to you. Your back to him.” He watched Patrick’s face carefully. “But tonight, I want to watch you. I want to see your face while he fucks you.”

“You’re loving this.” Patrick said. Seeing the enjoyment on David’s face.

“And you’re not?” David challenged him.

David turned quickly. Laying on his back. Feet flat on the mattress. Hands extended and asking for Patrick to come to him. _Gimme._

Patrick leaned over him. Kissed him.

David lifted one leg. Patrick helped him. Settled the leg on Patrick’s left shoulder. He pressed himself against David’s hole. Added more lube to the condom. Then before he could press in, David said, “Don’t forget. If you want to stop…”

Patrick pressed into him. Pressed past each ring of muscle. Buried himself deep into David. As soon as Patrick pressed into him, just after the thrust, David hit the remote.

Patrick moaned. Then he began talking. “Fuck David. That feels so fucking good.”

“What? I Don’t know what you’re talking about.” David reached up with one hand and ran his fingers through Patrick’s already disheveled short hair.

The vibrations were subtle. He felt them inside of himself; but somehow, they reached his dick.

Then the vibrations stopped.

Patrick paused.

He thrust into David again. Hoping to feel the vibrations start. They did not.

He realized David wanted him to beg for it.

“David. More. Please.” He kissed David’s neck. He thrust into him again. Hoping he’d start the vibrations again.

“What are you talking about.” David said.

“I want more. Please, David.” Patrick asked again.

“You’re asking the wrong person, Baby. He’s the one who’s in you.” David whispered.

Patrick thrust into David again. He pressed on David’s thigh that rested against his shoulder as he leaned over him. Folding him as he went.

“God. Fuck me. I want to feel it.” Patrick grunted.

“Who are you talking to, Patrick?” David asked him.

Patrick shut his eyes. “Ted. Fuck me. God. Fuck me, Ted. Please.”

David turned on the switch and smiled as he watched the look cross Patrick’s face. As he heard the moan of pleasure escape Patrick’s chest.

“How’s he feel?” David asked.

Patrick began to move with a solid pace in and out of David. “So good. Ted, I want more. Please. Ted. More.” Patrick’s voice was louder. His eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy.

David turned up the speed. His thumb tapped the button that changed the rhythm of the pulse.

“Oh my god, Ted. It feels… Fuck me.”

Patrick learned that as he pulled out of David, the toy deep within him pressed against that spot that drove him crazy. He realized as he pressed into David, it alleviated the pressure inside allowing him to last longer.

David knew Patrick was experimenting with the feeling of pleasure by the way he was moving.

“I’m looking at Ted while he’s fucking you.” David told him. “You feel good on his cock. He loves your round ass. How does his cock feel?”  
  
Patrick reached up and kissed him. David changed the setting again. More intense vibrations. Patrick’s arms reached under David. Hooked on David’s shoulders and pulled him downward toward him. Fucking him hard.

David reached between them with one hand to satisfy his own cock.

“Use the words, Patrick. I want the words.” David struggled to get the words out as he rode Patrick’s strong thrusts.

Once he started speaking, the words rushed out of Patrick. “You feel good David. So fucking hot and tight. But. God. Fuck. Ted is fucking me. His cock is thick. Ted’s in my ass and it. God it feels so fucking good to do both at the same fucking time.”

As David neared his peak, he touched the remote one more time. More intensity. Changing the rhythm of the pulse.

“Fuck me. Fuckmefuckme. David. Ted. Fuck.” Patrick said gruffly.

Seeing Patrick come unwound sent David to the edge and pushed him over. “Patrick. Yes. Oh god yes.” David expelled the words with a groan. His head thrown back. His eyes squeezed shut. A hot stream of cum left his cock. Up on Patrick’s chest. On David’s chest. Over his hands. He pumped himself while Patrick pumped into him.

As David tensed around Patrick’s cock, he felt himself step into his own release. He opened his eyes and looked intensely at David who had just opened his eyes. His arms remained around David’s back; his hands hooked over David’s shoulders. He pulled David down harshly one more time on his rock-hard cock.

“David.” He said in a low, husky voice. His nostrils flared. His lips thinned and pressed against his teeth. As his body grew stiff and then began the rhythmic throbbing that wracked through his body with an intensity he’d not often experienced. He called David’s name one more time, “David!” And then a series of guttural noises poured out of him with each spasm that wracked his body. 

As Patrick’s body tensed on top of him. Over and over and over again, David slowed the vibrations, reducing the speed until they toy was turned off.

Patrick dropped on top of him. Only half attempting to hold part of his own weight on his elbows. One of David’s legs still draped over his shoulder. The other wrapped around Patrick.

They lay motionless. Recovering. Gathering their strength while they worked to control their breathing. Sweaty, sticky. Deliriously drained.

“You can go now, Ted.” David waved his hand over Patrick’s shoulder.

“Thanks for stoppin’ by.” Patrick chuckled. His cheek resting on David’s chest.

Patrick lifted his body weight. Lifted himself slightly off of David. His arms holding himself up. He looked down at David.

“You alright in there, Mr. Brewer?” David asked. Touching Patrick’s chin with his finger.

Patrick nodded and said seriously, “I love you, David.”

David gave Patrick a wide, toothy grin. “I know you do. I don’t ever question that.”

Patrick kissed him gently. When he pulled back, David told him, “I love you. More than I’ve ever loved another living soul. Now… don’t let that condom slide up in me.” 

Patrick held the base of the condom to himself while he pulled out of David. He tied off the condom. Tossed it to the end of the bed.

Still on his knees, Patrick reached between his legs and tried to pull out the toy. “David. I’m not sure I can…”

“Pull it straight out. Don’t try to bend it. It’s longer than a plug.” David sat up, reached between Patrick’s legs. Put his hand over Patrick. Guided him. Pulled it straight out.

“Don’t look. It’s probably nasty.” Patrick said. Embarrassment settling over him again.

“Stop it.” David said. “First of all, it’s too dark in here to see anything.”

Once it was removed, Patrick sat on the bed. David pulled the silicone ring that attached to the toy off of Patrick’s flaccid cock. Tossed it to the end of the bed.

They sat facing one another.

“You OK?” David asked him.

“Me? I’m fine.” Patrick told him. “Someone should probably check on Ted, though. He was unusually quiet and left really quickly.”

David smiled. “If he were a real gentleman, he’d have brought us something to clean up. I mean, he topped us both.”

Patrick chuckled. David smiled and leaned into him. Kissed him gently.

David, one arm around Patrick’s neck, lay back. Brought Patrick with him. They lay down, David on his back. Patrick on his side facing him.

“That was really intense.” Patrick said.

“That was a vibrator on your prostate.” David said.

“I liked it.” Patrick admitted.

“What’s not to like?” David made light of the situation.

Patrick rolled onto him. Kissed him. “Go clean up. I’m gonna change these sheets.” Patrick told him. Knowing full well David would not rest easy in the sheets given they had done what they had without any preparation for it.

David reached for the condom and the toy and headed for the bathroom. Patrick watched him go.

He quickly pulled the fitted sheet off the bed. Balled it up tightly and put it on the floor by the desk. He replaced it with a clean sheet and headed for the bathroom.

David had already cleaned the toy. It set on the side of the sink. Patrick eyed it.

He took a piss. Then, he moved to the shower. He opened the door and stepped in behind David, who moved over to let the hot water wash over Patrick.

David’s soapy hands washed Patrick’s chest. His cock.  
  
They kissed. The hot water poured down over them.

“Happy housewarming, Patrick.” David said with playfulness in his voice.

Patrick wrapped his arms around David’s waist and pulled him in for another kiss. He grinned broadly at David. “I told you an old fashioned slumber party would be fun.”

++


	14. Ken (Part 1 of 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick have hired Alexis to provide them a consultation on the Apothecary's website. David isn't thrilled about meeting with her. While Alexis is meeting with them, a customer comes into the store. Patrick helps the customer, and is surprised when the customer gives Patrick his a phone number. After some initial teasing, David encourages Patrick to "Go for dinner and run free" for a night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place before and during 5.06 (and will be posted in 2 parts). 
> 
> I hope you all are well. Please be safe and take care of yourselves and each other. *Red heart emoji*
> 
> \- PD
> 
> ++

++++++

He threw his head back in frustration. “We already have a website.”

“I know.” Patrick handed the cup of coffee to him over the counter.

“Thank you.” He whispered with a soft smile and then moved back to their conversation, “So, why did you tell her we’d look at it?”

“Because she’s your sister. Because she needs a small job to boost her confidence. Because it’s the right thing to do.” Patrick rounded the counter and, not the first time that day, eyed David from head to toe and back up again. He reached out and swatted David in the ass as he passed him on the way to the office.

It was not lost on Patrick what David wore that day. Tight black jeans. Well, tight for David. And a sweater. _The_ sweater. David knew that sweater did things for Patrick.

Patrick settled at the desk to work on payroll. David leaned in the doorway. Held his hot coffee in both hands. The cup warmed him.

“There are other jobs we could give her. She could help box shipments for the orders from the very website she thinks she is going to overhaul.” David half-heartedly argued.

“David.” Patrick sat back in his chair. One leg crossed over the other. Sipped his hot tea.

It was not lost on David that Patrick’s eyes traveled the length of him. _Again._

“Do you dislike the site we’ve created? We’ve enhanced it over the past six months or so. Sales on it are _thriving_ , Patrick.” David said. His eyes didn’t leave Patrick’s face.

“Let her show us what she has. Maybe it’s amazing. Maybe it will take us to another level. You don’t know.” Patrick continued to advocate for Alexis to look at their webpage.

“And if it isn’t going to do that? If it’s pedestrian?” David asked.

“Then we thank her, pay her for her time, and decline to utilize her recommendation.” Patrick said simply.

David raised his chin, shook his head. “Fine.” He sighed. Another sip of his coffee. He knew, deep down, that the job Patrick was giving Alexis was just throwing her a bone. They’d likely not change the hard work they’d put in on the site.

“And, David. Don’t insult her by talking to her about a stocking job. Or a job packing the shipments. She wants to do consulting. We need to support her in that.” Patrick warned him.

“M’Kay.” David said quietly.

“Seriously. Talking down to her and not valuing her current goals will make it harder later on. She won’t be as inclined to…”

“I got it.” David interrupted him. Kicked away from the door frame and walked to the desk. Set his coffee down. Eyed Patrick. Watched Patrick’s gaze sweep over his body _again_.

Patrick took another drink of his tea. David reached out and took Patrick’s cup out of his hands and placed it by his coffee.

He sat down on Patrick’s Lap.

Patrick leaned back. Looked up at David. Smiled at him.

“You’re nice.” David said with a hint of a smile on his lips.

“So you’ve said.” Patrick’s right hand settled on the inside of David’s thigh, where he squeezed him.

“And you, Sir,” David continued, “Are _hungry_.”

Patrick slowly nodded. “Mmhmm.” His left hand slid under David’s sweater. His fingers traced circles on the skin of David’s back.

“This sweater really does it for you, huh?” David wiggled a little, encouraging Patrick.

“The sweater. The jeans. You smell good.” Patrick winked at David as he leaned into him for a kiss.

As they kissed, David gripped Patrick’s shoulders.

He murmured against Patrick’s lips, “And none of this has anything to do with the fact that I haven’t slept at your place for the last four nights.”

Patrick kissed him again and then countered. “Or… you knew how much I’ve missed you for the last four nights and you wore that sweater to taunt me today.”

David pulled his lips to the side. That smile. “You know me well, Mr. Brewer.”

His hand moved from Patrick’s shoulder to the nape of his neck. He pulled him closer. Patrick opened his mouth for him to do as he pleased. David took his time. A slow, deep kiss that made Patrick want more. Made Patrick’s _body_ want more.

Patrick’s hand moved up David’s thigh. The thumb of his right hand moved back and forth. Just out of reach from David’s cock. He knew it drove David crazy to be teased there. His left hand pressed solidly against David’s back.

David wasn’t wrong. He knew the signs. Patrick was hungry. And Patrick was bringing David along with him. He looked forward to getting Patrick home after work. Looked forward to the night. The weekend. David would satiate his boyfriend’s hunger or die trying.

The bell above the door jingled.

David tore his lips away from Patrick. He groaned in frustration.

“Knock. Knock.” Alexis called as she rapped her knuckles on the counter beside the register.

++++++

They stood side-by-side behind the register. Alexis stood on the other side, typing on her laptop. Preparing her presentation.

Patrick’s left side pressed against David’s right side. His left hand roamed where nobody could see it. Roamed over David’s ass. Tucked itself under his sweater. Fingers lightly brushed David’s skin.

David’s eyes darted sideways at him while he pressed the side of his body closer to Patrick. He was ready for the day to be over. Ready to send Alexis on her way. Ready to get Patrick home.

The bell over the door jingled and caught their attention. A man entered. Smiled in their direction.

“Welcome.” David said with a smile as the man walked past them.

He didn’t want to move. Patrick’s busy little hand was making him happy.

He pushed away from the counter. “I should go help him.” He said quietly.

Patrick patted David’s ass. “Nah. Stay here and talk with Alexis about her plan. Hear her out.” Patrick kissed his cheek and stepped away to help the customer who was standing near the baskets at the back of the store.

++++++

While Alexis talked, David watched them. Watched Patrick talk to him. Noticed that Patrick moved from that quiet, serious person who unobtrusively assisted a customer with a purchasing decision, to the Patrick who knew things and shared them willingly.

David watched Patrick’s face come to life. He was interested in the topic being discussed. His face changed while he talked. He was genuinely engaged in the conversation with the man. David watched Patrick smile and chuckle.

Hands first in pockets. Then resting on his waist. Then, as they did when Patrick was engaged in conversation that interested him, his hands were moving. His eyes were dancing; his face and voice expressive. He was smiling. He casually leaned against the counter.

David had watched them make their way around the store. From the corner where the baskets were to the candles and soaps at the back of the store. To the scarves. To the bath salts. To the front of the store.

They’d spent nearly a half hour talking while David was forced to listen to Alexis chatter on about her ideas for the Apothecary’s website.

A half hour. And the two men seemed to have a lot to talk about throughout the entire time. _A lot._

A half hour. And the man had not made any indication that he would be purchasing anything. Everything he picked up, everything he discussed with Patrick, ended up back on the shelf.

“So, you just plug in the information and then it creates the website for you.” Alexis finished her presentation.

“So, what exactly am I paying _you_ for, then?” David said. His eyes shifted, again, to Patrick as he stood talking to the man who held a jar of the body butter.

“I’m your _brand_ consultant David. I’m _consulting_ with you on which _template_ to use.” Alexis told him.

His eyes were on Patrick. He heard Patrick chuckle. Saw the toothy grin of the man responding to his boyfriend’s innocent laugh.

“Sorry. I’m just distracted. There’s a guy over there currently flirting with my boyfriend.” David said, trying to sound lighthearted.

++++++

Patrick patted David’s ass. “Nah. Stay here and talk with Alexis about her plan. Hear her out.” Patrick kissed his cheek and stepped away to help the customer who was standing near the baskets at the back of the store.

He approached the man who stood looking at the hand-woven baskets.

“How can I help you?” Patrick asked.

The man turned and smiled. His eyes briefly held Patrick’s. Then he looked back at the assortment of baskets. “I’m just… looking around.”

“OK. Well… I won’t bug you. We’re here if you…”

“Actually,” he interrupted Patrick. “I’m not here to just look around.”

Patrick jammed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He tilted his head. Furrowed his brow. He turned slightly and made eye contact with David. Then he turned back to the man. “Oh?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t… I don’t mean to sound cryptic.” He said. “I… um… I came here to… learn more about your business…” his voice trailed off. His lowered his head. Looked down at his shoes.

Patrick’s gaze followed the man’s, and he noticed his shoes.

“All right. OK.” Patrick said. Confused. A little concerned. “What about our business?”

The man shook his head. Smiled. He had a nice smile. Shy. Kind. “I’m going to start over. OK? Hi. I’m Ken.” He held out a hand to Patrick.

Patrick smiled. “Patrick.” He returned the man’s firm handshake. While he did so, he shot a glance over at David. David was watching him. He saw David pull his lips into his mouth and bite down. He appeared to Patrick to be holding in a smile.

“Patrick.” Ken nodded his head. “You’re the one who wrote the grants.” Ken’s hands dug into his pockets.

“Grants?”

“The… uh… community engagement grants? You won them a year ago.” Ken said.

“Yeah. I … um… I know what grants your talking about. Not quite a year ago, but … yeah. What about the grants? Is… is there a problem?” Patrick was starting to feel concerned. His hands settled on his waist and he shot another glance at David, who was eyeing Patrick while engaging Alexis in conversation.

“No. No, no. No problem. I’m sorry. I don’t know that I’m doing this well.” Ken said.

Patrick took a step back and leaned against the table of product behind him. Crossed his arms over his chest. Tilted his head. Made a _huh_ sound.

Ken pulled a basket from the shelf. Held it in his hands. “I’m an accountant.” Ken said. He eyed the basket. Turned it over in his hands.

“OK, Ken. You… Umm… I’m concerned here. Is there a problem?” Patrick immediately worried that there was something wrong with the grants and they were going to have to pay them back. He worked to keep his breathing level. Even. _Stay calm._

“I’m sorry.” Ken shook his head. Put the basket back on the shelf. He nervously took a deep breath. “There’s not a problem. I’m sorry. Let me explain.”

Ken then began to ramble. As he did so, he nervously used his hands to express himself.

Patrick began to piece together what he was being told. Ken lived in Cedar Grove, about an hour away from Schitt’s Creek. He was an accountant in a newly forming group who was looking to find funding for their new business. He had learned of the grants and wanted to talk to people who had been successful in obtaining them.

“So, the committee connected me with a woman named Shonda. She’s the recipient in my community.” Ken explained.

“I know Shonda.” Patrick nodded. He recalled when he was at his first grantee meeting and he was in a group with Shonda, the interior designer. It was the same conference where he met Jackson, the guy who owned the barn venue in Elmdale

“Well… I don’t know how well you know her. But… Shonda wasn’t much help.” Ken crinkled up his face in an attempt to get his point across to Patrick. “Her records… well it was hard to understand how she worked through the grant process.” He was clearly trying to be respectful.

Patrick huffed out a chuckle. Nodded his head. Lowered his gaze to look at Ken’s shoes again. Without raising his head, he looked up at Ken. “I understand.”

The two men began to talk. Patrick learned that Ken had found out about the different grants the store had received.

“I guess I just took my chances, Patrick.” Ken looked at him with a sheepish look on his face. “I thought… thought that since you were so successful in your first year of business with the grants…” 

“You wanted some pointers.” Patrick interrupted him. Put him out of his misery.

“See if you’d be willing to talk to me. Tell me about how you wrote your proposals. Let me bounce some ideas off you. About the types of grants a business like mine could try for.” Ken clarified.

Patrick nodded. “OK.” He said quietly. He motioned his hand to indicate they should move to another section of the store.

They slowly made their way to the back of the store where Patrick showed him the candles. The soaps. He spoke briefly about Terri and Amy and their goat farm. The goat milk products. Patrick told him about the grant that they received because they used products from local vendors at the store.

“That’s really… a really great idea to do that. To rebrand local products under the name of the store.” Ken said.

“Well… I can’t take credit for that.” Patrick smiled. He turned and looked at David who was quietly arguing with his sister. When David noticed Patrick looking at him, he stopped talking with Alexis and smiled at Patrick. Patrick winked at him from across the store. “That was David’s idea. He had the idea long before I got involved.”

“David.” Ken said. He looked down at the body milk he held in his hands. Put the bottle back on the shelf.

“Yeah. This was… the store… it was his idea. I got involved as he was just getting started. Helped him file the initial paperwork. Then… I… uh… joined him.”

“Business partners?” Ken asked. He raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah. Yeah. At first.” Patrick leaned against the counter. Busied himself by moving around the bottles on the shelf. He coughed. “But… he’s my boyfriend, also.”  
  
Patrick hated how nervous he was. He acknowledged to himself that he seldom had to do it. Had to actually use the words and come out to someone. He was ashamed of himself that he felt nervous when he said the words out loud, because he was proud that David was his boyfriend.

“I see.” Ken said. “So… tell me about the grants that you have that are _not_ connected to the vendors. I’m not going to be able to write for that one. I know there are others.”

Relieved that Ken had moved the conversation, Patrick smiled. Nodded his head. He cleared his throat. He started talking. The Rural Revitalization Grant. The Small Business Grant. He talked about each of the grants and explained how their little business was able to obtain money from each.

Ken asked questions. Necessary documentation. Data needed. Size of awards. Reporting processes.

Patrick excitedly talked to him about it all. As they talked, they moved to another section of the store. Patrick showed him the shave kits. The natural toothbrushes and tooth paste. The note cards and calligraphy kits.  
  
He told Ken about the community engagement activities. “After our first Open Mic night, we just started having activities in the store nearly every week. David mostly thinks of them and hosts them.” He looked over at his boyfriend who was taking in all that Alexis was saying. David looked up at him. No change in expression other than a slightly raised eyebrow. Patrick lifted his chin a fraction of an inch.

“Seems like he’s pretty creative.” Ken said. Bringing Patrick’s attention back to the conversation.

“Yeah. Yeah, he is. Very creative. Our agreement is that he makes the creative decisions for the store. I handle the business. The accounting.” Patrick nodded.

Ken tucked his hands into his back pockets and looked down at his feet. “He’s very handsome.” He looked up at Patrick.

Patrick felt his face grow warm. He pressed his lips together in a smile. He glanced at David and back at Ken. “He is. I’m a lucky guy.”

“I’d say he’s the lucky one.” Ken said. He raised his eyebrows. A small smile.

“So… these are the scarves made by the Himalayan cat breeder. I’m allergic, but feel free to touch it if you want.” Patrick pointed to the scarves in the corner.

Ken shook his head. “I’m allergic to cats.”

“Well… moving on…” Patrick laughed. “Bath salts?” He pointed at the shelf.

As they continued to talk, they discovered they were both graduates of the same University. Same field of study. Ken was there a couple of years after Patrick graduated. They chatted about the college. Professors from the program. The town where they’d both spent their young adult years.

They’d made their way toward the front of the store. Patrick leaned against the credenza that held the body butter.

“Um… Patrick? Can I ask… would you be interested in going out… sometime?” Ken asked. He looked down at his feet again.

Patrick’s eyes joined Ken’s in looking down. He felt his heart beat, quickly and heavily in his chest. His breath caught in his throat. “You mean to talk about grants?”

Ken laughed. “No. I mean… I guess, if that’s what you want. But I mean… go out. Like on a date.”

Patrick took a beat before saying, “David’s my _boyfriend_.” He knew he’d told him that. He tried to ignore the flip-flop he felt in his stomach. The tug he felt in his lower abdomen. The twitching he felt in his jeans.

He looked at David. They locked eyes. Patrick quickly looked back at Ken, hoping David could not tell that his body was betraying him in that moment.

“I understand that.” Ken said. Then he quickly added. “I don’t mean to assume. Not everyone has an open relationship. I mean… it’s fine with me if it is with you two.”

“We’re… uh… David and I are monogamous.” Patrick said quietly. His finger traced a line on the grain of wood of the credenza.

“OK. That’s cool. I understand.” Ken said. Then he changed the topic. Talked about the grant he planned to write. Asked Patrick more questions.

As they talked, Patrick looked at him. He was a good-looking guy. Different than David. Shorter. Patrick briefly wondered what it would be like to hold a man who was smaller than he was. One of his favorite things about being with David was that David was taller. Patrick always loved tucking into David’s arms. Kissing him on the neck while David pulled him into a big, protective hug. He wondered what it would be like. Would it be like what it was like holding Rachel in his arms? Someone smaller, shorter?

Ken said something and chuckled. Patrick had no idea what he said. But he laughed because it felt like it must have been something funny. Then, before he realized what was happening, Ken said, “OK. Let me get something to write it on.”

He walked away from Patrick. Walked toward David.

Patrick turned his back to them. He chastised himself for his body’s reaction. He rationalized that his reaction was because he hadn’t had David alone and in bed for days. Rationalized that his body was hungry and would respond to anyone showing the slightest interest in him at this point.

He did that thing Patrick did when he didn’t know what else to do. He busied himself moving around the bottles of product.

He heard Ken say is name behind him. “Um.. Patrick?”

Patrick turned. Looked at Ken. Looked at the paper he held in his hands. He knew David was watching.

Very quietly, Ken said, “If you change your mind…” He handed Patrick the piece of paper.

Patrick looked at him. Knowing he shouldn’t, he took the paper. A hint of a smile on his face. His heart racing.

Ken handed him the pen he held. Whispered. “Call me?” And then he turned and left the store.

Patrick moved to join David and Alexis and quickly understood that the two had been watching the exchange. A high five from Alexis. Teasing. He watched David work to hold his jealousy in check.

Patrick liked seeing David a little bit jealous. He teased him.

“I’m just gonna…” He winked at Alexis, “Put that… right there.” He slid the paper into his back pocket and walked away from them.

++++++

Patrick was working in the storage room. Moving boxes to make room for the shipment they expected later in the day. David walked by the door. Patrick heard him. He kept working.

David walked by the door again. Paused. Leaned against the door jamb.

Patrick turned, box in hand. Made eye contact with David.

David watched Patrick’s eyes trail the length of his body. Again.

“Hi.” David said in his most seductive voice.

“Hi.” Patrick returned the greeting.

“Whatcha doin’, Mr. Brewer?” David flirted.

“Just rearranging the boxes, David.” Patrick went back to work. He suppressed a smile. He knew David was thinking about the phone number Patrick had in his pocket.

“Thinking about anything special?” David asked.

“Yup. Thinking about framing this phone number and putting it on the wall in the office.” Patrick’s back was to David.

“You think that’s a good idea?” David asked. His voice serious.

“I mean… It’s the first time a man has given me his number and invited me to ask him out.” Patrick said. Then to dig a little deeper at David, “It’s kind of a big deal.”

“MmHm. MmHm.” David nodded. “Only… it isn’t, you know. Let us not forget Toby.” _Toby the mother-fucking umpire,_ David thought to himself.

Patrick, back still to David, smiled broadly. “Not really the same. I knew him for a couple of months before he let me know he wanted me to fuck him. This guy… he’s a perfect stranger.” He put his box down on the new stack he formed. Turned. Brushed his hands together and looked at David.

“Yes. That’s true. I see your point.” David said. “I’m going to go clean the restroom.”

And with that, David turned and left Patrick alone in the storage room.

++++++

Patrick sat at the desk. Payroll work was complete. But he didn’t want to get up. Didn’t want to talk to David, yet.

David stepped into the doorway. Leaned against the door. “It’s Fiesta Friday at the café.” He said.

Startled, because he hadn’t heard David move into the office, Patrick jumped. He looked up.  
  
David smiled at him. Patrick looked like a kid caught with his hands in the cookie jar. David noticed the piece of paper in Patrick’s hand.

Patrick coughed and mumbled something about just finishing up the payroll. He stood. He put the paper in his back pocket.   
  
“So what do you think?” David asked him.

Patrick shook his head. “I don’t know, David. About what?”

“Fiesta Friday. Want to eat at the café or order it to eat here?”

++++++

Twyla took their order and stepped away from their booth. It was a busy day at Café Tropical.

David could tell he was distracted. He wanted to get to the heart of the matter and ask him about Ken. Instead he told him about the website that Alexis wanted to use with them.

“It’s nowhere near as sophisticated as what we’re using now. I don’t know what she’s thinking.” David said.

Patrick’s head was bowed slightly. His fingers were twisted together as his hands rested on the table in front of him. “Hmm?” Patrick looked up at him. He’d missed all of what David said.

“Patrick. Has anyone ever given you their number before?” David asked.

“Yeah. Of course.” Patrick shrugged.

“I mean… has anyone ever given you their number before with the intention of you using it to ask them out?” David clarified. He was reminded again of the very little… life experience… Patrick had experienced.

“Yes. Why?” Patrick challenged David.

David noted how his boyfriend straightened his back and grew stubborn right in front of his eyes.

“Nothing. Patrick.” David dismissed his previous comment with a wave of his hand. “I was just curious. What all did you two talk about? He was in the store for a while.”

Twila brought their drinks to them. Patrick grew quiet while David and Twyla chatted about something. Patrick had difficulty caring about the conversation around him.

“OK.” David said. He sat back, drink in hand. “What did you guys talk about today?”

Patrick told David about the conversation. Ken was there to learn about the grants. He was an accountant. “He graduated from the same university I did, actually.” Patrick said.

David nodded. Listened.

Patrick explained that he had told Ken about how the store had been David’s idea and how Patrick partnered with him early on. About how they had applied for the grants.

“Does he think we’re just business partners?” David asked directly.

“No. He knows you’re my boyfriend. That we’re in a committed relationship. Monogamous.” Patrick took a sip of his soda.

“I see. So, you just offered up that we’re monogamous?” David asked him quietly.

“No. No. He… uh… he asked me out after I told him that we’re together. So… I clarified with him that we’re… exclusively… the two of us.” Patrick said. His eyes on his straw as he bounced it in his drink. Then he looked up at David.

“I see.” David nodded. “And… he gave you his number anyway?”

“Yup. He said if we were OK with it, he was.” Patrick spotted Twyla coming toward their table with their plates. He leaned back. Moved his drink out of the way. He smiled at Twyla. Thanked her.

David bit into his taco. Chewed slowly. Swallowed. “It’s good.”

“Yeah.” Patrick took a drink of his soda. Changed the subject. “So, what did you think about the website Alexis showed you?”

David smiled at him. Knew what Patrick was doing. “I think I was right. What she showed me was not… it was _uninspired_. Certainly not as advanced as what we currently have.”

“Then we won’t use it.” Patrick nodded. Moved food around his plate with his fork.

++++++

Patrick was restocking the candles when David approached him again. David told him what he’d been thinking about.

“David!” Patrick crossed his arms over himself.

David explained why he thought Patrick should call Ken.

Patrick watched him. Questioned him. David was serious. He wanted Patrick to call Ken.

And, Patrick took more than a little delight in knowing that David was thinking about _five years_ down the line.

David was adamant. “I think a cute boy gave you his number, and you should go for dinner and run free. _Best_ case scenario, you realize how good you have it with me. _Worst case_ scenario… you realize how good you have it with me.”

Patrick pulled the paper with Ken’s number out of his pocket and looked at it. Seriously looked at it, for the first time.

++++++

Patrick sat at the desk in the office. He dialed the phone and waited. Sent a silent prayer to the universe that he’d get Ken’s voice mail.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Ken?” Patrick’s voice was shaky.

“Yes?”

“This is… um… Patrick. Patrick Brewer. From Rose Apothecary in Schitt’s Creek?”

“Oh. Patrick. Hi. Hi there. How’s it going?”

Patrick had trouble forming the words he wanted to use. “Um… good. It’s good. I… uh… I happen to have… um… tonight open. Would you… uh… would you want to get together for dinner or something?”

“Tonight? Yeah. Yeah. That would be… Sure. Yes.” Ken sounded cheerful.

“OK. All right. Um… good, then.” Patrick didn’t know what else to say. He held the phone to his ear and remained quiet.

Ken filled the blank space. “Where do you want to go, Patrick? Do you want to come to Cedar Grove? Or meet somewhere in between?”

“Yeah. I guess. I can go there. That’s fine.” Patrick said.

“You sure? It’s like an hour drive for you.” Ken asked.

“Well if I don’t go there, you’d have to come here, right? It’s fine. I can go there.” Patrick said. He held a pen in his hand and drew squares on the paper in front of himself.

“Great. Where do you want to eat?” Ken asked.

The phone call was excruciating. Patrick didn’t want to make decisions about location. He wasn’t really sure he even wanted to go. “How about you choose.”

“I can do that. Do you… do you want to pick me up or meet me at the restaurant?” Ken asked him.

 _God. More decisions._ Patrick’s mind was muddled. “I umm… do you have a preference?” Patrick asked.

“It might be good to just meet wherever we decide to eat.” Ken said. “I’ll just think about it and send you details in a text.”

“Sounds good.” Patrick nodded his head. He looked at the wall. His and David’s memory wall.

The first receipt.

B-13.

The decision chart.

“Do you have a preference of what type of food?” Ken asked.

“Um…no, not really. I guess… I’d rather not have Thai food. Or pizza. Or… chicken. If that’s OK.” He realized he probably sounded insane. But he could not, _absolutely would not,_ eat David’s favorite foods while he was out with another man.

Patrick’s stomach rolled. And it didn’t feel like a flip-flop. He thought he might lose his lunch.

“OK. That’s fine. Maybe just a general restaurant. With options.” Ken said. “I’ll text you.”

“Thanks. I’ll look for your text. Talk with you later.”

“Patrick?”

“Yeah?” Patrick didn’t want to say his name.

“I’m glad you called. I’m _really_ looking forward to spending time with you.” Ken said. His voice sounded happy.

“Yup.” Patrick said quietly. He nodded his head.

“I’ll see you tonight.” Ken said.

“Yeah. See you tonight. Bye.” Patrick said.

He set the phone on the desk and leaned back in his chair.

He looked over at David who sat, across the office, on the couch. David pulled his lips into his mouth and bit down on them.

Patrick stood. Ran his hand through his closely cropped hair.

Shoved his phone into his pocket. Sighed.

He looked at David. Locked eyes with him.

Patrick shook his head and walked out of the office.

He grabbed he broom from the storage room and went outside to sweep the sidewalk.

++

End Part 1 of 2

++


	15. Ken (Part 2 of 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is the 2nd of two parts. 
> 
> Patrick goes to meet Ken for their date. They kiss. Patrick tells David about his night. David asks to spend time with #TCP. Afterward, Patrick sings David to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place during and after 5.06.  
> It is part 2 of 2 chapters that cover 5.06.
> 
> +++
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Trigger warnings (below) will give away what happens in this story. If you are not inclined to want to know what is going to happen, then don't read the warnings. If you are concerned about being triggered (and there are themes in this chapter that can be triggering) then, please read the warnings. 
> 
> +++
> 
> ********WARNING**********  
> WARNING: Patrick will kiss someone other than David. If the idea of Patrick doing so will trigger you in any way, please do not read this chapter.  
> ***************************  
> WARNING: This chapter contains copious amounts of dialog about emotions. If dialog that processes emotions is bothersome to you in any way, please do not read this chapter.  
> ***************************  
> WARNING: This chapter contains the theme of cheating on a significant other and mixed signals. If this topic is distasteful to you or will potentially trigger you, please do not read this chapter.  
> ***************************  
> WARNING: This chapter contains a sex scene that is in a semi-public place. If public sex is a trigger to you, please do not read this chapter.  
> ***************************  
> WARNING: The use of a SAFE WORD is used in this chapter because of consensual ROUGH SEX (Note: Rough for my writing. I'm certain that BDSM readers will find my scene mild). Rough Sex in this chapter = Take Charge Patrick (TCP), Shoving, Spanking, Hitting the face, Biting that draws blood.  
> ****END OF WARNINGS****
> 
> All of that being said, I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Be well friends. Please take care of one another by exercising safety in your personal / social exchanges.
> 
> \- PD
> 
> ++

++++++

He stood alone in the bathroom of his apartment. Dressed. Ready.

He stared at himself in the mirror. Looked himself in the eyes and then looked away.

His stomach did a flip-flop.

The phone in his pocket vibrated.

_Hottie I have sex with (5:54 pm):_

‘Getting ready to leave?’

_You (5:54 pm):_

‘Yup.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:54 pm):_

‘Meeting at 7?’

_You (5:15 pm):_

‘Yup.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:54 pm):_

‘What are you wearing?’

_You (5:54 pm):_

‘Shirt. Jeans.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:55 pm):_

‘Photo please.’

_You (5:55 pm):_

*Patrick sent David a photo he took of his shirt and jeans without his face in it*

_Hottie I have sex with (5:55 pm):_

‘Your face please.’

_You (5:55 pm):_

*Patrick sent David a selfie of Patrick forcing an obviously uncomfortable smile*

_Hottie I have sex with (5:56 pm):_

‘Smile at him like that and you won’t creep him out at all.’

_You (5:56 pm):_

*Thumbs up emoji*

_Hottie I have sex with (5:56 pm):_

‘You OK?’

_You (5:56 pm):_

‘Fine.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:56 pm):_

‘Where are you guys having dinner?’

_You (5:57 pm):_

‘David.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:57 pm):_

‘What? I’m curious.’

_You (5:57 pm):_

‘Then come with me.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:57 pm):_

‘I don’t believe I was invited. This is your date.’

_You (5:58 pm):_

‘It’s not a date.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:58 pm):_

‘Isn’t it?’

_You (5:58 pm):_

‘OK. Whatever. I need to go.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:58 pm):_

‘Where are you eating?’

_You (5:59 pm):_

‘I don’t know. Some restaurant.’

*Patrick sent David the address to the restaurant*

_Hottie I have sex with (5:59 pm):_

‘Will you let me know when you get there?’

_You (5:59 pm):_

‘David.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:59 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_You (5:59 pm):_

‘You know I didn’t want to do this.’

‘Don’t make it harder by making me check in with you all night.’

_Hottie I have sex with (5:59 pm):_

‘OK.’

‘Go and have a good time.’

_You (6:00 pm):_

‘OK.’

_Hottie I have sex with (6:00 pm):_

‘Enjoy yourself, Patrick.’

‘I’m serious.’

_You (6:00 pm):_

‘OK.’

_Hottie I have sex with (6:00 pm):_

‘Are you leaving now? You need to leave so you’re not late.’

‘I don’t want you to speed.’

_You (6:00 pm):_

‘OK.’

_Hottie I have sex with (6:00 pm):_

‘Please be safe.’

_You (6:01 pm):_

‘OK.’

_Hottie I have sex with (6:01 pm):_

‘Don’t worry about checking in. I’ll see you when I see you.’

_You (6:01 pm):_

‘David.’

_Hottie I have sex with (6:01 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_You (6:02 pm):_

‘I love you.’

‘Stop texting me now. I’m not going to answer any more of your texts.’

_Hottie I have sex with (6:02 pm):_

‘OK’

‘I love you, too.’

Patrick tried to shove his phone into his pocket as he left his apartment. His phone wouldn’t fit. As he walked down the stairs his phone vibrated.

When he got into his car, he glanced at it.

_Hottie I have sex with (6:04 pm):_

‘Please, Patrick. Be safe.’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

Patrick turned his phone off and tossed it onto the passenger seat of his car before heading to meet Ken _._

++++++

He sat in the parking lot and stared at the restaurant. He turned on his phone. Double checked. No missed messages. David had not texted since Patrick left his apartment.

It was 7:10 and he knew he was late for their… _date_. He was late for their _date_. It was hard for Patrick to think of it in those terms.

But that’s what it was.

It was a date. _This is a date._

He knew he needed to go in. He knew Ken would be inside waiting. He was the one to call Ken to ask him out. It was the right thing to do to go inside. But he didn’t want to. He _did_ want to… but he didn’t.

He was conflicted.

He knew David had told him he was fine with it. David _wanted_ him to do it. And part of Patrick wanted to do it. A small part of him was curious. But it felt _weird_.

Patrick didn’t feel like he needed to be with anyone else.

He felt his heart beating in his ears.

He couldn’t force himself to move. He reached for the gear shift. _I need to leave. I just need to leave._

His body jumped when he felt the phone in his hand vibrate.

_Ken (7:14 pm):_

‘Patrick. Are you OK?’

_You (7:14 pm):_

‘I’m sorry. I’m late.’

_Ken (7:15 pm):_

‘It’s OK.’

‘Were you planning to come inside?’

_You (7:15 pm):_

‘I’m sorry. I’m sitting in the parking lot.’

_Ken (7:15 pm):_

‘I know. I see you.’

_Shit._ Patrick shut his eyes.

Humiliation washed over him. He looked at the restaurant and saw Ken standing outside the front door. He held up a hand to wave at Ken. Ken waved back.

_You (7:16 pm):_

‘Ken. I’m sorry.’

_Ken (7:16 pm):_

‘Would it be OK if I come out and talk to you?’

_Damnit!_ Patrick cursed to himself.

_You (7:16 pm):_

‘Sure.’

Patrick turned off the car. Left the keys in the ignition.

He tossed his phone onto the driver’s seat as he got out of the car. He shut the car door. He moved to put his hands in his pockets and realized he had on the jeans that fit him tighter than others. Too constricting for him to bury his hands in his pockets.

 _Why did I wear these damn jeans?_ He thought to himself.

“Hi.” Ken said with a gentle voice as he approached the car.

“Hey, Ken.” Patrick raised his chin in a greeting.

Hesitantly, Ken asked, “Are you OK?”

“I’m fine. Fine.” Patrick said. He had trouble meeting Ken’s eyes. He was frustrated with himself. He sighed. “No. No, I’m not fine. I’m sorry. I’m really, very sorry.”

Ken furrowed his brow. “Why would you be sorry?”

“I can’t… I should have never called you for… tonight. This… _date_. I shouldn’t have called.” Patrick stumbled over his words and then added again, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK. You’re allowed to change your mind, Patrick. I’m sorry you drove all this way.” Ken shoved his hands into his pockets. He shrugged his shoulders.

Patrick leaned against his car door. He looked down at the ground. He looked at Ken’s shoes. The same he wore at the store earlier that morning. He didn’t know what to say to him.

“Patrick? It seemed like we had a lot to talk about this morning. Am I wrong?” Ken asked.

Patrick shook his head. “You’re not wrong. We have a lot in common.” Patrick looked over Ken’s shoulder at the restaurant; still avoiding Ken’s eyes. He watched people go inside.

“I assumed that was why you decided to call.” Ken told him. His smile was kind.

Patrick shook his head again. Raised his chin and looked Ken in the eye. “I called you because David wanted me to. I didn’t really… want to. I mean… I don’t mind getting to you know as… as a friend. But… that _wasn’t_ what tonight was supposed to be. I’m so sorry.” Patrick rolled his eyes. Sighed.

He wished the ground would open and swallow him whole. He just wanted to get out of there. _Run._

Ken slowly nodded his head as he tried to understand. “Patrick, may I ask? What was tonight _supposed_ to be?”

Patrick crossed his arms over his chest. He felt himself grow warm. Knew he was blushing. He figured Ken deserved an explanation. He felt like he’d taken advantage of Ken. Of the situation that presented itself earlier that day.

Patrick tried to explain. “David… he’s uh… he’s the only guy I’ve ever…”

“Oh.” Ken said. “OK.”

“Yeah. And… and, he thought that I needed to experience… getting to know someone else. Seeing who is _out there_. I’m sorry, Ken. You… when you were at the store, it seemed like you understood that I was with him, but you still were OK with a date.” Patrick felt embarrassed.

“That’s true. I was. _I am_.” Ken nodded his head. “But not if you don’t want to. That doesn’t seem right.”

“Anyway, he wanted me to call you and… _Run free_ ,” Patrick used air quotes when he said the words David had used. He shrugged, “So I called.”

“What ground rules did you guys set?” Ken asked.

“Ground rules?” Patrick asked. Brow furrowed. Head tilted. 

“Like, what did the two of you agree upon. What’s off bounds? What did he say he was OK with happening tonight?” Ken asked.

“He didn’t say.” Patrick said, keeping to himself that David told him, twice, to _be safe_.

Patrick made an assumption about what David meant by _be safe_. He was certain that he was talking about the conversation they had a couple of months prior when David asked Patrick to promise to always use a condom if he had sex with anyone other than David. He knew David was telling Patrick that if he wanted to, he could have sex with Ken.

Patrick had thought, ever since the Ted thing, that it was likely that David was turned on by the thought of Patrick having sex with someone else. And, David was adamant about Patrick going out with Ken. “Run free,” David had said. _Run free._

Ken watched Patrick ruminate and then said, “Ground rules make it… safer… for your relationship. They let you both set the boundaries. Remove the likelihood of misunderstandings.”

“We didn’t do that.” Patrick scratched the back of his head. His hand rested at the back of his neck as he thought about David.

Patrick noticed as Ken’s eyes roamed over his chest. His arms. Other than David, Patrick wasn’t sure he’d ever watched someone look at him like that.

“Did he talk with you about why he wanted you to call me?” Ken asked.

“I told him that you’d asked me out. That I told you that we are in a committed relationship.” Patrick’s eyes locked with Ken’s. Then he looked down at the ground between them, again.

Patrick knew he was blushing. He hoped it was dark enough outside to keep Ken from noticing.

“How did he respond to that? Was he upset?” Ken asked.

“No. Not at all. I think he, maybe, had in mind that he doesn’t want me to regret not having other… _experiences_.” Patrick told him. “We’ve been together almost a year and… I think he worries. I mean… I think he thinks that later… I’m going to wish I had played the field. I’m sorry. I mean no disrespect. I know I’m not using the right words.”

“It’s Ok. I understand what you’re saying.” Ken said. He put his hand on the hood of Patrick’s car. Leaned on it.

Patrick felt like he could say more. Other than Terri, there was nobody in his life he could talk with about what he was going through with David. In that moment, Ken felt safe.

“We had a… uh… party a few weeks ago. Played some party games. Never have I ever. Spin the bottle. That sort of thing.” Patrick paused. Ran his hand through his hair. “He… uh… was kissed by someone.”

Ken remained silent.

“When I was honest with him about it. I wasn’t so much jealous that _he_ was kissed…” Patrick’s voice tailed off. He stared at the ground. Ken’s shoes.

“You were jealous that _you_ weren’t.” Ken said. His head nodded in understanding.

Patrick made a noise and pushed away from the car. “Yeah. Somethin’ like that.” His hands tried to tuck into his front pockets again. When they didn’t fit, he moved his hands to his back pockets and slid them in there.

He noticed Ken looked at his chest again. He knew with his hands in his back pockets, his shirt pulled tight across his chest.

“You can kiss _me_.” Ken’s voice was quiet.

“Nooo. No, no. I can’t ask you to …” Patrick crossed his arms over his chest. Lowered his head. Looked at his feet. Embarrassed.

Ken moved away from the car. Took two steps toward Patrick.

“It’s _just_ a kiss. I won’t expect anything. It’s fine. If you think David would be OK with it. If _you would be_ OK with it, Patrick. You can kiss me.” Ken shrugged his shoulders and smiled up at Patrick.

Patrick instinctively licked his lips. His breath caught in his throat. He furrowed his brow. A nearly imperceptive nodding of his head.

“Yeah?” Ken asked with a hint of a smile as he took another step. Hands at his sides, he was within arm’s reach of Patrick.

“Yeah.” Patrick whispered. “Yes.” He felt a pull in his lower abdomen. A slow, subtle throbbing start in his cock.

Patrick took a step. He looked into Ken’s eyes. His eyes dropped to Ken’s mouth. Ken smiled at him. Patrick’s eyes trailed back up to Ken’s eyes. His eyes were kind.

Patrick looked at his mouth again.

“Just… a kiss. It’s _just_ a kiss.” Patrick whispered, more to convince himself than Ken.

Ken shrugged. “Whatever you want.”

Patrick leaned forward. Just a tiny movement. _Oh my god. This is going to happen._

Ken leaned forward; met Patrick half way. His hands still at his sides.

Patrick raised a hand. His fingers wrapped around the back of Ken’s head.

Patrick’s heart pounded. He drew in a shaky breath. He leaned forward as he pulled Ken toward him.

Patrick first felt his lips. They were soft and warm.

Patrick waited to feel stubble and didn’t. Ken was clean shaven. He smelled nice. Different than David. Like wood and spice.

Ken parted his lips. Just a little, but enough to encourage Patrick to deepen the kiss.

Without breaking the connection with his lips, Patrick dropped his hand. Both of his hands settled on Ken’s narrow waist. Ken raised both of his arms and wrapped them around Patrick’s neck. He pulled Patrick down to him.

It was not lost on Patrick that he was leaning down to kiss a man.

Patrick pulled Ken’s bottom lip into his mouth for a gentle suck.

He felt his body respond. He was turned on.

 _David wants me to do this. I’m not breaking any rules._ Patrick told himself.

The pads of Ken’s fingers moved back and forth on the back of Patrick’s head.

He wrapped his arms around Ken and pulled him in closer. Pressed their chests together. Both of his hands splayed flat against Ken’s back.

Ken’s tongue swiped along Patrick’s lower lip. Asking to be invited in. Patrick hesitated for a brief moment before accepting him into his mouth.

Ken’s tongue was thin and firm. He tasted like toothpaste. Maybe mouthwash. Mint.

Their bodies pressed together. One of Patrick’s thumbs moved back and forth on Ken’s back.

When Ken’s tongue licked into Patrick again, Patrick opened his mouth wider.

 _This could happen_. He thought to himself. _It would make David happy. And it feels good. So good._

His hands pressed firmer against Ken’s back. Pressed Ken to him.

Ken wiggled a little. His narrow pelvis pressed forward, snugly against Patrick’s.

Patrick knew the movement allowed Ken to feel him. Feel Patrick’s firming cock as it strained against his tight jeans. He felt Ken’s erection against his hip.

 _No. This is wrong._ Patrick thought to himself. _I don’t want him to feel my dick._

Patrick moved his hands to Ken’s waist and he pushed gently away from him. His hands remained on Ken’s waist.

Ken read the movements of Patrick’s body. He, too, loosened his hold. His hands shifted to Patrick’s shoulders. He looked up at Patrick who stood with his eyes closed. Parted lips, damp from the kiss. His breathing unsteady.

“We should stop.” Patrick whispered. His heart raced.

“You’re good at this.” Ken whispered at the same time. He brushed his lips against Patrick’s.

“So are you.” Patrick whispered back. He knew that David gave him the go ahead.

_Run free._

_Be safe._

Patrick leaned in for another deep kiss. Gentle. Lips. His tongue delved into Ken’s welcoming mouth. Ken sucked on him. Ken’s hands first resting on Patrick’s shoulders, then slowly sliding down Patrick’s broad chest and under his arms. Ken’s hands were then on Patrick’s back. One hand slowly moved over Patrick’s ass and cupped him. Squeezed him.

Patrick made a small noise into Ken’s mouth.

Ken’s mouth left Patrick’s and moved to his neck. Tiny kisses along the vein in his neck. Chills ran down Patrick’s left side.

 _God yes. Or… no. God no._ Patrick’s thoughts whirled in his mind.

“I think… maybe… we should…stop...” Patrick stopped talking as Ken’s mouth moved up to his ear. Kissed him just below the ear.

Ken whispered, “I don’t need us to stop.”

Ken kissed him again. On the jaw. “Would he be OK if we took this somewhere else? My place?”

“He would.” Patrick whispered back.

Patrick put both hands on Ken’s face and pulled him in again. Another kiss.

Ken’s face tilted up to him and Patrick took what he wanted from him. Ken’s hands pressed against Patrick’s chest. Ken’s thumb rubbed him. One of his fingers found Patrick’s nipple and he grazed it with his fingernail.

The sensation caused a chill to run down Patrick’s body. His dick throbbed at the touch.

Patrick immediately pulled back. With his hands on Ken’s shoulders he gently pushed them apart again. “No. It’s… it’s me. I need us to stop. _I_ need to stop.”

Ken immediately dropped his hands to his sides. “OK.” He said quietly. He nodded.

Patrick dropped his hands from Ken’s shoulders. He stepped back two steps. Cleared his throat. Wiped his hands across his mouth. Then over his forehead, his fingers ran through his short hair.

Already tormenting himself for what he had allowed to happen. Disquieted by his body’s immediate and strong desire to fuck.

He knew David would be OK with it if he fucked Ken. But Patrick also knew that he would not be able to live with himself if he did it. David was enough for him. David was _more_ than enough for him. I’m not this guy. I’m not the guy who can _run free._

He folded his arms over his chest. He looked down at his feet. Then up over Ken’s shoulder at the restaurant.

“That was nice. Thank you.” Ken said.

“Yeah. It was.” Patrick said quietly.

“Patrick? Are you all right?” Ken’s fingers touched Patrick’s forearm. Lightly brushed his skin.

“Yeah. Yeah. I mean… It was just a kiss. Right?” Patrick’s eyes finally met Ken’s.

Ken smiled broadly. He nodded. “Just a kiss.”

They stood in the dark parking lot. Each working to gain control of his breathing.

“Do you feel like you have the answer to your question?” Ken asked.

Patrick pressed his lips together. He nodded. Then he let out a small chuckle and rubbed he back of his head with his hand. “I’m _gay_.”

Ken smiled. A toothy smile. A sweet smile. “And David? Will you tell him?”

Patrick nodded. His hands in his back pockets. “Yeah.”

“So, you guys are committed to making it work. Long term.” Ken commented as he took a step back.

“I’m going to marry him.” Patrick said. Then he huffed out a chuckle. “He just doesn’t know it yet.”

Ken took another step back. His hands in his pockets. “He’s a lucky guy.”

“I should… um…” Patrick motioned with his thumb to the door of his car.

“Patrick?”

“Hmmm?” Patrick’s eyes darted to meet his again.

“I wouldn’t mind being friends. If you feel like that’s something we could do… after… this.” Ken said. “Not just because of the grants… I feel like we have things in common.”

Patrick opened his car door. “You have my number. I’m happy to help with ideas for your grant proposal.”

Ken smiled broadly. “Thanks. I’d appreciate that.”

“But…” Patrick tilted his head. His expression serious. His voice quiet. “No dates. No kissing. No more kissing.” He shook his head.

Ken nodded. He smiled. “Agreed.”

Ken took another step away from Patrick.

“Ken.”

Ken looked up at Patrick. Raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.” Patrick held out a hand.

With a toothy, broad smile, Ken met Patrick’s handshake. “Go see David.”  
  
Ken turned and walked away from Patrick. Got into a sporty little red car. Patrick sat in his car. Checked his phone. No missed messages.

Did David not care what he was doing?

Was David going to be disappointed that Patrick didn’t take the opportunity to have sex with Ken?

Patrick put the car in gear and headed back to Schitt’s Creek.

++++++

He played no music.

His mind raced the whole way back to town.

_Nope. David isn’t the only one who can turn me on. That kiss did it for me._

_I should have rubbed one out before I went. My dick reacted way too quickly. I’ve been hungry all day._

_I need to tell David about the kiss._

_God that felt good._

_He’s going to be upset I didn’t have sex with him. He wanted me to ‘Run Free’ and ‘Be safe.’_

_I didn’t want to have sex with him._

_Why hasn’t David texted me?_

He drove to his building. Slowly climbed the stairs.

He entered his dark apartment. Moonlight and street lamps cast a glow across the room. He didn’t turn on the overhead light.

He tossed his keys and phone on the table. Went straight to the restroom. Relieved himself.

Stood at the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He grabbed his toothbrush. Toothpaste. Brushed his teeth. Rinsed. Brushed again.

He sat on the couch. Stared at the fireplace. Stared at the framed photo of David on the mantle. David. Standing behind the register at the store. Their store. Smiling.

_I love you, David Rose. I don’t want anyone else._

He went to the kitchen. Checked his phone. No messages from David.

Made himself a sandwich. Drank a beer and ate.

Sat at the table and stared at his bed. He thought about the last time he and David had sex. A quick romp before Patrick drove him home Sunday night.

He checked his phone. Still no messages. No missed calls. David wasn’t worried about him. David didn’t care what he was doing with Ken.

He rinsed his plate. Crossed the room. Sat on the side of the bed.

Picked up a book. Opened to the page where he left his book mark. He stared at the page. He couldn’t read it. Returned the book to the stack beside his bed.

David didn’t expect to see Patrick until they were at the store in the morning. Patrick couldn’t wait to see him. He _needed_ to see him. He wanted nobody in his arms but David. He didn’t want to wait to see him.

His heart raced. He needed to go to the motel to see David.

He stood. Picked up his keys. His phone. Left the apartment and raced down the stairs.

++++++

 _I hope he’s not disappointed in me_. Patrick thought to himself as he got out of his car.

He slowly walked to the door of David’s room.

He knocked.

David answered the door.

He sheepishly looked at David.

“Do I want to hear about it?” David asked. His eyes searched Patrick’s.

It took Patrick a moment before he could answer.

“I couldn’t do it.”

++++++

Patrick got out of the car at Ted’s. He opened the trunk and took out her overnight bag.

“Walk with me?” She asked him.

She took his arm and they walked slowly up the walk to Ted’s porch.

“I’ve never seen him so worried as he was tonight.” Alexis told him.

“Really? It was his idea. He was so adamant about me going on the date.” Patrick said.

“Next time? Just set some ground rules.” She said before she _booped_ his nose.

“There’s not going to be a next time.” Patrick said as they reached Ted’s door.

“You know, Patrick, sometimes? Sometimes David and I forget who we are with, and we pull a page from our old play book.” She took her bag from Patrick. “He worried about you all night.”

“He has nothing to worry about.” Patrick told her.

She kissed him on the cheek. “Have a good night, Button.”

++++++

He pulled the car over to the curb in front of his apartment building. It was late. He saw nobody outside.

Patrick put the car in park. They sat for a moment in total silence. He turned off the ignition. He looked out of the corner of his eye at David who sat completely still.

“Patrick.” David’s voice was soft. “You said you couldn’t do it.”

“Yeah.”

“What does that mean… exactly?” David asked him. The fingers of his left hand worried the rings on his right. “I know I was the reason you went. I know I don’t have a right to know. But… what did you mean?”

“I didn’t go in. I didn’t want to have a date.” Patrick said. He wasn’t sure where to start.

David nodded his head. “M’Kay. But… did you at least call him so he wasn’t just left waiting? There was no reason to be rude.”

“We talked. In the parking lot. He came out and saw me. We talked and… stuff.” Patrick said. His finger traced the lines of the Toyota logo on his steering wheel.

David shifted in his seat. He turned to look at Patrick. With a quiet, unsure voice he asked, “And… _stuff_?”

“David, I told him why you wanted me to date him…”

“I never said date.” David clarified.

“I told him why you wanted me to go out with him and told him about the spin the bottle game. My lack of… experiences with other guys….” Patrick watched David as he spoke.

David showed no emotion on his face. Patrick could not tell what David was thinking, or feeling.

Patrick couldn’t hold it in any longer. “We kissed. I kissed him, David.”

“Closed mouth or open mouth?” David didn’t seem surprised or upset. He seemed to just be asking.

“It… started…um?” Patrick paused. Took a deep breath. “Both. I guess open.” Patrick watched David’s face. Looked for any micro-expression he could find. He found none.

“How was it?” David asked.

“It was fine. Different.” Patrick said honestly.

They sat quietly. The cool air of the night began to settle around them.

“Did you get a hard-on?” David’s eyes did not leave Patrick’s. He saw Patrick’s eyes shift. Saw him start to blush.

“David.” Patrick whispered a scold at him.

“What? I’m asking how your body responded.” David told him flatly. Then he asked again, “Did you get a hard-on?”

“Yeah. I did. But I stopped it when I…” Patrick looked down at his hands. He didn’t finish his sentence.

“When you?” David asked.

“When I felt his dick press against me,” Patrick mumbled.

David nodded. His attention soon turned to his hands. Left fingers twirling the rings on his right hand again.

“David I’m sorry. I just didn’t _want_ to have sex with him.” The words rushed forcefully out of Patrick.

“What?!” David’s eyes flashed at him. He didn’t hide the shock on his face.

“You, you… you wanted me to have sex with him. I didn’t want to. So I didn’t. I’m sorry.” Patrick reached a hand out to touch David’s hand.

David jerked his hand away. “I _never_ said that I wanted you to _have sex_ with him!”

“David.” Patrick shook his head. “You told me to _run free_ and _be safe_.” He used air quotes when he said “Run free” and “Be safe.”

“M’Kay. I don’t know where the air quotes came from, but let’s put those away. Like… forever.” David rolled his eyes.

They sat quietly. Each lost in his own thoughts.

A sense of relief washed over Patrick. He was happy to learn that David didn’t want him to sleep with Ken. He was thankful that he had not moved past the kiss.

David took a breath. He turned his body to face Patrick head-on. “You thought by me saying to run free, that you should _fuck_ him?”

“You also said to _be safe_.” Patrick locked eyes with David. “I thought you were referring to the conversation about wearing a condom if I ever…”

“Yeah. I get it.” David interrupted him.

More silence. David rested his fingers on Patrick’s knee. Drew invisible circles on him. Patrick could tell that David was processing what Patrick had told him.

David nodded. “To be clear. You basically thought that I told you that you could fuck him and I’d be OK with it as long as you wore a condom.”

“Yes.” Patrick whispered. His eyes followed David’s fingers.

David tilted his head. Squinted his eyes. “Then… why didn’t you?”

When he spoke, Patrick’s voice sounded pained. “David, I didn’t want to.”

“But you wanted to French him in the parking lot of a Fuddruckers.” David couldn’t help but let the snark out in his voice. Another indication to Patrick that David was not completely on board with what had happened that night.

Patrick was relieved to hear the snark.

“First. It wasn’t a Fuddruckers and you know that.” Patrick pulled back one corner of his mouth in a slight grin. David rolled his eyes.

“Second. There’s a big difference between a kiss in a parking lot and sex.” Patrick said.

“Believe me. I know.” David said. “Like… a million times over, I know that.”

“And, I was operating under the belief that you told me that I should _run free_. So, when he offered to let me kiss him, I said yes. And, David, it was… it was affirming.” Patrick told him.

“Meaning?” David asked.

“Meaning… David… having another… man… in my arms… having my body respond to him. I wasn’t sure if it would be like when I kissed the girls. When I had to work myself up to respond. Or, if it would be like with you.” Patrick said.

“And?” David asked. Gently. Supportively. His hand reached out to hold Patrick’s.

“If there was a question, it’s not there anymore,” Patrick said quietly. “I’m gay, David. My body, it responded to another man.”

“You didn’t think you would?” David asked. David’s eyes traveled from Patrick’s eyes, to his lips, back to his eyes.

“I wasn’t sure. You’re the only one, David. You’re the only one that I immediately responded to. Ever. Without having been drunk or forcing myself to think about things so my body responds. That’s what I used to have to do Rachel and… the others.” Patrick said.

“So, you’re saying.” David’s eyes darted away from Patrick. He took a quick, shallow breath. “You’re saying your body responded immediately to him.”

Patrick whispered, “Pretty much. Yeah.”

“Do you wish you would have done more? Do you _want_ to do more with him?” David asked him. His voice gentle. While he worked to be understanding and supportive, his voice held an ounce of fear in it.

Patrick quickly shook his head no. He huffed out a laugh. “God no. Huh-uh.”

“Are you sure?” David asked. “I want you to be completely honest with me, Patrick.”

“I am. I am being honest with you, Babe,” Patrick said. “It didn’t feel right, David. I mean, yeah. My body responded. I’m not going to lie. It felt good. It felt really good.”

“OK.” David said with a note of exasperation in his voice.

Patrick chuckled, then continued, “But, holding him. His hands on me…”

“Wait.” David interrupted him.

Patrick looked at David. Waited.

“His hands on you.” David repeated the words.

Patrick waited. Made David ask the question.

“What does that mean?” David asked quietly.

“When we kissed, he rubbed the back of my neck. Grabbed my ass. Ran his hands over my chest. He touched the skin of my arm.” Patrick touched his fingertips to the skin of his forearm that was exposed by his rolled-up sleeve.

He watched the expression on David’s face change as he spoke. As he listed where Ken had touched him.

“Well, _he_ sounds like a handsy little man.” David made an attempt at being lighthearted.

Patrick chuckled.

“Did he touch your penis?” David asked.

Patrick shook his head. “No.”

“Where,” David coughed. Took a breath. “Where did you touch him?”

“The face. His back.”

Patrick waited as he watched David’s face make a trip through each of the emotions he was stifling.

“I apologize that I’m about to ask this…but... Did you… was it over his shirt or…”

Patrick smiled. “I didn’t feel him up, David. I didn’t put my hand under his shirt. My hands didn’t roam around his body.”

“Your hands on his face. Did he have…”

“No. Babe. I pulled him in for the kiss. That’s it. He was clean shaven.” It helped Patrick. It helped him to know that David had insecurities. He’d never really given Patrick any indication that he might be jealous of someone capturing Patrick’s attention.

David sat quietly. His fingers reached for the skin on Patrick’s forearm.

Patrick watched David’s fingers touch him. Felt the feather-light touches.

In a low voice, Patrick told him, “David. My body may have responded. But it didn’t feel right. Not like with you. We… you and me… we fit. _You_ make me feel right. You _always_ make me feel right.”

“M’Kay.” David’s curved lips pulled into his little side smile.

“I couldn’t wait to get home to you. I kept checking my phone and you didn’t text.” Patrick said. “So, I went home and ate dinner. Sat and waited to hear from you.”

“If we’re being honest? I was unsettled.” David admitted. “Really, quite worried.”

“About what?” Patrick asked. He reached over. He rubbed David’s knee through the tear in his jeans.

“Alexis got into my head. We didn’t set _ground rules_. Apparently, that’s very bad.” David said.

“Ken said the same thing.” Patrick said. Agreeing with David.

“See? He’s a smart guy.” David smiled. “Handsy. But smart.” A moment of levity.

Patrick chuckled.

He grew serious. He shook his head as their eyes locked. “David. I misunderstood what you wanted. If I wouldn’t have stopped…”

David pulled him in for a hug. “Shhh. No. No. It’s OK. It all would have been OK.”

He held Patrick. His hand stroking Patrick’s back. His whispers in Patrick’s ear. Soothing him. “It’s OK. It’s fine. I love you. I’ve got you. No matter what, it would have been OK. It’s OK, Patrick”

When David pulled back from the hug, he reached for Patrick’s hand. Held it in both of his own. David’s hand traced the line of a vein on the back of Patrick’s hand.

“David, I don’t want to do that again.” Patrick said quietly. “Go out by myself with another guy. I don’t want to do that again.”

David shook his head. “ _I_ don’t _want_ you to do that again.”

“For the record,” Patrick waited for David’s eye contact. “For the record, I’ve never wanted _you_ to do that.”

David shut his eyes and nodded his head. He fingered one of the buttons on Patrick’s shirt and then looked Patrick in the eye and whispered, “I know, Mr. Brewer. And I’m good with that.”

“So,” Patrick broached the subject, “What does that make the ground rule?”

“No side dates, for now.” David said, without hesitation.

Patrick sighed. Relief leaving his body. “Agreed. No side dates. For now.”

David leaned close to Patrick. They kissed. A soft, tender, sweet kiss.

David said quietly in Patrick’s ear, “I can’t promise you that I won’t ask for something in the future. If we want it, or need it.”

Patrick’s hand slid under David’s sweater and his fingers brushed the skin on his back. Chills ran down his side as David kissed him along the jaw. Under his ear.

“OK, Babe.” Patrick whispered to him. “We don’t have to solve that now.”

“OK.” David smiled as he kissed Patrick.

“So… we’re good?” Patrick asked.

“Almost.” David said.

“What?” Patrick asked. A subtle shaking of his head.

“First. Are _you_ all right, Mr. Brewer?” David asked him. His palm on Patrick’s cheek. His thumb brushing the scruff on Patrick’s chin. Concern in his eyes. In his voice.

“I’m good, David. Now that you know what happened. Now that I know you don’t want me to do that again.” Patrick nodded.

“OK.” David pulled him in for another kiss. “So… Mr. Brewer… I’m going to need you to get me upstairs and fuck me. I need you to take charge and fuck me.”

“All right. I can do that.” Patrick chuckled.

“The use of your belt will be optional… though strongly encouraged,” David teased. “But pain, Patrick. Pain is mandatory.”

“Pain.” Patrick whispered. His stomach did a flip-flop. His eyes moved rapidly over David’s face.

“Pain,” David nodded. “And only one word will stop it.”

“Apothecary.” Patrick said in a low voice as his eyes focused on David’s curved lips.

“Oh, yes.” David nodded. Flashed a toothy grin. “Yes, Sir.”

“I’ll get the door.” Patrick’s voice was low. “You wait.”

A tingle ran down David’s spine.

Patrick got out, rounded the car to David’s side. He opened David’s door and held a hand out to him.

When he stood beside him, Patrick shut the door and pressed David’s back against it. Pressed his body against David’s.

David’s bag thudded to the ground when he dropped it to fill his hands with Patrick. Patrick’s head in one hand. His back in another.

Patrick’s mouth hungrily opened for David. Lips. Tongues. They pressed together in a frantic need to be closer.

Patrick’s hands slid under David’s sweater to move over the warmth of David’s skin. One hand moved up his front. Patrick made a groan of pleasure as his hand made contact with the hair on David’s chest and David’s hand dropped to cup Patrick’s round ass.

“Please, Patrick. Don’t stop it. Even if you feel it’s too rough. I’ll say the word if it’s too much. I just want to feel it all tonight. All of it.” David openly pleaded. “I need it.”

Patrick pulled back slightly and, with his hand on David’s shoulder, roughly turned him. David’s front pressed to the car and Patrick pressed himself against David’s back.

There on the street in front of Patrick’s apartment. He ground his pelvis into the curve of David’s ass. He reached to kiss David’s neck. David tilted his head to allow Patrick the access he wanted.

Patrick snaked his hand around David’s waist. Under David’s sweater. Tucked into the front of David’s jeans. His lips sucked on David’s neck. David arched his back. Pressed his ass against Patrick.

Patrick’s fingers gripped David’s cock as best they could within the snug jeans he wore.

“Take me upstairs, Mr. Brewer.” David turned his head so that his lips could try to capture Patrick’s.

Patrick pulled back just enough to let David free from the pressure of his body. He leaned over and picked up David’s bag and found himself being pulled toward the apartment building. David had a hold of his hand and tugged at him.

David opened the door to the building and pushed Patrick ahead of him. Patrick opened the doorway to the stairs and, David behind him, began the ascent. When they reached the first landing, halfway between the first and second floors, David pushed Patrick into the corner.

With both hands on Patrick’s face, David possessively kissed him. Pressed firmly against him and held Patrick to him as his tongue fucked Patrick’s mouth. “Mine.” David whispered into his mouth.

Patrick moaned into David’s mouth. Patrick dropped David’s bag and his hands moved under his sweater. Grabbed the belt loops of David’s jeans. He tugged him forward. Pulled him closer.

David’s hands dropped to Patrick’s shirt and began to unbutton it. One. Two. Three. Four buttons. Unbuttoned. He tugged at the shirt. Untucked it. Unbuttoned the last button. His hands splayed across Patrick’s broad chest. His cool hands touching Patrick’s warm skin. He tweaked Patrick’s nipple.

Patrick’s mouth buried in David’s neck. Kissing him. Licking him. He lightly bit at him. Sucked. Started a hickey.

The door a half a flight above them opened. The door from the second floor. They heard footsteps and they stilled their bodies. David turned to face the stairs. His back to Patrick. Blocked Patrick from the view of whomever was coming down.

A man and woman walked down the stairs. Hand-in-hand.

“How’s it goin’,” the man said in a general greeting.

“Hi,” the woman said at the same time.

David smiled. “Have a good night.”

After the couple passed them and continued down to the first floor, David leaned over and picked up his bag. He started up the next flight of stairs. Patrick followed him.

They moved past the second-floor landing. When they reached the landing between the second and third floor, Patrick pulled David back to him. Wrapped both arms around David’s neck. Pulled him down to him for another kiss. His lips left David’s to trail along his jaw line. Up to his ear.

“I’m hungry, David.” He said in a low, quiet voice.

“Well, let’s take care of that.” David said.

Patrick roughly pushed David into the corner of the landing. Face first into the corner. David’s palms pressed against the two walls that joined together in front of him.

Patrick’s hands, again on the waist of David’s jeans. He roughly pulled David’s ass back against him.

David’s hands reached behind him, he tried to reach for Patrick.

“Put your hands on the wall.” Patrick said gruffly in his ear.

David did as he was told.

Patrick’s hands quickly worked to unfasten David’s jeans. He wanted David’s cock in his hands.

David’s head rolled back. He groaned with pleasure as Patrick’s warm hand grasped him.

Patrick’s left hand pressed against David’s chest, under his sweater. His right hand pumped up and down on the warm, velvety flesh of David’s hard cock. A firm grip under its head. His thumb teased the start of precum out of him.

David’s hands on the wall provided leverage as his ass pushed backward into the wall of Patrick that was behind him.

The door below them opened. The doorway from the second floor. Whoever had entered the stairwell walked down toward the first floor. Away from them. Patrick’s hand stilled. David’s hands pulled his sweater down. Patrick moved his hands off of David’s cock.  
  
They stood for a moment. Patrick breathing heavily onto David’s neck.

Patrick took a step back and gave David room to make a decision about whether or not to move.

David leaned over and picked up his bag. He took a few steps. Went partially up the stairs and turned and sat down. He set his bag beside him.

He fingered his own cock and he looked at Patrick who stood on the landing. Patrick took a step up and then dropped to his knees. Two steps below David.

He lifted David’s sweater and ducked his head. Pulled David’s cock into his mouth. David’s fingertips pressed into Patrick’s scalp. He scratched the nape of Patrick’s neck the way Patrick liked it.

Patrick’s tongue did that thing David liked. That thing where he ran it under the rim of the head of his cock. Dipped it into David’s slit; teased out more precum.

David leaned back. One elbow on the stair behind him. One hand on the back of Patrick’s neck.

Patrick sucked him in. Pulled off him. Sucked him in.

A door below them opened. It was far enough away that David knew it was the first-floor door to the stairwell. Footsteps ascending the stairs toward them.

“Patrick.” David whispered.

Patrick continued to do that thing with his tongue.

“Patrick.” David put both hands on Patrick’s head. Pulled Patrick off him. “Someone’s coming.”

Patrick looked up at David. Pupils in his eyes blown wide. His lips swollen and pink from their kissing. Damp from the precum and spit.

Patrick would have kept going had David not stopped him. And it took every ounce of self-control for David to stop him.

Footsteps continued to approach them up the stairs. Patrick heard them. He heard the voice of his neighbor, Katie.

Patrick reached a hand for David, who grabbed it and stood. Patrick handed David the bag. David held it in front of himself. Turned and headed up the stairs with Patrick trailing immediately behind them.  
  
David reached the doorway to the third floor. Opened it and motioned for Patrick to move ahead of him. Patrick ducked into the hall and walked quickly to his apartment door. Patrick fumbled with his keys. David stood behind him. One hand around Patrick, inside Patrick’s open shirt. His thumb slid over Patrick’s nipple.

They stumbled into the apartment as Patrick opened the door. David tossed his bag onto the small kitchen table. Patrick shut the door. Locked it.

Patrick pulled David to him. Turned so that David’s back was to the door.

David’s hands on Patrick’s face pulled him in for a crushing kiss. David licked the taste of himself off Patrick’s lips.

Patrick’s hands tucked into the back of David’s opened pants. His hands full of David’s ass, he massaged David and pulled his pelvis forward. Pressed their bodies together.

David’s cock felt the softness of his sweater, the coarseness of the denim of Patrick’s jeans, and the harshness of the zipper of his own jeans.

Patrick wanted to take David to his bed and slowly, meticulously worship every curve and edge of David’s body. But there would be time for that later. He knew what David wanted. What David asked for. He was going to give it to him.

He released David from his grasp.

“Condoms. Lube.” Patrick commanded.

David moved to the table and opened his bag. Retrieved what he was told. Set them on the table beside his bag.

He looked at Patrick. Tight jeans. Unbuttoned shirt. He smiled at Patrick.

Patrick put a hand on David’s chest and walked; pushing David to walk backward until his ass backed into the kitchen counter.

“Who do you belong to, David?” Patrick asked in a rough voice.

David’s eyes trailed down Patrick’s body. Watched as Patrick’s hand unfastened the buckle on his belt.

“You.” David whispered.

“Who?” Patrick’s hand paused.

“You, Sir.” David said a little louder.

“And, who do I belong to?” Patrick asked him.

“Me. You belong to me.” David said.

Patrick yanked on the belt and pulled it swiftly out of his jeans.

“I may belong to you,” Patrick said roughly. “But you’re not going to fucking tell me what to do.”

“Yes, Sir.” David said. His breath caught in his chest.

“I’m the one in charge here.” Patrick said.

“Yes, Sir.” David said. Working to keep the grin off his face.

Patrick, belt still in his right hand, moved close to David. He pressed forcefully against him. His left hand grabbed a handful of David’s hair and pulled.

He placed small, gentle kisses along David’s jawline. Reveled in the feeling of David’s stubble on his lips. When his mouth reached David’s ear, he told him gruffly, “If you don’t do what I tell you, you’re going to be punished. Do you understand?” He pulled on David’s hair again.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Suck. My. Cock.” Patrick said.

David didn’t move.

Patrick took a half step back. Pulled the belt through his hands. Folded it and smacked the leather strap in the palm of his hand.

“David. Suck my cock.” Patrick said again.

David pulled his lips into his mouth and bit down. He slowly shook his head from one side to the other and back.

One of Patrick’s hands moved to David’s shoulder and roughly turned him around. In the same movement, David felt the belt smack him one time on the back of his thighs.

_SWACK!_

David did not move. He faced the kitchen cabinets in front of him. His hands pressed against the top of the counter.

“Turn around and suck my cock.” Patrick said.

David remained still. He knew that Patrick couldn’t see the smile on his face.

 _SWACK! SWACK!_ The two harsh swats landed on his ass.

Patrick turned David after having hit him two more times. He pressed on his shoulder.

“On your knees, David.”

David dropped to his knees. “Yes, Sir.”

David’s hands quickly unfastened Patrick’s tight jeans. He pulled them open and tugged them down far enough to release Patrick’s thick cock. Patrick groaned when it was released from the tight denim cage.

David licked his lips, but didn’t make a move.

“David.” Patrick looked down at him.

David looked up at him and said quietly. “No.”

Patrick hesitated briefly before using his open palm to smack David lightly on the side of his face.

David smiled up at him and asked, “Is that all you’ve got, Sir?”

Patrick took a split second to process what David was asking for. He took a deep breath. He exhaled.

Patrick pulled his right hand back and with force, he smacked David firmly across the left side of his face. David’s face turned with the force of it. He made a sound. A grunt.

David immediately moved to pull Patrick’s cock into his mouth. He hummed in satisfaction and made a sound of surprise when Patrick pulled out of him. Pushed David’s forehead and stepped back.

“Get me a chair.” Patrick said coolly.

David, still on his knees, reached toward a chair and pulled it over. Patrick tugged his pants down a little further and sat.

David sat back. His ass resting on his boots.

“David.”

“Yes?” David asked.

“Suck my cock.” Patrick demanded.

David looked at him defiantly. Held his breath.

 _SMACK._ Patrick’s palm landed flatly against David’s cheek, again. David grunted as his head turned with the force of the smack.

He immediately drew Patrick into his mouth. Pulled him completely in. Just the way Patrick liked it.

Patrick knew if he didn’t move, he would come and David wouldn’t get what he wanted.

When David was mid-suck, pulling Patrick in, Patrick stood. Pulled himself out of David’s mouth.

He held a hand down to David. “Get up.”

David did as he was told.

Patrick pushed him back against the kitchen counter. His hand held the back of David’s head as he ground his lips against David’s. A harsh kiss. He bit David’s bottom lip. David let out a yelp.

Patrick pulled back. “Are you complaining?”

Patrick retrieved his belt from the floor and folded it in half. “Turn around.”

David did as he was told and was rewarded with three swats from the belt on his ass. SWACK! SWACK! SWACK!

Patrick reached around David. His fingers gently drew a line up David’s cock. Up the line of the vein on its underside. Into David’s ear he said quietly, “The only sounds I want to hear are _Yes, Sir_ and sounds of pleasure. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Patrick dropped the belt and his hands caressed David. His right hand, gently stroked his cock. Cupped his balls. Toyed with his taint. His left hand ran under David’s sweater and ran through the hair on his chest. He rested his forehead between David’s shoulder blades.

David was still… until he wasn’t. He arched his back. Silently begged Patrick for more.

Patrick roughly turned David around. Pushed him back against the cabinet. Patrick saw a small trickle of blood on David’s lower lip. Knew he had broken the skin when he bit him.

David’s tongue darted out and licked at the blood.

Patrick’s hands moved to either side of David’s face and he pushed himself against David. His lips hit David with force, at first. And then grew tender. He pulled David’s lower lip into his mouth and sucked it gently.

David pressed his hands against Patrick and shoved him away. “No.” David said.

Patrick stood with his hands at his side. He worked against his every instinct. _No means no._ The lesson his dad drilled into his head since he was a boy. _No means no. But not tonight. The only word that means no is Apothecary, Patrick. Keep going._

“No?” Patrick asked.

David lifted his chin in defiance. The light in his eyes danced.

Patrick moved quickly and David stepped backward. Patrick’s hand on his chest pushed him further. David crashed into the cart near the sink. Liquor bottles knocked together. One fell over.

“Don’t you fucking tell me what to do, David.” Patrick said. His voice harsh.

He reached for David. His hand on the back of David’s head. He felt David’s head press backward. Working to pull away from Patrick’s impending kiss. But, Patrick’s arms were stronger than David and he was able to push David’s head forward.

Their mouths met with a force that caused both to feel pain. Teeth and lips collided. Patrick licked at David’s lip. Began to pull it into his mouth to suck it again when, suddenly, David pulled Patrick’s lip into his mouth and bit down. Hard.

“Damit, David.” Patrick pulled back from him.

He saw the fire in David’s eyes. He knew what David wanted.

Without hesitation, Patrick smacked David across the face with a force that caused David to reach behind him to steady himself.

David stilled. “Thank you, Sir.” He whispered. “I deserved that.”

Patrick stood. His breath ragged. Torn about what he should do. David’s lip continued to bleed.

Patrick felt a dampness on his own lip. He swiped the back of his hand over his mouth and then looked. Blood on the back of his hand.

David was silent. His body still, other than his chest working to take in a steady breath.

“Get me a fucking chair.” Patrick demanded.

David moved the chair a little closer to Patrick. He stood behind it.

When Patrick sat down, David ran his fingers through Patrick’s hair. Patrick shut his eyes and rolled his head back. He looked up at David who leaned down and gently pressed his lips to Patrick’s.

Patrick’s breath steadied.

“On your knees, David.” Patrick’s voice sounded tired. 

David moved to sit between Patrick’s knees. Patrick’s erection was waning fast. David’s mouth pulled him in. His tongue did that thing. Pressed flat against the underside of Patrick’s cock. Wrapped around Patrick as he lapped at his shaft. His lips circled him and then his tongue danced over its head.

“God, David.” Patrick said quietly. His hand on David’s head.

David pulled off him. He looked up at Patrick. Saw the exhaustion on his face. “Please, Patrick. Please fuck me. Please.”

Patrick moved forward on the chair and kicked it back. He fell to his knees in front of David. His hands on David’s waist, he pulled him close.

Their kiss started as a tender meeting of the lips. But when Patrick’s hand dropped to wrap around David’s cock, David’s hands wrapped around Patrick’s shoulders. The fingernails of one hand scratched the back of Patrick’s head.

Patrick frantically tugged at David’s sweater. Worked to take it off of him.

“You want my sweater off?” David asked him. The surprise evident in his voice.

Patrick pulled it over David’s head. Tossed it up on the table. Leaned toward the table to retrieve the condom and lube David and placed there.

He dropped them on the floor and pulled David back into his arms. David willingly wrapped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders. Smiled as he opened his mouth for Patrick’s kiss.

Both men still on their knees. Their bare chests pressed together. Patrick’s hands worked into the back of David’s jeans. He pushed them down. Down his thighs. He moved his hand between them to grip David’s cock.

“Fuck me, Patrick.” David asked again before he bit into Patrick’s neck. Sucked him. Marked him.

Patrick pushed David back.

David sat. His bare ass on the floor. Patrick moved back and tugged off David’s boots. Tugged off his jeans. His socks.

David opened the condom and, with one hand, worked Patrick’s thick cock. Then rolled the condom down over it.

Patrick pushed his tight jeans down further. Down to his mid-thigh. Shirt still on; open. His skin was flushed. David’s eyes didn’t stop raking up and down Patrick’s body. Patrick liked watching David look at him with lust in his eyes.

David opened the lube. Ran it along Patrick’s cock. Lubed it.

“Fuck me.” He said again.

Patrick pushed David back. David drew his knees up and rested first one leg, then the other on Patrick’s broad shoulders.

Patrick lined up his cock. Knew David didn’t want him to stretch him. Didn’t want him to hesitate.

Patrick slowly, but without pause, pushed into him.

David groaned loudly. Head thrown back. Eyes shut. “Fuck, yes.”

As he pushed into him, David began to move on the floor under him. The pressure of Patrick’s body scooting David away.

Patrick slid his hands under David. Up his back. He hooked his hands over the back of David’s shoulders and pulled David toward him.

Patrick pulled out an inch and pushed back into him. Then pulled out more and pushed into him. Long smooth strokes.

Still holding David’s shoulder with one hand, he reached for the lube and applied more at David’s hole. Dropped the bottle and returned his hand back to David’s shoulder.

He roughly pulled David toward him. He pulled out and then when he’d push in, he’d pull David to him again.

David linked his feet behind Patrick’s head. Pulled him closer.

“God. Fuck, yes, Patrick. Fuck.” David bucked his hips and rode Patrick’s rough movements.

David hands made their way inside of Patrick’s shirt.

“This is my chest, Patrick. Mine.” David’s hands splayed across Patrick’s broad chest. He pinched both of Patrick’s nipples.

“Yours.” Patrick panted out the word as he continued to quickly and roughly fuck David on the kitchen floor.

“You’re mine.” Patrick grunted. “You’re. Fucking. Mine.”

David reached a hand between them and began to jerk himself off. Reveling in the pounding Patrick was giving him.

It didn’t take long before Patrick felt David tense below him. Let out a string of words and sounds all rushed together. Felt him come. And Patrick followed. As his body stiffened and he felt the wave wash over him, he came into the condom. Pushing into him one more time and calling David’s name.

Patrick collapsed onto David. He buried his face in David’s neck. He shifted his body slightly so David could release his legs. They settled around Patrick’s waist. His feet locked at the ankles behind Patrick’s back.

As their bodies stilled, Patrick leaned up and kissed him. He held the base of the condom to his cock and pulled out of David. A slick mess fell to the floor. He quickly took off his shirt and first wiped David’s stomach, then his hand. Then he swiped his shirt over the mess on the floor. He tossed his shirt under the table. Tossed the condom with it.

David huffed out a laugh. “You’re such a gentleman.”

“Just takin’ care of business.” Patrick teased. He reached out a hand and David took it. Sat up.

Patrick looked at him. David Rose. Sitting naked and completely fucked in the middle of his kitchen floor. One side of his face a bright red from being hit multiple times.

Patrick reached a hand up to softly touch him.

Upon seeing the concern in Patrick’s eyes, David whispered, “That was _exactly_ what I wanted, Baby. Thank you.”

“You all right?” Patrick whispered. His thumb gently touched David’s lip.

David smiled and pulled Patrick close for another kiss. He murmured against Patrick’s lips, “Yes, Baby. Yes.”

Patrick struggled to his feet as best he could with his pants around his knees. He stood. Pulled up his pants. Flaccid cock still mostly hanging out.

David looked up at him. Patrick wondered what he was thinking. But he could tell by the smile on David’s face – that little smile that pulled to the left side of David’s face – that he was happy.

Patrick held out a hand and David took it. Pulled himself up.

“Go shower. I’ll clean up.” Patrick said. He swatted David’s ass as he headed to the shower.

He watched David walk away. As the moonlight came in through the window and lit David’s body, Patrick saw the stripes left by the belt across David’s ass.

++++++

As David finished up his shower, a naked Patrick came into the bathroom. He relieved himself and then stepped in behind David. David did a final rinse and kissed Patrick before stepping out.

“Made a sandwich for you. On the table.” Patrick called out to him.

David, one towel wrapped around his head and one wrapped around his waist, told him, “Thank you, Mr. Brewer.”

And while Patrick showered, David sat at the table and ate his sandwich and drank the glass of wine Patrick had poured for him. He realized Patrick had put David’s bag on his side of the bed. Beside it sat his sweater and jeans. Folded neatly. His boots sat side-by-side near the door.

David thought about Patrick. Patrick Brewer. The only man David had ever been with who cared more about David than himself. As great as the sex had been that evening, David knew it was not in Patrick’s comfort zone.

Patrick emerged from the bathroom. Towel around his waist. He sat at the table with David to eat his sandwich. David got up and went to the refrigerator and pulled out a beer and handed it to Patrick.

“Do you hurt? Do you need something for the pain?” Patrick asked quietly.

“Please.” David waved his hand. “I’m fine. Stop worrying.”

“It felt wrong hitting you.” Patrick took a bite of his sandwich. This was not the first time they’d had this conversation.

“We were playing. I asked you for it. You’re not abusing me.” David tried to convince him, again, that it was fine.

“I don’t know. It’s one thing to smack you in the ass. I… it didn’t feel right hitting your face. What if that bruises. You’re red there.” Patrick leaned across the table, his fingers gently touched David’s face.

“It will be fine tomorrow.” David said. He stood and took his empty plate to the sink. Finished his glass of wine.

“What about your lip?” Patrick asked.

“What about _your_ lip?” David challenged.

Patrick said nothing more. He continued to eat his sandwich.

David went to the dresser near the bed. Leaned over to _his_ drawer. Pulled out his Ninja Turtle underwear and slid them on. He took his towel back to the bathroom. Toweled his hair. Ran his fingers through it.

He walked back to the bed. Pulled back the blankets and sat. Waited for Patrick.

Patrick took his towel to the bathroom and walked, naked, to the bed.

“Play me a song?” David asked him.

Patrick picked up his guitar and sat beside David on the bed. Crossed his legs under himself and faced David who lay curled on his side. David rested a hand on Patrick’s knee.

“What do you want to hear?” Patrick asked. Assuming he wanted to hear their song.

“What have you been working on lately?” He asked.

“A few things.” Patrick grinned.

“Something slow and sweet.” David said.

“OK.” He said quietly.

[His fingers began playing](https://youtu.be/FjXsTkPJKfA).

_When I wake up, well you know I'm gonna be,_  
_I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next you_  
_When I go out, well you know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you_  
_When I get drunk, well you know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you_  
_And if I haver, well you know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who's havering with you_

_And I would walk 500 miles_  
_And I would walk 500 more_  
_Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles_  
_To fall down at your door_

_When I'm working, well you know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you_  
_And when the money, comes in for the work I do_  
_I'll pass almost every penny on to you_  
_When I go out, well you I know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who’s going out with you_  
_And if I grow-old, well you know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you_

_And I would walk 500 miles_  
_And I would walk 500 more_  
_Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles_  
_To fall down at your door_

_Da da da - Da da da_

_Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da_

_Da da da - Da da da_

_Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da_

_When I'm lonely, well you know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you_  
_And when I'm dreaming, well you know I'm gonna dream_  
_I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you_  
_When I go out well you know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you_  
_And when I come home, well you know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who's coming home to you_

_And I would walk 500 miles_  
_And I would walk 500 more_  
_Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles_  
_To fall down at your door_

Patrick let the last note hang in the air. He leaned over to the edge of the bed and set his guitar down. Leaned it against the wall.

David pulled the blankets back on Patrick’s side of the bed.

Patrick moved close to David who stretched his body long and wrapped his arms around Patrick’s neck.

“That was beautiful.” David said.

“Thank you.” Patrick kissed him. A simple, brief kiss.

“Promise me something?” David asked.

“Anything.” Patrick said, without hesitation.

David rolled away from Patrick. Asking with his body to be spooned. Patrick tucked in behind him. His hand moving to David’s chest. His fingers playing with the chest hair he found there.

“Promise me you’ll never stop singing to me.” David said.

“I will never stop singing to you.” Patrick said. He peppered David’s shoulders with kisses.

David’s hands held onto Patrick’s forearm. He wiggled his body against Patrick. Getting comfortable.

Patrick rested his forehead against the back of David’s neck.

“Good night. I love you.” Patrick murmured. He was exhausted. The emotions of the day had finally left him wrung out.

“Yes. Love you, too… but will you sing one more?” David asked. He turned his head as far as he could so he could see Patrick. He flashed him a toothy grin.

Patrick chuckled. “What song do you want to hear?” He asked.

“I think you know the answer to that.” David said. Settling back on his pillow. Shutting his eyes.

Patrick kissed his shoulder again. He leaned up on his elbow and tightened his other arm around David. He began to sing softly over David’s shoulder.

_I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire_ _  
You come to me, wild and wired_

As David’s breathing became rhythmic and he began to relax in his arms, Patrick thought about the rings. The four gold rings that were tucked deep into his closet with his baseball things.

_Give me a life time of promises and a world of dreams_ _  
Speak the language of love like you know what it means_

As David’s body relaxed and he felt himself drifting to sleep, he let go of the last bit of fear he held. The little tiny nugget of worry about Patrick leaving him. David let it go.

_Just as long as I’m here in your arms I could be in no better place_  
_You're simply the best, better than all the rest_  
_Better than anyone, anyone I ever met_

Patrick continued to sing even after he knew David was asleep. When he finished the song, he snuggled against David. Let his fingers trace a trail through David’s chest hair. He inhaled through his nose, bringing David’s fragrance into his body. Pressed his forehead against David’s back.

And he let himself fall to sleep. Content knowing that David was as afraid of losing him as he was of losing David. Satisfied that they had set a new course for their journey that night. Firm in his knowledge that when he asked David to marry him, David would say yes.

++

End Part 2 of 2

++


	16. David's Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Patrick's date with Ken. After Patrick and David's rough sexual encounter in the kitchen, David finds himself awake in the middle of the night. He ponders what happened. He questions why. David is forced to wait until Patrick is ready to talk. In the meantime, while he reviews footage on the store's new security system, he sees a face that he's seen before. Eventually, Patrick is ready to talk. David and Patrick have a truth telling moment that leads to high stress. Patrick consults with a friend. Eventually, both men find the connection they need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between 5.06 and 5.07. 
> 
> ****WARNING****  
> Anxiety Attack is described in detail in this chapter. If reading about anxiety or panic attacks are a trigger for you, consider not reading this chapter.  
> ****WARNING****  
> Discussion of the rough sex that was described in previous chapter. (Rough = shoving, biting, hitting, spanking with a belt, bruising, bleeding). If debriefing rough sex is a trigger for you, consider not reading this chapter.  
> **END WARNINGS**
> 
> ++  
> The last two chapters dealt with some topics that brought about discussion, both here in the comments section and in private communications. I appreciated those discussions and am glad readers feel comfortable reaching out to me. Those discussions are welcome, as always.  
> ++
> 
> A note about David:  
> David had anxiety when he first came to Schitt's Creek, and I think we see it surface a few times in the show. I've certainly brought it up in my work. Over the course of the next few chapters, part of the story line will focus on David's mental health. I will commit to leaving warnings (as I do). If reading such work is troublesome to you, I encourage you to step away from LOL for a few chapters, and/or seek the support of a qualified therapist in your area. *Red heart emoji*  
> ++
> 
> There's only one other thing left to say here, and you don't need to hear me pontificate over it.  
> The bottom line is: BLACK LIVES MATTER. 
> 
> Stand up. Be safe.  
> PD
> 
> ++

++++++

David woke in the middle of the night. After relieving himself and wrapping up in Grandma’s quilt, he sat on the stool at Patrick’s desk and watched him sleep.

Patrick lay on his back. One hand back behind his head. The other resting on his bare chest. A sliver of light from outside shone across him. David watched his chest rise and fall with the steady deep breathing of a man deep in sleep.

David thought back over the previous day. He chastised himself for encouraging Patrick to ask Ken on a date. He knew, deep down, that Patrick didn’t want to go. But if he were being truthful? The day before, when he was in the moment? David felt like he needed to give Patrick a little push. Give him the go ahead. See what happened.

He knew. David knew he did it because he was worried. Patrick had never experienced being with another man. And the worry sat in the back of David’s mind. What would Patrick do when he got used to it all? Got used to being with David. Would he wonder about being with someone else?

David hadn’t truly been honest with himself until his talk with Alexis. He had to acknowledge there was a part of himself that was just waiting. Waiting for Patrick to find the opportunity to go. Or, at a minimum, ask to… _test drive_ another _model of car_.

After all, it had happened before.

People always left their relationship with David to explore their options. It hadn’t dawned on him until he talked with his sister that if Patrick explored his options, he might find the other option more palatable. This whole experience was likely a case of self-sabotage.

As he watched Patrick sleep, his mind kept going over it all. He tried to make sense of it. He wasn’t sure he’d ever admit it openly, but maybe he wanted to test Patrick. Lately, things had been wonderful between he and Patrick. Perfect, really. For months. Other than a few hiccups at the beginning, they’d easily weathered every relationship hurdle. And David had very few worries left, in regard to Patrick.

Maybe he was feeling proud of that fact. Maybe he wanted to take the opportunity for Patrick to see a dangling carrot (so to speak) and refuse it, because he had all he needed with David.

So, when Ken walked in and it was very clear to David that Ken and Patrick hit it off. He seemed nice. Cute. Gentle. Innocuous. It just seemed like a logical thing to encourage him to ask Ken out. There was nothing, really, to worry about.

David hadn’t expected panic to emerge when Alexis started talking with him about _Ground Rules_ and how his plan was not _flawlessly executed_.

David’s mind went back to the night they’d had. When Patrick had finally arrived at the motel, told David he didn’t want to see other people, David had allowed himself to exhale. For a moment.

After the difficult conversation in the car, David knew. He knew that Patrick was never going to lie to him about seeing someone else. It was a feeling he had deep in his gut. If Patrick was _that_ upset over kissing another man. _That_ upset over a little groping. Patrick was not going to hide an affair from David. And, really, wasn’t that all David wanted? Honesty?

He also thought about Patrick saying that when he kissed Ken, it turned him on; yet he stopped. He stopped even though he thought David had encouraged him to fuck Ken. If that was all true, David surmised that Patrick was showing him that he was not likely to cheat. Period.

Or at least, that was what swirled around in the forefront of David’s mind in the middle of the night after the roughest sex he’d had with Patrick. Possibly among the rougher sex he’d had… ever. Well, consensually, anyway.

David thought about how they made their way from Patrick’s car to his apartment. His dick stirred at the thought of them making out on the stairs. They were nearly caught by the neighbor.

He pulled the quilt tightly around his shoulders. He looked at Patrick. Saw the slight swell on the left side of his bottom lip. He thought about it all. Asking for pain. David had not done that before with Patrick. He wasn’t really sure why he did it. He wasn’t particularly motivated by pain. Never really fantasized about it.

Sure, he’d liked the belt in the past. Liked a few swats doled out by Patrick while he was taking charge. Not that they did it very often. And not that any of their rougher sexcapades had every really finished as such. But when Patrick swatted him those times before, it hadn’t hurt David. Didn’t leave marks.

This time it hurt. _A lot._

David wasn’t sure why he pushed Patrick the way he did. When they’d done it before, he may have egged-on Patrick to get a swat, but he’d never pushed Patrick to spank him more than a couple of times in the ass.

He’d never imagined Patrick hitting him with much power behind it. David couldn’t stop himself when he was on his knees and looking up at Patrick. Couldn’t stop himself from seeing what kind of punishment Patrick would give him.

When the first, light slap across his face happened, David immediately pushed Patrick for a harder slap.

 _Why did I do that? I’ve never done that._ David thought to himself.

He thought about the bite. The pushing. The shoving Patrick off him when Patrick wanted to lick David’s bloodied lip. A gut reaction if David ever had one.

And then he thought about biting Patrick. Hard. David hadn’t planned it. Regretted it instantly. Knew it shocked Patrick. But he had done it on purpose. It wasn’t an accident.

Patrick had given him everything he had asked for. Complete with fucking him roughly on the kitchen floor. David had liked that part. Patrick was sexy when he fucked David fast and rough. And dirty.

And when he was being fucked like that, David had little time to get lost in his own thoughts. When it was fast, rough, and dirty he was _present_. Walls up. No emotions. Just feeling a good fuck through to the finish. Being taken by a strong, sexy man. Just like he’d always liked it.

A feeling washed over him as he watched Patrick sleep. Watched his face, slack in his restful state. Listened to his snoring. Watched his chest rise and fall. Peaceful. He regretted what had happened earlier. He didn’t understand why he asked for it. But, more importantly, he regretted that he did that to Patrick.

 _Patrick_.

He made a noise. A snort. Took a breath and then made a low moan and continued sleeping.

 _You did that for me tonight. You hated it. I know you did_. David’s brain spoke to Patrick.

 _My god I love you_. David thought as he stared at Patrick’s face. His shoulders. His chest. His hands.

_I’m terrified at how much I love you._

++++++

Patrick rolled onto his right side. Curled his body. Pulled the covers up over his shoulder. He lifted his head and adjusted his pillow and was startled when he caught sight of David’s shadowy figure sitting beside the bed.

“David?” Patrick sat up. “You OK?”

“I’m fine.” David said. He shivered.

“What are you doing up?” Patrick asked him.

“Couldn’t sleep.” David whispered.

“What time is it?” Patrick rubbed his palm over one of his eyes. David liked when Patrick did that. It made David wonder if Patrick did that as a child.

“2:30,” David said.

“Come to bed. Come on.” Patrick patted the mattress behind him. David’s side of the bed.

“Huh-uh,” David shook his head. He stood and took a step toward the bed. He waved his hand toward Patrick, “Move over.”

“David, this is my side of the bed.” Patrick told him in a halfhearted protest while he scooted backward to provide room for David to crawl into Patrick’s side of the bed.

“Your side is warmed up and I’m cold.” David draped Grandma’s quilt over himself after he pulled up the blankets. He sunk into the bed. Into the spot that was warm and smelled of Patrick. He sighed contentedly.

Patrick pulled the pillow out from under David’s head. “I want my pillow.”

David made a noise. “Mmrph.” He shot a look at Patrick who shoved David’s pillow under him.

“Here. This one’s yours.” Patrick said. He lay down and shut his eyes.

They snuggled in.

“Damnit.” Patrick sat up.

“What?” David asked him. Exacerbation in his voice as though it was _he_ who was inconvenienced by a middle of the night change in sleep positions. 

“I have to pee now.” Patrick walked, naked, across the room to the bathroom.

“Imagine,” David called after him. “I was just sitting here watching you sleep, thinking about how I couldn’t live without you.”

“What?” Patrick called over the sound of his bladder emptying into the toilet. “I can’t hear you.”

“Nothing.” David called to him. _God, when he urinates, it’s so loud. Why doesn’t he shut the door?_

“What?” Patrick asked as he flushed the toilet and stood in the doorway of the restroom.

“Wash your fucking hands.” David shot at him. He swapped pillows so he had Patrick’s again, and then and rolled over onto his right side and shut his eyes. He loved resting his head on Patrick’s pillow. It smelled like him.

When Patrick returned to the bed and snuggled up behind David, rested his head on the pillow, he knew David swapped them out. He kissed David’s shoulder and pressed his forehead against David’s back.

“I know you have my pillow.” Patrick murmured. He slid his hand down David’s side. Tucked it under his arm and rested it against David’s chest. They were facing the wrong way. The muscle memory of their position was not right. It didn’t feel right. To either of them.

“Shhh. I’m trying to sleep.” David whispered.

Patrick moved his hand down David’s side, outside of David’s Ninja Turtle underwear. He slid his hand just inside the leg and tickled him at the spot. Near the place where his thigh starts.

David laughed and swatted at Patrick’s hand. “Stop that.”

“Let me just…” Patrick reached for David’s dick.

David rolled away from him and swatted at his hand. He laughed. “Hey. Quit. It’s the middle of the night.”

They settled back in. Calmed down.

Patrick’s hand rested on David’s hip.

“Don’t you dare.” David whispered.

Patrick’s fingers wiggled over the spot on David’s side where if touched with just the right pressure, David was ticklish.

“Patrick.” David laughed and rolled to face Patrick. He immediately put his fingers on that spot on Patrick. On his side, just under his chest. “No means no.”

Patrick’s body folded into the touch of David’s fingers as he made a noise. Laughed.

Patrick rolled his naked body on top of David’s. The two men laughed.

Their eyes met.

The laughing stopped.

David’s legs parted to accommodate him. Only David’s underwear separated them. Patrick lowered himself so their chests touched.

Patrick kissed him. Slow. Gentle. Deep.

David’s heartbeat quickened. His cock matched the excitement shown by Patrick’s.

David wrapped his arms around Patrick. His hands brushed lightly over Patrick’s back. His legs curled up around Patrick’s waist.  
  
Patrick raised himself; up on his knees, bringing David with him. He moved over a few inches. Dropped David down. Placed David’s head on his own pillow. On _David’s_ side of the bed.

Patrick tugged on David’s arms and moved them so they were no longer latched around his neck. David’s legs dropped to the mattress.

Patrick leaned down and planted a kiss on David’s forehead. “There you go. Good night, David.”

And with that, Patrick moved to his side of the bed where his pillow lay waiting for him. He rolled over onto his right side, away from David and pulled the blankets up over his head.

David smiled into the dark room. Rolled to his right side. Scooted closer to him. Curled around Patrick for warmth.

David was the big spoon.

++++++

The jostling of the mattress woke David. Laying belly-down on the bed. Face tucked mostly into his pillow. David opened the one eye that peeked out into the apartment that was lit with the first rays of the morning.

Patrick’s back was to him, as he sat on the side of the bed. He was dressed. His snug, dark denim Levi’s. His grey sweater. He was bent over, tying his shoes.

“Mmmm.” David made sound as he stretched first one leg, then the other. “Is it morning already?”

“I’m headed to the store.” Patrick said. He stood. Put his wallet and his phone into his pockets.

“I’ll get up.” David said. He groaned as he rolled over onto his back.

“Go back to sleep. I can cover it.” Patrick said. He reached for his messenger bag. Tucked a few files he’d been working on for Ray into it. Slung it over his shoulder.

“I’ll get around. Be there in about an hour.” David said. His eyes shut. His arm flung over his face in an attempt to block out the sunshine coming through the window near the bed.

Patrick saw the sun ray and leaned to the curtain and tugged it closed to block it from hitting David’s eyes. “Thank you.” David rolled onto his side to look at him.

“Want me to leave the keys so you can drive over? I can walk.” Patrick asked. He dangled the keys in front of himself.

“I’ll walk. I need the exercise.” David mumbled.

Patrick shoved the keys into his pocket. He opened the drawer of his desk and pulled out his ear buds. He shoved those into his other pocket.

David’s lips curved into a smile. _How much can he fit into those pockets?_

Patrick shook his head. “What?”

“Nothing. I’ll be in soon.” David said. 

Patrick walked around the bed. Leaned down and planted a kiss on David’s forehead.

David reached up for him and pulled him down. Moved over so Patrick could sit on the edge of the bed.

As David looked into his eyes, he saw Patrick’s face soften. He ran his fingers through David’s hair.

“Are you OK?” Patrick asked him. His hand left David’s hair and his fingers lightly touched the left side of David’s face.

“I’m fine.” David nodded his head. He knew he should ask Patrick if he was all right. But David already knew. He knew Patrick wasn’t. And, now was not the time to discuss it.

Patrick’s thumb lightly brushed David’s lower lip. His eyes moved from David’s eyes to his mouth.

“Give me a kiss and go to the store.” David said. Working to pull Patrick out of his internal struggle.

With a swift, perfunctory kiss, Patrick was up and out the door.

++++++

David sat in the desk in the office and turned on the software. They had installed the cameras a few weeks prior. Every day since they had begun using it, David had practiced pulling up the live video feed to look at Patrick as he worked in the store. It amused David, because it annoyed Patrick.

More often, and to Patrick’s surprise, David completed the exercises the user manual recommended. Activities that included looking at previously recorded footage and scrolling to particular times of the day and clipping a few moments of the video to be saved. The manual said it was a good way to know how to find footage around particular incidences that the owner may want to use for, say, reporting a theft.

David moved the video feed that was recorded the previous day to just before Alexis arrived. He watched with amusement as he took in their interaction. Then, the video showed Ken come into the store.

He sat forward in his chair. Leaned his elbows on the desk. He squinted at the footage and watched Ken walk to the back corner where the baskets were displayed. David watched Patrick move toward Ken.

Over the previous weeks, when David looked at the video feed, he set it to move at an increased speed, watching for lingering customers and the like all moving comically fast throughout the store. But when be started to watch the recording of Patrick and Ken, he let the video feed roll at normal speed. He watched Patrick’s every move. He rewound a few times so he could watch with his focus on Ken.

Ken and Patrick shook hands. Patrick handed Ken product. Ken handed it back to Patrick. They laughed together. They talked with serious faces. Ken’s hand reached out to touch Patrick’s arm. Patrick would look toward David at the register. Cross his arms. Use his hands to articulate his thoughts.

For the half hour Ken was in the store ( _half hour!_ ), David’s eyes never left the computer screen. He watched their every move.

He jumped when he heard Patrick say from the doorway, “Hey. Can you come help, please?”

David quickly paused the feed. Shut the computer. Headed to help Patrick with the two carloads of women who had just entered store.

++++++

Patrick walked out with the last of them. His arms full of bags, boxes, and baskets of items. David’s face softened as he watched them go.

Since the weather had started to be nicer, Saturdays were busy with road trippers. Those people who liked to come to town and make a day of it. They spent time at the Apothecary. Ate lunch at the café. Visited the bakery down the street.

Sometimes the visitors were young, hipsters from the city. More often than not, they were women. Young, middle aged, and seniors.

And they loved Patrick. _All the ladies loved Patrick._  
  
David watched for a bit. Watched Patrick put the items in their trunk. Watched him stand and talk with them. His face seemed as though he was thoroughly engaged in the conversation. And knowing Patrick, he was. His hands tucked into his pockets or crossed over his chest. His face serious and shaking, or laughing and nodding.

David went back to the office, opened up the computer to finish watching the video feed from Friday. He watched the two of them, he and Patrick, alone. Talking.

David leaned forward. Something, someone caught his eye.

He rewound the video.

Played it again.

_What the fuck?_

He heard Patrick enter the store. The bell dinging. Heard the click as Patrick locked the door.

“Patrick?” He called.

David heard the register start to run the end of day sales.

“Patrick!” He called, louder. More serious.

Patrick poked his head into the office, “Yeah?”

“Come here. Look. Come see this.” David stood and pointed at the computer. Indicated for Patrick to sit in the chair he vacated.

“David. I don’t want to watch Ken. I know that’s what you’ve been doing in here this morning.” Patrick turned back to the register.

“Patrick Brewer. _Now_. Come here!” David said. “I need you to see something.”

When Patrick sat, David rewound the video again. To the moments when David and Patrick talked while Patrick shelved the candles. When they were in the conversation where David was encouraging Patrick to “Run free.”

“Right there. See him? That’s the guy!” David pointed at the computer screen. “That’s the guy that was in here back … what was it? 6 weeks? Two months ago?”

“What guy, David?” Patrick asked. He rewound the video feed to look at him again.

“Remember I told you? A guy came in when you were… somewhere. I don’t remember where you were. Remember, I told you? He thought he was being sneaky but I thought he took pictures? Of products? Of me?” David said.

“I remember.” Patrick nodded. He turned back to the computer. Rewound and watched it again. “I don’t even remember seeing him in here yesterday.”

“According to this he was only here for a few minutes. He doesn’t seem to be stealing anything.” David leaned on the back of the chair where Patrick sat.  
  
Patrick rewound it again. Leaned closer to the computer screen. “How did we not even _see him_?”

“We were a little deep in conversation.” David said a bit sheepishly. He scratched his fingers on the back of Patrick’s head.

“And you’re sure it’s him. Absolutely sure?” Patrick asked. He rewound it again.

“Yes. Yes. I mean… he’s had a change in hair style.” David said.

“Looks like yours.” Patrick said, looking up at David.

“Well… Let’s not get _crazy_. My hair is better than _that_.” David huffed out a dismissive laugh.

“At least I know what he looks like now.” Patrick said. “He may have been in here since then and I didn’t even know it.”

“What does he want?” David wondered out loud.

“Not sure. But I do know that _we_ need to pay better attention. He was in here that whole time and neither of us interacted with him. We can do better.” Patrick stood, nodded his head, and went to the register to finish shutting it down for the day.

David watched him go. Baffled that Patrick didn’t seem more upset about the situation.

++++++

Patrick tucked his head under the strap of his messenger bag. David stood by the door. “Ready for lunch?”

“You go ahead. I’ve got to go to Ray’s. Have some files to update for him.” Patrick dug in his pocket for the keys to lock the store.

“Oh. Well…. Hm… I didn’t know you had plans.” David hesitated.

“Is it problem?” Patrick asked. All business.

“No. No, no. You go.” David stepped outside. Held his black bag. Waited. Disappointed.

“Do you want to take the car?” Patrick held out his keys.

David smiled at him. He liked that recently, Patrick had been saying _THE_ car. Not _MY_ car. As though the two shared it.

“I’ll walk.” David nodded.

“You going home… or…” Patrick hesitated.

“I guess.” David shrugged.

“You can go to the apartment. Take a nap or something.” Patrick offered. “Shouldn’t be long.”

“Can I go with you to Ray’s?” David asked. He had assumed he and Patrick would do what they always did on a Saturday afternoon. Go into Elmdale, catch a movie, have lunch, go to a museum, or go home and take a nap. Something. So long as it was together.

“David, I’m gonna be working.” Patrick told him.

“He won’t care if I watch television, would he?”

Patrick sighed. “Maybe you shouldn’t. I mean… I don’t _live_ there anymore. I don’t know what he has planned. I don’t feel like it’s my place to invite you.”

“Oh. Sure. Yeah. I get that.” David nodded. He felt a bit foolish for asking.

“You can go to the apartment. I’ll only be a few hours.”

“M’Kay.” David nodded. “Sure. Yeah.”

David turned and headed in the direction of Patrick’s place.

“I’ll… see you later today,” Patrick called after him.

David held up a two-fingered peace sign and walked away.

++++++

David made a sandwich. Took it with him to the bed. Turned on the iPad. He opened up Interflix and scrolled through to the show. Sure, he’d seen it from start to finish at least a dozen times. But it comforted him.

He ate. Drank his soda. Watched the show.

_Next Episode? Yes, Please_.

 _Next Episode? Yes, Please_.

 _Next Episode? Yes, Please_.

_Are you still watching? Abso-fucking-lutely._

His mind wandered to Patrick. To the night before. He thought through all of it again.

He posted to the Apothecary’s social media pages. He checked his own feeds.

David had killed a few hours. Patrick had yet to return. Or call. Or text.

David left the apartment. Took a walk. Went to the park. Sat and watched kids play. Walked to the café. Sat at the counter where Twyla regaled him with a story of a party she had attended the night before while he drank his coffee and ate a cookie.

He made his way back to Patrick’s. It was late in the afternoon and he had yet to hear anything from Patrick. He went directly to the bed. Retrieved Grandma’s quilt. He wanted a nap.

++++++

David woke with a start when he heard the door open. The amount of light in the room told him it was already into evening hours. He sat up. Checked his phone. It was after 7.

 _Seven hours is not “a few hours.”_ He thought to himself.

Patrick set a pizza box on the table and slid his messenger bag off his shoulder. Walked it over to the desk.

“Did I wake you?” He asked David. “I brought a pizza.”

David, frustrated that Patrick had been away all day, wordlessly went to the kitchen and put several slices of pizza on his plate. He sat on the couch. Feet tucked in under himself.

“Thank you,” He whispered when Patrick handed him a glass of wine.

Patrick sat across from him in one of the armchairs. David watched him. It was clear Patrick wasn’t planning to talk to him. Or even look at him, for that matter.

They sat in silence. Eating. Both lost in thought.

When Patrick took David’s empty plate from him. David stood. “I guess… maybe I’ll go home, now.”

Patrick paused over the kitchen sink. “Why? I thought you were spending the night.”

“I think maybe you’re wanting to be alone.” David said quietly. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to hold Patrick. Talk with him.

“If you want to go home, I’ll take you. No need for you to walk,” Patrick said quietly. Then he turned and leaned against the sink, “But I’d rather you stay.”

David nodded. “I’ll stay.” He said quietly.

He waited. Watched Patrick dig through his drawers for a set of pajamas and then close the bathroom door behind him when he went in for a shower.

Not about to be shut out, David went into the bathroom. Ran the water in the sink to start his night-time skin care routine.

After the clay mask was applied, he lowered the lid on the stool and sat down. Watched through the glass shower door while Patrick showered. His back was to David and he didn’t realize he had an audience.

 _That ass._ David thought. _I love that ass._

Patrick turned around to rinse himself and caught sight of David. With water cascading over his face, Patrick pulled the corners of his mouth into a slight smile and he winked at David.

++++++

David left the restroom with the towel wrapped around his waist.

Patrick sat in his blue plaid pajamas near the fireplace, in one of the arm chairs. One leg crossed over the other. Bare foot wiggling. He read a book.

When David neared the dresser, he let the towel he wore fall to the ground and he bent over to get into his drawer for a pair of underwear.

“David.” Patrick’s voice behind him held pain in it.

David stood. Turned. He stood naked. A look of question on his face. “What?”

Patrick was soon standing beside him. David realized. He should have taken his clothes into the bathroom.

“Let me see.” Patrick turned David. His fingers lightly touched David’s ass. Then his upper thigh.

“What?” David asked again. A slight annoyance in his voice.

“David. God. These bruises.” Patrick whispered.

David turned toward Patrick. Turned so Patrick couldn’t see his ass. The back of his thighs. His hands rested on Patrick’s shoulders. “It’s fine. _I’m_ fine.”

Patrick’s eyes focused on David’s shoulder. Focused on the shelf of his t-shirts over David’s shoulder.

“K.” Patrick said. Nodded his head. He turned to walk away.

David reached out. Grabbed Patrick by the arm. “Patrick.” He whispered. “Patrick, _you’re_ not fine.”

Patrick looked, then. Looked into David’s eyes.

David noticed that the slight smile on his lips did not reach his eyes. He most certainly was not fine.

Patrick kissed David. A gentle, closed-mouth reminder that he was there. They were there… together.

“Let’s go to bed,” Patrick said. “Come on.”

 _Yes._ David thought. _Let’s go to bed. Let’s make love. Let’s make it better._

Patrick lay on his back. His arms behind his head. Stretched out on his side of the bed in the dark bedroom. His feet crossed at the ankle. His eyes closed.

David lay on his right side facing him. Patrick made no move to tuck around David. To touch him.

David scooted his body closer to Patrick. Tucked into him, under his arm. Rested his head on Patrick’s shoulder. His hand on Patrick’s chest.

Patrick unfolded his arm to accommodate him. Draped it around David. His hand resting gently on David’s back.

David dug deep down within himself. “We need to talk,” he whispered.

“I’m not ready, yet.” Patrick said. Then he added, “Give me just a little more time. I’m trying, David. I just… I have to think.”

David held Patrick’s hand. Kissed the back of Patrick’s hand.

As they lay there, David’s hand moved over Patrick’s pajama-covered chest. Rubbing back and forth. Circles. Patrick’s breathing becoming steadier as he relaxed.

David’s hand moved over Patrick’s crotch. There he found that Patrick’s body was showing interest in him. Eyes closed, he smiled into Patrick’s chest. He moved his hand and began to tuck it into Patrick’s pants.

“No, David. Not tonight.” Patrick said.

David’s hand stilled. Withdrew.

Patrick turned, then. Rolled over onto his right side. For the second night in a row, he faced away from David. He curled himself up.

“Can I hold you?” David asked quietly.

Patrick lifted his arm. Reached his hand back for David. Inviting David to be the big spoon.

++++++

While the room was still dark, David felt the mattress shift when Patrick got out of bed. David waited for him to return. He did not.

David sat up to look. Patrick sat on the couch, tying his hiking shoes.

“What are you doing?” David asked.

“Heading out for a hike,” Patrick said. “Go back to sleep.”

“What time is it?” He asked Patrick.

“5:00. I want to catch the sunrise.” Patrick stood and retrieved his backpack from the closet. Tucked into it a couple of bottles of water. A power bar. He pulled a sweatshirt on over his t-shirt.

“Be safe.” David said quietly as he padded, barefoot to the bathroom.

Patrick opened the door and stopped when David said his name. “Patrick.”

Patrick turned to look at him.

“How long do you need?” David asked him.

“For the hike? A few hours.”

“I’ll be here until 10:00. I won’t be here waiting for you all day like I was yesterday.” David told him.

“Noted.” Patrick nodded once.

David watched him shut the apartment door quietly behind him.

++++++

He slept soundly knowing his alarm was set to wake him. But, before the alarm rang on his phone. Before he heard any noises in the apartment. He smelled bacon.

He smiled into his pillow. Patrick was back from the hike, and he was making breakfast.

++++++

They sat at the table and ate. Patrick made him pancakes and bacon. They drank juice and ate quietly. Neither man said anything outside of _thank you_ , or _this is delicious_ , or _do you want more_.

Patrick cleared the table. David washed dishes. Patrick dried them; put them away. They were quiet.

Patrick folded the tea towel and draped it over the dish rack to dry. He looked up at David and immediately tucked into his arms.

David’s arms did what they do. Encased Patrick’s shoulders in a deep hug.

Patrick’s arms did what they do. Wrapped tightly around David. His palms pressed against David’s back. His face buried in David’s neck. David pressed his lips to Patrick’s temple. Kissed him. Held him tightly. Kissed his temple again.

David knew what he had to do.

“Truth telling moment.” David whispered into his ear.

“Yeah. I know,” Patrick nodded. “I’m ready.”

“Tell me about your hike.” David said quietly. He leaned back against the sink. Patrick leaned into him. He felt Patrick’s arms tightened around him.

“Watched the sunrise. Thought about the other night.” Patrick murmured.

“Tell me, Patrick.” His voice was soft. One of his hands stroked the back of Patrick’s head.

“I don’t want to do that again, David. I know you like it and you wanted it, but I didn’t and I don’t. I don’t want to do that again.” The words rushed out of Patrick.

“OK.” David nodded. He thought carefully before he asked, “What part?”

Patrick was quiet for a moment before he loosened his grip on David and pulled back. Looked up at him and said with a shrug, “I don’t know… all of it?”

David’s heart jumped into his throat. Fell down into his stomach. His breath caught in his chest.

He stepped away from Patrick. Walked away from him toward the couch. “I’m going to have to sit down, now.” He pointed at the couch before sitting on it.

Patrick followed him. Sat in the chair across from him. The arm chair nearest the bathroom.

David cleared his throat. “All of it?” He asked. His chin raised protectively. Bracing himself. He felt the panic rise in his chest.

_What exactly does he mean by “All of it?”_

“The… the whole… the whole damn day, David.” Patrick leaned back. Exhaled.

“M’Kay. Whoa.” David held his hands out in front of himself.

Patrick didn’t move. Didn’t say anything.

David’s mind raced. “What are we talking about here? Are we moving back to the whole Ken conversation?” David asked. His hands circling in the air in the direction of the door of the apartment, indicating everything that happened outside of the apartment.

“No. No, no. I don’t need to rehash the Ken stuff,” Patrick shook his head. “It was just a… it was a bad day.”

“Not so bad, maybe, if you got a hard on from Frenching the handsy little man in the parking lot of the T.G.I.Fridays.” David said, his voice heavily draped in snark.

Patrick didn’t even try to hide the smile that spread across his face. He shook his head.

David knew that Patrick was enjoying the jealousy he displayed.

“Wasn’t what I meant,” Patrick said. “But, it’s nice to know how you feel about it, given you were so insistent I go.”

“So… seriously. Are we rehashing that? Or are you just talking about it so you don’t have to talk about what you’re really upset about.” David had learned a thing or two in their past truth-telling moments and one thing was for sure. If given the chance, Patrick would change the subject to avoid a difficult one.

Patrick expelled a deep breath. He nodded. “You’re right. You’re right.”

David pointed a thumb over his shoulder. Pointed toward the kitchen. “What part was so upsetting to you.”

“I don’t know where to start.” Patrick leaned forward. His elbows on his knees. His head lowered. He looked at his feet. He reached down and untied his atrocious hiking shoes. Kicked them off.

David decided he might as well be the one to do it. He took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry I bit you. You didn’t ask for that.” David said. His voice soft. He pulled his feet underneath himself.

Patrick didn’t raise his head, but his eyes looked up at David. _God,_ it melted David when he looked at him like that. 

“What _was_ that?” Patrick asked.

David shook his head. Crossed his arms over his chest. He shrugged. He literally had no words.

“In the car…” Patrick’s voice was hesitant. “You… you asked me to not stop unless you used the safe word.”

“Mmhm.” David made a noise of agreement.

“When you shoved me. You said no.” Patrick said. “I _think_ you _meant_ no. I felt like… at the time… I _felt_ like you meant no.”

“I think, maybe, I did.” David said softly. His eyes averted. He looked down at his fingers.

“But, David. We agreed to the safe word.” Patrick said.

“We did.” David said.

“That’s why you bit me. You bit me to fight me off.” Patrick said. He stood and moved to the couch. He sat with one leg under himself. Facing David.

“I think maybe I did. I’m sorry.” David looked at Patrick’s chest.

“I don’t need you to apologize, David.” Patrick’s hand found David’s. Their fingers intertwined.

They sat in their silence. Both allowing their own thoughts to form.

“Babe…” Patrick stopped. He coughed to cover up the emotional crack in his voice. “David… Were there other… Did you mean _no_ any other time?”

David saw the anguish in Patrick’s eyes.

It was a subtle movement. David shaking his head. “I don’t think so?” He whispered. Uncertain. He felt Patrick’s fingers tightened around his.

“You don’t _think_ so.” Patrick sighed. He stood. He moved to the kitchen. Poured himself a whiskey.

“Patrick. It’s not even 11:00 am on a Sunday morning.” David commented.

“Your point is?” Patrick held the glass up to David and downed it. He sat down at the kitchen table. Elbows on the table. He looked at his hands.

David waited.

Patrick spoke. “When we were in the car. We agreed, right? Apothecary?”

“We did.” David said.

Patrick’s voice was quiet. “And you said… you asked me… you wanted pain. You said _pain is mandatory_. The belt was optional, but pain was _mandatory_.”

“Yes.” David was still.

“Whh…” Patrick made a noise and stopped. He stood and began to pace back and forth. From the bed to the kitchen table and back again.

David watched him. Knowing that what Patrick really wanted to do was leave the apartment. He expected Patrick to leave the apartment. Run.

David stood. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Patrick.”

“Nothing about that,… David. Nothing. Nothing about that felt right. I did it… because I trusted you when you said you wanted pain and we were using the safe word.” Patrick paced from the bed to the kitchen table. “I should have listened to my gut.”

Patrick faced the apartment door, then turned abruptly and walked briskly across the room to the bathroom. He went in and shut the door.

David watched him go. Watched the door shut. Knew it was Patrick needing space. Needing time to think. Knew that it was Patrick working hard to not leave the apartment.

David went to the kitchen. Drank some water. Went to the bed. Pulled up the covers. Made the bed. He turned to the shelf of Patrick’s t-shirts. He refolded a couple of them that needed it. He reorganized them. Put them together by color. He turned when he heard the bathroom door open.

Patrick sat on the couch. “I’m sorry. I needed a minute.”

David quickly crossed the room. Sat beside Patrick. “It’s OK.”

The room was quiet. David tried to think about what to say next. On the table, his phone vibrated with an incoming text. He ignored it.

Patrick spoke first. “You have bruises on your ass, David. I put them there.”

“You have bruises. I put those hickeys on your chest.” David countered.

“Not the same thing, and you know it.” Patrick told him.

“I asked you to spank me because I like it.” David said, trying to make it better. 

His phone vibrated with another incoming text. He ignored it.

“I’m not going to hit you with a belt again. I’m not.” Patrick’s voice was stern. Adamant.

David didn’t hesitate to say, “If that’s what you want.”

“Why did you tell me you needed pain?” Patrick asked him.

“I don’t… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” David said trying to avoid the conversation. His eyes rolled and he looked toward his phone when he heard it vibrate on the table with another incoming text. There was too much happening for him to concentrate on the conversation.

_Who the fuck is texting me?_

“Yes, you do. You said pain was mandatory.” Patrick said. “Then you said no matter how rough it got to not stop because you’d use the safe word. And then you told me you wanted to feel all the feelings. The pain.”

“I didn’t remember that.” David said.

“Are you saying I made it up?” Patrick’s voice grew louder in frustration.

“No. No, no. I remember saying that, _now._ I just… wasn’t remembering that… a minute ago.” David said quietly.

His phone vibrated on the table again. Another _fucking_ text.

“Why did you say it? Patrick asked him again.

“I don’t… Patrick, I don’t know.” David shook his head.

“Yes, you do.” Patrick said. “You have to.”

David stood his voice louder. “I don’t know, Patrick. I don’t know.” He walked away from Patrick. Went to the bed. Sat on his side of the bed. Faced the shelves that held Patrick’s t-shirts.

His heart beat loudly. He had trouble catching his breath.

His phone began to ring. An incoming call. He moved to answer it. He picked it up from the table.

_Alexis._

“Fuck off, Alexis!” He said harshly into his phone. He threw it onto the bed. His phone bounced off the bed and fell to the floor.

“David,” Patrick said. “Calm…”

David interrupted him; a finger pointed at Patrick. “If you fucking tell me to calm down…”

Patrick’s phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He checked it. He looked at David. He answered his phone.

“Hi, Alexis.”

Patrick paused while he listened. In a calm voice he said, “Yeah, he wasn’t planning on being at brunch today. I’m sorry he didn’t let you know. I cooked him breakfast.”

He paused.

“Listen. We’re kind of in the middle of…”

Another pause.

“Yeah. Somethin’ like that.”

Pause.

“Sure. I’ll tell him.”

Patrick tossed his phone onto the couch and walked over to the bed where David stood. Agitated. Eyes shifting. Breathing labored.

David watched Patrick coming toward him and for the first time in a long time, David was the one who wanted to run. Leave. Escape.  
  
If anyone could look through David, it was Patrick Brewer. If anyone knew David, it was Patrick.

Patrick saw what was coming seconds before David felt it.

“Just take a deep breath,” Patrick encouraged him. He stood in front of David. He didn’t touch him, but worked to stay in David’s line of sight.

“In. Out. Good. Keep breathing.” Patrick encouraged.

Both of David’s hands moved to his own head and ran through his thick hair. He tugged it back. Pressure.

He sat down on the side of the bed. He leaned over. Rested his head on his pillow.

Patrick immediately rounded the bed and crawled over it. He settled in behind David. Ready to spoon him.

David’s arms and legs flailed. “NO. Get off.”

Patrick immediately pulled back. Got off the bed.

David sat up. Turned so his feet were on the floor. The ache in his chest threatened to consume him. He was hot. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been so hot. His sweater. It was cutting off his ability to breath.

He wanted to get up and run, but he couldn’t move. His body was frozen to the spot where he sat. He tugged at the neck of his sweater.

He wasn’t sure where the cool rag came from, but there was one pressed to his face. Patrick was pulling his sweater up and over his head. He heard Patrick talking to him, but he couldn’t really make out what he was saying.

He gasped for breath. He tried to fill his lungs but could only manage very shallow breaths. He heard his heart beating in his ears. The only thing louder was the sound of him gasping for air. His hands were fists and his body shook.

“… one thing that you can… um… smell. David. Tell me one thing you can smell.” Patrick’s voice was starting to come through to him.

David tried to focus on his voice. “ba… bacon.” David said.

 _I’m dying._ David thought. _I can’t breathe._

“OK. David tell me two things that you can… um… hear. Two things you can hear.” Patrick’s voice was calm.

“You.” David said He nodded. His hands pressed to his knees as he gulped air. “Kids… outside.”

“Good. Good.” Patrick encouraged him.

 _Help me, Patrick._ David thought. _Please help me._

“Um… Three things that you can feel. Tell me three things you can feel.” Patrick said.

“I can’t.” Tears fell from David’s eyes. He was starting to get his breath back, but he needed to concentrate on his breathing. He couldn’t answer Patrick’s stupid quiz.

“David, three things you feel. Come on.” Patrick moved the washrag from his face and held it to the back of his neck.

 _That feels good._ David thought.

“David, three things you feel.”

“Cool cloth.” David rested his hand against the cloth on the back of his neck.

“Good. What else, David. Three things you feel.”

“I can’t.” David cried. He struggled to just breathe.

Patrick reached down and held David’s hand. “Three things you feel David.”

“Cool cloth. Your hand.” David said.

Patrick kissed David on the forehead. “Three things you feel, Babe. Come on.”

David took a deeper breath. His exhale was unsteady. “Cool cloth. Your hand. Your kiss.”

“That’s so good. Now… um… four… four things you can… umm…see. Can you tell me four things you see?”

David nodded. His breathing becoming steadier. “Your guitar. Your blue sweater. Picture of us at the goat farm.” David looked up at Patrick. “You.”

“There you are. Hi.” Patrick said with a smile as he stepped forward and opened his arms.

David, still sitting on the bed, spread his knees and gave Patrick space to stand nearer. He pressed his forehead against Patrick’s t-shirt covered chest. He wrapped his arms around Patrick’s waist. He inhaled deeply. Inhaled Patrick’s scent.

 _I feel you, Patrick. Don’t let go. Please, don’t let go. Help me._ He pleaded silently.

Patrick’s hands soothed David’s bare back.

He breathed slowly.

In. Out.

In. Out.

Slowly. Deliberately.

David did what Patrick did. Worked to get his breathing under control.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed there. He became very aware that every bone in his body felt like it was softening. His arms and legs felt very heavy. He felt like his core was vibrating. He was exhausted.

With his hands on Patrick’s waist, he gently pushed himself back. Pushed Patrick away.

“What do you need?” Patrick said quietly. His fingers ran gently down the back of David’s head where he had been petting David.

David reached for his sweater. He put it on as he walked across the room to the bathroom. He shut the door behind himself.

After he relieved himself, he stood at the sink. Stared at himself. Wide eyed. With a shaky hand, he ran the water until it became hot. He dampened a washcloth. Held it to his face. The hot water relaxed him.

“How’s it going in there?” Patrick asked from the door.

When David opened the door, Patrick handed him a glass of water.

“Thank you.” David whispered.

He sat on the side of the bed. “I have a headache.” David said. His voice weak.

Patrick was suddenly there. Dropped two pills in the palm of his hand.

David rolled into the bed. He felt Patrick drape Grandma’s quilt over him. Felt Patrick kiss his forehead. He shut his eyes. Shut everything out. Willed himself to rest.

++++++

While David slept, Patrick sat in the bed, sipped on a cup of hot tea, and texted his friend.

_You (11:49 am):_

‘Hey. Do you have a sec?’

_Terri Morgan (11:49 am):_

‘What’s up?’

_You (11:49 am):_

‘He had another panic attack.’

_Terri Morgan (11:49 am):_

‘He OK?’

_You (11:50 am):_

‘I think so. He’s sleeping.’

_Terri Morgan (11:50 am):_

‘You OK?’

_You (11:50 am):_

‘Yes’

_Terri Morgan (11:50 am):_

‘What do you need?’

_You (11:51 am):_

‘I don’t know.’

‘I did the thing. I tried to do the thing.’

_Terri Morgan (11:51 am):_

‘The grounding technique? How’d it go?’

_You (11:51 am):_

‘I don’t know. I think I did it wrong.’

‘Not sure. I couldn’t remember the order.’

_Terri Morgan (11:51 am):_

‘The order doesn’t matter, Kid.’

_You (11:52 am):_

‘I never got to 5.’

_Terri Morgan (11:52 am):_

‘If he’s sleeping, he calmed down. What you did helped.’

_You (11:52 am):_

‘OK’

_Terri Morgan (11:52 am):_

‘What’s wrong?’

_You (11:53 am):_

‘I felt helpless.’

_Terri Morgan (11:53 am):_

‘Yup.’

‘What else did you do?’

_You (11:53 am):_

‘Got him a cool rag.’

‘Stood away from him and gave him space.’

‘Then did the numbers thing.’

_Terri Morgan (11:53 am):_

‘Sounds like you did everything right.’

_You (11:54 am):_

‘He’s never had them and now he’s had two in a short amount of time.’

_Terri Morgan (11:54 am):_

‘You sure he’s never had them before?’

_You (11:54 am):_

‘No. I’m not.’

‘I guess I just don’t know of any.’

_Terri Morgan (11:54 am):_

‘You ask him about it?’

_You (11:55 am):_

‘No.’

_Terri Morgan (11:55 am):_

‘OK’

_You (11:55 am):_

‘Should I?’

_Terri Morgan (11:55 am):_

‘Up to you.’

_You (11:56 am):_

‘There’s something wrong. Isn’t there?’

_Terri Morgan (11:56 am):_

‘Listen, Patrick. Some people live their whole life and never have an anxiety attack. Some people get them all the time. Some may have one or two and never have them again.’

‘I don’t know what he’s dealing with or what triggered it.’

‘I’m sorry Kid. I can’t be the one to tell you if there’s something wrong.’

_You (11:57 am):_

‘I know. Thanks.’

‘I realize I shouldn’t talk to you about this. I’m sorry.’

_Terri Morgan (11:57 am):_

‘No apologies. I can be here to help you know what to do. I just can’t help you figure out what causes it. Without being his therapist, it wouldn’t be my place.’

_You (11:58 am):_

‘Yeah. I get that.’

_Terri Morgan (11:58 am):_

‘If he wants a therapist, I can help him find one.’

_You (11:58 am):_

‘That’s not asking too much?’

_Terri Morgan (11:58 am):_

‘Not at all. It can be overwhelming figuring that out.’

_You (11:59 am):_

‘How do I tell him that?’

_Terri Morgan (11:59 am):_

‘He’s your boyfriend. You’ll figure that one out.’

_You (11:59 am):_

‘Thanks.’

_Terri Morgan (11:59 am):_

‘No problem.’

_You (11:59 am):_

‘How’s Amy?’

_Terri Morgan (12:00 pm):_

‘She’s so beautiful.’ *Pregnant woman emoji* *Heart eyes emoji*

‘Don’t tell her I used so many emojis’

_You (12:00 pm):_

*Red heart emoji*

‘How’s she feeling?’

_Terri Morgan (12:00 pm):_

‘Good. She feels really good.’

‘I felt the baby kick.’

_You (12:00 pm):_

‘OMG!’

‘How was that?’

_Terri Morgan (12:01 pm):_

‘Fucking amazing!!’

‘I don’t have the words.’

_You (12:01 pm):_

‘Everything OK? Doctor say she’s OK?’

_Terri Morgan (12:01 pm):_

‘Yeah. We had the sonogram.’

*Terri sent Patrick a picture of the sonogram*

Patrick looked at the black, white, and grey image. He couldn’t tell what he was looking at.

_You (12:02 pm):_

‘That’s great!’

_Terri Morgan (12:02 pm):_

‘I know. I can’t tell what it is either.’ *Laughing with tears emoji*

_You (12:02 pm):_

*Laughing with tears emoji*

_Terri Morgan (12:02 pm):_

‘Working on the nursery. You guys should come up sometime.’

_You (12:03 pm):_

‘Might take you up on that.’

_Terri Morgan (12:03 pm):_

‘Gotta run. We’re at Nan and Pop’s. Lunch is ready.’

_You (12:03 pm):_

‘Tell them Hi from us.’

_Terri Morgan (12:03 pm):_

‘Will do.’

_You (12:03 pm):_

‘Love to Amy.’

_Terri Morgan (12:04 pm):_

‘Tell him I’m here when he’s ready to find a therapist.’

_You (12:04 pm):_

‘Terri?’

_Terri Morgan (12:04 pm):_

‘Yeah?’

_You (12:04 pm):_

‘Thanks. Appreciate it.’

_Terri Morgan (12:05 pm):_

‘Anything for you, kid.’

++++++

David rolled over and saw Patrick sitting in the bed beside him. Reading a book.

David scooted closer to him. Rested his head against Patrick’s hip. Wrapped his arm around Patrick’s lap. Tucked his hand between Patrick’s thighs. Held his leg close.

_I fucking love these tree-trunk legs._

Patrick returned his bookmark. Put his book on the bedside table. He rested his hand on David’s back.

“Sleep OK?” he asked him.

“Mmm.” David made a noise.

Patrick scooted down so he could lay beside David. David adjusted and rested his head on Patrick’s shoulder. Draped his arm over Patrick’s chest. Listened to his heartbeat.

“Babe. How often have you had those?” Patrick asked him. His fingers made invisible circles on David’s back.

“That one here. Before you moved in. Before that I haven’t had one for a few years. Had one when we first moved to town.” David said. His eyes closed. His arm drew tighter around Patrick.

“What do you think it is? What makes it happen?” Patrick asked him.

“Not sure.” David said. He didn’t want to talk about it. “Want to watch a movie?”

“I want to keep talking.” Patrick said. “We’re not done.”

“Keep talking about what?” David asked. “The other night?... or… What just happened?”

“Both?” Patrick said. He shifted. Rolled to his side. Propped his head up in his hand; his elbow resting on the mattress. He looked David in the eyes. “You know we have to finish that conversation.”

“I know.” David rolled to his other side. “Spoon me.” He said.

Patrick snuggled up behind him. Adjusted Grandma’s quilt. Held David close. And they began to talk. David ran his fingers over Patrick’s forearm. Patrick pressed his hand against David’s chest. They held hands; fingers intertwined.

They talked all the way through it. David asking for pain. He told Patrick he didn’t know why he asked for it. He couldn’t recall a time in his life that he asked for it. He remembered a time or two when there was pain and he tolerated it, but didn’t necessarily ask for it, or want it.

Patrick told him that he liked being in charge when they had sex. Liked topping David. Liked that David was turned on when Patrick took charge. Liked the idea of using his belt. But didn’t like the other night when David pushed for more hitting. Really hated seeing the bruises the belt left. He told David he didn’t want to do it again.

David told Patrick he liked the idea of being tied up. Liked the idea of tying up Patrick. Spanking him. David told him he liked being spanked. But agreed that if Patrick didn’t like it, they shouldn’t do it.

Patrick told him the spanking they had done in the past was fun. He’d liked it at the cabin and the few other times David spanked him. He liked that when he did it to David that it turned David on. He just didn’t want to hit him too many times, or so hard that it bruised. David appreciated that Patrick clarified. Hoped it meant they could still do it from time to time.

Patrick’s voice grew emotional when he talked about smacking David in the face. David could feel Patrick behind him. Could feel him start to cry. He reached his arm back and held on to Patrick. Patrick apologized to him quietly, through tears.

David apologized and told him that he knew, deep down, that Patrick didn’t like doing it. And, yes, it hurt. He wasn’t sure why he’d kept saying no and challenging Patrick to hit him. He reassured Patrick that, of course, they wouldn’t do that again.

Patrick told David he regretted not listening to his gut and stopping when he thought that David really did mean _NO_. David apologized for not using the safe word like they were supposed to.

He reminded Patrick that both of them were allowed to use the safe word any time they were uncomfortable. Neither should feel pressure to do something they don’t want to do. They agreed there would never be judgement if one of them used it.

Patrick admitted it would be a long time before he was comfortable having sex with the safe word involved.

David smiled, knowing Patrick couldn’t see him. Because Patrick didn’t say _never again_.

Patrick asked David to talk to him about the shoving. When Patrick tried to lick at the blood on David’s lip and David shoved him. David grew quiet. He made a move to sit up. Patrick’s arm around him tightened.

“Please. Please, don’t retreat. Please keep talking.” Patrick whispered. “Please, David.”

David’s body stilled. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I did that.” He whispered.

“You do, David. Just say it.” Patrick’s voice also a whisper. He held tightly to David.

“You know why,” David said. “Patrick, you _know_ why.”

“I don’t, David. I honestly don’t.” Patrick said. “Did it just gross you out?”

David shut his eyes. “I didn’t want to give you anything.”

Patrick leaned up on an elbow to get a better look at David. “David. What do you have for me to get?”

David was quiet.

Patrick shifted again. Encouraged David to roll to his back so Patrick could see him. “David look at me. Please.”

David rolled to his back. Looked up at Patrick. His eyes shining from tears he held back.

“You don’t _have_ anything for me to _get_.” Patrick said. “You know that. Right?”

David nodded.

Patrick waited.

“I know it was irrational?” David’s voice was soft. “But the moment I thought you were going to touch my blood, I just reacted. I’m sorry.”

“And you wanted me to hit you. You wanted… that was a punishment you wanted.” Patrick said.

“I deserved it.” David said.

David saw the look on Patrick’s face. It was one he’d not seen before. Anguish. Fear. Shock. He wasn’t exactly sure what Patrick was thinking. But he saw a response that was new. He didn’t know what to do with it.

“No, David. No.” Patrick was kissing David’s cheek. His forehead. His lips. His temple. “No. David you didn’t deserve it. You don’t deserve it. You’ve done _nothing_ wrong. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, David.”

“I’m sorry, Patrick.” David told him as he received his kisses. As Patrick moved over him. Settled between David’s legs. “I’m so sorry.”

Their apologies came out quietly. Hushed words between the two men as they comforted one another with their lips. Their words. Their hands.

Patrick lay on top of him. Rested much of his body weight on him the way he liked. The way that comforted him. Their legs intertwined. Patrick’s head resting on David’s chest. One of David’s hands petting Patrick’s head. The other wrapped around his arm, reveling at the muscles there.

It was David who finally said it. His words broke their silence.

“I think I need to see someone to help me.” His voice was barely a whisper.

Patrick didn’t move a muscle. “A therapist?”

“I tried to find one. It’s just too much. I don’t know where to start,” David said. “The one I went to when I was younger… Mom arranged that.”

Patrick moved. Raised himself up and looked at David. “Maybe we could ask Terri for help.”

“I don’t want her to be my therapist, Patrick. She’s our friend.” David shook his head.

“No. No, no. Of course not. I mean… maybe she can help us find the right person.” Patrick moved. Sat up on his knees between David’s legs.

David raised himself up. Sat up. “You’ve already talked to her.”

Patrick nodded.

“Did you two pick someone for me already?” He crossed his legs under himself.

Patrick moved again. Sat beside David. “No. I just asked her how we find someone. She said she’d sit with you to help you figure it out.”

“Does she know about?” David waved his hand in the air indicating the kitchen area.

“No,” Patrick shook his head. “But she knows you’ve had a couple of… episodes.”

“Episodes?” A wry smile crossed David’s face.

Patrick shrugged.

“I’ll talk to her.” David said. He smiled as Patrick took his hand.

“We could go see them. She offered to have us come visit.” Patrick said.

“I’d like that.” David kissed Patrick’s hand.

“Let’s go for a drive. Let me take you for an ice cream.” Patrick offered.

“That sounds good.” David said. Ice cream was maybe the only thing that would get David out of bed on that Sunday afternoon.

Patrick opened the door for them to leave. “Do you want to spend the night tonight? Or do you want me take you home after?”

“Tonight, I need to be here in your arms, Patrick.” David said to him. His lips curved in a smile.

“No better place, Babe.” Patrick winked at him.

++++++

David took his time in the bathroom. When he emerged, towel wrapped around his waist, hair towel-dried, he caught sight of Patrick. He sat, in his underwear, in the dark room with only the desk lamp casting a soft glow over the papers he was bent over. Patrick looked up when he heard the door open. He smiled at David. He stood.

David met him near the bed where Patrick pulled him into his arms. Warm skin pressed against warm skin. He raised his chin a little as Patrick buried his face into the curve of his neck and inhaled his scent. He loved when Patrick breathed him in. Loved to feel Patrick’s solid hands splay against his back. It gave him chills when Patrick’s callused fingertips danced over his sensitive flesh.

Between the feather-light touches, the gentle kisses, and the murmured words, David found himself on the bed. Laying on his back as Patrick prepared to worship his body. Patrick between David’s legs, holding himself over David. David’s hands moved from Patrick’s shoulders, to his arms, up and down his sides, around to his back.

David tried in vain to clear his mind. His hands stilled on Patrick’s arms.

 _I’m sorry I fuck things up._ David thought to himself.

“You smell so good, David. God, I love how you smell.” Patrick said. He kissed David’s neck again. He kissed his jaw. He kissed him near his ear.

 _You could do better than me. We both know you could._ David thought.

“I’m glad you’re here. So glad you’re staying tonight.” Patrick kissed his cheek. His chin. Kissed him on the lips. “Thank you.”

David’s mind raced. _I hope I’m enough for you. God, I hope I’m not too much for you._

Patrick moved down David’s body. Rubbed his cheek against David’s chest hair. Licked at one nipple while his fingers teased the other. David’s cock responded to the touch.

 _What did I do to deserve you?_ David thought.

While Patrick rested on his left elbow, holding himself over David, he grasped David’s cock with his right hand. A sure, but gentle grip. He rocked over David. Pressed into him. Kissed him on his neck. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Patrick whispered to him.

 _I’m sorry I’m damaged goods._ David closed his eyes. _Damaged. Goods._

“I love that I get to spend every day with you. You’re smart. Talented.” Patrick lowered his lips over David. Kissed him gently. When David’s mouth opened, invited him in, Patrick deepened the kiss.

 _Please don’t disappoint me._ His mind pleaded. _Please, Patrick, don’t disappoint me._

David pressed his head back into his pillow as he felt Patrick move down his body. Felt Patrick’s lips caress the shaft of his cock. Felt Patrick’s shoulders move between David’s legs. David spread wider for him.

 _Yes. God yes. There_. David thought. His mind began to shift. Began to pull into the moment, as he felt Patrick kiss him near his hole. Felt Patrick’s tongue lick around and over his most intimate spot.

A low moan escaped David’s chest and out his mouth. A moan that let out his stress. Let out his worry. His hands moved, then. Moved to rest on Patrick. One on Patrick’s head. The other on his strong shoulder. His hips bucked up in an involuntary bid for Patrick’s attention.

“There you are. Hi.” Patrick raised his head and looked up at David who looked down at him.

While he looked down at Patrick, David watched him lick at the head of his cock. Lick at the precum that had beaded up and threatened to spill down his length. Patrick winked at him.

David smiled at him. His fingers stroked Patrick’s cheek. “Patrick,’ He whispered.

 _Don’t stop loving me, Patrick._ He thought.

He felt Patrick’s lubed fingers begin their task. Slowly circling him and entering first one then another finger. Strong, sure. Scissoring to work him open while Patrick’s mouth ministered to David’s cock.

David moaned again. One hand on the nape of Patrick’s neck. Fingers massaging him. Encouraging him to continue.

He felt Patrick’s mouth work its way back up his body. Taking his time. Quietly offering words to sooth David.

When Patrick was face-to-face with him again, David heard him whisper his name. “David.”

David opened his eyes. He looked at Patrick. His brown eyes directly above David. Searching David’s face.

David’s body stilled.

 _Don’t look too closely._ He thought. _Don’t look inside me._ His eyes shifted. He looked over Patrick’s shoulders. He shut his eyes.

He felt Patrick’s lips on his. Patrick’s arms slide under his body and pull him close. Felt Patrick’s lips kiss their way to his temple.  
  
Heard Patrick’s words as he quietly whispered in his ear. “From the first moment I saw you, I knew I was meeting someone special.”

David’s breath caught in his chest. His hands gripped Patrick’s arms.

He listened as Patrick continued. “You were like a magical unicorn. Just walking among mere mortals.”

David’s knees drew up. He wrapped his legs around Patrick’s waist.

“Every day I try to figure out how to make you know how special you are. You’re worthy, David. You’re worthy of our love.” Patrick whispered.

 _Don’t stop._ David thought. _Please don’t stop. Tell me more._

David’s legs locked at the ankles. Pressed Patrick closer to him. His arms moved to wrap around Patrick’s body. Pulled him nearer.

“You’re my prince, David. My beautiful prince.” Patrick told him.

David turned his head to capture Patrick’s mouth with his.

Patrick pulled back. Sat up on his knees. Reached for the condoms.

 _Do something for him._ David told himself. _Tell him he’s worthy._

David’s hand reached for the condoms and moved them away. “You don’t have to. You don’t have to use one.” He told Patrick.

He watched Patrick’s face change. His eyes soften. The corners of his mouth pull back and down in that smile he gives when he’s moved. When he’s feeling all the emotions.

Patrick spoke softly. His hand on David’s chest. “Not tonight, Babe. We can talk about it later. I don’t want you to make a decision on that tonight.”

David nodded. He understood. Patrick understood that David was giving him a gesture that he might later regret. David exhaled. Watched Patrick roll the condom down his thick cock. Watched him lubricate it.

The groan he released on his exhalation reverberated in the room. He knew Patrick liked to hear him. He’d learned to give him that noise after years of holding it in. He was safe with Patrick. He was cherished by Patrick. Patrick was allowed to hear David’s satisfaction.

As Patrick pressed into him. Pulled out. Pressed back into him. David met his every move.

David rode the movements as Patrick drove them. Slowly. Rhythmically.

He listened to Patrick. His words of praise. Phrases of adoration. Sounds of veneration.

Patrick always made him feel cherished. Valued. Loved. _Always_.

His hands grasped at Patrick. His legs tightened around him.

Their eyes. They locked.

 _Yes. Look. Look in my soul._ David thought. _It’s yours._

“Mine.” Patrick told him. “Mine.”

“Yours.” David nodded. “Always.”

++


	17. I Got You (Part 1 of 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick take a road trip to visit their friends Terri and Amy on the goat farm. On the way, they discuss childhood memories. Patrick and Amy take a walk. David and Terri have a talk. Patrick makes it all better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place between 5.06 & 5.07. It is Part 1 of 2 Chapters. Part 2 will Post this weekend.  
> *** WARNING***  
> If you are triggered by the idea of David seeking a therapist, skip this chapter.  
> **END WARNING**
> 
> An Important Note:  
> Regular readers of my work know that I often talk about the importance of seeking therapy when it is needed. In the past, I have provided a website that I turn to when helping people look for a therapist. Searching for a good therapist can be overwhelming, which can lead to difficult decision making at a time when one is at their most vulnerable. Sometimes people end up regretting their choice, giving up on therapy, and believing therapy just doesn’t work for them.
> 
> For some time, I’ve wanted to provide my readers with more information than just the website. I’ve wanted to provide a little guidance on how to look for a therapist. 
> 
> As a mental health professional, I have had friends/family members ask me to help them find a therapist. In fact, earlier this year, a dear friend in the fandom asked me to help her. 
> 
> As I had planned for some time to write a therapeutic journey for David, I knew that I would want to explore his search for the right therapist. The conversation that happens in this chapter between Terri/David is a conversation I’ve had several times in my life. 
> 
> Because I have a friend/reader who has had this conversation with me, I was uncomfortable writing about it without that person’s permission. Though the reason David seeks help in LOL is not the same as my friend’s situation, I did not in any way want her to feel exploited. 
> 
> I told her my plans to write about David’s journey. I told her how SOME of the conversation that Terri and David had might feel familiar to her. I explained to her that it is the same conversation I’ve had with others, but acknowledged that it could feel very personal to her when she read my chapter(s). 
> 
> I told my friend that if my writing this process would hit too close to home for her, if she felt uncomfortable at all, I would not write the story. Her safety in our friendship and her mental health are more important to me than educating others about this process. Certainly her wellness is more important than any story I may write.
> 
> When we talked it through, my friend told me that she wanted me to write the story. She wanted me to educate others. She wanted to use this opportunity to let others know the importance of seeking professional help. In addition, she wanted to highlight the impact of choosing the right therapist. 
> 
> Additionally, my friend wanted me to say who she is. Because she wanted to normalize the process. She wanted others to know that seeking therapy is a healthy thing to do in one’s life. 
> 
> I had concerns. As a friend, I worried that she was doing it FOR ME. She assured me she wasn’t. My biggest fear, as a therapist, was that I didn’t want to exploit anyone or derail anyone’s therapeutic process. 
> 
> It took some convincing (her convincing me) to write this note. Otherwise, I’d just have posted the story and moved on with no mention of the parallel of David’s journey to find a therapist with the personal connection to my friend.
> 
> We started talking about what would come in this chapter several months ago. She’s waited, very quietly, as I worked through my own internal struggle about how to handle this situation. 
> 
> It was only after writing these chapters and after processing it all in my own mind, that I talked with my friend to tell her that if she’d like, we can write about our discussions in the author’s notes. 
> 
> I’m certain she will have something to say in the comments section. I know she will tell you that if anyone needs to talk to her privately, she would be willing to do that. 
> 
> But I ask of you this: First, though my friend has asked me to disclose how she found her therapist, she should never be asked who her therapist is, nor should she be asked about the reason she sought therapy (should she choose to disclose, that is up to her, but one should not ask her). Second, my friend is not a therapist, please do not ask her to be one.
> 
> Though I can't provide therapy for you, I am always here should one need information about the field. You can reach me on discord (in Rosebudd), on twitter (Pandorasdaydrm), or you can leave your email in a comment of this chapter and ask me to not publish the comment. 
> 
> My dear DisgruntledPelican (DP), these two chapters (17 and 18) are for you. For you and you only. Watching your therapeutic journey has been an honor. I salute you for wanting to tell others that there is power in working on one’s mental wellness. You are strong. You are persistent. You are resilient. And you are one of my dearest friends. ILYSM. 
> 
> PD

++++++

David leaned back in his seat and pulled the sucker out of his mouth with a _POP_. “Honestly? Never?”

Patrick shook his head. “No. Never.”

“I know you told me that before…I’m having trouble believing it.” David shook his head.

“Why?” Patrick glanced over at him, then back at the road.

“Because your parents. That’s why.” David shrugged. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Patrick said.

“Every Brewer story I’ve ever heard. Every story about the kind of mom Marcy is. The importance of family. All of that.” David said. He popped the sucker back into his mouth. Turned in his seat. Watched his boyfriend drive.

Patrick shrugged. “There were parties. Lots of them. Just… not surprises.”

“Why not?” David asked.

“I don’t know.” He honestly didn’t. He never thought to question it.

David turned back in his seat. Leaned back. Stretched out his legs. “What were the parties like?”

“I don’t know. Normal, I guess. Just… parties. Games. Music. Cake. Family… friends. Classmates. Teammates.” Patrick shot a glance at David. Amused at his interest in Patrick’s history. They didn’t often talk about when they were kids. It seemed, to him, that it might be a safe time to ask a question of David. “How about you? Did you ever have a surprise party?”

“Oh sure. Yes.” David nodded. He looked out the window as they drove down the highway on their way to visit their friends on the goat farm.

“Tell me.” Patrick reached over and nudged David’s bare knee with his hand. Encouraged David to share.

David seldom told him stories about his youth. Patrick was excited to hear one.

“Adelina…” David started.

“The one who gave you big cookies when you were sad.” Patrick said.

David nodded. “MmHm. My 10th.”

“Where was it?” Patrick asked.

“At home.” David said.

Patrick waited. Thought maybe David would share more if he wasn’t pushed.

“I had thought it was just going to be family there. Dinner and gifts. Alexis and I hung out in my rooms, waiting for Mom and Dad.” David offered a bit of information and then paused. He seemed lost in thought.

“You were in your room, but the party was at your house?” Patrick asked.

“On the grounds… behind the house.” David said, clarifying.

“In your back yard.” Patrick interpreted the words into his own language.

David nodded, “The party was set up out there. In the yard and by the pool. Down in the gardens. Out on the tennis court.”

Patrick raised his eyebrows. “Sounds big.”

David nodded and said with an exaggerated voice, “Well, _yeah_. It was circus themed. Animals. Tents. A band.”

“And you were there at the house while all that was set up? And it was still a surprise?” Patrick asked.

“MmHmm.” David sucked on his sucker.

“You didn’t hear them setting up?” Patrick asked.

David shot him a look. “Patrick. You know where we lived, right?”

Patrick’s brow furrowed. “No.” He shook his head.

Patrick had Googled David long ago, when he was first interested in him. He may have seen some photos of their home then, but he had been so consumed with looking at photos of David that he didn’t look much at his surroundings. Patrick had not looked online for pictures of him since they started Dating.

“It was… _big_. A large house. Expansive property.” David said quietly.

“So, like… a mansion?” Patrick asked.

David nodded. “The children’s wing was far from any activity. Designed to be quiet.” He popped the sucker back into his mouth and became lost in thought.

“So, you went outside when your parents came home?” Patrick asked.

“Oh, they didn’t come home. Adelina came and got us and Alexis and I went outside and I was surprised by the party. It was fun.” David said.

Patrick glanced away from the road in front of him to look at David. He was smiling at the memory of the party. Patrick couldn’t imagine having a birthday party as a 10-year-old without his parents being present. In fact, the thought made him sad for David. But David didn’t appear upset by the memory.

“Where… um… where were your folks?” Patrick asked him.

David shrugged. Took the sucker out of his mouth. “Honestly? I have no idea. Work… probably. I don’t remember. But I _do remember_ that after it was over and everyone went home? Adelina brought a little cake up to my rooms. It was this little vanilla coconut covered cake.” David held his hands up to show the size of the little cake. “It was only for me. It was so good. I loved her coconut cake. It had a layer of a raspberry jam between the cake layers. So good.”

Patrick nodded his head. “Sounds good.”

Patrick struggled with the idea that a 10-year-old David had a huge surprise party and his parents were not there. That David’s biggest takeaway from said party was a little cake that was given to him by his nanny.

They were both silent. Lost in their thoughts.

“Hey, David?” Patrick had wanted to know for some time. Now was maybe the time to ask. “Where… where is Adelina?”

David cocked his head to the side and looked at Patrick. “I don’t know. Why?”

“Just curious,” Patrick said. “I wondered if you kept in touch with her.”

“Why would I do that?” David asked him.

“No reason,” Patrick shifted in his seat. Leaned his left elbow against the window. Leaned his head against his hand. Regretting that he asked.

“M’Kay. You’re thinking something. Just say it.” David said.

“No. No, no. I’m not.” Patrick said. Eyes on the road.

“Patrick.” David was not going to let him just leave the comment alone.

“I guess… I just…” Patrick shrugged. “You’ve told me a few stories about her. She was clearly very special to you… when you were growing up.” Patrick worked to choose his words carefully.

“Yeah. So?” David sounded defensive. He turned in his seat and looked at Patrick.

“When did you guys lose touch with her?” Patrick asked.

“Lose touch?” David challenged Patrick’s question.

“Yeah.”

“We didn’t _lose_ touch. We were never _in touch_.” David said.

“OK. Maybe wrong choice of words.” Patrick tried again, “When did you last see her?”

“I don’t know. She stopped working for us sometime after I started college. I don’t remember if she left when Alexis turned 18 or before.”

“She left? Where did she go?” Patrick persisted.

“I don’t know, Patrick. Her job was finished. She left. She got another job? She was fired? I don’t know. It wasn’t my responsibility.” David’s voice told Patrick he was feeling defensive.

“OK. OK. I’m sorry, David. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I’m not upset.” David mumbled. He reached into the glove compartment for the licorice.

“Good,” Patrick nodded his head. Knowing full well that David was, in fact, upset.  
  
They both felt the tension.

David handed Patrick a piece of licorice.

“Thank you,” Patrick said quietly.

They drove in silence until David spoke again. “You don’t understand, Patrick.”

“You’re right. I don’t. I’m sorry, David. I didn’t mean for my question to sound like judgement.”

“You don’t have personal relationships with staff, Patrick. If you want a pen pal, you write a prisoner… or you write a kid over in England at the brother school to your school. You don’t… you don’t write letters to your former nanny.”

“OK. I get it.” Patrick said. 

The car was quiet again.

Eventually, David spoke again. “She probably went to take care of some other family’s kids.”

Patrick nodded.

“I _don’t know_ how I’m supposed to know where she is.” David’s voice sounded defensive.

“Do… do you _want_ … would you like to know where she is? Talk to her, maybe?” Patrick asked him.

“Well, I don’t know what I’d say.” David said.

“OK. OK. That’s fair.” Patrick said.

They were quiet, again.

David’s phone suddenly had his attention. Patrick saw him playing a game.

“So, was your 10th the only surprise birthday?” Patrick asked him. Shifting the conversation.

David made a noise through his lips. Like a raspberry. “No. I’ve had tons of them.”

“Tons?” Patrick suddenly felt like he’d missed out on a rite of passage.

“None of them very good like that one was. The older you get… someone always spoils the surprise. Usually Alexis.” David shrugged.

“I see.” Patrick nodded.

David paid closer attention to his phone. Patrick stopped bothering him. Both of their minds occupied as they drove toward the goat farm.

David thought about his 10th. The fun and excitement of a surprise. He felt sorry for Patrick that he had never had such an experience. Then his mind drifted to Adelina.

Patrick’s mind settled on Enrique, David’s first. He suddenly had more understanding about how David and Enrique lost contact without David putting up a fight about it. He felt badly for a young David who had close relationships to people who would suddenly leave his life, never to be seen again.

As they neared Cedar Grove, Patrick told him, “I’m going to stop and fill up so we don’t have to stop on the way home tomorrow. OK?”

“Whatever.” David said quietly.

Patrick pulled into the gas station where they always stopped. David wordlessly left Patrick at the car to go inside. Patrick stood at the car and pumped gas. As the pump switched off, David returned, bottled water in hand.

David watched Patrick’s face as he left the store and walked toward the car. Watched Patrick’s eyes travel up and down David’s body. Watched them linger on David’s legs.

“What are you looking at.” David said, challenging Patrick as he neared him. “You looked at me like that when I left the motel to get in the car.”

“I’m looking at your cute legs,” Patrick said slowly, with a grin. “I don’t always get to see your legs.”

“Do you have a problem with what I’m wearing?” David asked him. His chin in the air.

“Babe.” Patrick took the gas hose out of the car. Returned it to the pump. Screwed the tank lid back on. He knew what David was doing. He knew that he was spoiling for a fight.

He turned to David. He sighed. “Why would I have a problem with what you’re wearing?”

“Because it’s a skirt.” David said. “You’ve not seen me in… a skirt… before.”

Patrick stepped closer to David, a grin on his face. He spoke quietly so that only David could hear him. “And I’ve been wondering if you’re wearing any underwear under it. And I was trying to figure out if I can slide my hand up inside of it to check.”

David pressed his lips together in a slight smile. He leaned against the car. “Mr. Brewer. You’re a tease.”

“I like the skirt.” Patrick said.

He opened his arms and David walked into them. Wrapped his arms securely around Patrick’s shoulders. Patrick kissed him on the neck.

“I’m sorry I don’t have a frame of reference to understand your childhood.” Patrick said quietly in his ear.

“I don’t understand yours either. It was _very_ different than mine.” David whispered to him.

“You could teach me, David. I’d understand if you talked about it more.”

“Maybe. Just not today,” David said. “I’m finished talking about it today.”

Patrick planted another kiss on his neck. Opened the car door for him.

And soon, they were back on the highway. Patrick’s right hand on David’s bare knee, inching its way up his thigh to discover that _yes_ , in fact, David _did_ have on a pair of boxer-briefs.

++++++

As they pulled into the driveway, they saw their friends come out of the barn. First Amy, then Terri trailed behind her.

“Patrick look.” David said as Patrick put the car in park and turned off the ignition

Amy stood, grinning ear to ear; one hand on the swell of her pregnant belly.

“I see,” Patrick said quietly.

David shut his car door and opened his arms. He returned Amy’s tight hug. He rubbed her shoulder. “You look so beautiful.” He told her earnestly.

Terri reached a hand out to Patrick who took it to shake while his other arm reached around her. They hugged. “Hi Friend.” She said to him. Patted his back. “Glad you could come.”

“Thanks for having us.” Patrick said as he opened his arms to hug Amy.

++++++

Patrick, in his chore clothes, mucked out the stall while Terri milked the goats. They worked mostly in silence. Patrick lost in his thoughts. Terri did what Terri does; waited to say something until Patrick was ready to talk. He was not. He was nervous for David. Knew that David was going to have a conversation with Terri that would leave him feeling vulnerable. He wished he could make it all go away for David.

Amy and David settled on the patio behind the house with glasses of tea. David leaned back in the chair and soaked up the warmth of the sun. Amy sat with him, knowing that there wasn’t much to say. She knew why they were there; he needed their help.

++++++

“David? Should we go do this?” Direct. Innately Terri. Get the hard part over so they could relax the rest of the weekend.

Patrick’s arm that was draped around David’s shoulder squeezed him.

“Now? Sure.” David shook his head, looked at the empty glass in his hands.

“You want me to go with you?” Patrick asked him quietly.

David leaned into him and patted his knee and whispered, “No, Patrick. Thank you.”

They all went inside. Stood in the kitchen. Amy refilled Terri and David’s glasses with more tea.

Patrick watched David follow Terri out of the kitchen. He looked at Amy, smiled.

An awkward silence.

They’d not ever been left alone, the two of them.

“Let’s go for a walk, Patrick,” Amy said.

When they stepped off the porch, Amy casually looped her arm through Patrick’s. “Let’s walk down to the field,” she suggested.

Patrick smiled when she leaned into him. He held his arm firm for her to hold on to. They walked slowly. Patrick kept an eye on the ground in front of them to avoid uneven terrain. He felt protective of her. As though she were a fragile egg that might crack.

“How have you been feeling?” He asked her.

“So much better now that I’m in the second trimester,” she told him.

“Oh? How does that make it better?” He asked.

Amy began to talk, as Amy does. Talk to ease the person she’s with. Talk to reduce her stress. Talk to connect. To fill the void.

She told him about morning sickness. Talked with him about the concern around the uncertainty, the worry she had during the first trimester. Talked with him about what she’s heard she should expect in her third trimester. That she’s been told she’s in the best part of the pregnancy, so she was concentrating on enjoying every moment.

“What’s your plan for after the baby is born?” He asked her. “What about work?”

She told him they’d been talking about each of them taking leave from work, though not at the same time. She told him that if she took her allotted time under the FMLA and then Terri took hers, they could care for the baby for a while without needing to look for child care.

Amy explained that both she and Terri were cared for by parents who were fortunate enough to be at home during the day. Child care was something that was a complete unknown to them. They were nervous about taking their baby to child care.

“I want to child care.” Patrick offered.

Amy stopped and looked at him. “You? You did?”

“Yeah.” Patrick nodded. He took a step. Encouraging Amy to continue walking. “That surprise you?”

“Kinda. Yeah.” Amy laughed.

“Why?” Patrick asked.

“Not sure,” Amy admitted. “I think maybe just stories you’ve told us about growing up. Your parents.”

“They’re great parents.” Patrick said. “Dad worked in town. Mom taught school. She took some time off just after I was born, but then went back. I have a lot of fond memories of child care. Activities we did. Friends I made. Mom swears that’s how I learned to share.” He chuckled.

“Patrick Brewer,” Amy tightened her arm around his, “You just helped me more than you know.” She leaned into him and smiled broadly.

++++++

David followed Terri up the stairs. Followed her into her office. He knew it was fine. He knew he was safe, yet his stomach turned over with nerves.

“Sorry,” She said as they entered the room. “We’re turning my old office into the nursery. This room is smaller. Haven’t found the right place for everything yet.”

His eyes did a cursory glance around the space. Got the lay of the land. Desk. A couple of chairs. Bookshelves. He noticed a few awards tucked away, pushed back on the bookshelf half hidden by the door. Saw the framed photos she had leaning against the wall. Terri definitely knew people; or, at least, had met some people. Not like the people David had known. They were serious people. _Important_ people.

The desk was pushed against the wall, under the window. She had clearly arranged it so that she could look outside, over the front porch with a clear view of the driveway. The barn.

He looked out the window and saw Amy and Patrick walking across the lawn. Amy’s arm tucked into Patrick’s as they walked. He wished he was with them.

“You want to sit, or…” Terri said from her chair. She nodded toward the empty chair.

“I’m fine.” David said. His fingers wrapped tightly around his glass of ice tea. He stared out the window. His eyes on Patrick.

“Do you want to talk about anything before we look for a therapist?” Terri asked him. She set her glass down beside the computer.

He shook his head. “No, just need a recommendation. Somebody you know… or someone who has a good reputation?”

“Well… David I don’t think I can do that. I don’t know a lot of folks in your area. I can help you look for someone, though. All Right?”

“OK.” He nodded. A quick few nods. “Sure. Thanks.”

Terri pulled the chair over near her spot in front of the computer. She thought she should be more direct with him. “Come. Sit.”

David sat. His eyes roamed over Terri’s desk. Tidy little stacks. A few files here. A few sticky notes side by side with scribbles on them. A framed photo of Terri and Amy from their wedding day. He set his glass down on the coaster she pushed toward him.

“There’s a website I like to tell people about,” Terri told him. “Not all therapists put their name on it, but many do. It’s a good, solid site that you can trust. People on it are licensed and in good standing in their area.”

“Great.” David said. His hands folded in his lap. He worked hard to not let the fingers of his left hand worry the rings on his right.

“Any questions before we start?” Terri asked him.

“So… you just put what’s wrong with me in the search and it tells you who I need to go to?” David asked, half in jest.

Terri chuckled. “Something like that.”

She typed [“Psychology Today”](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists) into the browser.

“See, this site has listings for 17 different countries,” Terri handed David control of the mouse and scooted back. “Yup. Just click… there. Now you’re going to be prompted to enter a location. What town do you want to go to for therapy?”

“Not Schitt’s Creek,” he said a little too quickly.

Terri nodded. “Understood.”

“I think I’d like to try Elmdale first. If there aren’t options, I can go further.” He said. He entered the information into the search box on the website.

“For larger cities, if people wanted to narrow it down to zip code, rather than enter the name of the city, they could do that, too.” Terri told him. Always teaching.

David sat back and looked at the list that popped up.

“Before you hit anything,” Terri instructed, “Notice the top left has options for insurance. Each therapist has to note which providers they work with. Some work with all, but most don’t. So... this will help you not choose someone you really want and then find out they don’t accept your provider.”

“If we were Canadians we wouldn’t have to deal with that whole thing.” David said with annoyance in his voice as he waved his hand in front of the computer.

“Or if we’d vote the right people into office,” Terri echoed his frustration.

David selected his carrier and the list narrowed a little.

“OK. Now we need to talk.” Terri sat back. They sat side by side. She shifted slightly in her chair so she could look at David.

He pulled his head back. His eyes darted. “OK.” He said. Uncertainty in his voice.

“Nothing big. Just… You have some options. You can choose a therapist by their identified gender: male, female, non-binary… if it’s important to you. And then, if you feel it’s pertinent, you can identify your orientation: lesbian, gay, bisexual. Of course, both lists could – should – be broader, but these are the categories on the site.” Terri pointed out the areas where David could narrow it down.

David hesitated. He didn’t move to make a selection. “I’m not sure… what I want to do with that.”

Terri nodded. “All Right. We can come back to that. Let’s look at the next sections. There’s a place to choose ages. Most of the therapists will work with a variety of ages, but some specialize. This will cut down on those who specialize outside your age category. So… for you… you’d want to pick Adult.”

David did.

“Then if faith is important to you, if you feel like your therapist needs to share your faith, you can narrow it by that.”

“I don’t think that matters to me.” He told her.

She nodded. “Then just don’t click anything there.”

“There’s also a section for ethnicities served by the therapists. If that is important to you, you can choose one.” Terri pointed to the section.

“That’s nice they have that; I can see where that is important.” David said.

Terri nodded. Watched David as he scrolled through the many faces and profiles.

“There’s so many to choose from,” he said.

“Let’s narrow it further. Do you want to talk about the gender and sexuality again? Or leave it open. Either is fine.” Terri prompted him.

“I want someone who is well versed in LGBTQ topics,” David said. “But…I don’t really like to label myself?” He said to Terri.

“I get it. And, their options are problematic for those of us who are part of the community. But I think for them, just picking any option under the sexuality heading would help make sure you didn’t get someone on your list who is not going to be supportive of your identity.” Terri explained.

“So, you’re saying just click gay or bi, and it will weed out the homophobes.” David said with a little snark in his voice.

Terri let down her guard and rolled her eyes, “Well, one could hope.” 

David made a selection. Then he paused.

“I don’t know if the therapist’s gender is important… though maybe it is?” He thought out loud.

Terri sat with her hands folded in her lap. Waited a moment until she was sure he was ready to move on. “You know anything we talk about will stay between us. Right? I’ll never tell another soul. Not Amy. Not Patrick. Not anyone.” Terri said.

“M’Kay,” David said quietly. His hands began to worry. He began twisting the rings on his fingers.

“I am not here to provide you therapy, but having a little context of your situation will help us here. We don’t have to choose a gender, but we need to choose a topic. Click there and open up the options under _ISSUES_.” Terri pointed at the screen.

David clicked on it and sat back. Eyes wide. “That’s _a lot_ of issues.” 

“Yup.” Terri nodded.

David quickly looked down the list and said, “Anxiety.” And clicked it.

Terri shifted in her seat. Made a small sound.

“What.” David shook his head and looked at her.

“Can you tell me why you chose anxiety?” Terri asked.

“I had an anxiety attack recently. I know Patrick told you. And a few weeks ago, I had one.” David said. Then he added quietly, “I have a history of them.”

“Yes, I’m aware.” Terri said, turning more toward David. She crossed her leg. Settled her arm on the back of her chair.

David waved his hand between them. “Just say it, Terri.”

As always, Terri chose her words carefully. “I have no doubt you experienced anxiety. What I heard was that it came on suddenly. It could have been a panic attack, which may have been a result of an issue other than anxiety. So, we maybe could have a little talk about what might have led to it. Give us a better idea of what kind of support you need from a therapist.”

“Patrick told me that you said you couldn’t help figure out what’s wrong with me.” David said directly. He looked at her. Their eyes locked.

Terri shook her head. “First, David. There’s nothing _wrong with you_. But… I can’t. He’s right. I can’t treat you. But we can figure out maybe what is further beneath the surface so we know what caused the panic attacks.”

“Like what?” David asked. His eyes shifted to look out the window. He wished he could see Patrick down there. They were long gone on the walk they were taking.

“Sometimes there are general issues. Generalized anxiety issues. Life happenings. That could be what you’re dealing with.” Terri said calmly. Her therapist voice even. Steady. Composed. “And sometimes we find that there was an incident… or multiple incidences… that maybe someone has worked hard to forget about. Worked hard to suppress. And something in their world… triggers that old, hidden memory. And… that trigger can cause a reaction like a panic attack.”

Terri watched him. She watched the way any good therapist does. Watched him shift in his chair. Watched the micro-expressions on his face. Watched his eyes shift. Watched him try to not be seen as his brain immediately went to the place that he clearly tried to avoid.

He nodded. Said, in a very quiet voice, “It’s the second one.”

“Mmm.” She made a noise. Nodded. “So, then we should look at the list and figure out what we’d say the issue is. Kind of like, if you fell and really hurt your leg. You might bleed a lot. But bandaging a bloody knee only helps if the damage is to the skin. If, when you fell, you broke your leg, that bandage isn’t going to help a thing.”

“I understand.” David eyed the long list of issues on the computer screen.

“A lot of therapists can work with someone who has anxiety… or panic attacks. But… if what you need is someone to help you work through… say, a past trauma… then we would want to be sure that we found someone who was more of an expert with that area.” Terri said. “Someone who is skilled in trauma-based therapy.”

She sat quietly. Gave him time to process.

“I’ve never thought about it as… trauma?” David said. “I mean… it wasn’t violent… I don’t think.”

Terri paused before responding to him. “Trauma comes in all forms, David. An experience doesn’t have to be violent for it to be traumatic.”

David looked down at his hands. He moved a ring from his middle finger to his index finger.

It was harder for her than she realized it would be. She’d had this conversation dozens of times before with people who needed her help finding the right therapist. But this time was different. She knew how Patrick worried about him. And David and Patrick were special to Terri. She wanted to help him. Wanted to dig in and help him work through it all. She knew she could do it. But she also knew she shouldn’t. This was what she could offer. So, she sat. Let him take the first steps. She could help him find the right one, and then she’d have to trust that they’d do their job well.

Terri sat in the silence with him. She waited until she was sure he wasn’t going to speak without her nudging him.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” She eventually asked.

He looked up. Locked on her intense blue eyes. “Am I allowed to talk to you about it?”

“Of course you can, David. I can’t be your therapist, but I’m your friend. Knowing a little more will guide us in finding the best person to help you. You can tell me.”

“And you don’t share it with anyone. Not even Amy.” He said.

“Not even Amy.” She confirmed.

David took a deep breath. And he began to talk.

++++++

When Patrick and Amy returned from the field, they found Terri out near the barn running fresh water for the goats.

Patrick and Terri locked eyes.

“He’s resting before we head to dinner.” Terri told him.

Patrick nodded as he walked by and headed for the house.

++++++

Amy sat on the hay bale as she watched Terri feed the goats. “Is he OK?” She asked.

“He’s fine.” Terri said.

“Did he pick out a good one? He needs a good one.” Amy said.

“Aim.” Terri looked over her shoulder at her wife.

“I know. I know, I’m sorry. Just worried about him.” Amy told her. Because she did know. She did understand. Both were social workers. Both knew about confidentiality. Both knew that there were just some things they didn’t talk about. And, now, this would be one of them.

“He’ll be all right, Aim. Trust me.” She held out her hand to Amy.  
  
“Of course, I trust you. You’re Terri Fuckin’ Morgan.” Amy said, as they walked arm-in-arm toward the house.

++++++

Patrick tried his best to be unobtrusive when he opened the door, knowing full well if David was resting after a stressful conversation with Terri, he would find any noise to be bothersome.

Patrick opened the door quietly. Stood by the door after he shut it. Waited. “Sweet Turtle,” he whispered more to himself than to David.

David was sitting, eyes closed, on the small loveseat in the far corner of the bedroom. His legs tucked under himself. His arms wrapped around himself. His head resting back in the corner of the overstuffed loveseat.

“Hi.” David said in a light voice. Eyes still closed. 

“Hey there.” Patrick said. The hint of a smile on his face. He slowly made his way across the bedroom.

David patted the cushion beside him.

“How’d it go?” Patrick’s voice was gentle as he perched himself on the edge of the seat beside David.

“I think well,” David said. “We have three therapists picked out.”

“Three?” Patrick teased. He lifted his hand. Used one finger to swipe a wayward curl back from David’s forehead. “You’re a mess, but do you really need three therapists?”

David swatted Patrick’s hip. “First, second, and third choices, you ass.”

Patrick leaned back. Turned to face David. “You happy with the outcome?”

David nodded slowly, “I am. How was your time with Amy?”

Patrick nodded. “Fine. Went down by the lavender field.”

David’s hand settled on Patrick’s knee. “What did you talk about?”

Patrick’s hand moved to rest on David’s hand, “Stuff. The baby. Work.” Patrick shrugged. His eyes didn’t leave David’s face.

David’s turned his hand under Patrick’s so their palms touched. He moved his fingers to brush against Patrick’s palm. “She feeling OK?”

“She says she is.” Patrick watched David’s eyes leave his to look at his mouth. Then back to Patrick’s eyes.

Patrick wiggled his eyebrows.

“When do we leave for dinner?” David asked. He leaned close to Patrick. Eyes on Patrick’s mouth, again.

Patrick shrugged. “Like… a half hour… not sure.”

“I’m basically ready.” David’s fingers trailed down the buttons on the front of Patrick’s old, worn shirt. Tucked between two of them. His finger tickling the skin it found there.

Patrick made a noise. “I need to change. Can’t wear my chore clothes.”

David leaned into Patrick. His hands on the front of Patrick’s shirt. Patrick’s hands pressed against David’s back. David unbuttoned Patrick’s shirt. “Let me help you take this off.” David said.

Their kiss started gently enough, but grew in intensity as David opened his mouth and invited him in. David’s hands pressed on the warm, smooth skin of Patrick’s chest.

David tilted his head, inviting Patrick to take the path he liked to take. Up his jaw.

When Patrick exhaled, the sound. The feel. It caused that familiar and welcome tingle down David’s right side.

“Mr. Brewer.” He whispered the invitation.

“I’ve been wanting to crawl under that skirt all day.” Patrick slid his hand under the black denim skirt David wore. His fingers first edging the leg of David’s boxer-briefs. Then sliding up to the waistband; he tugged on David’s underwear. David raised his hips helping Patrick with his task.

Patrick moved to his knees in front of him as he pulled them down David’s legs, pulled them off over his lace-up boots.

“So we’re not taking off my boots?” David asked. His hands pressed against the cushion on each side of himself.

“Oh, No,” Patrick slowly shook his head and said in a voice that caused a tingle to run down David’s spine. His hands cupped David’s calves. He squeezed him. “We are most definitely not taking off the boots.”

David leaned forward and smiled into the kiss. Patrick’s tongue teased its way into David’s grinning mouth. David slid his hands inside Patrick’s shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. Patrick let his shirt fall to the floor behind him.

He pressed one hand against David’s chest and pushed him away from the kiss. David sat back. Leaned his head back. Shut his eyes. The head of his cock, already feeling excited, brushed against the rough denim of his skirt.

Patrick’s hand was under David’s sweater, his fingers teasing the flesh of David’s hairy chest. His other hand rested on David’s knee. His fingers tracing circles. Teasing him.

Patrick watched David’s face. It seemed peaceful and content. He hoped he was OK.

He flattened his hand on David’s knee. He held his breath as his hand slid, fingers first, up David’s thigh. Smiled as he felt the warmth as he moved in. Felt the familiar textures in the unfamiliar surroundings. David’s smooth, firm dick. His tight balls. His hair. Under the denim fabric of a skirt.

Patrick shifted. His own growing erection struggling inside his jeans.

“Damnit David.” He whispered.

David opened his eyes and looked at Patrick. Watched him. Patrick’s eyes were shut. His hands feeling the topography under David’s skirt. David closed his eyes at the surge he felt in his cock as Patrick wrapped his warm hand around it. Felt the gentle touch of Patrick’s thumb draw a circle around his slit.

David scooted slightly forward when he felt one of Patrick’s hands wrap behind him and press on his lower back. Urged the movement. Urged him to move a bit closer. David scooted forward for Patrick. The shift caused the skirt to ride up several inches.

Patrick’s hand moved under David’s right thigh. Lifted his leg; repositioned it. Draped it over Patrick’s left shoulder. David’s booted foot rested on Patrick’s back.

David watched him. His heart swelled. He knew what Patrick was doing. Knew he was working to make it all better for David. Sweet Patrick. Loving Patrick. Supportive Patrick. Patient Patrick.

He quietly moaned on an exhale as Patrick’s warm, wet mouth pulled him in.

As Patrick did what he could in the moment to make it all better.

++

End Part 1 of 2

++


	18. I Got You (Part 2 of 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick are still on their weekend at the goat farm. They go out for a night of fun with Terri and Amy. Patrick and Terri have a talk. David and Patrick reconnect while Terri and Amy do the same upstairs. David begins to make plans with Mrs. Brewer. Patrick makes plans of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place between 5.06 and 5.07. This is part 2 of 2 chapters and is a continuation of Chapter 17 (Begins immediately after Chapter 17 ends). 
> 
> ***WARNING***  
> If you are triggered by the discussion of therapy, consider not reading this chapter. The discussion of therapy in this chapter is held between Terri/Patrick and is focused on helping the support system of individuals who seek therapy.  
> ***WARNING***  
> Original characters Terri and Amy (the goat farmers) continue to be present in this chapter. They have sex in this chapter. Though I didn't go into great detail with them, I feel I need to add a warning. If reading F/F sex in any way is troublesome to you, just skip that part.  
> ***END WARNINGS***
> 
> A note about the previous chapter.  
> Thank you for the lovely words of support around the topic being discussed. Your comments both at the end of the chapter and in private messages were very kind. I truly appreciate that readers understand my desire to delve into the topic of MH during this journey. 
> 
> Hoping that you all remain well.  
> ++

++++++

The four of them loaded into Terri’s truck. Terri and Amy both climbed into the front seat. Patrick held open the rear, passenger door and offered David a hand as he moved to step up into it. As David stepped up and into the truck, his rear end at Patrick’s eye level, his hand reached back and he pulled up his skirt. Pulled it up, just a few inches. Just high enough for Patrick to see that David wore no underwear.

Patrick’s heart raced. The breath caught in his chest.

David sat in his seat and looked out the truck’s door at a flush-faced Patrick who looked, wide-eyed, back at him. David raised one eyebrow and then pulled his door closed.

Patrick watched him shut the door. He moved around the truck to get in on the other side. He paused briefly behind the truck to adjust himself.

Patrick climbed into the truck. Shut the door and was met with David’s hand on his thigh.

++++++

They took the guys to one of their favorite places. One of the places Terri and Amy went to with work friends. A place they could spend the evening. Bar food. Drinks. Dancing.

David moved to sit beside Amy while they watched their two loved-ones drink whiskey and shoot pool. David sipped his wine, made it last; determined to not leave Amy completely alone in her status as designated driver.

Amy smiled as Terri bent over the pool table. Amy loved when she wore those old, faded Levi’s.

David’s mouth twisted into his little satisfied grin when he saw Patrick catch his eye, raise his eyebrows, and hold his whiskey glass up toward David in a salute.

“How’s his apartment?” She asked David.

“It’s cute.” He nodded his head.

“I’m kind of surprised he didn’t ask you to move in with him?” Amy said. Watching her wife stand back. Hand wrapped around her pool cue.

David rolled his eyes. “Well, let me tell you about that story.” He said as he turned in his seat to face her.

++++++

Patrick took the fresh drink from the server. Took a sip as he watched Terri set up another round of pool. He looked across the room and saw that David was watching him. He raised his glass up to him in a greeting. He thought about David not wearing any underwear.

“How are you liking the apartment?” Terri asked him as she made the first break. Drawing his attention away from David.

Terri and Patrick chatted. He told her about the apartment. Updated her on the Apothecary. She told him about the book she was co-writing. The work they were doing on the nursery.

He pumped his fist when he beat her at the round of pool they were playing.

Her competitive nature came out. “Best of three?” She asked as she finished off her whiskey.

“I’ll kick your ass.” He slurred. He raised his hand to get the attention of their server. He was ready for another whiskey.

++++++

When the band started, a tipsy Terri and a drunk Patrick made their way back to the table. David moved back to his seat, tucked himself into Patrick’s roving arms.

Patrick lifted his glass to get the attention of the server. David leaned into him. Slid his hand from Patrick’s knee to high on his thigh, between his legs. David’s finger pressed stealthily against Patrick’s crotch under the table.

In Patrick’s ear he said low enough that only Patrick could hear, “I’m going to want you to fuck me tonight, Mr. Brewer. Would you please switch to something a little less potent than whiskey?”

The wait staff came to the table.

“Coffee.” Patrick said spontaneously. Loudly. So loudly it caused Terri to laugh.

“Sweetie, you don’t like coffee.” David laughed.

Patrick looked at him. “I don’t. Do I?”

“He’ll have an ice tea.” David ordered for him.

“We’ll _all_ have ice tea,” Amy interjected.

“I like tea.” Patrick said. His hand, under the table, slid up David’s leg. Pushed David’s skirt high up his thigh.

David leaned over to him and said in that voice that always undid Patrick, “Let’s dance.”

++++++

On the crowded dance floor, the two couples danced. Patrick tucked into David like a puzzle piece who had found its place. The drunken sloppy kisses on David’s neck made him smile. Patrick’s hands tucked under the back of David’s sweater. His thumb moving, as it always did, against David’s flesh.

Terri’s arms were protectively wrapped around Amy. One of her hands buried in the back of Amy’s wild, wavy hair while the other roamed Amy’s back. Amy’s hands tucked into the back pockets of Terri’s Levi’s. Her head resting on Terri’s shoulder.

Both couples. Lost in the moment. Each person connected to their soul mate.

David’s eyes landed on Terri’s. Terri’s mouth moved into a very slight smile. She winked at him. Nodded her head once.

He returned the smile. Nodded his head at her.

Then David shut his eyes and tilted his head to give Patrick a little more space to give him neck kisses.

++++++

Hours later, Terri and Patrick sat in the kitchen after a final, late-night check of the animals. They sat at the table; steaming hot cups of tea in front of them. They talked about the store. They talked about the body milk. They talked about the high demand and what might need to happen to increase production of the product.

“It’s good stuff.” Patrick grinned.

“Yeah it is. They knew what they were doing.” Terri nodded her head, acknowledging that David and Amy had generated a lot of buzz around the goat milk product.

Then, they sat quietly. Both comfortable in the silence of their friendship.

“Thanks for helping him,” Patrick said. The hot tea felt good going down.

Terri nodded.

“He said you helped narrow it down to three,” Patrick said.

Terri made no comment. Made no movement to indicate that what Patrick said was correct or not. She drank her tea.

“Is something wrong?” Patrick asked.

Terri set her mug down. Leaned her elbows on the table. Leaned forward and locked her blue eyes on his brown ones. “Listen, Kid. We can talk about a lot of things. We have, you and I. We’re friends and I’m really glad that we talk. But any conversation I had today with David? That’s in a locked box. Nobody – not you, not Amy – is going to hear that information from me. If you want to know about it, you need to talk to David.”

“Understood,” Patrick nodded.

Terri took a drink from her mug.

“There’s something I do want to say,” Terri said. She leaned back in her chair. Crossed one leg over the other.

Patrick shrugged. Waited.

“Statistically, up to… anywhere from 25 to 60% of people who seek therapy don’t return after their first session. After that, something like 1/3 of them don’t return after their second session. Of those who make it past the third session… 20% leave therapy prematurely – before the work is complete.” Terri wanted him to know the reality.

“Oh.” Patrick watched her. Saw her exterior change from the Terri he knew well to what he assumed was how she talked when she was working. Presenting at a conference or something.

“Part of that reason is that many times people choose the wrong therapist for their needs.” Terri told him.

Patrick’s eyes shifted. He shrugged and made a sound. “But you helped…”

“Yeah. So, if someone gets the right therapist, that doesn’t mean it’s smooth sailing.” She said. Her eyes still connected with his.

“OK.” He said quietly.

“For therapy to work, it takes commitment. There will be homework. It can be difficult – emotionally. Stressful, not just for the client, but for their support system as well.” Terri told him.

“OK.” Patrick nodded.

“You ever hear the phrase it will get worse before it gets better?” Terri asked him.

Patrick nodded. “Yeah.”

“In the work I do, Patrick,” Terri looked him in the eyes without saying, without reminding him that she works with clients who have experienced traumatic events. “In the work I do, if it doesn’t get worse, I know that they aren’t working hard enough on it. It’s my clue that they aren’t being straightforward with me. They’re avoiding the difficult work.”

Patrick sat quietly. He took in what she was telling him.

“I never really get to talk with the support system of my clients, unless they need to bring them in for a session.” Terri took another sip of her tea.

“What would you tell them if you did get to talk to them… you know… when your clients are starting their work with you?” Patrick asked. He eyed his mug.

“I’d warn them about feelings surfacing at unexpected times. The oddest thing can trigger a repressed emotion. They may see changes in mood.” Terri said.

Patrick nodded. His eyes on his cup. Then, head still lowered, he looked up at her. “And?”

“I’d warn them that nightmares can surface.” She said.

“OK. What else?” He said.

“When someone has spent a lot of years, in some cases a lifetime, protecting themselves from memories… that’s a hard habit to break. I’d tell them that a few sessions in, they might hear a really logical excuse. A busy schedule. A friend needs them. They forgot to do their homework; time got away from them. They forgot the appointment. All of the excuses feel logical to the client. They don’t usually realize what they’re doing.” Terri looked across the table at him. “It’s natural to want to avoid the hard work.”

“Mmm.” Patrick watched her.

Terri sat quietly. She knew she was bordering on breaking confidentiality. This was exactly why therapists shouldn’t provide therapy to friends and family. But she wanted Patrick to know what to expect. Wanted him to be ready.

“So… Terri… generally speaking… If your client was doing that? If you could tell their support system how to handle it, what would you tell them?” Patrick asked her with a shrug and a tilt of his head.

“About the emotions? The changes in mood? I’d say be patient. It will pass if they are doing the work.” She said.

“The nightmares?” Patrick asked.

“I’d say read your loved one’s cues. If they want to be held, hold them. If they want to talk, let them talk. If they want to be left alone, leave them alone.” Terri told him.

“What about…?” Patrick wasn’t sure what to call it.

“Avoidance? Self-sabotage?” Terri gave him the words.

“Yeah.” Patrick nodded.

“Patrick,” Terri leaned forward. Her piercing blue eyes looked directly at him. “I’d tell you that it’s not your job to make sure he’s successful. It’s your job to support him. To love him. You can encourage him. You can even push him a little. Don’t let him give you a line of bull shit without questioning it. But don’t be so strong in forcing him that you end up having him resent you for it.”

“OK. Thanks.” Patrick nodded.

“It’s not your job to fix it, Patrick,” Terri said to her friend who possessed an inherent quality that caused him to want to help everyone he met. “You can’t be the one to fix it.”

“Got it.” He nodded.

“And…” Terri stood. Took her mug to the sink.

“And?” Patrick asked.

She turned and leaned against the sink. “And sometimes support systems need to get help, too.”

Patrick’s eyes grew large. He shook his head. “Me? I don’t…”

“Hey. Be careful what you say. I see a therapist when I need it.” Terri grinned at him.

Patrick chuckled. “Understood.”

“Still want to take the horses out in the morning?” Terri asked him. Ready to move on from the conversation.

He nodded. Stood. Carried his mug to the sink. Handed it to her. “Yeah. Maybe we sleep in a bit?”

“What time are you thinking?” She asked.

“9:00?” He shrugged.

“She’ll still be sleeping.” Terri huffed out a laugh.

“So will he.” Patrick chuckled.

++++++

After taking the dog outside one last time, she walked through the house. Doors and windows locked. Alarm set. Terri ascended the stairs; Sadie followed behind her.

When she opened the door to their bedroom, she smiled at finding her there. Darkened room. Lamp on the bedside table glowing softly.

Amy. Sitting up, in the middle of their bed, reading a book. Hair down and messy as the curls fell around her shoulders. She wore Terri’s old white ribbed tank, stretched tightly over her breasts, and a thin pair of panties.

Terri shut the door behind her and leaned against it.

Amy set her book aside. Smiled at her wife.

“There she is.” Terri said in a low voice. Her clit twitched at the sight of her.

“You certainly took your time,” Amy teased her. She scooted to the side of the bed. Sat on her knees. Her eyes raked over her Terri. From the boots on her feet to the short, rolled up sleeves of her faded plaid shirt. To the sleeves of tattoos that Amy loved so dearly.

Terri leaned over and untied her boots. Kicked them off. “You have a good night tonight?” She asked Amy.

“I did.” Amy shifted on the bed. Her legs tucked under her. Criss-cross-applesauce. Her hands flat on the mattress behind her. Leaning back just enough so that Terri could get a better view of what she liked to see. She watched Terri’s eyes as they settled on the dark circles of Amy’s nipples under the tight, white tank.

Terri unbuttoned her shirt as she walked toward Amy. “I haven’t seen you in one of my tank-tops in a while.”

“Tipsy Terri was fun tonight,” Amy said with a smile. “I haven’t seen _her_ in quite a while.

Amy shifted again. Sat upright as Terri neared her. She reached for Terri’s jeans. She unbuttoned them. Pushed them over Terri’s slim hips. They fell down her long legs to the floor, where Terri’s shirt joined them.

She unfolded her legs. One on each side of Terri. She reached for the body milk, “Want to do my belly now or later?” She smiled at her wife.  
  
Terri kneeled down and held out her hand. Her favorite part of every night. Amy poured a small amount of the body milk into Terri’s hand and raised the tank top up over the swell of her belly. Leaned back. Terri’s hands settled gently on the light brown skin of her wife’s growing belly. Terri carefully massaged her. Rubbed the lotion into her skin.

Terri leaned forward and kissed her wife’s belly. Amy’s hand came to rest on the back of Terri’s head. Her fingernails scratched lightly through Terri’s short, dark hair.

Terri leaned up. Pulled Amy’s breast into her mouth. She sucked on her through the thin fabric of the tank she wore.

Terri’s hands moved to Amy’s hips. Drew her closer to the edge of the bed. Her fingers tucked into the waist of Amy’s panties and she tugged. Amy lifted her hips and helped Terri remove them.

She pulled the thin garment down her wife’s curvaceous legs, and made a sound of pleasure as Amy opened up wider for her. Amy propped herself up on her elbows. She raised a knee, foot flat on the mattress. She smiled, a toothy grin at Terri. “Momma needs some lovin.” Amy uttered the familiar phrase that always made Terri chuckle.

With a smile, she shook her head. Her eyes moved from Amy’s eyes, to her smile, down her body to her most intimate space.

Terri made another sound that expressed her pleasure. Her anticipation. She leaned in and smelled Amy’s scent. The scent she loved. Craved.

She kissed the tender, soft curve of Amy’s upper thigh and Amy leaned back to give her access. She reached her hand down to touch Terri’s hand that rested on her belly.

Then Terri moved in. Her long fingers joined her lips and her tongue as they eagerly began to spend some much-needed time with Phoebe.

++++++

Patrick left the bathroom after a hot shower, and crossed the hall to the guest bedroom. Other than a light glow from the moonlight shining through the windows, the room was dark.

David made no sound. Patrick wondered if he was asleep.

He quietly made his way to the bed. Dropped the towel that had been wrapped around his waist. Pulled back the sheet and crawled into bed. As he settled on his back, he felt the mattress shift. Felt David move close to him. Tuck under Patrick’s arm. Slide his hand across Patrick’s chest.

“Hi.” David’s whisper sounded sleepy. Patrick was right. He had been asleep.

“I’m sorry I stayed up so late. We kept talking.” Patrick said.

David smiled into Patrick’s side. He wasn’t sure what Patrick and Terri, two of the quietest people he knew, would have to say for so long. “It’s OK. You were spending time with your friend.”

The pads of David’s fingers lightly grazed across Patrick’s chest. He kissed the warm flesh nearest him. Felt the tingle go down his back as Patrick’s fingers began their movement on David’s back.

Patrick shifted. Rolled to face David.

“I had fun tonight.” Patrick said.

“Yes. You did.” David’s finger reached out and touched the scruff on Patrick’s chin. His eyes lingered on Patrick’s lips. “You got a little drunk for a while. Drunk Patrick gets handsy on the dance floor. I like that.”

Patrick’s hand smoothed down David’s side. Rested on his hip. “Did you have fun? You and Amy?”

David leaned in to Patrick’s kiss. “MmmHmm.” His fingers trailed down Patrick’s smooth neck.

“What did you talk about.” Patrick asked him. Returning David’s kiss.

“Just… stuff.” David whispered. He opened his mouth to Patrick’s probing tongue.

Patrick brushed his lips lightly over David’s. He continued to talk. “Terri and I talked about maybe increasing production of the body milk.”

David groaned and tore his mouth away from Patrick. “Seriously? I was just thinking that my boyfriend is one of the quietest people I know and you’re here talking about the production of body milk when I’m trying to get you to make love to me.”

Patrick’s face did that thing it does. Where his eyes get bigger for a split second. Where the sides of his mouth pull back and down into that ironic little grin he gets. “I’m sorry. I need to stop talking. My _boyfriend_ wants to _make love_.”

David rolled his eyes. Shook his head. “Poor choice of words.”

Patrick shifted closer to David. Draped one of his legs over David, resting it between David’s legs. “If my boyfriend wants me to _make love to him_ , I will make love to him.”

Patrick leaned down and kissed David gently.

“I believe the first time we _made love_ , it was in this town.” Patrick smiled as he spoke quietly into David’s ear.

“MmHmm.” David tilted his neck as Patrick’s lips trailed down his neck.

“My boyfriend taught me well,” Patrick continued to talk as he moved his lips across David’s collar bone. Kissed his chest. “I guess I need to make love to him.”

“All right, that’s enough.” David sat up and pushed Patrick onto his back.

With a smirk on his face, David straddled Patrick’s thighs and lowered himself over him.  
  
David’s lips pressed against Patrick’s; stifling Patrick’s chuckle.

His tongue quieted Patrick’s teasing.

One hand skipped quickly down Patrick’s chest. Over his abdomen. Wrapped around Patrick’s cock that had not yet fully realized it was time to play.

Patrick exhaled a quiet sound of pleasure. His hands moved to David’s back. Pulled him closer. His knees raised slightly; his feet flat on the mattress. The movement pressed his thighs against David’s ass.

David pulled away from the kiss and smiled down at Patrick’s face. “There you are. Hi, Mr. Brewer.”

“Hi.” Patrick breathed out the word in a tone of voice that caused parts of David to flutter.

Patrick’s hands settled on each side of David ass. His hands massaged him.

David kissed him again and, against his lips, he asked again. Earnestly. “Will you please make love to me?”

Patrick leaned up and rolled them back over. With David resting on his pillow. Patrick beside him, half laying on him. One leg draped over David’s. Resting on the mattress between David’s legs. Patrick straddling one of David’s legs.

He lowered himself over David. Lips kissing up David’s neck. Along his stubbled jaw. Back to David’s soft lips.

David grinned into the kiss. He tucked one hand behind his head, the other rested on the back of Patrick’s head. Satisfied with himself. He knew what words would get Patrick on track.

After the day he’d had, he wanted Patrick. Needed Patrick to be gentle with him. Need Patrick to remind David that he was treasured. Safe. Worthy.

Patrick’s fingers, closely followed by his lips, trailed across David’s chest. Patrick moved; both knees between David’s legs. David spread his legs to accommodate him. Curved one leg around Patrick’s. Settled his foot against Patrick’s calf muscle.

David’s hands found Patrick’s arms, as they always do. Fingers tracing the lines of his muscles. Gentle, feather-like touches.

Their cocks lined up together between them.

Patrick pressed his hips forward as he rocked over David. David’s exhaled into Patrick’s ear. “Yes, Mr. Brewer. Just like that.”

They kissed. The kiss that connected them when they made love. Lips, tongues. Warmth, hunger. A gentle suction, release. Sensual.

While Patrick held himself over David, one hand reached between them. Pumped David’s cock slowly. Massaged David’s balls.

David’s hands moved over Patrick’s smooth, warm skin. Fingertips drew a line down the vein in Patrick’s neck. Circled his nipples. Dragged along the skin of his back. All the while, the erotic kiss continued. 

Patrick’s fingers moved further back on David. Brushed behind his balls. Teased the tender skin of his taint. Knowing that David wanted him to go further back, he waited. Smiled into their kiss as David’s writhed under him. Working to get Patrick’s finger to move further back.

“Patrick.” David whispered his name.

“Mmm?” Patrick’s lips busied themselves on David’s neck.

“Baby, please.” David’s voice was soft, pleading. His fingers reached down. One of his fingertips grazed the head of Patrick’s cock. Circled him. Stroked him gently.

Patrick leaned close to him for another kiss. David’s tongue licked along Patrick’s bottom lip.

“I know what you want, Babe.” Patrick moved his hand to rest on David’s cheek; his thumb rubbed the stubble on David’s chin. “I got you.” He kissed him gently.

Patrick reached the supplies David had set out on the table beside the bed. He lubed his fingers and settled back over David.

His finger slid over and around his hole and he felt David’s body respond. The tightening. The relaxing. The anticipation of Patrick’s entry.

While his fingers prepared David, he kissed his way down David’s chest. Lingered, as he always did, over the masculine feel of his hairy chest. He inhaled his scent. He enjoyed every inch of David. He knew David was relishing the way Patrick’s fingers were sliding into him.

David made hushed sounds of pleasure as Patrick mouthed his cock. Sweet, tender kisses down the length of his shaft. And then David groaned when Patrick increased the number of fingers he used on him, while at the same time he drew the head of David’s aching cock into his mouth.

It flashed through Patrick’s mind that he might want to quiet David. Since Patrick had moved into his apartment and the two men had more privacy during sex, Patrick had reveled in the noises David felt free to make in such moments. Prior to the move, David was mostly quiet unless he was whispering to Patrick.

But Patrick knew they were alone on the floor of the farm house. He knew that David’s noises wouldn’t travel upstairs. So, he continued to appease him. To pleasure him. In hopes that David would continue; that Patrick would hear more.

And soon, as Patrick increased to three fingers, as he brushed his middle finger across that place that made David start to shake inside, David became louder.

He smiled as his lips made their way back up to David’s mouth. He kissed David’s neck and licked at his lips. He felt one of David’s hands on the back of his neck, holding him near. David’s other hand made its way down Patrick’s body to brush against his throbbing cock. And David turned his head toward Patrick and began to speak to him quietly. When he heard David’s low voice in his ear, it caused a familiar hitch in Patrick’s breath.

“Yes, Patrick. Like that,” David whispered.

“You tell me when you’re ready, Babe.” Patrick told him. His voice low, controlled. “We’ll go when you’re ready.”

“Not yet, Baby. Please.” David’s voice was hushed.

That voice in his ear. The exhalation Patrick felt as David spoke into his ear caused tingles to run down his body. Patrick willed his brain to take a brief trip. David’s fingers still delicately gliding over the moistened head of Patrick’s cock was about to drive him over the edge. The man writhing underneath him, was making small noises on each exhale. Patrick had to take a moment to think of anything else.

Patrick tucked his face into David’s neck. Kissed him. Licked him. Made noises of his own. He felt David’s hands drag down his back and grab tightly to Patrick’s ass.

“David.” Patrick’s voice was strained. Course.

One of David’s hands released Patrick and reached for the condom. He tore it open and with both hands, he deftly rolled it over Patrick’s thick cock that was dark, angry. Ready.

David lubed his hand and rubbed it down the condom. Added more to his hand and as Patrick’s cock lined up to his quivering hole, David grasped his own needy cock.

Patrick held himself over David, one arm straining. David’s arm rested against it, his hands touching Patrick’s bicep. Patrick’s other hand guided himself into David. Pressed slowly through the first rings of muscle until he knew David was ready for him to thrust the rest of the way in.

The groan Patrick released when he was completely inside David came out louder than it should have.

“It’s hard being quiet when we haven’t had to be,” David told him in a quiet voice.

“You feel so good, David.” Patrick told him.

“You take good care of me,” David murmured. “You protect me.”

Patrick moved slowly and deliberately. Knew that David needed this moment to last. Knew that he wanted it to last. David was at his most vulnerable. Most open in these moments. Patrick never felt closer to him than when they were making love.

Patrick pulled out a few inches and pressed back into him. He lowered himself over David. Gave David enough room to continue to hold onto his own cock, stroke himself. But close enough so that Patrick could talk to him quietly. The way David liked.

“I’ll remember, it’s not only up to me.” He told David. “You don’t need me to protect you.”

“Patrick.” David purred his name.

“But you got me.” Patrick breathed into his ear. He continued to rock against him. He pulled out, pressed back in. Slow, steady movements.

His hand moved down to join David’s. Together, they stroked David’s cock.

 _Keep talking._ David begged him in his mind. _Keep talking._

“And I get you.” Patrick kept talking as David writhed beneath him.

David whimpered.

“Oh, my god, and you get me.” Patrick said.

“Patrick.” David’s fingers on his arms tightened.

“I got you, David. I got you.”

“Patrick,” David’s voice pleaded and warned him at the same time.

Patrick felt David tense under him. Felt the pulsing of David’s cock in their hands. Heard David’s groan as he felt David tighten around his cock. Felt David’s legs clench around him. He watched David’s eyes squeeze shut. His mouth do the thing that it did. Watched the tension and pleasure wash over his face before his body calmed and he opened his eyes to look at Patrick.

“I love you,” David whispered. “I love you.”

That was when Patrick succumbed to it all. His hips increased the speed of his thrusts. David’s hands moved to grip his back. As he felt his body begin that familiar twitch, he plunged into David one more time. One firm, solid thrust. Accompanied with the half groan, half growl that came from deep within his chest.

“David.”

David watched his face. Flared nostrils. Lips thinned. Eyes squinted. And as Patrick buried himself into David’s neck and groaned his name again, David stroked the back of his head and spoke to him quietly. “You got me. I got you.”

++++++

Patrick used the towel he’d dropped by the bed to clean them. He got out of bed to go to the bathroom.

Just as he opened the bedroom door, Amy’s voice rang out through the house, “Terri Fuckin’ Morgan!”

With large eyes, Patrick turned to look at David and he quickly shut the door.

“ _My god_.” David said with a look of horror on his face.

Patrick ran back to the bed and the two men held on to each other as they laughed uncontrollably.

++++++

After a mid-morning horse ride, complete with David taking photos of him as he returned and dismounted. After a barbecue lunch, complete with all the sides. After eating with Terri, Amy, Nan, and Pop. After Amy held Patrick’s hand to her belly so he could feel the baby kick. After they filled the trunk and back seat of Patrick’s car as full as they could with goat milk product. After hugs and thank yous all around. After Terri pulled David aside and made him promise he’d call if he had _any_ questions. The two men headed back home.

Music played. Conversation flowed. Laughter floated around them. They ate their red licorice. They played road-trip bingo. They talked about the upcoming community events at the store. They held hands. They stole kisses.

When Patrick dropped him off at the motel, David lingered in the car.

“I don’t like saying goodbye to you after such a great weekend,” David told him. Already regretting that he would be sleeping alone.

“Come home with me. Spend the night at my place.” Patrick didn’t hesitate to offer.

David shook his head. “I need to be here. Sunday night. I’ve agreed with Alexis.”

Then kiss me before you go spend time with your sister.

And David leaned in and pulled Patrick close as he did so.

++++++

The next afternoon, when Patrick left the store to run a few errands – the post office, the bank, the afternoon snack run to the café – David picked up the store’s phone and dialed her number.

“Hi, Honey! How was your weekend?” Marcy said excitedly into the phone.

“Hi, Mrs. Brewer. We had a great weekend, thank you! How was yours!” David said, excited that Patrick’s mom was happy to hear from him.

“David! Hi there. I thought you were Patrick.”

“Oh, yes. I’m calling from the store phone. My phone is charging in the back and I’m covering while Patrick’s out.”

“Is everything all right, David?” Marcy had a worried voice.

David nodded his head, ‘Mmmhmm. Yes. I just … Mrs. Brewer I wanted to invite you to come to town.”

“Oh?” Marcy’s voice did not hide her surprise at the invitation.

“Well, Patrick’s birthday is coming up and I’ve decided I’d like to have a surprise birthday party for him.” David told her.

“Oh… David… Dear…” Marcy’s voice was hesitant. It trailed off.

“Mrs. Brewer?” David wondered if she was still on the line.

“I’m here. David, I’m here.” Marcy said.

“Would you… I mean, you and Mr. Brewer, be able to come to Schitt’s Creek for his birthday? I would be sure to reserve a room for you at the motel. I would cover the cost…”

“David, Honey. The cost is not an issue.” Marcy interrupted him.

“There’s…. there’s an issue?” David tried to not sound offended.

“Well… I think… Um… I think maybe Clint and Patrick had talked about Patrick coming here for a family barbeque on his birthday…” Marcy’s voice trailed off again.

“Ohhhh. Well, I hadn’t heard that from him… yet…” It was David’s turn to sound uncertain.

“David, may I ask… why were you thinking of having a surprise party for him?” Marcy wondered how well Patrick’s friend really knew him if he were planning a surprise party for him.

“Well… Mrs. Brewer… we’ve talked about birthdays and… he mentioned to me… we had a conversation about it, actually… that he’d never had a surprise birthday party.” David said. “And, he sounded like… maybe… it would be something that he’d find fun.”

“Hmmm…” Patrick’s mom made a noise, but didn’t say anything.

“Mrs. Brewer?”

“Yes, David.”

“I feel like maybe there’s something you’re not telling me.” David said.

“David, when Patrick was younger… actually he was quite young when we learned that when he gets… overly anxious, or finds himself in an… uncomfortable situation….”

David finished her thought, “He runs.”

“Yes.” Marcy said succinctly. Maybe Patrick’s friend _did_ know him. “He used to turn tail and run. Out of the house. Down the pasture, under the fence, behind the barn. He’d just run. Run away from the thing that made him anxious.” Marcy had a bit of a giggle in her voice.

“You didn’t have a surprise party for him as a child because you were afraid that he’d run away from it.” David finally understood; a toothy grin crossed his face. It suddenly all made much more sense to him.

“That’s correct, Dear.” Marcy confirmed.

“Listen, I understand if you and Mr. Brewer want to have him at home. It’s been almost a year since he’s been there…”

“We miss him terribly, David.”

“Of course, you do! And, he misses you.” David told her. “I wonder… would it be as good for you if you saw him here? Got to meet his friends here in town… see the store… see the apartment? Stay with us at the motel for the weekend? Would it be something you might consider?”  
  
“You’re _really_ sure that you want to have a surprise party for him, David?” Marcy thought about what David was offering.

“I do.” David said succinctly.

“Even knowing he might run away?” Marcy asked.

“Mrs. Brewer… Honestly? I don’t think he will. I think he’s… moved past the running away stage. I really do. And, I think… I think he’d really like a surprise party. And he’d be thrilled to have you there. It would be the _best_ part of the surprise.” David told her. Then added, “I’m certain he’d want to show you around the town. Let you see his life here. Mrs. Brewer… he was very… emotional when you were unable to visit the last time.”

“David, let me talk to Patrick’s dad. We’ll discuss it and let you know.” She told him.

“All right. Um…. we’ll be fine either way. One way or another, Patrick will get to see you on his birthday. That’s the most important thing. We will all work to make sure that happens.” David assured her. Personally, David looked forward to sitting down with Patrick’s parents. He looked forward to getting to know them.

“That sounds good, David. Let me talk with Clint and I will call you back.” Marcy told him again.

“Since it’s a surprise, would you mind texting me when you’re ready to talk? That way if he’s near, we won’t arouse his suspicion.” David asked her.

“Yes, I can do that, David.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Brewer. It’s been really nice talking with you.”

“David?”

“Yes?” He asked.

“When we first started talking, you said that you two had a good weekend.”

David nodded his head as he spoke. “Yes, we did. MmmHmm. We took a little road trip to the goat farm. Our friends Terri and Amy… they make the Body Milk that I send you?”

“Oh I love that! Yes, I’ve read about them on your website. I just love that Body Milk!”

“Right?! Well, we went there to visit. We went after we closed the store on Saturday, came back on Sunday. We brought back the newest batch of the product. Patrick likes to visit there; he gets to do chores and ride horses with Terri. I like to sit in the sun and talk with Amy.” David gave her a brief rundown of their weekend activities.

“I’m glad you were able to do that. I’m glad Patrick has made so many friends.” Marcy said.

“I’d love for you to meet everyone,” David said. “ _I’d_ really love to meet you and Mr. Brewer.”

Marcy was quiet for a moment. “David, I would love that, too. I’ll talk with his dad.”

++++++

When Patrick returned to the store with their afternoon drinks and snacks, he had a flyer in his hand. They stood on opposite sides of the sales counter.

He handed David his caramel macchiato. David reached for the bag of cookies. After he bit into his cookie, he pointed at the paper rolled up in Patrick’s hand.

“What’s that?” He asked.

“This… umm… just something Twyla gave me.” Patrick said.

He unrolled it and set it on the counter between them. David leaned against the counter and turned the flyer around so he could read it.

“Cabaret.” David read the large word out loud.

“Yeah.” Patrick leaned against the counter. Faced David. Watched David’s face.

“Twyla wants us to hang this? We don’t typically hang things on our windows.” David said.

Patrick took a deep breath. He shook his head. “No. She didn’t ask us to hang it.”

“So… why do you have it?” David asked him.

“Thinkin… I’m thinkin’ about auditioning.” Patrick tapped the counter with his knuckles and, tea in hand, walked past David to go into the office to start his end-of-the-day paperwork.

David watched Patrick walk away… and a grin crossed his face.

++

End Part 2 of 2

++


	19. Audition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David helps Patrick practice for his audition. David and his mother have a talk about Patrick's talents. Patrick auditions for Cabaret while David meets with one of the vendors while he is also forced to keep Roland Jr at the store. Patrick slowly realizes the impact of Moira's casting decision. David offers support to Patrick. Patrick upsets David. The two men end the chapter making plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place before, during, and after 05.07.  
> A previously planted seed or two.  
> A few set ups for later stories.  
> Just a chapter. 
> 
> ++
> 
> I want to take a moment to wish my friend "Thechargingsky" a great next few weeks. This amazing person is working on a really cool project right now that will change the futures of many young people. And, she's doing it all during this weird and challenging time of pandemic. Friend, from one social worker to another, I am so excited to see your impact. You are amazing! Go TFM the hell out of the place! You've got this! 
> 
> ++
> 
> Be well, Friends.  
> \- PD
> 
> ++

++++++

“Please don’t go,” Patrick said.

“Are you serious?” David asked.

“The hell with Bobby. Maybe I like you here.” Patrick looked down at the paper in his hand.

He looked at David and said earnestly, “The truth is Sally, when you’re out all night, I can’t sleep. Our little bed suddenly seems so empty. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

“You truly mean this?” David asked.

“More than I’ve ever meant anything.” Patrick said.

David smiled at him. Nodded. “That’s good, Patrick. I mean it. Really good!”

++++++

If you asked Patrick, he’d tell you that when he first saw the flyer at the café about auditions for the local production, his initial feeling was that of excitement. He enjoyed being in those productions in college. He loved the camaraderie of working with a cast and crew to make something creative. He enjoyed the challenge of learning lines and the excitement of performing. Opening night. The feeling of relief at the curtain call. Closing night.

But if he was _honest_ with you, Patrick would tell you that he wasn’t _that sure_ about a musical. His other productions were not. They were classic plays. Macbeth. Romeo and Juliet. The Tempest. But a production is a production and he was kind of excited about trying out for it. Changing up his routine. Something different. Performing again. But a musical? Sure. He could sing. But _stage singing_ was a totally different beast.

And if he was _really being honest_ , Patrick would tell you that Cabaret came at a good time. Because he was getting bored of the routine. He worked and he went home. Sure, he went to the gym in Elmdale. Yes, he went on his hikes. OK, he liked having his part-time job with Ray. Absolutely, he loved spending time with David. But the day-to-day? When David wasn’t there? Or when they just did the same old thing? This production would be something new, different. Patrick liked a good change up in his routine and this was just what he was looking for.

If you asked David, he’d tell you that he was _all in_. He saw the flyer and he saw the look in Patrick’s eye. That look where Patrick _thinks_ he’s holding in his excitement about something. That look where Patrick _thinks_ he’s playing it cool; nonchalant. David knew Patrick. Knew all the signs. When he saw the look in Patrick’s eye, knew Patrick wanted this? Well, David was 100% behind him.

But if he was _honest_ with you, David would tell you that it wasn’t the role for Patrick. Patrick had told him that he was trying out for the part of Clifford Bradshaw. David knew this musical inside and out. He basically teethed on it. And he believed wholeheartedly that the role Patrick _should_ play was that of the Emcee. But he didn’t want to appear critical; didn’t want Patrick to think he was being second-guessed. So, David kept his opinion to himself and he helped Patrick practice his lines whenever he wanted to practice them.

And if he was _really being honest_ , David would tell you that Cabaret came at a good time. Because David was scheduled to have his first therapy appointment the following week. He was nervous that Patrick would be hyper focused on David if he didn’t have something of his own to occupy his mind a bit. Patrick was someone who needed to stay busy. Patrick could be patient, more than anyone David ever knew. But idle? No. Patrick could not sit still when he could actively jump in and help with a situation. So, as David saw his first therapy appointment fast approaching, he was relieved to know that Patrick might possibly have his mind otherwise occupied. 

++++++

David left the store to pick up their morning drinks. When he walked in, he saw his mom sitting at a table.

“David,” her expression brightened when she saw him. She patted the table. “Join me.”

David stood near his mother and shook his head, “Can’t. I’m just on a beverage run.”

Just then, Twyla walked by him with a plate of pancakes. She delivered them to a nearby booth and David looked longingly in her direction.

“Hi David,” Twyla approached him. Put a hand on his arm. “You here for your usual? Hot tea for Patrick and a caramel macchiato for you?”

David pulled out the empty chair at his mother’s table. “Maybe pancakes first?” He said to Twyla.

As she walked away, he called after her, “And a juice… thanks.”

++++++

“I’m just gonna get the bill,” David said in an effort to shift the conversation away from his mother’s comments. He cut into his pancakes; he would not leave any of it behind.

“Yeah,” Patrick said, reading David’s cue. “I’m gonna…” He stood and headed out the door.

“Just two minutes…” David said.

David put another bite of pancake into his mouth. His mother watched him with that look on her face.

David raised his head. Shook his head a little. “What?” He asked her.

She took a drink of her tea. “You knew about this little… endeavor of Jocelyn’s?”

David set his fork down. Glanced over his shoulder to be sure that Patrick had left the café. Rubbed his hands together. Nodded. “I did.”

“David! _Whhhyyy_ didn’t you alert me?” She chastised him.

“Because. It’s _Cabaret_. And… well…” David took a drink of his orange juice.

“He’s auditioning as Clifford, of course.” Moira said. She forked a piece of berry and popped it into her mouth.

“He is.” David ate the final bite of his pancake.

“But you don’t want him to audition,” Moira said confidently, her keen eye on the face of her son. “That is not being very supportive of sweet _Patrick_.”

“M’Kay,” David stopped. His hands in his lap. “The truth?”

“Of course,” Moira leaned forward and locked eyes with him.

“He shouldn’t be auditioning for Cliff,” David told her. His eyes shifted to look around the room and then back at his mother. “He should be auditioning for the Emcee.”

“ _David_ ,” She whispered. “I know you want to support your butter-voiced beau, but Patrick playing the Emcee would be a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?”

“HmMm.” David shook his head. “Not at all. I think he’d be great.”

Moira shook her head and leaned back in her chair, “We all know he can sing like a Passeri, but to play that role, he’d have to be able to dance.”

“Thanks, Twy,” David took the ticket from Twyla as she picked up his plate from the table. He leaned forward to tell his mother, “He can. He _can_ dance.”

Moira cocked her head to the side and her face told David she was skeptical, “David.”

“Listen to me. He. Can. Dance. I’ve seen him dance to an NSYNC song… perfectly.” David told her.

His mother argued with him. “Impromptu gyrations to a popular song…” 

David interrupted her. “No. Not popular, not impromptu. It was a song from nearly 20 years ago. And he knew the routine perfectly. Didn’t miss a beat. Knew all the moves.” David told her. He pulled cash out of his wallet.

Moira handed David her ticket. “How do you know he knew it perfectly?”

His annoyance showed on his face as he first eyed, and then took, the ticket for her breakfast. Pulled money out of his wallet to cover both meals. He dropped money for a tip onto the table. He stood and leaned down to his mother. “Because I know the same song and the same routine. He knew it perfectly. Remembered every step. Every arm movement. And he was _flawless_.”

David met Twyla at the register and paid for their breakfasts.

He held the door open for his mother.

“Where will Jocelyn be holding the auditions?” She asked him as she stepped out of the cafe.

++++++

“David are you sure you don’t want me to be here when Tina comes by?” Patrick asked him as he gathered his messenger bag and headed out of the office. Stopping beside David as they stood behind the register.

“No. No, no. It’s fine. I’ll be fine with her.” David wrapped his arm around Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick turned into David’s embrace. Kissed his neck. “After you first talked to her, you thought she might do better working with me. She’s maybe a little more drawn to numbers and the business stuff.”

“I know… but I’ll be fine. I’ll talk to her about the different types of parties that we can help her with.”

“OK. Well… I was thinking all she wanted to do was come get a tour of the store and touch base to see if we would be a good connection. But… you… umm…. Yeah, maybe she’d want to hear that stuff.” Patrick patted David’s ass.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll lock up and take care of everything. You just have a good time.” David told him. He turned toward Patrick. Put a hand on his shoulder.

“Not sure how long the auditions will take but I’ll come by here if we’re done before closing.” Patrick, not for the first time that day, splayed his hands and covered the wingspan of the bird on David’s chest.

David suppressed a smile as he watched Patrick’s face. Felt his hands. He loved how much Patrick liked his sweaters. Loved that Patrick had been handsy lately.

“You can, but… if you want to go do one of your little hikey-run things, you could do that. I’m fine closing the store.” David waved his hand in the direction of the door when he said _hikey-run things._

Patrick chuckled. “All right. I will. A _hikey-run thing_ sounds good. Thanks.” He kissed David and turned for the door.

“OK! Good luck!” David said cheerfully.

Patrick looked over his shoulder before heading out the door and said quietly, “It’s _break a leg_.” He pulled the door shut behind him.

++++++

 _Fucking Roland._ David was annoyed. Furious. Anxious.

Tina was expected to arrive within moments and the baby was crying.

David reached over and jiggled the handle of the carriage the baby lay in. The crying did not stop.

He then pushed the carriage. It rolled a few feet toward the back wall of the store. The baby’s crying seemed to soften. When the carriage stopped, the baby’s crying grew louder.

David wanted nothing more than to roll the carriage into the back storage room and shut the door. Leave the baby there. But he knew, deep down, that it was an inappropriate thing to do.

He stood behind the carriage and pulled it backward toward the counter then pushed it forward, toward the back of the store. He turned it and walked with it in a circle around the tables in the middle of the store. The baby began to calm.

“See?” David said. “There’s no reason to fuss.”

He pushed it in another circle around the room.

“Just focus on the music. It will make you feel comfortable.” He said. “Music always soothes the soul.”

As he walked, he straightened items on the shelves.

“That’s better. I’m going to need you to have it under control like this when Tina arrives.” He told the baby.

++++++

Patrick mumbled to himself as he strode along the sidewalk heading to town hall. “The truth is Sally, when you go out… our bed suddenly seems so empty. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

“No.” He shook his head. Tried the line again, “The truth is Sally, when you’re out all night, I can’t sleep. Our little bed suddenly seems so empty. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

He pulled open the door and saw that there was someone auditioning, so he stepped back outside and leaned against the building to wait.

“The truth is Sally, when you’re out all night, I can’t sleep. Our little bed suddenly seems so empty. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

He saw the woman leave so he opened the door and poked his head in.

“Patrick! Come in!” Jocelyn called to him.

“Hi. Sorry to have interrupted earlier.” He said as he stepped further in the room. Then he saw her. “Mrs. Rose _. Hi._ I didn’t know you would be here.”

Moira sat back and crossed one leg over the other. “Well, hello, Patrick. I’m just sitting in and observing the selection process as my friend Jocelyn conducts auditions.”

Patrick looked at Jocelyn. “Where would you like me to…”

“We have someone joining you, Patrick,” Jocelyn told him. She walked to the door; peered outside. “Here she comes. Beth is going to join us. She’s auditioning for the role of Sally.”

The young woman who worked at the bakery in Elmdale entered the room. Jocelyn introduced them. Patrick shook her hand.

“I didn’t realize we were having group auditions.” Moira said with a smile plastered across her face.

Jocelyn handed Beth a paper with her lines on it. “Patrick here’s yours.”

Patrick held up the paper he had carried into the building, “I have mine. Thanks.”

“Oh, he’s prepared. Always an excellent sign.” Moira nodded at him.

++++++

David managed to talk Roland into bringing the baby back to the store on Wednesday when Tina was scheduled to return. The only way he could convince him was to give him two jars of organic apple sauce and a bottle of wine.

 _Worth it_. David thought to himself as he ushered Roland and his baby out of the store.

++++++

Patrick sat in the chair by his fireplace. He pulled on his running shoes. Laced them. His mind was racing. _Emcee. I’m going to be the Emcee. In Cabaret._

He put his earbuds in. He deposited his phone, his wallet, and his keys in the pockets of his shorts. He left his apartment to start his run.

Around the edge of town. Up and down the streets of town. His normal pattern. As he ran, his mind went to the movie he and David had watched. The movie. The movie of the play.

As soon as he thought about auditioning, he thought about Cliff. He always saw himself playing Cliff. Cliff? Well,… he could relate to Cliff.

Patrick had so intently watched the movie to watch Cliff. He had noticed the Emcee of course, but hadn’t given that character much thought. Until …

_Emcee. Emcee._

Patrick’s run slowed to a trot. Then soon to a walk. Until he found himself standing. Standing in the middle of the park. Standing and staring at nothing as his mind raced.

He remembered the other videos David had played for him. They’d watched the movie together one night. Another night, they sat in bed while David held Patrick’s iPad on his knees and played one YouTube video after another. Different songs from different stage productions.

He remembered David talking about it. “Joel Grey… he was great. _Really_ great. But if you want to see the _real Emcee_ , look at this one.” Then David played for him a video of Alan Cumming singing _Willkommen_.

As Patrick stood there in the park, he thought about that video. He pictured himself. Dressed like that. Dancing like that.

He spotted the park bench. He walked over to it and sat down. Leaned over himself. Elbows on his knees. His stomach did a flip-flop. He had to remind himself to breath.

_What was I thinking?_

++++++

David locked up the store. Stepped outside. Decided to go to Patrick’s apartment to see how the audition went.

As he walked, he glanced over at the park and saw him. Saw Patrick sitting on the park bench.

“Patrick!” He called loudly and waved toward Patrick.

Patrick didn’t turn to look at him.

David crossed the street and headed toward the park. “Patrick!” he called again.

Patrick looked like he was in pain or…

David began to worry that something was wrong. With his hands slightly behind him, out to his sides, he hurried toward Patrick.

“Patrick?” David said his name again as he approached him. A question in his worried voice.

Patrick saw the movement and looked up. “Hi.” He said. He removed his earbuds. He dropped them in his pocket. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” David asked, out of breath from his worry and from rushing to Patrick’s side. “I saw you sitting here and called out to you and you didn’t respond. I was worried something was wrong with _you_.” 

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.” Patrick said in a somber tone. He shook his head.

David sat; leaned back on the bench. Put his arm around Patrick. Consoled Patrick by rubbing circles on his back. “Audition didn’t go well?”

“No. No, it went… well. I _guess_ it went well.” Patrick nodded. Voice still quite sober.

“Why do you sound so sad? Are you just acting? Is this where you tell me you got the part? Am I looking at the next Cliff Bradshaw?” David nudged him. Teased him.

“No. I’m… I was cast. I got a part.” Patrick said. He rubbed his hands together. He hung his head.

“Oh, Sweetie. Did you not get Cliff? I know how much you wanted to play him.” David leaned over and kissed Patrick on the temple. Pulled him near.

 _Damnit Jocelyn. He should be your leading man_. David thought to himself.

“Yeah. No. I didn’t get Cliff.” Patrick turned toward David.

“M’Kay…” David searched for the right words to support Patrick. “You know they say there are no small parts, only small…”

“I’m going to be the Emcee.” Patrick blurted out.

David, never one to really be able to keep his face from showing his every thought, certainly wouldn’t have won the battle had he tried in that moment to conceal his delight.

Across David’s face broke a wide, toothy grin. His eyes danced. And then David pressed his lips together and suppressed his smile, realizing that Patrick’s face did not reflect the same amount of elation that he felt.

He looked into David’s eyes. He huffed out a bit of a laugh and said with a bit of a _help me David_ to his voice, “I don’t know that I can do it.”

“Patrick! Of course, you can do it. You’ll be _great_ in that role.” David was not just trying to make him feel better. David truly meant it.

“Nah.” Patrick shook his head. “No. I just… I think I need to go back and tell Jocelyn and your mom that I…”

“My _mom_?” David interrupted him. “I’m sorry, I know you’re talking about something that’s bothering you… but _my mom_?”

“She was there.” Patrick leaned back. Ran his hand through his hair. “She said she was just observing, but she gave me some direction. Had Jocelyn stand in for Beth. Had me say my lines to her. Then told Jocelyn that I should be the Emcee. I didn’t even sing… or dance… for her.” 

_Who the fuck is Beth?_ David thought, but left it alone while Patrick rambled. Yes, his mother did what his mother is oft to do. She couldn’t stay away. David knew it. Knew she would insert herself as soon as she heard Jocelyn would be directing.

If he was being honest with you, he’d tell you that he knew she’d do it all along. That because he knew it, he told her what he did about Patrick at the café. But David wouldn’t ever be honest about that. Because Patrick would be brilliant as Emcee and David knew his mother would want to be the one to take credit for the brilliant casting. So, David simply said, “My mom was right, Patrick. You should be the Emcee.”

Patrick’s face grew flush. He leaned in and said very quietly so only the two of them would hear, “David it’s a very… _sexual…_ role.”

David leaned his forehead against Patrick’s and said just as quietly, “You’re a very sexual man.’

“Not in public.” Patrick whispered. “Not on a stage.”

Patrick pictured his mother watching him. His mother who didn’t know he was gay. His mother who knew him only as her _sweet boy_. His mother never missed any of his productions and the moment she knew he was going to be in this production would book her seats.

“It’s a _role_ , Sweetie. You’ve been in six major productions.” David said.

“Seven.” Patrick corrected him. A slight grin on his face.

“Pardon me. Seven. You’ve played all sorts of roles. You’ll be putting on a character. It’s not you on stage. It’s a role you play. You and I both know that.” David patted Patrick’s leg.

“Yeah. OK.” Patrick said. “David… I don’t…” Patrick paused.

David waited. Let him finish. Stifled the desire to role his eyes at Patrick’s hesitancy.

“I don’t want to go without a shirt. Not on stage.” Patrick leaned back on the bench. His head rolled back. He looked up at the sky.

“M’Kay. Now you’re just devolving. Stop that. You don’t know what the costumes are going to be. Stop worrying.” David rolled his eyes. He loved seeing Patrick without a shirt and didn’t understand why he was worried. “Besides, you look really great without a shirt.”

“You always say that nipples are private.” Patrick said, his eyes dropped to David’s chest. His hand moved from where it rested on David’s knee to, further up David’s thigh.

“ _My_ nipples _are_ private.” David said. He held his hands up to his chest and shot a teasing look at Patrick.

Patrick laughed. “I love you.” He told David.

“I love you, Mr. Brewer. You and your nipples.” He leaned in for the kiss Patrick offered. “And your arms.” Patrick gave him another kiss. “And those fucking tree-trunk legs.” Another kiss.

“Take me home and make me dinner.” David commanded.

Patrick stood and offered his arm to David. David looped his arm through Patrick’s and then walked to Patrick’s apartment.

++++++

David answered the phone, “Rose Apothecary. This is David.”

“Hi David. It’s Marcy Brewer. I trust that you are having a nice day.”

David smiled into the phone. “Hello, Mrs. Brewer. Patrick just stepped out. He’s picking up lunch.”

“That’s all right, Dear. I’m actually calling to talk to you.”

“Oh? That’s nice.” David enjoyed his little chats with Patrick’s mom. She always made David feel like she valued the role he played in Patrick’s life.

“I talked with Clint and we would like to take you up on the invitation to go to Patrick’s surprise birthday in Schitt’s Creek.” She sounded happy and excited, and that thought thrilled David.

“That’s wonderful.” David said.

“We will take care of our own accommodations, if you will tell me where the best place to…”

David cut her off. “No. No, no. I will take care of it. I will reserve a room for you at the motel. Would you like one or two nights?”

“Well, I don’t know. What do you think?” She asked him.

“I’m thinking it’s been a long time since Patrick has had the opportunity to spend time with you both and he’d love for you to stay as long as you can.”

“Let’s say two nights then.” Marcy said. She was clearly excited.

“I’ll arrange it. I will text you some details.” David told her.

“Do you need any help with planning?” She asked him.

David told her, “I’ll let you know if I do? I think I’ve got it mostly handled…. Umm…. Mrs. Brewer? Patrick is leaving the café and headed this way; I think I need to be off the phone when he comes in.”

“I will look forward to hearing from you.” She said.

“Mrs. Brewer?” David could hardly contain himself.

“Yes?”

“I am, very much, looking forward to meeting you in person.” David blurted out.

“Thank you, David. I look forward to that, too.”

++++++

“Hi, Patrick.” Twila greeted him with her usual, kind and cheerful smile.

She reached under the counter, retrieved a bag, and handed it to him. “Here you go.” She said.

“Thanks, Twy. What do I owe you?” Patrick reached for his wallet.

“Oh, that’s not your lunch, Patrick. That’s your jersey and hat for the softball team.” She told him. “Your order should be up in a minute.”

“Jersey?” Patrick had a puzzled look on his face.

Twyla smiled at him. “Remember you said you’d captain the café’s team this year? We talked about it a few months ago. In retrospect, I’m glad I asked you because I’ve been cast as Kit Kat Klub Dancer #5 and I’m going to be _very busy_ at rehearsals when I’m not working.”

“When… when do the games start? Do you have… is there a schedule posted somewhere?” Patrick remembered the conversation, but didn’t necessarily remember agreeing to captain the team.

Twyla turned and retrieved Patrick’s to-go order from the window to the kitchen. She set it down by the register. Rang up the order.

“Um… Yeah. It’s on the city’s webpage under the parks and recreation section. I think Ronnie updated it the other day.” She said.

Patrick handed her the money he owed and then some. He picked up both bags. “Keep the change, Twyla.” Patrick nodded and left the café.

As he walked toward the store, he felt the anxiety rise in his chest. Work. Cabaret. Softball. Little league would start soon. It all swirled around in his brain as he then thought about David and his schedule.

_He’s starting therapy next week. We can’t have anything interfere with that._

++++++

Patrick was thankful for the busy afternoon. He and David ate their lunch in shifts to keep the store covered. It allowed Patrick to get lost in his own thoughts, not have to talk with David who would certainly see that Patrick was stewing on a problem.

While David ate, Patrick helped the customers. Then when David returned to the store, Patrick moved to stock shelves and was interrupted when their jam vendor arrived with three boxes of their newest flavor of preserves that David had ordered. Patrick went out to the woman’s car to carry them in. He took them to the office and set them on the desk. He glanced at the computer and decided it was as good a time as any to check the schedule of the upcoming ball season.

David helped a pair of older gentlemen as they looked through the shaving and skin care section. They had already chosen several candles, the hand-crafted leather weekender, and two baskets. David was thrilled that he was going to make such a sizable sale.

While he spoke to them, Bob came from the back of the store and tapped David on the shoulder.

“David, thought you might want this. It fell to the floor while I was washing my hands.” Bob handed David a tile from the restroom wall.

David looked at Bob. Looked at the tile. Looked back at Bob. “Mmmm. Thanks, Bob.” David huffed out a laugh and turned back to the gentlemen. “Uh-oh, looks like we’ve had a mishap.”

He turned back to Bob, “What can I help you with, Bob? Are you looking for something special?”

“Just here to…” Bob walked between the two men who David was helping. “…get Gwen’s moisturizing bath bombs. That dry patch on her back is flaring up again. She also asked for some body milk. David, do you have more of that fragrance-free stuff she likes?”

“Sure. Sure, Bob. Give me just one moment.” David held a finger up to him and then turned to help the men with their selections. He recommended they take a moment to browse the store. He turned back to Bob to help him when the bell over the door rang and “A ding-a-ding!” his mother and Jocelyn walked in. Jocelyn pushed the baby carriage.

He wasn’t sure where Patrick went, but he desperately needed his help in that moment.

David found the body milk Bob wanted; Patrick had left the box on the shelf in the back storage room. The box sat there on a shelf, opened but not brought out to restock the shelf. He waved at Bob as he reentered the store space, to indicate he would take the bottle up to the register. He moved behind the counter. The two gentlemen were waiting with his mother and Jocelyn behind them.

He poked his head into the office. Saw Patrick sitting at the desk, working on the computer.

“Seriously, Patrick?” He said in a stage whisper.

Patrick’s head jerked up. He looked away from the computer to look at David. “Huh?”

“Do you _not hear_ what’s happening out here right now?” David’s voice was quiet but stern.

Patrick immediately left the office to help with the traffic in the store.

++++++

It was after 5:30 when the last of the customers left the store. Though it was clearly a good day for their bottom line, David was working _very hard_ to not be angry at Patrick who was aloof. Sullen. Nothing like his normal self. He barely engaged with the customers… when he was even in room with them.

Concerned, David asked, “Patrick? What has been bothering you all day?”

Patrick glanced at David. Shook his head. “Nothin’.”

Patrick’s refusal to discuss his uncharacteristically dour mood pushed David right over the edge of _I don’t give a fuck_ mountain.

 _I’m not going to beg him to talk_ , David thought.

David insisted on closing the register and preparing the deposit himself.

 _There’s no way he’s getting out of the manual labor of cleaning and restocking,_ he thought to himself.

When he told Patrick that he wanted him to restock, empty trash, and clean the floors, Patrick just shrugged and quietly set about working.

After David finished his task and locked everything securely in the safe, he sat at the desk. He looked at the computer. The tab Patrick had last opened was that of the town’s webpage. Opened to the Parks and Recreation Department. There was a schedule of ball games. Ball games. Then he scrolled back through the history. Looked at the tab prior. He saw the Little League Page.

 _I was working my ass off out there and he was back here dreaming about the baseball?_ David fumed.

David poured himself a glass of wine. He sat on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table. Sipped his wine. Checked his social media.

Eventually, Patrick poked his head into the office. “David.” His voice sounded irritated.

“Hmmm?” David was engrossed in his phone.

“A little help? If you’re done with the deposit, there’s a lot to do out there.”

“Yup. There was a lot to do today when I was out there and you were in here browsing on the computer and dreaming about the baseball.” David took another sip of his wine. Moved his attention back to his phone. Ignored him.

Patrick made a noise of discontentment and went back to his chores.

++++++

David grew hungry. He left the office to check on Patrick. Patrick was nowhere to be seen. David leaned on the counter by the register and waited. He heard him in the back. Patrick entered the room and when he saw David said, “There’s another tile missing from the restroom wall.”

David reached under the counter and retrieved the tile that Bob had given him earlier in the day. He held it up for Patrick to see.

Patrick put his hands on his waist. Dropped his head. “Damnit.” He said under his breath.

“Patrick Brewer, look at me.” David said with a stern voice.

Patrick looked up at him.

“We are _done_ with this nonsense. We are going to hire a professional to take care of this. It was _embarrassing_ today when Bob… _BOB_ … declared… in front of all the customers… that _another tile_ had fallen from the wall in our restroom. I’m done waiting for you to figure out another way to fix it. _I’m done_.” David said. He moved to go back into the office, but turned and looked back at Patrick. Pointed his finger at him. “Done.”

Patrick nodded. He went back to the store room. He moved the boxes so that the new shipment he expected to arrive the following morning would have a place to go. He turned out the lights. He locked the back door. He shut off the Bluetooth speaker. He shut off the lights of the store and went into the office where David was pouring himself another glass of wine.

“Do you want to… wait to have wine until we’re at home? I can make dinner.” Patrick said.

“No.” David took a healthy swig of his wine. Didn’t even taste it. Just tossed it back.

Patrick nodded his head. He sat down at the desk. Waited.

“I don’t feel like going to your apartment tonight. I think I am going to finish this glass and walk home.” David told him.

“What are you going to eat?” Patrick asked him.

“I’ll eat some potato chips or something. I’m not very hungry.” David was suddenly very occupied with his glass of wine.

“Why don’t we walk over to the café. Grab a little somethin’.” Patrick offered.

“Patrick.” David rinsed his empty wine glass and set it beside the sink. He shook his head. He decided there was no reason to even attempt to talk to Patrick when he was in such a mood. He walked over to the desk to retrieve his black bag and then strode to the doorway. He was done talking.

“Please don’t, David. Please don’t go.” Patrick asked him.

David looked over his shoulder. “I’m not going to beg you to tell me why you’ve been so …. _this_ … today.” David moved his hand in a giant circular motion in Patrick’s direction.

“David…” Patrick stood. Dug his hands deep into his pockets.

“What?” David made no attempt to hide the annoyance in his voice.

Patrick sighed. He ran a hand through his hair.

“M’Kay. I’m not doing this. Maybe tomorrow you’ll feel like talking.” David walked out of the office.

As David unlocked the front door, Patrick stood behind the register. He said, “David, I’ve overextended myself and I don’t know what to do.”

David froze. “You _whhhat_?” He set his bag on the floor. Maybe _dropped_ is a better word to describe it.

“I overextended…”

David interrupted him. Held up a hand to stop Patrick. “I heard that. How much do you owe? Is it just you, _personally_? Or is it the store?” David’s voice grew louder and higher in tone as he asked his questions.

Patrick, confused, asked, “What?”

“How bad is it?” David took a step forward, challenging every fiber of his being to remain calm. “How much do we owe?”

Patrick took a step toward him. “We don’t _owe_ anything, David. Well… I mean… _we owe_ … but you know what that is. What are you talking about?”

“You said you were overextended. Patrick Brewer you better start talking right now or so help me…”

“No. No, no, David. My time. I’ve overextended _my time_.” Patrick’s voice slowed as he spoke. Slowed to help calm David.

David’s heart raced in his chest. He leaned against the counter. “Who uses the phrase _overextended_ when they talk about time? What _the fuck_ are you talking about?”

“My calendar. My commitments. I think I overextended myself.” Patrick said sheepishly.

“Fuck, Patrick! _Fuck_!” David’s hand clutched his sweatshirt over his heart. “You fucking scared me to death. I thought we were going to lose the store. Don’t _fucking_ do that to me.” David stomped a foot in frustration.

“I’m sorry. The store’s fine. Our bills are fine. We have plenty of money to cover the bills. I’m sorry. Poor choice of words, Babe.” Patrick moved around the counter. His hand rested on David’s chest. Then he added, “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You’ve been so upset all day, Patrick. You’ve not been yourself. And you can’t just use a word like… _overextended.._.” David wrapped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders. Pulled him in. Hugged him. “I need this hug to be tighter.” He commanded.

Patrick pulled him tighter. Kissed him on the neck. “I’m sorry, Babe. Sorry.” More kisses on the neck. A long, tight hug.

“I need to sit. I need to eat.” David said suddenly, as he felt the adrenaline leave his body. His hands shook. “I don’t feel well, I need to eat.”

“Come on.” Patrick moved quickly. He shut out lights in the office, he carried David’s bag, he secured his arm around David’s waist as he walked him over to the café for dinner.

++++++

They talked while they ate.

Before they dove deep into Patrick’s worry, David quietly chastised him. “If there are even _little_ financial troubles, you have to tell me Patrick. No keeping it secret. You get that, right?”  
  
Patrick held his hand. “David there are no financial troubles. I told you that.”

“I know you did. I’m just… taking this opportunity… to remind you. Even a dip toward trouble, you… I do not want to be blindsided. Promise me.” David was adamant.

Patrick locked eyes with him. He knew how important the topic was to David. “I promise. You have my word. But… David there are no financial troubles. I really was saying I was overextending my time.”

“M’Kay.” David rolled his head back. Took a deep breath. Let it out slowly. “So… tell me what your… _time management issue_ is. See what I did there? See my choice of words? Don’t they sound better?”

Patrick nodded his head once. Let out a small chuckle. “Noted.”

Patrick laid it out for him. He explained that he had forgotten about the conversation with Twyla where he had committed to being the captain of the Café Tropical softball team. He knew he’d likely have overlap with Little League and Cabaret, but with all three activities, the overlap would cut into work time and he knew that it would be too much time away. Patrick knew he had to let something go.

“Why?” David asked him. “That doesn’t make sense to me. You like the baseball.”

“It’s softball.” Patrick corrected him.

“Don’t do that,” David shook his head. “Seriously, what’s the problem?”

“It’s too much time that I’ll need to step away from the store.” Patrick told him.

“We’ve made our schedules work before. We’ll make this work.” David shrugged. “I can cover the store when you’re gone. No big deal.”

“David,” Patrick looked earnestly into David’s eyes. “Your schedule is changing, too.”

David’s eyes locked with Patrick’s. “I can put therapy off a month or so. Will that make it better for you? Make you worry less?”

“No. David you can’t do that. Your therapy is the one thing I need to protect.” Patrick said. His voice low. Quiet.

“ _You? You_ need to protect my therapy?” David whispered to him.

“I do.” Patrick told him.

“What does that even mean?” David shook his head and raised his hands in a shrug.

“It means if there is one thing that happens, one thing that has to happen and not be cancelled, it’s your therapy.” Patrick leaned across the table and whispered back at him.

“You seem very adamant.” David closely watched Patrick’s face.

“I am. It’s more important than a stage production. Or a ball game. That’s our first priority.” Patrick’s fingers tapped the tabletop with each of the four words. _That’s. Our. First. Priority._

David suppressed a smile. “All right.”

“So, what do I do. What do I quit? God I hate the sound of that. I never quit, David. I’m used to… making things happen. You know that.”

“I do. I do know that.” David was overwhelmed with love for Patrick in that moment. Agonizing over whether to quit baseball or a musical production. He wondered how often he’d had to make a decision between the two in his past.

Patrick interlaced his fingers together and rested his elbows on the table. His mind thinking through everything. As though he were solving every problem the world had ever seen.

“You know what this moment calls for?” David asked.

“Are you going to say ice cream?” Patrick looked at David. His mouth pulled back in a half smile.

“I wasn’t. But that does sound good.” David raised his hand to get Twyla’s attention.

After ordering a hot fudge sundae with two spoons, David sat back. Crossed one leg over the other. Eyed Patrick. “I was going to say this is a good time for us to do that shared calendar you’re always going on about.”

Patrick grinned. “Shared calendar. You mean that thing I’ve been requesting for almost a full year now? Where I see what you have scheduled and you see what I have scheduled?”

“Mmmhmm.” David crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

“I thought you said that calendars are private spaces.”

“They are. But… if we’re going to make this work, we need to be in sync. In more ways than one.” David said.

“Seriously, David. I can drop out of something.” Patrick said again.

“Patrick. You made commitments to people. All of them are short term. You can do them. We can make it all happen if we plan.” David told him.

“It’s going to be a lot of pressure on you at the store.” Patrick warned.

“Like today wasn’t pressure? With you sulking in the office instead of working?” David was direct with him.

“I apologize for that. I was really struggling.” Patrick said.

“I know. I’m just glad this was all it was. We can handle this. But, I’m _fucking serious_. You will call and get someone out to redo the restroom. I’m not fucking with that anymore.” David shook a finger at him.

“OK.” Patrick said slowly, a smile on his face.

“Seriously.” David nodded his head.

“OK.” Patrick told him again.

++++++

David lay in bed, rolled on his side facing Patrick. Blankets pulled tightly around him.

Patrick sat in bed; computer perched on his lap. He entered all the dates they knew for the next several months.

“Café Tropical softball games?” David asked.

“Check. Done.” Patrick said.

“Rose Apothecary Little League games?” David asked.

“Done. Though they don’t come for quite a while. Closer to summer.” Patrick said.

“But they’re on there?” David asked.

“Yup.”

“My board meetings at The AIDS Center?” David asked.

“Got ‘em.” Patrick pointed at the computer screen.

“Cabaret?” David asked.

“I don’t know the schedule yet. I’ll have to add that later.” Patrick said. Then he asked, “Your therapy?”

“I only know next week’s appointment.” David said.

“It’s on there.” Patrick said.

“Maybe at the appointment I will know more about the rest of them. If I have to go more than once.” David said.

Patrick shot David a side eye glance.

“What?” David asked him.

“You’re going to have to go more than once.” Patrick told him.

“Not necessarily. I’ve only been to a couple of therapists and neither of them lasted more than one or two sessions.” David told him earnestly.

“That’s likely because you ended them too soon.” Patrick said.

“What makes you say that? You don’t know.” David leaned up on his elbow.

“Terri told me. She told me that a huge number of people who need therapy stop too soon,” Patrick said.

“M’Kay.” David rolled his eyes.

“Let’s just see. Let’s just assume there are going to be more than one.” Patrick nudged him.

“Fine.” David said.

“What else do we need to put on here?” Patrick said, drawing their attention back to the calendar.

“Block out your birthday weekend.” David said.

Patrick turned to look at him. “Why?”

“Aren’t you going home or something?” David asked. Suddenly interested in a lose thread on the sleeve of his shirt.

“I didn’t tell you that.” Patrick said. “I mean… Dad had asked me to come home for a family gathering, since I haven’t been home for almost a year. But we haven’t talked about it for a long time… How did you know about that?”

“Your mom may have mentioned it.” David said. He pulled his mouth into a look of regret that he told Patrick he had known of his plans.

“Mmmm. You’re having conversations with my Mom.” Patrick grinned.

“She may have called the store a time or two when you were out.” David said. He nudged Patrick’s thigh.

“Mmmm.” Patrick made the noise again. “Well, yeah, I was thinking of going home for my birthday. But with all of this on the calendar, it wouldn’t be right for me to go away for a weekend and leave you with it all…”

“Nonsense. Of course, it’ll be fine.” David said, working to not show the disappointment in his voice. He realized that Patrick had planned to go home and not take David with him.

“What’s wrong?” Patrick asked him. He saved the calendar. Shut the computer and put it on the bedside table.

“Nothing’s wrong.” David rolled over. Back to Patrick. Set his alarm. Turned off his bedside lamp.

“Something’s wrong.” Patrick snuggled up behind David. Wrapped his arm around David. Kissed David’s shoulder.

David rotated back toward Patrick. Rolled onto his back so he could look up at Patrick.

“It’s just…” David hesitated.

Patrick waited for him to find his words.

David took a deep breath. Then told him what had been on his mind. “I’d like to meet your parents, Patrick.”

Slowly, a grin crossed Patrick’s face. “You would?”

“Yes.” David said. “Of course, I would.” His hand reached up to touch Patrick’s chin.

“OK.” Patrick leaned down and kissed David. “Let’s make that happen.”

“Do you not _want_ me to meet them?” David asked him.

“Of course, I want you to meet them.” Patrick said.

“But you were planning to go see them on your birthday and have me watch the store?” David asked.

“David. I guess I didn’t want to assume you’d want to go.” Patrick said.

“I made the trip with you once before. We just didn’t get to see them.” David reminded Patrick.

 _God, I need to tell him_. Patrick thought.

“Do you think they’ll like me?” David asked. His eyes shifting to the side. Patrick could tell he was suddenly feeling very vulnerable.

“What’s not to like.” Patrick said. He touched David’s cheek with the tips of his fingers. He kissed him. Soft. Sweet.

“I do have a winning personality.” David returned his kiss. Rolled back over on his side. Raised his arm and waited for Patrick’s arm to slide under it.

“They’re going to love you, David.” Patrick kissed his shoulder. Braced himself for the wave of flip-flops that began in his stomach.  
  
He knew. Patrick knew in that moment he should tell David. Tell him everything. But not after the day they had just been through. Knowing that in a few days David had his first therapy appointment. Patrick decided it was best if he just kept it all in for a little longer.  
  
No sudden movements. Just get through the days until it all works out. Until he knew for sure he’d be seeing his parents and could tell them in person.

David made a sound of contentment. He leaned back into Patrick’s embrace. Patrick’s arm tightened around him.

“I feel like your mom and I are going to be fast friends.” David said. He shut his eyes.

“You do, huh?” Patrick pressed his forehead against David’s back. Between his shoulders.

“Not that your dad and I won’t get along. I haven’t talked to him as often, though. What else do I need to know to reach him besides accounting and animal husbandry?” David teased.

Patrick’s arm tightened around David.

“Patrick?” David asked.

Patrick took a deep breath. Inhaled David’s scent.

“Honestly, David? I think… just seeing how much you love me…how much I love you… that’s all my parents will need to fall in love with you.” Patrick told him.

“Then, we’ll all be fine.” David said. He reached behind himself and patted Patrick on the hip.

Patrick moved his hand to hold David’s. Their fingers intertwined.

 _God, I hope that’s all it takes._ Patrick thought to himself. 

And as Patrick’s body wrapped protectively around David, David drifted to sleep.

While Patrick’s stomach did flip-flops and his mind worked to solve all of his problems.

++


	20. You Start with a Sentence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick start the chapter with an intimate moment (and a blue ribbon). Patrick worries as David's first therapy appointment looms. Their friend Terri checks in to coach David. David meets his therapist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between 5.07 and 5.08.  
> +++++  
> ******WARNING******  
> Consensual restraint during a sexual activity.  
> ******WARNING******  
> At the end of the chapter, a sexual assault in a character's past is mentioned. It is not discussed, nor is it described. But it is mentioned. If reading that a character has experienced SA will trigger you, consider either not reading this chapter or stop when David enter's his therapist's office.  
> *****WARNING*****  
> Therapeutic Process is discussed. If the discussion of therapy and its processes is upsetting to you, stop reading after the sex scene.  
> ***END WARNING***  
> +++++
> 
> This chapter just sets up things to come. I suppose I feel the need to say -- I won't linger in therapy with David but I feel compelled to do just a bit more education. My goal being to shine a little bit more light on the process of beginning therapy. 
> 
> Thank you for indulging me. Some fun chapters lie ahead. 
> 
> Be well. *Red heart emoji*
> 
> +++

++++++

Patrick’s body jerked at his touch. He exhaled David’s name on a pleasure-filled moan. He tugged hard on the restraint. The blue ribbon was wrapped around both of his wrists and woven through the metal rungs on the headboard. His arms spread wide above his head. His body squirmed under the feather-light touches of David’s fingers.

David’s hands never settled in one place longer than a moment and never pressed hard enough for his touch to fully satisfy. He sat silently between Patrick’s legs, and quietly busied his fingers teasing Patrick’s sensitive skin. Enjoying watching Patrick’s muscles twitch under his touch.

Patrick’s feet, planted firmly on the mattress, provided him leverage to lift his pelvis in an attempt to get David to pay attention to the parts of him that wanted David’s touch. The blindfold kept him from seeing David, but he knew if he could see him, he’d see that smirk. That _I’ve got you where I want you_ curl to his lips.

David’s lubed finger tantalized him. Circled his hole. One finger. In. Out. Just once. _Just once_. Patrick felt David’s fingers dance along the inside of his thighs. He pressed his thighs together, David trapped between them.

“Please. David.” Patrick’s head rolled from one side to the other. His legs’ grip tightened on each side of David.

“Please, what?” he heard David’s sing-song voice.

“Please give it to me.” Patrick asked him.

“Give _what_ to you?” David asked as his finger drew a line up the vein of Patrick’s cock but stopped short of touching the pink, sensitive head of it. He smiled as Patrick’s cock moved toward his touch. He loved Patrick’s thick cock. And, he really loved having control over it.

“Your dick, your mouth, your hand… anything. Just… David.” Patrick pleaded. His hips rocked toward David. Wanting his touch.

Patrick felt David’s tongue. It dragged up the length of his cock where his finger had just been.

Patrick held his breath. Waited. “Please,” he whispered.

David’s warm mouth surrounded the head of Patrick’s cock.

“God yes.” Patrick sighed.

David’s mouth gently sucked and then pulled immediately off him. Patrick groaned in disappointment as he felt the fleeting touch of David’s mouth leave his flesh.

“I know what you want,” David told him. His voice soft. 

He added more lube to his finger and toyed, again, with Patrick’s hole. Circled it. Slid into it and then back out. As Patrick expelled a sound of pleasure, David’s fingers moved to Patrick’s abdomen. Feather-light touches causing Patrick to squirm again. The touch bordered between annoying and tantalizing.

“David,” Patrick’s voice was low and gruff. He wanted David to stop, yet he wanted him to continue.

“But you know what I want first,” David crawled up Patrick’s body. His hands pressed against the mattress on each side of Patrick. He held his mouth just over Patrick’s.

At feeling David move, Patrick wrapped his legs around David. Pulled him near. His hips bucked up against David and the pleasure from the friction of his cock rubbing against David’s, between them, caused him to press his head back into the pillow. Another sound escaped him.

David rocked against him. Pushed against him. His mouth trailed from Patrick’s lips, along his jaw. His lips brushed against Patrick’s ear. He knew how Patrick liked to hear him quiet against his ear. Knew it sent tingles down his side. Knew it made his cock react.

He exhaled. He rubbed his stubbled cheek against Patrick’s.

“Say the words, Baby,” David said, knowing that calling him _Baby_ would completely unravel his buttoned-up lover.

“Say the words and I’ll fuck you.” David whispered.

“Take the blindfold off.” Patrick said. His tone serious.

“Oh… I think that can wait.” David teased. His lips trailed down Patrick’s neck.

“No. David. I want it off.” Patrick said clearly.

David moved immediately to slide the blindfold off of him.

They’d agreed weeks ago to shelf the safe word. No meant no and would until they were both comfortable with and mutually agreed to anything else. And, Patrick had just used the word NO.

“I’m sorry.” David immediately apologized.

Patrick grinned at him. Content that he’d taken back a bit more control. Satisfied that he wasn’t completely at the mercy of the man who had tied him up, blindfolded him, and teased him into a frenzy. He raised his head up and captured David’s mouth in a kiss.

David pulled back and smiled at seeing Patrick’s eyes, pupils blown wide, roaming over David’s face. Settling on David’s mouth. He loved when Patrick looked at his mouth. That look always told him everything Patrick was thinking. Everything he was wanting.

“More,” Patrick said. He raised himself up another inch toward David. His arms out wide up over his head, his strong core allowed him to hold his face up near David’s.

He worked on his core muscles and it showed. David was always aroused by Patrick’s strength. His muscles. And Patrick knew it. 

David pulled back. A serious tone controlling the situation. His voice dropped a full octave when he commanded, “Say it.”

Patrick’s mouth pulled back into a smirk. He dropped his head back onto the pillow. He sighed. “Fine. But, one more kiss first.”

David raised an eyebrow. He moved down Patrick’s body. Dropped over Patrick and his mouth rested a gentle, open-mouthed kiss on the head of Patrick’s cock.

With his eyes on David, he exhaled loudly. He felt a clenching inside. An ache to be filled. He wanted him. He wanted David and he was at the end of his ability to wait for it.

His mouth poised over Patrick’s cock; he looked up the length of Patrick’s body. Their eyes met. David’s tongue darted out of his mouth and quickly touched the tip of Patrick’s cock. Teasing.

“Fine. OK.” Patrick said. His arms tugged again on the restraints. He knew they weren’t tied on him. It was their unspoken agreement from the first time they used the ribbon. He knew with a few twists of his hands the ribbon would unwrap from around his wrists. Knew that if he did so, he would be free of the restraints. Knew he could easily wrestle David onto his back and get what he wanted from him. But he didn’t do it. Because this game was far too much fun. For both of them.

“I’m waiting.” David said. His tongue touched the tip of Patrick’s cock again. Licked the pre cum that beaded at his slit.

In a dead-pan voice, Patrick said slowly, “Bullet journals are a valid and reliable way to track data.”

David suppressed a grin. He licked him another time. “And?” He prompted.

“And I should trust the numbers you keep in your journal.” Patrick raised his head and looked down his body to see David smile up at him. He watched himself being pulled deeply into David’s mouth.

Patrick pulled again on the restraints and dropped his head back onto the pillow. His legs circled around David. His hips rocked up, as his body begged him for more.

David licked, sucked, bobbed on Patrick’s thick cock while his fingers made progress preparing him for a proper fucking. Patrick writhed under him. His hips bucking up asking to go deeper into David’s warm, sweet mouth. Asking him to suck harder. Asking his fingers to go deeper.

“David.” He panted David’s name.

“Mmmmm?” David hummed on him.

“Fuck me. Fuck… god David. Fuck me.” Patrick tugged on the restraints again.

There was a slurping sound as David pulled off of Patrick’s cock and brought with him the juices Patrick was offering. He looked at Patrick. He licked his lips.

“Say it again.” David’s eyes were darker than normal, his pupils wide with pleasure.

“I want your dick in me, David. Please, Babe. Fuck me.” Patrick told him. The headboard pulled toward them as he tugged on the restraint. Raised his pelvis.

David reached for the condom. He sat up on his knees. His eyes locked with Patrick as his hand wrapped around his own cock. He pumped it. Ran his hand over its sensitive head. He watched Patrick as he ran a thumb through the precum he made. Watched Patrick’s tongue dart out and lick his bottom lip.

“You want some?” David asked.

Patrick nodded. His eyes traveling between David’s eyes and his cock, and then back again.

“You want me to untie you?” David asked.

Patrick shook his head.

David knew he hadn’t before topped Patrick while being fellated by him. Though when reversed, it was one of David and Patrick’s favorites; Patrick over David, David’s hands bound. Patrick in complete control.

“You sure?” David asked him as he moved up Patrick’s body.

“Let’s try.” Patrick whispered. His eyes locked on David’s eyes. Trusting him.

“Lift up.” David coached him. Patrick used those glorious core muscles to lift his head and shoulders. David tucked an additional pillow behind him. “It will be easier if you’re sitting up a little.” He kissed Patrick.

David knelt over him. A knee on each side of him, under Patrick’s armpits. Patrick’s arms opened wide as the restraints held them up. He tugged on them, again.

David held the base of his cock and guided himself to Patrick’s mouth.

The hot warmth of his mouth welcomed David. First, just the head. A little deeper. David made a sound of pleasure as he finally had Patrick touching him. Though he wanted to fuck his mouth, David worked to not thrust deeply into him.

Patrick’s tongue flattened and curved around the underside of David’s cock. He sucked him. Leaned up and forward to pull his cock in further. David moved. Pressed in a little, pulled out. Patrick kept up with him and it felt so _fucking delicious_.

David pulled back. Pulled himself out of him. Gave Patrick time. Patrick took a deep breath.

“Want to stop?” David asked him.

With hooded eyes, Patrick shook his head. Licked his lips. “Not yet. More. Deeper, David.” He swallowed. Took another deep breath.

He held his cock and guided it back into Patrick’s mouth. Patrick’s eyes closed. He pulled David in a little deeper. Sucked on him.  
  
“Patrick.” David whispered his name and exhaled loudly as one hand gripped the top wrung of the headboard. He needed to bury himself deep into him and he knew Patrick wouldn’t be able to take it. He wouldn’t be able to suck him for much longer. Not in that position. Not without rolling them over and being in charge.

David pulled back. Patrick raised up, moved with him. Sucked him in.

He pulled back. Pulled out of him. Patrick looked up at him. Brown eyes. David’s heart burst wide open, as it did a million times a day when he looked into those eyes.

“I want to fuck you.” David moved away from him. Lowered his face over Patrick’s. His lips brushed against Patrick’s. His tongue licked into Patrick’s mouth. “I need to be in you,” David whispered into his ear. Knowing that his whispered words would keep Patrick with him. Keep him turned on.

“Fuck me.” Patrick’s body writhed under him.

He didn’t have to ask David twice. His cock was hard and ready. He rolled the condom down and lubed himself. Dripped extra lube on Patrick’s hole.  
  
When he was lined up, he leaned his body over Patrick’s. One hand on the mattress at Patrick’s side. David loved the sound that Patrick made when he pressed into him. Slowly. Past the first ring of muscle. The sound came from somewhere deep in Patrick’s chest and came out low and reverberating. It caused a surge of blood to rush into David’s already hard cock.

He paused briefly to let him relax enough for him to press past the second ring. He was rewarded by another sound of pain mixed with pleasure that started quietly, on an exhalation and washed over David.

And David joined him; made a small, quiet series of sounds expressing the bliss he felt at feeling Patrick’s warmth envelop him.

Once he was buried deep in him, he moved to hold himself over Patrick with both hands. He smiled as Patrick’s legs tightened around him, encouraging him to push deeper. He pulled back, resisted Patrick’s legs. Resisted Patrick’s control. Then with one, hard thrust, he pushed deep into him and caused Patrick’s body to jerk, his back to arch upward. He pulled back again, and thrust into him again. Hard. In control.

His lips trailed kisses over Patrick’s chest which rose and fell rapidly; his breathing labored. Patrick raised his head and looked down at David. David’s lips brushed over the light dusting of hair there. His tongue licked one of Patrick’s nipples.

David looked up into Patrick’s eyes. He saw Patrick’s jaw clench. Patrick shake his head an almost imperceptible movement. The headboard moved violently as the blue ribbon pulled harshly on it.

He knew Patrick’s cock needed pressure. After he pulled slightly back and thrust back into him again, he pressed his pelvis against Patrick. Captured Patrick’s cock between them. The guttural groan that came from Patrick told him he was on the right track.

Patrick continued to tug at the ribbon that restrained him. His wrists ached from it. His shoulder muscles nearly numb. His fingers practically vibrated with the need to touch David’s flesh.

David buried his face in Patrick’s neck. Kissed him there. As he moved in him. Thrusting. Thrusting. He worked to keep his movements slow and steady the way Patrick liked, while still maintaining the force that David loved. He kissed along Patrick’s jaw. He felt Patrick’s jaw clench under his soft lips. Felt him pull at the restraints.

“Take them off, Baby. I need your hands on me.” David’s voice was low. Breathless from working to maintain control.

Patrick’s arms moved quickly. His wrists moved, his hands moved, as he unwrapped from the ribbon. Once one hand was free of the ribbon, the other moved freely as well; blue ribbon still wrapped around his right wrist, sliding lose from where it was woven between the bars of the headboard. Both hands moved quickly to David’s body.  
  
Patrick groaned. Pain mixed with relief as his arms were able to drop lower than his shoulders. One hand, the one with the ribbon still on it, dropped to David’s ass. Pressed against him. The other rested on the back of David’s head, pressed him into Patrick’s neck.

“Yes.” Patrick exhaled. He was nearly there, David knew it. He felt Patrick’s fingers press into the flesh of his ass cheek. Patrick’s pelvis thrust harshly against David’s.

Patrick’s leaking, hard cock trapped between them throbbed. He breathed harshly as he moved to meet David’s thrusts. His fingers dug into the hair on the top of David’s head. Jerked David’s head back. Looked him in the eyes.

With each thrust he took, Patrick uttered the words he needed to say, “So. Good. So. Fucking. Good.”

David kissed him. His tongue dove deep into Patrick’s mouth.

Patrick, knowing that David needed, grabbed his hair again. Pulled David’s head back, breaking their kiss. “Harder. Fuck me.” Patrick commanded.

David’s arms moved under Patrick. Slid up under him and hooked around his shoulders to give him leverage. He pushed down against Patrick’s shoulders while he buried himself into him. Deeper. Fast. Harsh movements.

Patrick’s hands, both on David’s ass, pressed into his flesh. Pulled him. Spread him.

“Yes.” David managed to say. “Do it.” He grunted the words and then, “Fuck, yes.” As Patrick’s fingers found David’s hole. Toyed with him. One dry finger circling him.

Patrick moved his hand. Worked to slide it between them. He grasped his own cock. Ran his fingers through the precum that was flowing. Once his fingers were lubed, he returned his hand to David’s ass and pressed a finger into David.

“Patrick.” David’s voice grunted into his ear.

Patrick turned his face into David’s neck. Knew David liked it, so he sucked on his neck. His soft lips reveling at the rough stubble there. Nipped at him. Moved his mouth along David’s flesh. Sucked him. Bit lightly on his freckled shoulder. Left marks on him.

David’s breathing was ragged and rough. Patrick could tell he was near. He used one hand to pull on his ass cheek while a second finger joined the first into his hole. Not caring that his hands weren’t sufficiently lubed enough to make it a smooth glide. Knowing David would like it.

David’s groan, quiet in the room, sounded loud as it escaped his mouth and went directly into Patrick’s ear. Patrick felt David’s body tense over him. He pressed against Patrick. Patrick’s legs wrapped tightly around him. One arm moved around David’s back and pulled him closer. The fingers of the other hand still pressed inside of David. He held David as the wave slowly built and crashed over him.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” David said on each spasm. The words so quiet had anyone else been in the room they wouldn’t have heard them. He pressed into Patrick. Pressed against Patrick. Needed Patrick to hold him through the wave.

As his body tightened and spasmed, Patrick moved his arms. Both tight around David. The grip of his legs around David increased. Vice-like. He knew what David needed. He gave it to him. Pressure and no words; just the sound of breathing.

His face buried in the sweet curve of space between Patrick’s shoulder and his neck. David’s fingers gripped Patrick’s shoulders as he emptied himself into the condom.

As his body stilled, he realized Patrick had not yet joined him. He moved to get off him, to suck him off. Patrick’s legs wouldn’t allow it.

“Patrick, I need to…”

“Wait. Please.” Patrick’s voice was strained.

“Just let me hold the condom.” He whispered.

Patrick’s legs loosened their grip. David pulled back just enough to get a hand between them. He knew Patrick liked to feel him inside as long as they could manage it.

When he separated slightly, it provided enough room for Patrick’s right hand to slide between them. Patrick moaned as he wrapped a hand around his own cock and began to stroke himself. Tight, brisk movements brought him near the edge. He looked at David.

“David,” he pleaded.

David knew that Patrick needed to hear words to get him there. He moved his lips to Patrick’s neck. Kissed him. Kissed his jaw. Rubbed his stubbled cheek along Patrick’s neck and then breathed out the words that would carry Patrick over the edge. That would cause his nose to flare and his lips to thin. That would cause every muscle in his toned body to tightened and pulsate.

_I love you._

_Only you, Patrick._

_You protect me._

_Keep me safe._

_I love you, Patrick._

_God, I love you._

_I love you._

And when Patrick’s body had stilled, David pulled his waning cock out of him. Tied off the condom and tossed it to the end of the bed. Collapsed on top of Patrick. His head resting on Patrick’s chest while he listened to his racing heartbeat work to slow itself.

David rolled to his side. Slid off Patrick’s chest and curled up beside him. Cum sticking to both of their abdomens. Neither man wanted to move. Neither was ready to clean up and leave the moment.

David shivered.

“Cold?” Patrick asked him.

“How are you not?” David asked him. He kissed Patrick’s chest.

Patrick reached down to pull the sheet up over David.

“The ribbon is still on you.” David pulled Patrick’s right hand to him. Began to unwind the ribbon.

“Yeah… I just got one hand free…”

“Ohmygod, Patrick. There’s cum all over it.” David quietly chastised him.

“Sorry.” Patrick’s eyes shifted.

“No, you’re not.” David smiled at him.

Patrick shook his head. “No. I’m not.” His hands moved quickly to that ticklish spot on David’s abdomen. He laughed as David squealed and swatted at his hands.

++++++

He walked with his family back to the motel after Sunday brunch. Patrick was off on one of his hikes and David hadn’t yet checked in with Stevie. She was on duty, and he had plans to hang out with her in the office for part of the afternoon.

They sat on the couch and chatted. He filled her in on the party he was planning for Patrick’s birthday. He swore her to secrecy, he knew if any member of his family knew about it, they’d spoil the surprise.

“Let’s reserve their rooms now,” Stevie said. “We’ve had a full house almost every weekend for months. Don’t want to risk not having a spot.”

She moved to sit behind the desk. He leaned against the counter. Rested his chin on his hand.

She called up the calendar and scrolled forward to Patrick’s birthday weekend and started the reservation. “What are their names again?” She asked.

“Oh, we can’t put their names on there. Doesn’t my dad see that?” David shook his head quickly.

“Right. What name do you want to put on there?” She asked him.

“I don’t’ know.” He shrugged.

“Bob and Linda Belcher,” she said as she typed the names in with a wicked smile on her face.

“Ew. No. That seems disrespectful.” He told her.

“Fine,” She rolled her eyes. “Molly and Arthur Weasley.” She typed.

He shook his head. “I don’t know who that is.”

“Shut up. You know you do.” She shot him a look.

He rolled his eyes. Lifted his chin. “Fine. You’re right. They’re sweet.”

“And your dad will have no clue who they are.” Stevie added.

“M’kay.” His lips moved into a slight curl thinking of Patrick’s parents being there for a weekend.

“Done,” she said. “Anyone else need a room? Anyone else coming?”

“Like who?” He asked.

“Your little goat friends?” Stevie asked, not hiding the snark from her voice.

“Uh oh!” He bent his knees and scrunched up his face. “Sounds like someone is jealous of my friendship with other people.”

“Not jealous,” she shot back at him. “Just annoyed there are more people I have to eventually meet… and be nice to.”

“Well, either way, I don’t know. I haven’t talked with them to tell them about it yet.” David told her.

“Are you going to invite them?” She asked.

“Of course. Terri is like… his best friend or whatever.” David waved his hand.

Stevie rolled her eyes at him. “I’ll reserve the room. If they tell you they can’t be here, I’ll open the room back up.”

++++++

“There’s Ronnie. Go talk to her.” David nudged Patrick.  
  
“She’s eating lunch right now. I don’t want to interrupt her.” Patrick mumbled.

Just then, Ronnie stood from the table where she had been eating. She sauntered up to the counter to pay her bill. She nodded her head and greeted them with an indifferent, “Fellas.”

David nudged Patrick in the lower back and then turned to pay their lunch bill.

“Hey, Ronnie!” Patrick’s voice sounded overly cheerful. “Glad we ran into you. We’re… uh… thinkin’ ‘bout redoing the restroom over at the store. Wonderin’ if you’d want to put a bid in on it.” Patrick tried his best to sound casual. He could not put his finger on why, but he knew that Ronnie had never really cared much for him.

Ronnie pulled her head back slightly, and shook her head, “No. That’s not the way it works.”

“I’m… uh…” Patrick looked to the side, huffed out a laugh. Crammed his hands deep into the front pockets of his jeans. “I’m not sure what you mean, Ronnie.”

David took his change from Twyla. Quietly thanked her. Kept his eyes on Patrick.

“I don’t bid on private jobs,” Ronnie crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes locked on Patrick’s face. Waiting for him to make eye contact.

Ronnie took a little pleasure in making people squirm. She didn’t mind him so much, really; but she wondered why everyone in town seemed to love him. _He’s not all that special_ , she surmised some time ago.

If you were to ask her, and she deemed you worthy of knowing her thoughts, she’d tell you that she liked giving him shit. _Everybody gives this golden boy too much credit._

But what she wouldn’t tell you, what she wouldn’t tell another soul… ever… was that he seemed like a solid, smart, good guy. But in this town she ran – and don’t ever be mistaken, Ronnie ran this town – she was used to eccentric people and oddballs. She wasn’t used to dealing with someone sensible. Measured in his responses. In control of himself. She spotted him early in his stay in town. She knew if she didn’t put him in his place, he’d give her a run for her money. So, she gave him shit. Every chance she had.

She was very aware that he was intimidated by her. Most in town were. Other than her fellow town council members, most people either turned and left the area when she arrived, or stumbled over their words around her. She kind of liked it that way.

“Sorry, Ronnie. I… uh… didn’t mean to offend you. My uncle… he’s a… uh… contractor and I thought…”

“Well, your uncle isn’t here now, is he?” She challenged him.

“No. No, no. He’s not. So… Ronnie… how does it work. If we were to… uh… hire you….”

“You don’t hire me. I decide if I want to spend my time working on your project. If I decide I do, I’ll tell you how much you’ll pay me and when it will be done. Then you’ll pay me half, I’ll do it, then you’ll pay me the other half.” She said.

David nudged Patrick in the lower back again. Patrick turned and looked at him. Brushed his hand away. Quietly chastised him with a rough, “David. Stop.”

He turned back to her. “Ronnie, we’d… that is… David and I… we’d like to ask you to consider looking at the restroom at the store and seeing if it would be a project that you’d be willing to… do…”

“So good, Patrick.” David whispered quietly behind him. And then, because he couldn’t resist, he added, “Taking charge.”

Patrick looked at David and gave him the face. The face he gives him when he’s annoyed at him, but knows that he deserves the shit he’s being served. 

“That’s better.” Ronnie nodded.

Ronnie paid Twyla for her meal. “Let’s go.” She said and walked between David and Patrick. Out the door of the café.

Patrick looked at David. Cocked his head to the side.

David looked at Patrick.

“So… she’s talking… now?” Patrick asked.

David waved his hands in front of himself, indicating that Patrick should hurry to the door. “Go. Go, go, go.” 

++++++

It was a Monday night. Patrick drove them to Elmdale with plans to go to the gym while David went to his board meeting.

He liked when Patrick drove him places. He shut his eyes and listened to the music that played on the radio station that Patrick liked to listen to. Songs from different genres and different time periods played randomly. David listened to Patrick sing the songs.

 _How does he know every word to every song?_ David wondered, not for the first time.

“I’m glad you could drive me tonight,” David leaned back in his seat, turned his head toward Patrick.

“Not sure I’ll be able to for a while. Rehearsals starting soon. Thought they might start this week, but I guess not.” He said.

“Mom’s having trouble finding her Sally,” David nodded.

“Kinda surprised to hear that she’s taken over as director,” Patrick nodded. He turned down the radio.

“Does that bother you?” David asked him.

“No. Not really. Just… kinda kicks it up a notch, doesn’t it?” He glanced over at David, then back to the road.

“Meaning?” David asked.

“When it was Jocelyn, I just figured we’d have a little amateur production. Maybe over at the high school. But…”

“Now that it’s my mom, it is going to be bigger,” David nodded. “I see what you mean… is that a bad thing? Do you think?”

“No. No, no. I think… I mean… I don’t know who she’s going to cast as Sally. That could make or break it, probably, but… I think it could be good.” Patrick said.

“She will stop at nothing but perfection,” David nodded.

++++++

Patrick thought about David throughout his workout. David’s first therapy appointment was scheduled for the following day. He wasn’t sure what that meant. Wasn’t sure if it was going to be no big deal. He wasn’t sure if David was going to unravel in front of his eyes.

Patrick had never really known anyone who went to therapy before and he knew, logically, that therapy was a good thing for David. Knew that David probably needed to work through a few things with a professional.

But he also worried. Worried that there might be something in there that a therapist would dig up that would make matters worse; make the panic attacks happen more often.

And he recognized that it was irrational, but… maybe it would cause David to think he may want something… or someone… different. Patrick stopped the treadmill… pushed the thought out of his mind.

He pulled the earbuds from his ears. Dropped them in his pocket. Turned off the music from his phone and headed to the car.

When he arrived early to The AIDS Center, he waited dutifully in the parking lot. He knew full well that David would be among the last of the board members to leave. Knew he’d stay later to talk to Cody. Cody, after all, had been the first person to talk to David about seeing a therapist. Cody.

Patrick should be thankful for Cody. He knew he should. And he was… kind of.

++++++

As the board meeting came to a close, David grabbed his black bag, tossed his coffee cup into the trash, and headed for the door.

A couple of the board members stopped him before he could make his escape. Chatted with him. Small talk. Asked him about the store or… whatever. He answered them. His eye on the door, knowing Patrick was waiting.

He eventually made his escape. Happy to be away from them. Happy to be headed to Patrick’s car. His stomach had been full of butterflies, and not the good kind, all _fucking_ day.

He waved when he saw Patrick’s smiling face. He moved quickly across the parking lot. Patrick reached across the passenger seat and opened the car door from inside. Pushed it open for him.

“Thank you, Mr. Brewer.” David batted his lashes. Flirted with his boyfriend who was all sweaty from his workout.  
  
David liked to see Patrick after a workout. The t-shirt he wore was damp in the center of his chest. Under his arms. David liked how he smelled straight from the gym.  
  
David leaned over for a kiss. He rested his hand on Patrick’s bare knee. As their kiss deepened, he inched his hand up Patrick’s thigh. Inside the leg of his shorts.

Patrick’s hand on the nape of David’s neck pulled him in closer.

David liked when Patrick did that. Took charge and pulled him in. Liked when Patrick moaned like that into his mouth.

Patrick’s hand moved to David’s chest and pushed him back slightly. “David, we need to stop.”

David pulled back only to rest his forehead against Patrick’s. “I like you straight from the gym. All sporty spice.” David teased him.

“What would you say if I offered to take you for some ice cream before we leave town?” Patrick changed the subject to something he knew would get David’s attention. Patrick was masterful at changing the subject if he needed to.

“I’d say start the car and let’s go.” David latched his seat belt, leaned back in his seat, and returned his hand to Patrick’s upper thigh.

++++++

They sat in Patrick’s car. Lights off. Car silent. In the parking lot outside of David’s room.

“You sure you don’t want to spend the night at my house?” Patrick asked him.

David shook his head. “Alexis and I made plans to be here this week at night. Mom’s a little crazy right now with the casting. We want to be sure they have some stability right now.”

Patrick offered a quiet and slow, “OK.” He loved how much David did for his family. Loved how strong David was for them.

“Thank you, though.” David said. He leaned over for a quick kiss and then reached to open the door.

“David?” Patrick’s voice sounded unsure.

“Hmmm?” David turned to him.

“You OK? You need to talk or anything?” Patrick asked him.

“Talk about…?”

“Tomorrow? Therapy?” Patrick reminded him. “You remember you have therapy tomorrow, right? 10:30? Elmdale?”

“Yes,” David smiled at him. “Of course, I remember. Don’t worry. I’m fine. No worries. I have everything I want to tell her in my mind. I’m ready.”

“All right. Um… if you need me tonight? Even if it’s at two in the morning. If you can’t sleep. Just call me.” Patrick said.

“That’s very kind of you. Thank you.” David told him. An affable lilt to his voice.

Patrick wanted to argue with him. _Kind of me? KIND of me? That’s what you say to a stranger. I’m your partner. Your boyfriend._

But Patrick didn’t argue. He just gave David a kiss goodnight and watched him walk to his room, go inside, and shut the door behind himself.

++++++

It wasn’t long after he was inside. He’d dropped his bag. He’d poked his head into his parent’s room. He spoke quietly to his dad who sat at the table reading the paper. His mom had fallen to sleep early. According to his father, she was so upset at not finding the right Sally that she had popped a pill and cried a bit. Fell to sleep early.

David nodded at his dad, “Not a bad idea.”

He had texted his sister who replied “Who dis” followed by eight *Laughing with tears emoji* signs.

It was then he learned that she had decided at the last minute to stay with Ted and she was glad that David was at the motel to “Hold down the fort.” David was absolutely certain that she had no fucking clue what “Hold down the fort” even meant.

Annoyed, he stood in the shower. Let the hot water wash over is body. He was tired. His sleep had been fitful the previous nights. Even in Patrick’s arms, he couldn’t put his mind to rest.

If he were honest, he’d tell you that he was worried about therapy approaching. Sure, he’d had therapy before. This time, though, felt different. More people knew that he was going. People who _cared_ about him knew.

After his shower, he took his time with his moisturizing routine. Face. Body. Cuticles.

He wore his most comfortable sleep clothes, and got into bed. He stared blankly at the pages of the magazine he held.

His phone buzzed. He assumed it was Patrick.

_Terri Morgan (10:07 pm):_

‘Check in text. You doing OK?’

_David Rose (10:07 pm):_

‘Fine. Why do you ask?’

_Terri Morgan (10:07 pm):_

‘Your appointment is tomorrow.’

_David Rose (10:07 pm):_

‘You’ve been talking to Patrick’

_Terri Morgan (10:08 pm):_

‘Nope. Wrote it down when you told me about it.’

_David Rose (10:08 pm):_

‘You’re keeping track of my therapy appointment.’

_Terri Morgan (10:08 pm):_

*Shoulder shrug emoji* ‘Habit.’

‘You OK?’

_David Rose (10:08 pm):_

‘I’m fine. I know exactly what I’m going to tell her.’

‘I’ve thought the whole thing through and I’m ready.’

_Terri Morgan (10:09 pm):_

‘What do you mean?’

_David Rose (10:09 pm):_

‘The story I’m going to tell her. About my past.’

_Terri Morgan (10:09 pm):_

‘I’m going to call you. Is that OK?’

_David Rose (10:09 pm):_

‘Why?’

_Terri Morgan (10:10 pm):_

‘I want to talk about it with you.’

‘Don’t want to text it.’

_David Rose 10:10 pm):_

‘Fine.’

His phone vibrated with the incoming call.

Did he want to have a phone conversation with Terri while he sat in his bed? _Absolutely not._

Did one simply ignore an incoming call from Terri Morgan? _Absolutely not._

“Hi, Terri.” He said quietly in his phone. He reached over and turned off his bedside lamp. Sat in the dark. He had hoped if his dad saw no lights on, he would think David was asleep and wouldn’t interrupt him.

“All right, David. I know this isn’t my business, but I’m making it my business.” She said. Straight forward. No _hello_. No _how are you_. No bullshit.

David shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re saying you have a story ready to tell your therapist tomorrow. What do you mean?” She asked.

David’s phone vibrated with an incoming text. He pulled his phone away from his face and looked.

Patrick _. He’ll have to wait._

David told her, “I mean I know what I’m going to tell her. I’ve thought it through. From beginning to end. Rehearsed it probably 20 times by now.”

Terri was quiet.

David waited.

“Just say it.” He said.

“You’ve been to a couple of therapists before.” She said.

“Yes.” He nodded his head.

“You’ve said for each of them, you only lasted one or two appointments.” She said.

“That’s right. They just weren’t any good.” He told her.

Terri was quiet.

David waited.

“Terri… for fuck’s sake. Just say it.”

“David, I wasn’t there with you. So… I don’t know and can’t say for sure. I can only tell you my experience as a….”

David interrupted her. “Terri, you don’t have to monitor every word with me. Just say it.”

“I think you might have sabotaged your therapy process in the past and I want to help you not do that this time.” She told him bluntly. Talked to him like she’d never talk to a client.

David’s phone vibrated again. Another text. Patrick.

“What? How the fuck would I be sabotaging my process if I know what happened and I want to tell her what happened?” David asked.

She came from a place of knowing. Of seeing too many clients fall by the wayside because their therapy wasn’t successful. Too many times, clients either glossed over the parts that they knew will be too painful to talk about. Avoided topics that need to be worked through. Or, clients not realizing the importance of experiences that, in their minds, were small and insignificant.

“Because you’d be setting the narrative rather than letting her do her job. You’d be driving the process. You need to let her drive, David.” Terri told him.

He shut his eyes. Pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and his forefinger. “I don’t know what that means. Talk like a normal person, Terri. Please.”

Terri was quiet for a moment.

David waited.

“David,” Terri tried a new approach. “If an older woman with dry skin came into your store and wanted to buy a skin care line that helps with acne what would you do?”

“I’d ask her if it was for a teenager in her life.” He responded.

“And if she said it was for her and not a teenager?” Terri asked him.

His phone vibrated with an incoming call. He pulled his phone away from his face. Patrick. He pressed _Decline._

He took a breath. He exhaled.

“I’d talk with her about our line for …. OK. I see. I see what you’re saying.” He said.

“You know about skin care. You know about the differences of the product.” She tried to make an easy analogy.

“Yes.”  
  
“And you care about the product being used correctly, so you wouldn’t just sell the acne product meant for a teenager with oily skin if you thought it was for someone older who maybe didn’t have that problem.”

“That’s correct.”

“So, David… I’m saying… let your therapist do her job. Let her lead the way.” Terri told him.

“What does that mean? I’m not supposed to tell her what happened?” He asked.

Terri clarified, “I’m saying that if you get caught in your own narrative. If you have in your mind what you want to tell her, you might get caught in a situation you were in before when you didn’t have success in therapy.”

“How would I get… _caught in my narrative_.” David was loath to use the therapeutic terms Terri had offered since they had started talking a couple of weeks prior.

“When you have in your mind what you want to tell her, you might… maybe… lose sight of something really important that she might see if you let her explore with you. When you drive the conversation, you don’t allow that process to happen.”

He held up his hand in frustration and flopped it on his lap. His voice raised an octave. “So, what do I do? If I don’t start with my story, where do I start?”

“You start with a sentence.” She told him.

David was quiet.

Terri was quiet.

“Damnit, Terri. I don’t know what that means.”

“David. I mean you have a sentence. You just start there. Then you turn the reins over to her and let her ask questions and lead the way.”

David sighed. “Give me an example.”

Terri paused before quietly saying, “When I was 26, my little sister Lilly was shot and killed at a college party.”

“Jesus.” David huffed out a sort of laugh. “That’s rather macabre.”

Terri was quiet for a moment before she answered, “Yup.”

“Oh m’god, Terri. Is that… is that your sentence?”

“I’m going to help you with yours… you get to know mine.” She said flatly.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Terri.” David said. He suddenly had a whole new feeling for this friend of theirs. “I’m really very sorry.”

“Well, David. I’m sorry you experienced what you did.” She told him.

“So… my sentence…?” David changed the subject.

“ _When I was blank years old, blank happened_. That’s all you need to do.” Terri told him.

David thought about it for a moment.

“Got it.” He told her.

“I’m going to need you to say it.” She told him.

David’s phone rang again. _Patrick._ He declined the call, again. _Damnit, Patrick. Stop fucking calling me._

“Why?” He asked her.

“Because we’re going to practice it.”

“Fine.” He sighed.

David told her his sentence.

“You added too much. Don’t put the because you were drunk in there. You’re labeling and saying that’s the cause. You didn’t cause any of that David. You were the victim, not the reason it happened.” Terri coached him.

David took another shot at his sentence.

“That’s it.” She told him. “That’s good. Now say it again.”

He said his sentence again.

“Excellent.” She told him.

“So, then I have to come up with the next sentence?” He asked her.

“No. No, David. If she’s a good therapist, and by all accounts she is… she will do the rest. Trust her. Trust the process.” Terri told him.

“Just _trust_ her?” He asked. Skepticism dripped from his voice.

“If the older woman who comes into your store wants to pick up the acne skin care line…” Terri started.

“Right. I would want her to trust me to know what to buy.” He nodded.

“Your therapist will get you where you need to go. Only if you let her. If you give her the right sentence, the bottom line. Just start with a sentence. She will take you from there.”

“How?”

“She’ll ask you questions. You answer every question she gives you. You answer it honestly. You answer it openly. You tell her everything you’ve told me. You tell her things you’ve never told another living soul. You leave nothing out. But you don’t drive it. Let her take you there. Answer her questions and then let her process the answers with you before you move on.” Terri wanted to tell him so much more, but knew she was already talking too much.

He nodded. “I can do that.”

“David.” She said.

David waited.

“You’ve spent a lot of years pushing this down. Ignoring it. You’ve spent a lot of years using defense mechanisms to deal with it. You’re going to do that with her and you won’t even know you’re doing it.” Terri warned him.

“Like?” He asked.

“Like using sarcasm and humor to deflect and derail the conversation to a more comfortable place for you.” Terri said.

“That’s fair.” He said.

“And it’s going to get very hard before it gets better.” Terri told him.

“Yeah. Patrick told me you said as much.” David told her.

“So… you good?” She asked.

“I’m good.” He nodded his head confidently.

“You’ve got this.” She told him.

“Terri?”

“Yeah?”

“How long is this going to take? Like how many sessions?” He asked.

“Not sure, David.” Terri said. “But… I’d say if you really work it, if you’re honest and do the work… it may take a while.”

“Weeks?” He asked.

“Months.” She said quietly.

“M’Kay.” His voice also quiet.

“Do the homework.” She sounded like a protective mother sending her kid off into the world.

“I never excelled at homework.” He joked.

“Do it. And, David… get Patrick involved if you need to. You may need to take him to a session or two if anything you’re working through ends up tying to your relationship.” She warned.

“Got it.” He nodded his head.

“And talk to him. The more he knows, the less he’ll worry. He can be involved in the healing process. The homework.” She encouraged.

David sighed.

“OK, OK. I’m done. I’ll stop.” Terri said.

“Thank you, Terri.” David grinned into his phone.

“Any time, David.”

++++++

Patrick settled in at home. Took a quick shower. Got ready for bed. He worried about David so he shot him a text to check in.

_You (10:11 pm):_

‘You in bed?’

Patrick waited. No response came. David usually responded immediately during their goodnight texts.

He tried again.

_You (10:15 pm):_

‘David are you OK?’

Patrick didn’t like the idea of David not answering his texts. Not on that night.

He paced in his apartment. He decided to call David. The phone only rang twice before it was sent immediately to voice mail. David had declined the call.

“David, just checking in. I’m worried about you. Please just let me know that you are… just… text me back, please?”

Patrick waited a moment longer. He moved for his shoes. Pulled them on. Grabbed his wallet. His keys. His phone. Then, he left the apartment.

On his way down the stairs he called him again. Again, after only two rings, he was sent directly to voice mail.

“David. I’m coming over to check on you. Hoping you’ll let me in. I’m headed out now.”

Patrick jogged to his car. He strapped in. He drove far faster than he should.

++++++

“OK, OK. I’m done. I’ll stop.” Terri said.

“Thank you, Terri.”

“Any time, David.”

David hung up with Terri and looked at his phone. Two voice mails from Patrick.

 _Wow, he’s insistent tonight._ David thought to himself.

He listened to the first voice mail. “David, just checking in. I’m worried about you. Please just let me know that you are… just… text me back, please?”

He heard a car pull up outside his bedroom.

He began to listen to the second voice mail. “David. I’m coming over to check on you. Hoping you’ll let me in. I’m headed out now.”

He realized it was Patrick pulling up outside. He turned on his bedside lamp. He stood and moved to open the door. Just as he opened it, Patrick held up his hand, ready to knock.

Patrick jerked back in surprise. “David? Are you OK?”

David stepped back into the room. Waved Patrick in. Quietly spoke. “I’m fine. Fine. I was … I’m fine.”

Patrick moved directly for him. Took the door from him and shut it. Immediately wrapped his arms around David’s waist. Kissed David’s neck.

“You didn’t answer,” Patrick told him. “You always answer.”

“Not when I’m on the phone with someone.” David’s arms encompassed Patrick’s shoulders. Pulled him in, because he would never say no to a tight hug and a neck kiss from Patrick.

“It seemed like it took forever. I was worried.” Patrick told him.

“What about?” David asked.

“You. I was worried about you.” Patrick told him. Another kiss on the neck. “It just… you didn’t answer for a long time and I worried.”

“I was on a phone call that was literally less than 20 minutes long.” David said.

“Who were you talking to?” Patrick asked him. Brow furrowed.

“Terri.”

Patrick pulled back so he could look at David. “Oh… Um… Where’s Alexis?” He looked over David’s shoulder around the room.

“Ted’s.” David moved to the bed. Sat down.

Patrick sat on Alexis’s bed. Faced David. “Mmmm.” He nodded.

They sat quietly for a moment. Patrick’s eyes suddenly busy watching his own fingers as he held them, folded in his lap.

“You want me to tell you about the Terri conversation?” David asked him. Knowing Patrick would not outright ask him.

Patrick shook his head. “No. No, no. I don’t have to know that. I just… I worried…”

“Patrick, why are you worried?” David asked him again.

“I, um, was thinking with all that tomorrow held, you might be… thinkin’ about stuff… and maybe… you were… kinda… upset?” Patrick tried to put the words together in a way that wouldn’t set David off.

David patted the bed beside himself.

Patrick moved. Sat beside David. Put an arm around him.

David leaned into him. Looked into his eyes. “Stay the night?”

“OK,” Patrick said in that slow, yummy way that turned David’s insides into mush.

After kicking off his shoes, Patrick settled into the bed. Partly on his back, partly on his side. Expecting David to want to spoon when he joined Patrick.

David turned off the lamp. He settled in, facing Patrick. Rested his head on Patrick’s shoulder. Draped a leg over Patrick’s. Pulled the covers up over them.

They were quiet for a moment before David said, “I’m on the wrong side. I need to hear your heartbeat.”

Patrick chuckled. They both moved. Two grown men in a twin bed much too small for them. But they would make it work. They’d made it work in the past. And, creatures of habit, they had their “sides of the bed” and they both slept better when they were on them.

Settled in, hearing Patrick’s heartbeat under his ear, David patted Patrick’s belly and declared, “That’s better.”

Patrick’s right hand rested under his head. His left busied itself with David’s hair. “Do you need to talk about anything?”

“She helped me come up with a sentence to start therapy.” David said. His voice a near whisper in the dark room. The palm of his hands rubbing circles on Patrick’s abdomen.

“Just a sentence?” Patrick asked. 

“Apparently more than that can _derail therapy_. Take it to a place that maybe isn’t where it needs to go.” David said.

“Mmmm.” Patrick said.

“Want to hear my sentence?” David asked him. His hand moved to Patrick’s side. Pulled him closer.

Patrick felt his heart jump in his chest.

“If you want to share it, I want to hear it.” Patrick said. He held his breath. Afraid any movement, any response, might be the wrong one.

David told him his sentence.

Both men were quiet.

Patrick’s stomach did a flip-flop. He pushed the anger down that began to burn inside. He wanted to get up and punch the living daylights out of the person who did it.

Instead he moved his hand from David’s hair to his back. He stroked him gently. He whispered, “I’m sorry that happened.”

David said nothing. He looked up at Patrick. They locked eyes. David’s eyes dropped to Patrick’s lips.

Patrick watched him. He liked when he noticed David look at his lips. He picked his head off the pillow and leaned toward David for a kiss.

David reached toward Patrick. Then he moved. Raised himself up so he could deepen the kiss.

Patrick worked to remain where he was. Over the past week or so, David had taken charge of all of their sexual encounters. Patrick worked to let him have control throughout. He was worried about David. Worried about himself. Worried he’d make the wrong move while David likely had memories he was working through.

David shifted himself. His kiss pushed Patrick’s head back onto his pillow.

David’s left hand found its way under Patrick’s t-shirt. He deepened the kiss as his hand moved over Patrick. Pushed Patrick’s t-shirt up.

He kissed Patrick’s abdomen. Up his chest.

Patrick’s legs shifted, opened to make room for David between them. David kissed him again. Deep. Loving. Sensual. Then he moved his mouth lower. Kissed Patrick’s chest. His abdomen. He worked his way down.

Patrick captured David’s face in his hands. “Hey. Hey.” He whispered.

David looked up at him.

“I didn’t come here for this.” Patrick murmured. Wanted to be sure David knew.

David smiled. “I’m glad you’re here.” He went back to kissing Patrick’s abdomen.

Patrick lifted his hips as David tugged on his shorts.

He shut his eyes as he felt Patrick’s hand gently cup the back of his head as his mouth settled around Patrick’s cock.

Patrick exhaled at the familiar warmth of David’s mouth. His tongue.

The room was silent with the exception of the occasional outside noise. And the sounds of suction and release from David. And the quiet gasps and groans that Patrick tried, unsuccessfully, to hold in.

++++++

It was late in the night. David was still awake. Patrick slept, partly under him. David rested his head on Patrick’s chest.

David worried about telling the therapist. He’d not told many about the incident. Sure, he’d told Trixie. She had been with him in the days while he waited for the test. She had taken that opportunity to remind him of her rules. Of not allowing anyone… _anyone_ … to fuck him without a condom. She had scolded him for not remembering the rules. Scolded him for allowing it to happen.

As he thought about telling his sentence to the therapist, he felt the butterflies start again. He didn’t like it. Butterflies were supposed to be about good things.

When he’d thought of the incident, he always felt foolish. It was his fault. He should have known better. Trixie was right.

He had been afraid to tell anyone else, and hadn’t until he told Terri a couple of weeks prior. She had not reacted in any way. She took in the information. Nonjudgmental.

He had never told Patrick. Was afraid of what Patrick would say. Telling him his sentence was the first time he’d even come close. Though he appreciated Patrick’s measured response, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever tell him the details.

He worried. Worried how the therapist would respond. What her face would do when he told her. Would she tell him it was his fault the way Trixie had?

He knew, logically, she’d likely do what Terri did. Listen. Show nothing on her face. And express some sort of… empathy… about the incident.

He wasn’t sure he wanted that. He just wanted… he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure what he wanted. He wanted it to all go away. He’d worked his entire adult life to just make it all go away.

Patrick moved under him. Groaned a little and rolled. Rolled onto his left side. Rolled toward David. David knew what he was doing. Patrick wanted to hold him in a spoon.

David rolled onto his left side. Backed up against Patrick who, still sleeping, wrapped an arm around David. Muscle memory. Pulled David toward him and tightly wrapped his arm, protectively, around David’s chest.

The position soothed David. The way he slept best. He reached his hands to hold onto Patrick’s arm. He shut his eyes. And willed himself to relax.

++++++

David parked. He took a photo of the front of the building.

_You (10:27 am):_

*David sent the picture he took of the front of his therapist’s office*

He got out of Patrick’s car. Patrick had insisted David take it. He pulled on the hem of his sweater. Adjusted it. Walked toward the building.

Just as he was ready to open the door, his phone buzzed.

_Terri Morgan (10:29):_

*Thumbs up emoji*

‘You start with a sentence.’

‘You got this.’

David smiled and walked into the building.

++++++

“Hi, David,” she greeted him with a handshake.

She indicated with a slight movement of her hand that he could sit on the couch. He sat near the corner. Picked up a pillow. Held it on his lap. Hugged it to himself.

She placed a bottle of water beside him on the end table that held a box of Kleenex. A note pad and pen. A basket of items intended for him to hold, play with, if he needed to occupy his hands while they talked.

“I read the information you submitted on the documents I requested. Thank you for doing that.” She said as she settled in the armchair across from him.

She held a note pad in her lap. She watched him.

He nodded. His eyes shifted around the room. Took in the bookshelf. The wall art. The rug beneath their feet.

“Tell me, David, what brings you in to see me?” She asked him.

He looked at her. His stomach was full of a kaleidoscope of butterflies… and not in a good way.

He took a deep breath. Let it out slowly.

She offered a kind smile. “Take your time.” She said.

Another deep breath. His hands shook. His left hand found the rings on his right.

He shook his head a little as he raised his chin.

She waited for him.

He cleared his throat.

He swallowed.

She waited.

Another deep breath.

And then he spoke. He told her his sentence.

“The week I turned 21… I believe… No, I know, I was sexually assaulted.”

He watched her face. Watched her to see how she would react.

She locked eyes with him. Nodded her head. Her facial expression remained neutral. And she said, “Let’s talk about that.”

++


	21. Reallllly Not a Fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David watches Patrick play a ball game. The two enjoy some private time in the office at the store. They hire Ronnie to work on the tile in the store's bathroom. They spend time alone while the store is closed and Ronnie works. Patrick gets upset when Ronnie doesn't meet the agreed-upon deadline and the only thing to calm him down is a conversation David has with an old friend. David and Patrick visit with Stevie when they hear she is upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place before, during, and after Episode 5.08  
> +++  
> Dearest readers:  
> If you've been waiting on this one, I apologize. My mind has been very occupied as I watched (for the first time) Shameless. I'm working hard to not fall deep into that fandom. 
> 
> I've enjoyed that show and discussions around it on twitter and while I was there, I ran into Bev (we have a Schitt's Creek connection on twitter - and we've learned we have a few other "interests" in common. *Winking face emoji*) 
> 
> As I've blathered on about my love for a couple of Shameless characters to my nearest and dearest in Discord (DisgruntledPelican and ElswhereFumbling), they waited patiently and then said, "Yeah... but about David and Patrick..." 
> 
> And then there is my S.O. She listened night after night as I flipped my iPad opened and turned on a new show (instead of writing like I typically do). She listened as I watched. She fell asleep as I watched late into the night. And at one point said, "I know you're falling for that show. You want to write about it, don't you?" To which I responded, "I don't know. Maybe." And her response was, "You cannot start that until you're finished with David and Patrick. You just can't." 
> 
> Every night for the last two weeks my SO has said, "Are you going to write tonight?" 
> 
> So, for the past week, I've been back to writing. And I promise I will continue. Thank you for giving me space for the break I took. And thanks to S.O. for kicking my ass back into gear. 
> 
> Because of her persistence, I have this chapter done and one nearly ready to post, and two in the works. So maybe there won't be another dry spell for a while. *Winking face emoji*
> 
> +++
> 
> This chapter is, of course, touching on the whole Ronnie/Patrick thing. The store. The bathroom. But I'm using it, also to touch on Stevie's moment of need. In addition, I'm using it to remind us all that a good relationship has a give and take. One person does for the other when they need it. One person carries more weight than the other - until they need to shift the weight. I try to write that healthy sharing of responsibility with David and Patrick. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.  
> *Red heart emoji*  
> \- PD
> 
> +++

++++++

He stood in the outfield. He noticed David as he made his way into the stands.

When he saw David wave, he tugged on the brim of his Café Tropical hat. Then pounded his fist into his glove. He tugged on the leg of his white knee-breeches. Leaned forward, ready for the ball.

Patrick remembered the feeling of having David in the stands when he coached the Little League team. That feeling was ten-fold with Patrick in full uniform and actually playing. David hadn’t seen him in uniform and, actually, had never seen Patrick play.

Patrick knew he was good. He was an MVP several times in his high school career. He was always sought-after on the adult recreational leagues he played on in college and after. He felt satisfied, knowing David was watching. He felt strong. Sexy. Virile.

He saw David blow him a kiss. He smiled at David. His eyes lingered on him…

Then the softball flew past him. Right over his left shoulder. Had he been standing two inches in that direction he’d have been beaned between the eyes.

“Ffff….” Patrick started to cuss at himself, but instead moved to get the ball that had stopped several yards behind him. He retrieved the ball and threw it to second base.

“Get your head in the game, dude!” the person playing on first yelled at him.

“Sorry! Sorry!” He called back. He didn’t know the person’s name. They’d only had one practice before this first game. As the captain of the group, he should probably know them better.

He shook it off, worked to ignore David, and kept his eye on the ball.

++++++

David closed the store as quickly as he could. He left the end of the day chores, knowing Patrick would want him to be at the game. He walked quickly to the ball park. He knew to look for the people wearing Café Tropical shirts.

He found a spot in the stands and turned to face the baseball court. Before he sat, he shielded his eyes against the early evening sun. He spotted Patrick far out there. He held his hand up in a wave. Waiting for that sweet little greeting-thing he hadn’t seen since the previous summer.

There it was. He smiled as he watched Patrick tug on his hat and smile. Watched him lean over and put his hands on his knees.

David sat and kept his eyes on him. He hadn’t actually seen the uniform. When Patrick had gone to practice earlier in the week, he wore his little sporty-spice shorts that he wore to do his workouts at the gym.

He had on those form-fitting white pants. Green socks. A belt. It was a cute ensemble. It definitely worked on Patrick’s body. David squirmed in his seat, trying to not call attention to the fact that he was adjusting himself. Thought about what he might do to Patrick in that outfit, later.

He held his fingers up to his lips and kissed them and blew the kiss to Patrick. Patrick smiled at him. David knew that if he were closer, he’d see Patrick blushing. And then…

“FUCK! That ball almost hit him!” David squealed.

He watched Patrick turn and retrieve the baseball from the ground. Throw it to someone. He kept his eyes on Patrick from that moment forward. And Patrick never once looked back up at David.

When Patrick coached the youths the summer before, Patrick stood off to the side. He seldom touched the ball. He mostly told kids when to run and he cheered for them. But in this game? He was active. _Very_ active.

 _Oh, I like that. I like that… a lot._ David thought to himself as he watched Patrick calmly and competently call commands to people. Cheer for them. Catch and throw the ball with ease and skill.

 _I’m certain I do not like that._ David thought to himself as he witnessed Patrick lean over and spit into the grass. Dig his pants out of his ass crack as though it were an every-day occurrence and there were not dozens of people in the stands watching him.

David clapped when the people around him clapped. Patrick and his teammates ran to the cage that held the players. It was then that David looked for the scoreboard. Patrick had taught him to read it the previous summer. It was the top of the fourth inning. David sighed to himself. _This is going to be a long game._

He perked up when he saw Patrick leave the cage and pick up a bat. He wore a hard-plastic helmet and he… _well_ … David enjoyed that stance as Patrick waited to hit the ball. _His ass looks good in those pants._

Patrick hit the ball and David clapped gleefully. He liked that his boyfriend was good at the baseball. As David watched him stand on a base, step away from it, run to the next base, he smiled. He’s good at the sports. He’s good at music. He’s good at business. _He’s such a fucking catch._

++++++

After they made out in Patrick’s car. After David mustered every ounce of control that he had in him and turned down Patrick’s request for him to go back to Patrick’s apartment to spend the night. After Patrick made David promise to spend every waking moment over the coming weekend with him. After David agreed, with much excitement, to sit through something Patrick called a doubleheader. After Patrick assured him that a doubleheader did not mean what David flirtatiously had suggested. After all of that, David gave him one more quick kiss and he stepped out of Patrick’s car and waved as Patrick drove out of the motel parking lot.

He collected his things for his evening shower. As he walked to the bathroom, he glanced into his parents’ room and caught sight of his mother standing with her back to him.

David put his things down on his table and went to check on her.

He noticed she was looking intently at a bulletin board with photos on it. Her casting board. His eyes lingered on Patrick’s picture. His heart skipped a beat. _Patrick Brewer as The Emcee._

“Ronnie as Fraulein Schneider.” David commented.

His mother looked over her shoulder at him, and then back to the board. Her chin resting in her hand. “Mmmmm.” She made a noise.

“I can see it.” He nodded.  
  
He stood beside her. His arms crossed over his chest. He took in the empty spots on her board. Most noticeably the spot for Sally.

“Ray as Herr Ludwig is an interesting choice.” He said.

“David, I do not need a critique at this point in my _directorial_ process.” She scolded him.

He shook his head. “No, no. You’ve got a vision. I know you do.”

They stood in silence.

He knew she was troubled. Worried about finding her Sally.

“You’ll find her.” He told her.

“I will not rest until I have combed through the community and unearthed every stone.” She shrugged her shoulders and turned away from the board. She poured herself a cup of hot tea and sat at the table.

He sat beside her. “Have you given any thought to costuming?” He asked.

She rolled her eyes. “David. I have just begun to select _my cast_.”

“May I help?” He asked. He’d had it in mind to wait before he broached the subject, but also knew his mother enough to know a well-timed ask is paramount to getting what he wanted from her.

She shot him a look over her teacup. She sipped. Took her time. “Am I to take your inquiry as an offer to consult?”

“I… suppose… I do think I might be able to help, specifically, with the Emcee’s costume.” He nodded.

“I see.” She watched him. Suspicious.

David leaned forward. Rested his elbows on the table. His hands balled together. He rested his chin on them. “What look are you wanting for him?” David asked her, already knowing the answer.

“A recreation of Alan Cumming’s version, of course.” She told him with incredulity in her voice that he would even need to ask.

“Agreed.” David nodded. “If I work on it, and get us as close to that as possible, he may be comfortable with it. But I think he’ll be more open to things if… I…”

“If you work on it. In increments.” Her fingers tapped his knee. “Yes. Yes, I see.”

“I know what you want. I know what he will be comfortable with. Let me try?” David asked her.

“Yes.” His mother said. Then added, “And we’ll then schedule regular sessions to talk about the other costumes.”

“Wait. No. That’s not what I…”

“ _David_ ,” She said in that way she does. “You know there is _no one_ else in this town who can conceptualize …”

He cut her off. “Fine.” He rolled his eyes as he stood and left the room.

++++++

“You’re certain that’s the one you want?” He eyed the paper in his hands. Looked over each of the photos of tiles. Their descriptions. Their prices. He focused on the one circled in bold, black sharpie. Unsurprisingly, the most expensive tile on the page.

“Yes.” David leaned back on the couch. Happy he’d finally nailed down which tile he wanted and secure in knowing it was the best one.

“It’s pricey.” Patrick set the paper on the counter in the office kitchenette. Picked up the wine he had poured.

Patrick handed David the glass of wine. Sat down beside him on the couch. Took a sip of his beer.

It was the end of the work day. Deposit in the safe. Shelves stocked. Floors swept and mopped. Their one night of the week that neither had a commitment on the calendar.

“Are you saying we can’t afford it?” David asked him.

“No. No, no. We can afford it.” Patrick took another sip of his beer. Crossed his leg. Propped his right ankle on his left knee. 

“So, what’s the problem?” David asked.

“No problem, really. Just a reminder we don’t own the building. It’s not like it’s an investment in our own property.” Patrick told him.

“Are you planning on us moving the store to a different building any time soon?” David challenged him.

Patrick looked at him. Shook his head. Sipped his beer. Remained silent.

“What?” David asked him.

“Nothing. Nothing.” Patrick put his feet up on the coffee table. Crossed one ankle over the other. Another sip of his beer. Patrick had stopped arguing with David over the little things. It wasn’t worth it. He was worried about setting David off during his first weeks of therapy. So, he stayed quiet.

“Patrick. What?” David asked. He reached out and gave a nudge to Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick leaned over. Kissed David on the cheek. “If that’s the tile you want, that’s the tile we’ll order. I’ll shoot an email to Ronnie tonight.” Patrick sat back, again. Leaned his head on the back of the couch.

“Thank you.” David took a sip of his wine, set the glass on the coffee table and turned on the couch. “It’s nice to know we’ll have something nice. Not just choosing a practical tile that will get the job done.”

He lay back. He rested his head on Patrick’s lap. Draped his legs over the arm of the couch. Looked up at Patrick. Closed his eyes as he felt Patrick’s hand naturally come to rest on his head.

Patrick’s fingers gently played with David’s curls. Wound a small section of David’s hair around his finger. Releasing it as a curl. Watching the curls spring to life. One curl. Then another. And another. Slowly, methodically working his way through David’s hair.

“We’ll have a few days off. What are you going to do with your time?” Patrick asked him.

Patrick had tried to arrange for Ronnie to start the job on the upcoming Saturday afternoon and work through the weekend so they would – at most – only be closed on Monday.

In the conversation that took place on the sidewalk in front of the store, Ronnie had moved her head in the way she does when she’s annoyed at Patrick, rolled her eyes, and drawled, “Do you work on weekends?”

Patrick wasn’t sure how to respond to her. “Well… no, no we don’t. I mean, we do… on Saturday mornings. But we take off Saturday afternoon… Sundays…That’s… um… that’s kinda the point. I thought…”

“I’ll start the job on Monday morning. That is, if you tell me the tile you two choose early enough for me to get my order in.” She turned and walked away from him without looking back.

In the end, Ronnie had told them if they had their order ready before the following morning, she’d have time enough to order them and she’d start first thing Monday morning. It would take two days, and the two could be back into the store on Wednesday morning. Enough time for the store’s social activity night the following Thursday evening. Some sort of… writers’ retreat… that David had planned while Patrick had a ball game.

“I think I just want to read.” David said, bringing Patrick back to their conversation. “And, I have a little project I want to start.”

“What kind of project?” Patrick asked. His thumbs gently traced the line of David’s eyebrows. He loved those eyebrows.

“Something for the show. Helping Mom.” David’s eyes were still closed. He took a deep breath. He loved Patrick’s soft touch. Even if he was overly-attentive to David’s eyebrows and hair.  
  
The room was quiet. The soft music soothed them.

“Why don’t you go see your parents? Is there time for that?” David’s relaxed voice was almost a murmur.

Patrick’s hand stilled in David’s hair. David opened an eye and looked up at him. Patrick looked him in the eye. Shook his head. “I can’t. Softball practice. Games. Besides, it’s only a few weeks before I’ll be going up for my birthday. Seems silly to go up and back twice in a month.”

David nodded. Shut his eye. “Oh. Yes. Right.”

“You remembered I’m going up for my birthday, right?” Patrick asked him.

“I remember your birthday.” David said. Eyes still closed. Willing Patrick’s fingers to start moving again.

“You get your homework done?” Patrick realized he sounded like a parent asking the question. 

Patrick’s fingers softly touched David’s eyelids. The bridge of his nose. Feather-light touches.

“Not yet. Saving it for the weekend.” David said. His body calm and quiet under Patrick’s touch. Turned his head slightly to the side as Patrick drew his fingers along David’s jaw line.

Patrick’s fingers moved to David’s temples. One hand on each side of his head. He pressed his fingers firmly against David; rubbed circles there.

A soft _hummm_ escaped David as he relaxed deeper into Patrick’s touch.

With only the sound of the soft instrumental music playing over the Bluetooth speaker in the storefront, they sat together for a long while in the office. Exhausted after their busy week. Content at being able to sit, still in the quiet.

Patrick’s hands rubbed David’s ears, his jaw. His fingers ran through David’s hair. His fingertips brushed back and forth over the stubble on David’s upper lip.

David reached up to touch Patrick’s arm. His fingers drawing invisible circles on the warm skin of Patrick’s forearm.

At the familiar touch to his skin, Patrick felt a tug in his lower abdomen. His cock stirred.

“Hey.” Patrick said quietly. Almost a whisper.

“Mmm?” David was drifting to sleep.

“Hey.” Patrick said a little louder, his voice low. He ran a hand over the soft sweater that covered David’s chest. Slid his hand low until, at the bottom hem of the sweater he tucked his fingers under it. Ran his finger tip along the warm flesh of David’s skin.

One of David’s eyes opened. He looked up at Patrick. “Someone’s hungry.” David stated in a soft, teasing voice, reading Patrick’s signs.

“Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve had to change the sheet on this couch?” Patrick asked him.

“Long time.” David said quietly, shutting his eyes again. Enjoyed the feeling that washed over him at the initial stages of being turned on at Patrick’s advances.

Patrick stretched his arm over David’s chest again. Down his abdomen. Over the soft fabric of David’s pants. He smiled as he found David’s very interested cock there. Wrapped his hand around David’s firmness.

David’s breath caught in his chest. “Mr. Brewer,” he breathed out quietly.

David reached down. His hand lay over Patrick’s as Patrick slowly stroked him through the soft fabric. David’s fingertips brushing lightly over the back of Patrick’s hand.

He rolled his head toward Patrick’s body. Pressed his forehead against Patrick’s abdomen. His other hand moved to hold Patrick’s arm. His hips slowly rocked forward, pressing into Patrick’s touch.

++++++

David breathed heavily against his ear while his hips rocked. Patrick sat on the couch. David’s knees on either side of Patrick’s hips. David did all the work. Rather, David’s legs did all the work as he moved up and down on Patrick’s hard, thick cock.

Patrick’s head rolled back. His eyes closed as he listened to David’s breath coming out of him quick and heavy. Occasionally whispering words that pulled sounds of carnal pleasure from Patrick.

Their quiet touching and tender make-out session had rapidly turned into more. David had quickly stripped down. Tugged Patrick’s jeans down his legs. Unbuttoned Patrick’s shirt, but insisted Patrick keep it on.

He had quickly straddled Patrick’s lap and plunged his tongue deep into Patrick’s mouth. Held Patrick’s head in his hand and kissed him passionately. Pressed his body against him.

With David sitting on his lap, Patrick’s hands were free to roam over David’s skin. All of it, on display. Patrick’s hands rested on David’s hips, then moved up his side, around to his back, down to his ass. His hands didn’t settle in one place long. Squeezed David’s thighs, wrapped around his legs as they worked their way down to feel the muscles of David’s calves as he lifted up and lowered himself down on Patrick. Over and over again.

Patrick’s fingers pressed into David’s flesh as David moved over him. He kissed David’s neck. David’s cock pressed between them. All the while, David moved. Up and down, on Patrick’s thick cock.

David’s hands gripped the back of the couch on each side of Patrick’s head. He sat up straight. Stilled until he had Patrick’s attention. Looked Patrick in the eyes. Squeezed his muscles around Patrick’s cock.

Patrick smiled up at David. David raised an eyebrow; pulled his mouth to the side in a sly smile.

It took every ounce of control he had within himself for Patrick to not loop his arms around David, stand up, and swoop around to lay David onto his back on the couch. He wanted to take David. Be on top of David. Fuck him. Control him.

It had been weeks.

Sure, they’d had sex. A lot of it, actually. It had been great. It was great in that moment. But Patrick was a take-charge kind of guy and he liked taking charge when they were having sex. And he hadn’t led the way for weeks. He figured it was a vulnerable time for David. He didn’t want to set David off. So, he let David drive their sexual encounters.

And lately, even if David was bottoming, he was on top.

They were good. They always were. But…

David remained motionless. Saw on Patrick’s face that his thoughts were causing him to drift. He squeezed his muscles again. Tight around Patrick’s cock. He wanted Patrick’s attention.

“What?” Patrick asked him. Shook his head. Looked him in the eyes.

“Touch me.” The command was soft. Gentle. A whisper.

Patrick smiled at the invitation. He reached for the lube. Held his hand near David’s cock and dripped lube on his cock. On his own hand.

As Patrick’s hand wrapped around him, David began to move again. When he raised himself off Patrick’s cock, he thrust his cock into Patrick’s fist. When he lowered himself onto Patrick’s cock, his own pulled out of Patrick’s hand. Patrick wrapped his hand over the head of David’s cock. Squeezed it. Opened up for him to thrust back into his fist. A rhythm and position they’d perfected long ago.

“Yes. Like that.” David whispered. “Just like that.”

Patrick’s free hand moved to David’s back and pulled him closer. _That chest. I want that chest._ Patrick thought.

Patrick’s forehead pressed forward, against David’s chest. He breathed him in.

Neither spoke. Other than the music playing quietly in the other room. Other than the sounds the two made, the room was quiet. Heavy breathing. An occasional grunt. A moan. Slick skin moving against slick skin. Held breath being expelled. Another moan.

David began to move over him faster. Patrick’s hips jerked forward to help the movement. It felt good. He knew it felt good. But it wasn’t what he wanted. He’d been patient. He’d let David drive every encounter for weeks.

He needed more.

He pulled his head back. Away from David’s chest. Looked up at him. “Babe. I need…”

“Do what you need.” David, exhausted, whispered. “Do it.”

Patrick reached behind David with one hand and held the base of the condom while also lifting him up. He looped his other arm around David’s upper back. Pulled David’s hips close to his own. In one swoop, he raised himself up and turned them.

A squeal left David when he was raised up. A grunt, when his back landed firmly on the seat of the couch. It was only a split second before a look of excitement erased the look of shock that had been on his face.

Patrick thrust into him. Hard. The force caused David’s body to scoot away from Patrick.

David reached for Patrick’s shoulders. Grasped at them. “Yes. Fuck, yes.”

“You like that?” Patrick grunted as his body moved over David. Drove into him. “You like when I fuck you?”

“Yes. Yes.” David’s raised knee was pressed between the back of the couch and Patrick.

Patrick’s eyes reached David’s. Saw the pleading in them.

He slowed his movements. “You want to roll over.” He knew what David wanted. Hadn’t asked for in… maybe months.

When he took in David’s nod of affirmation, Patrick pulled back. Held the base of the condom. Pulled out of him. David quickly rolled. Presented his ass to Patrick. Perched himself on one knee. One foot on the ground. One hand leaned on the arm of the couch. The other rested on the back of the couch. Bracing himself.

Patrick added more lube to the condom and pushed back into David with force. He moved harshly. Slow harsh thrusts at first. The sounds David made indicated that he was on the right track.

He leaned forward. He kissed David between his shoulder blades. Then leaned closer as he unforgivingly pounded into him. His arm looped over and around David’s shoulder; his hand pressed flat against David’s chest. In a low voice he growled, “You want me to fuck you, Bitch? I’ll fuck you.”

David’s head rolled back. He looked over his shoulder. “Yes, Sir. God, yes.”

He used his arms to brace himself. He bent just enough to give Patrick full and complete access. He rocked back with force to work in tandem with Patrick’s harsh moves.

The sounds of flesh smacking against flesh. The sounds of two men, breathing heavily. Grunting. Moaning. As Patrick controlled the fuck that quickly sent David cascading through an orgasm more powerful than he’d had in some time.

Patrick felt David tense and tighten around him. Patrick’s body responded and he joined David. Held him tightly, pressed his forehead against David’s back as they came.

++++++

David sat at the desk chair. Tied his laced boots. Quietly watched Patrick out of the corner of his eye.

Patrick rolled up the sheet. Pulled a fresh one out of the cabinet near the couch. Draped it over the couch. Looked over his shoulder at David. Grinned at him.

David smiled when he spotted the blush covering Patrick’s sweet face. Teased him more by saying, “That sheet get dirty enough for you?”

Patrick smiled, “Want me to take it home to wash… or…?”

David tilted his head toward his bag that sat on the desk. “I’ll take it.” As was their custom, David would take the flat sheet, toss it quietly into the laundry bin at the motel. He’d also snag a fresh sheet from the linen closet and put it in his bag to bring back to the store. They’d been doing that for nearly a year and nobody seemed to be the wiser. Not his dad. Certainly not Stevie.

“Can I take you to dinner?” Patrick asked him.

“Across the street?”

“No.” Patrick shook his head. Buttoned his shirt. “Elmdale?”

“Like a real, meal? A simple menu? A place with romantic lighting?” David stood. Tugged down his sweater. Reached for his bag.

“Like that.” Patrick nodded. His eyes raked up and down David’s body as he tucked his shirt into his snug jeans.

He reached a hand out to David.

“Yes, please.” David took Patrick’s hand and followed him out of the store.

++++++

While Ronnie worked on the restroom at the store, the two of them stopped. Stopped going into the store. Stopped working. They knew it was going to hit them in the finances. Not just buying the tile, but not having an income for those two days.

Patrick had assured David, showed him in the books, that they could sustain it and it would be fine.

David had wanted to go into the store and, at least, do the online orders. Patrick told him that their agreement was that they’d leave Ronnie and her crew alone. _No interruptions._ “I don’t want to set her off, David. We need to steer clear of the store.”

So, they’d agreed. Between their weekend and the two days of Ronnie’s work, they’d enjoy a restful stay-cation.

Patrick rested. Lay on his bed and listened to the local radio station play random songs. He sang some of them. Let his mind wander. He went into Elmdale to the gym. He hiked. He went for a run. He read on his book. Caught up on the stack of magazines that had built up. Played his guitar, sang songs. Napped. And in the evenings, he went to play ball. He had games, a double-header, the first night. The other nights were just practice.

David stayed with Patrick. Enjoyed every moment of them being together. Alone. He slept late while Patrick went for a hike or a run. But other than that, they did everything together. He endured the double-header; insisted it should be renamed to something more accurate. They lay on the bed and listened to music. He cat-napped while Patrick played his guitar and sang quietly. He sat on the couch and read while Patrick lay on his bed to read.

They cooked meals and stayed in. Never really discussing going out.

David assumed they should save their money, since they were spending so much on the tile and weren’t making any profit with the store closed.

Patrick didn’t think about the money, he knew they’d had plenty in reserve to pay for the tile and cover their cost of not being opened. He just enjoyed not encountering another person for a few days. He reveled in their alone time.

They had sex. They gave each other leisurely massages that ended in sex. When they lounged together on the bed or on the couch to read, David rested his head on Patrick’s lap. Or Patrick draped his legs onto David’s lap. And each reading session usually ended with one of them getting handsy, and then they had sex.

One morning when Patrick came in from his run, David stood at the stove. Scrambling eggs. Patrick kicked off his running shoes and went to the refrigerator.

“Hey. Do you have lace-up boots?” David asked him, nonchalantly.

“Yeah. You’ve seen them.” Patrick said. He took a swig of orange juice out of the carton. “Wore them on my hike the other day.”

“Please use a cup,” David said. “And, I’m not talking about your _hiking shoes_. I’m taking about boots. Lace up boots.”

Patrick went to his closet and dug in for the brown, lace-up work boots. “I have these. I’ve worn these in front of you before.” He held them up for David to see.

“M’Kay. I mean black ones. Do you have black ones?” David pulled two plates out of the cabinet. Put the eggs he had just cooked onto the plates. Carried them to the table.

Patrick shook his head. Returned his boots to the closet. “No. Why?” He sat at the table. Started eating his eggs. “Thanks. These are good.” He said with a full mouth as he pointed at his eggs with his fork.

David went to his side of the bed. Retrieved his black lace-up boots. Set them on the floor beside Patrick and then sat down to eat his breakfast.

“What’s up?” Patrick asked. He sipped his hot tea.

“I want you to try those on. See how they look.” David told him.

Patrick kept eating. “Why? We don’t wear the same size.”

David nodded, “I know.” He took a long sip of his hot coffee. Shut his eyes. He loved the taste of freshly brewed coffee.

Patrick put his fork down. His hands moved to his lap. He waited. Watched David.

“I’m helping Mom figure out costumes. I’ve asked to be in charge of yours.” David said. He put a scoop of eggs into his mouth. Watched Patrick.

“I’m wearing black boots in the production.” Patrick nodded. “OK.” He shrugged. He scooted his chair away from the table and leaned over to begin putting David’s boots on his feet.

“I just want to make sure they look right.” David said.

“I get it.” Patrick tied the first boot. Wiggled his toes. “Your feet are huge.” He teased.

“Well… you know what they say about the size of a man’s feet.” David’s mouth pulled into a grin. He watched Patrick and was pleased at how easy it was to get him to put the boots on.

Patrick stomped his feet a few times. David pointed toward the middle of the room. Patrick went where he was told. Turned and looked at David.

David smiled.

Patrick wore his black running shorts, loose and baggy. A grey t-shirt with the sleeves cut out of it. And the black boots. He stood straight and tall, his arms straight at his sides. Chin up. Ready for inspection.

David nodded. “M’Kay. You can take them off.” He moved his attention back to his breakfast. Finished his toast.

Patrick sat at the end of the bed. Loosened the laces on the boots. Put them back beside David’s bag on the floor beside the dresser. Moved to sit at the table. Finished his eggs.

“So… I’m wearing your boots in the production?” Patrick asked him.

“No. I’m going to find some in your size. Second hand. That OK with you?” David stood and took his plate to the sink. No big deal. Just getting one thing for the costume. Something Patrick won’t stress about. Boots.

“I don’t mind paying for them. I’ll just keep them later. Let’s find some new ones.” Patrick told him. Finished his toast.

“No. We need them to be scuffed up. Worn. Used. If we buy new, we’d have to break them in and I’m not sure that there’s time for that. Plus… it will be cheaper.” David turned. Leaned against the sink. Crossed his arms over his chest.

“Makes sense. Want me to look for them?” Patrick asked.

“I’ve got it. No worries.” David shrugged. Made his way to the bed. Sat down and opened his book to read. Satisfied knowing the first thing he’d purchase for Patrick’s outfit. Working it out in his mind how he’d get Patrick in the costume he’d envisioned.

++++++

They’d finished their breakfast. Ordered a fresh coffee and tea to go. Paid Twyla.

“I can’t wait to see it.” Patrick told him. Ready to get back into their store, see the finished project and start the day.

“No matter how fabulous the tile is, it’s still just a bathroom. It’s not like there’s going to be a clawfoot tub in it.” David played it off as though he didn’t care. Even though, deep down, he was excited to see it. Since being in Schitt’s creek, David seldom had something new and shiny.

“Driving me crazy not being over there earlier, but when she texted on Monday, she told me we couldn’t come over at all before 9 am today,” Patrick said. He held the door open for David.

“Well, she should have been done last night.” David said.

“It will be done. Let’s just get over there and see it.” Patrick said.

“I just don’t get the big reveal… it’s a bathroom.” David said.

“It’s not just a bathroom, David. It’s a passion project.” Patrick shot back at him. Knowing that the main reason they even started this project was because David had insisted that he do something about the falling tile.

As they stepped into the street to cross it, David told him, “I’d kill to be that passionate about a bathroom you’ve now decided to open up to the entire town.” David was happy about the remodel. He was not thrilled that people other than he and Patrick would be using it.

“Yeah… we can’t afford to keep a private bathroom, David. We’re losing customers to the café. B’sides, you’re the one who started serving booze at those evening events.” Patrick eyed Ronnie’s truck. Tailgate down.

“Um…Those evening events are part of a summer series. We sold thirty dream catchers at the cosmic meditation clinic.” David shot back at him.

Patrick chuckled as he opened the store’s front door. As he stepped in, he saw it. Saw the state of the store. He stopped dead in his tracks.

David immediately knew something was wrong, before he ever saw it. Knew by the stiffness of Patrick’s body. He tucked in behind him, stepped into the store.

He knew to use sarcasm. It’s what he did to diffuse any situation, “You know what? You were right. It _does_ look beautiful.” David said as he looked across the store that was, in its entirety, draped in plastic tarp and green painters’ tape.

Patrick was at the end of his rope. Anger bubbled up inside of him, “What the fff..” 

++++++

Patrick went into the office. Sat at the desk and pulled a file out of the drawer. Reread the agreement with Ronnie he had signed the week prior.

_Timelines may change based on availability of product and will not be at the expense of the contractor._

“Fuck.” Patrick smacked the palm of his hand down on the desk.

“Easy there, Rough Rider.” David said as he entered the office. “It’s fine. Let’s go home and have another day off.”

“No. David. We’re going to get the online orders filled this morning if nothing else.” Patrick said with a stern voice.

“Lest you forget? She told us we can’t be here while she works.” David said.

Patrick opened up the computer and went to their site to look for the online orders. “She also said two days. So, we stayed away for two days. Today we are going to fill the online orders.”

David stood straight and nodded his head, “Yes, Cap’n.”

“David. I’m not in the mood.” Patrick shot at him as he left the office for the back-storage room.

++++++

“I have to pee.” Patrick told him.

David ran the packing-tape dispenser over the last of the boxes. “M’Kay. Let’s go across the street.”

Patrick nodded and they headed out of the store. David locked the door behind them and quickly followed Patrick as he angry-walked toward the café.

“Hey.” David called after him as he trotted behind Patrick.

As Patrick stepped up onto the curb, he turned. “What. David? What.” He was fuming.

“Stop.” David said gently as he reached Patrick. “Sweetie. Just stop.”  
  
David’s hands found that place on each of Patrick’s shoulders. He massaged him. He stood in front of his angry little boyfriend and looked into his eyes.

“It’s fine,” David told him. “It will be fine. Ronnie is out working on getting the tiles and she’ll get it done.”

“And, if she doesn’t get it done in time for your writer’s retreat tomorrow night?” Patrick asked him.

“Calligraphy workshop.” David corrected him.

Patrick sighed. Shut his eyes. “Calligraphy workshop. What if we can’t get into the store? Can’t use the tables?”

David shrugged. “Then we’ll do what we have always talked about doing. We’ll use the upstairs space. It’s basically just sitting there empty. We can use it.”

“But nobody will be able to use the restroom.” Patrick countered.

“Then we’ll tell people who need to use it to come over here to the café.” David raised a hand and pointed to the building beside them.

“David.” Patrick’s hands moved from his waist to dig deep into his pockets.

“Patrick. My love,” David said in a soft voice. “She’s working at getting it done. And if it doesn’t happen today, it is not the worst thing. Six months from now… hell… a month from now… we won’t even remember this inconvenience.”

Patrick paused. Pressed his lips together. Not letting go of his anger.

“Please.” David asked him. He took a deep breath to model for Patrick what he wanted him to do.

Patrick closed his eyes and the smallest hint of a smile pulled at his lips. He looked into David’s eyes and took a deep breath.

David leaned forward and kissed him. A soothing, supportive, sweet kiss. “Now, let’s use the restroom then we can walk back to your place and eat some lunch.”

When they stepped inside the café, they both stopped in their tracks when they saw her. Sitting in a booth. Having lunch with Roland. And laughing.

 _Fuck_ , David thought to himself. Braced himself for another round of Patrick’s frustration.

++++++

Once they were in Patrick’s apartment, David steered him to the table and told him to sit down. David moved quickly and made sandwiches. He handed Patrick a plate and a beer.

“David, we don’t drink beer at lunch.” Patrick held up a hand.

“Today, we drink beer at lunch. There’s no hurry to get back.” David insisted.

Biting into his sandwich, David watched Patrick take a swig of his beer. Set it beside his plate on the table.

“I’m not hungry.” Patrick said.

“Try,” David coaxed. Pushed Patrick’s plate closer to him.

Patrick ate another bite. Took another long swig of his beer. “I really don’t want more.”

“Fine,” David said quietly. He stood and held a hand out to Patrick.

Patrick took his hand and stood.

David wrapped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders. Pulled him in for a tight hug. Patrick wrapped his arms around David and made an unsuccessful attempt to relax into him.

David tucked his hand just inside of Patrick’s jeans and gripped the waistband and belt in his hand and tugged Patrick behind him as they walked toward the couch.

“David.” Patrick’s voice expressed his annoyance.

David stood in front of him and his hands busied themselves with unfastening Patrick’s belt buckle. Unzipping his jeans.

“David.” Patrick’s voice softened.

David turned Patrick so his back was to the couch. He tugged Patrick’s jeans down, they dropped down his legs to Patrick’s knees.

David firmly pushed against Patrick’s chest. “Sit.”

“David.” Patrick sat as he was told to do.

While he untied Patrick’s boots. Tugged his shoes and socks off him. Pulled his jeans down Patrick’s legs, David spoke. “Just sit back. Please. Let me.”

Patrick let David undress his lower half. Watched him. Tried to clear his brain.

David ran his hand over Patrick’s underwear-covered dick. Smiled as he felt it grow firmer under his touch. He tugged at the waistband, and Patrick lifted his hips to help with their removal.

“I’m sitting here like fucking Pooh.” Patrick said.

With his mouth pulled to the left in a suppressed smile, David told him, “Yes. You are. Now… hush. I need to have a talk with my old friend.”

David’s fingers wrapped around Patrick’s cock and firmly squeezed him.

“David,” Patrick’s voice softened further. He rolled his head back.

“Shhh, leave us alone for minute.” David leaned forward and licked him. A long, slow lick from base to tip. Dragged his tongue up Patrick’s shaft, causing Patrick’s cock to grow firmer. David opened his mouth and pulled his cock deep in as he sucked on him.

A sigh of relief and pleasure came from Patrick and one hand settled on the back of David’s head.

David pulled off is cock. With his hand wrapped around Patrick, he leaned close to the thick, farmer cock that he adored and began to speak.

“Here’s the thing. _He’s_ super stressed-out right now.” David nodded his head toward Patrick.

“Oh god.” Patrick huffed out a laugh.

David gave a chaste kiss to the head of Patrick’s cock. Then he spoke again, “But, honestly? I don’t think he knows _why_ he’s stressed out. This guy (David nodded his head toward Patrick again) doesn’t like it… I mean _he hates it_ … when someone doesn’t adore him.”

Patrick rolled his head to look down at David, “That’s not…”

David shot Patrick a scolding look. Interrupted him. “Hush, Mr. Brewer. I’m not finished.”  
  
He leaned over Patrick again. Pulled him into his mouth. Sucked him in. His tongue did that thing that Patrick liked. Then he pulled off him. Hand around Patrick’s cock again. He spoke quietly. “I love him. I love him more that he will ever know. So, I can say this… He has control issues. Today has been really hard on him.”

Patrick sighed. Resolving himself to listen to David.

“Not only does he have _zero control_ on moving the bathroom project forward; but when he tried to take charge, he was stopped in his tracks by someone who doesn’t see that he hung the moon and the stars. I know. You’re right. I’m his biggest fan. I know that he’s everything. Talented. Kind. Smart. Sexy as fuck. But … there’s someone in town who doesn’t treat him the way he’s used to being treated.” David kissed the head of Patrick’s cock.

Patrick took a deep breath. Exhaled slowly.

“And that person has _alllll_ the control today. So, it sits badly on _his_ shoulders.” David nodded his head toward Patrick.

He licked Patrick’s cock again. Base to tip. A sweet, gentle kiss on its head.

“But, tomorrow, when the bathroom is done, it will all be behind us. Then _he_ doesn’t have to deal with her for a good long while.” David told him. He pulled Patrick’s cock into his mouth again. Sucked on him again. Then pulled off.

“In the end, we’ll have a nice-looking restroom for our customers. We won’t have to deal with that tile that’s been falling down for the last 6 months,” David kissed the head of Patrick’s cock. Licked it. “It will all be fine.” Another kiss.

Patrick’s hand cupped David’s cheek. David looked up at him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered to David.

David looked up at him and smiled, “I love you, Mr. Brewer, _for all that you are_.”

Patrick leaned forward and, with both hands on David’s face, pulled him into a kiss.

“Now, please sit back and hush. I have a conversation to finish,” David pressed his hand on Patrick’s chest.

He opened his mouth and lowered himself over Patrick’s throbbing cock.

++++++

Having provided Patrick with the perfect fellatio, it didn’t take much effort for David to encourage Patrick to finish his lunch and polish off his beer. He tucked Patrick into bed for a much-needed afternoon nap. David he went to the store, which was sans Ronnie, and created a gift basket… a _really generous_ gift basket. He’d be damned if Patrick was going to continue to be treated this way by her. He was going to try to help him get on her good side.

++++++

They worked quietly cleaning the room. They heard Ronnie and her helper downstairs in the restroom. It was well after 6, and they had plans to not leave the store until Ronnie was done with her job.

While he worked, Patrick thought about their afternoon.

After his nap.

After he asked David, “You _did_ pay for all of this, _right_?”

After David responded, “Uh-huh. Yeah. Sure.”

As they walked over to see Ronnie to deliver the basket, David mentioned that maybe it was time that they really looked at the room upstairs. It wasn’t large, but it would do in a pinch for something like the calligraphy workshop. Or even one of their meditation retreats.

So as Ronnie worked, so did they. David swept and dusted. Patrick moved furniture, carried boxes of trash down stairs and outside to the dumpster.

David’s phone vibrated in his pocket.

He checked his phone

_Dad (6:37 pm):_

‘WE WON THE AWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

_You (6:37 pm):_

*Shoulder shrug emoji* ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

_Dad (6:37 pm):_

‘AT THE HOSPIE AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘WE WON!!!!!!’

“What’s going on?” Patrick asked.

David shook his head. “My Dad. Apparently, he won some sort of award.”

“Oh yeah. They had the Hospies today.” Patrick stopped his work and turned to David. Hands on his waist. “That’s great. Which category did they win?”

“Wait. How did you know about this?” David asked.

“It was on the town Facebook page. Didn’t you see it?” Patrick asked. He pulled out his phone to find the post.

David waved away Patrick’s attempt to show him the page on his phone, “I try to not look at that.”

“You really should. It’s quite active. Look.” Patrick held his phone up for David to see. “Ask him which category they won.”

David rolled his eyes at Patrick’s genuine excitement.

_You (6:39 pm):_

‘Patrick wants to know what category.’

_Dad (6:39 pm):_

‘BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE IN A MOTEL UNDER 20 UNITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

_You (6:39 pm):_

‘Dad. Stop yelling.’

_Dad (6:40 pm):_

‘I’M NOT YELLING.’

‘BUT I GUESS I AM EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

David sighed and told Patrick, “Category is best customer service in a little motel.”

“That’s great. Yeah. That’s really great. We need to get them something to congratulate them.” Patrick said.

“No more gift baskets for a while.” David shot at him then noticed his dad’s next text.

_Dad (6:40 pm):_

‘I THINK YOU NEED TO CHECK ON STEVIE.’

_You (6:41 pm):_

‘Why?’

_Dad (6:41 pm):_

‘SHE WAS VERY UPSET. I THINK EMIR BROKE UP WITH HER.’

‘SHE DIDN’T TALK THE WHOLE WAY HOME.’

_You (6:41 pm):_

‘Where is she?’

_Dad (6:42 pm):_

‘I DROPPED HER AT HER APARTMENT.’

_You (6:42 pm):_

‘Thanks Dad.’

‘And, congratulations. Patrick says congratulations, also.’

*Trophy emoji*

_Dad (6:42 pm):_

‘THANKS SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

David returned his phone to his pocket. “I gotta go.”

“What’s wrong?” Patrick asked.

David shook his head. “Stevie. The guy she had the dirty motel sex with? He broke up with her.”

Patrick made a noise of disappointment. “Damn. She liked him.”

“Yeah.” David said quietly.

The two of them moved to the stairs to head down to the store.

“Want me to go with?” Patrick offered.

“Maybe?” David nodded. “Is that weird?”

Patrick shrugged as he stepped off the last stair and ran into Ronnie as she exited the restroom.

“Woah. Sorry, Ronnie.” Patrick held his hands up and took a step back, running into David who was directly behind him.

“All done.” She said. She and her assistant began to gather the plastic drop cloths that had been draped over the product throughout the store. Rolled them up and stuffed them into a trash bag.

David poked his head into the restroom, “Ohhhh. Ronnie! Look at it! It’s beautiful!”

Patrick looked in. “Looks really good. Yeah. Really good. Thank you, so much.”

Ronnie did not respond to them. She pointed to the cabinet near the front of the store and told her assistant, “Get that over there.” She balled up the drop cloth she had in her hands. Stuffed it into the trash bag at her feet.

She dug in her pocket and pulled out the spare key Patrick had given her to get into the store. She set it beside the register. She turned, picked up her tool box and the bag and left the store without saying another word.

Patrick looked at David and shook his head. “What just…?”

“Reallllly not a fan.” David said quietly.

++++++

Stevie heard a knock at her door. She did not answer it.

 _Another person? How many people need to come see me tonight? Fuck ‘em._ She mumbled to herself.

Another knock.

She hung the last of her clothes back into the closet. Tucked her suitcase behind her winter coat.

Another knock. Then she heard David’s voice, “Stevie?” Another knock.

She opened the door and saw them both standing there. _Oh god._

Patrick stood just behind David and held a bottle of wine and a take-out bag from the café. David stood with a look on his face that caused Stevie to irrationally walk right into his arms.

They stood there, in the doorway of her apartment. David held on to her while she cried. He patted her back.

Patrick, more than a little uncomfortable, stepped back a few steps and leaned against the wall. Gave them a moment.

“Let’s get inside and shut the door,” David said quietly. He wasn’t used to her crying. And he definitely wasn’t used to her hugging him.

She let go of him and used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe the tears from her eyes. Then picked up the bottom of her shirt and wiped her nose with it.

 _Ew_. David gave her a look. Noticed that she had, at some point that day, put on a full face of makeup. Eyeliner and mascara circled her eyes in smudges and streaks. He felt bad for her. Not just for suffering a breakup, but for falling apart when he knew she _hated_ falling apart.

Before either of them knew what was happening, both had a glass of red wine in their hands. Patrick had been busy, once they entered the apartment.

He held on to David’s shoulders and steered him to the table where David sat. Stevie followed suit and sat across from him.

Patrick unpacked the nachos that they had picked up from the café before they headed to Stevie’s. He opened the to-go container and set it on the table between the two friends. Tore two paper towels off the roll he found on Stevie’s kitchen counter. Handed one to each of them. Then he searched through Stevie’s kitchen for the silverware. Put two forks on the table near the to-go container that held the large piece of chocolate cake.

Then, Patrick sat beside Stevie with his own glass of wine. Set the bottle with the remaining wine in front of Stevie.

While Patrick worked, David and Stevie talked.

“I thought it was going somewhere. It wasn’t.” Stevie said. She shoved a nacho into her mouth.

“That stinks. I know you liked him.” David nodded.

“I thought he liked me.” She said. Her mouth full.

“I’m sure he does. It sounds like he doesn’t want a relationship. You’re not going to change someone who doesn’t want a relationship, no matter how much they like you.” David told her.

They talked. She told them about the conversation they had at the awards ceremony. How it felt to sit there and have him tell her they weren’t on the same page.

When Stevie became emotional, Patrick couldn’t help himself. He gently rubbed her shoulder. Made sounds in an attempt to comfort her. David watched him from across the table. His heart swelled.

It was awkward. They weren’t that close: Patrick and Stevie. Sure. They talked, laughed. Teased David together. But they hadn’t ever dealt with negative things together. David watched as his boyfriend tried to comfort his best friend. Watched his best friend tolerate it.

Stevie emptied her glass of wine. She continued to talk with David. Patrick refilled Stevie’s glass. Refilled David’s.  
  
When the two of them had demolished the nachos, Patrick took the container to the trash. Stood in the kitchen. Leaned against the counter.

That’s when he finally noticed it. He’d moved past it several times. When they came in. When he unbagged the food. But it was only then, that he really looked.

He picked it up. Flipped through it.

He waited until there was a lull in their conversation.

“Hey, Stevie?” Patrick asked.

She looked up at him. Took a sip of her wine.

He held up the script. “You tryin’ out for Cabaret?”

She set her glass down. “No, but… I think I’m in it.”

For a split second, David’s eyes grew wide. Then he looked over his shoulder at Patrick. Then back at Stevie. “What part?” He didn’t need to ask. He just knew.

“I don’t know the name… your mom dropped that by earlier, said she wants me to play it.” Stevie told them.

“This says it’s Sally’s script.” Patrick said with a smile.

“Stevie.” A broad toothy smile crossed David’s face.

“You probably knew about it. Did you talk her into it?” Stevie asked him.

David held up his hands in front of himself. Palms out, facing his friend. “I knew nothing. But… it’s… Stevie this is….”

Patrick interrupted David as he sat down beside her, “It’s a pretty big deal.”

“She said it’s the lead role.” She locked eyes with David. Silently looking for support. Validation.

David and Patrick exchanged looks. Both happy with the decision.

Patrick put his hand on her shoulder, and with much excitement he said, “Hell, yeah, it’s the lead role! Stevie!”

++++++

They lay in bed. Patrick was the big spoon. David’s fingers drew invisible shapes on Patrick’s forearm. Patrick’s forehead was pressed into the middle of David’s back.

David lay looking into the dark room. His mind lingered on his friend. Her heartbreak.

“What are you thinking about?” Patrick’s voice was quiet. Muffled.

“How happy I am that fellatio soothes the beast that resides within you,” David said, teasing Patrick.

“Mmmhmmm.” Patrick grinned into the dark privacy of David’s back.

“Maybe we should get some flowers. That would be nice.” David said quietly.

“For Stevie?” Patrick asked him.

“No. The restroom at the store.” David rolled onto his back and turned his head to face Patrick. “Right? If you’re going to advertise to customers that they can use it, we might as well make it look as nice as possible.”

With that low voice of his, Patrick slowly said, “OK.”

David nudged Patrick. Encouraged him to roll over onto his back. As he did so, David curled up beside him. His head resting on Patrick’s shoulder. Hand settled on Patrick’s chest. His fingers began to move again. Invisible shapes.

“Maybe some flowers for her, too.” David said.

“That would be nice. I feel bad for her. Break-ups suck.” Patrick said.

David tilted his head to look at Patrick. “Don’t leave me.” David said in a moment of pure transparency.

Patrick rolled to face him. Cupped David’s face with his hand. “I’m never leaving you.”  
  
They kissed. The kind of kiss you give to your soul mate. The kind of kiss that says you’re the only one I will ever need. The kind of kiss that calmed the swelling of anxiety in David’s chest.

Patrick pulled him near. David curled into him. Pressed his forehead against Patrick’s chest. Patrick’s hand pet the back of David’s head. “Good night, my sweet prince.”

David took a deep breath. Breathed in the scent of the man he loved. “Good night, Mr. Brewer.” 

++


	22. It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David has reached a point in his therapeutic journey that has given him pause. Patrick helps him work through it, as best as Patrick can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place between Episode 5.08 and 5.09. 
> 
> ++  
> ****SPOILER WARNING****
> 
> If you do not want the contents of the chapter to be spoiled, and you are not worried - in any way - about being triggered, then DO NOT read the Trigger Warnings below. 
> 
> ****** TRIGGER WARNING******
> 
> This chapter contains one dream/nightmare. Though a thorough description is not given, there is enough information provided that this nightmare could be triggering for a survivor of sexual assault. If reading anything about a sexual assault could be triggering for you, please DO NOT READ THE NEXT WARNING in this Author's Note and please DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER. (For those who may need more information to determine if the chapter would be triggering for them, additional information is shared in the warning below). 
> 
> ******ADDITIONAL INFORMATION FOR TRIGGER WARNING******
> 
> In the nightmare described in this chapter, the victim is bound, blindfolded, and muffled/gagged while multiple people perform sexual acts on an non-consenting major character. This is a dream sequence and NOT presented as an actual situation that happened.
> 
> ****** END OF WARNINGS ******
> 
> ++++
> 
> Should you be a survivor of sexual violence and you want help, I encourage you to seek therapy. A therapist in your area might be found by looking at www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists. You can enter your country and then your zip code or town name. Seek a therapist who is versed in Trauma or Sex Abuse. 
> 
> A SPECIAL NOTE: The website has been updated since I wrote previous chapters describing how to navigate within the site. Instead of to the side, the specific choices/ personal preferences is now found toward the top of the page.
> 
> ++++
> 
> That's it.  
> No other notes.  
> Just a chapter before MVP. *Winking face emoji*
> 
> Be well, Friends. 
> 
> \- PD
> 
> +++

++++++

He had begun to worry. David was typically back at work by lunch time and it was long after.

_You (1:15 pm):_

‘You OK?’

_My totally sane boyfriend (1:15 pm):_

‘Fine’

_You (1:15 pm):_

‘Still in Elmdale? You’re usually back by now.’

_My totally sane boyfriend (1:15 pm):_

‘I’m at home. Resting. You OK if I don’t come in?’

_You (1:15 pm):_

‘You sick?’

_My totally sane boyfriend (1:16 pm):_

‘No.’

‘Are you OK if I stay home?’

_You (1:16 pm):_

‘Of course. What’s wrong?’

_My totally sane boyfriend (1:16 pm):_

‘Nothing.’

_You (1:16 pm):_

‘Something go wrong at therapy?’

_My totally sane boyfriend (1:16 pm):_

‘I’m really tired and want a nap.’

_You (1:17 pm):_

‘How was therapy?’

_My totally sane boyfriend (1:17 pm):_

‘Patrick. I just want to sleep. Can we talk later?’

_You (1:17 pm):_

‘Sure.’

‘Love you.’

_My totally sane boyfriend (1:17 pm):_

*Face blowing a kiss emoji*

Patrick re-read the texts. His heart pounded. Either something went really bad at therapy or…

Patrick checked the time. He had just opened up after being closed for lunch, but nobody was in the store. He flipped the sign around to indicate they were closed. He stepped outside and locked the door.

++++++

When he pulled into the motel parking lot, the only car he spotted was Stevie’s at the far end. He headed for David’s room. Tested the door, it was unlocked. His knuckles rapped quietly on the door as he opened it.

The room was dark. All lights were off. The curtains were closed tightly. He stepped inside, gave his eyes a moment to adjust. He spotted David in his bed. Covers up over his head.

Patrick shut the door and stood at the end of David’s bed. He looked around the room. No one else was there. The door between David’s and his parents’ rooms was closed.

David didn’t move. Patrick took a step. Then another.

He sat on the side of Alexis’s bed. Looked at the pillow covering David’s head.

Patrick leaned forward. His elbows on his knees. His fingers interlaced. He waited. Unsure of what to say or do.

He took a deep breath. Let it out slowly.

++++++

David knew he’d come. He knew as soon as he didn’t answer his questions in his text that Patrick would want more information. Knew that Patrick would worry about him.

He wasn’t surprised when he heard a car pull up just outside of his room a handful of minutes after the last text. When he heard the car pull up, he pulled one of the pillows out from under his head and used it to cover his head. He pulled the covers up tight around his neck. A move he’d done ever since he was a little boy. Play asleep so that people wouldn’t bother him. Adelina used to call it “Playing possum.”

He didn’t want to see Patrick in that moment. He just didn’t.

He was curled onto his side. Facing the wall.

He heard the knock. He said nothing.

Heard Patrick come into his room. He didn’t move.

He heard Patrick close the door and step closer. His body stilled.

He heard Alexis’s bed shift as Patrick sat.

He heard Patrick take a deep breath.

The room was silent.

“I’m trying to sleep.” David mumbled.

“Do you have a headache? Have you eaten?” Patrick asked quietly.

“No,” David answered.

Patrick hesitated before he spoke, “No, you don’t have a headache or…”

David cut him off, “Both. No to both.”

“Want me to go get you something to eat?” Patrick asked.

“Not hungry,” David answered. Head still covered with the pillow. Eyes shut. _If I don’t see him, he doesn’t see me. Stay covered._

“You didn’t get something in Elmdale before coming back?” He asked David.

 _Seems odd,_ Patrick thought _._ He knew David always liked to stop at one of his favorite spots when he had an appointment in Elmdale. The burgers from the Dairy Barn or something with lots of sides from the chicken place.

David was quiet. Didn’t answer Patrick.

Patrick moved. He sat on his knees beside David’s bed. Rested his hand on David’s side. “Did something happen this morning? Did therapy go OK?” Patrick asked him.

“I’m fine. I just really want to be alone right now. Get some rest.” David said quietly.

Patrick thought about their exchange. Knew David would never lie to him. But also knew that David wasn’t answering his questions.

“David,” Patrick whispered. His hand wiggled a bit. Squeezed through the blanket to grip David softly.

David was silent. He didn’t move.

“David.” Patrick said a bit more sternly. Gently shook David’s shoulder.

“What.” David pulled the pillow off his head. Rolled his head to look at the ceiling. “Patrick. What.” His voice dripping with the frustration he felt. He refused to look at Patrick.

“David, did you go to therapy today?” Patrick asked him directly. His hand still on David’s shoulder.

David’s eyes shifted to the side and locked with Patrick’s. He saw Patrick’s brow furrowed with concern.

David sighed. He reached up above his head to grab the pillow he’d moved there. He pulled it over his head, rolled away from Patrick and clutched the pillow to his chest. “No.”

“Why not?” Patrick asked him. He knew he was walking a line. Pushing too hard would set David off. But Terri had told him to be sure he helped keep David honest. Accountable to himself.

“Patrick. Can we… _not_?” David asked. His voice raising a near octave.

Patrick’s hand left David’s shoulder. He rested it on the side of the bed, not touching David. “Why didn’t you go to therapy?”

“Alexis needed the car. I had my name on the sign out sheet, but she took it anyway.” David said. He knew. He knew deep down it was just an excuse. He’d rather blame Alexis than himself. He was frustrated. Ashamed. He knew Patrick would be disappointed in him.

Patrick paused before saying anything. “I um… I was a phone call away.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.” David said. The pillow moved again. No longer clutching it, David put it over his head. Wrapped one arm up over his head to hold it tight to himself. Tightly covered his head. Blocked what little light was in the room. Tried to block out Patrick.

“Did you call her? Did you call your therapist to cancel?” Patrick asked him. His hand now on David’s hip.

David was quiet.

 _Damnit David. Damnit, damnit, damnit._ Patrick thought. He knew by David’s silence that he had skipped his appointment and didn’t let her know. He knew from his conversations with Terri that the therapist David chose was likely in high demand. She would not tolerate David “no-showing” her.

Patrick chose his words carefully. “Let’s talk about it.”

David was quiet.

 _What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?_ Patrick’s mind raced.

He heard Terri’s voice in his head. _Hold him accountable_.

He shifted. Moved closer to David. Wrapped his arm around David’s side. Felt for David’s arm that was tucked under the blanket. Squeezed his arm.

“We can discuss it now… or you can get some sleep now and we can talk later. Which do you want to do?” Patrick rested his chin on David’s shoulder.

David shrugged his shoulder to move Patrick off of him. “I told you I want to sleep right now.”

“OK.” Patrick pulled back and stood by David. “But that means we are going to talk all the way through this tonight.”

David pushed the pillow off his head and rolled to his back and looked up at Patrick. “I don’t _want_ to discuss it, Patrick.”

“David. We’re going to talk about it now… or tonight.” Patrick’s hands on his hips and his stern voice told David that he meant business.

“You’re not my boss,” David told him.

Patrick huffed out a laugh. “No. I’m not. I’m your _partner_. And, I want to know what kept you from going.”

David sighed. He pushed back his covers and sat up. Leaned back against his headboard. Legs stretched out in front of himself. Hugged a pillow to his chest. Rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

Patrick sat on the side of David’s bed. Turned to face David. Waited.

David was silent.  
  
Patrick’s hand moved to rest on David’s knee.

David rolled his eyes, and spoke quietly, “She really did take the car.”

 _Don’t let him make excuses_. Terri’s voice was in Patrick’s ears.

Patrick chose his words carefully, “But that’s not why you didn’t go.”

David hesitated a moment before he nodded, “True.”

Patrick waited.

David’s heart raced. He moved his legs. Patrick read David’s body language and moved his hand away from him.  
  
David curled his legs under himself. He buried his face in the pillow that he held to his chest. Patrick watched him. Watched him turtle.

David blinked back tears of embarrassment. He spoke into the pillow. Mumbled his words.

Patrick leaned forward. His hand moved to David’s knee. “I didn’t understand you.”

David raised his head, looked Patrick in the eyes. “I didn’t do my homework. I’m not doing that homework. I’m done. I’m not going back, Patrick. I’m not and you’re not going to make me.”

Terri had told him it was coming. They’d just talked the week prior. Patrick had boldly, pridefully told her that David hadn’t missed one appointment. Didn’t complain once about the homework. He even showed Patrick his homework each week.

Terri had told him if David hadn’t stopped therapy – or attempted to stop – by now, to expect it to happen. Told him to give David the space to explore his feelings, but challenge his desire to quit. Because the desire to quit was usually prompted by the fear one feels as they approach the insurmountable and emotional task of walking through their first breakthrough.

Patrick took a deep breath. Worked to remain calm. Rational. Though everything inside him wanted to overreact and argue with David. He pushed down the urge to throw David over his shoulder, shove him into the car, and drive him to the therapist himself.

“What’s the homework?” Patrick asked. His voice quiet. Slow.

David’s heart raced. His breath caught in his chest. He struggled to breathe. He focused on the feel of Patrick’s warm hand, rubbing his arm.

David’s eyes locked on Patrick and grew red with unshed tears. He shook his head. Then buried his head in his pillow as the tears started to fall. He was silent.

Patrick moved then. Moved to sit in the middle of the bed. Criss-cross-applesauce. Elbows on his knees. His knees touching David’s, who sat in the same position facing Patrick, only with a pillow hugged to himself.

Patrick’s hands on each of David’s arms rubbed him slowly. Firmly. “What was the homework, David?”

David wept. A soft, quiet cry that anyone else would not know was happening. But Patrick knew him. After nearly a year together, he knew his body language. He knew his moods. Knew his feelings. Patrick knew David was embarrassed.

“It’s OK you missed one, David. You know that, right? If you needed a break, you’re allowed a break.” Patrick’s hands worked to comfort David. Rubbed his arms. Massaged his shoulders.

David shook his head. Tried desperately to stop the tears. He was unsuccessful. He couldn’t speak louder than a whisper. “You’re disappointed in me.”

“No. No, no.” Patrick comforted him. A hand on David’s thigh. Rubbing him there. “I could never be disappointed in you. I’m worried about you. I’m concerned. But not disappointed… never disappointed.”

Patrick waited. Quiet. Rubbing David. His arm. His leg. Firm pressure, the way David liked.

David took a ragged breath and raised his head. Looked at Patrick.

His heart broke looking into David’s eyes. Patrick smiled at him. His right hand moved to David’s face. His thumb swiped at a large tear that had escaped David’s eye and began to travel down his cheek.

David tilted his head so that he pressed into the pressure of the palm of Patrick’s hand.

Patrick leaned forward. David met him half way for a brief kiss intended to show comfort. Support.

David moved. He rotated and shifted so that he curled toward Patrick. Patrick unfolded one of his legs, opened his arms, and moved to accommodate David.  
  
David half leaned on, Patrick. His head on Patrick’s shoulder. His hands rested on one of Patrick’s thighs. Patrick looped both arms around David. Cradling him. Squeezed him tightly. He kissed David’s temple. Pressed his forehead against David’s temple. Said quietly, “Just tell me.”

“I’m supposed to…” David stopped talking. He shut his eyes. “I’m supposed to take an inventory.”

Patrick tried to understand. “I don’t… I’m sorry, David. I don’t know what that means.”

David sat up. Moved again. Shifted so that he was facing Patrick and straddling him. He looped his right leg over Patrick’s left. His left leg over Patrick’s right. His ankles met and hooked around each other behind Patrick’s back.

Patrick wrapped his arms around David’s waist to help hold him close.

Their faces were close.

David kissed him softly on the lips. Patrick reciprocated the kiss. David shifted. Kissed Patrick on the cheek. The jaw. Near his ear.

“Make love to me.” He murmured into Patrick’s ear.

“We’re having this conversation, David.” Patrick said, knowing full well David was trying to distract him. “Come on. Talk to me.” Patrick coaxed him.

David’s hands rested on Patrick’s shoulders. Baby blue button up. It was the one that if you looked from a distance, you wouldn’t notice; but upon close inspection you’d see very tiny squares – a checkered pattern of light blue and even lighter blue. David liked the feel of it under his hands. A good quality cotton blend. He was with him when he purchased it. He had picked it out for Patrick.

“David.” Patrick worked to get David’s attention.

David nodded.

“I’m supposed to think about that night… the next day.” David looked Patrick in the eyes. “And I’m supposed to think of the things in my life that I do… that I’ve done… differently as a result of that experience…” David’s eyes shifted to the window, “the… assault. As a result of my assault.”

Patrick nodded. Kept his eyes on David’s in case David’s came back to him. They’d not talked about it. Patrick didn’t really know what had happened that night. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to know. His arms tightened around David.

David leaned forward and rested his forehead in the curve of Patrick’s neck. Patrick’s hands busied themselves rubbing David’s back. Up and down. Circles. Up and down.

Patrick thought carefully before he chose his next words. “You don’t want to make the list?”

“I’ve made the list, a million times, in my head.” David spoke into Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick nodded. His hands working to soothe David. His fingers stroking the back of David’s head. “So… why is there a problem…”

“I don’t want to tell anyone what’s on the list.” David said.

Patrick waited. Quiet.  
  
 _Just tell her. Damnit David. Just fucking tell her so she can fix things and you can move on._ He wanted to blurt out. But he didn’t. He was silent.

“Do you distrust her?” Patrick finally asked.

David shook his head. “I think I trust her.”

“Why don’t you want to tell her.” Patrick’s hands continued to move. Soothe him.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” David wrapped his arms around Patrick’s waist. His head still pressed into that space between Patrick’s shoulder and his neck.

“Babe. Listen.” Patrick worked to find the right thing to say. Worried he was going to mess it up. His hand cupped the back of David’s head. Pet him tenderly. “I need you to use more words so I can understand where you are.”

“I’ve gotten along just fine for… what… 14-15 years? I’m fine. Why am I digging up the past? All I wanted was for her to make me feel OK about fucking without a condom.” David leaned back. Sat up. Looked into Patrick’s eyes. “I don’t have to dredge it all up and talk about it. I just want to fuck without a condom.”

Patrick wasn’t in control enough to stop his face from showing every thought he had in that moment.

“What’s happening to your face?” David shook his head.

“You’re not going to therapy so we can fuck without a condom.” Patrick’s voice was laden with incredulity.

“Yeah,” David said with great exaggeration. “Yeah, I am.”

“You’re going to therapy because you were starting to have panic attacks,” Patrick told him.

David nodded. “I know. But if I can go without a condom without freaking out, that should take care of that.”

“But…” Patrick began to argue, then stopped himself. There was no reason to argue. He took a deep breath. Exhaled slowly. “What can we do to get you comfortable with writing your list?”

David exhaled loudly with an exaggerated groan and leaned forward again. Rested his head on Patrick’s shoulder. “Don’t make me.”

“I’m not _making_ you do anything.” Patrick protested.

David sat up again. Rolled his eyes.

“I’m encouraging you to move forward with your therapy, David. Nobody said it was going to be easy. Terri said it would be the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life.” Patrick reminded him.

“Doubtful.” David mumbled. “I’ve been through harder.” He raised his hand, and with his palm open wide made a giant circle and indicated the room in which they sat.

“OK.” Patrick said. He pulled back. Shifted. Moved David’s legs off of his own. Moved to sit on the side of the bed. The time for coddling David had passed. “If it’s not the hardest thing you’ve ever done, then it should be no problem for you to do the homework.” Patrick stood. Shoved his hands deep into his pants pockets.

“So… you’re mad?” David asked him.

“Not at all.” Patrick said. He shifted his weight onto his right leg. “I need to get back to the store… and you have some things you need to do.”

“I need to do the homework,” David said as though he were a fifth grader in trouble for not getting his work done.

“Yup,” Patrick nodded.

“And, I need to call my therapist,” David continued.

“Yes.” Patrick said.

“And then I need to get into the store because you have a read-through of the script that starts this afternoon,” David finished.

Patrick nodded. “Think you can do that?” He pulled half his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down.

David crawled across the bed. Stood beside it. Faced Patrick. Nodded. “I can. I don’t want to, but I can.”

“Atta boy.” The side of Patrick’s fist nudged David’s arm.

“This sucks, you know.” David told him.

“I know.” Patrick pulled him near. Tucked into him. Kissed him on the neck. His hand rubbed up and down David’s back. “I know.”

“Patrick, I know I’ve shown you the other homework assignments I’ve done.” David’s hands gripped Patrick’s shoulders. Pushed him back so they could see eye to eye.

“You don’t have to show me anything.” Patrick shook his head.

“Thank you for that. I’m reserving my right to decide later,” David told him.

“Whatever you say.” Patrick pulled him in for another hug. He kissed David’s neck. His jaw.

“Thank you for coming to see me.” David turned his head. His mouth found Patrick’s. A soft kiss. Of connection. Of affection. 

“Do you want to stay here for a while, or ride with me to the store?” Patrick asked him.

“If you can give a few minutes to get ready, I’ll go with you. I’m starving. I can grab lunch and then if you’re OK I can call her from the office and maybe do my work there while you cover the store.” David told him.

Patrick pulled out of their embrace and swatted David in the ass, “Get a move on.”

As David walked toward the bathroom, the door to their room swung opened wide. With bright light flooding in behind her, Alexis stepped in.

“Umm… excuse me? What are you two doing here in the middle of the afternoon? Shouldn’t you be at the store?” She flipped on the overhead light, “Why is it so dark in here?” Her hand trailed across Patrick’s chest as she breezed by him.

“We were just having loud, uproarious sex,” David told her.

Before he shut the bathroom door, he turned and shot out, “Patrick, be sure to grab the condom and throw it away.”

Alexis looked from David to Patrick, “Ew, Patrick!”

++++++

The week went fast.

The first table read for Cabaret went well. Patrick had been excited about getting to start. Stevie sat beside him when she came in. It made him feel good that she was comfortable doing so. They sat in a circle in the Town Hall, Patrick eyed each of his cast mates. He listened to Mrs. Rose tell the story again. The one where she was a hostess at a gas station/deli when Rocky Nichols came in and ordered a Reuben. He smiled as Ray clapped gleefully at the conclusion of the story.

David attended the first gathering of what his mother called the Costume Design Team. Those in attendance were David, his mother, Jocelyn, Gwen, and Beth – the girl who worked at the bakery in Elmdale. The meeting was at the Schitt house, because it was scheduled to start after Rolland, Jr went to bed. Jocelyn fed them warmed up tater-tot casserole, and David enjoyed every bite. He learned that Gwen was there because she could sew. She brought photos of her work and he tried hard to not think about her in the rubber dress he heard she wore on the day the power line went down.

Patrick had one game and one practice that week. He put in some extra time after both with a few of the players who wanted extra batting practice. He enjoyed getting to know more people and, even though he’d rather be home with David, he knew that the season wouldn’t last that much longer. And he _really_ loved playing ball. It helped him work out his stress.

David Facetimed with Terri and Amy one evening while Patrick was at rehearsal. They scheduled the time to meet to discuss Patrick’s upcoming birthday. Amy reported that her pregnancy was going well and she felt good. Both women were excited about coming to the party and Terri told David she was eager to meet Patrick’s parents. They would stay in the room that Stevie had reserved for them at the motel the night of the party, but would not be staying the full weekend. They would need to get home to tend to the goats.

Patrick had done a little more work in the room above the store. On a couple of slower days, while David helped customers, Patrick went upstairs and painted the walls and arranged furniture. They had deemed the space a good place for calligraphy workshops, the knitting guild, and the crystal-energy healing circle. Patrick had recommended they consider having some groups during the day while the store was open, which would eliminate some of the later nights they’d have to put in. David agreed it was a good idea, but reminded Patrick to stay in his lane of being the numbers guy and told him that he would have _eventually_ gotten to the idea in his bullet journal.

David completed his therapy homework. It took several days, a few meltdowns, and plenty of trips across the street for cookies, muffins, and slices of pie for him to focus enough to write an honest inventory. He told Patrick he would not be sharing the list with him; Patrick understood and respected David’s boundary, but asked David to show it to him from across the room so to prove that the paper was at least filled out. David had called his therapist and apologized for not showing up for his appointment. He was honest with her; told her he was nervous and made an irrational decision to just not show up. She told him she was impressed with his honesty and worked him into the schedule for a make-up session.

His therapy appointment was scheduled at the end of the day on Thursday. He took Patrick’s car to Elmdale. The session left him drained and emotionally raw. He called Patrick after, but of course Patrick didn’t pick up. David knew that Patrick was busy playing the baseball.

David left a message. “Session is over. I’m going to stop and get myself an ice cream cone, then I’m going home to bed. If you want the car, I can drop it at your house. Otherwise, I’ll bring it to work tomorrow. I’ll text you when I’m home, but I don’t want to talk tonight. I’m fine. I just… I can’t talk anymore today.”

Hours later, when he was home after the game, Patrick listened to the message. David had sounded more exhausted than Patrick had ever heard him. He checked his texts and had no text from David.

_You (10:11 pm):_

‘David. You didn’t text when you got home. Please let me know you made it back OK.’

Patrick grabbed a handful of grapes from the refrigerator. He leaned against the counter to eat them.

_You (10:13 pm):_

‘David. I’m sorry if I’m waking you up. I don’t need to talk. Just let me know you’re home safe.’

Patrick began to pace.

_You (10:15 pm):_

‘Alexis are you at home?’

‘Is David there?’

_Alexis Rose (10:15 pm):_

‘He’s been here all night. He’s sleeping.’ *Sleeping face emoji* *Person in bed emoji*

_You (10:15 pm):_

‘Thank you. Did you talk to him? Is he OK?’

_Alexis Rose (10:15 pm):_

‘He came in around 6. Took a shower. Didn’t say a word. Not even when I asked him to watch my dance routine for the show.’

‘Why are you worried about him?’ *Thinking face emoji*

_You (10:16 pm):_

‘Rough week.’

_Alexis Rose (10:16 pm):_

‘He seems fine.’ *Shoulder shrug emoji*

_You (10:16 pm):_

‘Thanks. Night.’

_Alexis Rose (10:16 pm):_

‘Good night, Button.’ *Face blowing a kiss emoji*

‘See you tomorrow at rehearsal.’ *Two dancers emoji* *Musical note emoji*

++++++

Patrick took a hot shower. Walked through his dark apartment and went straight to bed. Exhausted, emotionally and physically. The previous weeks had been packed. Rehearsal. Ball games. Practice. Work. They’d scheduled everything well. Prepared for it – at least they thought they had.

He hadn’t prepared enough for his worry for David. It had kept him up most nights. Occupied his thoughts in the day. The only time his mind was free of the worry was when he was in the middle of a softball game. Or coaching the team at practice. Or at rehearsal for the production. He was thankful for the added activities as they not only freed his mind for a while, but they exhausted his body.

For the first time in a long time, as soon as his head hit the pillow he fell to sleep.

++++++

He was tied up. Legs and arms spread. Everything was black. He must have been blindfolded.

He called out for help but couldn’t get out more than a muffled sound. Something was lodged in his mouth. A ball-gag.

Someone was fucking him. He didn’t know who. They were heavy. Their breath was foul.

He tried to move his body to buck them off, but they persisted. He felt relief when they pulled out of him, but the feeling didn’t last long before another person was on top of him. Another cock being thrust into him.

He called out for help. None came. The scene repeated. The person who had been on top of him moved and was replaced by another. He made as loud of a sound as he could, calling out for help around the ball-gag. His head thrashing back and forth, trying to dislodge it.

“David. David! DAVID!” He felt his shoulders shaking. Felt a hand tapping his cheek.

He dug deep within himself to force the sound out of his mouth. “Help me.” He tried to call. “Help me, please.” But he knew all that came out of him were cries and moans. Try as he might to form the words, they wouldn’t come.

“David. Wake up!” He heard her voice. He struggled to see.

He was under a deep and heavy invisible blanket of sleep and he struggled to wake up. His sister sat on his bed. She shook his shoulders.

She pushed his sleep mask off his eyes; up over his forehead. She pushed it off his head. She patted his face with her hand. “David. Seriously. Wake up!”

He gasped for breath. His heavily-lidded eyes barely gave in to his efforts to open. He groggily looked at her. “Help me, Alexis. Help me wake up.”

She dipped her hands in the glass of water he had sitting by his bed. She flicked water on his face. Once. Twice. “Talk to me. Wake up, David. You were having a terrible nightmare.” She took her damp hand and patted his forehead. His cheeks.

He looked up at her. Tried to lift his head, but it felt too heavy to raise off his pillow. He reached a hand to her. She held it. “Bad. Bad dream.” David managed to say.

When he returned from therapy, he had asked his mother for a pill to help him sleep. She took one look at him and shared one of her very precious pills which she had learned to ration and hide, and typically kept only for her own usage. But his mother had known he was in therapy. She wasn’t supposed to know, but Alexis had told her. And she had taken pity on him.

David, once accustomed to the effects of certain sleep aids, had not taken one in years. And, having showered just after ingesting it, he fell to sleep like a log and was ill equipped for what would follow. A thick, heavy blanket of grogginess that would not allow him to wake if he needed to.

His therapist had told him to expect nightmares. Some of them would be a resurfacing of the traumatic event. Some would be a recollection of real situations associated with the event. Some would be amalgamations of his worst fears. And some would be bizarre and would absolutely make no sense. And, she warned, he wouldn’t always understand or know which they would be. She recommended he write them down, as one might forget the fine details of a nightmare. Then, they would discuss them at therapy.

He hadn’t expected to struggle waking up with the sleeping pill. Back when he took them on the regular, he had no trouble with them. So, he hadn’t expected being so deep into sleep when the nightmares started.

He lay there, his heart racing. Alexis held his hand. Splashed more cold water on his face.

“OK. OK OK.” He told her. “I’m fine. I’m awake. Thank you.”

“I don’t know what the hell that was about, David? But _that_ was the worst one I’ve ever heard from you.” Alexis told him. She moved to her own bed.

He sat on the side of his bed. His head thick with the after-effects of heavy sleep. He went to the bathroom. Relieved himself. Splashed cool water on his face.

He returned and sat on the side of his bed again. The imagery of his nightmare racing through his mind. Was it real? Did that happen on that night so long ago? Or was it something he did willingly and couldn’t remember? Or, was it just some fear that was buried deep in his mind? He had no clue.

He reached for his journal and began to write it out. Alexis had returned to bed. She was soon asleep.

His hand ached from the writing. He wrote as fast as he could, page after page of details.

When he was finished, he checked his phone for the time and noticed that Patrick had texted him earlier in the night. Guilt washed over him.

He jotted a note on a page of his journal and tore it out. Left it on his pillow.

“Alexis – Went to Patrick’s. Thanks for helping me wake up.”

++++++

He was deep in sleep. At some point, hot, he had kicked off his covers.

Nude. Sprawled, belly down, on the bed. He lay on “his side” of the bed, but had David’s pillow tucked half under him. He had started, as he always did, spooning David’s pillow. But throughout the night, flipped and flopped in his bed.

He didn’t hear his apartment door open.

Didn’t hear it close.

Didn’t hear the deadbolt latch shut.  
  
Didn’t hear David kick his shoes off.

He didn’t hear David slowly cross the floor to stand beside the bed.

When he felt the hand of someone touch his bare back, he jumped.

“What the hell?” He leapt. Lunged toward the person touching him and began to push and swing at them.

“Patrick! Patrick! It’s me!” David called as he ran away from Patrick and covered his head with his arms, ducking for cover.

Patrick stopped in his tracks. Rubbed his right eye with the heal of his right hand. “David? What time is it?”

“It’s… sorry… it’s late. 1:30 or so.” David told him.

Patrick moved toward him. “Did I hit you? I’m sorry. You scared me.”

“No. No, I’m fine. You missed.” David moved closer to him. Stood in front of him. Eyed him and appreciated his nakedness.

“Babe? You OK? What’s wrong?” Patrick’s hand rested against David’s chest.

David shook his head. “Really bad dreams, Patrick. I need…”

“I got you.” Without hesitation, Patrick moved into David’s arms. Wrapped his arms around David’s shoulders and pulled him near. Kissed his neck. One of Patrick’s hands moved to the back of David’s neck. Pulled him close. “I got you.”

David’s arms moved around Patrick’s waist. His hands rested on Patrick’s bare lower-back. “Tighter, Patrick.” David asked him.

Patrick stood on his toes. Wrapped his arms around David tighter. Felt David’s arms tightened around his waist. He kissed his neck. Kissed him near his ear. Kissed his cheek.

David turned his head toward Patrick and Patrick’s lips brushed over his. Gentle. Comforting. Chaste. At first.

David’s tongue darted out of his mouth. Swiped along Patrick’s lower lip. Patrick opened his mouth. David licked along Patrick’s upper lip and then moved in further and was met by Patrick’s tongue. Ready for him. Wanting him.

Patrick’s arms around David’s neck pulled him down. The kiss grew more intense. David’s hands moved lower to cup Patrick’s ass. His fingertips pressed into the warm flesh of Patrick round firm cheeks. Pressed Patrick’s groin against his body. Patrick’s cock throbbed as it grew hard between them.

“Make love to me. I need to feel you.” David whispered. His hands moved to his own sweatshirt. Pulled it off. Dropped it on the floor.

Patrick’s hands pushed the sweat pants David wore down over his hips. Pushed his underwear down with them.

David kicked them off his feet. He moved to the bed. Sat on the side. He scooted back, laying crosswise on the bed. He wiggled his feet, indicating to Patrick to pull off his socks. Patrick smiled as he did so.

Patrick crawled onto the bed, moved over him. Kissed his flesh. His abdomen. His chest. His shoulders. His neck. Their lips locked, and he kissed him deeply while his body pressed over David.

“You’re safe. I’ve got you.” Patrick told him. He continued to kiss David. Softly. On his mouth. His forehead. His cheeks. His neck. His chest.

David pulled up his knees. Linked his ankles behind Patrick’s body. Pulled him closer. David’s hands gently brushed down Patrick’s sides. Up his back. Down his sides. Up his back. Gentle, rhythmic touching.

Patrick nuzzled his neck. Kissed him. Quietly asked him, “Tell me what you want, Babe. What do you need?”

“You,” David’s legs tightened around him. “I need you. Make love to me, Patrick. Erase my bad dream.”

“You sure?” He asked.

David nodded, “Please.”

“OK.” Patrick whispered to him.

He moved off David. Crawled and reached for his drawer. Retrieved lube. A condom.

David’s hand reached for his. “Just the lube.”

Patrick looked at him. Brow furrowed. “No, David.” He shook his head. Sat down on the mattress beside David.

David’s voice was soft and high. A plea. “Please? Patrick please let’s just get it over with. No condom.”

Patrick’s hand came to rest on David’s face. Cupped the side of his face. His thumb brushed David’s cheek.

He leaned over David. His lips softly met David’s. He spoke to him there, his lips grazing David’s. “No, David. Not like this. Not to prove a point. Not to erase a memory.”

“Patrick, I trust you.”

“I know you do, Babe. And I trust you. But we can’t make this decision in the bedroom. We can’t make this decision after you’ve been through all you have today.” Patrick held firm. He knew they’d regret it, David would regret it, if they made the decision in the dark of night at a time when David was so vulnerable.

David nodded. He began to cry. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. He was angry that he had cried more in the past week than he had in the past year.

“Ohhh. Shhh.” Patrick pulled David to him. Rotated him so that he could lay David on his side of the bed. Cover him with blankets.

David rolled to his side, facing Patrick.

Patrick joined David under the blankets and pulled him close. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” he told David.

“No, no. You’re right.” David said through his tears. “I’m sorry I’m crying.”

“There’s no reason to be sorry.” Patrick pet him. His hand starting at the back of David’s neck and trailing down his back. Then back up to his neck and down his back again.

“You don’t need this. You have enough to deal with.” David wiped at his tears. Tried to calm himself. “I just… fuck.”

“You just what?” Patrick, on his side facing David, rested his head in his hand. His elbow propping him up.

“I just want it all to be fixed.” David said. “If I’d never started it, I would have been fine. I was doing fine pushing it all back into the corners of my brain.”

David moved closer to him. Pressed his body against him. Wrapped his arm around Patrick’s waist and pressed his forehead against Patrick’s firm, warm chest.

“Remember what Terri told us. We wouldn’t ignore a broken arm. We’d have to take it to a doctor and have it set so it healed right.” Patrick told us.

“I remember. It’s just so hard, Patrick.” David told him. His voice thick with emotion.

Patrick’s hands smoothed over David’s skin. Petting his back. He made sounds to comfort David. Soothe him. “I know. Shhhh. I know.”

David pulled back. His hands pressed against Patrick’s chest. Pushed him back. His voice harsh. Accusing. “But you _don’t_ know. Do you, Patrick. You _don’t know_. _I’m_ the one going through it. Not you.”

Patrick worked to fight back the urge to argue with David. He’d done well for weeks holding his words in. And in that moment – in the middle of the night – exhausted – he lost the battle.

“Listen…” Patrick sat up; legs crossed under himself. He looked down at David and worked to stay calm, “I understand from what you’re telling me how very hard it is for you. But you’re not going through this alone, David. It’s hard on you, yes. But David, it’s _not easy_ for me watching you go through this. It’s _not easy_ for me being left out of the loop and not know everything. It’s hard to figure out how best to help you. This is _not_ _nothing_ to me.”

David sat up. Similar pose. His brow furrowed. Tears gone. He shook his head and his eyes locked with Patrick, “Patrick, … I had no idea. I’m sorry.”

Patrick’s hand settled on David’s thigh. “No. I didn’t tell you that for an apology. I just… David I worry about you. I’ve _lost sleep_ worrying, David. I worry about what happens if the anxiety gets worse. I worry about what happens if you stop trusting me. I worry about what happens if you decide you need to leave here… or leave _me_.”

His voice was thick with emotion as he continued. “And I want to help you. In any way I can. But I worry I’m going to say or do the wrong thing. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what you need. I just need you to know I’m trying here. I love you and I want you to… this therapy thing, I want it to help. I want it to help you. I want it to help us.” His voice cracked as he worked to keep _himself_ from crying.

David reached for him. His arms around Patrick’s shoulders pulled him close. “I didn’t know you were worried. You don’t act worried. You don’t… I didn’t know.”

“David, _of course_ I’m worried. I love you.” Patrick nudged David back so he could see his face.

David waved his hands in front of himself as if to clear the air, “I know. I know you love me. I know you… care. I just… I didn’t know it was occupying your mind. I didn’t know you were worried.”

“David.” Patrick was tired. He was so tired. He didn’t understand how David wouldn’t know he was worried. It made him wonder how close David thought the two of them were.

Patrick rolled and lay on his back. Pulled the covers up to his waist.

David moved with him. Tucked under his arm. Rested his head on Patrick’s shoulder. “Listen,” David began. “In my family? I know they care. They want me to be successful. They want me to be… happy, I suppose. But I don’t think any of them ever sat and worried about me. Or… if they did, they didn’t say out loud.”

Patrick’s thumb rubbed David’s upper arm as he listened. Was reminded, yet again, of the vastly different upbringings the two men had experienced.

“I didn’t think about how all of this was hitting you.” David added.

Patrick shut his eyes and shook his head. “I don’t want you to think about me and how your therapy hits me. That’s the last thing you should think about. You need to focus on how you can do the best you can to get through it. I’m sorry, David. I didn’t mean to make this about me.”

David’s fingers moved over Patrick’s chest. He stroked him. Dragged his fingers across his chest, picked up his hand and moved it where it started. Dragged his fingers across his chest again.

“But it’s about you, too. I’m doing this for us, Patrick.” David said.

“No, Babe. You need to be doing it for you. So you will feel better… stronger. So you won’t have panic attacks.”

“Yes. Yes, I know. I’m doing it for that. But… Patrick if I weren’t in a relationship, it wouldn’t matter if I was… feeling those things. Yes, I’m going through therapy for those reasons. But I’m also doing it because I want to be healthy for you… for us.”

Patrick rolled to his side. Scooted so he was face-to-face with David. “I didn’t know that.”

“Now you know.” David told him.

“Now I know.” Patrick responded.

They lay there, noses nearly touching. Darkness surrounding them in the quiet room at 2:00 am.

“I want to make love to you.” Patrick told him.

David smiled, “OK.”

Patrick’s voice was low and he spoke slowly. “I want to be on top of you. I want to touch you. I want to lick you. I want to take my time with you. I want to fuck you.”

David nodded slowly. A toothy smile. “That sounds good.”

Patrick continued, “I’m going to use a condom. And I want us to keep using condoms until you’ve reached a point in therapy where you and I can both talk about it away from the bedroom.”

“Agreed.” David told him.

“Do you… want a drink or something, first?” Patrick’s fingers trailed down David’s chest and lingered just below his hipbone.

David shook his head. “HmMm.” His tongue darted out to moisten his lips.

“OK.” Patrick’s low voice caused a chill to run down David’s side.

David’s body moved to accommodate him. Legs spread; arms reaching up for him.

David pressed his head back into his pillow as he felt Patrick’s fingers, trailed by his lips make their way down his body.

His breath caught as Patrick kissed and licked him. As his fingers first toyed with and then boldly entered David’s body.

His toes curled at the sensation caused by Patrick’s tongue as it did that thing to his cock that David loved.

His hands grabbed fistfuls of bed sheet as Patrick sucked on first his inner thigh, then his balls, then his cock.

He sighed with relief when Patrick lowered his body over David and pressed his entire weight onto him, in that way that comforted David.

He moaned quietly as Patrick’s lips found that spot just under David’s ear. Where he kissed him and then spoke quietly to David in that low voice of his.

And, his fingers pressed firmly into Patrick as he came; one hand pressed against the back of Patrick’s head and one hand pressed against one of Patrick’s ass cheeks. Pulling him as close as he could, encouraging Patrick to hold him securely while his body vibrated from the waves of pleasure that culminated as a result of Patrick’s touch.

And then he opened his eyes to watch Patrick. That face he adored as Patrick’s lips pulled flat and tight against his teeth, as his nostrils flared, as his brown eyes locked with David’s.

David uttered the word, “Yours.”

And as he heard Patrick’s response, he closed his eyes and smiled in satisfaction.

_Yes._

_Mine_.

++


	23. The VIP MVP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David talks Cabaret costumes with Gwen. Patrick learns that he is down a player and needs a 9th in order to compete in the championship game. David steps up to the plate. Patrick gets a fantasy. Patrick and Mr. Rose have a conversation. David gets what he wants in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place before, during, and after 5.09. 
> 
> +++  
> Before you read this, I want to acknowledge that I know there was not a dugout at the ball diamond where the championship game was played in the episode. But it was a detail I was willing to overlook for the scene that will unfold late in this chapter. So, I am asking you to suspend the reality of what you see on the show and join me in my (and Patrick's) little fantasy.
> 
> Thank you to my dear DisgruntledPelican to whom I nervously ranted about how I'd had a dugout in my mind, even though there is no dugout. Honestly? She listened far longer than any friend should. And then she said to me (I'm paraphrasing here) – "It makes sense, since when you wrote about sports in the past, you stepped away from sticking with the show. Maybe writing sports does that to you. It’s your story, so write what you want." So - thank you, DP for just reminding me of my own words "Write for yourself." *Face blowing a kiss emoji* 
> 
> I also want to thank Schitt’s Sheets over at Twitter & Instagram for, again, answering one of my questions. This one about how to properly spell Elm Glen. You are the one person I know who always has the organized detail that a girl like me needs in a moment’s notice before posting. Friends, if you don’t follow this Instagram account, you are missing out. *Red heart emoji*
> 
> +++
> 
> On another note. I didn't post on Saturday, because I wanted to wait until the 9th to post. 
> 
> 18 months ago today, I posted my very first chapter(s) of LOL: Part 1. EIGHTEEN MONTHS! 
> 
> And this posting is a special one for me. This post is my 100th posting on AO3. It is *not* my 100th chapter – one chapter was a list of songs that were mentioned in LOL: Part 2. 
> 
> It’s not 100 postings about David/Patrick. This 100 includes 20 chapters in my F/F story LOL: Goat Farming Edition and 1 RFP (Daniel/Noah). But a total of 100 postings in 18th months is worth celebrating, I think. 
> 
> And since we’re talking milestones, in this chapter was my 750,000th word posted. But, really… who’s counting?
> 
> Thanks to ALL OF YOU who have taken this journey with me. I'm SO not finished, yet.
> 
> Enjoy. 
> 
> PD
> 
> +++

++++++

“So, you’re saying I need to buy elastic? Like… _a lot of elastic_ … to make it?” David asked Gwen as they sat in the Schitt living room.

His mother and Jocelyn were in the kitchen, finishing their coffee. Beth had already made her leave and headed back to Elmdale. They had wrapped-up their weekly meeting of the Costume Design Team. They’d discussed thoroughly the potential lingerie to be worn by the Kit Kat Dancers and the meeting was essentially over.

When they sat alone in the living room, she asked him about Patrick’s costume. He told Gwen that he had found some suspenders at a second hand store in Elm Glen but they weren’t enough for the look he was trying for.

He briefly described, complete with hand movements, what he wanted for the look.

Gwen had suggested he buy some elastic. It would be relatively cheap and he could fashion the contraption however he wanted it. Then when Patrick wore it, it would be specifically made for his body.

“Not ribbon?” David asked her. He truly envisioned using ribbon, if he had to make it.

Gwen shrugged. “You could if you wanted, but it wouldn’t stretch with his dance movements. And, it would have to perfectly fit him to not fall off his shoulders or sag… around his…” Gwen pointed to her crotch.

David shut his eyes for a moment. Changed the subject quickly.

“Isn’t elastic white? I don’t want it to be white. I guess It could be an off-white.” David was thinking out loud.

“They make it in black, also.” She told him.

“But does it _look_ like… elastic?” He was confused. His frame of reference small.

She shook her head. “No, they have elastic that looks more ribbon. Maybe that’s what you’re thinking of?”

“Like… a package of elastic?” He asked her. Leaning forward. Still trying to wrap his brain around what she was saying.

“No. Not a package. Buy it by the yard. Off a bolt… or spool,” She told him.

He shook his head, “I’m confused.”

“We could drive to the craft store in Elmdale. See what they have there. Talk it through.” She offered.

As kind as Gwen was, David did not want to commit to a shopping trip with her. At least not right now. Not if he could do this on his own.  
  
“Thanks Gwen. I have an appointment in Elmdale tomorrow. Let me look and see what I find. If I need help, I’ll let you know.”

Gwen sat forward in her chair and described to him how he should first get some string, or yarn, and wrap it around Patrick however he thought he might want the straps to look. This would be how he could get a measurement of how long the elastic should be. Then he should go to the craft store, buy at least that much elastic. Then, he could cut the elastic and hand-sew the contraption.

“Or,” Gwen offered, ‘You could bring him over to my house and I could help sew it on my machine.”

David thought for a moment about Gwen settled at Patrick’s feet, wrapping elastic around his crotch and adjusting it. He imagined Patrick living through that.

He cleared his throat, “And if I were to hand-sew it, would it hold?”

“If you did it right, yes.” She told him.

David cocked his head and squinted his eyes. “Gwen, will you teach me how to sew?”

++++++

They had played several games and had one playoff game in front of them. They met for one last practice that Saturday morning – the day before the game. David had agreed to cover the store while Patrick met with the team.

Waiting for everyone to arrive, Patrick unloaded his bag of equipment from the trunk of his car. He was excited. Not just because this game marked the end of the season, and if he were being honest, he was ready for a bit of a break in his schedule. But also because this game was against Bob’s Garage. And Ronnie played on Bob’s team.

They’d run into one another at the café earlier in the week.

“Ready for the game on Sunday?” Patrick asked her. A bit of a challenge in his voice.

“Hell yeah, I’m ready. I’ve got a stacked team and you have no chance of winning,” Ronnie told him as she walked by him.

“I’ve got a stacked team, also. Sounds like it will be a good match.” Patrick shot back at her.

“We’ll see,” she drawled over her shoulder.

He thought he was in a bit of a pickle when Twyla had told him earlier in the week she wouldn’t be playing in the game. She had told him that she’d be at Cabaret rehearsal. In a bit of a panic he called Mrs. Rose to tell her he didn’t have the rehearsal on his calendar.

She was quick to inform him that his “Inherent aptitude and rich theatrical experiences would preclude him from the necessity of joining the particular ensemble of participants in that particular gathering.” Which he took to mean only those who needed extra practice need attend.

When the team gathered for batting practice Patrick began to count heads. They were short. “Gwen? Where’s Gwen?” Patrick asked. Nobody had an answer.

He called her. Got her voice mail. “Hey, Gwen. Just checking in. We’re having our last practice before the game. Hopin’ to see you soon.”

The group tossed the ball. Practiced batting. His stomach was in knots. They had to have nine players. With Twyla out, they had no wiggle room. _Where the hell was Gwen?_

++++++

The voice mail that came that Saturday afternoon was clear. And his heart sank. “Patrick, this is Gwen. Hey, I won’t be at the game. I’m headed to Pineburg… actually. I am going to meet a new friend that I met online. Spending the weekend. Good Luck! Hope y’all win the game!”

Patrick kept his disappointment to himself. Sulked through the day while he followed David around the craft store in Elmdale. David rattled on about elastic and thread and needles.

Patrick kept his head down and tried to think.

++++++

He’d called Twyla who told him she had asked her cousin, who couldn’t play. And they’d also asked a couple of the people who had played on other teams that didn’t make it to the finals. Everyone had already made weekend plans.

He sat at the counter at the café after his Sunday morning run and talked with Twyla.

“Why don’t you ask David?” Twyla asked him.

Patrick shook his head. “David doesn’t play sports.”

“Does he have to? Can’t you just put him out there in right field where Gwen plays? Don’t you mostly cover her anyway?” Twyla asked him.

“Yeah. Yeah I do.” Patrick nodded. Sipped on his hot tea. “She’s pretty good at bat, but she’s not that great in the field.”

“I have a spare shirt that will probably fit him. I ordered more than we needed this year.” Twyla went to the back room and came back with a box. She dug through it and pulled out two Café Tropical baseball shirts. Handed them to Patrick.

He looked at the sizes and handed one back to her. “I’ve got an extra pair of pants.”  
  
She handed him a ball cap. “What about cleats?”

++++++

David tilted his head back, rolled his eyes. Resigned to the fact that he was, in fact, going to have to step up and help him out.

“I have a couple questions,” David said.

“How many of the questions are about the _barbecue_?” Patrick asked. Knowing that the question meant David was going to play.

“Most of them. Like how soon after the game _is_ the barbecue? And will the players get to eat first? And if so, who is enforcing that rule?”

Patrick, relieved that he wouldn’t have to forfeit the game, moved in to hug him. “I love you, David.” He gave him kisses on his temple.

David working to not make it any bigger of a deal than it was, ignored the appreciation Patrick showed him and said, “OK. You say that now, but… I don’t do well with running.”

Patrick stepped away. Went to his closet.

David leaned against the kitchen sink and finished his juice. _What did I just agree to do?_ He thought to himself.

Hey eyed Patrick, whose rear was in the air while he was bent over and picking up a box that was in his closet.

“What are you doing?” David asked him.

“Getting your uniform.” Patrick set the box on the kitchen table.

Having put his mug in the sink, David wrapped his arms around himself. Not moving. “I’m sorry, _my uniform_?”

“You have to dress like the team.” Patrick told him.

“Oh no. No, no, no.” David shook his head and went into the restroom. Shut the door behind him.

When Patrick had told him that he was going to have to forfeit the game if he didn’t find another player, David felt badly for him. He, of all people, knew how hard Patrick had worked to get the team to the championship. He knew how driven he was to beat Ronnie. Well, driven to beat _everyone_ … not just Ronnie.

David also couldn’t help but feel like he owed something to Patrick. For the past few months, Patrick had been his rock. Had supported him, without fail, without complaint, in his therapeutic endeavors. He’d been strong when David needed him to be. He’d been quiet when that was what helped David most. At times, he had been the only thing that held David together. And, going to the game as a player felt like the least David could do to show his appreciation.

This was David’s first give-and-take relationship. Truly balanced. And it as time for David to do some giving.

He opened the bathroom door. Patrick sat in one of the arm chairs. Leg crossed. Waiting patiently for David.

“I’m not good at this game,” David told him. “You know that, right?” He sat on the couch across from Patrick.

“You’ll be fine,” Patrick shrugged.

“And if I’m so bad you lose because of me?” David asked him.

“You being there will at least let us play. If we don’t have you, we have to forfeit.” Patrick told him.

David nodded. Locked eyes with him.

“It’s just for fun, Babe. Just throwing the ball around for fun. I just need you to stand there.” Patrick stood and knelt in front of David. His hand on David’s knee. “No pressure.”

“Where’d you get the uniform. I can’t wear Gwen’s.” David told him. Half a smile on his face.

“Twyla had an extra jersey in your size. I have an extra pair of pants.” Patrick told him.

“M’Kay. What do I do about shoes?”

“I borrowed a pair in your size.” Patrick said. He stood and moved to the table. Pulled them out of the box.

“Dare I ask?” David asked him. Very concerned about whose shoes he’d be wearing.

Patrick’s eyes shifted. His face crinkled up into a look that said he hoped David didn’t freak out. “Bob?”

“Bob! Aren’t we playing Bob’s team today? Is he going barefoot?” David asked him. Hands flinging about.

“No. He’s not playing. He’s got Cabaret rehearsal.”

“Do _you_ have Cabaret rehearsal?” David asked. He was not going to play this fucking game without Patrick.

Patrick huffed out a laugh. “No. No, no. Your mom said it was for… people who needed more… work.”

“Good. I’m not playing this game without you.” David reached and took the shoes from Patrick.

“I’ll be there. Right beside you.” Patrick said.

“M’Kay. I’m going to need a few more kisses.” David touched his finger to his cheek.

Patrick smiled as he moved in.

 _Thank you, David._ Kiss. _I love you._ Kiss. _You’re saving the day._ Kiss _. I’ll owe you one._ Kiss.

David turned his head. Gave Patrick a swift, perfunctory kiss. “Now… I’m going to need to go home to get different underwear. I’m currently wearing black, and that’s not going to work. People will see _right through_ these pants.”

“You can put on a pair of mine. They’re white.” Patrick offered.

“Thank you, no. I want to wear my white boxer-briefs.” David told him. Tucked Bob’s shoes into the box with the rest of the baseball costume.

“You have a white pair?” Patrick asked. His eyebrows wiggled.

“One. I don’t wear them often. They’re not… _my favorite_.” David put a hand on his hip.

“I’d like to see those.” Patrick pulled David into his arms again. Kissed his neck.

“That can be arranged.” David told him flirtatiously.

++++++

Following Patrick down the stairs of his apartment building, David eyed his ass. Patrick carried his equipment bag and the box with David’s uniform.

“You know what I’d like to see?” David asked him.

Patrick held the door open and David walked through. Looped his arm through Patrick’s as they walked to the car.

“What’s that?” Patrick asked him.

Leaning in close, David asked, “You in these pants with a jock strap. Why don’t you ever wear one with your baseball costume?”

He opened the car door for David. “Uniform. And, because with these white pants you’d see right through them and see my ass.”

Before David got in the car his hand grabbed Patrick’s forearm. “Precisely. I’d like to see that.”

“That can be arranged.” Patrick told him flirtatiously.

++++++

He carried the box into David’s room. Talked to him about how to tuck the pants into the socks. Told David that, no, he could not wear his own shoes, specifically his comfortable Ugg’s; and that, yes, he might actually find himself running so Bob’s shoes were his best bet.

He sat at the table, alone in David’s room, while David dressed in the bathroom. He realized that it was a lot to put on David, but he tried to not dwell on any feelings of guilt. A feeling of selfishness washed over him for a moment, but he pushed it away. He could only think about winning the championship. Beating Ronnie.

And how he wanted to _fucking crush her_ … once and for all.

He drummed his fingers on the table top. That nervous feeling before an important game starts.

The bathroom door opened and David stepped into the room. And Patrick’s body responded.

David. In a baseball uniform.

If you’d have asked him prior to that moment, he would have never placed it on his list of fantasies. Never would have thought about it, really.

But there he was. In a snug cotton baseball jersey made of a thin fabric. In fitted white baseball breeches. A baseball cap.

He looked good. He looked _damn_ good. But Patrick also knew that David was insecure about how he looked, and he would not waste an opportunity to tease him. Make light of the situation.

“Woww,” Patrick said quietly.

“OK. _Just_ so you’re aware. I had a very cute my-boyfriend’s-on-the-baseball-team _spectator look_ prepared for today? And now I’m wearing tap shoes.”

++++++

They walked together to the field.

Patrick called out to his teammates. “We got this!” and “Let’s get it!” and “Yeah, Baby!”

David had seen this in him. Seen it dozens of times over the course of the last couple of months. He’d been to plenty of Patrick’s games. When he’d sat in the stands as a spectator and watched his sporty-spice boyfriend be all peppy and cheerleader-y with his teammates, it made David smile. He had always liked seeing Patrick so excited.

But now? Walking beside him to the baseball court? It was not attractive. And it was setting David’s nerves on edge.

David stopped in his tracks and Patrick took several steps before he realized David was not beside him. He turned around, “Babe? Something wrong?” He walked back to David.

Patrick turned when one of the teammates called out to him. “Yeah! Let’s get it!” He yelled back at him.

“Could you maybe… take _this_ ,” David waved his hand in a giant circle in the direction of Patrick, “down a notch?” 

“Sorry, David. I’m just trying to pump-up the team. Keep morale high.” Patrick put his hand on David’s back as they walked toward the field.

“Just… keep your expectations in check. OK?” David told him.

The team gathered together. Patrick let them know David would be playing with them. The team knew him, of course. He’d been to all of their games and many of their practices. Nobody seemed bothered by the addition of David.

They split into pairs to warm up. David followed Patrick out into the field. When he threw the ball at Patrick, it landed somewhere in the middle between them. Patrick ran to it and picked it up and threw it right back at David, trying hard to send it to his glove.

David threw it back, threw it over Patrick’s shoulder and it hit the ground about 6 feet left of Patrick. Patrick ran and got it and threw it back to David, again, working to get it right into David’s glove.

“You’re getting better at this,” David told him as he threw the ball and it landed about five feet in front of Patrick.

++++++

David reached into the iced water of the cooler and pulled out a soda. Sat on the bench and sipped it.

Patrick sat beside him. Opened his Gatorade.

“Be careful. Don’t drink that too fast. It upsets your belly when you’re overheated,” David told him.

One side of Patrick’s mouth pulled back in a half grin. “OK.”

They sat for a moment in silence.

“You doin’ OK?” Patrick asked him. At the end of the previous inning, David had struck out for the second time. But he seemed to be in good enough spirits. Patrick knew that if he were to strike out, he would be inconsolable.

“The only thing that’s bothering me is that we just finished the top of the 7th inning and I don’t feel like we’re giving the whole theory of the 7th inning stretch the justice it deserves.” David said with a smirk before taking another sip of his soda.

Johnny, who was standing behind the boys and keeping his eyes on David heard what his son said. Of course, he had no clue what David meant. Johnny, said, “Oh, Son. That’s a great idea. We should all sing!”

And then Johnny began to sing, “Take me out to the ball game…”

“Ohmygod,” David muttered.

Johnny looked at Patrick. Patted him on the shoulder. Patrick stood and joined in, “Take me out with the crowd!”

Before long both teams and their handful of cheering fans were singing along.

 _Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks_ _  
I don't care if I never get back  
Let me root, root, root  
For the home team  
If they don't win it's a shame  
  
For it's one,  
Two,  
Three strikes you're out  
At the old ball game!_

All the while, David silently sipped his soda and rolled his eyes.

++++++

Patrick’s heart fell down to his stomach. He knew. He was the captain of this sinking ship and he knew what was going to happen.  
  
He didn’t need Ronnie gloating to him. But he also knew if the roles were reversed, he’d likely take advantage of the situation and do the same to her. It would have been so much easier, though, taking the gloating from someone else… anyone else.

And it would have been a hell of a lot easier if the next person at bat was not David. It was too much pressure. Too much on David.  
  
But, he seemed confident. At least he wasn’t embarrassed by the fact that he’d struck out a couple of times prior. OK, three times. He had struck out three times.

Patrick watched him confidently, defiantly, pick up the bat and walk toward home plate.

Patrick took heart that when they lost, David likely wouldn’t take the loss personally. And Patrick promised himself that when they lost, he wouldn’t hold it over David’s head. He reminded himself that if David hadn’t agreed to play, they’d have had to forfeit. Not even had the chance to fight for the win. That would have been worse.

He reminded himself that David had at least tried. David had….

Just then, David’s bat made contact with the ball.

SMACK!

And the ball went out over the heads of players. Out to left field.

“OH MY GOD!” Patrick yelled. “Run, David! RUN!”

++++++

After they ate, David and Patrick made their way around the crowd who had stuck around to enjoy the post-game barbecue. Talked with their teammates and those on the opposing team. Good game. Congratulations. Great season.

David enjoyed more than his fair share of praise. “What a great hit!” and “You saved the day!” Patrick stood a half step behind him, hand on David’s back. Pleased that David was getting the attention.

Patrick turned and found himself face-to-face with Ronnie.  
  
His eyes grew large and he pressed his lips together. Nodded. Heard his mother in his mind. Reminded himself to be a gracious winner. “Ronnie,” he said seriously. “It was a tight game.”

Ronnie, hands on her hips, nodded. “Yup. Turns out you had both Roses on your team.”

“I don’t… I don’t think that’s…” And then Patrick stopped talking. There was no point. “You know what, Ronnie? Good game.” Patrick held out his hand.

Ronnie shook it. “Yeah. We’ll see you on the field next year.”

++++++

David helped carry the bags of trash to the dumpsters. Brushed his hands on his pants and scanned the parking lot. With only two or three cars left, including Patrick’s, he realized he hadn’t laid eyes on his boyfriend for a while.

He waved at Roland and Ronnie, with his dad perched between them in Roland’s truck as they drove away.

Said goodbye to the person getting into the only other car besides Patrick’s in the lot.

He walked past where everyone had sat to eat. Nobody was left there. He kept going, toward the baseball court.

“Patrick?” He called out.

“Yeah.” David heard Patrick say. His voice came from the cage that held the players during the game.

David walked toward it. Patrick was hidden by the scoreboard that hung on the outside of the cage.

“Hi.” David said with a soft voice as he rounded the fencing and stepped into the cage.

Patrick was sitting on the bench. His head leaned back. His eyes closed. He opened his eyes and smiled, “Hey.”

“Been looking for you,” David said. He leaned against the fencing across from Patrick and faced him. Picked his right foot up and leaned it against the fence, his knee facing forward. His hands reached behind his back and his fingers latched around the links of the fence.

“Came in to get my gear.” Patrick said. He leaned over and put the two bats in his bag.

“You all right?” David asked him. His eyes on Patrick. Knowing something was bothering him.

“Kinda sad it’s over… even though I’m also glad. One thing off the calendar.” Patrick said. For as long as he could remember, he had to walk through a little grief over the ending of a season.

He leaned back. Hands on the bench beside himself. He eyed David.

David watched Patrick’s eyes drag up and down his frame.

“What else?” David asked. He didn’t move. Knew Patrick was taking in the view.

“Glad we won. Felt good. Felt _real_ good.” Patrick stood. Hands on his waist. His eyes settled on David’s chest.

“You’re a good coach,” David told him. “Even if you do come a little _unhinged_ and competitive… sometimes.”

Patrick took a step toward him. Turned his ball cap around so his bill was behind his head. “Thinkin’ my coaching won us the game.”

David lowered his foot to the ground, but kept his hands behind his back. Knowing it pulled his baseball jersey tighter across his chest. Knowing Patrick’s eyes hadn’t left that spot since they started talking. “Mmmm. I’m thinking it was _my hit_ that brought everyone in?”

“It was a really good hit, Babe.” Patrick’s left hand flattened against David’s chest. Moved across him where his eyes had been settled.

David’s mouth pulled to the side in a flirty smile. “Glad I could be your VIP today, Coach.”

“MVP,” Patrick murmured against David’s flesh as he kissed him on the neck. Ran his right hand around David’s waist. His hand pressed against David’s lower back.

David tilted his head from side to side. “Po-TA-to. PO-ta-TO.”

Without pause, Patrick’s hand moved from David’s chest to the back of his head and he pulled him close. His lips claimed David’s. Hard and sure.

David fingers tightened around the chain-link fencing behind himself. He willingly opened his mouth, inviting Patrick to take him.

His tongue delved deep into David’s mouth where David hungrily sucked on him.

David’s hands released the fence and moved to Patrick’s body. His arms wrapped around Patrick. His hands dropped to Patrick’s ass and urged Patrick to press harder against him.

The surge Patrick felt was immediate and strong. He tore his mouth from David’s as his hands moved to David’s shoulders. He spun David around. Pressed him, face forward, against the fence. 

David’s fingers gripped the links of the fence. He turned his face to the side and pressed against it. The bill of his hat hit the fence and his hat tilted back on his head.

“This uniform,” Patrick growled as his mouth worked the back of David’s neck. Licked his salty skin. Nipped at him. Started a hickey. All while his hips pressed forward. Firm against David’s ass.

“I’m glad you like it, Coach.” David arched his back, rubbed his ass against Patrick’s hard cock.

Patrick’s hands were on David’s chest, pressing against him. His fingers splayed as he massaged David’s chest. Grabbed him. Teased his nipples. “You look good, David.” Patrick said into his ear. He kissed his jaw. “Fuck… this uniform on you…”

David pressed his hands against the fence for leverage. He turned, forcing Patrick to momentarily loosen his grip on him. His back against the fence again, he looked into Patrick’s eyes. Smiled at the sight. Patrick’s flesh was flush, from spending the day in the sun and from their making out. The pupils in his eyes were blown wide. His lips slightly swollen from their kiss and from Patrick dragging them across David’s stubble.

“What are you going to do about it, Coach?” David asked him with a taunting voice.

“I have a fantasy.” Patrick admitted. Lowered his head. “Been thinkin’ about it all day.”

David’s finger touched Patrick’s chin. Encouraged him to look up. “Tell me, Coach. Maybe I could help. I want to keep my VIP status.”

He nuzzled David’s neck. Planted kisses. Inhaled deeply to smell him. “I’ve always wanted to fuck someone in the dugout.”

David’s mouth pulled to the side in a sly smile. “You fuck me in the dugout all the time. Why don’t you fuck me in this little cage thingy?”

Patrick threw back his head and laughed. His eyes danced as he took in David’s smiling face.

David chuckled. A toothy grin flashed quickly across his face. His eyes fluttered closed.

Patrick’s face grew serious as he felt David’s flirtatious nature wash over him. He clenched his jaw. Slowly shook his head.

 _I’m so lucky._ Patrick thought. _I’m going to make him my husband._

Both of his hands moved to David’s face. He pulled him in for another kiss. Intense. Carnal. David’s body moved as the force of Patrick’s body pressed him back against the fence.

David’s hands, on Patrick’s ass, gripped him. David rocked his hips against Patrick. Enjoyed the friction it caused.

Patrick pulled his lips away to ask, “Condom. Lube.” And then his lips were back on David. His tongue fucking David’s mouth, not allowing him to answer. His hand moved to cup David’s erection through his pants.

David’s hands moved to Patrick’s shoulders and he pressed against Patrick. Pushed him back.

Reading David’s body language, Patrick took a half step back. His brow furrowed as he locked eyes with David.

“I don’t have anything.” David struggled for a breath. Leaned back. Hands dropped to his side.

“What?” Patrick, hands on his waist, stepped another step back. “Where’s your bag? Is it in the car? I can go….”

David cut him off. “No. Fuck. I left it at my place.”

Patrick looked at him as though David were speaking a language he didn’t understand. “What?”

“I didn’t think I’d need my bag. Your bag is over there,” David pointed to the bag where Patrick had stuffed his bats. “Don’t you have something in…”

“That’s my _equipment_ bag. I don’t keep condoms in it.” Patrick said, as though David should know exactly what an equipment bag held.

“Seems like if you have a fantasy to fuck in the baseball cage, you should carry what you’d need to…”

“I didn’t.” Patrick took a step back. Took his hat off. Ran his hand through his hair. Replaced his hat – bill in the front. Hand on the back of it, other hand on the bill tugging it down. Frustration in his voice. “So, that’s that.”

“Let’s not despair.” David maneuvered them. Hands on Patrick’s shoulders, moved him to lean against the fence where David had been standing. “They don’t call me the VIP for nothing.”

“MVP.” Patrick muttered. On the verge of a pout.

“We’ll see.” David’s raised eyebrows showed his teasing mood.

Without breaking eye contact with Patrick, David’s hands busied themselves unfastening Patrick’s belt. Undoing his pants.

“Have I ever told you, Coach, how sexy you are in your little sporty-spice outfits?” David asked him with a shimmy of his shoulders. Knowing he was bringing Patrick out of the start of a bad mood.

Patrick’s lips pressed together. His eyes crinkled. His head tilted to the side. “You may have mentioned it a time or two.”

David, on his knees, looked up at Patrick. “Only thing that would make this better would be you in a jock strap.”

David’s hands cupped Patrick through the thin fabric of his underwear.

Patrick, looking down at David’s face, took hold of the bill of David’s hat. “Can I just… move this…” And he turned the hat around. Bill to the back.

David looked up at him with the backward ball cap on his head. “That do it for you?” He teased Patrick.

“I think it might.” Patrick told him. The palm of his right hand resting on David’s left cheek. Seeing David, backward hat on his head, sitting on his knees in front of Patrick… caused his dick to surge. Pulse in anticipation.

Patrick pulled half his bottom lip into his mouth when David’s hand reached into his underwear and released his thick, hard cock.

“You’re a really good ball player, Coach.” David told him before opening his mouth and pulling Patrick in.

No need to build his desire. No teasing. No gentleness. He pulled Patrick deep into his mouth and sucked on him.

Patrick was hard and wanting, and David knew just what would do it for him. David reached for Patrick’s hands and wordlessly sent him a signal by putting Patrick’s hands on the sides of his head. Telling Patrick that if he wanted to control it, he could. The depth. The speed. David.

Patrick, looking down onto the backward hat in front of him, looked around the dugout and back at David’s body in front of him. He rolled his head back and shut his eyes. Remembered his days in high school spent in dugouts. Remembered sneaking glances at the firm, round asses. The muscled backs. The flat chests. Not realizing at the time why he looked, but aware of the bodies of his physically-fit teammates.

He looked down at the cap over the head sucking on him and he began to move. Began to take control. Maneuvered David, pulling him off and pushing him forward again.

David’s hands had pulled Patrick’s pants down. His ass bare. David’s hands grasped him. Massaged his ass cheeks. A dry finger teasing his hole.

His mind wondered, again. To the bedroom of his youth. To the posters there. The professional baseball players in tight uniforms. Batting. Catching. Throwing. How sometimes when he was masturbating, his eyes would linger on those posters. How _the fuck_ did he not know?

Patrick released David’s head. His hands moved to the fencing he leaned against. His hands reached up behind himself and his fingers clasped the chain link on each side of his head. He gave himself completely to David. Complete control to David.

David looked up at him. Pulled off him. Grasped his cock with his hand.

“You OK, Coach?” David asked him.

Patrick looked down at him. Smiled. Nodded his head. “I’m perfect. David. You’re _everything_ I ever dreamed of…I just didn’t understand… back then… what I was longing for.” 

He watched David put his finger into his mouth and draw it out, damp and ready.

And then he leaned his head back and shut his eyes. A soft moan escaped him as David’s mouth drew him back in. And David’s finger pressed gently into his most intimate space.

As David’s finger gently fucked him and his mouth pulled Patrick nearer and nearer, Patrick looked down at him again. David’s shoulders moved as his arms around Patrick tightened to pull him in. His head, with the backward ball cap, moved in steady rhythm as he bobbed on Patrick’s cock.

He didn’t need to pretend that David was a fantasy from his youth. He was in love with David Rose. And David was there. After loving Patrick enough to play a game he hated. On his knees in the dirty dugout, showing Patrick how much he loved him.

Patrick’s hands touched him.

Pulled David’s ball cap off with one hand and ran the fingers of his other hand through David’s hair.

The vibration of David’s moan ran through Patrick’s cock. His hips bucked forward and he tossed David’s hat. Both of his hands buried in David’s thick shock of hair.

The sucking on his cock intensified and he felt himself falling into a pool of pleasure that David had created.

The sign came as it always did. And David’s heart swelled with the sweetness of it.

“David,” Patrick’s voice was low and quiet as one of his hands moved to grip David’s forearm. 

++++++

Gentle kisses. He kissed Patrick gently on the sensitive head of his cock, causing Patrick to pull back and make a sound. He kissed him gently on his hip. On his lower abdomen. He rested his cheek against Patrick’s warm, pink flesh. Held him tightly in his arms.

One of Patrick’s hands rested on David’s upper back while the fingers of the other hand ran through David’s hair. Slowly. Lovingly.

“Thank you,” Patrick told him. Tugged on his upper arms to help David stand.

David shifted his weight, gripped Patrick’s strong arm and let Patrick half pull him up. As he stood, he leaned over and brushed off his knees. Picked up his ball cap and put it back on his head. All the while, Patrick was adjusting himself back into his underwear, tucking his shirt into his pants. Fastening his belt.

With a tilt of his head and a wiggling of his eyebrows, Patrick asked, “You wanna…?”

David shook his head, “Not my fantasy, Coach. But thanks.”

Pulling him into an embrace, Patrick tucked into him. Kissed him on the neck. Then, with both hands on David’s face, pulled him in for a deep kiss. Tasting himself inside of David’s mouth had become one of those things that Patrick had learned to enjoy over the past year, and he took every opportunity to do it.

David tilted his head, giving Patrick room on his neck to give him kisses. “That was a nice thing you said.” David’s voice was soft.

“I meant it. I’m so glad I found you, David. I don’t know how I didn’t understand… back then.” Patrick held him tightly.

“Fortunately, I found you… so… you didn’t have to miss out.” David’s hands on Patrick’s shoulders nudged him back so he could look at him.

“Fortunately for you, I happened to have time on my hands and knew how to fill out paperwork.” Patrick told him.

“My hero.” David brushed his hands down Patrick’s arms.

“So… what fantasy can we fulfill for you?” Patrick pushed his bill up and over, his ball cap resting askew on top of his head. He looked into David’s eyes. Wiggled his eyebrows.

“No fantasy comes to mind,” David released Patrick from his grasp and moved to step out of the cage that holds the players.

Patrick picked up his bag to follow David and stopped short when David turned and said over his shoulder, “But I’m fucking you while you wear a jockstrap when we get home.”

++++++

Patrick parked his car and hopped out. David sat and waited. He liked when Patrick opened the door for him. It made him feel treasured. Patrick often did things to make him feel that way.

Patrick reached his hand into the car and David took hold of it and let Patrick help him out.

“I won’t take long. Just want to get a change of clothes.” David told him. Rubbed his palm on Patrick’s chest.

“Will you wait to change? Keep the uniform on a little longer?” Patrick’s voice was near a whisper.

“Whatever you want, Coach,” David’s hand trialed down Patrick’s chest. He cupped his crotch.

Patrick dug in the console of his car while David went into his room. He found the change he needed to buy a soda from the machine.

When Patrick popped it open, took a long drink of the cool bubbly liquid, David’s dad stepped outside. Dressed in his typical attire. A bespoke suit. No sign that he had ever been in a baseball uniform.

“Well hi there, Patrick! Good game today. Excellent team you have.” David’s dad said. He held out his hand and Patrick shook it.

“Thanks, Mr. Rose. Couldn’t have done it without David.” Patrick told him.

“That was quite a hit. I’m one proud father,” he said.

“You’re not so bad yourself. You played really well out there.” Patrick told him. Took a sip of his soda.

“You know, that reminds me.” Mr. Rose pointed at Patrick. “Doesn’t Little League start soon? I think I’m supposed to be your assistant coach.”

“Yeah. Yeah we need to start gathering the kids next week for practice. I was worried we were going to have an overlap with the league games we just finished, but thankfully they didn’t.” Patrick told him.

“When do you want to talk about getting started?” Mr. Rose asked. He rubbed his hands together.

Patrick pressed his lips together. Shook his head. “No time like the present. Do you have some time now?”

“Well, let’s step into my office!” He held his hand up in the direction of the motel office.

Patrick followed him in. David’s dad moved to sit behind the desk. Perched himself on the stool. Plopped a note pad on the desk and grabbed a pen. Ready to take notes.

Patrick stood on the other side of the desk. Crossed his arms and leaned both elbows on the desk.

“This is going to be really exciting, huh? Huh?” Mr. Rose’s smile was broad and he held up a hand over the desk for a high five.

Patrick smiled, gently smacked his palm against Mr. Rose’s.

“It is. It _is_ exciting.” Patrick nodded his head.

The team was a Christmas gift from David. Or, as David had described it at the time, a Christmas gift from the whole family. The shirts and hats with the Rose Apothecary name and logo on them were purchased by David and given to him when they exchanged Christmas gifts several months prior.

As soon as David had told his Dad about the gift and that he planned to give it to Patrick, Mr. Rose had excitedly signed on as the assistant coach. And the role of team helper, the person in charge of refreshments after each game, was going to be shared by Stevie, Ted, and Alexis.

Patrick asked Mr. Rose if he had a specialty that he’d like to focus on while they worked with the kids.

“Well, when I played ball in Hebrew school, I was the star left-fielder. I had a pretty strong arm. The Rabbi used to call me Popeye.”

Patrick nodded his head and smiled, “That’s a pretty good nick-name, Mr. Rose.”

“Agreed. Agreed.” Mr. Rose said.

“I mean… the throw that landed in the middle of David’s back… I’d say you had some power behind it.” Patrick chuckled.

Mr. Rose pointed at Patrick with a smile, “Now, I wasn’t aiming at his back. I was trying to throw it to the catcher. David just got in the way.” Mr. Rose chuckled.

The two of them talked through it. Mr. Rose would work with the kids on their throwing and catching. Patrick would work on their batting. Work with them on the rules and how to cover a base.

The conversation died down as they didn’t have much else to discuss. Neither man knowing quite what to say.

“How’s business here at the motel?” Patrick asked.

Mr. Rose recounted the story of their big win at the Hospies. He told Patrick how excited he was that they’d been full, or nearly at capacity, every weekend for months. He talked about changes they were making to the property.

Patrick smiled as he listened. Nodding his head, asking questions to draw out more conversation from David’s dad who was clearly very excited and proud of his work. 

The office door opened. David poked his head in.

“Here you are,” he said, stepping into the room. “I couldn’t find you,” he moved to stand beside Patrick. Put one arm around Patrick; his hand rubbed his back possessively. His other hand resting on Patrick’s bicep; squeezed him.

Patrick turned his head. Gave David a kiss on the cheek. “Your dad and I were just talking Little League.”

“Ohmygod,” David said quietly.

“Oh, David. It’s exciting, isn’t it? Patrick and I will be working side-by-side.” Johnny told his son. “Really getting to know each other!”

“Hadn’t really thought that one through last December,” David said quietly. Squeezed Patrick’s arm again.

Patrick chuckled. “You ready to go, David?”

“Mmhm.” David nodded. “Yup.”

“Mr. Rose I’ll shoot you a text about our first practice. That be OK?” Patrick asked him.

“Maybe you could call me… I.. uh… don’t do so well with the tweeting.” he told Patrick.

Patrick suppressed a smile. Nodded. “Absolutely. I’ll call you. I’ll get your number from David.”

“Looking forward to it Patrick.” Mr. Rose held his hand over the counter to shake Patrick’s. Again.

Patrick dutifully shook David’s dad’s hand before they left the office.

++++++

Patrick carried his equipment bag and David’s bag up the stairs. David followed with the empty box that had contained his uniform. No doubt planning to return the uniform to it once he disrobed.

Whey they were finally in Patrick’s apartment, night was falling.

Patrick put the bags on the table. Turned to David. “Hungry?” He asked.

“Mmmhmm,” David sidled up to Patrick. Arms around his neck. Kisses to his cheek. His temple.

“I meant for dinner.” Patrick smiled. Kisses to David’s neck.

“Maybe after a while?” David suggested.

“Whatever my star player wants, my star player gets.” Patrick told him.

“Well… I have a few things to gather. Give me just a moment. How about you pour me some wine?” He waved Patrick away.

David took his bag and the empty box to the bed. Dug through his bag first. Put some things in the box. Then turned to go through Patrick’s dresser drawers. Found what he was looking for. Added to the contents of the box.

Patrick delivered David’s glass of wine with a kiss. “Whatcha got there?” Patrick took a sip of his whiskey. Nodded at the box.

“Your outfit for tonight.” David told him.

Patrick leaned over and looked into the box. Shook his head.

The blush creeping up his cheeks caused David to smile, wave his hand in front of himself, and say, “You like _me_ in _this_ outfit...”

“Uniform.” Patrick cut him off.

“Uniform,” David conceded. “I’d like to see you in this… outfit.” David held the box out to Patrick.

“David…”

“I believe you said whatever your VIP wanted…”

“MVP.” Patrick cut him off.

“Whatever your VIP…MVP wants, tonight? He gets. That’s what you said.” David said confidently. Boldly.

Patrick tossed back his whiskey. Handed David the glass. “I’m going to need another of those.” He reached for the box and headed for the bathroom. “I’m going to need some time. Need to shower and … make myself pretty.”

“No.” David called after him.

Patrick stopped at the bathroom door. Looked at David with a question on his face.

“Please don’t, Coach.” David asked him. “Come as you are… so to speak.”

He’d told him before, there was something about Patrick straight from a day of playing the game. Or Patrick directly after leaving the gym. Something about smelling like hard work and man. Of course, he’d never say no to Patrick fresh from the shower… but sometimes… like today? Sunshine, outdoors, and sweat on Patrick’s skin? _Mmmm._ That did it for David.

“Don’t change out of that, OK?” Patrick pointed across the room at David.

“You’ve got it, Coach.” David smiled back.

++++++

David could ask for whatever he wanted at this point, and Patrick would give it to him. But he’d be damned if he was going to go out there without at least washing the sweat off his balls before he put on that outfit for him.  
  
 _Outfit._ Patrick looked at the box again as he ran a hot soapy cloth over his balls. Back over his asshole. _That’s a costume, not an outfit._

Using a hot washcloth, he rinsed himself. Several times. Dried himself with a hand towel. Tossed both on top of the uniform he left in the corner on the bathroom floor. He sat on the toilet to pull on the socks. The boots. He pulled on the black jock strap David had given him months ago in the underwear exchange.

Standing, he tucked himself in, not an easy feat in a normal situation. He had a lot to pack into that small little triangle of fabric. But given he was already getting turned on, it was a little more difficult than normal to do the task.

He looked at himself in the mirror. Took a moment to muss his hair a bit. It had been flattened by the ball cap he wore all day and he knew David would appreciate as close to curls as he could make his short, cropped hair.

When he opened the door, he noticed that David had turned out the lights in the apartment, with the exception of one of the three lights on the floor lamp in the corner on David’s side of the bed. Patrick reached behind himself and shut out the bathroom light.

David had lit the few candles that they had in the apartment. The few that were stuck in the old wine bottles on the fireplace mantle. The one on Patrick’s bedside table.

Excitement caused more blood to surge to Patrick’s dick. He reached down to adjust himself as he leaned against the doorjamb. His dick wanted out; it pressed against the fabric that bulged out in its effort to confine it in place. His eyes settled on David who sat on the stool near Patrick’s desk. Knew that David was eyeing his body. His attire.

“Hey.” Patrick said quietly. Shyly.

David’s cock instantly responded when the bathroom door opened. But, knowing what he was going to see didn’t prepare him for actually seeing it.

“Do a twirl for me.” David raised a hand and with a finger indicated that Patrick should spin for him. Then, he added, “Please.”

Patrick’s lips pressed together in a suppressed smile. He stepped away from the doorjamb. He crossed one booted foot over the other and stepped down, turned slowly. Until he was facing away from David. He paused for a brief moment. Then he crossed his leg over the other again. Boot on the floor, and then turned again so he was facing David. He leaned against the door jamb again. A smirk on his face.  
  
David forced himself to take a deep breath. He’d seen Patrick. Fully clothed and naked. Wrapped in a towel. In various states of dress and undress. Sporty. Casual. Dressed up.

But this? This was the stuff that David had fantasied about.

Something Patrick wouldn’t just… put on. Something Patrick would not wear without being asked.

He wore the boots David had ordered for him. The used, slightly beaten pair of black lace up boots that he would wear in the Cabaret performance. A pair of David’s black socks that came halfway up Patrick’s thick, muscled calves.

And the black jock strap.

That’s all.

That’s all he needed wear in that moment.

And he was beautiful.

David had originally just wanted to see him wear the jock strap. Fuck him in the jock strap. It turned him on when Patrick wore it.

But as David was packing his bag for the night, he walked by the boots that had arrived the day before. And he realized it was an opportunity to get Patrick ready for what was to come in Cabaret. Of course, he would wear far more clothing than this on stage. But, if he could get Patrick to understand how very sexy he was…

David crossed one leg over the other. Coyly took a sip of his wine while he eyed Patrick.

“How about you do a little dance for me?” David asked casually. A smile on his face. A little lilt in his voice. “A little reward for… winning the game?”

Patrick, feeling more than a little exposed, crossed his arms over his chest. Tilted his head, squinted one of his eyes. “There’s no music, so…”

David set his wineglass down and with his forefinger poised over his phone teased, “I can fix that.”

Having already queued up a song, [he touched his finger to his phone and music started.](https://youtu.be/x6QZn9xiuOE)

Patrick chuckled. Even without him being the winning hit of the game, Patrick would do anything for him. He dropped his head to look at the boots on his feet. He shook his head. Lifted his eyes to look at David.

 _Mmmmm._ That shy little smile of his. “Come on. Dance for your VIP.” David encouraged him.

Patrick walked toward David who uncrossed his legs and sat with his cleated feet firmly on the floor in front of himself. His hands on his lap.

Patrick stepped in time to the slow beat of the music; shimmied his shoulders a little as he walked. Shyly pulled half his bottom lip into his mouth.

When he came to a standstill in front of David, he put his right hand behind his head. Without breaking eye contact, he bent his knees and ran his left hand down his chest, over his crotch, and down to his inner thigh.

David smiled a toothy smile as his eyes followed Patrick’s hand as it traveled down his body. Surprised that the move took his breath away. His eyes lingered on that skin of Patrick’s inner thigh. The light dusting of hair. David licked his lips.

Patrick moved to the beat of the music. Both of his hands traveled up his body, lingering briefly over the bulge of his crotch. He moved both hands behind his head and rolled his hips as he took first one step and then another closer to David.

He spotted a glass of whiskey on his desk, beside David’s wine glass. He picked up the glass and tossed its entirety down his throat. Handed the glass to David and then turned quickly.

He bent over. Touched his hand to the floor, which briefly presented his ass – up and open for David’s inspection – before Patrick rolled up, standing and turning back to face him.

David shifted in his seat. His dick hard. His heart pounding in his chest. Fingers clutching the empty whiskey glass.

One hand behind his head, his other hand trailing over his own body. Patrick danced to the slow groove of the music.

David moved to set the glass on the desk. His hand knocked his wineglass which nearly fell over. He fumbled. “Fuck,” he whispered. Quickly set the glass upright.

Patrick stifled a chuckle. Realizing he was doing something right if he was unnerving David, who was always cool and controlled when they were being intimate.

Patrick stepped close to him. Rolled his hips while he slowly lowered himself onto David’s lap. One leg on each side of David. David’s hands moved to his sides; not touching Patrick.

As he settled down, sitting on David’s lap, his hands rested on David’s shoulders. He watched David’s eyes dilate further. Watched David lick his lips, again.

His hips continued their movement while he tugged at David’s jersey; untucked it. His hands slid under the shirt; his fingers scraped along David’s skin. David broke the eye contact. Closed his eyes. Took a ragged breath.

Patrick removed David’s hat; set it on the desk and lifted David’s shirt up. David raised his arms and let Patrick remove it. He tossed the shirt onto the desk. Patrick returned David’s hat; setting it backward on David’s head.

David raised an eyebrow.

While still rocking his hips, Patrick began to kiss David. Used his tongue to delve deep into David’s mouth. His hand on the back of David’s neck, he tongue-fucked him.

No longer able to keep his hands to himself, David’s hand started by settling on the outside of Patrick’s thick thighs. Reveling in the feel of Patrick’s muscles moving under David’s touch.

As Patrick tore his mouth away from David and settled his lips on David’s neck, David’s hands moved up Patrick’s thighs and wrapped around him. Each hand holding one of Patrick’s firm, round ass cheeks.

Patrick raised himself up, hips still moving. Rocking. Taunting David.

One hand on David’s shoulder, his hand slowly worked down David’s arm until he held David’s hand in his. Patrick held David’s hand to his chest, then slowly dragged David’s hand down his abdomen until he reached the front of his jock strap.

David cupped him. Raised an eyebrow.

Patrick moved both of his hands behind his head again. His muscled arms flexed with the movement. David watched him, but kept his hand where it was, cupping Patrick’s hard, thick cock encased in fabric.

Patrick slowly turned. Slowly. David’s hand remained on Patrick’s skin, his fingers dragged across him as Patrick moved. Across Patrick’s hip. Onto Patrick’s ass.

With his ass facing David, he bent again. Slowly bent so that his hands touched the floor. Knowing what he was showing David.

David eyed him as he turned. _Yes. Show me, again._ He thought. His fingers didn’t leave Patrick’s skin. The tips of his fingers touched Patrick’s round ass cheek. And then, he bent over. _Fuck, yes._ His ass cheeks spread and teased David.

David reached out. One hand on each of Patrick’s hips and tugged him backward, ready to move in with his mouth and get started.

Patrick’s back rolled up and he took a step forward, away from David.

The song that had been playing stopped. Patrick paused. Somewhat disappointed the dance was over. But then a second song started. [The familiar twang of the first notes hit him.](https://youtu.be/4zAThXFOy2c) Tennessee Whiskey started and Patrick’s smile returned.

Just out of arms reach he looked down at David. Wanting on David’s face. His eyes roaming over Patrick’s body, never resting in one place for long.

Patrick liked seeing the impact he was having on David. Liked seeing the hunger in David’s eyes.

He was ready for more. He knew David was ready for more.

His tone of his voice was low. And he spoke in a near whisper. “Hungry?”

Slowly, David nodded. His eyes on the thick bulge pressing against the jock strap.

Taking a step toward him, he reached for David’s hand. David willingly offered it. He placed David’s hand on his crotch again. Returned one of his own hands behind his head. Let his other hand fall to his side.

As Patrick’s hips rocked toward David. As Patrick watched him, David’s hand slid into the snug contraption and wrapped around the cock that was ready and waiting for him. Released it from the jock strap, so that it stood boldly up and out of it.

While David’s hand pumped him, his other reached around Patrick and suddenly pulled him nearer. Patrick’s body jerked forward in David’s arm. 

A smile crossed Patrick’s face as he felt David’s warm mouth for the second time that day. His hips bucked forward, pressing himself deeper into David’s mouth.

David’s hands grasped him. Massaged his ass. Patrick’s hands settled on David’s shoulders. His head rolled back.

He reveled at the feel of it. The masterful way David sucked him in. Sucked in increments a little more at a time until the head of Patrick’s cock brushed the back of David’s mouth. The way his tongue flattened against the shaft of his cock, and then did that twirl thing when he pulled off of Patrick. _Yes. Like that_.

Patrick could have stood there and finished in David’s mouth, but he knew what David wanted. Knew what he wanted.

He took a step back. Pulled out of David.

His hand under David’s chin, caused David to look up at him. Patrick loved the look he saw on David’s face. He seldom saw that face. Lost. Totally lost in abandon. The face of someone who completely enthralled in the moment. Desire. Lust. Open. Wanting.

“Fuck me, David?” He asked him. “Please?”

David stood. Patrick’s hands worked to unfasten the belt and pants David wore. David kicked the cleats off his feet. The pants got hung up just below his knees with the socks holding them up. He kicked his legs clumsily. The pants stayed.

Patrick chuckled. Kneeled down in front of David. Held his leg still while he tugged David’s baseball pants down along with the knee socks that held them up.

David stood in front of him, wearing only his snug white boxer, briefs.

Patrick stood in front of him. Shook his head as his eyes traveled the length of David.

The dichotomy not lost on either of them. Patrick dressed, albeit sparingly, in black. David in white.

“I like those,” Patrick said. A slight lift of his chin in acknowledgement. He lightly touched his finger to David’s briefs. Touched the outline of David’s firm cock. Dragged his finger the length of David.

“I like _this_.” David’s fingers hooked inside the waistband of Patrick’s jock strap that currently stretched under his erect cock. David ran his finger around to the back of it. His hand moved to cup Patrick and pull him close.

Patrick’s fingers hooked into David’s briefs. Pushed them down David’s hips. They fell at David’s feet. David kicked them off. His cock firm and ready. His eyes closed at the feel of Patrick’s hand on him. Palming the head of David’s cock.

Patrick’s hands looped up around David. One arm over David’s right shoulder, the other under his left arm. He pulled David close. Their lips met. Their chests together. Their cocks, hard and ready, pressed between them.

He kissed David’s neck. “Want me to take the boots off?” Patrick asked him, knowing the answer.

David shook his head, “HmMmm.”  
  
He turned Patrick so that Patrick faced the desk. David pressed against Patrick’s back. His hands on Patrick’s chest moved down Patrick’s abdomen. One hand wrapped around his cock again. Stroked him. He kissed the back of Patrick’s neck.

He reached for the lube that he had set out on the desk. Lubed his hand and immediately set to prepare Patrick to be fucked.

In a moment of reality that flashed through his mind, Patrick turned his head. “David… I didn’t… get ready.”

“I know. It’s fine.” David whispered. His lubed finger moved in.

Patrick leaned his hands on the desk. Bent. Lifted his booted foot to the chair David had vacated. Spreading himself. Vulnerable. Open. Inviting David in. Sighed with satisfaction as David pumped his hand on his cock while prepping him to be fucked.

Patrick made the noises. The exhalation of pleasure. The quite moan that told David how good it felt when his finger ran against that one spot.

David kissed Patrick’s back. Between his shoulder blades. Trailed kisses over his shoulder. Controlling every feeling of pleasure Patrick experienced.

Patrick opened the condom. Turned to face David. David’s hands rested on Patrick’s arms. He watched Patrick’s hands. Steady. Sure.

Patrick held David’s long, hard cock in his hand. Pumped him. Rolled the condom down his length. Then he turned around again. Giving David the side of him he seldom offered. He leaned back over the desk, holding himself up with one hand. Picked his knee up. Rested it on the desk. Again, providing David with open access.

With one hand on Patrick’s shoulder, the other hand at the base of is own cock, David began to guide himself into him. He leaned against Patrick. His forehead against Patrick’s back. He inhaled deeply the scent of Patrick that he loved; sweat, heat. Man. Patrick after having played hard all day on the baseball court.

Both men lost in the moment. Both making the sounds that they made at such a time. The music playing softly beside them on David’s phone.

Patrick arched his back. Reached up with his hand to hold on to David’s hand as it rested on Patrick’s shoulder. Their fingers intertwined as David’s cock slowly, steadily moved through the first and the second rings of muscle. As Patrick grunted at the pressure.

David tried. He really tried to go slow. But once Patrick was surrounding him… completely enveloping him. Once his cock was in the hot, tight space that Patrick had offered him. He just didn’t have the control he had hoped. He’d waited all day. He’d missed their 7th inning stretch. He’d sat outside on his knees and sucked Patrick off.

He was at the moment he’d waited for all day. Patrick in that outfit. Patrick smelling as he did. Patrick having danced for him. Patrick, bent over for him. Patrick open for him.

David began to move. Harshly. Quickly. And it felt so fucking good to David.

His hands moved to Patrick’s hips. Pulled him back harshly as David thrust into him. The skin of his hip hitting Patrick’s ass; a rhythmic sound that echoed in the room.

“Fuck, yes.” Patrick told him. One hand tried to reach behind him to hold on to David but the force of David shoving him, caused him to place both hands on the desk to hold himself firmly in place to receive the pounding David was giving him.

But hands on the desk weren’t holding him in place well enough. One of his hands moved to the window over the desk. Pressed against it and provided leverage. Helped Patrick hold himself in place.

He wanted to jerk himself off, but he needed to hold himself firm for the pounding he was taking.

His cock needed attention. “David.” Patrick’s voice pleaded.

Never hesitating with his thrusts, one of David’s hands moved around Patrick. Knew what he wanted. He grasped Patrick’s wanting cock in his hand. Patrick’s hand slapped at the desk until it came in contact with the lube. He snapped off the lid and touched the bottle to David’s hand. Then his hand returned to brace himself.

Patrick exhaled a moan of pleasure as David’s slick hand slid down over his cock.

Patrick arched his back. Held himself solid while David satisfied both of them. With harsh thrusts into him and a grip around Patrick’s cock.

“David.” Patrick whispered. “It’s so good. Fuck, yes.” His head dropped as he felt himself near the goal.

David was close and wouldn’t hold on much longer for him. He liked it when Patrick came first. When he was inside Patrick when he came. Loved the feeling of it on his cock.

David knew the words that would take Patrick where he wanted him to go. And in that moment, all that David had been through that day, didn’t matter. He knew all that Patrick had been through over the months. Quietly supporting David through his journey. And he wanted to make him happy. He gave Patrick what he wouldn’t ask for.

“You won, Patrick.” He heard David say behind him. “You won the whole fucking thing. You won.”

The sound he made. Pleasure. Victory. Ecstasy. Satisfaction. It reverberated off the walls in the small apartment as he shot cum up over David’s hand and onto the desk.

And David pressed his forehead against Patrick’s back as he thrust into him once. Twice. And then David, who had waited all day for it, emptied every ounce that he created into the condom. One final thrust into Patrick’s quivering, tight hole.

They stood there, the two of them. Patrick – one arm still pressed against the window, one arm holding him up off the desk. Patrick – one booted foot on the floor, one knee up on the desk. David – one hand loosely grasping Patrick’s waning cock, one arm against Patrick’s chest with his hand wrapped up over the front of Patrick’s shoulder, hooked over him to pull him backward. David – his forehead pressed against Patrick’s back.

Both worked to recover. Gain their breath.

David moved first. His hand left Patrick’s shoulder and moved.

“Please, don’t. Not yet.” Patrick hated when they moved after sex. Hated it. He never wanted it to be over.

“Condom.” David whispered.

They maintained their position. David held the base of the condom, knowing his erection was leaving. Held the condom so he didn’t lose it.

He kissed Patrick’s back.

Patrick used David’s baseball jersey. Held David’s hand as he released Patrick’s cock. Wiped David’s hand. Wiped the puddle of cum from his desk. Wiped the bit that landed on his knee.

Patrick shut his eyes as David pulled out of him. Removed the condom; tied it off. Patrick felt the trickle go down his leg.

Embarrassment settled over him. He knew that when he didn’t prepare himself, there was going to be mess. He reached between his legs with the jersey and swiped it up his inner thigh. He lowered his knee from the desk. Both boots on the floor.

David tossed the condom into the trash can under the desk.

“Look at me,” David’s voice was deep and quiet. Knowing what Patrick was worried about.

Patrick blushed long before he turned around.

Patrick moved into David’s arms. Buried his face in David’s neck. “Sorry,” he whispered.

With a shrug, David said, “It’s a part of it. Nothing to worry about.”

“OK.” Patrick stepped back. His hands and eyes on David’s chest. He rubbed him. His mind went where it went several times during the day.

In a moment of complete vulnerability, Patrick told him, “I don’t know. David, sometimes? I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I don’t know why you’re with me.”

David waited for him to make eye contact.

“Patrick,” David gently said his name. Waited.

Patrick looked up at David. Exposed. Vulnerable.

David’s eyes softened. “I love you.” David’s hand cupped Patrick’s cheek. He kissed him. Then told him honestly, “You, Sir. You are the kindest… wisest… sexiest man _I have ever_ fucked. You… Mr. Brewer… are _my_ VIP MVP.”

+++


	24. The Collapse: Part 1 of 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Schedules are hectic in the lives of David and Patrick. David discovers that Patrick has let an important task fall between the cracks and David has to deal with it. Unfortunately, emotions take a turn for the worse as things don't go as planned for them. Family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers impact their day. David demands action. Patrick makes a decision that doesn't sit well with David.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 1 of 2 chapters that focus on the before, during, and after of 5.10.  
> (Possibly the one episode of Schitt's Creek, I could live without).  
> And... if we're being honest? You give me an episode with no Patrick, and I'm going to write a chapter (or two) about Patrick. *Winking face emoji*
> 
> ****SPOILER ALERT*****
> 
> If you are more concerned with avoiding spoilers than you are about triggers, skip the following warning.
> 
> *****WARNING******
> 
> There is an argument at the end of this chapter that will carry over to the next chapter. No physical violence or verbal violence. But serious arguing and emotion are present. They will, of course, land softly in the next chapter. If you do not want to wait between chapters for a resolution, I recommend you not read this chapter until the next chapter is posted. I anticipate posting the next chapter at the end of the week.
> 
> ****END WARNING****
> 
> My notes to you:  
> I had every intention of posting this chapter either on Friday night or Saturday. As you know, we found ourselves a nation of mourning at the loss of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Like many of you (all of you?) I found myself overwhelmed with a deep sense of loss and completely unable to function. 
> 
> Not able to muster what it would take to post, I mostly focused on self-care. The small group of friends who turned to one another at that time were kind to me and allowed me to drop all of my defenses and lay my grief and fear on the table. To those friends in the Rosebudd in a shared conversation, and to those who reached out individually, I thank you for being there for me. We don't always talk, but when I needed support, I found like-minded people who understood.
> 
> And to the two of you who let me say some very stark and emotional things, allowed me to drop my strength and show my deepest worry, I thank you. Always judgement-free. Always supportive. Always there. Thank you. 
> 
> I hope she rests well. If anyone deserves to sit down and rest, it is RBG. I will be eternally grateful to her and her family for their never-ending sacrifice. 
> 
> Also, I just want to celebrate with all of you the Emmy awards and our night of seeing our cast celebrate. Nearly a FULL HOUR of Schitt's Creek joy! One announcement after another. What an incredible, joyous, well-earned night for everyone. The cast and crew. The fandom. All of us having the moment of celebration we have wanted for years. 
> 
> Seeing them all get the gathering they never were able to have with the finale and seeing them celebrate one-another's victories was the uplifting and love-filled event we all needed. I enjoyed being on twitter with so many of you. Loved your posts. Loved the private messages. Loved the tears of joy. My goodness it was a much needed respite from this time we are in. 
> 
> If you live in the States, I am asking you this. IF you are young, healthy, and are able, please consider volunteering to work the polls in your home community. The older generations are typically the ones who work them, and it is anticipated that the typical poll worker will be unable to participate. If you are interested, here is a site that might get you started. https://www.eac.gov/help-america-vote
> 
> Finally. Please. If you live in the States, take time now to make your plan to vote. Early voting is one way you can ensure your vote goes in and is counted and will help reduce the massive lines expected on Election Day. Absentee/Mail-in ballots can be mailed or, in some cases, dropped off at the election office or at an early polling place. Check your community's Election Commissioner's website to be sure of specific rules for where you live. 
> 
> This fandom is very politically motivated, so I know I'm preaching to the choir, but you know me well enough by now, that I'm going to say these things in case someone here doesn't know what to do. As always, I'm here if you have questions or concerns. 
> 
> Be well.  
> Thank you for all you do - for each other and for me.
> 
> *Red heart emoji* PD
> 
> +++

++++++

David was annoyed. Not angry. He wouldn’t admit to being angry. But Patrick was supposed to talk with her. He had said he would be in charge of asking her and then he would spend time reminding her how to run things. This was not supposed to be David’s job.

But here he was.

Because she hadn’t said a word about it, and he worried that she’d forgotten about it. Just before she went in to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for bed, David finally asked, “Um… Alexis? What time will you be coming to the store in the morning?”

She looked at him like he was dropping new information on her.

“You _are_ coming to the store tomorrow morning, _right_?” David asked.

“Why would I come by the store on a Saturday morning, David?” She stood in the middle of their room. Pajamas in hand. Towel under her arm. Clearly annoyed with her brother.

“Because Patrick talked to you about working at the store tomorrow. Because Patrick… _told me_ … he was going to talk to you about working at the store tomorrow!” David’s voice grew louder with each word.

“Patrick didn’t talk to me about anything,” She told him. Head shaking.

“Are you sure you just didn’t forget?” David dialed Patrick as he spoke. Put him on speaker phone. Held the phone out, arm’s length, in front of himself to ensure that Alexis would hear Patrick confirm the conversation did, in fact, happen.

“Hey, David,” Patrick said. “Just hopping in the shower. Can I call you back?”

“I’m talking to Alexis who somehow has forgotten that you’ve spoken with her about working at the store tomorrow. I’m just wanting you to confirm when you…”

Patrick cut him off. “Shit. David. Shit. I forgot to talk to her.”

David’s hand that held the phone dropped to his lap. He looked at his sister. Looked at the phone.

With an I-told-you-so shrug and flip of her hair, Alexis went to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind her. Leaving David alone and, if only for a split second, speechless.

“Fuck.” David said. Exasperated. “Fuck. Fuck!”

++++++

Rehearsal had gone well. They’d begun practicing the singing. They’d worked on blocking over the previous week. He enjoyed it. All of it.

He had stayed after to work with others who asked. But he’d really liked that they’d started the singing rehearsals. He loved singing, but singing as part of a group was really great. Dancing was next. He wasn’t dreading it, but he was a little nervous about that part.

He had opted to walk to rehearsal. David had the car because they had planned for David to use it the next day as Patrick would be riding with Ray to the seminar.

Patrick liked the walk home from rehearsal, present situation included. It was late, and the spring evening was beautiful. Few people were out that late. He took his time, walked through the park. Meandered home enjoying the solitude. He let his mind wander.

Life had been busy. After the adult league ended, he and Mr. Rose started with the Little League team. Things were a little different with Little League. The practices were shorter, but they had them more often. Also, because it was a county-based league, their games happened in towns across the county. That meant leaving earlier for games and getting home later.

Patrick was enjoying the team. They were good kids. They seemed to have fun. It was obvious that Mr. Rose liked the kids as much as Patrick. High fives and praise offered with pats on the back were plentiful.

They’d played two games and both ended up with Ted, rather than David, Alexis, or Stevie, showing up as the person with snacks. Patrick didn’t mind. He and Ted got along well, and Ted was always ready with a pun that flew right over the kids’ heads but made Mr. Rose chuckle and offer a high five to an ecstatic Ted.

As much as everything seemed to be going well, his mind was also occupied. Not in a good way. Patrick was slowly becoming a nervous wreck. He’d stayed up late at night; his mind reeling. Going over how he’d tell his mom and dad.

His birthday was coming up; finally, a deadline for something he’d been putting off for months. It wouldn’t be more than a couple of weeks before he’d be at home. Staying in his old room. For three nights. And at some point during that time, he was going to tell them. Finally tell them that he’s gay.

And after he told them, he was going to have to figure out how to tell David about it all. And lately? Patrick thought of little else.

When he reached his apartment building, he trudged up the two flights of stairs. He stood over the sink while he ate cold left-over spaghetti that David had made for him the night prior. The cold beer he gulped tasted good going down.

He paused there, leaning against the kitchen counter. Another long drink of the beer. His mind so full, he couldn’t really think. His mind bounced around. The store. Rehearsal. Getting up early the next day to meet Ray for the conference. David. His parents. _Mom, Dad? I’m gay_.

Exhausted, he kicked his shoes off and left them there in the kitchen. He took his beer with him to the bathroom. He needed a hot shower and sleep. 

He disrobed. Tossed his clothes into the corner and started the hot water, let it warm up.

His phone rang.

“Hey, David,” Patrick said. “Just hopping in the shower. Can I call you back?”

“I’m talking to Alexis who somehow has forgotten that you’ve spoken with her about working at the store tomorrow. I’m just wanting you to confirm when you…”

Patrick cut him off. “Shit. David. Shit. I forgot to talk to her.”

There was a pause.

“Fuck.” David said. Exasperated. “Fuck. Fuck!”

“Shit, David, I’m sorry.” Patrick blurted.

David’s voice was suddenly quiet. He had clearly taken the phone off of speaker. “Fuck. Patrick.” The two words not accusatory, but full of disbelief. Disappointment.

Patrick turned the shower off. Sat down on the toilet. Elbows on his knees. He held his phone to his ear.

“David. I’m sorry. Hand the phone to her. I’ll talk to her.” Patrick told him.

“She’s in the shower.” David told him.

Patrick sighed. Sat up straight. Shut his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“How could you forget? Did you forget you’re going to the tax seminar tomorrow?” David asked.

“I don’t know.” Patrick ran a hand through his hair.

“You don’t know if you’re going to the seminar?” David asked the clarifying question.

“No. I’m going to the seminar. I don’t know how I forgot. David... I’m…”

“You’re sorry. I know.” David said.

They sat in silence.

“Do you want me to come over and talk with her?” Patrick asked.

“I’ve got it.” David told him. “I’ll take care of it.’

“If she can’t, we just shut the store. You can still go to the flea market.” Patrick told him. “It won’t be a big deal. It’s just a few hours and most of our customers will likely be at the flea market anyway.”

“The whole point of someone being at the store is to get the shipment.” David reminded him. Then asked, “Did you forget the shipment is coming in?”

“Damn. Yes, I did. I forgot about that.” Patrick stood. Left the bathroom. Walked across the apartment.

“Patrick?” Though David’s voice remained soft and quiet, his pitch grew higher. Concerned. “What is going on?”

“I just… I forgot. I’m sorry.” Patrick told him. He ran his hand over his head. Scratched his head. Sat down on his bed.

David worked to be as quiet as possible. “Are you OK?” David asked him. Trying to figure out why Patrick was letting things slip.

“Fine. I’m fine.” Patrick told him. Because Patrick would never admit that he was anything less than that. Or, he’d have to admit why his mind was preoccupied. And he couldn’t admit that to David. At least not yet.

They sat in silence.

David held in his frustration. He knew Patrick had been dealing with a lot. Rehearsals for the show. Little League. Work.

But Patrick wasn’t the only one. David was _also_ remarkably busy. It wasn’t like he was sitting around eating bon bons while Patrick was at his scheduled commitments. 

David had the regular meetings of Cabaret’s costume design team on top of the individual work he had been putting in on Patrick’s costume. But, on many nights, long after most people were home and in bed, he found himself sitting with Stevie to support her while she struggled. Or listening to his mother drone on about her troubles as director.

More than ever before, David had worked alone at the store; and, overall, he didn’t mind. He knew Patrick was busy. And he knew it was a short-term situation. But even though he’d agreed to it, David was putting in the lion’s share of the work and he wasn’t sure that Patrick had ever acknowledged that fact. And it was starting to wear on him.

And, then there was _the baseball_. He’d already sat through an entire season, and helped to win the championship. But suddenly he was faced with another season with… _shudder_ … children.

To add to all of it, he was thick into planning Patrick’s surprise birthday party that was just around the corner. And, there, he would meet Patrick’s parents for the first time. Their families would be meeting each other. The stress of ensuring it was perfect was turning David into a nervous wreck.

David was tired. Exhausted. Emotionally and physically.

So, was it too much to ask for him to assume that when Patrick – his hyper-capable, unassumingly-sexy partner in business and love – told him he was going to do something… that he was _actually_ _going to do it_?

He pushed down his frustration. He bit back the scolding words that sat on the tip of his tongue. He held it all in. Because arguing _in that moment_ would serve no one.

David took a deep breath. Exhaled slowly.

“What time do you leave tomorrow?” David asked him.

Silence.

“Patrick. What time do you leave tomorrow?” David voice was a little louder.

He was met with the sound of snoring.

On the other end of the line, Patrick had reclined onto the bed. Rolled to his side and rested his phone under his ear so he could talk with David. And while the two sat in silence. While David first seethed and then calmed himself, Patrick fell to sleep.

++++++

In the middle of the night, Patrick woke. Spread eagle. Naked on his bed. Shivering.

He got off his bed and pulled the blankets back. Before getting into his bed to warm up, he walked through the apartment to shut off lights. Took a piss. Got a drink of water. Set the alarm on his phone.

 _Did I fall to sleep on David?_ He thought, briefly, before laying back down, pulling the covers up over himself, and falling back to sleep.

++++++

“Hi, Patrick!” Ray was cheerful. Probably too cheerful for their early morning drive to Cedar Grove.

“Ray.” Patrick nodded to him as he settled into the passenger seat of Ray’s compact car. Set his travel mug of hot tea in its space in the cup holder. His messenger bag between his feet. Strapped himself in.

“It’s going to be a good day! Tax seminar, here we come!” Ray announced, a fist in the air, as he put his car in gear and headed out of town.

The information about the seminar had gone out a couple of months prior. Ray had approached Patrick about it and recommended they go together. Both would benefit from hearing about the updated tax codes and Ray, always a social person, felt like he’d do better at processing the information if Patrick were with him.

At the time, Patrick had read through the information and felt like it would be a worthy way to spend a Saturday. He’d sent in his registration and payment and hadn’t thought much more of it. Until the date approached and he realized there were a half-dozen other things he’d rather do on that particular day.

But there he was, leaving Schitt’s creek just before 7 am, so they could make it to the seminar that started at 8. Then he’d spend seven hours going over tax codes, learning about new federal and state forms, and … listening to Ray enthusiastically fill Patrick in on everything from the last poker game to the new person he’d been dating.

He knew it was early and David wouldn’t want to be disturbed. But he was afraid that, given the way his mind was working these days, he’d forget to text David once they arrived at the seminar. So, he decided to text David while they were on the way.

_You (6:51 am):_

‘David I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.’

  
It didn’t surprise Patrick that David didn’t respond. He was certainly still asleep and hopefully Patrick’s text hadn’t disturbed him. At least the text was sent. David could respond when he was up and around.

Ray was rattling off a list of his newest properties for sale and Patrick was half listening, when his phone vibrated.

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:53 am):_

‘For waking me up?’

_You (6:53 am):_

‘Sorry. Yes, Seminar starts at 8. When we get there, I won’t have time to text until break time.’

‘But I’m also sorry I dropped the ball with Alexis.’

‘And for going to sleep on you last night.’ *Man facepalming emoji*

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:53 am):_

‘It’s fine, Patrick. Glad you got some sleep.’

‘You need it.’

_You (6:54 am):_

‘Did Alexis agree to work today?’

“Are you texting David?” Ray asked him.

“Yeah,” Patrick nodded.

“Tell him I said Hello.” Ray told him.

“OK.” Patrick mumbled.

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:54 am):_

‘Yes. She’ll be there. Having her go in with me. While Stevie and I load the boxes, I’ll remind her how to use the register.’

_You (6:54 am):_

‘How are you going to do that if you’re loading boxes?’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:54 am):_

‘I think this is my thing now. Right?’

‘I’ll handle it.’

“What did he say?” Ray asked. “Did he say Hi back?”

_You (6:55 am):_

‘Ray says hi.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:55 am):_

‘Hi Ray.’ *Waving person emoji*

‘Drive safe and get my boyfriend back here so we can have a relaxing evening.’

“Yup.” He told Ray. “He says hi and to drive safe.”

“That’s so nice,” Ray was far too perky for Patrick’s liking in that moment.

_You (6:55 am):_

‘I’ll do better’

‘Promise’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:55 am):_

‘We’ll get through.’

_You (6:56 am):_

‘David’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:56 am):_

‘Patrick.’

_You (6:56 am):_

‘It’s a lot right now.’

‘I know it’s a lot on you, too.’

‘Because of me’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:56 am):_

‘It’s OK’

‘We just have to be more organized’

_You (6:57 am):_

‘I need to put everything on the calendar.’

‘I got lazy’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:57 am):_

‘Not lazy’

‘We’re both busy’

‘But yes. You originally set the calendar up to be helpful.’

‘We need to use it.’

_You (6:57 am):_

‘I’ll do better’

‘Promise’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:58 am):_

‘We’ll get through.’

“Tell David that the seminar is supposed to be really good today.” Ray piped up.

Patrick nodded his head.

_You (6:58 am):_

‘Ray wants you to know that the seminar is going to be good’

*Man shrugging emoji*

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:58 am):_

‘It better save us some money on write-offs or something.’

“What did he say?” Ray asked.

“He said he hoped it helped us save money at tax time.” Patrick told him.

“Tell him that I miss watching the dancing show with him. We watched it last year together.” Ray told him.

_You (6:58 am):_

‘Ray misses watching the dancing show with you.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:59 am):_

‘Memories’ *Red heart emoji*

_You (6:59 am):_

‘Before we were together.’

‘God you drove me crazy being so close’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (6:59 am):_

‘You know just what to say to a guy at the crack of dawn to make him happy’

“What did he say?” Ray asked.

“He says he misses it.’ Patrick said.

_You (6:59 am):_

‘I love you’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (7:00 am):_

‘Same’

_You (7:00 am):_

‘Thank you’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (7:00 am):_

‘For what?’

_You (7:00 am):_

‘For making this happen for us’

*Winking face emoji*

‘For everything. For being so understanding’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (7:00 am):_

‘Fortunately for you…’

_You (7:00 am):_

‘Go back to sleep. Get a little rest before you have to get up.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (7:01 am):_

‘Been up for hours. Nightmare again.’

_You (7:01 am):_

‘I’m so sorry.’

‘I’ll hold you tonight and keep them at bay.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (7:01 am):_

‘Yes please.’

‘Have to get up now. Both of us getting ready this morning.’

_You (7:01 am):_

‘Yeah. If I don’t stop texting, Ray will have more to say.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (7:02 am):_

‘When you have a break today, please check in?’

_You (7:02 am):_

‘I’ll do my best’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (7:02 am):_

‘Send me a selfie of you and Ray at the seminar’

‘He’ll like that’

_You (7:02 am):_

‘Will do.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (7:03 am):_

‘Give me massage tonight?’

_You (7:03 am):_

*Thumbs up emoji*

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (7:03 am):_

‘You can use your thumb if you want, but I want full body first.’

*Winking face emoji*

Patrick chuckled.

“Did he say something funny?” Ray said.

“He said he wants us to take a selfie at the seminar and send it to him.” Patrick told him.

“Oh, that will be fun! We’ll be the cool guys at the seminar!” Ray said with excitement.

_You (7:03 am):_

‘Have a good day’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (7:03 am):_

‘Face throwing a kiss emoji*

++++++

_You (10:00 am):_

‘On morning break’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:00 am):_

‘Patrick.’

‘You’re not going to BELIEVE who’s here’

_You (10:00 am):_

‘David’

‘YOU’RE not going to believe who’s HERE’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:00 am):_

‘Are you doing that thing where you tease me by copying me?’

_You (10:00 am):_

‘No’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:00 am):_

‘First, where is my photo of you and Ray?’

_You (10:01 am):_

*Patrick sent David a selfie of three people. Patrick, Ray, and their table mate. Ken.”

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:01 am):_

‘Is that who I think it is?’

_You (10:01 am):_

‘It is.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:01 am):_

‘Was that planned?’

_You (10:01 am):_

‘Sitting with us? Yes.’

‘Knowing he was going to be here? No.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:02 am):_

‘He sitting next to you?’

_You (10:02 am):_

‘Yes’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:02 am):_

‘Is he flirting?’

_You (10:02 am):_

‘No.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:02 am):_

‘You wouldn’t know if he was.’

_You (10:03 am):_

‘Yes I would.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:03 am):_

‘Are you flirting with him?’

_You (10:03 am):_

‘God no’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:03 am):_

‘My sweet boyfriend. Just by existing you are flirting with people who are attracted to you.’ *Person shrugging emoji*

_You (10:03 am):_

‘What person did you want to tell me about?’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:04 am):_

‘People’

_You (10:04 am):_

‘Who?’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:04 am):_

‘First – Wendy.’

_You (10:04 am):_

‘Who’s Wendy?’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:04 am):_

‘Blouse Barn Wendy’

_You (10:04 am):_

‘OMG that’s cool!’

‘I bet you were excited to see her!’

‘How’s she doing?’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:05 am):_

‘She’s a mess. Still.’

_You (10:05 am):_

‘Be gentle with her. She’s the reason we have the store.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:05 am):_

‘Let’s not go overboard.’

_You (10:05 am):_

‘David if she hadn’t given you that money, you’d not have taken the step to start the store.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:05 am):_

‘If I hadn’t navigated the settlement, she wouldn’t have had money to give me.’

_You (10:06 am):_

‘I’m not taking away your accomplishments by saying she played a role.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:06 am):_

‘A role.’

_You (10:06 am):_

‘A pretty big role.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:06 am):_

‘K. Whatever.’

_You (10:06 am):_

‘Who else is there?’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:07 am):_

‘This guy.’

*David sent Patrick a photo he’d stealthily taken of Antonio, Wendy’s business partner*

_You (10:07 am):_

‘Is that who I think it is?’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:07 am):_

*GIF of Pam from the office saying ‘Yup’*

_You (10:07 am):_

‘What’s he doing there?’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:07 am):_

‘Wendy’s business partner’

_You (10:08 am):_

‘That seems odd.’

‘Does it seem odd?’

‘It feels odd’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:08 am):_

‘It gets better.’

_You (10:08 am):_

‘How?’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:08 am):_

*David sent Patrick a photo he had taken of Wendy and Antonio’s booth*

_You (10:08 am):_

*Astonished face emoji*

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:09 am):_

‘Exactly’

_You (10:09 am):_

‘Is that what he was doing in the store? Copying inventory? The logo?’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:09 am):_

‘And apparently me.’

_You (10:09 am):_

‘Is he hitting on you?’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:09 am):_

*GIF of woman in blue doing a spit take*

_You (10:10 am):_

‘Yeah. I get it.’

‘Hey. Break’s almost over.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:10 am):_

‘I’ll tell you about it later

‘Get back to your seminar’

_You (10:10 am):_

‘Have a good day’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:10 am):_

‘Massage tonight.’

‘Don’t forget’

_You (10:11 am):_

‘I won’t forget’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:11 am):_

‘This should do it’

David opened their shared calendar and added an appointment for 8 pm.

“PB provide deeply sensual massage to DR”

The calendar sent a reminder to Patrick’s phone

*8:00 pm: PB provide deeply sensual massage to DR*

_You (10:12 am):_

‘Got it.’

‘Deeply sensual.’ *Eggplant emoji* *Winking face emoji*

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:12 am):_

‘Just nothing remotely sensual while you’re sitting next to the handsy little man who Frenched you in the parking lot of the Chick-fil-A.’

_You (10:12 am):_

*Rolling on the floor laughing*

‘I promise.’

_My Totally Sane Boyfriend (10:12 am):_

*Face throwing a kiss emoji*

++++++

That morning, when Ray and Patrick walked into the Cedar Grove Inn, they found the conference room. They signed in, stuck their nametags to their chests and went in search of a couple of seats.

Ray spotted the morning refreshment table first, and walked away from Patrick to inspect it before they sat.

“Patrick,” He knew that voice. He knew who it was before he turned and saw Ken walking toward him with a large smile. Hand extended for a greeting.

“Hey, Ken,” Patrick shook his hand. “How ya doin’?”

“I’m good. I didn’t know you would be here today.” Ken dug his hands into the pockets of his slacks.

“Patrick, they have hot tea. I got one for you.” Ray handed Patrick a cup. Patrick whispered a thank you as he took it.

“Hey, Ray. This is… umm… Ken. A friend of mine.” Patrick introduced them. “Ken, this is Ray. I do some part-time work for Ray.”

“We used to live together.” Ray said with a smile as he shook Ken’s hand.

“Oh, I see. Nice to meet you, Ray,” Ken said kindly.

“Well… not like….” Patrick decided to just let it go.

“Listen, there are a few seats left at my table. You guys are welcome to join me.” Ken pointed toward a table and walked toward it.

Ray and Patrick followed him.

Patrick settled in the seat beside Ken. Ray put his things on the other side of Patrick, then declared, “I see a friend from my realtor group. I’m going to go say hi.” And Ray went off to work the room.

“So… David must be very understanding if you still work with Ray,” Ken said with a smile.

“I rented a room from him when I first moved to Schitt’s Creek.” Patrick clarified. “That’s what he meant.”

“I kind of figured?” Ken nodded and squinted his eyes a little. “I mean… I remember the conversation we had… in… the…”

“In the parking lot. Yeah.” Patrick nodded.

They were quite for a moment.

“Ray sometimes doesn’t realize his choice of words come out like they do.” Patrick said. Then after a moment he added, “Or, maybe he does.” He chuckled.

The two of them fell into a relatively easy conversation. Sipping the tea Ray had given him, Patrick sat back and crossed one leg over the other. Listened to Ken talk about the grants that he’d recently submitted.

“Really appreciate the help you gave me,” Ken had told him.

Patrick and Ken had talked a few times. Emails and phone calls. Always during work hours. Patrick made sure to tell David about each communication, and David always listened and asked questions which always included, “Did he flirt with you?”

It felt good to help Ken with the grants. The more he’d helped him, the less he felt guilty about their parking lot encounter and botched “date.” And the more they talked, the more comfortable the conversation became. The parking lot kiss grew more distant. Patrick genuinely liked Ken. He was glad they were becoming, sort of, friends.

As the speakers for the tax seminar took their places at the front of the room, Ray made his way back to his seat.

“I’m so excited,” Ray said with raised shoulders as he looked from Patrick to Ken and clapped his hands quietly.

Patrick moved a hand to pat Ray’s back. And then they settled in and started to listen. 

++++++

He sat at the desk. Set the security camera video to the time when he and Stevie left the store.

Watched Ted bring in drinks.

Rolled his eyes as they started to make out. Watched her hop up on the table and destroy the display of products.

Watched them disappear into the office.

David glanced at the couch and shut his eyes. Imagined what they likely did there. What they did in _his_ space. His _private sanctuary._

He watched them come out of the office.

Watched them head toward the back room. Took note that Alexis pulled Ted behind her. David looked for the new camera angle. Watched them go into the restroom. Before the door shut, he confirmed the sink was in place.

When the restroom door opened again, the sink was on the floor.

_Fuck._

_Fucking Alexis._

David paced. Left the store. Locked up behind himself. Went to the café to get something… anything… to make himself feel better.

He sat at the counter. Ate a piece of chocolate cake. Drank a hot coffee.

As he ate, he sulked. This was _not_ his fault. It was _her_ fault.

Then he thought about Patrick.

He thought about all he and Patrick had been through during the restroom remodel. He thought about what _Patrick_ had been through with Ronnie.

Patrick was going to be pissed. And he wouldn’t be pissed at Alexis. Patrick _never_ shot his anger at Alexis. _Not. Ever._

No. He’d be angry at David.

He’d tell David it was his fault for not being patient and for not having the forethought to talk with Alexis about boundaries and expectations.

And then David’s anger shifted. He grew infuriated thinking about Patrick.

If Patrick had followed through with what he said he’d do, this whole incident with the bathroom would never have happened.

They both knew that Alexis would work harder, follow the rules, if Patrick talked to her. If she did anything for David, she behaved like it was an annoyance. She barely listened when he gave her the instructions.

Had Patrick told her, she’d have listened with rapt attention. She’d have followed every rule. Because Alexis didn’t want to disappoint Patrick.

But… Patrick hadn’t done what he said he’d do.

And… so there they were. Restroom sink pulled from the wall.

_Fuck._

_Fucking Patrick._

++++++

As he walked back to the Apothecary, his phone vibrated. He pulled it from his pocket and stopped in his tracks. Rolled his eyes. Sat down outside the store to talk to him.

_Ted (3:57 pm):_

‘Hey, buddy.’

_You (3:57 pm):_

‘Hi Ted.’

_Ted (3:57 pm):_

‘I have a sinking suspicion that you’re angry at me.’ *Winking face emoji*

_You (3:57 pm):_

‘Not mad at YOU.’

_Ted (3:58 pm):_

‘Don’t be upset at Alexis. I took her in there.’ *Red heart emoji*

_You (3:58 pm):_

‘There’s security footage, Ted. I know who led the way.’

_Ted (3:58 pm):_

*Astonished face emoji* ‘Security footage in the restroom?’

_You (3:58 pm):_

‘No. In the store. I saw her lead you back there.’

_Ted (3:58 pm):_

‘Still. My fault for going.’

‘I’d like to pay for the damages.’

_You (3:59 pm):_

‘I’m sure Patrick has some sort of insurance on it.’

_Ted (3:59 pm):_

‘I don’t think there’s insurance for that sort of thing.’

_You (3:59 pm):_

‘Maybe he can just do a write off.’

_Ted (3:59 pm):_

‘David that’s not how it works.’

_You (3:59 pm):_

‘OK. Let me talk to Patrick and I’ll let you know.’

_Ted (4:00 pm):_

‘I am sorry.’

_You (4:00 pm):_

‘It’s OK Ted.’

_Ted (4:00 pm):_

‘Also, we had sex in your office.’

_You (4:00 pm):_

‘Didn’t need to know that.’

_Ted (4:00 pm):_

‘We made out on the display table.’

_You (4:01 pm):_

‘Please don’t tell me more’

_Ted (4:01 pm):_

‘I don’t want our relationship to have any lies.’

_You (4:01 pm):_

‘That’s generous of you.’

_Ted (4:01 pm):_

‘I also ate one of the protein bars I saw on the counter in the office.’

_You (4:01 pm):_

‘Those are Patrick’s. He won’t care.’

_Ted (4:02 pm):_

‘Alexis gave me a lip balm because she said my lips were dry’

_You (4:02 pm):_

‘Is there anything else, Ted? I need to close out the register.’

_Ted (4:02 pm):_

‘No. I think that’s about it.’

_You (4:02 pm):_

‘Have a good evening, Ted.’

_Ted (4:02 pm):_

‘Thanks David. Sorry about everything.’

_You (4:03 pm):_

‘It’s OK, Ted.’

_Ted (4:03 pm):_

*Thumbs up emoji*

_You (4:03 pm):_

*Thumbs up emoji*

_Fuck._

_Fucking Ted._

++++++

David set about running the end of the day register receipts, even though she sold nothing.

 _Absolutely. Nothing_.

He took the drawer into the office and set it on the desk with the receipts from the flea market, where he made a _fucking killing_. He then went into the store to straighten up the mess on the tables.

He thought about everything they’d done in his store. He felt violated. His space was violated. His trust was violated.

_Fuck_.

He was furious and having trouble because his anger had landed on more than one person. Alexis. Ted… Patrick. And there was nothing he could do about it because telling off any of them would end up making David look bad. Make him feel worse than he already did.

Alexis would say she was there to help him. Ted was… well, he was Ted. And Patrick? He worked so hard.

Each person was protected from is wrath.

But he was furious with each.

As he placed the last bottle into its correct position on the table, one of those persons had the unfortunate timing of appearing.

Patrick unlocked the door and walked into the store. David adjusted the last bottle, scooted it a half a centimeter to the left. Proving to Patrick that David was working long after he should have been.

He shot a scathing look at Patrick and turned to go into the office.

Once there, he sat at the desk and began to run the numbers for the deposit. Never looking up. Never speaking.

Patrick, having spotted David’s ire long before he entered the store, had felt the urge to turn around and walk away before entering. But responsibility got the better of him and he entered.

When they’d texted multiple times during the day, David seemed in good spirits. A forgiving mood. Flirtatious, even. But when Patrick had shot him a text when they were in the car and on the way home, David had not responded. Patrick had thought that maybe he was just busy. Now, he knew better. Something had happened to change his mood.

David’s glare and refusal to greet him didn’t set well with Patrick. Sure, he knew that he messed up by forgetting to talk with Alexis, but he had thought David had moved past it. And, besides that, wasn’t he allowed a mistake every now and then? Was he expected to be perfect every time?

Tamping down his anger at David, Patrick followed him into the office. Dropped his messenger bag in the chair facing the desk. He went into the kitchenette to get a snack.

He was puzzled as he looked at the shelf near the refrigerator.

“Did you eat my protein bar?” He asked David.

Head bent low over the task of adding numbers, David didn’t answer him.

“David? Did you eat my protein bar?” He asked again.

David rolled his eyes, continued to add numbers. “When, in all the time you’ve known me, have I eaten a protein bar?”

“I had one here. It’s gone.” Patrick told him.

Patrick pulled a soda from the refrigerator.

“How’d we do today?” Patrick asked him, trying to sound casual as if there wasn’t an elephant sitting in the middle of the room.

“We did well at the flea market. We didn’t have any sales here.” David told him.

Patrick popped the top of his soda and took a sip. “No customers here at all today?”

“I didn’t say that,” David told him. “It is _entirely possible_ that we had customers who came in and couldn’t find anyone to help them…so they may have just _carted off_ whatever they wanted.” David waived his hand in the direction of the storefront.

Patrick moved to the couch. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” David added the numbers again. He fucking hated when they didn’t add up. He knew he was missing something.

 _Fucking Patrick_. He was making it hard to concentrate.

When he sat down on the couch, he noticed something on the sheet. There, beside him. “Jesus, David. Did you masturbate over here and not clean up?” Patrick asked him. A reaction to what he saw. The moment it came out of his mouth, he regretted it.

David dropped his pencil. Tilted his head. “What the fuck are you talking about? No, I didn’t masturbate in here. Why would I _masturbate_ in here?” His voice loud with anger at the accusation.

Patrick stood and pointed at the couch seat.

David walked near the couch. Bent down and looked. Hand over his mouth, he stifled a gag.

“Fucking Alexis!” David angrily pulled at the sheet, balling it up. Stuffed it into his bag.

He sat back down at the desk and tried. He _really tried_ to run the numbers.

Patrick pulled a fresh sheet out of the cabinet and draped it over the couch. Then said, “How about I go do the floors. Empty the trash?”

David ignored him. Began to run the numbers for a third time.

David refusing to speak to him, annoyed Patrick. He tamped down his anger as he left the office.

With Patrick out of the room, David was easily able to concentrate.

Patrick went to the back room to get the dust mop. Ran it over the floor. When that job was done, he began to collect the trash. He first went into the office. Then the bin under the register. Both empty.

Then, he went check the restroom trash can.

David sat back in his chair and waited to hear the reaction.

“What the _FUCK_?!” Patrick’s voice boomed through the store and reverberated off the windows.

David locked the deposit in the safe. Heard Patrick stomping through the store on the way to the office.

When David turned, Patrick was standing in the doorway between store and office.

“David, have you seen the restroom?” Patrick pointed behind himself.

“I have,” David tugged at the hem of his sweatshirt.

“What _the hell_ happened?” Patrick’s voice was angry. Demanding. Unforgiving.

Maybe if Patrick had been calm. Maybe if he hadn’t sounded accusatory. Maybe… if he would have approached it in a collaborative way, David would have reacted differently.

But David had held it in.

He’d tried. He’d _truly tried_.

He’d had patience. Understanding. _Grace_ … he’d shown grace to Patrick all day long.

And in that moment, he was receiving nothing but anger in return.

David moved to the desk. Silently put everything in its place. Picked up his bag. Moved to stand in front of Patrick.

In a calm and quiet voice, he told Patrick, “ _Alexis_ happened. And Alexis _happened_ because she didn’t have time with _you_ to prepare her, to remind her how to … _do this_.” David waved his hand in a circle in the direction of the store.

“So, the sink… that’s _my_ fault?” Patrick asked him. Again, pointing his finger in the direction of the restroom. His face red. His voice loud.

“I’m not assigning blame. But I _am_ telling you that _you_ will call Ronnie… _today_ … and arrange to have it fixed _as soon as possible_.” David walked past Patrick and moved around the counter as he headed to the door.

“Wait. _I’m_ supposed to call Ronnie? Me? David… for god's sake it’s _Ronnie_. Can’t _you_ call her?” Patrick asked him.

David opened the door and turned back to look at Patrick. “Today, Patrick. Call her today. I want that thing fixed by Monday. I don’t care how much it costs.”

And then David left the store.

++++++

Patrick sat on the couch.

There was no way. _No way_ he was going to call Ronnie. He couldn’t. Not after the tile incident. And certainly not after the championship game.

He moved to the desk and opened the computer and began a search for people in the area.

He began to make calls. A stranger would be better than Ronnie.

Hell… _Anyone_ would be better than Ronnie.

++++++

That night, David went to bed early. Frustrated. Angry.

Angry at his sister, to whom he’d refuse to speak if she weren’t M.I.A. She hadn’t shown her face at the motel and he knew she was in hiding at Ted’s.

Angry at Ted for having very poor judgment and virtually no backbone when it came to the whims of Alexis.

Angry at Patrick for slacking in the first place. Sure, he didn’t do it often, but this was a _massive error_ on his part and David didn’t like it when Patrick didn’t do what he said he would do.

Angry at himself. Because he knew that he should be more understanding with Patrick. If he were honest, he’d tell you that in all the time he’d known Patrick, he had never once not followed through on something he said he would do.

That was it, really. That was why this incident really hit David; angered him so. He didn’t want to ever question if Patrick would be a man of his word. He wanted to always know… always trust… that if Patrick said he would do something, that he would do it.

David took a long, hot shower. Let the water run over him until it began to lose heat. He spent time moisturizing. Taking each step slowly. Hoping it would soothe his soul. He wore his most comfortable and cozy sweatshirt and sleep pants.

He settled into his bed and checked his phone, assuming he’d have an apology text from Patrick that he fully planned to ignore.

There was no text.

He pulled his pillow over his head. Forced his brain to clear so he could sleep.

++++++

He sat with his parents at the café for their regular, Sunday Rose Family brunch. His sister, nowhere in sight. Obviously.

He sipped on his bloody Mary. As always, it could be stronger. Have a bit more bite. He ate his eggs. Slowly chewed his toast.

His parents chatted on and on about some sort of cat incident. David only half listened. “Mmhmm. Mmhmm. Oh. Hmm.”

His Dad held the door open for his mother. David stepped out of the café behind them. He saw Patrick’s car and a truck parked in front of the store. David knew it wasn’t Ronnie’s truck, but he’d seen it before.

His heart beat stopped for a brief moment.

 _Surely not._ He thought. _Surely, the fuck, not._

“David, are you coming?” His mother asked him. They had walked away from him. Walking toward home.

David shook his head. Held his hand out to his mother. Waved. “No. No, I need to run to the store for a bit. You go ahead.”

Without looking both ways, David stepped out into the street toward the store. A car drove by him. Honked its horn to warn David. He took a step back. His heart pounded in his ears.

He looked both ways, crossed the street. His eyes on the truck.

He stood outside the store and waited. Closed his eyes.

 _Surely, he didn’t._ David thought.

The front door was unlocked. David stepped in; held his breath. The bell announced his arrival. His eyes quickly scanned the room.

He saw nobody in the store. The light was on in the office. David walked slowly around the register. Scared to look into the office.

Patrick sat at the desk working on something. Some paperwork or something. For the store? For Ray? It made no difference to David.

Patrick looked at up at David. His face showed no expression. Blank. Unemotional.  
  
Their eyes locked.

“Who’s here working on the restroom?” David asked quietly.

“David. Hey.” Came the voice behind him.

David knew the voice without even looking. He turned slowly. Looked at him. David’s eyes scanned him from head to toe.

“Hi… Toby.” David said. Holding everything he _wanted_ to say.

Toby. _Toby the mother-fucking-umpire_.

“Just gonna run out to my truck and get the rest of my tools. Just be a minute.” Toby said with a cheerful voice. The bell above the door announced his departure.

David turned. Locked eyes with Patrick, again.

He shook his head. Pain in his voice. “Patrick. What did you do?”

“I called the _one person_ who would come out on a Sunday.” He tossed his pen down on the desk and leaned back in his chair. “You _demanded_ it be fixed by Monday.”

“At what cost?” David waved his hand between them.

“You said you didn’t care what it cost.” Patrick rebutted.

“I meant money… Patrick. I meant…”

The bell rang over the door as Toby came into the store.

“How’ve you been, David?” He asked as though a million aggressions had not occurred between them over the months since Toby had entered their lives.

“Good,” David nodded. “Thanks for… coming on short notice.” David tried to sound professional. Mature. Inside, he was seething.

“No problem. You know me… _anything for Patrick_.” Toby winked at David and then disappeared through the doorway that led to the restroom.

David turned back to Patrick whose eyes met David’s defiantly.

“You have fun with this mess you’ve just created.” David told him.

“Come on, David. It’s not that bad.” Patrick stood. Hands on his waist.

“Have you just forgotten all of it?” David asked him.

“You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill,” Patrick said.

To David, Patrick’s words and tone could not have been more condescending.

David stood a little straighter. His shoulders back. His chin up. “I have an appointment in the morning. I won’t be here until Noon. I’ll work the afternoon shift.”

“OK. See you then.” Patrick sat down and bent over his paperwork.

“No, you won’t. You will be gone from here at Noon. I don’t want to see you.” David told him.

“Understood,” Patrick nodded. Matched David’s glare.

David’s voice broke as he whispered, “Patrick. I can’t believe we’re here.”

“Where’s that, David?” Snark dripped from Patrick’s voice.

“The place where you intentionally hurt me, Patrick. I’m so… I’m so _fucking disappointed_ in you.” David said through tears before turning and walking away.

++++++

He had. He had intentionally chosen Toby. He tried to rationalize it when he made the call. Toby or Ronnie? For Patrick, he’d rather deal with someone who liked him too much than someone who despised him.

Yeah, he’d thought about the past. All that Toby had done over the past year. Knew that David wouldn’t like it. But Patrick figured if he had Toby in and out of the store on a Sunday, David would never know.

But he’d not thought about the Rose Family Brunch. Or had he.

If he were being honest with you, really honest? He’d admit that he scheduled Toby to arrive when he did.

Toby had offered to come early. In by 6 am and likely done before 9 am. As an early riser, Patrick could have made that happen. 

But it was Patrick who asked him to come later in the morning. Patrick had told him that he’d been having some late nights and would like to sleep in a bit. It was Patrick who asked him to arrive after 11.

He knew if David found out, he’d be furious. Patrick kind of wanted David to be furious. He was pissed that David had put the whole thing back onto Patrick, when David knew how busy he was. And he was hurt and irate that David would suggest that Patrick go back to Ronnie, tail between his legs, to ask her to come to the store and work on a weekend.

If he were to do that? She would eat him alive and laugh at him while she did it.

And so, Patrick had made a series of unfortunate, yet very determined decisions with consequences the likes of which he hadn’t fully contemplated… until that moment.

Patrick stood at the front window of the store and watched David march across the street. Headed home.

The words reverberated through his mind.

 _I’m so fucking disappointed in you_.

The words hit him like ice water to the face.

Sure. He was mad at David. Hurt by David’s demands. But to hear that he’d disappointed him? That cut deep.

Throughout his entire life, if there was one thing Patrick worked hard at, it was to not disappoint others. It was a Brewer Family mantra, really. Never behave in a way that would disappoint anyone. Specifically, those who depend on you. Those who trust you.

His heart ached as he watched David turn the corner around the café and leave Patrick’s sight.

He felt Toby’s hand on his shoulder. He felt Toby squeeze him in an attempt to console him. “Trouble in paradise?”

Patrick took a step to the side. A step away from Toby.

“Toby, please. Just fix the fucking sink.”

+++

End part 1 of 2

+++


	25. The Collapse: Part 2 of 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fresh off a major fight, David finds himself angry and at the motel where Stevie tries to reason with him. Patrick and David spend the week apart. Both lost in their own thoughts. Both expecting the other to be the first to extend the first olive branch. Meanwhile Stevie is working to ensure they make up before Patrick's birthday is ruined. In the end, they do as David and Patrick do - they land softly in one another's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 2 of 2 chapters that focus on episode 5.10. (This chapter focuses on AFTER 5.10). 
> 
> *****SPOILER ALERT ******
> 
> If you are not concerned about being triggered by anything in this chapter, but you are concerned about spoiling what happens in the chapter, do not read the warning below. 
> 
> *****WARNING*****
> 
> David has nightmares throughout this chapter. Nightmares include cheating, violence, sexual assault.
> 
> ***END WARNING***
> 
> +++
> 
> A NOTE ABOUT THERAPY:  
> I've said before and I'll mention it again here - It is not my intention to dive deep into David's therapeutic process. I don't plan to ever sit in therapy with David and talk through each step of his journey. But I do want to mention something here. In this chapter, I do approach David withholding information from his therapist. He does it as a protection mechanism (Protecting himself? Protecting Patrick? From what he might learn from his therapist if he were honest with her). I am showing this experience because it is a normal reaction by people who see a therapist. I, of course, am writing this note to encourage you to not withhold pertinent information in your own therapeutic process. Only through full honesty and openness can real work occur with you and your therapist. 
> 
> +++
> 
> The next set of chapters are all underway and I'm enjoying every moment I spend on them. But I need them to be just right before they are posted. I'm going to need some time with them so they will be exactly right. It is likely I won't post for a couple of weeks, since they are a grouping of chapters and I want to be sure that once I start posting them, there won't be long waits between chapters. I hope this makes sense to you. Thank you for understanding. 
> 
> As for this chapter - I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> PD
> 
> +++

++++++

It was Sunday evening and she was locking up for the night. When Stevie stepped out of the office, she spotted him at the soda machine. He was shaking it. Kicking it.

“Hey. Hey. Be careful.” She walked over to him. Could see he was angry.

“Fucking dumpster of a machine. It took my last quarter.” David kicked the machine again. Instantly regretting it as pain shot through his foot and up his leg.

He was angry. He’d left Patrick earlier that day alone at the store with that fucking umpire. He had walked home and gone to bed. When he woke it was dark out and he was hungry. He’d stolen two of the yogurts that Alexis had hidden in the bottom of the mini-fridge in his parent’s room and he really wanted a soda.

Stevie reached for her keys. Unlocked the machine. Opened it up. Motioned with her hand for David to choose his beverage of choice.

David pulled a soda out of the machine. Looked at Stevie and stuck his hand in again to pull out another.

“Is that for me?” She asked him.

“No,” he shook his head and walked away from her. Went to his room and shut the door behind himself.

She pulled a soda out for herself, locked the machine and then went to his room where she let herself in.

++++++

“I don’t care. You can’t cancel it.” Her voice was adamant.

“I can, and I will. I’m going to call his parents and tell them.” David challenged her.

“No, you’re not. Give it some time.” She moved, then, from sitting at the table to sitting beside him on his bed.

“We aren’t going to bounce back from this,” David shook his head. “We just aren’t.”

“David. The two of you have been together almost a year. You’ve had, what… one big fight?” She sipped her soda. Tried to be casual. Inside, her stomach hurt. They couldn’t break up. After all the time that had passed, she couldn’t _imagine_ David without Patrick.

“I don’t know. A couple times, maybe.” David shrugged. “Rachel. We fought about him having a … _Rachel_.”

“That was last summer. You’ve gone months. _Months_ … David. It’s just a fight. Give it time. Don’t make a rash decision about the party.” Stevie told him. “You cancel it, then you have to explain to his parents… and you don’t need parents wrapped up in a quarrel.”

David sat quietly for several moments. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “Stevie. He hurt me. He… _intentionally_ … asked _that man_ into our store. Into our lives.”

“You asked him to call Ronnie, David.” Stevie countered. “ _Ronnie_ … of all people.”

“It’s _her_ bathroom. She’s the one who did it. It’s hers to fix if she wants.” David argued.

“Then why didn’t _you_ call her?” Stevie pushed back.

If you’d have told her a year ago that she’d be taking Patrick’s side in a fight, she’d have told you that you were full of shit. But as she saw it, her best friend played a major role in this mess. And Stevie would always… _always_ … call David on his shit.

“Because I wanted him to be inconvenienced as much as he’s inconvenienced me.” David admitted.

“So, what you’re saying is that you intentionally hurt him.” Stevie summarized.

“Don’t you have someplace else you need to be?” David whispered.

Stevie stood. Moved to the door. “Just don’t make a decision in the next few days. Think about it at the end of the week. Party isn’t for a couple of weeks. If you still feel this way next Sunday there will be plenty of time to cancel.”

++++++

The nightmares started that first night.

But really, who was he kidding? He’d been having nightmares quite regularly for weeks. Going on months.

That first night, it was the same one. The one that he’d had multiple times since therapy started. He was blindfolded. Gagged. Assaulted over and over… and over again.

He shouldn’t be, but he was used to it. He had learned to wake himself up. But once awake, he couldn’t get back to sleep until it was nearly dawn.

++++++

Monday morning, he had therapy. She’d asked him how he was doing. Clearly, she could read on his face that he was disturbed about something. He lied to her. He was fine, he said. Just fine. _Mostly_ fine.

He threw her off the track she was headed down. She had told him that she could see he looked terribly upset. The tone of his voice told her something was wrong. What could be upsetting him so?

“It must be the nightmares. I’m not sleeping well.” He told her.

So, they dissected the nightmare, again. And he didn’t have to tell her about what he’d done to Patrick. What Patrick had done to him. He didn’t want her in his relationship with Patrick. She would likely call out David’s behavior. Worse, she might call out Patrick’s behavior.

He wasn’t ready for that.

++++++

After getting his post-therapy ice cream cone in Elmdale, he headed back to the Apothecary.

When he unlocked the store, he was slightly disappointed. Locked meant that Patrick was gone.

True, he’d told Patrick he had to leave. But he thought maybe Patrick would be stubborn enough to be there. Stubborn enough to fight David about his request to be alone. Maybe even apologize.

He acknowledged to himself that if Patrick would have been there, David would have been angry with him. But… yeah. He was disappointed he didn’t see Patrick.

As he made his way around the counter, he anticipated what he might find on the desk. A note of apology? Some sort of olive branch? Like a cup of coffee? A muffin?  
  
He stopped in his tracks as he noticed the desk. Clean. Nothing on it but the computer and the files that he knew Patrick had left there.

He walked over to the kitchenette counter. Nothing. Went out by the register. Looked at the cabinet under it. Nothing. Nothing from Patrick.

++++++

Patrick left the store at 11:45. Locked it up and headed home.

Once there, he changed clothes. Went for a hike.

When he sat down at the end of the trail, he looked down over the trees. He looked up at the sky.

He took a long deep breath. In through the nose. He exhaled slowly. He was weary. Sapped. Tired. He hadn’t slept a wink the night before. His mind couldn’t stop hearing David’s words.

_I’m so fucking disappointed in you._

He pulled the blanket out of his backpack. Set his backpack against the rock and used it as a pillow. He stretched out on his back. Felt the warmth of the rock beneath him. Spread his arms to feel the warmth of the sun beat down on him. His eyelids grew heavy.

His mind, thick with the cloud of exhaustion, began to slow. And free from any ounce of responsibility for the first time in months, phone silent because he was out of the service area, Patrick took a nap.

++++++

Alexis went home Monday night. When she stepped into the room, she eyed her brother who said nothing to her.

He simply rolled over to face the wall. His back to his sister. Pillow over his head. Exhausted, he fell to sleep.

++++++

He was in the store. Trapped behind the counter. Sebastien standing between him and the door. He tried to get around him. He couldn’t.

The door swung open. There he stood. Patrick. Patrick in a Café Tropical baseball costume.

“Patrick. Help me.” David cried. “Help me, please.”

Patrick tugged on the bill of his hat. Nodded his head in a greeting. Walked briskly toward the back of the store. Disappeared around the corner.

Sebastien pressed in on David. Pushed him against the wall. The business license fell to the floor. Glass shattered around his feet.

“Patrick! He’s hurting me! Help me! Patrick!” David called to him.

Patrick returned to the room. David was relieved to see him.

But Patrick didn’t move to help him. Didn’t move to pull Sebastien off of him.

Toby, in his referee uniform, emerged from the back room. He walked a few steps behind Patrick as they both strode to the front door.

Patrick opened the door, looked at David, tugged on his ball cap and left.

Toby looked at David and told him, not for the first time, “He’s too good for you. You know that, don’t you?” Then Toby followed Patrick out of the Apothecary.

Sebastien began to tear at David’s clothes.

“Patrick! Please! Help me, Patrick!” he called.

His sister woke him. Flicked cool water on his face.

When he sat up. Heart pounding. She said nothing. She went back to her bed. Rolled onto her side, facing away from her brother. She went back to sleep.

David stayed up. Awake. Not able to sleep. Afraid to sleep.

He scrolled through his phone and found a podcast he could listen to. Put on his headphones. Sat up so he wouldn’t go back to sleep.

As light began to dawn, he rolled to his side. Set his alarm for 11:00 am. Covered his head and safely went to sleep.

++++++

When he neared the store, he saw Patrick inside. He stood on the sidewalk and looked in. Realized there were customers. Several of them.

He knew Patrick would never kick anyone out in order to leave on time.

David entered the store. Refused to make eye contact or greet Patrick who was standing behind the counter at the register.

He did see the customers. Knew all of them. Greeted them warmly. Talked with them briefly.

He scooted around Patrick to put his bag in the office. When he emerged from the office, Patrick was gone.

++++++

When Patrick returned to his apartment, he changed clothes. He drove to his gym in Elmdale. Spent an uninterrupted hour and a half working out.

He hadn’t been able to run on a treadmill for weeks. He took his time. He lifted weights. Did lunges. Stretched. It felt good. While exercising, he counted. And when he was counting, his mind was not perseverating on it.

When he left the gym, he walked across the parking lot to the barber. Sat and waited for an opening. A fresh haircut. _Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll take the shave, too._

Leaned back in the chair. Hot, moist towel steaming on his face. His mind went back there. To seeing David standing in the doorway of the office. _I’m so fucking disappointed in you._

++++++

David hadn’t wanted to go to sleep. He knew there would be more nightmares. He had stayed up as late as he could so he could sleep. He was exhausted. Drained. He finally lay back on his bed and was immediately out like a light.

++++++

He walked into the Apothecary. It was unlocked. Bob and Gwen stood at the register, impatiently waiting to be checked out. Somehow the tables were gone from the middle of the store. It was empty there. He was confused.

He quickly moved to the register. Checked out Bob and Gwen. Bob wore the dirty coveralls he wore when he worked on cars across the street. Gwen wore a black rubber dress.

He watched them leave and a noise drew his attention.

There was a bed in the middle of the store. A bed where the tables normally stood. The bed from Patrick’s room at Ray’s.

Patrick was on it. He wasn’t alone.

He was fucking someone. Someone small. David moved closer to the bed. As he moved closer, he saw them more clearly.

Patrick was fucking Ken. Ken was on his back. Legs up over Patrick’s shoulders. On Ken’s feet were shoes that were long and pointy, but squared off at the toes.

Patrick didn’t look at David, his eyes were on Ken. But Ken turned his head and smiled at David. A big cheesy grin.  
  
From the bathroom, Ted emerged. Nude.

“Hey, Big Guy!” He said brightly and pointed at David before he crawled up on the bed and inserted his condom-less dick into Patrick’s ass.

The three of them. Fucking. On Patrick’s old bed. In the middle of the apothecary.

Just then the bell over the Apothecary door indicated someone had entered. David turned to find Ray standing there.

“Door open? Door closed?” Ray asked as he took a picture of the three men fucking on the bed in the middle of the store.

His sister shook his shoulders. “David. God! Wake up!”

Once he was awake, she went back to bed. She said nothing else to him.

He sat quietly in his bed. Headphones on. Listened to another podcast.

When the sun began to rise, he set his alarm and went back to sleep.

++++++

They carried on like that for the rest of the week. David arriving at the store around noon. Patrick being gone if he could. If there were customers, he stayed until David arrived, but he left without saying a word. Without making eye contact.

Patrick did the bare minimum at the store. If there were items that needed stocked, he of course did that. But there was no dusting. No additional cleaning. He saw no reason to go out of his way to make things easier for David, like he normally did. He took the previous day’s bank deposit with him when he left at noon, made the deposit on his way home. Other than that, he did nothing at the store.

It had been ages since he’d had that much time to himself. He’d hiked. Gone to the gym. Taken a run around town. But he’d also napped. God, it felt good to go home, strip down, lay in bed and just sleep. Though he wasn’t sleeping through the night, in the afternoons… in the light of day… he slept for hours and it felt _good_.

Patrick was troubled. He didn’t like that they weren’t talking. Didn’t like that he had disappointed David. Was angry with himself for purposely hurting him. And he was angry. Angry at David for not being more understanding. Patrick had, over the course of their time together, exercised the patience of Job with David. Was it too much to ask to have some in return?

Patrick was stubbornly resolute in his decision to not be the first to ask forgiveness. _This time,_ he thought. _This time, David can come to me._

He, of course, kept all of his commitments in the evening. Ball practice. Ball games. He saw David’s dad more than he saw David. Mr. Rose was clearly oblivious to the argument, and the fact that David and Patrick weren’t speaking.

Patrick also had rehearsal. Stevie watched him. He knew she knew. At rehearsal early in the week, Stevie sat near him. Asked, “You OK?”

Patrick nodded, “Just fine.” He’d be damned if he told her something that would get back to David.

Alexis eyed him at rehearsal as well, but he knew it was for a different reason. Normally flirty and playful with him, Alexis kept her distance. And, his appearance and behavior encouraged her to not try to talk to him.

In the past, regardless of her actions, Patrick was always there with a smile, a hug, a joke for Alexis. But the situation with which they were dealing was different. Though Patrick was coming to terms with the consequences of his own decisions, he was very aware that Alexis played a role in their situation. And though he could and would eventually forgive her, he wasn’t yet prepared to do so. And he didn’t want her to think she would easily be let off the hook.

++++++

 _Get a little, get a little_ _  
Money money money money...  
Mark, a yen, a buck or a pound,  
That clinking, clanking, clunking sound,  
Is all that makes the world go 'round,  
It makes the world go 'round!_

They stood near the piano and sang the song again. The fourth time that night.

Mrs. Rose seemed somewhat OK with their vocal performance and bid them adieu. Shooed them away so she and Jocelyn could discuss the following day’s rehearsal plans.

Patrick held the door for Stevie. They walked toward her car.

“Give you a ride?” She asked.

“I’m walking.” Patrick told her. Ready for a leisurely walk home in the night air.

“Get in the car, Patrick.” Stevie’s voice was stern.

He did as he was told.

She drove slowly across town toward Patrick’s apartment. They were both quiet.

Stevie broke the silence. “It’s been almost a week. You planning on talking to him any time soon?”

“Stevie, I’m not having this conversation with you.” Patrick kept his eyes focused on the road in front of them.

“It would appear you’re not having any conversation with _anyone_. Not him. Not Alexis. Not me.” Stevie boldly challenged him.

Patrick said nothing.

“Why did you call that asshole, Patrick?” Stevie asked him.

Patrick turned his whole body to look at her. “Does he tell you _everything_?”

“ _Yeah. He does_. Because that’s what best friends do.” She shot back at him.

Patrick sat back in his seat. Angry. Silent. Wondering what version of the events David had told her.

She waited for him to talk. When he didn’t, she said, “He should have called Ronnie himself. Or, found someone else. That was…”

“I said I’m not talking about this with you.” Patrick said again.

She reached Patrick’s apartment building but kept driving. She began to circle his block. She knew if she stopped the car, he’d likely get out. She was not done with him.

He made a noise of protest and pointed at his building as they passed his place.

She ignored him. “Listen. I’m on your side here. I’ve told him he was out of line. But you didn’t help things by bringing in… like… the _one person_ he hates the most around here.”

“What do you want from me?” Patrick asked.

“I’m trying to get him to talk to you. But you have to give him an opening, Patrick.” Stevie told him.

“You know what happened last time. I know you do. We fought. I apologized. I apologized every day for a week. With notes. With gifts. With songs.” Patrick told her.

“And you think he ignored them.” Stevie said.

“He _did_ ignore them, Stevie!” Patrick raised his voice in frustration. Then regained control of his emotions. “I’m not doing that this time.”

“So, you’re going to keep on like this? Until when?” Stevie asked him.

“I don’t know,” Patrick shrugged. “Until he comes to me.”

“Why?” She asked. “Why are you being so stubborn?”

Patrick shook his head. Thought for a moment. “I don’t know Stevie. I only know that I don’t want to set myself up to be the first to apologize every time we fight for the rest of our lives.”

“The rest of your lives?” She asked. Surprise in her voice.

“Yeah. I just… said that out loud.” Patrick mumbled to himself, regretting the words he had chosen.

She pulled up in front of his house. Parked the car.

Patrick sat still in his seat. They were both quiet.

“You keep on like this with neither of you breaking the silence? and there isn’t going to be a _rest of your lives_.” She warned him.

“I think I know him a little better than that, Stevie.” Patrick got out of the car and shut the door behind him.

++++++

David had entered the store hopeful each day. Hopeful for an olive branch from Patrick. He was confused and frustrated. Why hadn’t Patrick left anything for him? He looked every day for a small token of contrition. A coffee. A note. A flower. But he left nothing for him. Nothing.

When they’d been through their dark period early in their relationship, Patrick had driven himself crazy trying to get David’s attention. David had just assumed this would be a replay of that time. He was confused. He was hurt. Didn’t understand why Patrick wasn’t trying.

David was left to his own thoughts. His own anxieties. He came to the conclusion that Patrick must have thought that the relationship wasn’t worth fighting for. He began to seriously question himself. His decision to force Patrick into making the call to Ronnie to fix the sink Alexis broke.

His nightmares continued and became more bizarre each night.

++++++

They’d made it through the work week. By Friday afternoon, David was drained.

He was cleaning the restroom when he heard the jingle of the bell indicate that someone had entered the store. He rounded the corner, ready to help whoever came in.

“Hey,” she greeted him.

He had the dust mop in his hand and so he used it. Keeping his hands and eyes busy. “Hi, Stevie.”

Clearly, she was there to push him into action. He knew her. Knew what she was up to. She’d come to see him twice during the week. Twice since their little argument about Patrick’s party that night in his room at the motel.

She hoisted herself up on the counter by the register. Watched him in silence as he cleaned the floors that had already been cleaned.

When he neared her, she kicked her foot out. Kicked him in the ass.

“Hey,” David swatted at her foot.

“Go see him.” She said.

“He needs to apologize first,” David told her.

“Why?” Stevie asked him. A challenge.

“Because he let me down.” David said with a haughty voice.

“After you demanded perfection. And… demanded he call _Ronnie, of all people_!”

David was quiet. Continued to run the dust mop over the floor.

“Listen, David.” Stevie said. She waited. “Would you look at me, David?”

He was halfway across the store. He stopped cleaning and looked at her. Leaned against the basket display. “What?”

“You have one week. One, David. Then his parents will be here. You can drag this out or you can go see him tonight. Apologize. Listen to his apology. Move forward.”

“And… what if he doesn’t apologize back?” David asked her. Exposing his real worry.

“He’s Patrick. Of course, he’ll apologize.” Stevie didn’t hesitate to offer.

David’s eyes shifted to the side.

“You need to be in a good place when his parents get here.” Stevie told him.

“Why?” David challenged her.

Stevie slid off the counter. Landed with a thud on her feet. “You know why, David. Don’t be so fucking obtuse.”

She took her leave, pulling the door soundly shut behind her.

++++++

After he locked the door, he sat with a glass of red at the desk. He balanced the register easily. Stored the deposit in the safe. He moved to sit on the couch.

Soft instrumental music played in the store and drifted into the space where he sat. He was tired. So tired.

He rolled to his side and lay down. Stood back up and went out into the store. Double checked that the doors were locked. Retrieved an alpaca throw, one of the decorative pillows. Took them back to the office and lay back down.

He immediately fell to sleep.

++++++

When he awoke, he was disoriented. It was dark around him, and he knew he wasn’t at home. It took him a moment to realized he was at the store. Stiff from being folded up so that he fit on the small couch in the office. His muscles ached as he stretched. His phone told him it was nearly 8:30. He’d slept for over three hours.  
  
Standing on the front stoop, he locked the door to the store. His stomach rumbled. He walked to the café.

Twyla was getting ready to shut down, and would have told him that. But she took one look at his face and knew he needed somewhere to sit. Someone to feed him.

She told him the kitchen was closed, but she’d find something for him. She told him to sit wherever he wanted.

He sat in the back booth; faced away from the door. Twyla brought him a bowl of stew. A couple of rolls. A glass of iced tea.

“Sorry David. Warmed up stew is the best I can do.” She told him.

“Smells delicious, Twyla. Thank you.” He offered a half-hearted smile and began to eat the hearty meal she set in front of him.

He took his time. His mind never leaving Patrick.

David had met him only days after Patrick had moved to Schitt’s Creek. Patrick came to town just after his birthday the year prior. His birthday was just one week away.

Patrick had been in David’s life for nearly a year. A year. _A fucking year._

David thought about him. Thought about the past year.

_Sure. Sure. Give you more time to… oscillate_

_Ohhh… I’m gonna get the money._

_I watched a lot of YouTube tutorials…_

_I’m kinda piecing together it might be your birthday._

_Thank you… for… making that happen for us._

_Please. David. Kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it._

_But, given that we only have the apartment for one night. Maybe, it’s best if we… lock that box up for now._

_David. Did you change your name in my contacts again?_

_David. Stop. DAVID. STOP._

_You know, David. One of these days, you’re going to dance for me to this song._

_My boyfriend doesn’t like the shoes, so I’m going to take the shoes off._

_Hey, Toby. This is my boyfriend, David. David, this is Toby._

_Are you hungry, David?_

_Alright. Umm. I would like to dedicate this song… to… uh… a very special someone in my life. David Rose. There he is. Right there. That’s him. Can’t miss him._

_David, I’ve spent most of my life not knowing what right was supposed to feel like… and then I met you. And everything changed. You make me feel right, David._

_So… how long are we going to keep using condoms, David?_

_I would have done anything to be near you. Even if it was just working beside you._

_You’re a tease, David Rose._

_Look David. I’m not going to argue it. If you want to use your own money to purchase a cappuccino machine, then do it._

_No. No, Babe. It’s just a car. It can be replaced. I was so scared, David. I’ve never been so scared._

_Sebastien. Get your hands off my boyfriend and get the fuck out of my store…If I have to say it again, I will show you out._

_Merry Christmas, David._

_We’re gonna talk about the fact that we missed a half a day of work to make this happen? But you did just do a tree walk 30 feet in the air for us._

_I’m sorry David. Please don’t be mad._

_I think it’s time we look for an apartment._

_You’re not some sort of pervert, David. Let’s go see some cherry blossoms._

_I couldn’t do it. I don’t want to date Ken!_

_Nothing about that felt right. I did it… because I trusted you when you said… we were using the safe word._

_But you got me… And I get you…And you get me. I got you._

_Fine. Bullet journals are a valid and reliable way to track data._

_Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve had to change the sheet on this couch?_

_David, of course I’m worried. I love you._

_OH MY GOD! Run, David! RUN!_

_Wait. I’m supposed to call Ronnie? Me? David… for god’s sake it’s Ronnie. Can’t you call her?_

++++++

It had been nearly a year. Sure, there were a couple of bumps in the road. But, when he thought through it all he recognized, of course, that it was almost entirely perfect.

His heart beat loudly in his chest. He knew. Logically, he knew it was ridiculous that he was holding on to whatever anger he had over their fight. Whatever disappointment in Patrick that was lingering. Patrick had done nothing over the past year but work hard and love hard. Faithfully.

He thought about their last dark period. He thought about how much effort Patrick had put into making up with David only to be met with David’s silence. The texts. The gifts. The songs. The notes of love. David had looked forward to and cherished every one of them.

He acknowledged to himself that, this time, he had been waiting for those signs from Patrick. And he pondered how it helped him, back then, to start building trust in Patrick’s love for him.

And then he wondered if maybe Patrick was needing that from him. Needing him to show that he could make the first move. That he loved and needed Patrick more than he needed to be the one who was right.

+++++

Twyla busied herself behind the counter. Wiped it down more than once. Gave the menus a good cleaning. Sat on one of the stools at the counter and played a few rounds of Candy Crush on her phone.

It was something that Twyla sometimes did. Busied herself for an hour or so while one of her neighbors had some time to heal. Heal over a little food. Heal in a safe space. The safe haven they felt when in her presence at the café.

David carried his dirty dishes up to the counter. “Twyla, thank you.”

Twyla stood and dropped her phone into her apron pocket. Smiled at him. “You are _very_ welcome, David.”

When David reached for and pulled out his wallet, Twyla held out a hand. “The stew was on the house, David.”

David shook his head. Pulled money out of his wallet. “Thank you. But, no, Twyla. You can’t just go giving away food.”

“I can and I will,” Twyla said with a smile as she pushed his offer to pay away. “I hope you have a better day tomorrow.”

David nodded. Smiled at her. Whispered, “Thank you.” And then he left the café.

David turned to head toward the motel and he stopped.  
  
 _Someone has to make the first move._ He thought. His heart beat loudly in his chest.  
  
 _Someone has to be the first to extend the olive branch._

_Patrick needs it to be me._

_I need it to be me._

++++++

David knew he looked less than perfect. And having gone nearly a week without really seeing Patrick, he would have liked to look better. Smell better.

But that’s not what this was about. Someone had to start this thing. And this time, it might as well be David.

Time to extend the fucking olive branch.

He mustered all of his inner strength and he knocked on Patrick’s door.

++++++

It was late. After 10 anyway. He was lying on his bed, naked. Reading a book. Or, rather, staring at the pages of a book. Pages he’d stared at all night.

The knock at the door surprised him. He walked over to the bathroom door to pull his robe down off the hook. He tied the belt as he walked toward the door.

Surprised to see David standing on the other side of his threshold, Patrick had to take a moment, because his heart had jumped right out of his chest. 

David. Disheveled. Eyes bloodshot with dark circles under them.

“You OK?” Patrick asked him. A worried look on his face.

David shook his head. Whispered, “No.”

Patrick took a step back. Opened his arm in a sweep, indicating David should come in. David stepped in, but didn’t commit to fully entering. Stepped in just far enough so Patrick could shut the door.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Patrick eyes locked on David’s face. Trailed down his body to do a quick check. Back to his face. “What’s the matter? What’s wrong?” Patrick knew. He knew David well enough to know that David wasn’t getting the sleep he needed. Patrick hadn’t been either.

David’s voice cracked when he began to speak. He paused. Coughed. Tried again. “I know we’re not… speaking right now? But it’s… I’m having trouble getting sleep. And… Alexis is complaining about having to deal with my nightmares every night.”

“Stay here.” Patrick said without hesitating. He pointed over his shoulder with his thumb; pointed toward the bed. Olive branch extended.

“I’ll sleep on the couch.” David told him. Tilted his head in the direction of the small love-seat sized couch.

Patrick shook his head. Reached out to take David’s bag from him. “No. Sleep in the bed with me. We could both use it. I’m not sleeping well either.”

“I know you’re going to say we need to talk? I just can’t right now, Patrick.” David said, his voice cracking again. He shook his head. “I _don’t want to_ right now.”

Patrick set David’s bag on the floor and moved slowly toward David. Standing close in front of him, locking eyes with him, he cautiously placed his right hand on David’s waist.

David’s hand hesitantly rested on Patrick’s chest.

Patrick’s breath caught in his chest. He gently lay his left hand over David’s.

“Do want some food? Have you eaten?” Patrick asked him. Olive branch.

Shaking his head, David told him, “Just came from the café.”

“Come on.” Patrick’s hand on David’s waist pulled at him. His head indicated that they should go to bed.

“Can I shower? I really want a hot shower.” David said.

“Of course,” Patrick told him. “Want some wine or something? Help you relax?” Olive branch.

“Please.” A slight, nearly imperceptible nod from David.

While David took his bag to the dresser and kicked off his shoes, Patrick set about pouring David a glass of red.

Patrick met him near the bathroom. Handed him the glass.  
  
“Thank you,” David whispered. His eyes averted.

Patrick cupped the side of David’s face. David’s eyes met his.

“I owe you a massage. Want one after the shower?” Patrick asked. Olive branch.

“That sounds nice. If you want to.” David nodded.

“OK.” Patrick stepped away so David could go and take his shower.

Before he shut the bathroom door, David stopped. Felt the need to clarify. “Um… I didn’t come here for sex.”

“OK.” Patrick nodded. Brows furrowed.

“I just… It’s important that you know I didn’t come here because I want sex. I came because I sleep better near you.” David told him. Olive branch.

“I get it.” Patrick said, mostly to himself.

David began to shut the door when Patrick said, “Hey, David?”

“Yes?” David looked at him expectantly.

“For the record, I sleep better near you, too.” Olive branch.

++++++

David lay on the bed. Face down. Naked. Arms under his head. Face turned to the side. Eyes closed. Ready. Ready for Patrick’s touch. Ready for them to heal.

Quiet, instrumental music playing on his phone. His choice of music all week long. Meditation music that didn’t seem to help him meditate.

Patrick, also naked, moved to sit on the back of David’s upper thighs. He drizzled massage oil that he had warmed up onto David’s back. Starting at David’s lower back, he stretched forward and using a long, slow motion, he moved his hands up David’s back.

His strong hands gripped David’s shoulders and firmly squeezed him. His thumbs working that spot right in the center of his upper back where his neck met his shoulders. Patrick knew that was where David held his tension.

Fighting the urge to start the conversation, Patrick moved his hands back down David’s back. Then up the sides of David’s back. Hands turned out, fingers running up David’s sides, the tender area under his arms. His hands continued over David’s biceps. Back to his shoulders.

As he felt the steady movements of Patrick’s hands. Felt the pressure of Patrick sitting on him. David began to relax. _Finally._

He was exhausted. Emotionally. Physically. He’d missed Patrick. And, if he were being honest with you, he’d tell you that he was rather taken aback that Patrick didn’t shower him with notes and gifts. Patrick didn’t send him text messages begging him to talk. He didn’t record songs for him. He’d just been silent. And it unnerved David to no end.

Every day he worried that when he reached the store at Noon, that he’d find Patrick had not been there. Learn that Patrick had gone. But David wouldn’t be honest with you. Not about that. Because he wouldn’t admit to anyone that he worried that he wasn’t strong enough to make it on his own. He’d simply not tell anyone of his biggest fear.

Patrick’s hands, splayed across David’s skin, glided back down his body. A little more massage oil drizzled at the dip where his back connected to the curve of his ass. Patrick’s thumbs worked to massage the tense muscles there.

He was exhausted. Emotionally. Physically. He’d missed David. And if he were being honest with you, he’d tell you that he had needed a break from it. Of course, he loved David. David was the love of his life. But Patrick had failed him. And Patrick didn’t fail people. Ever. He could count on one hand the times someone had said they were disappointed in him and he could recount exactly why he’d never made one of those mistakes twice.

Hearing David say the words? Hearing David say he was disappointed? Patrick was mad at himself and needed time alone to think about why he’d done what he did, and generate a plan of how to never allow it to happen again. But Patrick wouldn’t be honest with you. Not about that. Because he wouldn’t admit to you that he worried that being less than perfect with David might drive David away. He’d simply not tell anyone of his biggest fear.

Patrick scooted down David’s legs. More oil. Working the back of David’s thighs. Tight and tender. At one point, David jerked at the pressure. The pain it caused.

“Sorry,” Patrick whispered.

“No. Please work it. It’s tight. Please spend time there.” David asked quietly.

Patrick worked the area gently and then as he felt David relax, he provided more pressure. His hands glided down David’s legs. He spent time on the area behind David’s knees. He knew David liked to be rubbed there. A soft, sensitive spot that held no tension. Just tender stroking. Down David’s legs to his calves. Deep pressure. His palms wrapped around each of David’s calves and squeezed.

Hands starting at David’s ankles, gripping David’s muscles, Patrick steadily moved his hands in one, long movement up David. Up his legs, over his ass. Up his back, to his arms.

Patrick straddled David’s hips as his upper body rested on David.

Patrick lay atop David. His weight pressing down on him. His dick pressed against David’s ass. His face over David’s face that was turned to the side.

His exhalation near David’s ear caused David to move slightly. A nearly imperceptible arch of his back. Pressing his ass against Patrick.

Patrick felt the subtle movement. Knew what David wanted.

“May I touch you?” The request came in a whisper.

David’s slight nod came with a quiet, “Please.”

Patrick moved back. Instead of sitting on David’s legs, he nudged them apart. He knelt between them.

Another drizzle of oil.

Patrick’s thumbs started at the base of David’s back and moved down. Separating his ass cheeks. The same pressure he used on the back of David’s knees; firm but gentle. His thumbs worked slow circles down David just inside his ass crack. Separating him and massaging as he went.

David’s dick, under him, was pointed down. The head and his balls peeking out from under him. Patrick’s oiled hand rubbed over them. Stroking him. Less about trying to turn him on and more about acknowledging they were part of his body and needed attention to. Rubbed the oiled palm of his hand over them several times. Then back to David’s ass.

David’s back arched, again. Calling attention to where he wanted Patrick to focus his attention.

Patrick moved, then. Lowered his body, wedging himself between David’s legs, and spreading David open enough for his mouth to greet him.

As air hit it, his hole puckered. It made Patrick smile.

Soft kiss. A gentle lick.

David lay still while Patrick spent time on him. His tongue teasing David’s hole.

David raised his hips. His hand moved between himself and the mattress. Provided space for his dick to move. He shifted his dick so it pointed up. He lay back down. It pressed between his lower abdomen and the mattress. That felt better to him.

Patrick gave him a moment to adjust himself.

“OK?” Patrick asked him. Hand rubbing the back of David’s thigh.

“Mmmm.” David made a noise of contentment. His arms back under his head. Eyes closed. Relaxed. Knowing that Patrick could and would do anything to him and he’d be safe.

Patrick’s oiled finger circled David. His finger eased into David. Pulled nearly out, pressed back in. Dragged along that spot that caused David’s body to involuntarily jerk.

He moved again. On top of David again. His face near David’s.

He spoke quietly to David. “Want to roll over for more massage? Or do you want me to keep going here?”

As good as it felt to David to have Patrick touching him sexually for the first time in over a week, his muscles craved the massage.

“Front.” David told him in a soft voice. “Please, massage my front.”

Patrick moved off of David. Sat beside him on the mattress to allow him to move.

David’s movements fluid. Relaxed. He rolled easily to his back. Arms out to his side.

Patrick moved to David’s feet. Massaged one and then the other. His thumbs working the arch brought a moan out of him.

He oiled David’s legs and began to move his hands over first David’s shins and then his knees. Spending time there, where he knew David would enjoy the way his thumbs circled over his flesh.

As his hands moved up David’s legs, up over his thighs, Patrick watched David’s face. His eyes were closed. His face slack with relaxation; he had given himself completely to Patrick in that moment. As Patrick’s hands neared that space where thigh meets groin, David licked his lips. Left his mouth open. Lips parted in anticipation.

Patrick’s hands moved to David’s hips. His sides. Worked the muscles there. Then moved to his abdomen. Rotated his hands in a circle around David’s abdomen, circling his belly button. He knew that if they’d held onto this fight for a week, David likely had a lot of stomach upset. David had often asked Patrick to rub him there when he had a stomach ache. Nervous belly. Butterflies. It helped to calm him.

Patrick first maneuvered around David’s cock, semi erect and interested in more. Then he held the bottle over him and dripped a line of oil up David’s cock. He first used his hands to press David’s cock against his abdomen. A flat hand, fingers together. Pressed flat against him. Traveled up him from base to tip. Patrick’s other hand followed. Alternating, over and over he rubbed him.

Then, while still pressing one hand flat against his cock, he cupped David’s balls with his other hand. He carefully massaged first one, then the other. Gently massaging him between his thumb and forefinger.

He liked the look of David’s balls. He always had. David spent time on them. Groomed around them. Kept them clean and moisturized. As though they were as important as any other part of his body. Meticulous. Patrick liked that about him.

Patrick wrapped his left hand around David’s cock. Began to pump up and down, leisurely with just the right amount of pressure. His thumb smoothed over its head.

 _Finally_ , David thought. _Finally._

“Ohhhaaaahh.” The sound escaped him was not a very David-esque sound. It was the sound of a week’s worth of tension leaving a body that was finally relaxing.

The sound brought a smile to Patrick. He wanted to hear more.

The fingers of Patrick’s right hand slid back behind David’s balls. First, applying gentle pressure and massaging the tender skin of David’s taint. Releasing the pressure he held there. Then, moving with determination back to David’s hole. Massaging around and then entering him, again. More tension released.

Though he wanted to crawl on top of David and make him come, he clearly heard David’s words in his mind. _I didn’t come here for sex._

He let his fingers touch David’s most intimate spaces for just a moment longer before he moved on. There was more of David’s body that needed attention.

Patrick drizzled more oil on David’s chest. He moved up David’s body to sit. He sat mid-way up David. Pressing David’s cock between himself and David. He selfishly took the opportunity to adjust his body over him.

Patrick wedged David’s erect cock between his two ass cheeks. Patrick rolled his hips a few times so he could feel the slick, velvety shaft of David’s cock glide against the sensitive nerve endings of his hole.

And for a few moments, Patrick stopped massaging him. His hands pressed to David’s chest as he rocked over David’s firm cock. His head rolled back. “Mmmmm,” the sound rolled out of him.

The sound brought a smile to David, who had opened his eyes and watched Patrick experience the moment.

David’s cock felt the pleasure of the movement of Patrick pressing against him. David pulled his bottom lip into his mouth as Patrick’s thumbs began to gently tease at David’s nipples.

And then, as suddenly as it had started, it stopped and Patrick’s hands began to work the muscles on David’s chest. Worked them as though his job was not to turn David on, but to ease his tension.

David let out a long exhalation. The tension in his shoulders always settling in that space just under his collar bones. Patrick’s hands squeezed his shoulders. His thumbs working his pectoral muscles.

He flattened his hands. His palms pressed on David. One palm on each side of David’s chest. Massaged in circles. Ran his hands across his chest to his sides. Under his arms.

Patrick leaned over to his drawer. Retrieved a couple of the wipes from the container there. Wiped the oil from his hands.

Up on his knees; one knee on each side of David. No longer pressing David’s cock between them. His hands moved to David’s face. Knowing it helped him with headaches, Patrick’s fingers began to circle with a tender firmness around David’s jaw and then moved with purpose up to his temples. Back to his jaw.

His thumbs drew over David’s eyebrows. Pressure there to relieve the tension around David’s eyes. He knew that movement helped David if he had a headache. He moved his fingers back to David’s temples.

David opened his eyes and focused on Patrick’s chest directly over him. Patrick watched David’s eyes look down and take in Patrick’s cock, firm. Wanting. He watched David’s eyes drag up his body until they connected with his own. Dark brown eyes. Still red with exhaustion and unshed tears.

David watched Patrick’s eyes move to look at his mouth. Back to his eyes. Watched him lick his lips. All the while, his skilled fingers soothed David by tenderly touching his face.

David reached up to him. One hand on each of Patrick’s biceps. He squeezed him.

Both knowing there was much to say. Both drained. Emotionally. Physically. Neither wanting to ruin the moment with the wrong choice of words.

“Lay on top of me. Please, Patrick,” David whispered his request. Olive branch.

Patrick obliged. Shifted his weight over David. Held some of his weight on his left elbow. Pressed most of his weight onto David, the way he liked. His right hand still on David, his fingers now stroking through David’s hair. His face directly over David’s. His eyes danced over David’s beautiful face.

“I want to kiss you,” his tone low.

“Then kiss me,” David told him with a soft voice.

His lips brushed gently over David’s, at first. A brief, tentative touching of lips. Unsure how far to take their tender connection. David lay still. Motionless. Believing he was allowing Patrick the power in the moment; not realizing the power was all his.

Patrick pulled back so he could look at him. He watched as a single tear escaped the corner of David eye and rolled back along his temple and disappear into his hair.

“I’m so sorry I let you down.” Patrick whispered. Earnest. Heart-felt. Olive branch.

David shut his eyes. Shook his head. _No. I don’t want to talk about it._ He refused to say the words out loud.

David knew if they discussed it, he’d become emotional. He would rather push it all down. Put it away. Walls were good and as much as he’d learned to let them down from time to time, he wasn’t sure now was the time to do so. He’d had little experience in making up in a healthy, loving, trusting way. They’d fought so seldom.

But David knew Patrick. Knew he’d want to start the conversation.

Patrick’s right hand moved from stroking David’s hair to cupping his cheek. His thumb, stroked David’s chin.

His lips brushed over David’s again. Briefly touching him. Hinting at his desire to kiss him. Really kiss him.

Patrick knew that David likely didn’t want to talk about it. Patrick knew that if David had his way, he’d push it to the back of his mind and forget about it. That was what David had historically done. Pushed the bad away and ignored it. Ignored it until he could no longer ignore it. Wasn’t that, ultimately, why David was in therapy? To learn to deal with things rather than push them away?

But Patrick knew David. Knew that if Patrick would start the conversation, David would rise to the occasion.

He kissed him again. Deeper this time. A kiss that connected them. Heart and soul. David responded to him. His curved, plump lips welcomed Patrick’s and parted slightly for him.

His lips still over David, Patrick told him, “I dropped the ball. You’re right. If I’d have met with Alexis, gotten her ready, none of that would have happened. You’re right. I let you down.” Olive branch.

 _Fuck her._ David thought. _She’s the least of my worries._

The next kiss was more. It was deeper. Lasted longer. Lips pressed together with a sweet suction that caused an emotional welling within David’s chest. Caused his heart to ache with its sweetness. David couldn’t help but let the whimper out.

Patrick pulled back only enough so he could look into David’s eyes. “David, I’m sorry I let him back in. You’re right. I did it to get back at you. It was wrong to do it. It was a bad decision.”

 _Big fucking_ olive branch.

David shut his eyes as the tears began to roll in earnest. Out the corners of his eyes. Down his temples. Into his hair.

Patrick moved to kiss him but stopped when David began to speak. He pulled back just enough to be able to see David’s eyes, even though his eyes wouldn’t meet Patrick’s. They shifted to the side, and then he closed them. He wouldn’t look at Patrick.

David’s hands gripped tighter around Patrick’s arms. He called on every skill his therapist had taught him. How to form the phrase in a way that took ownership and didn’t assign blame.

“I don’t _like_ how I _feel_ when he’s… near.” David’s voice broke when he said the last word. His eyes still closed.

Patrick’s hand moved back to stroking David’s hair.

“I know. I know that, and I did it anyway. I’m sorry, David. I don’t know why I did that.” Patrick told him. Watching him closely.

David opened his eyes. His hands moved up Patrick’s arms. Cupped Patrick’s face in his hands. “Because you don’t like how you feel when _she’s_ near, and I forced your hand. Told you to call her. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry for that, Patrick.” Olive. Branch.

Patrick shook his head. David was right, of course, he had called Toby as a reaction to David’s demand that Patrick call Ronnie. “Not a good enough reason to call him. It was… cruel of me to do that. I’m ashamed of myself, David. I intentionally did that to upset you. I’m so sorry.” Olive. Branch.

David’s hand, looped around Patrick’s neck, pulled him down for a kiss. This time, the connection more passionate. David opened his mouth, encouraging the lick from Patrick’s tongue that he knew was coming. David’s hand moved to the back of Patrick’s head. Encouraged more pressure. The pads of his fingers massaging Patrick’s head, reassuring Patrick that it was a wanted touch. Doing what he could to comfort Patrick while Patrick comforted him.

David raised his knees. David’s legs wrapping around Patrick as the kiss deepened. As Patrick continued to stroke his hair.

Patrick moved his mouth. Kissed David’s cheek. His temple. Tasted the salt that David’s tears had left there.

The exhale near David’s ear caused chills to run down his right side.

With eyes closed, his hands still holding Patrick’s head to him, David asked him. “I want sex, Patrick. Fuck me.”

A slight smile tugged at Patrick’s lips. His hips bucked against David’s in an unconscious response to the request.

He kissed David. A sweet, loving kiss that was brief.

“I can’t do that, Babe. There’s a lot of oil here between us. Not good for a condom.” Patrick’s hand slid between them. Pumped David’s cock. The pad of his thumb circled around David’s slit.

“Just… do it. Fuck me without a condom, Patrick,” David whispered into his ear.

Patrick moved his mouth. Another kiss. His tongue boldly diving in. Taking his time in David’s mouth while the thumb of his right hand did things to the head of David’s cock.

“Not until we’ve talked it through. I don’t want you to regret it later.” Patrick told him, not for the first time.

“I need you.” David told him. One hand still on the back of Patrick’s head. The other had moved between them. Gripped Patrick’s cock.

“You’ve got me. I’m here.” Patrick kissed his cheek.

Patrick shifted. Reached for the oil. He knew they likely had more than enough between them, but it felt so good to feel lubricated skin glide against lubricated skin.

Another drizzle of oil on David’s hand felt wonderfully sensual as he stroked Patrick’s cock. Patrick ran his own well-oiled hand over David’s.

As Patrick looked down at David, he watched David raise one eyebrow. Just a slight move, but he saw it. And then he felt it.

David’s hand moved to take over. Took his own cock out of Patrick’s hand.

While both of David’s hands moved between them, Patrick’s hands moved to the mattress on either side of David. Then he lowered himself closer to him. Lowered himself on his elbows.

David’s hands grasped their two cocks together. The slicked satiny skin of their cocks rubbing together while David’s hands created a snug sheath that enveloped them both.

As his hands moved, one finger slid between the two cocks. David’s hands worked them; moved up and down their erections. Patrick buried his face into David’s neck. Moaned from the pleasure he felt.

David’s legs moved to curve around Patrick’s.

Patrick pulled back to see David’s face.

David shut his eyes. Held in his words. His hands worked between them.

Patrick watched the micro-expressions on David’s face. Subtlety not usually a trait of David’s, unless they were in a moment such as this one.

Again, Patrick’s lips brushed against David’s. David’s mouth parted for him. Patrick kissed him. Tenderly.

“Tell me,” Patrick whispered against David’s lips. He knew that David’s walls were falling down and if he was going to get him to tell him what was bothering him, it would be now.

“This feels too good to talk,” David whispered, shaking his head.

“Tell me what you need,” Patrick’s voice was deeper as he kissed David’s neck. His body moving against David’s. His hips pressed against him. His cock securely in David’s hands.

Though he kept the grip on their firm cocks, David’s hands stopped moving.

“No more fantasy play about Ted,” David whispered. “Nightmares.”

“No more.” Patrick said. Needing no reason. If David said to stop, it was time to stop. “No more.” He said again.

He kissed David’s temple. His cheek. His lips. David’s hands began to move again.

“Your turn,” David whispered.

Patrick rocked his hips forward, pressed into David’s grip. He exhaled loudly.

David’s hands stopped their movement. He waited.

“If something needs fixed, we need a contractor… either you deal with her or we find someone else. Don’t make me be the one to ask her. Please.” Patrick didn’t realize he had his own request, until David gave him the opportunity.

“Yes. Agreed. Agreed.” David lifted his head off the pillow so he could make the connection he wanted with Patrick’s mouth. His hands moved again. Slick movement over their cocks.

Patrick lowered his head to give David the kiss he wanted. Pressed David’s head down into his pillow with the pressure of it. Tongue licking into him. Then he sucked on that bottom lip of David’s that always drew him in.

He pulled back and David looked up at him. They locked eyes.

David’s hands stopped again.

“You have more.” Patrick noted.

The nod David gave was slight.

Patrick’s lips were gentle on David’s cheek. “Tell me.”

“Never. _Ever_. Contact…” David started.

“I’ll never contact him again. Ever.” Patrick agreed.

They were both silent. Motionless. Patrick waited for David’s hands to move. They did not.

“You have more. Tell me.” Patrick encouraged.

“If I die tomorrow, you will never… ever… have my permission to be with that fucking umpire.” David told him.

“Never.” Patrick chuckled.

Patrick kissed him. Tender. Soft. A gentle brushing against his lips.

“Tell me again,” David asked of him. “I need to know you mean it.”

“Never. I will never contact him again. And if he were the last man on earth, I would never be with him.” Patrick told him.

David’s hands began to move.

Patrick moved to kiss David’s neck. He breathed him in. He moaned again as David’s hands pumped him.

 _My god I love him._ Patrick thought to himself. _I can’t keep this secret any longer. I have to tell him. I have to._

Feeling Patrick’s body still on top of him. Feeling Patrick’s erection begin to wane in his hands, David whispered in his ear. “Hey.”

Patrick’s mind raced. _Do I tell him? I can’t tell him that now. It’s too much now. It will set him off. He’ll think I don’t trust him._

“Hey,” David whispered again. His hands squeezed Patrick’s cock against his own. His thumb rubbed over the sensitive heads.

Patrick thought to himself. _It’s one week. Next weekend I see my parents and I tell them. After I tell them, then David can know and it will all be fine._

“Patrick,” David said a bit more forcefully. “Hey, Mr. Brewer. Where are you?”

Patrick lifted his head. Locked eyes with him. “I’m here.”

“No. You went somewhere. Where did you go?”

“Nowhere. I’m right here.”

“Your cock would tell a different story.” David raised an eyebrow. His hands worked Patrick’s penis as it rapidly approached a flaccid state.

Patrick’s face told David all he needed to know. Something was bothering Patrick. He released their cocks. One hand moved to the back of Patrick’s head. The pads of his fingers scratched at the back of Patrick’s head.  
  
“Mr. Brewer?” David began to worry. “Talk to me. Please.”

Patrick shook his head. The words were on the tip of his tongue. He bit his bottom lip.

“Patrick.” David’s breath caught in his chest. Panic began to stir there.

“I’m sorry, David.” Patrick told him. Tears welling in his eyes.

David shook his head. “For what?”

“For this week. For everything that happened leading up to it. For… everything.” Patrick blurted. He couldn’t tell David. Not like this. Not here. They were too tender in that moment. David would be too disappointed in him to learn the truth.

“We’re moving past that. We’re OK,” David whispered to him. His fingers working the back of Patrick’s head in an attempt to soothe him. “OK?” David asked him.

Patrick nodded. His eyes dropped to David’s lips. Back to his eyes. “OK.”

“OK,” David said. He leaned up while at the same time pulled Patrick’s head down to him for a kiss.

“Are we done with… this?” David asked.

“This? You mean our argument?” Patrick asked, “Or the making up?”

“I suppose the argument,” David said. “But I meant our… seventh inning stretch.”

“Do you want to be done?” Patrick asked him.

“Do you?” David asked him.

Patrick moved David’s hand. Pulled it from the back of his head and moved it between them. “No,” Patrick shook his head.  
  
Patrick lowered himself and began to kiss David’s neck.

David grinned into Patrick’s neck. His hands worked together to stroke both of their cocks. Worked them individually and then as their interest reignited, he joined them together between his two hands while Patrick’s lips worked along that part of David’s neck that liked attention.

Though neither man spoke, they both made sounds that told the other all he needed to know. Sounds of pleasure. Satisfaction. Lust. Desire. Release.

++++++

They soaped their hands and washed each other in the shower. Neither saying much. Both lost in their own thoughts. They shared small kisses. Gentle touches.

While David completed his skin care routine at the bathroom sink, Patrick changed the sheets on the bed because he hadn’t changed them all week and the oil from the massage had seeped into them. He knew David would sleep better on fresh sheets.

David teased Patrick about the state of the apartment. “I’ve never seen so many things out of place here. How many piles are on your floor?”

“Haven’t done any laundry. Just left my clothes in the bathroom.” Patrick brought David a glass of water for his night stand.

“Piles of clothes on the floor while the hamper is empty,” David teased him.

“What can I say. When you’re not around, my life is a mess,” Patrick conceded. Olive branch.

++++++

He sat outside. On a rocker? A porch swing?

He held a book in his lap.

The yard was nice. A big yard with a nice green lawn. There were a lot of trees. A _lot_ of trees.

Movement caught his eye. Patrick was there. In jean shorts and a sweatshirt. Rose Apothecary ballcap on his head.

He was working. Raking leaves. He’d made several small piles of them.

Patrick looked up at him. Winked. Tugged on the bill of his cap.

David waved at him.

Patrick went back to raking. Meticulously creating little piles.

As if from out of nowhere, running like a flash through the yard was a dog. A big, black dog. It ran toward Patrick and then ran back across the yard. Then back toward Patrick. Barking. Tail wagging.

The dog ran through the piles. Leaves flew everywhere. All the little piles he created were blown into a mess on the lawn.

Patrick pulled his hat off his head. Smacked it against his leg. Frustrated.

David began to laugh. He laughed so hard tears came to his eyes.

++++++

Patrick felt him jerk in his arms. They’d been asleep for a while. Patrick was the big spoon.

David’s body did what it did whenever he had a bad dream. He jerked. He whimpered.

Patrick sat up. Put a hand on David’s shoulder. Shook him gently.

“David. Wake up. You’re safe.” Patrick rubbed his own eyes sleepily.

David sounded as though he were crying.  
  
“David.” Patrick shook him harder.

David rolled to his back as he woke up. A smile on his face. He was laughing. He held his hands to his belly and he laughed.

Patrick chuckled. “You’re laughing.”

A tear left David’s eye and rolled down his temple, back into his hair. “I am.”

“I thought you were having a nightmare.” Patrick said as he lay back down beside David. He rested on his side, his elbow on the mattress his hand held his head. He eyed David as his hand came to rest on David’s chest.

“It was a _lovely_ dream,” David told him. “I can’t remember when I’ve had such a wonderful dream.”

David’s hand reached for Patrick’s. Their fingers intertwined.

Patrick smiled at him. “You want to tell me?”

“We had a house. With a big yard.” David told him.

“Oh, yeah?” Patrick smiled.

David nodded. Then he added, “And a dog.”

“A dog?” Patrick’s eyes grew wide.

“A big black one.”

“Like a lab, or a retriever?” Patrick asked.

“How the fuck would I know that?” David asked.

“Sorry. What were we doing?” Patrick asked, getting them back on track.

“I was reading a book and drinking lemonade. You were doing yard work.” David told him.

“That tracks.” Patrick chuckled.

“The dog kept running through your piles of leaves and annoying you.” The laughter had not yet left David. He laughed a little more.

Patrick smiled at him. Watched how David’s eyes danced.

“You were so pissed you had to start over.” David told him.

“So, me being tormented by the family dog is funny to you?” Patrick moved closer to him. Thrilled that David had a dream that contained such domestic bliss. And ecstatic that he thought it was a good dream.

David rolled away from Patrick. Backed up to him. Asking to be held. Held his hand up, and waited for Patrick to hold it.

They lay together. The middle of the night. In the dark apartment. Limbs wrapped around each other. Bodies pressed tight against each other.

“It’s so nice to have a good dream.” David whispered.

“They’re going to get better, I promise.” Patrick pressed his lips to David’s shoulder.

The room was silent.

Patrick assumed David had fallen back to sleep. Patrick’s mind wandered. _I’ll get next weekend over. Once I tell them, I can propose. I’m going to make him my husband. I’m going to marry this man. If I don’t fuck it up, I’m going to marry this man._

“Do you see it happening?” David’s voice surprised Patrick.

Patrick jumped.

“You scared me.” Patrick breathed out quietly.

“Sorry. Do you?” David asked.

“See what happening?” Patrick knew what he meant, but wanted to hear him say it.

“Do you think we might live together someday?” David’s asked him.

“We almost live together now. All that’s missing is the massive sweater collection.” Patrick teased. 

“You know what I mean.” David told him seriously.

“I absolutely see us living together, David.”

“In a house?” David asked.

“In a house.” Patrick confirmed.

“With a nice yard?” David asked.

“With a nice yard.” Patrick told him.

“You’ll do all the yard work.” David told him.

“Of course, I will.” Patrick confirmed.

“Because it would have to be done just right and a hired hand wouldn’t do it your way.” David teased. He smiled into the dark room.

“That’s accurate.” Patrick nodded.

David thought for a moment. “I suppose I’d be OK with a dog.”

Patrick smiled into David’s back. His hand tightened around David’s. His heart beat loudly in his chest. “You would?”

“You’d have to feed it, take it on runs so it would behave.” David told him.

“I’d do that.” Patrick readily agreed.

David rolled back a little. Pressed his body tighter against Patrick. “I’d be OK with that.”

Patrick breathed out a sigh. “I love you, David.”

David reached his arm behind himself. Patted Patrick’s hip. “I love you too, Mr. Brewer. Now… how big of a house are we talking… because I’m going to need room for my sweaters.”

+++

End part 2 of 2

+++


	26. Attachment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the days after their week-long argument, David and Patrick find their footing. David has therapy. David has a phone conversation with Patrick's parents. David works on Patrick's Cabaret costume. David and Patrick have the talk they've needed to have for a long time: whether or not to use a condom. The talk turns into more than either had really bargained for. David opens up to Patrick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place between 5.10 and 5.11. 
> 
> *****SPOILER ALERT*****  
> If you are not worried about being triggered in any way, but you are not a fan of having the plot of a chapter spoiled, do not read the trigger warnings below. (However, I do ask that you read the Therapeutic Disclosure below.)  
> ***END SPOILER ALERT***  
> +++  
> *****WARNING*****  
> This chapter discusses a therapeutic technique used by David's therapist. If reading general information about trauma-based therapy is bothersome to you, please do not read this chapter.  
> *****WARNING*****  
> This chapter discusses, IN DETAIL, parenting attachment styles and their impact on children who grow to be adults. If the concept of parenting attachment and its impact on adult relationships is troublesome to you, please do not read this chapter.  
> *****WARNING*****  
> There is a BRIEF mention of child abuse and its impact on attachment. No description is mentioned and neither character was parented in this way.  
> **END OF WARNING**  
> +++  
> ***THERAPEUTIC DISCLOSURE***  
> I have included a link in the text of this chapter to a site. It is during the portion of the chapter where a type of Trauma-based therapy is briefly described. I have provided a link to a company that owns the rights to that particular type of therapy (and the training/certification for it). I have nothing to do with this company or this site. But the description (both a clinical and a "layperson's" view) of the therapy is exceptional. Though I do hold certification in trauma-based therapy, I am NOT a therapist who utilizes EMDR. I have, on occasion, referred individuals to therapists who are trained in this particular, evidence-based technique. I am in no way saying that all trauma should be treated with the EMDR technique. It is one of many valid techniques that well-trained, qualified therapists use.  
> ***END OF DISCLOSURE***  
> +++  
> My Notes:  
> I realize that most of you thought that my next chapter posted would go along with Meet the Parents. I had this special chapter to take care of before we meet Marcy and Clint in the flesh. These guys needed to have the condom conversation. Along with that, I am having David open up about some concepts he's discussed in therapy. 
> 
> You may find it dry, unnecessary, or unimportant. If you do, it is completely fine if you skip it. I am adding it here because I believe how we are parented impacts us. It impacts how we learn in school. It impacts how we relate to others. And, it certainly impacts our adult relationships. Certainly other life happenings also impact our relationships. At the end of the chapter, I have added some visuals and links to further resources in case you want to learn more. Should you wish to discuss further, I will see you in the comment section. 
> 
> The next chapters will be around Meet the Parents. So far, there are four of them. I am not sure how many there will be in the end, but I have to have them all pretty much written before I start to post the first one. So please, be patient with me as I flesh them out and edit them so they are worthy to post. It will be a bit longer before they are ready. Thank you for understanding. 
> 
> In the meantime, I know I'm preaching to the choir when I say - have a plan to vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote all the way down the ticket. Please help us save the rights we've worked so hard to protect. 
> 
> And, finally...  
> I have a new friend out there who, after much contemplation has decided to seek therapy. As I understand it, they struggled with the decision and came to it recently. They empowered themselves and called a person they know who works in the field for recommendations. They went to the website I've posted in my work to also search (to find a back up in case they didn't get the recommendation they needed). In the end, they found the person they feel will be right for them and, in the morning, they will have their first appointment. To them I offer my congratulations for making a big first step. I don't know the issue with which they struggle, and I don't need to. What I know is that taking the first step toward better mental health, taking a step toward better self care... it's a big deal. To that person I send love and encouragement. *Red heart emoji*
> 
> Now. On to the chapter....
> 
> +++

++++++

The days that followed the week-long argument were tender. They spoke gently to one another; they limited the amount of snark in their teasing. They touched each other in a non-sexual way a little more than they had before: a touch on the lower back, a squeeze of an arm, a rub of the shoulder. Sweet kisses to connect. It had been their first real fight in months. And it left them shaken.

David worked hard, very hard, to not overthink it. He was still sore, emotionally, from it all. He toyed with whether or not to discuss it in therapy, and decided that he probably needed to. Because, although Patrick had promised that he’d never initiate contact with Toby ever again, David still wasn’t 100% convinced. He wanted to trust Patrick; he really did. But, deep down, in a way that he couldn’t explain, he didn’t.

Patrick had truly regretted reacting the way he did to David’s demand that he hire Ronnie to fix the bathroom. Patrick knew he took the easy way out. He could have called any number of contractors, but after calling one and being turned down in his request for an emergency sink install, he looked down the list he’d Googled and saw Toby’s name. He decided to take the easy route. Well, easy for Patrick. David had every right to be angry at Patrick. And Patrick knew it. Patrick admitted, to himself and to David, that there was no excuse for what he did. 

So, there they were – in a very tender time after an argument that was, as Patrick described it, “Pretty big,” and as David described it, “Earth shattering.” Which is to say, they were both shaken.

In the weekend following their makeup session, they did things for each other. Patrick covered the store Saturday morning and encouraged David to stay in bed for some much deserved and needed sleep. David willingly was the snack person for the youths at Patrick’s Little League game on Saturday afternoon.

David held onto his nerves. He had a therapy appointment on Monday where he had to decide whether or not to unpack their argument. And then there was the party. He was a nervous wreck about it all. Making sure it went off without a hitch. Worried Patrick’s parents might not be as easy to like as he’d suspected. Terrified they’d find something to not like about David… or his family… or the store… or the town.

Patrick held onto his nerves. As the days passed and the weekend neared, he thought about his trip home. He spent any spare time he had deep cleaning his apartment. It had gone to rack and ruin during the previous week. Barely a moment passed where he wasn’t thinking through how he’d tell his parents. He’d waited months. Hell, he’d waited nearly a year. He imagined how he’d tell David, _I was too afraid of my two worlds colliding and not having any control. I couldn’t tell you until I knew it was OK._

Though both men were nervous, they did not discuss it. It was a bit awkward, because they typically talked about everything. David would say, if he were being honest, that Patrick made him talk about things far too often. Almost too much, if you asked David. But since the fight, neither seemed to want to open up much. Both assuming the other was reacting the way they were because they had one big discussion hanging in the air that hadn’t happened. They both knew they needed to discuss not using condoms and if, when, and how that might happen. But both had so many other pressing issues on their minds that neither wanted to add that one more, highly charged, topic to the mix. So, they tried to read each other’s cues. Instead they misread them. Terribly.

They hadn’t had sex since that night. Mainly because neither wanted to reach for a condom knowing they still had yet to have the discussion. Technically speaking they didn’t have sex the night they made up, either. Of course, if you asked Patrick and he weren’t too embarrassed to use the words, he’d tell you that they had sex several times since they made up. But, as David would explain if you asked him: 7th inning stretches, hand jobs, and a fellatio are not _technically_ sex. He’d report, “Yes, we were… _intimate_ … but we didn’t _have sex_.”

They made out a lot. After the ball game on Saturday. After David returned from his Rose Family Brunch on Sunday. And when David spent the night on Saturday night, he returned the favor of the massage. Gave Patrick one. But they didn’t have sex. Not official sex, sex. Because… the fucking condom talk.

As expected, when the week started and their hectic schedule took over, they saw each other less. They texted often, about little things, and spent most of their evenings apart. And they masturbated like they did before they were together. That is to say often. In private. And without speaking of it to each other.

++++++

“David,” Patrick chuckled. “This is so damn weird. Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Just… hold still. Stop squirming.” David mumbled around the pins that were pressed between his lips.

“You’re going to stick me with one of those and I’m not going to be happy.” Patrick shook a leg as his hands came to rest on his waist.

“Then _stop squirming_.” David shot him a serious look.

David sat, legs crossed under himself, on the floor in Patrick’s apartment. Specifically, on the rug in front of the fire place. It was late, nearly 11:00. Patrick had returned from a late-night rehearsal and David wanted to get a little further on Patrick’s costume.

Patrick stood in front of him wearing only the black jock strap and the boots.

Well. That is to say the only clothing he wore. He also had a series of elastic straps wrapped over his shoulders and around his torso.

After many conversations with Gwen, where the two of them sketched multiple versions of the contraption that Patrick would wear in Cabaret, David finally felt ready to try to create it.

Gwen had suggested that David put the elastic straps onto Patrick and try manipulating them to fit to Patrick’s form before cutting. Then, she instructed, pin them in place so when David was ready to sew them, he would have them all connected in the right spots.

He was at the point in the costume design, that David was feeling quite proud of himself. It didn’t look terrible.

And, at that point in the process, Patrick was terrified that the half dozen pins already holding the contraption together would come loose and impale him.

David sat up on his knees. Wanted to test how snug the straps would be. Reached up and ran his finger under the strap that ran down Patrick’s body from his left shoulder down to between his legs. David’s finger pressed against Patrick’s skin, then dragged along the substantial bulge in the snug-fitting jock strap.

“And, why… exactly… am I wearing the jock strap?” Patrick looked down his body at David who was kneeling in front of him with furrowed brows and investigating the way the elastic strap wrapped to the side of Patrick’s bulge.

“Because your jock strap keeps your… treasures… nice and compact. At least as compact as… possible. If you wore your regular underwear, you’d be jiggling all over the place down here.” David held out the palm of his hand and made a small circle in front of Patrick’s groin.

“My _treasures_.” Patrick nodded. His eyes danced as he pressed his lips together, in that look he gives David where he suppresses a grin.

“What would you have me call it?” David focused on where he was working. Tried to not smile and ignored Patrick’s teasing.

“My junk?” Patrick said.

Rolling his eyes, David mumbled, “I wouldn’t call it junk, _per se_ …”

“So, if that’s why I’m wearing the jock strap… why… _exactly_ … am I wearing the boots?” Patrick asked.

“Because it completes the ensemble. Now hush.” David reached around him and swatted Patrick’s bare ass.

“You want to keep me quiet, spanking me is not going to do it.” Patrick teased him.

David inserted another pin into the elastic.

Patrick quickly moved all of his weight onto one leg and held the other leg away from David. “David, no. Take that out. It’s too close to my balls. David.”

David laughed and removed the pin. “See? Hold still and be quiet. I have a lot of sharp instruments here.”

“OK. OK. OK.” Patrick said as he resumed his stance. Boots facing forward. Arms at his side. Chin up. Standing tall.

No sudden movements.

++++++

David’s therapy appointment that week had gone well. They talked through the homework that he completed and the discussion was good.

Over the few months since he’d started therapy, he’d actually talked through a lot of things with her that he never thought he’d bring up. It surprised him when he stopped to take stock of it all. Surprised him that he actually was trusting the process, trusting this woman he didn’t know before he started.

A month or so into his sessions, they started EMDR, a special type of therapy to help victims of trauma. He learned that he had done like many people who experience trauma without receiving support after. After his assault he healed the best way he knew how, by suppressing the feelings that surface. Stuffing them down and shutting them away so he didn’t have to think about them.

He learned that many survivors of trauma who are not provided support and outlets for processing their trauma do the same thing. And when trauma is suppressed and not dealt with, the survivor can often suffer from negative repercussions including anxiety, depression, nightmares, shifts in personality, moodiness, and avoidance of activities. He learned for some people with untreated trauma the impact can have major psychological consequences.

She had explained to him that [Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing](https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/)… or EMDR… was just one way they could approach his therapy. She thought it was a good fit for him. It was a way for his brain to reopen the wound of his past trauma and with the help of therapy, he could then heal in a healthy way. 

They were several sessions in with the EMDR work and she said he had made remarkable progress. The work was not easy. It was emotional and stressful. Before they started, she asked for his commitment and warned him that things would grow worse before they became better. And in the weeks prior he felt it. He was more argumentative with Patrick, as evidenced by the dark period of their week-long argument. She also warned him about the possibility of increased nightmares, and she was not wrong about those. She cautioned that he would feel a need to control situations, because he had no control over some of his feelings. Again, she had been spot on.

As he left their most recent session, he felt less weight on his shoulders. “I feel good. So much better. Hopeful.” David had told her.

They weren’t out of the weeds yet, she reminded him. But he’d made good progress and she felt confident that if they continued on the path, it would not be long before he would be feeling better about it all.

He had, as time allowed over the weeks, delved deeper with her about he and Patrick being ready to discuss sex without a condom. It was a goal of his. They’d worked on discussing why he had been so adamant about condom usage. They discussed the CDC guidelines and the recommendations of The AIDS Center counselor (Cody). They discussed that both had indicated condoms for gay men who had sex outside of a trusting, monogamous relationship.

The real issue, and the reason David initially went to therapy, was the panic attack David had when the condom broke; even though he knew, logically, that he was safe with Patrick. The issue was not Patrick. The issue was David’s need for a condom when having intercourse. The trust he had in it. And the distrust he had in everything else.

He had told her that Patrick had refused to go without a condom when David had offered to do so during a couple of their sexual encounters. She had asked David why he thought Patrick had held back in those moments, especially since Patrick had been the first person to bring up the possibility of them not using condoms. David did not hesitate to explain that Patrick didn’t like to make in-the-moment decisions, and he worried that David might regret such a decision. So, Patrick wanted to sit, fully clothed away from the bedroom, and talk it through.

“If I know him, he’ll want to make a pro/con list and chart it out.” David had told her.

She just nodded and told him, “If you feel like there’s anything more to it and he needs to process, we can talk about a joint session or two.”

“Oh god.” David’s face showed his distaste for the idea. “Couples therapy?”

“No.” She shook her head with a smile. “David’s therapy… that would include a conversation or two with Patrick.”

++++++

“Are you sure you’re ready for the call?” David asked her.

“I think so.” Marcy said quietly. “Though we’ve talked about it, and we wonder if Clint shouldn’t be the one to do it.”

David sat at the table in his bedroom. Alexis had left with his mother for a rehearsal for the Kit Kat Dancers. David had stopped by his place after therapy. Patrick likely thought he was still on his way home from Elmdale.

David and the Brewers were wrapping up their last-minute plans for the coming weekend. Their plan had worked thus far. They had decided long ago that when Patrick would call to talk about going home for his birthday, his parents would excitedly talk details with him. Mrs. Brewer was to talk about organizing a family barbecue. Mr. Brewer would ask for help with some specific chores.

But then as the date approached, they’d call Patrick to tell him that plans had changed; something important came up and they had to leave town. Technically not a lie, David had pointed out to Marcy who was having difficulty with the concept of lying to her son, even if it were to make sure he had his first surprise party ever.

On the other end of the line, having finished lunch, the Brewers were sitting at their kitchen table. Coffee mugs in front of them, talking excitedly over their upcoming weekend trip to Schitt’s Creek. Marcy was talking to David. Clint sat near her.

“Well, Mrs. Brewer, if you feel like you would rather Mr. Brewer be the one to break the news to him, I think that would be fine.” David told her.

“I just don’t think I can lie very well.” She admitted.

“She has a tell,” He heard Mr. Brewer interject in the background.

“Ooooo. What’s your tell?” David asked her in a conspiratorial way.

“I have no idea.” Marcy giggled. “Clint, what’s my tell?”

“Oh, no. I’m not giving that information away for free.” Clint laughed.

The two seemed to be in wonderful moods and excited to see their son. It made David smile. Though he was nervous about it, he was ready to meet them and looked forward to getting to know them in person.

“So, what will Mr. Brewer tell him?” David asked.

“Clint, tell him what you want to tell Patrick.” Marcy handed he phone to her husband.

“David, I thought I’d just tell him that we have a dear friend from our college days who is being honored in a celebration out of town and we feel like we need to be there. I’d tell him that it is weekend-long event so he doesn’t try to come home anyway. Then I thought I’d ask him if he could come home the next weekend instead. That way, he won’t think we’re cancelling for long term. I don’t want to upset him too much,” Patrick’s dad said. Then he added, “I know how upset he was when Marcy couldn’t come down with me when I visited a couple of months ago.

David smiled as he listened to him. David hadn’t talked with Mr. Brewer more than a time or two; usually when he called the store and asked to speak with Patrick. Not only did his voice sound kind of like Patrick’s, the way he logically laid out his plans was very… Patrick.

“M’Kay. Umm… are you _wanting_ him to make the trip to see you the following weekend?” David asked him, zeroing in on that part of what Mr. Brewer had said.

“Well, I thought I’d suggest it so he would think he’d see us soon. But thought after we came down, he wouldn’t feel like he had to do that. Of course,… if he _wanted_ to come here, he could. We’d love to have him home for a few days.” Mr. Brewer said.

“I think we should leave that decision up to him, Mr. Brewer.” David told him.

“You think he’d want to make the trip all the way up here after just having seen us?” he asked David.

“For sure he would. He really wants to go home. We need to make that happen for him if we can.” David said.

“You really are very good to our son,” Mr. Brewer told David.

The compliment made his heart skip a beat. _They know how important Patrick is to me. How important I am to him._

David smiled as he spoke into the phone. “Well… he’s _very good_ to me, Mr. Brewer.”

++++++

They’d agreed that they would talk. They’d decided on Wednesday night. It was the only night that neither had a commitment before the end of the week. Patrick had promised to make dinner. They would discuss it all then. Lay it all out and make a decision about what they’d do.

They made small talk over their meal. Talked about the details of the week. Patrick told David about all the things he planned to do while visiting his parents over the coming weekend. They talked about when David and Patrick would celebrate Patrick’s birthday. David talked about the costumes for the show. Patrick talked about rehearsals and baseball. Neither uttered the word _condom_.

Patrick stood at the sink. Rinsed the last of the dishes from dinner and draped the hand towel over the dish rack beside the sink.

David sat on the couch. Legs tucked under himself. Arms crossed over his chest.

Patrick eyed him and noticed how David was sitting. _Turtle._

“Want some more wine?” Patrick asked.

“Please.” He nodded.

Patrick took the bottle to David, poured the last of it into David’s glass. Set the bottle by the sink. Poured himself two fingers of whiskey. Moved to sit. He settled in the arm chair closest to the bathroom. Wanted to give David plenty of space; not make him feel crowded.

One leg crossed over the other. Whiskey glass perched in his lap. Patrick’s finger ran along the rim of the glass. He raised his head and looked at David who was chewing on the inside of his cheek, eyes on the floor in front of himself.

“So… condoms, huh?” Patrick broke the ice in the awkward way that only Patrick could.

David looked at him. Pulled his mouth to the side in that suppressed smile that he gave Patrick when he was charmed and pleased with Patrick.

“Yeah,” David shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Condoms.”

Over the last few months, they had moved slowly toward the conversation.

David had, on several occasions, brought up the offer to have sex without a condom. But because the offer always came when they were naked and mid-sexual encounter, Patrick had always declined. Each time he told David, “Not yet.” Or “We need to talk it through first.” And, of course, he was right to do so.

David knew that Patrick didn’t want David to end up regretting a decision made in the heat of the moment. Patrick was the thinker of the two. Less emotionally reactive and more apt to process things in a logical way.

David knew that with the help of therapy, he was ready. He needed Patrick to know David was ready. Needed Patrick to know that David wasn’t going to freak out after they did it. He wasn’t going to regret the decision. At least David _hoped_ he wasn’t going to freak out, or regret the decision.

Regardless of who had been pushing it in the last weeks, they both knew Patrick was the one who originally brought it up. Innocently when they were away at the cabin while recovering from their very first dark period, he had asked David when they would have sex without a condom. To which David replied, “Never.”

They’d argued over it a few times early in their time together; Patrick pointing out that it meant that David didn’t trust him. And in the months since, Patrick had learned of David’s anxiety and trauma. He learned how the whole situation tied together and he learned that there were reasons for the distrust David felt and he understood him being so determined to never have unprotected sex. And along with learning the reasons behind it came Patrick’s fierce protectiveness and his desire to not push David where he didn’t want to go.

But there was something else.

Because of those trust issues, Patrick was hesitant to move forward while he continued to harbor a secret from David. He knew in his heart it would not be right to hold information from David while removing all barriers during their intercourse. He didn’t want David to learn the truth and then regret the fact that they’d done it. So, he had pushed it off with a “We’ll talk later.” And David seemed OK with that. Until now.

David was ready to talk and so Patrick would talk. But with his trip to his parents just days away, Patrick was determined to not actually do it until after all was out in the open. Until he could stand in front of David in full honesty that their relationship, their love, was known to everyone important in Patrick’s life.

“How do we start talking about this?” David asked him. Hesitant to talk about all of his baggage with Patrick. He’d kept it all in therapy and not brought much, if any, home to his boyfriend.

“Hell if I know.” Patrick shrugged.

“Do you need some paper?” David asked him.

“Why would I need paper?” Patrick looked confused.

“I guess I thought you’d make a list or a chart or something.” David sipped his wine.

“Do you _need me_ to make a list?” Patrick asked.

“ _I_ don’t need a list, _you’re_ the list maker.” David argued with him.

“You’re the bullet journalist,” Patrick countered. “ _Those_ are lists. I chart _data_ , not thoughts and _… feelings_.”

“OK, we’re going to argue about my bullet journal right now?” David stopped the bickering.

Patrick chuckled. “Sorry. Sorry.” He took a sip of his whiskey.

“I’ll start. We don’t have to use a condom anymore. I know I used to obsess over that, but I think I’m ready. I… I’m ready.” David told him. Chin up. Confident…. kind of.

Patrick shrugged. “I don’t ever have to have us go without one. I’m good using them.”

“Patrick!” David sounded exasperated.

“What?” Patrick asked.

“You were the first one to bring it up!” David exclaimed.

“Only because I didn’t know back then what I know now. I was just… prior to you… Rachel and I didn’t use them and…”

David bristled. “I don’t need us to talk about your sexual habits with Rachel.”

“I’m just saying, I hadn’t used them all that much prior to you, and I… at the time… when I first brought it up… I thought it would be nice to feel you without a rubber on.”

“I hate when you call them rubbers.” David mumbled.

“Sorry.”

“It’s OK,” David whispered.

The room was quiet. Both of them thinking through what they wanted to say.

“So… are you saying,” David asked, “that you _want_ to use condoms? That you don’t want to go without?”

“No,” Patrick shook his head. “I’m saying that it doesn’t matter to me. I’m fine either way. I want you to be comfortable and happy.”

“So why are we having this conversation, then? Why am I working on this issue in therapy?” David asked.

Patrick made a noise of exasperation. “Because you had a huge panic attack when a condom broke while we were…”

“Right.” David cut him off.

They were quiet. Each sipping their drinks.

Patrick broke the silence. “If I’m being honest?”

David locked eyes on him. “Yes?”

Patrick shrugged. Looked down at his drink. “I’d like to experience what it feels like.”

David’s nod was subtle. “Same.”

Patrick continued, “Kinda turns me on thinking about being in you… without one on.”

David’s lips twitched with a suppressed smile. “Me, too.”

“You’ve never done it without one?” Patrick asked him.

David shrugged. His eyes focused on his fingers as he poked at a cuticle. “Not… while conscious.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” Patrick said.

David remained quiet.

“How about when you’ve been with women?” Patrick asked, assuming they’d only been talking about when David had sex with men.

“I’ve always chosen to use a condom, Patrick.” David clarified for him.

They were quiet again.

Patrick sipped on his whiskey. “So… what do you… um… what do you think about it?”

“It’s going to be much messier; you know that right?” David said bluntly remembering how embarrassed Patrick had gotten in situations when their sex was spontaneous and unplanned. When whomever was the bottom hadn’t had time to prepare themselves and they had to deal with… untidy situations. 

Patrick shook his head and shrugged. Challenging David. “So?”

“Just saying.” David tilted his head. Sipped on his wine.

Patrick looked at him. “Does messy sex bother you?”

“Of course not.” David said.

Patrick nodded.

“Does it bother you?” David asked him. Challenged him.

Patrick shot a look at him. Didn’t respond.

They were quiet until Patrick spoke again. “I read about possible increase in UTIs.”

“I got the email.” David rolled his eyes.

Patrick had been sending him links to articles he’d read in medical journals and other publications about studies that had been done on the health of gay men in committed relationships who chose to stop using condoms. Some that discussed increased intimacy, others that discussed increased medical issues. And, to David’s dismay, there were _a lot_ of articles out there for Patrick to read. _A lot._

“Not just UTIs. There are other, more difficult to treat bacterial infections one can get when they raw-dog it.” Patrick stared over David’s shoulder at the wall.

“OK.” David’s voice indicated he was done talking about infections. “And seriously, Patrick. _Raw-dog_? We are not calling it _that_.”

Patrick chuckled. Knowing the use of the phrase would get a rise out of David.

Quiet again. Sipping drinks. Looking at each other. Wondering what the other was thinking.

Patrick stood. One hand in his pocket. He swallowed the rest of his whiskey. Took his glass to the sink. Leaned against it. Nowhere in David’s line of sight, as David was facing the fireplace.  
  
“So… do you need for me to go on PrEP? Would that help?” He asked David. He looked down at his sock-covered feet. Wiggled his toes.

“Why would I need for you to go on PrEP?” David shook his head, rotated on the couch so he faced toward the kitchen. Held his empty wine glass out to Patrick who crossed the room to get it. He set it down in the sink. Turned back around. Leaned against the sink again.

“I guess I just thought you might want me to.” Patrick told him.

“You don’t have the high-risk lifestyle that would make you a candidate.” David shook his head.

Patrick tried to hide his annoyance. He walked toward the couch. Stood at the end of it. David looked up at Patrick.

It was clear that Patrick was tense as he began to speak. “David. Neither do you. It just doesn’t… I mean, it doesn’t seem to make sense if you’re on it and I’m not…”

“I’m not on it.” David interrupted him.

The exhalation from Patrick was audible. Shock. Disbelief. Frustration. “What?!” Patrick’s voice sounded more accusing and angrier than he was.

David visibly recoiled.

Patrick held out a hand. Immediately apologized. “Sorry, David. That sounded harsher than I intended. I’m sorry… I’m… this is new information to me. I thought you went on PrEP… I _remember_ when you went on it. You were so sick.”

“I did. I was.” David spoke softly and nodded.

Patrick jammed both his hands into his pockets. Rocked back on his heels. Waited for more information.

Neither man said a word.

“David, I’m waiting for more information.” Patrick told him.

“You’re right. I was sick,” David nodded. “It was supposed to get better in about a month’s time. It didn’t. I was into my second month of it. You remember? I was sick every day.”

Patrick worked to keep his voice calm. Worked to not express the frustration he felt. “Of course, I remember. I was worried about you. I begged you to reconsider the med.” He moved to the couch. Sat down beside David. Faced forward. Faced the fireplace.

“You were right. I just decided it wasn’t worth it. We were using condoms and…” David stopped talking suddenly. He shrugged. Out of words. Or maybe he had a plethora of words he didn’t want to express.

Patrick turned suddenly. Faced David. His voice no longer hiding his annoyance. “So, you’ve been lying to me?”

“How was it a lie? You never asked if I was still on it. After I went off it, I didn’t lie to you. I just didn’t say I was on it.” David immediately shot back at him. Defensive.

“But you kept it from me.” Patrick said. And the moment the words were out of his mouth, he heard them. Heard what he said to David. Saw the irony that David would not see. Yet.

Neither man spoke. Both thinking. Both feeling the anger beginning to brew between them.

“This was why I didn’t want to talk about it,” David told him. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Just keep talking. We’ll work through it.” Patrick said. Committed to getting through the conversation.

Quiet again. Both afraid to speak.

David moved in his seat. Tucked his legs underneath himself, again. His arms crossed over his chest. Patrick sat, leaning back against the arm of the couch. Turned to face David. One arm flung over the back of the couch. His other hand reached for David’s knee. His finger brushed against David’s skin that poked out of the tear in his jeans.

“Sorry, David. You didn’t have to tell me. It’s your body. And decisions you decide to make for yourself are yours. If you weren’t ready to tell me… it’s OK.” Patrick told him.

David reached for Patrick’s hand. Held it in both of his.

“It’s just… I thought about it?” David’s voice was soft. He paused.

Patrick waited. His thumb brushed against the side of David’s hand.

David continued. “I realized… you weren’t on it...”

“Are you saying you wanted me to take it?” Patrick interrupted him.

“No.” David shook his head.

“What are you saying?” Patrick’s voice was gentle. Encouraging.

“I don’t know if I can put it into words,” David’s voice sounded exhausted.

“Try.” Patrick encouraged him.

“In therapy?” David started then stopped.

Patrick held his breath. David hadn’t really told him much about what he talked about in therapy.

David’s voice was nearly a whisper. “In therapy? We talk about you.”

“OK.” Patrick responded. Of course, he wanted to know more, but he knew if he asked questions about it, he would derail where David was going.

“We talk about you and me. And… our relationship.” David told him.

David eyed Patrick. Watched him nod silently.

“We talk about where my trust is with you. How much trust I have in you.” David’s eyes landed everywhere in the room but on Patrick.

“Do I get to know that? How much you trust me?” Patrick asked.

“I trust you.” David said, finally meeting Patrick’s eyes with his own. “Patrick, you _know_ I trust you.”

Patrick huffed out a laugh “Why do I feel like there’s a _but_ in there?”

“Because there is.” David said. He tried not to feel badly about the fact that it was that moment that Patrick withdrew his hand from David’s hold.

Patrick stood. Went back to the sink. Filled a glass with water and drank it.

David gave him time with the words. She had told him when he finally told Patrick this information, that Patrick would need time with it.

Patrick struggled with the overwhelming desire to walk out the door in that moment. Deep down, he _knew_ that David didn’t fully trust him. But hearing that he talked about it in therapy. Hearing him express it, caused a deep ache in Patrick’s chest. He wanted to leave the room. Spend time alone. He didn’t want to hear more.

He turned and leaned against the sink. Planted his feet firmly. “What’s the _but_ , David?”

“That I had a trauma in my young adulthood. I didn’t deal with that trauma in a healthy way… I wasn’t wired to deal with that trauma in a healthy way. And the person… the lovely, caring, generous person… who helped me through it, taught me some very… unhealthy ways of looking at relationships. And I carry that baggage with me. It’s an inherent distrust I’ve had in all of my intimate relationships. And I project it on to you, which causes me to...” David stopped before saying it. He worked hard to use all the non-emotional therapeutic words he had to explain a very emotional reaction. He couldn’t say the words that he knew would gut Patrick.

“Trixie taught you to not trust anyone but yourself, and so you don’t completely trust me.” Patrick rephrased David’s statement. Finishing the words that David couldn’t bring himself say.

“Basically.” David nodded. His voice barely above a whisper.

“Does that mean you didn’t trust me when I made that promise to you months ago? When you made me promise that I would never have sex outside of this relationship without using a condom?” Patrick wanted to clarify where the distrust was.

“Yes.” David left hand worried the rings on his right.

“Does it mean you didn’t trust me when I promised you the other night that I wouldn’t ever contact Toby again…?”

David nodded.

“Does it mean you don’t trust me when I tell you that you are the love of my life?” Patrick’s voice broke with emotion as he asked the question.

“No. I trust that. I trust that, Patrick. I don’t doubt that you love me.” David told him.

“When I told you that I would do everything in my power to make the store successful?”

“I believe that. I trust that.” David’s eyes locked with his.

“So, it’s about sex. The trust is about my fidelity to you in regard to our sexual relationship.” Patrick clarified.

Patrick crossed his arms over his chest. Dropped his head. Stared at his socks.

David stood. Pulled his sweater down at the hem. Walked to stand in front of Patrick.

“Logically? I trust you.” David’s fingertips gently brushed against Patrick’s bare forearms. “Emotionally? I trust you.”

Patrick’s head still lowered, he looked up at David. Big brown eyes. Questioning him.

“I love you, Patrick.” David told him. His hands moved to Patrick’s biceps. Squeezed him.

“I know you do. I don’t question that.” Patrick told him. Struggling, in his mind, to justify hearing that he was loved and trusted with the fact that he wasn’t _entirely_ trusted.

David leaned closer to him. His forehead against Patrick’s. “I love you.” He told him again, on a whisper.

“I love you.” Patrick told him.

They stood in silence. Patrick’s arms still crossed over his chest, protectively. David’s forehead pressed against Patrick’s. His hands moved from Patrick’s arms to Patrick’s chest. He rubbed him there.

David pulled back. Stood in front of Patrick. His hands still on Patrick’s chest. “I think there’s more I need to tell you.” He said.

Patrick’s brow furrowed. “OK?” He said with a question in his voice.

“I need to sit.” David moved and sat in the arm chair nearest the bathroom.

Patrick sat on the couch opposite him. Perched on the edge of his seat. His elbows on his knees. He eyed David.

“What I tell you… Patrick? I need you to keep it between us. Always. Just between us.” David said.

“Of course.” Patrick didn’t hesitate to agree.

“And… I also don’t want you to bring it up to me. I don’t want it to be something we argue about, or something that you bring up as a way to point out my flaws. I don’t… I don’t want to really talk about it.” David was hesitant. But he knew it was a way to show his trust in Patrick. His therapist had encouraged him to have this talk as a way for him to move forward.

“You got it. Anything you say.” Patrick agreed without knowing what he was about to hear. Anything for David.

“And… I don’t want you to judge anyone. What I tell you, I need you to just hear it. Not judge it or not… try to … fix it.” David cautioned as he waved his hand between the two of them.

“I won’t.” Patrick quickly said.

“Patrick you always try to fix it. I don’t want that. I need to be able to…”

Patrick cut him off. “I’m just listening. I understand.”

“I’d been operating under the belief that my issues were a result of the trauma from this one-time event that happened the week I turned 21.” David said.

Patrick shrugged. He really knew nothing other than David once disclosing to him that his sentence, the sentence that he used to start therapy, was that he was sexually assaulted the week he turned 21. Other than that, Patrick was completely in the dark.

“Through discussion. Talking through my history with her, I’ve learned that it’s likely I was making a series of bad choices in my teenage and young adult years because of earlier… issues.” David waved his hands in front of himself, “Not that the assault was my fault. It wasn’t. But there’s more… stuff… to consider than just the assault.”

“Are you saying you were abused as a child?” Patrick sat back. Leaned back into the couch.

“No. No, no. I wasn’t abused. There was no abuse. Ever. I was safe.” David nodded. Then added, “Well cared for.”

Patrick watched David’s eyes. Watched him look at nothing in the distance. Watched David’s face.

“My parents are good people, Patrick. I don’t want you to think they aren’t.” David shook his head. Still looking at something that wasn’t even in the room.

“I know. I know they are.” Patrick said.

“So… in therapy… I learned about attachment. Kids… babies… have different experiences with attachment depending on their personalities and the types of parenting they receive.”

Patrick’s eyes never left David’s face. He wanted to go to him. Hold him while he talked, but he knew if he did, David would stop speaking. “You want to explain them to me?”

“I need my journal,” David said abruptly. “I made notes in my journal.”

Patrick immediately moved to retrieve David’s bag that sat near the closet. He turned around and David was standing there, beside the bed.

Patrick put the bag on the bed. Watched David dig through his bag until he found his journal.  
  
David moved his bag to the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. Patted the mattress beside himself. Patrick sat beside him.

“I took notes in therapy on this. I do more than bullet list.” David nudged Patrick with his elbow. A slight grin curved his lips.

Patrick sat quietly. Knowing that David had worked to prepare whatever it was he was going to disclose.

“OK. This stays only here. Always.” David felt the need to say again.

“Always.” Patrick nodded.

David opened his journal and leafed through until he was about mid-way through it. He put his hand on the pages and then looked at Patrick.

“First, I learned that kids attach. It’s not like I didn’t form attachments. It’s that there’s different forms? Like… kids attach. Unless they’re really… you know… abused and nobody ever touches them or cares for them. So, I’m not talking about that.” David told him.

Patrick scooted further back on the bed. Crossed his feet under himself. Elbows on his knees. Leaning forward and listening. Trying to track what David was saying while he rambled.

“And… parents all do things differently. And how they respond to their kids impacts how they grow up to attach to… people.” David told him.

“Makes sense.” Patrick nodded.

“And, I guess? A lot of people think that people… babies… either attach or they don’t? But that’s not exactly right.” David told him.

“OK,” Patrick nodded again. He’d never really thought about it.

“So, there may be a lot of different types, but… basically… we talked about four ways parents respond to their babies.” David flipped through his journal. “I wrote them down. Just a second.”

Then David turned his journal to show Patrick a page. The page had a chart drawn on it. Two columns. Two rows. The four boxes created by the chart were filled with words written in David’s neat, meticulous handwriting. David quietly concentrated on the page, then flipped to another page.

Patrick held his smile as he watched David’s excitement over sharing the information with Patrick. That moment was the first time David really opened up with him. Shared with him about what had been discussed in his months of being in therapy.

“OK. First there’s Secure attachment. Like the mom is quick to pick up her crying baby and does what that baby needs. Feeds it. Kisses it. Sings to it. Always. Without fail. Like… she _always_ responds when her baby needs her and her baby learns that he can trust his needs are going to be met.”

“Secure. OK.” Patrick said.

“That’s like the Marcy and Patrick Brewer box.” David said. He turned his journal toward Patrick again and pointed at the word “Secure” in one of the boxes.

Patrick smiled. Watched David.

“The kid who is raised like that is secure. They always know they’re safe. They always know that their needs will be met by their parent. So, they feel safe to go off and explore things and know that no matter what back home the parents love them and support them and will be there for them.”

Patrick nodded.

“And they like their parents more than strangers when they’re little. Like they may be OK with a stranger, but when they’re hurt or scared, they want Mom,” David continued.

“OK.”

“And it’s not just moms. It’s dads. It’s whoever is… what did she call it?” David flipped to another page in his notes. “The primary caregiver.”

“Primary caregiver.” Patrick nodded.

“You know… sometimes it’s the grandparent or something. Whoever is the one raising the kid. Putting them to bed at night, tending to their wounds, making their meals… all of that.” David said. His voice showing his deep interest in the topic.

“OK.” Patrick nodded.

“And in the study she showed me? I know… you like studies, I can send it to you if you want… about 65% of all kids have that kind of parent. That kind of attachment.” David told him.

“Only sixty-five?” Patrick’s voice sounded sad.

“Yeah.” David nodded. Then added sarcastically, “You can do the math. 35% of us weren’t raised by Marcy and Clint Brewer.”

Patrick chuckled and nodded his head. He watched the excitement travel over David’s face as he shared the information.

“The next type of response is called Avoidant.” David turned his journal again to Patrick and pointed at the word on another box on the chart.

“Avoidant.” Patrick said quietly. Eyed David for any sign that Patrick should worry.

“Here, there’s still attachment, but it’s called Passive attachment. The mom… or, primary caregiver… is mostly disengaged. Like her whole goal with her kid is to teach independence and she does that by just not responding. She has this theory of letting the kid figure it out. Soothe themself. If the baby shows distress, the mom doesn’t do much… if anything... to soothe it.”

“Why?” Patrick asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe because she’s selfish, or ill. Or maybe she does it because she thinks she’s raising an independent kid that way? I don’t really know.” David said.

“So… what does that do to the baby?” Patrick asked.

David fingers ran down his hand-written notes. “Well, they don’t believe their needs will be met if they cry so they don’t cry. Then, the mom thinks the baby doesn’t have needs and how not responding must be working. But really, all that happened was that baby learned that if they cry it didn’t matter, so why cry? You know?”

  
“OK.” Patrick wanted to say that it was sad to hear that information. But he was realizing that David likely was going to fall into one of these categories and Patrick didn’t want to label anything as bad. So, he just listened.

“Oh… and these kids? Like a stranger was just as good as a parent to them. Like it didn’t matter. If they were scared or hurt themselves. A stranger could try to help or the parent and… it was just someone there. Neither was better than the other.”

Patrick’s brows furrowed. “What percentage of kids?”

“20%.” David told him.

“Whew. That’s a lot.” Patrick said.

“Yeah.” David said.

He scrolled through his notes.

“The next one is Ambivalent attachment. This mom’s behavior is inconsistent. So, like in the other one? The mom always avoided the child, right? This one? The kid doesn’t know what to expect. The mom might sometimes be super sensitive and attentive… maybe overbearing… and other times just fucking neglectful. Just like not even there. Or maybe she’s there, but she’s… emotionally not there. And this is really upsetting to the baby because they don’t know. Like if I cry this time will she come or will she not. Sometimes she comes and it’s good and loving and kind. And other times she’s not there.” David held his hands up in front of himself as if to indicate emptiness.

Patrick pressed his lips together and nodded. He could tell that by David’s passionate description that it was likely that this was the category that mostly resembled his relationship with his mother.

“What do the kids grow up like?” Patrick asked.

“They’re anxious. Insecure. Sometimes quick to anger. As babies, they don’t comfort easily. They just… have trouble relying on their caregivers to meet their needs because they can’t trust that they’ll always be there.”

“I see.” Patrick took in the information. His brow furrowed. He wanted to ask more, but thought better of it for the moment.

“About 10% of kids… maybe 15%.” David told Patrick before he could ask.

Patrick did the math in his head. “That means there’s another category?”

“It’s a sad one.” David said.

“The others aren’t sad?” Patrick asked.

“Not like this one.” David said. “It’s called Disorganized attachment.”

Patrick waited. Watched David look at his notes.

David set his journal on his lap.

“Kids who are abused still love their parents. They still attach. Most of them anyway. Like… it’s their mom, right? Or dad. Or whomever. Anyway, they want to please them and love them. And… so the attachment is called disorganized because they never know what to expect. Like the parent can be really scary mean, or intrusive, or passive and neglectful. Or maybe even attentive sometimes. But just like… never ever the same and that poor kid doesn’t know what to expect from one minute to the next.”

“That’s 10 to 15% of kids?”

“Mmmm” David nodded his head.

“What happens to them? What are they like as they grow up?”

“Super confused. No way to know how to get their needs met. Depressed. Angry. Can’t make connections with other people. Just like… removed.”

“God.” Patrick whispered.

“And how babies attach kind of determines how their relationships will be when they get older. They can… I mean… other things impact it. Someone can be raised by a Marcy Brewer and still end up somehow being a real asshole to their life partner. And, someone can be raised in an abusive home and do work… therapy and, you know, work… and end up being in a healthy, attached relationship.” David explained.

“OK.” Patrick nodded.

“But,” David continued, “For the most part, the first relationships in a child’s life kind of… dictate… what they do later,” David said. Then he added, “Unless, you know, they work on it.”

“I understand.” Patrick said.

“What I learned in therapy is that how we attach helps set our brains, and determines how we relate to others and make decisions as we get older.” David told him.

“Makes sense I guess.” Patrick shrugged. Listening intently.

“Not completely, I suppose? I mean… teenagers are still going to be teenagers. Like I said, even a kid raised by someone like your parents could still make really bad decisions. So… it’s not like this is the whole reason people do what they do? But, because I had the connections I did, my therapist thinks I was able to do some of the things I did as a teenager and a young adult… like be able to do basically whatever I wanted… that put me more at risk.” David said.

“I see.” Patrick’s eyes did not leave David’s face.

“Not that it was my fault. The assault. It isn’t the… it’s not the victim’s fault. It’s _never_ the victim’s fault. It’s important you know that.” David told him.

“I hear you, David. I understand.”

“There’s more. Or is this…too much?” David asked him. His hand circling over his journal.

“I want to learn everything you want to teach me.” Patrick said honestly.

David turned to face Patrick. Sat in a similar pose. His legs pulled up under himself. Resting his elbows on his knees. He set his journal on the mattress between them, opened to a page full of notes. 

“I guess I want to say that just because someone wasn’t raised like you were? Just because someone’s parents weren’t Clint and Marcy Brewer? It doesn’t mean they weren’t well-cared for. It doesn’t mean they weren’t loved.” David said frankly.

“I understand that,” Patrick said.

“And a lot of how a person is when they have a baby? A lot of things impact that. Like how they, themselves, were parented. Or their environment. Social and cultural norms. That kind of thing.” David’s hands were waving around in from of himself.

Patrick nodded. Not exactly following what David was saying, but knowing that David would tell him what he needed him to know. His eyes moved from David’s eyes to follow where David’s finger trailed over his notes.

“And two siblings? They could have _very different_ kinds of attachment because they might have… been parented differently? Or they might have attached differently to their parent.”

Patrick realized that David was laying some groundwork. He stayed quiet.

“So, see this chart?” David pointed at another hand drawn chart.

“Yeah.”

“First, keep in mind that nobody fits perfectly in a box. Nobody. And these are just a few notes about the description.” David clarified.

“OK,” Patrick nodded.

David turned his journal so that it faced Patrick. He explained that the two categories on the top were categories that tended to have low levels of emotional avoidance while the categories on the bottom tended to have high levels of emotional avoidance. And the categories on one side of the chart were more likely to have anxiety with relationships while the other side had lower levels of anxiety in relationships.

“So, clearly you would fall into this area.” David swirled his finger over the box labeled as Secure attachment. “You don’t live there completely. You know that you sometimes act out when you’re triggered.”

David noticed the look on Patrick’s face. He knew Patrick didn’t like what he had heard.

Patrick wanted to argue, but knew he was only supposed to be listening.

“Calling Toby to fix the sink,” David said bluntly.

Patrick pressed his lips together and nodded once. “Noted.”

“My therapist and I believe I fall into this category.” David tapped the page of his journal.

“Anxious,” Patrick said.

“That’s correct,” David nodded.

“As a result of having a _primary caregiver_ who was sometimes absent and sometimes very invasive,” Patrick said quietly.

“Correct,” David said.

“And… I don’t want to go into a lot of detail here? Because it’s her life and not ours to really dissect? But I think probably Alexis falls here, in the Avoidant Dismissive category,” David brushed his hand over the lower box on his paper.

“Two siblings can have experiences that are so different?” Patrick asked.

“Apparently, yes. But, I think I don’t have to tell you that. You’ve seen my family.”

Patrick nodded quietly. Not wanting to say anything wrong in the moment.

“So other things impact where we fall. Adelina, for example.” David said. He pulled his arms around himself. His eyes never leaving the journal that sat between them.

Patrick watched him pull into himself for the first time since they began the conversation. “Your nanny.”

David nodded. Waited a moment before he spoke.

“While she was there? She gave us as close to a secure relationship that she could, I think? But she wasn’t there all the time. I mean… she was paid staff.” David shrugged. “There were other nannies. She was just the main one. And they… weren’t all like her. They weren’t all… nice.”

They sat quietly again.

Patrick had a question nagging at him. He mustered the courage to ask it.

“How does your dad figure into all of this?” Patrick asked.

“He parented me the way Mom did?” David squinted one eye as he tilted his head and looked at Patrick.

Then he paused.

“I don’t know… I don’t know that I ever will know it all. But I think she told him what to do and he did it. That is… when he was there. When either of them was there, really.” David said quietly

“Do you want to ask them? Talk to them about it?” Patrick asked.

David quickly shook his head a couple of times. “No point, really. I don’t want them to think I blame them for anything, because I don’t. We’ve come so far, Patrick. Since moving to Schitt’s Creek? Since being forced to live… there? At the motel? We’ve just developed…”

David stopped talking.

He abruptly shut his journal. He stood and then bent over to his drawer in Patrick’s dresser. Pulled out some bedclothes.  
  
“I’m going to go shower. Get ready for bed.” He glanced at, but didn’t let his eyes linger long on Patrick.

“OK.” Patrick watched him go. Knowing that David had just opened up to him more than he had since their time away at the cabin. Those four days after their first dark period.

It was absolutely the most he’d ever talked about his family history. Their relationships.

Patrick wasn’t exactly sure what it all had to do with condoms and trust, but he thought he could piece it together and get there. Or, he’d just have to keep the conversation going and get David to tell him the rest of it.

Either way he’d be patient. Because that’s what David needed from him.

Patient Patrick.

++++++

When Patrick left the bathroom, he wore only his thin, light-blue, cotton pajama pants. The lights in the apartment were out. David was in bed. Likely not asleep, but acting like it. Patrick knew David did that when he didn’t want to talk. Patrick gave him the space he was non-verbally asking for.

Patrick sat on his own side of the bed, blanket up over his legs. Turned on his bedside light. Reached for his book.

He read a few pages before David moved.

David rolled over and scooted closer to Patrick. Pulled his pillow closer. Turned toward Patrick and pressed his forehead against Patrick’s hip. Draped his arm over Patrick’s lap.

“Want me to shut out the light?” Patrick asked.

“No.” David’s voice was muffled as his face was pressed into his pillow near Patrick’s leg.

Patrick turned the page in his book and continued reading.

David moved his hand. Tucked it just inside Patrick’s thigh.

Patrick raised his book a little. Looked down at David’s hand. Watched David’s finger reach out and lightly brush against the crotch of Patrick’s pajamas. Patrick’s dick immediately responded to what it knew David was doing.

Patrick moved his book back into place and made every attempt to begin reading again. But, of course he couldn’t.

“If you’re awake, I kinda feel like we need to finish our conversation,” Patrick said. He set his book on the table beside his bed. Reached to shut out the light.

“I’m not awake,” David said in a quiet voice.

“Mmm,” Patrick made a noise while he lowered himself down in the bed. Turned toward David who was all but in Patrick’s space in the bed. “So, your hand was sleep-walking?”

“It does that sometimes,” David said, with a smile in his voice.

Patrick rested his head in his hand, his elbow propping him up. His hand settled, at first, on David’s hip, but then slid around to rub his back through his cotton t-shirt. “So where did we settle on the condom issue?”

“I think we try it without and see what we think?” David told him. “You?”

“I think if you want to, we can. But I’m serious, David. I’ll use them forever if it is what you want.”

“I need to try to work past it. Maybe we’ll use them later? But I need us to do it a time or two.” David told him.

“I want to wait until I get back from visiting my folks.” Patrick told him.

“Why?” David asked him.

“I told you. I don’t want to be gone after. I want to be here.” Patrick told him the half-truth. Already feeling guilty about the lie. Knowing he should just tell him everything, but fearful that David was in no state of mind to hear that Patrick didn’t have the internal fortitude to tell his parents that he was in love with a man.

“So, in the meantime?” David asked. His fingers tracing invisible lines and circles over Patrick’s chest.

“Well, we only have one more night before I leave. In the meantime, there are other things we can do,” Patrick’s hand drifted lower. Cupping David’s ass cheek through the thin, white cotton pajama pants he wore.

“I don’t really feel like doing anything tonight. I’m kinda tired. Drained.” David said as his finger circled Patrick’s nipple. Teased it.

“You’re about to start a launch sequence. If you don’t want a blast-off, it’s probably best if you stop that,” Patrick’s hand tucked inside the back of David’s pajamas.

“Do you think I’m too much?” David asked him, completely changing the subject. David’s hand stilled. Dropped to the mattress between them.

Patrick withdrew his hand from David’s ass. Settled it back on David’s back. “Too much of what?”

“Just… too much. Too many issues. Too much trouble?” David looked up at Patrick. Solemn. Open. Vulnerable.

“David, you’re a lot. But in a good way. I love how much you are.” Patrick told him.

“Do you think my family is too much?” David asked him.

“Your family is great.”

“Do you think that we’re dysfunctional? My family?” David rolled onto his back. Looked into the darkness toward the ceiling.

“David, I don’t know anyone who could go through what your family has and still be as functional as you all are.” Patrick said.

“I need you to say more about that,” David told him. “Please.” His hand reached for Patrick’s.

Patrick’s fingers intertwined with David’s.

“You moved from… a mansion… or whatever. Into two rooms. David, you went from having your gallery and your loft to… not having that. Your parents went from their jobs, their fame… to not having any of that. And you all… I don’t know, David. It seems like you clung to each other and helped each other through it.” Patrick told him.

David was quiet.

“David you have to have a functional family to do that,” Patrick said. “Seems to me you had to have something of a foundation to help you through that.”

David’s fingers squeezed Patrick’s hand tightly.

Patrick lowered himself. Rested his head on his pillow near David’s. David rolled toward him. Their faces close together.

“You don’t think we’re broken?” David asked him. His voice a quiet whisper.

“You don’t tell me much about your past, David? But, I think maybe… you _were_ broken?” Patrick decided to be as honest as he could be. “But I think your family is really strong together. You show up for one another, Babe. Broken families… I don’t think they do that.”

David nodded his head. Stayed quiet.

“David, I’ve never heard you complain about the situation.”

David tilted his head back so he could focus on Patrick’s face.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Patrick couldn’t pass up an opportunity to tease him. “You complain. A lot.” He smiled at David.

David lightly smacked Patrick’s chest.

“You don’t complain that you live where you do. You don’t complain that you don’t have the money you once had. You just… keep going. When we were first getting to know each other…” Patrick stopped talking while he thought about those early days.

“What? Tell me.” David said.

“I just barely knew you. I googled you. I read about… what happened.” Patrick admitted.

David had always assumed, but they’d never really talked about it.

“Ray had… before our appointment? Before I met you that day… Ray had filled me in on who was coming. I knew, of course, some things. But after I met you, I dug deeper for a bit.” Patrick told him.

“And?” David asked him.

“And I just remember being impressed as hell at how decent and kind you were.” Patrick didn’t hesitate to say.

David reached a hand for Patrick’s face. Cupped his cheek. “Well… you had a crush on me… so...”

“I did.” Patrick leaned down and kissed David. A sweet, lingering kiss.

“You don’t think badly of my parents after what we talked about tonight?” David asked him, his hand reaching again for Patrick’s.

“Whatever your parents did… however they raised you? They helped make you into the man I’m in love with. How could I think badly of them? They’re your family. You love them.” Patrick told him honestly. His thumb rubbed the side of David’s hand.

“That didn’t answer my question,” David pointed out.

“I don’t think badly of them David,” Patrick clarified.

David nodded.

“Thank you for trusting me with that conversation tonight,” Patrick told him. He nuzzled David’s cheek. Another kiss.

“I think… maybe… I need to tell you about that night,” David said.

“OK,” Patrick squeezed David’s hand.

“Not tonight.”

“Whenever you want,” Patrick told him.

David moved his hand back to Patrick’s face. His thumb brushed Patrick’s chin. “How did I get so lucky?”

“What do you mean?” Patrick asked, knowing what David meant but wanting… needing… to hear it.

“I’m glad you came into my life when you did.” David told him.

“Oh my god, David. I feel the same way about you,” Patrick told him.

David’s hand reached behind Patrick’s head and pulled him close. Their kiss was the kind of kiss that two soulmates share. Lips pressed together. No real need or desire to pull apart.

Slow.

Gentle.

A kiss of attachment. A secure attachment that would last their whole lives.

+++

End of chapter

+++

**Information About Attachment**

_(for readers who are interested)_

Below are the charts that David used in his talk with Patrick: 

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/190585050@N03/50455197921/in/dateposted-public/)

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/190585050@N03/50455366517/in/dateposted-public/)

For those interested in reading more about attachment and its impact on relationships, here are two brief blogs that may be helpful to you. I have nothing to do with the Momentous Institute. I happened across these two blog posts when looking for visuals to add to this chapter. I feel like they break it all down very nicely for those who want to learn more. 

[What is Attachment (A blog on the Momentous Institute)](https://momentousinstitute.org/blog/what-is-attachment)

[How Our Own Attachment Style Impacts Our Relationships (A blog on the Momentous Institute)](https://momentousinstitute.org/blog/how-our-own-attachment-style-impacts-our-relationships)


	27. Patrick’s Surprise (MTP): Part 1 of 6 – The Birthday Before the Real Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick spend the evening together to celebrate Patrick's birthday. It is the evening before Patrick is scheduled to leave town to spend the weekend with his parents (in Patrick's version of the events). Meanwhile, David is doing all he can to keep his secret and wait for Patrick's parents to call to cancel his trip home, because (in David's version of the events) there will be a big, happy, surprise party the following evening. Then, the morning of Patrick's REAL BIRTHDAY, David gives Patrick a special start to his day before he goes to talk to Alexis and his parents to let them in on his secret plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is part 1 of 6 chapters. It takes place prior to and just as 5.11 starts.
> 
> +++
> 
> Ok, Friends. If we're going to meet the parents, we are going to MEET THE PARENTS, PD style. I've plotted, I've planned, I've written. And it amounts to six chapters (right around 42,000 words before final edits - for those of you keeping track *Winking face emoji*). From the moment I first watched the episode back in March 2019, this episode has resided in my brain. From time to time, I've written notes about what I wanted to do with it. And so, now that my opportunity is here, I took my time. I stretched it out, and I did what I do. I put a lot of words and emotions down. 
> 
> Some of you may want to wait until all 6 chapters are posted (that is completely understandable). But I've cut it up into digestible parts for those of you who might feel a bit of comfort in new LOL Chapters during this stressful time. 
> 
> I'd like to think I'd have spent this much time on it were we not in the situation we are in as a desperate and broken nation. I can say that working on this story for the past few weeks as intensely as I have has been a source of self-care for me. It's allowed me to plunge, head-first, into this world of fiction and forget the troubles around me - if only for the time I am writing. 
> 
> Some of you have written me in the past week or two. Checking in and letting me know how you are doing. It's rough right now. Anxiety is on the rise and we all are uncertain about what the coming weeks/months will hold. We are in this together (even our friends who live in other countries are collectively holding their breath and watching us, thinking of us, hoping for the best). We can do this. We will make it through. 
> 
> I've cast my vote - I hope I see in the comment section that you have done so as well. Now we wait. 
> 
> In the meantime, I commit to you that I have 6 chapters (5 after this one) that I will work to post regularly (more than one chapter each week). So that my version of this story will not hang out there unfinished and within the next 2-3 weeks it will be posted in it's entirety. 
> 
> +++
> 
> I recall having a conversation with someone on twitter about baseball cards from Patrick's youth and Marcy's refrigerator. I wish I could remember who that person was, because I'd mention them here (It is entirely possible that the person is not one of my readers). It was a fun conversation and I used it as a jumping off point for something I wrote into these chapters. 
> 
> Also, thanks again to Instagram's Schitt's Sheets for providing me photographic evidence of the baseball cards (or, more specifically that there were no details/data on the back). It cut down on some of my work/words. 
> 
> And to my closest friends who have dealt with my absence/near silence over the past two weeks - I thank you for understanding my silence. Thank you for being cool when I cut out of a conversation with an "I've got to go write." I apologize if I've let you down by not being more present. 
> 
> +++
> 
> I hope you all take care of yourselves and each other. And I hope that this little set of chapters does something... anything... to help you get through it. 
> 
> Love to you.  
> PD

++++++

It was Thursday. Patrick’s birthday was the following day. He was, in his version of the events, going to be headed out of town before dawn the following morning. David was slated to take care of the store all day Friday and on Saturday. He’d also take care of the store on Monday, as Patrick was due back Monday afternoon. Patrick was excited to be going home for four days. Three nights in his old bedroom. A family barbecue. Time with his dad doing chores in the barn. Time with his mom at the piano. But the big thing that Patrick had been anticipating was telling his parents. Looking them in the eyes. Coming out to them. He’d practiced the lines over and over for weeks.  
  
 _Mom. Dad. I’m gay. When I met David something in me clicked and it all suddenly made sense. I fell in love with him. We’ve been together for nearly a year. I want you to meet him in person. Get to know him. I want to propose to him. I want to be with him. Forever._

++++++

It was Thursday. Patrick’s birthday was the following day. David was, in his version of the events, a fucking nervous wreck. Patrick’s parents were supposed to have called him to tell him they needed him to cancel his trip home. They had not yet done so. The plan was for them to break the news so that Patrick stayed in town, because before dawn on Friday, they were going to leave their home and head for Schitt’s Creek. David had nearly everything set. He, of course, had not yet told his own family. They couldn’t keep a secret if it meant saving their own lives. He was bound and determined to give Patrick the surprise birthday he’d never had. And everything was planned down to the smallest detail. With the exception of the phone call. He had failed to ask Mr. Brewer when he’d be calling Patrick to disappoint him.

So, every time the phone rang, or Patrick’s text alert went off, David’s heart jumped in his chest and he stood at alert to act surprised and disappointed for his boyfriend.

++++++

Mid-afternoon, David sidled up to him. One arm around Patrick’s back. One hand pressed to Patrick’s chest. “How about while you’re at rehearsal later, I run into Elmdale and pick us up a special dinner and then we can be at your place for me to give you your birthday gift tonight?”

“Why don’t we just go to the café?” Patrick asked. “Or just order from there and take it home? It’s easier.”

“HmMm.” David shook his head. “No. Can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Patrick asked him.

“Salmonella.” David nodded his head; made a face of disgust. “Nasty cases being reported.”

“Oh yeah? We ate there for lunch yesterday.” Patrick said.

“I know.” David rubbed his belly. “I think I feel gross.”

“You know?” Patrick nodded. “I kind of do too, now that I think about it.”

David controlled his urge to roll his eyes. “Well… see? We can’t eat there. Need to stay away for a few days. Far away.”

++++++

While Patrick was at rehearsal, David worked alone at the store. He boxed up the online orders with plans to take them to the post office the following day. He swept floors, cleaned the restroom, took out the trash.

Amy called. She told him she was excited about seeing him and coming to the party. She told him that she hadn’t seen Terri so excited about a party in a long time. She was looking forward to seeing Patrick. Hanging out with him.

Amy told David they thought they’d save a trip and bring a truck-load of product; she wondered if David had room. Though he wasn’t thrilled at the inconvenience of having to deal with an influx of inventory while preparing for the party, he knew better than to tell her that. Amy was his top-performing vendor and if she wanted to bring a truck full of product, he would make sure it happened. He’d make room, he told her. No problem at all.

And so, after closing the store, David went to the back-storage room and moved boxes around in order for there to be room for the boxes that would come the following day.

Before he realized the time, his phone was vibrating with a text from Patrick.

_Boyfriend (6:03 pm):_

‘Rehearsal is over on time!’

_You (6:03 pm):_

‘Wow!’ *Astonished face emoji*

_Boyfriend (6:03 pm):_

‘You in Elmdale?’

‘What’s for dinner?’

_You (6:03 pm):_

_‘_ Still at store. Haven’t left yet.’

_Boyfriend (6:04 pm):_

‘Everything OK?’

_You (6:04 pm):_

_‘_ Yup. Just got busy. Didn’t look at time.’

_Boyfriend (6:04 pm):_

‘I can go get dinner.’

_You (6:04 pm):_

_‘_ It’s your bday celebration. I want to do it.’

_Boyfriend (6:05 pm):_

‘I can take you out.’

_You (6:05 pm):_

_‘_ Go home. Put your feet up. I’ll bring dinner.’

_Boyfriend (6:05 pm):_

‘You sure?’

_You (6:05 pm):_

_‘_ Absolutely’

_Boyfriend (6:05 pm):_

‘You OK if I get ready for stuff?’

_You (6:06 pm):_

_‘_ You mean like pack for tomorrow?’

_Boyfriend (6:06 pm):_

‘No. I’m already packed.’

_You (6:06 pm):_

_‘_ Of course you are.’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’ *Thinking face emoji*

_Boyfriend (6:06 pm):_

‘David’

_You (6:06 pm):_

_‘_ Patrick’

_Boyfriend (6:06 pm):_

‘Make myself pretty’ *Peach emoji*

_You (6:07 pm):_

*Astonished face emoji* *Astonished face emoji*

 _‘_ Oh. My.’ *Heart eyes emoji*

‘Mr. Brewer’ *Face savoring delicious food emoji*

*Red heart emoji* *Man farmer emoji* *Eggplant emoji* *Smiling face with smiling eyes and hand covering mouth emoji* *Flushed face emoji*

_Boyfriend (6:07 pm):_

‘All right. That’s enough emojis.’

_You (6:07 pm):_

_‘_ I’ll finish up here and head to get dinner.’

_Boyfriend (6:07 pm):_

‘Honestly, I can go.’

_You (6:07 pm):_

_‘_ No.’

‘You go tidy up the dugout and I’ll take care of everything else.’

_Boyfriend (6:08 pm):_

*Rolling on the floor laughing emoji*

‘Look at him using baseball references’

_You (6:08 pm):_

_‘_ Oh? Is it a baseball reference?’

_Boyfriend (6:08 pm):_

*Winking face emoji*

_You (6:08 pm):_

_‘_ What do you want for dinner?’

_Boyfriend (6:08 pm):_

‘Dealer’s choice’

_You (6:08 pm):_

_‘_ I like how you’ve decided I’m dealing for your birthday?’ *Winking face emoji*

_Boyfriend (6:08 pm):_

‘Yes please.’

‘But I meant since you’re going to pick up dinner.’

_You (6:08 pm):_

*Thumbs up emoji*

‘I’ll text you when I’m in Elmdale so you know when I’ll be back’

_Boyfriend (6:09 pm):_

‘OK’

‘Be safe.’

_You (6:09 pm):_

_‘_ Take your time. Relax.’

_Boyfriend (6:09 pm):_

‘Love you.’

_You (6:08 pm):_

*Face throwing a kiss emoji*

++++++

Patrick carried the dishes to the sink.

“So… what do you want first. Gift or song?” David asked him.

Patrick turned around. Face lit up. “There’s a song?”

“Listen, don’t get too worked up over it. I found a song. No big deal.” David rolled his eyes as he moved to retrieve the bag he’d brought in with the rest of the items he carted up the two flights of stairs to celebrate this birthday… before the real birthday… in an effort to not give away the big surprise – that they would, in fact be celebrating the real birthday together with a room full of family and friends.

“OK.” Patrick’s eyes danced as he worked to subdue his excitement over celebrating with David.

“Here.” David set the bag on the table in front of Patrick.

The bag.

The bag that had gone back and forth between them for nearly a year.

“The bag.” Patrick smiled and pulled it closer.

“The first gift you gave me came in this bag. We’re going to use it until it falls apart. It has meaning.” David told him. He sat down and watched Patrick’s face as he dug his hand into the bag.

He pulled out the frame. Unwrapped the light blue tissue paper from around it.

“David!” Patrick exclaimed.

David’s smile moved left of center. Pulled into that grin that told Patrick he was pleased that Patrick was excited. “You like it?” David asked.

“I love it. I didn’t know that’s what you were doing when we took the pictures.” Patrick held the frame close and looked over its contents carefully.

“You told me that story about how when you were growing up, your parents always bought the photo package with the cards. That your mom always put them on the refrigerator.” David told him.

Patrick ran his hand over the black frame, which he had assumed was for the office wall. The wall that held their memories. He looked at the two baseball cards, side by side in the frame. He looked up at David, “Thank you for making these. I love them.”

Patrick set the frame down and leaned across the table to kiss David. A sweet kiss of appreciation.

“There’s more,” David pointed at the bag. “Down in the bottom.”

Patrick pulled out the remaining pieces of light blue tissue paper and peered into the bag. There he found three more cards, two of Patrick and one of David. And two packages of baseball-themed magnets.

He furrowed his brow and looked at David. “I don’t…”

David interrupted him. “I thought we could put ours on your refrigerator.” David said. “Is that silly? Maybe that’s silly.”

“It’s not silly. I love that idea.” Patrick told him. “I don’t understand what the…”

“The other one of _you_ is for your mom. I bought her some magnets, also.” David said.

Patrick’s heart swelled at the thought of David doing something special for his mom. He stood and pulled David to his feet. “I love you, David.” He gave David kisses. On his temple, cheek, neck. “Mom will love it. I love it.”

David turned into the kisses and their lips locked.

Patrick pressed against him. His arms around David. His hands splayed against David’s back, pulling David tightly to him.

David’s arms naturally moved around Patrick’s shoulders. His mouth opened to Patrick and his knees grew weak as they often did when Patrick took him that way. His tongue boldly possessing David’s mouth. Taking it. It belonged to Patrick.

Patrick pulled back only enough to move his mouth to David’s neck. Kissed him. “I’m going to miss you when I’m away.”

“I _always_ miss you when you’re away,” David tilted his head away from Patrick, providing him room to do the thing that he does there. _Yes. That thing right there._

David’s hands moved to hold Patrick’s head. Encouraging him to continue kissing him there.

Patrick’s hands moved to the hem of David’s sweater. Moved under it. His fingers scratched seductively over David’s chest.

Patrick had put on his sporty-spice shorts after his long shower and David loved how the thin fabric did nothing to hide Patrick’s thick, hard erection.

First reveling in it pressed against his thigh, but then enjoying the catch in Patrick’s breath as David reached down and cupped him. A firm, commanding grasp letting Patrick know what he wanted.

As David’s hand moved inside Patrick’s shorts. As his hand gripped Patrick’s display of arousal, Patrick’s phone bean to ring.

David pulled away from Patrick.

“Ignore it,” Patrick stepped toward him, arm reaching behind David’s neck. Standing up on his toes. Ready to kiss David again, even as his phone continued to ring.

“You know I can’t ignore a ringing phone. Answer it,” David said.

 _Finally._ David thought.

Finally, Patrick’s parents were calling.

Patrick dug into the pockets of his shorts. Retrieved his phone, just after it rang for the last time.

“My dad.” Patrick looked from his phone to David. He set the phone on the table. Looked up at David.

“Call him back,” David said. He sat down at the table.

“Nah. They’re probably just excited about seeing me tomorrow. Let’s…” Patrick nodded toward the bed, “go to bed.” He wiggled his eyebrows and reached out to David. His hand started at David’s shoulder, and dragged down his arm until he held David’s hand.

David took a sip of his wine, “Call him back, Patrick.”

Just as Patrick was ready to argue with David that he had an erection and he wanted to do something about it, his phone rang again. His dad was calling. Again.

He sighed heavily. Felt the remaining vestiges of passion leave his body. Patrick, resigned, sat.

“Hi, Dad.”

He looked at David. Winked.

“Yeah, sorry. Just missed it.” Patrick said. “What’s up?”

Patrick paused. His eyes shifted. He made a little noise when he exhaled.

David pulled his lips into his mouth. Bit down on them. Knowing he was about to see disappointment wash over his boyfriend.

“Wait. You… you mean _tomorrow_? Not just… not later in the weekend. But tomorrow, too?” Patrick asked his dad.

David saw Patrick’s reaction. His brow furrowed. He sat up straight in his chair. He looked like his breathing changed. It became shallow.

“Dad. We’ve been planning this for a couple of months.” Patrick’s voice sounded like a plea.

David saw the disappointment on Patrick’s face.

“Mom wants to go? She’s… she’s ok with it? With cancelling…?” Patrick asked.

Patrick leaned his elbow onto the table. His face rested in his hand. The palm of his hand covered his eyes. His other hand held the phone to his ear.

Patrick nodded his head. “I understand. I know. Yeah. It sounds like a… yeah… sure. I understand. I mean, if you both want to… you should. Seems… yeah… seems important.”

David scooted his chair closer to Patrick. His hand rubbed Patrick’s back. Worked to comfort him.

He felt Patrick hold his breath. Knew he was holding in his emotion. David was a little taken aback. He didn’t think Patrick would be _that_ upset.

“So, when…” Patrick cleared his throat. “When am I going to get to see you, then, Dad?”

David kissed Patrick’s shoulder. His hand still rubbed Patrick’s back. His other hand rested on Patrick’s thigh. Guilt washed over him and, for the first time, he was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to just tell Patrick about the party.

“You think that would be OK?” Patrick asked his dad.

David felt Patrick sit up. David moved away from him. Gave him space.

Patrick stood.

“Just a second.” He held his phone to his chest. “They aren’t going to be there this weekend. I can’t go. But he asked if I could go next weekend. Would that be OK with you?” He asked David.

David nodded his head, waved his hand between them, “Of course. Whatever you want. I’ve got the store.”

Patrick put the phone to his ear and walked over to the fireplace. “Dad, David said he’d watch the store next weekend, so that would work…. Yeah… yeah. David’s here.”  
  
Patrick looked up at David. Locked eyes with him. He took a deep breath. Let it out.

David watched him. Knew he was trying hard to keep his dad from hearing his disappointment.

“A week. Right? I’d see you in a week? For sure?” Patrick asked his dad.

He looked at David. David nodded. Walked toward Patrick.

“Dad? What if… I mean if I could get away earlier? Would that be OK? What if I came earlier in the week?” Then to David without removing the phone from his ear, his eyes pleading, “Could I go earlier in the week.”

“Of course,” David told him. His hand came to rest on Patrick’s chest, “Of course, Patrick.”

If you were to ask David in that moment, and he were honest with you, he’d tell you that Patrick appeared to be on the verge of a panic attack. He reminded David of a caged animal.

David began to rub one of his hands in circles on Patrick’s back. The other on his chest. All in an attempt to soothe him.

“Whatcha think, Dad?” Patrick asked. Then paused while he listened. “What about Mom?”

David watched Patrick. His eyes shifted. He stepped away from David. Walked over to his desk. Sat on the chair. David wanted to follow him but knew Patrick’s body language was telling him that he wanted space. David sat on the arm of the couch. Watched him.

Patrick nodded. “OK. That sounds good. I’m… I’m good with that, if you are. David and I will talk about when I can come. Maybe try to get up there earlier than the weekend.”

David watched him take a deep breath. Exhale it slowly. But his breath was shaky. Watched him rub his eyes with the palm of his hand.

Patrick’s voice was shaky when he spoke. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine. You know, Dad… I just… change of plans don’t… yeah. Yeah, I know you don’t like it when you have a sudden change of plans either.”

He listened. Then chuckled. “Tell Mom I heard that.”

David tilted his head. Wondering what Patrick’s mom said that caused the smile on Patrick’s face.

Patrick looked at David, “She said her Brewer men get way to moody at sudden changes of plans, and we need to just roll with it.”

David smiled at the thought of Marcy helping her son get through the difficult phone conversation.

“Yeah. Yeah, Dad. I know. Listen,… be there for your friend. Don’t think a thing about it. It’s fine.” Patrick told him.

Patrick listened to his dad.

“OK, Dad. Be safe on your trip. Have a good time.” Patrick said.

David watched him. Quiet. Waiting.

Patrick set his phone on the desk. Hunched over. Elbows on his knees. He stared at the floor.

David asked quietly, “Are you all right?”

“Yup.” Patrick said quietly.

David stood and moved to him. Stood in front of him. Patrick immediately reached for him. Spread his legs and pulled David close.

David stood between Patrick’s knees. Patrick pressed his forehead to David’s abdomen. David’s hands settled on Patrick’s head. The pads of his fingers massaging Patrick’s scalp and his neck.

“You want to tell me what your dad had to say?” David asked.

Patrick tilted his head back to look up at David. “I can’t go home this weekend. They’re going away for the weekend. Apparently, something came up. A… he said it was a really special gathering to honor an old friend. They didn’t feel like they could miss it.”

“Sounds like you will see them in a few days, though?” David asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Patrick nodded. He stood. “Yeah. Yeah. Next weekend. Maybe, if it’s OK with you, I can go earlier? Like head down there on Wednesday or Thursday?”

“Sure,” David nodded. “Whatever you can work out.”

“I’m gonna…” Patrick pointed at the bathroom and then walked toward it. Shut the door behind himself. Quietly asking David for some time alone.

++++++

David’s phone vibrated. He quickly checked it.

_Marcy Brewer (8:47 pm):_

‘David, how is my boy?’

_You (8:47 pm):_

‘He’s fine, Mrs. Brewer.’

‘Disappointed, but fine.’

_Marcy Brewer (8:47 pm):_

‘Clint said you’re there with him. I’m glad.’

_You (8:47 pm):_

‘Had a little birthday dinner.’

‘He didn’t think he’d see me on his birthday.’

*Winking face emoji*

_Marcy Brewer (8:47 pm):_

‘I’ll let you go.’

‘You boys have a good night.’

_You (8:48 pm):_

‘Thanks. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.’

_Marcy Brewer (8:48 pm):_

‘I’m looking forward to it also.’

‘I hope he’s not too upset about everything.’

‘I’m still worried about him running.’

_You (8:48 pm):_

‘I think he’ll be fine.’

_Marcy Brewer (8:48 pm):_

‘I hope so. Good night, David.’

_You (8:49 pm):_

‘Good night, Mrs. Brewer.’

“Who are you texting?” David jumped when he heard Patrick’s question. He hadn’t realized Patrick had come out of the bathroom.

“Mom.” David said louder than he meant to. “ _My_ … my mom.” He stuffed his phone into his pocket.

Patrick was at the table in the kitchen. Putting his framed gift into the gift bag. He opened one of the packages of baseball-themed magnets that David had given him. He took the two baseball cards and stuck them to the refrigerator.

“Hey,” David met him in the kitchen.

Patrick fussed with the magnets. Paying more attention to them than necessary.

“Hey,” David said again.

“Hmm?” Patrick said. He turned, looked at David.

“I still have a song for you,” David told him.

“I don’t know, David. The mood seems kind of ruined, now.” Patrick walked past him. Picked up the bag and carried it over to his desk. Set it there for safe keeping. Sat down on the side of the bed.

“It’s just a song,” David said. “I’m not asking to fuck.”

“I think I want to just… go to bed.” Patrick’s voice was sullen.

David began to protest that it wasn’t even 9:00 yet, but he held it. He knew Patrick was having one of his tantrum-like reactions to a plan that didn’t go his way. He knew that if he was going to get this night… this weekend… back on track he needed to handle it correctly.

He moved to the bed to sit beside him. He wrapped one arm around Patrick’s shoulder. His other hand pulled Patrick’s head near him. He kissed him on the temple.

“We can do whatever you want?” David began. “But I’d really like a dance before we go to bed.”

++++++

Patrick slumped onto the side of the bed. He was pouting. He knew he was. He knew how David would interpret it. He knew David would think he was just upset that his plans changed.

To be fair, when Patrick’s plans changed, he didn’t ever react well. He knew that about himself. He liked a well-thought-out, well-laid-out plan. _Who didn’t?_ And he really didn’t like when his plans changed without him having any control over it. _Who did?_

But this was different. This was more upsetting than just a change of plans. This was weeks… no, months. Months of worry. Months of thinking. Months of going over the dialogue in his mind. He had spent the day and several days prior barely sleeping. Barely eating. His nerves were on edge. And he was finally going to be just hours away from relief.

And now?

He was in no mood to receive a song that David had selected for him. No song… no dance with David would change his disposition.

“We can do whatever you want?” David began. “But I’d really like a dance before we go to bed.”

“David.” Patrick protested.

“M’Kay,” David stood. Tugged at the hem of his sweater. “I’m going to go and finish my wine. Then I’m going to go get ready for bed, even though it’s still early. You…” David’s hand circled in front of Patrick, “Keep doing this little pouty thing you’re doing. Get it out of your system. Then when I get done, we’ll dance before we go to bed.”

Patrick, shoulders slumped, nodded his head. His eyes on his hands. The thumb of his left hand rubbing the back of his right hand.

While David moved about the apartment, Patrick lay back onto the bed. His legs dangling over its side. He could have told his dad on the phone. He nearly did when he was standing by the fireplace looking across the apartment at David. When he was talking to his dad about maybe heading up there earlier than the weekend.

He looked at David, who was clearly worried about him. He heard his father’s voice. He thought in that moment that if he just came clean that he’d get both difficult conversations done in one swoop.

But he couldn’t do it. He needed to see his dad. Look into his eyes. And he needed to see his mom. He needed to be the one to tell her. He needed them to be together.

And, yeah. He needed to tell David. _Damnit._ He needed to tell David. But not then; not the night they’d designated as Patrick’s official, unofficial birthday. No. He would stick to the plan. See his parents, tell them, and then come home and tell David.

And… OK. It wasn’t the timeline he’d wanted. It wasn’t the timeline that was convenient. But who was he to be upset at his parents for jumping at the opportunity to go be part of a celebration for a friend? They had every right to want to go do something fun like that.

Truth be known, when he took his own selfish inconvenience out of the mix, he was happy they were going to get away. His mother loved a good road trip and they were both _very social_ people. He was sure they’d have a good time. They deserved that.

He’d see them soon. If he had his way, sooner than the following weekend. 

And… the change of events meant that he was going to be able to spend his real birthday with David. David had made such a nice evening for him. He had gone to Elmdale to pick up dinner. Albeit, David’s favorite dinner. And he had gotten him such a thoughtful gift. And, he’d agreed to cover the store for whatever days Patrick wanted to be gone.

Patrick thought about David.

David did a lot for him. David wanted him to have a special birthday.

He sat up on the side of the bed. Sighed. It was not that big of a deal. It was one week later than he’d planned.

He needed to apologize.

He tapped on the bathroom door while he opened it; didn’t wait to be invited in. David stood at the sink. Shirtless. Somewhere in the middle of his moisturizing regimen.

Patrick stood behind him. His hands settled on David’s waist. He pressed himself against David’s back. His cheek pressed to the warm skin of David’s back. His hands slid around David and came to rest on David’s chest.

“I’m sorry,” Patrick said quietly.

David smiled into the mirror. One hand rested on Patrick’s. He moved the other behind himself to give Patrick a sort-of hug.

“Changes in plans are hard,” David said.

++++++

[The music played while they danced. ](https://youtu.be/bpDNfwIrx1M)

_I never understood before  
I never knew what love was for  
My heart was broke my head was sore  
What a feeling_

_Caught up in ancient history  
I didn't believe in destiny  
I look up you're standing next to me  
What a feeling_

_What a feeling in my soul  
Love burns brighter than sunshine  
It's brighter than sunshine  
Let the rain fall I don't care  
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine  
Suddenly you're mine  
And it's brighter than sunshine_

_I never saw it happenin'  
I'd given up and given in  
I just couldn't take the hurt again  
What a feeling_

_I didn't have the strength to fight  
But suddenly it seemed so right  
Me and you  
What a feeling_

_What a feeling in my soul  
Love burns brighter than sunshine  
It's brighter than sunshine  
Let the rain fall I don't care  
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine  
Suddenly you're mine  
And it's brighter than the sun  
It's brighter the sun  
It's brighter than the sun, sunshine_

_Love will remain a mystery  
But give me your hand and you will see  
Your heart is keeping time with me_

_Oh what a feeling in my soul  
Love burns brighter than sunshine  
It's brighter than sunshine  
Let the rain fall I don't care  
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine  
Suddenly you're mine_

_I've got a feeling in my soul  
Love burns brighter than sunshine  
It's brighter than sunshine  
Let the rain fall I don't care  
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine  
Suddenly you're mine  
And its brighter than sunshine_

The lights were off. A few candles lit.

David wore his white pajama pants. His black t-shirt.

Patrick still in his grey sporty-spice shorts and white t-shirt.

“One more time?” Patrick asked.

David was no novice to the idea of introducing a new song to their mix. He had already set it to play on a loop and made zero move to let go of Patrick.

“Mmmm. We can dance all night if you want,” He told Patrick.

They’d listen to the song multiple times. Held one another. Patrick tucked into David’s firm embrace. His lips trailing along David’s neck in that way he always did when they danced. Small kisses here and there.

One of his hands sliding along the warm skin of David’s back, under David’s shirt. The other hand holding on to David’s arm that was wrapped around Patrick. David’s arms, seldom exposed, were a draw for Patrick. His fingers lightly brushing the skin of David’s upper arm. 

Dance was a loose term for what they were doing. Much like all of their dances together, they held each other closely and swayed, barely moving. Bodies pressed together. Finding solace in one another. Breathing each other in.

The thin clothing they wore did little to stop them from feeling each other. Feeling each other’s warmth. Feeling each other’s heartbeats. Feeling each other’s desire. Or in this case… lack of desire.

The song started up again.

Patrick tucked his head. His forehead resting in the curve of David’s neck. His cheek resting on David’s shoulder. He shifted. Both arms now around David. Holding him close. His mind worked to try to not worry. _It will be OK. I’ll see my parents in a week and tell them. It will all be OK._

David leaned his cheek against the top of Patrick’s head. Moved his arms to wrap around Patrick’s shoulders. Pulled him close. One of his hands rubbed Patrick’s upper back. Small, slow circles. His mind worked to try to not worry. _It will be OK. Once I get him to the party, he’ll understand the friend his parents are leaving town to see is him. It will all be OK._

“I really love this song, David,” Patrick finally spoke. His cheek still pressed against David’s shoulder.

“I thought we could relate to the lyrics,” David’s voice was quiet.

“Both of us,” Patrick agreed.

“Mmmm,” David made a sound of agreement.

They continued their slow swaying. Holding to one another. Bodies pressed together.

“This isn’t going to happen tonight, is it?” David asked him.

“I’m sorry,” Patrick pulled back. Looked up at David. “If you want to, we can try. I just… I think I’m just tired.”

“No. I’m not feeling it either,” David told him. “Don’t get me wrong. This is nice.”

“Holding you makes me feel better,” Patrick told him.

“Want to go to sleep?” David asked.

Patrick let go of David. “I think so. That all right?”

Patrick shed his shorts and t-shirt. In only his underwear he sidled up behind David. Wrapped his arm around David. Kissed him on the shoulder. Patrick was the big spoon.

“Big day tomorrow,” David said before he realized it. He squeezed his eyes shut and chastised himself. _Don’t screw it up now, David._

“Not really, but…” Patrick told him.

“It’s a day I’ll always celebrate,” David told him. “Not just because it’s your birthday.”

“Oh?” Patrick asked him. Pressing his forehead against David’s back. Pulling up his knees so that the back of David’s thighs pressed against the front of his. Settling in to prepare for sleep.

David reached his arm back. His hand resting on Patrick’s hip. “Because it marks the day that you decided your old life wasn’t what you wanted. It was the first step in you coming to find me.”

++++++

David’s alarm vibrated near his head and woke him.

He lay on his back, his head resting against Patrick’s arm. It was Patrick’s birthday. The day David had been working toward for a while.  
  
It was going to be a big day. Lots happening. And he needed his busy little boyfriend to stay away from the store. Stay away from town, really.

David rolled over, curled against Patrick. Always so warm and toasty, even when he only wore his underwear.

David’s arm draped over Patrick. His hand resting in the middle of Patrick’s chest as it rose and fell with his steady breathing.

His fingers moved over him. Over his chest. Down his abdomen. Over the fabric of his underwear. Down over his thick thigh. And then made its way back up Patrick’s body again.

David kissed the side of Patrick’s chest that was nearest David’s lips. A peck. Then another. Then another.

His hand making its way down the path it had taken before, only this time lingering. Lingering just above the waistband of his underwear before his finger tucked inside it and dragged along the skin there. Then back along the path, over Patrick’s underwear, down to his thigh, and then back up.

Patrick made a sound. That morning wake-up sound, somewhere between a moan and a grunt. He stretched his legs and arched his back a bit. “Mornin’.” He said quietly.

“Happy Birthday, Mr. Brewer.” David tucked his hand inside Patrick’s underwear and cupped Patrick’s balls. Rubbed them gently before moving his hand to grasp Patrick’s very awake, very interested cock.

“Seems to be starting well,” Patrick mumbled. His eyes still closed. He moved one of his hands behind his head.

David leaned up on his elbow. Slowly smattered kisses on Patrick’s bare chest. His tongue toyed with one of Patrick’s nipples. His lips working across his flesh. Slowly working down his abdomen.

Patrick made little sounds. Sounds of pleasure one makes when one is woken in such a manner.

His legs spread to accommodate David who moved over Patrick. His knees between Patrick’s legs.

Patrick raised his hips when he felt David’s tugging on his underwear. David moved, again, removing Patrick’s underwear. Straddling Patrick’s leg, his lips began again. Kissing Patrick’s chest. His abdomen. His hip.

Patrick’s cock jerked toward the heat of David’s body. Wanting more.

Lips curved into a sly smile, barely touching flesh. David gently and slowly kissed up Patrick’s shaft.

On an exhale, Patrick made another sound; letting David know he was sufficiently awake. Patrick’s hips bucked up in a silent plea for more contact.

David grasped Patrick’s cock at the base, and then he grew still. Patrick raised his head and looked down his body. Saw David looking at the erection he held.

“Happy Birthday, Dear Friend,” David said quietly. Speaking to Patrick’s penis.

Patrick’s head plopped back onto his pillow, “Oh god.”

“I first want to apologize for not giving you proper attention last night. This one,” David nodded his head toward Patrick, “Wasn’t exactly in the mood. To be fair, I was tired also.” David’s fist pumped twice up and down Patrick velvety flesh.

“David,” Patrick made a weak attempt to protest the conversation that was starting. He knew full-well that he had no power to stop it.

“Today’s such an important day in your history,” David continued. “A year ago today, _he_ decided he wanted something different for you. I’m so glad you made your way here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” David planted a chaste kiss on the pink head of Patrick’s cock.

“Seriously, David,” Patrick raised his head again and looked down at David.

“You’re so thick. So strong.” David said.

Patrick’s head fell back, again, on to his pillow. He exhaled loudly.

“You’re a fine looking, virile, farmer’s cock.” David licked him. From base to tip.

“And though there’s a lot of reasons I love this guy your attached to? I mean, he’s a faithful and sensitive companion. He’s an intelligent and reliable business man. He’s a talented musician…” David’s fist pumped Patrick’s cock as he spoke. “But, fuck, his manhood satisfies me.”

Patrick smiled up at the ceiling. His hand reached down. He squeezed David’s arm.

David pulled the sensitive head into his warm, wet mouth, then sucked on him. Pulled him in deeper. Deeper. Patrick sighed at the inviting warmth that David’s mouth provided.

His tongue swirled around Patrick’s tip. Ran along the edge of it. Then he opened wide and pulled him in again. Only to pull off of him and move his mouth along his shaft.

Feather light kisses down his shaft and back up again. A lick at his slit. Teasing him.

David’s hand cupped Patrick’s balls. He liked them. A lot. They were… Patrick. Thick. Bold. Confident. Sure. David dropped lower and pulled one into his mouth and gently sucked. Patrick whimpered at the sensation.

David’s tongue bathed him. Licked up the vein of his thick farmer’s cock. Lapped at the precum that beaded at his head. Dipped into his slit. Tantalizing Patrick.

He took his time on Patrick. Knowing that every lick. Every kiss. Left Patrick wanting. Craving. More.

_Please. More._

His body begged for more. He writhed under David. David rocked his hips and rubbed his own pajama-covered erection against Patrick’s thick, muscled thigh. Each time he pressed against Patrick he grew closer to his own release.

As David’s mouth opened to draw him back in, Patrick’s fingers threaded through the hair on the top of David’s head. He clenched his fist, tugging David’s hair at his scalp.

When David moved to pull off Patrick, Patrick pulled on his hair; wordlessly asking him to stay put. At the same time, he bucked his hips forward, pushing himself further into David’s mouth. Demanding that he continue with what he started.

David double-downed on his efforts. His fist pumped on the base of Patrick’s cock while he sucked him deep into his mouth. David, turned on and ready, rocked faster and pushed harder against Patrick’s leg.

Before long, Patrick’s shaky voice began the unnecessary notification. “David,” He uttered just before his trembling hand grasped hold of David’s forearm.

The thick, warmth of his offering burst into David’s mouth and he swallowed him down while his fist continued to pump, and his tongue worked to suck on him. The moan that ripped through Patrick’s chest and met David pushed David into his own climax. He pressed against Patrick’s leg and moaned. Patrick’s cock still in his mouth.

Bodies tensing together and pulsing with the force of orgasm. And then they stilled. David gently released Patrick from his mouth. He held his cock, growing flaccid, in his hand. He lay his head on Patrick’s hip.

Both were quiet. Both working to regain their breath. Steady their heartbeats.

“Fuck, David. _Your_ manhood satisfies _me_ ,” Patrick said quietly as his fingers ran through the hair on the top of David’s head.

++++++

When David left the bathroom, Patrick was pulling a pair of jeans out of his closet.

“What are you doing, Birthday Boy?” David asked him.

“Getting ready for work,” Patrick said.

“Thought we agreed that I was taking care of the store?” David stood behind Patrick. His hands settling on Patrick’s shoulders. Squeezing them.

“But I’m not going, so I can work.” He said.

“Well, I’m telling you that when my birthday rolls around I fully plan to take the day off and make you work it,” David said. He bent over, to get his bag. Set it on the bed and shuffled around in it, pretending to be busy.

“You can do that,” Patrick kissed David’s shoulder as he walked by him.

“Patrick.”

“David,” Patrick turned with a smile to look at him.

“Are you OK? With not being able to go up to see them this weekend?” David asked.

Patrick put his jeans on the bed. His hands to his waist, he nodded. “Yeah. I think I am. I mean, you’re right.”  
  
“I like hearing that,” David teased.

Patrick chuckled. “What’s a few days? I’ll see them next weekend.” Patrick shrugged. Pulled a fresh pair of underwear up his legs.

“Sweetie?” David moved over to stand near Patrick. His hands on Patrick’s waist. He backed up and sat down. Parted his knees and pulled Patrick to stand between his knees.

“David, we already had sex this morning.” Patrick protested as David’s hands slid inside the back of his underwear. Cupped his round ass cheeks.

“No. I fellated you.” David teased as he disagreed with him. Starting their ongoing debate. Again.

“Oral sex is still sex, David.” Patrick shot back at him. Each of his hands squeezing David’s shoulders.

“How about you take the day off like we planned?” David asked.

Patrick shook his head. “No. No, that doesn’t seem right if I’m going to be away next weekend.”

“It’s your birthday.” David really did not need him at the store while he was … well, not planning to be at the store at all. “How about you go on one of your hikey-run things… or go to the gym and enjoy the morning. Then I can pick up some food and we can have lunch together. You can read, or… play music, or… read?”

“David? That’s not asking too much?” Patrick asked him.

“Of course not. So long as you remember my generous nature when _my birthday_ rolls around,” David raised his eyebrows to make his point.

“Your birthday is a _very special_ anniversary for us,” Patrick countered. “On that day, we might _both_ need to take the day off and do something special.”

“M’Kay,” David stood. “I don’t see where you hijacking my birthday is a good thing, but we can discuss the matter later.” David suppressed a smile and moved to the other side of his bed to retrieve his bag. He really needed to get going. He had much to do.

“You’re leaving kind of early. Let me make you breakfast before you go,” Patrick offered.

“No,” David planted a kiss on his boyfriend’s lips and turned for the door, “I have to run by the motel to pick up a few things before I head to the office.”

“Do you want to take the car?” Patrick asked.

David shook his head, “Need the exercise after all the chicken and sides I ate last night.”

Patrick watched him open the door.

David turned to him, “But don’t make plans for dinner. I want to take you out for a real birthday dinner.”

++++++

David was happy to see Alexis still in their room when he entered. He dropped his bag on his bed.

“Are you going anywhere?” He asked.

“I’m going to try to talk Mom into going somewhere later, why?” She asked him.

“Just need to talk to all of you for a bit.” He knocked on the door that separated the two bedrooms.

His dad opened the door, “David. Where have you been?”

“Out,” David said.

“It was a week night. Don’t you normally stay _here_ on week nights?” His dad’s voice verged on the sound of scolding.

“M’Kay. We’re not doing that?” David said, his hand circling in front of his father.

He poked his head into the room and caught his mother’s eye. “I need to speak with the two of you? Can you come into our room, please?”

David’s mom sounded instantly concerned, “Oh, John. I don’t mean to be an alarmist, but…” 

David’s dad cut her off, “Now, Honey. Just because he wants a family meeting, it doesn’t mean that it’s bad news.”

David waited until they were all gathered together.

“OK. So… as we all know, I think surprise parties are tacky. And, far too often, organized by well intentioned people with very bad taste. But! Patrick has always wanted one… poor thing… so I am throwing him a surprise party. _Tonight_.”

++

End Part 1 of 6

++


	28. Patrick’s Surprise (MTP): Part 2 of 6 – Some Really Shocking Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Patrick enjoys the morning of his birthday, much is happening without his knowledge. David greets Terri and Amy. Clint and Marcy make their way to Schitt's Creek and find out "some really shocking information." While having their a last minute prep meeting at the café, David and Stevie are interrupted by a visit from Johnny. Terri and David have a conversation. David makes his way to Patrick's apartment to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is part 2 of 6 chapters. It takes place before and during 5.11. 
> 
> +++  
> This is the chapter where we are going to begin to truly Meet The Parents. 
> 
> I want to disclose that in preparation for these chapters, loooong before I started writing them, I did some other writing. Starting in January 2020, whenever I had writer's block while writing this series (Which was often), I spent some time on a new creation of mine. Chapters about Patrick's life as a child. I wanted to write about Marcy and Clint as parents. Write about their family dynamic. Explore who they were as parents to a young Patrick, so I would know how to have them respond to an adult Patrick who was coming out of the closet in MTP. 
> 
> In that series of chapters, I explored how Patrick’s personality formed. What he was like and how his parents responded to him. I realize my Clint and Marcy are foreign to you. For the most part, they’ve been non-existent in my work other than when Patrick went home in LOL: Part 1, and the few text, phone, and Facetime exchanges I’ve written. So, I apologize ahead of time if there are things about Marcy and Clint’s behavior in this and the coming chapters that seem odd to you. To me, they are old friends because I’ve been sitting with them (with fleshed out personalities) in my life for 10 solid months. 
> 
> And before anyone asks…I will likely post that series of chapters about Patrick’s youth AFTER I finish Season 5. That series is mostly complete and tentatively called Language of Love: Growing up Brewer. 
> 
> +++
> 
> I also want to take a moment to discuss how Marcy calls Patrick "My sweet boy." 
> 
> If you read my work and my author's notes, you likely have noticed that I have never referred to Patrick and David as "boys," nor have I referred to Alexis, Twyla, and Stevie as "girls." It's a thing with me, I suppose. I have grown friends who are gay men who abhor being called "boys" as it feels infantilizing to them. Personally, I call very close female friends "girls", I call my nieces "girls" [as terms of endearment], but I tend not to call people I'm not close with as either "boys" or "girls" for this reason. I don't have a problem if others do (and many in our fandom lovingly call D/P "Our boys" and that's neither here nor there for me). It's just something I don't do and I think it is possible that some of my readers notice that.
> 
> Anyway, starting in this chapter, I will often use the phrase "boys" in Marcy's voice (and perhaps in the voices of the other parents). Occasionally, it will come up in a few other ways (in exchanges between D/P). But I guess I wanted to lay this down as a type of warning for those who are uncomfortable with the words. You will see words used sporadically, and in Marcy's case you will see if often. 
> 
> +++
> 
> I was so excited and moved to read the comments about voting in the last chapter. Loved seeing how many of you have already voted. Loved reading the voting plans for those of you who have yet to vote. And I was remarkably touched (and drawn to tears) by those of you who live in other countries who are sending love to us in America right now. 
> 
> Rest when you can. Stand up when you are needed. And keep breathing. 
> 
> I wrote a breathing exercise in this chapter. If you feel panic/anxiety start to give way in your body (as we all have these days), please do the breathing exercise. 
> 
> Be well. We can make it through. Hold my hand and we will walk through it. 
> 
> \- PD
> 
> +++

++++++

“Hi! Hi!” David opened the door and stepped outside to greet his friends.

“Hi!” Amy said walking briskly toward him. “Gotta pee. Gotta pee!” Amy pushed him out of the way and walked past him into the Apothecary.

“Oh. All right. That’s… a lot… to know...” David watched her waddle through the store, her hands pressed to her lower back, on her way to the restroom.

“Sorry we’re later than we told you,” Terri rounded the truck and greeted David with a hug. “We stopped nearly every half hour on our way.”

Terri opened the tailgate of the truck.

David nodded and opened the second door to the store. “I completely understand. She’s… um…”

“Grown,” Terri smiled and nodded.

“I wasn’t going to say,” David smiled. He stepped off the curb into the street behind the truck.

Terri handed him two boxes. She hoisted several into her own arms and followed him into the store, through the rear walkway and into the back-storage area. She set her boxes down and turned to go get more. David moved to follow her.  
  
“I don’t mind bringing them in if you want to get them stacked in here,” Terri told him. She knew that it was typically Patrick who helped her carry the inventory into the store and David likely wasn’t keen on hauling the heavy boxes.

Thankful she didn’t want him to help carry, he began to arrange the inventory being sure to put the newest stock behind the boxes of soap and lotion they already had in storage.

When Terri brought in a second load, Amy stepped out of the restroom and found David.

“I’m so sorry. The baby was sitting right on my bladder for the last 10 miles into town,” She said with widespread arms, wordlessly asking for a hug.

David leaned down to his friend who was short in stature, but wide with child. He wasn’t sure how to step into a hug when her arms did not reach much further than her round belly. He awkwardly put his head on her shoulder and patted her back. She patted his arms.

“Ohmygawd, could that be more awkward?” She laughed.

“I don’t think so,” David laughed. Relieved that she saw the humor in the situation.

Hands on his waist, David smiled at his friend, “You are…”

“A barn.” She interrupted him.

“I was going to say radiant.” David told her.

“She _is_ radiant, David,” Terri said when she returned with another load of boxes. “She’s perfect.” Terri planted a kiss on Amy’s lips after she set the boxes down. She left them alone again.

David shifted the boxes. Pushed them where he wanted them.

“How much longer, Amy?” David asked. He knew she had told him before, but honestly? Who keeps track of that kind of thing?

“Three and a half weeks. Twenty-five days, actually. But who’s counting?” Amy rubbed her belly then put one hand on the base of her back.

“Do you want a chair? I can get you something to sit on.” David offered.

“In a bit. I’m good standing. Been sitting a while.” She brushed off his offer.

Terri came in with another load. Then another. And another. All the while David and Amy chatted. About the product. Amy’s work. The store.

Amy told him she’d been working double-time building up stock since she likely wouldn’t have a lot of time to make anything after the baby arrived.

When Terri delivered her last box, she brushed her hands on her jeans, “That’s it.”

“Um… no?” David said.

“Yup. This is the last of the boxes.” She confirmed. Pointed at the stack she had just set at David’s feet.

“Terri…” David, feet still planted on the floor, twisted his body to look behind him and beside him. Waved his arm. “You didn’t bring any _Body Milk_?

“Fuck.” Terri muttered.

“You didn’t get it from the pantry?” Amy asked her.

“The _pantry_? No. I brought all the boxes that you stored in the guest room.” Terri told her. “Why are you storing body milk in the pantry?”

“Don’t use that voice with me,” Amy shot back at her wife.

David walked away. Leaving them in the storage room to have their… _discussion_. He knew a couple’s quarrel when he heard one. An on-going bickering over a matter that likely had nothing to do with the body milk.

Instead, he sat at the desk in the office. Flipped through his social media. Posted a photo. A recent selfie he took of he and Patrick. Tagging Patrick, he posted it with a caption: “Happy Birthday to this guy. Making my life better every day he’s in it.”

“I’m sorry, David,” Amy poked her head into the office.

“Sorry, David,” Terri called from behind her.

Tucking his phone into his pocket, he joined them. “Completely fine.”

“I’ll find a way to get you some Body Milk,” Terri told him.

“Don’t worry. Maybe I’ll talk Patrick into taking a quick road trip later this week and we’ll pick it up.” With a wave of his hand, he tried to tell them it was no big deal. But… it was. It really was. It was their top seller.

He hated telling people they were out. And he really hated that their online orders were going to have to wait to be filled. But there was nothing he could do about it in that moment.

David closed up the store and stepped out onto the sidewalk with them. He explained he was headed to the café for last minute discussions with Twyla and Stevie. Then he’d be taking lunch to Patrick. Then he planned to work at the store in the afternoon

He suggested that Terri and Amy go with him to the café and enjoy some lunch. Then they could check into the motel and spend the afternoon relaxing.

They walked together across the street. Amy holding on to David’s arm and chatting the whole way. Terri walking behind them, hands shoved deep in her pockets, listening. Content in the moment, because Amy was happy.

++++++

Clint and Marcy stopped. Again. They’d been on the road for several hours; it was a long trip from their place to Schitt’s Creek.

Clint was always patient with her, but Marcy was someone who needed to stop. As much as she loved a good road trip, and she had _always_ loved a good road trip, she needed to stop. The restroom called her name every hour or so. And, while they were there, she might as well get another bottle of water, or treat to eat. Maybe buy a little trinket she found that reminded her of a friend.

Clint indulged her. He often did. She was quietly content on the road. She always selected the radio station, or more recently a play list after she learned how to connect her phone to the Bluetooth speaker in the new truck.

For part of the trip, they’d listened to an audio book. But for the last hour or so, they’d listened to music.

The playlist she chose for the last leg of the trip made Clint smile as he pulled onto the highway. The music reminded him of their youth.

“Clint Brewer, I know what that smile is,” She teased. Her hand crossed the console of the truck and rested easily on his thigh. Her fingernails scratching at his inner thigh through the denim jeans he wore.

“I’m just enjoying the concert, My Love. I’m not thinking at all about the things we’ve done while this song played in the background,” He said as he reached for the volume and turned it up while his wife continued to sing.

Every word. She knew every word. To. Every. Song. And he loved that about her.

_Circus life  
Under the big top world  
We all need the clowns  
To make us smile  
Through space and time  
Always another show  
Wondering where I am  
Lost without you_

Then Clint sang with her. Held her hand as it rested on the console.

_And being apart ain't easy on this love affair  
Two strangers learn to fall in love again  
I get the joy  
Of rediscovering you  
Oh girl, you stand by me  
I'm forever yours, faithfully_

++++++

Stevie entered the café. She spotted David sitting at a booth with two women. Though she’d never seen them before, she knew from the moment she saw them who they were. She realized that David had spotted her and it was too late for her to turn around and walk back out of the building.

She didn’t like this thing she felt. She never liked when she felt jealous. She’d faced it when Patrick first came to town. She was forever grateful that she never voiced it to David. She wasn’t so much jealous of David having a boyfriend. But when Patrick first showed up, David just spent less time with her and more time with him. It was hard at first.

Things had evened out. And of course, she’d had a couple of relationships during that time… if you want to call them relationships… that kept her own calendar busy. Well… busy enough. And, eventually, David and Stevie had made regular dates to catch up. That helped. And, ultimately, it helped that she liked Patrick. They got along well enough and both of them acknowledged the important role the other had in David’s life.

But this friendship she saw in front of her? If Stevie were honest with you – and let’s be clear, Stevie would _never_ be honest with you because you haven’t yet earned the right to know her inner thoughts, and you likely never would earn that right – she would tell you that this friendship of his had been a struggle for her. He’d talked a lot, told Stevie about the two women he sat with.

David had told her they were important _business associates_. She thought he probably did that because he didn’t want her to feel jealous. But she knew how often they talked. Knew how David loved to visit them. Knew they’d helped him through some of his shit. Knew that the two couples… David/Patrick and the two women… were friends. As couples. And there was no competing with… _that_.

And in that moment, it was the first time she really saw them together. And she saw how much David connected with them. Especially with the one. The pregnant one. She held on to David’s arm when she talked. And she threw her head back like some… girl… when he said something funny.

Stevie chastised herself. _He’s your best friend. You’re his best friend. Nobody has the relationship you have with him._

“Stevie!” he called her name. He waved her over to their booth.

She took a deep breath. Shoulders up.

Dropped her shoulders and donned a big smile… _OK, maybe not BIG_ … donned an _appropriately-sized_ smile… as she walked toward the booth to meet the lesbian goat farmers.

++++++

He’d taken his time. Went to his favorite place. Sat there for nearly an hour. The trees below him. Nothing but the sky above him.

He realized that freaking out over a handful of days seemed silly. He could literally count on one hand the number of days until he saw his parents. Then he would tell them. And then he could tell David. And then he could start to make plans for their future.

He thought about his mom. She was bound to love David. She’d enjoy his creativity. Patrick imagined that David would enjoy the warmth of his mother’s presence.

Patrick thought about his dad. They’d had so many talks over the years. So many talks about school, and later work. About sports and the animals. And… girls.  
  
Patrick lay back on the rock where he sat. Looked up at the sky.

He thought about his dad. He hoped his dad would not be upset with him. He hoped his dad would like David. They didn’t have much of anything in common, other than loving Patrick. Patrick was a lot like his dad. He hoped that was enough for his dad and David to get along.

When he entered his apartment, tossed his keys onto the table, his phone rang.

His dad.

He pressed accept and with a smile in his voice greeted him. “Hi Dad.”

++++++

As they crossed into Schitt’s Creek, Clint called Patrick. The phone was on speaker.

“Hi Dad,” Patrick said.

Marcy’s heartbeat quickened. Her boy. Her sweet boy. She was officially in his town. She was just hours away from holding him in her arms. From seeing his face. From making sure with her own eyes that her son was well.

“Just wanted to tell you Happy Birthday!” Clint said with a cheerful voice.

“Happy Birthday, Patrick!” Marcy chimed in.

“Thanks. Thanks. You on your way?” He asked.

“Just getting ready to pull up to our… hotel. Sure hope you’re having a good day,” Clint told him.

“Yeah. David’s taking care of the store. I took a hike this morning. Just putting my feet up now. Maybe read a book or something. I guess we’re going to go to dinner tonight.” Patrick said.

“That sounds wonderful. Have a relaxing day.” Marcy told him.

“Have a good time tonight,” Patrick told them. “Enjoy your gathering.”

“We will, Son.” Clint said and then he winked at Marcy. “We’ll let you go. We’ll talk to you later.”

Marcy was giddy and slapped Clint on the arm. He chuckled.

“OK.” Patrick said, “You guys be safe.”

They pulled into the Rosebud Motel. Clint parked the truck and they sat for a moment.

“I’m excited to see him,” She said.

He squeezed her hand. “I know you are.”

They sat quietly. Neither moving.

“You know… Clint… it’s been a long time since we’ve spent the night in a road-side motel,” She smiled at him.

He wiggled his eyebrows, “We have some time before the party.”

Giggling, she opened her truck door, “Let’s get checked in, then!” She hopped out of the truck and reached for the hand of her strapping husband as they walked to the motel office.

++++++

He stood in the hot shower and let the water beat down over his back. His mind drifted, as it often did while he was in the shower, to David.

He thought about the way David woke him that morning. David’s remarkably talented tongue. His skilled and sensitive lips.

He reached for David’s shower soap. Opened the lid. Took a deep breath and smelled it. Smelled him.

Patrick leaned against the wall of the shower. Still holding the bottle, smelling it. His soapy hand gripped his dick. Slicked over it as it firmed at his own touch. His mind thinking of David. David’s tongue circling his hole. David’s mouth covering his cock.

Patrick’s thumb slid over the head of his cock, teasing himself into an erection.

His mind drifted to what they’d be doing soon… in their future.

Patrick poised over David. No condom. Slicked and ready. David, quivering, open wide for him. Ready to receive him with no barriers.

No boundaries.

Trusting and ready.

++++++

With their room key in hand, Marcy stepped out of the motel office. Clint was immediately behind her. His hand on her back, encouraging her to move a little quicker.  
  
He pulled the door shut behind them.

She stopped and turned. Looked up at her husband.

Speechless.

Breathless.

His blue eyes locked on hers.

For a moment they stood there.

Frozen.

Neither spoke.

“Clint.” She whispered. Her breath caught in her throat as she uttered the words, “He’s gay?”

Clint looked at his wife and then turned and looked at the door behind him. Back to his wife. Confusion in his eyes. His mind racing.

“Clint.” She said again. Her hand moved to his chest. 

Clint shifted into gear. Confusion pushed away. Suddenly decisive. Protective. Thinking before feeling.

His hand at her lower back. “Let’s get in the room.”

“Our bags…” She pointed at the truck as they walked by.

“The bags will wait,” He said as they walked briskly in front of the row of doors. “Let’s get in the room.”

++++++

Johnny, hand on the doorknob as Clint shut it from the outside, froze in place.

_Did I just...?_

He heard Roland talking, “Huh. Correct me if I’m wrong here, Johnny. But, kinda seems like they didn’t know their son is in a relationship with David.”

Johnny was stunned. He had no idea. He raised his hand to his mouth and thought it through.

“Yes. Yes, it seemed that way to me, too,” Johnny told him.

“They are. Right? They _are_ in a relationship.” Roland said. “We’ve all seen them together.”

“Yes, Roland. Yes. Of course, they are.” Johnny waved a hand at him. Still thinking.

“Seems like something David would have warned us about. Right?” Roland asked.

“I have to go,” Johnny told him. “You need to be here at the desk. We have a couple more rooms that haven’t checked in, yet.”

Johnny opened the door.

“Where are you going?” Roland asked him.

“I have to go to the café to tell David,” Johnny stepped out of the office and then quickly stepped back in.

“Alexis and Moira have the car. They’re away at some sort of… convention. May I take your truck?” Johnny asked him.

Roland shook his head, “No can do. I walked. Jocelyn has the truck. She’s gone with a couple members of the Cabaret crew to pick up some furniture Moira found for the set.”

Johnny, brows furrowed, nodded his head. Wiped his hand over his mouth again. “I need to go.”

“GO!” Rolland waved his hand toward the door.

He left the office and walked briskly across the parking lot. As he reached the road he began to walk faster.

His son. His son didn’t know. There was no way David organized Patrick’s birthday party while knowing this kind of information.

His fast walk turned into a jog.

His jog turned into a run.

He needed to tell his son.

++++++

After his shower, he dressed and sat on the couch. Played his guitar for a while. Sang through the songs that David loved to hear. His voice drifted off as his fingers still danced on the strings. Picking out notes.

His mind drifted to David, again. He thought of their morning together.

Then he thought about how his original plans would have had him at his parents later that day. How – if plans hadn’t changed – by the time he went to bed, he would have told his parents the truth. How by the end of the weekend, he would have been able to tell David everything.

 _I’ll be telling him soon._ He thought. _He’ll understand. God, I hope he’ll understand. I haven’t really been lying to him. I haven’t._

And then Patrick did what he subconsciously did many times over the past year. He began to explain it all away. The excuses seemed logical to him.

Not even excuses, really. To him they were simply explanations of why he hadn’t done it. Why he hadn’t demanded that he see his parents face-to-face sooner. Why he had insisted that it be done in person at all. Why he needed them to both be together.

To him, none of it was lying. None of it was putting it off. None of it was being untruthful. None of it was procrastination.

To him, it was all very logical. Reasonable.  
  
 _Everyone will understand._

_It will all be fine._

_Next weekend. NEXT weekend._

++++++

Johnny still worked to get his breath. “Yeah. They, they looked a little… shaken.”

“Shaken!?” David asked. He felt panic begin to form in his chest.

“Well.” Johnny took a breath. “Upset.”

“Upset?!” David asked. He struggled to understand his father who seemed to be working to not say anything.

Stevie had been watching the two and quickly caught on to what was happening. “David, they know. Right?”

“Of course, they know! I wouldn’t have asked them to come here if I didn’t… think they knew we were in a relationship.” David told them. _Of course, they know._ He thought to himself. _Patrick’s told them about us. Right?!_

He paused. Swallowed.

His voice grew louder. “They call the store all the time. I mean… what do they think… I’m just… his business partner?!”

Johnny and Stevie spoke at the same time.

“I mean… yeah!” She said.

“Possibly.” He said.

 _He hasn’t told them. Fuck!_ David thought before exclaiming, “...OhMyGod!”

++++++

Terri and Amy sat in a booth at the café, not far away from where David had been talking with the woman behind the counter. They had already ordered and were waiting for their lunch.

Amy’s back was to the door. As per her usual, Terri was facing the door. Always facing the door. Protective and ready.

A noise startled them. Amy turned to see what was happening. Terri sat up straight. Watchful.

A man came in. He was talking with David and Stevie.

The waitress approached them with two plates of food.

“Here you go. Two chicken dinners.” Twyla put their plates down on the table. “Do you need anything else?” She asked.

Terri, took her eyes off David for a moment to look at the waitress. Terri was always respectful. Always made connections with people. “No. Thank you. This looks wonderful.”

“Who’s the man talking to David?” Amy asked. Never one to completely mind her own business.

“That’s Mr. Rose. David’s dad,” Twyla told them before leaving them alone at the table.

“Of course, he is,” Amy said. “Looks like him, doesn’t he, Terr?”

Terri’s eyes were back on them. She could hear a few of the words they said, because… well, there was clearly something not going well.

She heard David’s voice.

“Shaken?!”

“Upset?!”

“I’m eating. I realize there’s something going on. And I know you want to go fix it? But I’m eating, first.” Amy told her wife before biting into her piece of chicken.

“Aim…” Terri said. Eyes still glued on David. “You don’t suppose David’s invited Patrick’s parents…”

Amy shrugged. Eyed her chicken and said, “Probably,” before she took another bite.

“Shit.” Terri whispered.

“If we were not here, he’d handle whatever this is all by himself,” Amy told her. “Imagine. A grown adult handling a situation without you needing to step in.”

Terri ate a bite of her potatoes. Then she put her fork down. “You’d step in if you knew something.”

“It’s not your business if he doesn’t invite you in,” Amy said.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. You’d step in.” Terri said.

Amy set the chicken down on the plate. Elbows on the table gave her wife a look. The look that says she knows her wife is about to leave her to help someone else.

“It’s about Patrick,” Terri said. She’d over heard enough of the key words to have deduced what was happening.

Amy lifted her glass of water and took a drink. Set her glass back down and dug into her mashed potatoes. Not saying a word to her wife.

“I’ll be right back,” Terri said before she laid her napkin on the table beside her plate and stood.

“Terri-fuckin’-Morgan,” Amy muttered sarcastically before taking another bite of her potatoes.

++++++

They sat side-by-side on the bed. Neither speaking.  
  
They had remained silent as they walked briskly to their room. As Marcy unlocked the door. As they stood, just inside the door, in the dark room. As Clint flicked on the lights.

They moved to sit. Their thighs pressed against each other. Grounding each other in the moment.

Suddenly, Marcy stood.  
  
“I have to go to him. Take me to him.” She walked to the door and opened it.

Clint remained where he sat. “No.”

“Clinton Patrick Brewer. I want to see my son. _NOW!_ ” Her voice strong. Commanding. The voice she rarely used. One hand on her hip.

He knew when she pulled out the middle name, she meant business.

And it made him want to smile. But he knew better.

“Let’s think this through,” His voice grew calmer. Slower.

He reached his hand out.

She didn’t move.

“Come on, Marse. We need to think it through first.” He patted the bed where she had been sitting.

She knew what he was doing. One isn’t married to a man like Clint for over 30 years and not know what he was doing in that moment. He balanced her. She balanced him. And in that moment, he was thinking rationally. And all she wanted was to hold her son. Tell him that she loved him.

She shut the door. Leaned back against it.

“We have to let him tell us, don’t we?” She asked.

“I think so?” He looked up at her. His eyes wide. “I don’t know. I don’t know how this works.”

“There’s probably something… empowering? For him? If he tells us?” She sounded unsure.

“I guess? I don’t know. You’re the teacher. Is this something… what do we do?” Clint was suddenly at a loss.

Marcy, eyes still showing her shock, looked at her husband. Walked over to him. Sat beside him, again. Pressed against him.  
  
“I don’t know, Clint. I don’t know.”

++++++

His phone buzzed from time to time. Happy Birthday texts and emails from friends and family.

He lay on his bed. Watched an episode of his favorite show. He’d seen it over a dozen times. It didn’t matter. He loved it. It made him happy to watch it. Especially that one episode with that really good kiss.

He left the apartment to go downstairs to check his mail. It made him happy to find in it a few more birthday cards. Several came in that week. From his aunts and his cousins. He even had one from Rachel. He was surprised that over the week when he checked the mail, he hadn’t received anything from his mother. He was sure she would have sent something, even though he had planned to be home.

He shrugged it off. _She’s probably just holding everything until she sees me._

++++++

Johnny left the café. Still somewhat breathless. He slowly walked in the direction of the motel.

What had he done?

No parent should hear that kind of thing from someone other than their own child.

Johnny’s mind flashed back to how he learned about David. When David _came out to him_ … as the kids say.

It was just a typical summer day. A weekend, he supposed. All of them were at the house. Though, if he were to really think about it, maybe Alexis wasn’t there. She was…somewhere… somewhere else. He couldn’t really remember where. He didn’t really have her in his memory of that particular incident.  
  
Moira was there. _Yes._ As he thought about it, she was there. Seems like she had someone in. Both Johnny and Moira were in their wing. She in her meditation room. _Oh, yes._ She was having a massage now that he thought about it.  
  
He was in his study off of their bedroom suite. Working.

David, home for summer break, knocked on his door.

“Yeah,” Johnny called as an invitation for whomever it was to open the door.

And it was then that his son, a scrawny kid with long dark hair swept over to one side – half covering his face – came out to him. By pointing at two people, one on each side of himself. Two people whose eyeliner was as heavy and dark as David’s. Two people, not of the same gender.

“Just wanted you to know they’re staying with me for the week. We’re dating.” David had told him with zero emotion on his face or in his voice. Their eyes locked on each other. David daring Johnny to challenge him.

“Who’s dating?” Johnny asked. Confused.

David used his thumbs to point to the person on each side of himself, again. “Us.”

Then the trio turned and walked away. No other words spoken.

No words spoken was not a big stretch for them. In fact, that little exchange contained more words than Johnny had swapped with his son since the previous Christmas when Johnny had refused to give David his check until he reported how the first semester of college had gone.

Johnny had immediately gone to Moira to ask her about David’s house guests. She lifted her head from the massage table to tell him she didn’t give a fuck and to demand that he leave her in peace for the remainder of the massage.

Johnny had watched them, later that evening. He stood in the library and looked out over the property and saw the three of them by the pool. His brows furrowed as he watched the two houseguests kiss each other. Then, in turn, each kissed David.

 _Oh._ Johnny thought. _Ohhhh._

As Johnny crossed the parking lot of the motel and headed toward his room, he pondered David’s youth. He considered those two people and the many who came after. He thought about all the questions he never asked David. All the conversations he was too afraid to start.

And then he thought about how David had come into his own. Matured with little or no help from his father. He thought about Patrick. How he wished he knew him better.

Johnny closed the door to his room. Sat on his bed. His hands on his knees.

He thought about what he’d said to the Brewers. He brushed his hand over his face.

_What have I done?_

_I have to make this right._

++++++

David’s dad left the café.

Stevie turned and looked at him.

David stood. Frozen. Panic creeping in. He could feel it. He knew what it was. He knew what was coming.

“Just take a breath,” He heard her voice behind him. Standing near.

He turned on his heels. “Terri.” He said quietly.

Her eyes locked on him. “Just take a breath. David. Take a _deep_ breath.”

David did as he was told. Held it in as his therapist had taught him to do. Breathed it out.

“Again,” Terri said.

With Stevie and Twyla looking on, David began the breathing exercises he’d been taught to utilize when he felt a panic attack coming on. 

Slowly breathing in for the count of four: One. Two. Three. Four.

Hold it for the count of four: One. Two. Three. Four.

Breathe out for the count of four: One. Two. Three. Four.

Hold for the count of four: One. Two. Three. Four.

He breathed the cycle several more times until he had control of his breathing. His dark brown eyes locked solidly on her steel blue ones.

“You’ve got this,” She whispered quietly.

Terri watched him. Waited. Hands jammed deep into her pockets. Nodding her head as he made it through each cycle.

“David? Are you all right?” Twyla asked him.

David turned to her and nodded. “I’m good. I’m good.”

Terri remained silent. Waited for David.

“Terri,” David’s voice was soft. “He didn’t tell…”

Terri cut him off. “Let’s step outside.”

++++++

Patrick sat at his desk. He worked on some documents for Ray. Editing a few contracts with his favorite red felt-tip pen.

He stared out the window from his apartment. It was a nice day. Maybe after they had lunch, David would take a walk with him. Sit in the park.

They could sit on the park bench and read their books. Patrick liked when they sat for a while and David turned to lay down. Draped his legs over the arm of the bench and lay his head in Patrick’s lap.

David would probably fuss. Say he needed to be back at the store. But how often did they get a nice day like the one they were having? And on his birthday, no less. It was beautiful outside.

Yeah… he’d talk David into shutting the store for the rest of the day. To hell with the bottom line. They could afford it. He wanted to waste the day; sit in the sunshine with David.

Unable to focus on the rest of the contract he’d been working on, he closed the file and paced the apartment a bit.

It wouldn’t be much longer before David arrived with lunch. He settled in one of the arm chairs. Sat with his phone. More texts and emails.

He opened his social media and scrolled through more of the well wishes of his friends. It made him smile to think of so many people sending him good thoughts on that day.

It was a _really_ good day.

++++++

Stevie moved to the window and looked out of the café. Soon she felt Twyla standing to her right. Twyla put a hand on Stevie’s shoulder.

Stevie jumped.

They watched as David and Terri talked.

David’s hands flailed about. At times, his voice grew so loud they picked up a word or two.

_Boyfriend. Not out._

Before long, Stevie felt someone bump into her on her left.

Stevie jumped, again.

It was Amy. Her very pregnant, round belly bumped into Stevie as Amy tried to look over her shoulder and out the window.

“I thought _everyone_ knew that Patrick was gay,” Twyla said to nobody in particular.

“Me, too,” Stevie said.

“Me, three,” Amy said. And as she took in the body language of her wife, she grew to realize that her wife knew far more than she’d let on. And that realization, along with the growing heartburn Amy was feeling, caused her to feel really pissed off.

The three women watched. Watched Terri shove her hands in her pockets and talk; though they couldn’t hear what she said.

They saw David lean in close, clearly whispering something very private. Saw David pace around.

And then they watched Terri cross the street and open the door to her truck. She brought back a bouquet of flowers.

“Those are beautiful,” Twyla said.

“David ordered them from the shop in Elmdale. Asked us to pick them up on our way through,” Amy told them.

David took the flowers from Terri and walked away.

“That’s going to be one tough conversation,” Stevie said as she watched her friend go. Wishing there was something, anything, she could do for him. Knowing he had to walk through whatever this was on his own.

The three women turned toward the door when Terri reentered the café.

Terri was looking at the floor when she entered the café but looked up when she encountered what would best be described as a wall of women. She looked up at the three expectant faces.

“You,” Amy, with one hand on her round belly, pointed her finger up at her tall, strong wife. “You have some explaining to do.”

And with that, Amy waddled back to the booth. She sat down, and resumed eating her meal.

Terri, half her mouth pulled back in a grin, strode quietly behind her. Sat. Bit into her now-cold chicken. And quietly, very quietly, began to tell her wife what she knew.

++++++

“Did you know?” David asked her. Pacing on the sidewalk in front of the café.

Terri, hands shoved deep into the pockets of her faded jeans, looked David in the eye. And said nothing.

“I talk to them. I can’t _count_ how many _fucking_ times I’ve talked to them! On the phone? On text? I’ve Facetimed with his mom!” David paced back and forth in front of her. His arms flailing.

Terri stood still. Her eyes on David. Quiet.

“All this time?” David stopped and turned to her. “I’m… I’m just the guy Patrick works with?” David asked.

She saw the pain in his eyes. She did not respond. She knew he needed to get it all out with her, so he wouldn’t say it to Patrick… at least be less reactive with Patrick. 

“He’s not _out_? How can _my_ boyfriend not be _out_ to the two _kindest, most-understanding parents_ in the _fucking_ world?!” David’s hands flailed and his voice grew louder.

Terri nodded her head. Kept her eyes on David. Considered how she might mitigate the situation.

“You knew this.” David said.

“I did.” She answered.

“Does Amy know?” He asked. Wondering if… how… his friend kept this vital piece of information from him.

Terri shook her head. “No. It’s his information to share.”

“You’re not his therapist,” David said, almost accusingly.

“No. Just his friend.” Terri said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” David knew full well it was pointless to ask.

She shook her head. “Same reason I didn’t tell him your shit.”

David made a sound of frustration and began pacing, again.

“What’s your plan?” Terri asked him. Worked to get his brain to shift from emotional reaction to logical response.

“I’m supposed to order lunch and take it to him.” David said. He threw back his head and rolled his eyes.

“Then order lunch. Take it to him.” Terri said. “I’ve got the flowers you wanted us to pick up in Elmdale on our way through. They’re in the truck.”

David’s initial reaction was anger and he was not ready to move away from that emotion. And, at that moment in time, he was not inclined to take Patrick lunch… or flowers.

“He’s been lying to me,” David whispered.

“Has he?” Terri asked.

David closed his eyes. Took a deep breath. Paced more. The fingers of his left hand worrying the rings on his right.

He stopped in front of Terri. Took a deep breath. Exhaled.

“You’re right. It’s his coming out. Not mine.” David said. Knowing he didn’t have to say a word to her.

“Yup.” She nodded.

“This isn’t about me.” He said resolutely.

Then he paused. “Wait. He’s not ashamed of me,… _right_?” His voice showed how vulnerable he felt in that moment.

“David,” Terri pulled her head back as though what he said was a punch. Her voice told him all he needed to know. “That kid was head over heels in love with you before he even knew it. Of course, he’s not ashamed of you.”

David nodded. His voice barely above a whisper. “OK. All right.”

David walked away from her and then back again. More pacing.

“Terri. Why hasn’t he told them?” David asked her.

“You have to ask him that.” She said.

“But you know.”

“But you need to hold him accountable for telling his own story.” Terri said.

“I’ll ask him. I’m going to make him tell me. He can’t keep secrets like this from me.” David said.

Terri was quiet again. Her lips pressed together. She looked down at her feet.

David sighed. “Tell me. There’s something you are holding in. Just tell me”

“David, try not to ruin his coming out by making it about you. He’s going to remember this day for the rest of his life.” Terri told him.

She reached for him. Touching him was something she seldom did. Her hand squeezed his arm. “You remember yours. I remember mine.”

David nodded. He looked over Terri’s shoulder. His eyes darted over and he saw Bob jog out to talk to someone who drove up to the garage.

“You’ll have all the time in the world to question his reasons. Just… consider whether or not those questions should come today.” Terri recommended.

David was silent. Lips pressed together. He watched Bob leaning over and working on something under the hood of the car.

“His parents are going to have plenty of questions for him. He’s going to need support from you.” Terri gently reminded him of what Patrick would be facing. “Even with the most supportive of parents… there’s going to be questions.”

He looked at Terri. Shrugged. “You’re right. You’re right. I know… you’re right.”

“I’m going to go get the flowers from the truck.” Terri said and walked away from him. Leaving him to think on the situation. David sat at one of the tables outside the café, scrolled through his phone and ordered pizza from the place around the corner.

 _She’s right,_ David thought _. This is his story. His coming out_.

And there would be plenty of time later to talk about why Patrick had held it all in. Why Patrick hadn’t trusted David when he insisted that David trust him. Why Patrick had … for nearly a year… kept this very important piece of information about their relationship away from the most important people in his life.

And he had to wonder, was Patrick planning on telling him at all?

++++++

David paid for the pizza and clumsily opened the door and left the small, store-front pizza place.

He’d been looking forward to lunch with Patrick. Had originally planned to take Grandma’s blanket downstairs and spread it out on the grass. Sit with him under the big tree outside of Patrick’s apartment building. Drink beer and eat pizza.

He had thought they’d spend the afternoon together. Had figured he’d have to talk Patrick into being agreeable to the store being closed. No income for the afternoon was not something Patrick would readily agree to. But he was pretty sure he would have eventually agreed if David had been persuasive enough.

He had imagined Patrick joining him at the café later that night. Had visualized the reunion that Patrick would have with his beloved parents. Had thought about how proud he would feel when Patrick thanked him for putting together such a lovely gathering. He’d hoped that Patrick’s parents would see all the trouble David had gone through for Patrick and understand how deep his love was for their son.

As David walked toward Patrick’s apartment, he thought about what had transpired the hour before.

His father telling him about the Brewers.

Learning that Patrick had trusted Terri enough to tell her. But he didn’t tell David.

All of the details. All of the plans. All of the work he’d put into the party. All of those plans fell away. All of those hopes dropped like bombs around his feet.

He took a deep breath and exhaled.

He recognized that the situation was not about himself. It was about Patrick.

He reminded himself that one’s coming out is their story for their whole life. And perhaps he’d taken for granted that he had done so relatively early in his life. Certainly, his situation had been different. His relationship with his own parents at the time of his coming out was far different than the one Patrick had with his parents.

He chastised himself for not realizing earlier that with Patrick not having a same sex relationship until much later, that it was a likelihood that he hadn’t told people outside of their immediate circle. And, knowing Patrick, he would have wanted to tell his parents face-to-face. And… of course. That was why Patrick had been so distraught when his mother had not come down when he moved into his apartment.

Patrick had tried.

 _Right? He tried? He tried to tell me?_ David thought to himself.

None of that mattered in that moment, David realized. He tried to push it to the back of his brain. Yes, he would talk with Patrick. Eventually. He’d make Patrick tell him everything he needed to know. But that day was about something else.

David had unwittingly opened Patrick’s closet door. It was time for David to tell him that he knew Patrick was closeted. And it was time to step back and see what Patrick would do. Because, in the end, it was Patrick’s decision.

And David needed to assure Patrick that no matter what he chose to do, he was loved.

The initial anger he’d felt upon hearing the news began to shed off his back as he walked. And his immense love for Patrick began to take its place.

David suddenly felt very, very protective.

No. This wasn’t about David. It wasn’t even about David and Patrick.

This moment. This moment was about Patrick. And Patrick needed space. He needed time. And above all, he needed understanding.

And, by god, if David couldn’t give him the best surprise birthday party of his life, he sure as fuck was going to give him a reunion with his beloved parents.

And maybe, just maybe, he could give him a coming out story that he could dine out on for the rest of his life.

+++

End Part 2 of 6

+++


	29. Patrick’s Surprise (MTP): Part 3 of 6 – They Know About Me. Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David has a difficult conversation with Patrick. Patrick comes clean. Clint thinks through Patrick's life to find clues to help him understand the situation. Terri and Amy talk. David creates an olive branch. David introduces himself to his boyfriend's parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is part 3 of 6 chapters. It takes place during 5.11. 
> 
> +++
> 
> I've said it before and I'll say it again. The HARDEST chapters to write are the ones with the most iconic scenes in them. This certainly is one. The other 5 chapters of this little mini-series were easier for me to write than this one. I've edited it nearly a dozen times and I keep finding things I want to do with it. So I decided I'm stopping it here and posting tonight. Because if I edited it again tomorrow, I'd find something else to change. It will never be good enough for me, because this episode... in particular this scene... was beautiful. 
> 
> I toyed with skipping the David/Patrick scene altogether. After all, you all know what happens in it. But, in the end, I wanted to write it from Patrick's POV and with Patrick's internal dialogue. I'm sure I will always look back at this chapter much the way I do each of my chapters that encompass an iconic scene and wish I'd have done something differently. *Shoulder shrug emoji* But, I'm not perfect and it's time to post. And you all need something to read. So here it is. 
> 
> I do hope you find something you enjoy or connect with in it.
> 
> +++
> 
> Like you, I am watching the news and the stress builds.  
> Please, please. Be gentle with yourself and with those around you. 
> 
> \- PD
> 
> +++

++++++

Before he entered the apartment, he stood in the hallway.

He leaned against the wall beside Patrick’s door.

He took a deep breath and held it in. Then exhaled slowly.

Again.

And again.

Then, resolutely, he put a smile on his face and opened the door. Saw Patrick sitting near the fireplace.

“Happy Birthday!” He said.

++++++

Patrick sat; feet propped up. Sipping a tea and waiting for David. He flipped through his social media again. More messages from friends and family.

Saw that David had posted the picture that they’d taken a week or so prior. The picture had a caption, “Happy Birthday to this guy. Making my life better every day he’s in it.” It made Patrick smile seeing it. He responded with a heart reaction.

He looked up when he heard the door.

In came David with a pizza box, a bouquet of flowers, and a “Happy Birthday!”

++++++

Something felt off.

When asked about it later, Patrick would tell David that he knew something seemed off when David asked him if he’d had any calls from “Family… or… friends.” There was something in the way he asked. In his voice. In the way his face moved.

But Patrick had, in that moment, thought that maybe something had happened at the store that David didn’t want to talk about. Like… Darlene’s cousin came in and said something crude again. You know, like she does.

Then, a moment later, his world fell. It crashed around him with one question from David.

‘Um. _Speaking_ of your parents. I’ve been piecing together that I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to them… outside of… _work_. Is that _weird_?”

Patrick’s heart dropped to his stomach. His inclination was to avoid, the way he always did, when the topic of his parents came up. “OK. I’m sure you…” he nervously huffed out a sort of laugh-sound. “I’m sure you have.”

There it was. There was the start of the conversation that Patrick knew he needed to have with David. But he wasn’t ready. It wasn’t how he envisioned them starting. This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t something Patrick had any control over. He didn’t _want_ this to be happening.

_Not now. Not today._

David asked him, “Like. They know about me. Right?”

_God. Oh god. No._

Patrick did his best. Patrick would never lie to David. That was a line he wouldn’t cross. His mother always taught him that he couldn’t … shouldn’t lie. But for nearly a year he was able to skirt the issue. Change the subject. Avoid the tough conversation. If he could just make it one more week, he could tell them and then it would all be OK.

His ship was sinking and he was not going to go down without a fight. “Of course, they know about you. What do you mean? Why…?”

Then he saw the look on David’s face. The look of uncertainty masking what was most likely pain. Or, worse… disappointment. “Like. They know about _us_ … Right?”

He heard it in David’s voice. The soft, vulnerable way he asked. _Right?_

 _He knows. Oh god, he knows._ Patrick thought as he wordlessly turned away from David. _Fuck you, Brewer, for being so goddamned weak._

He needed time to think. He glanced at the door. He wanted to leave. _Needed_ to leave. But he shouldn’t. He couldn’t. He didn’t.

He fought the urge.

David needed to hear the truth from him. David _deserved_ to hear the truth. The time to face up to it all was on him. Whether Patrick had control of the situation or not; the time was upon him.

 _Be a man, Brewer. For once… be a fucking man._ He told himself.

He turned back to David whose face was unable to hide his feelings. Shock. Disappointment. Anguish.

Patrick joined him on the couch. He couldn’t bring himself to look at David. He could barely bring himself to breathe. Patrick told him that he’d been wanting to tell his parents. He began to ramble. If you were to ask him later, he’d tell you he didn’t even remember what he said, really. He just wanted David to know the reasons why. There were so many reasons. And, in that moment, they all suddenly sounded remarkably lame to Patrick.

David was talking. Patrick’s heart beat loudly in his ears and he didn’t hear all that David said, but did hear him when he clarified, “S…So all this time your… your parents thought they were just… talking to your… your business partner.”

Patrick clenched his jaw. He turned and looked at David. Saw the pain in his eyes.

Patrick looked away. He had no words. No words to take away the pain he saw. The heartache he caused. He was awash in shame.

He needed to tell David his worry. He felt the need to explain. He knew nothing he said would make it better. He knew there was no reason David should forgive him for not telling his parents about them. He wasn’t sure what to say. 

“David, I know my parents are good people,” He unintentionally pulled vocabulary from David’s words about his own parents. He told David of his fear. Fear that telling his parents would change his relationship with them. His voice broke. He held back tears.

And suddenly David was there. There for him in the way that Patrick had feared he wouldn’t be. His arms moved around Patrick. Pulled him close. Patrick felt the kisses of comfort on his temple.

He leaned into David. Grew strength from him. 

He told David that he would deal with it. Assured David, really assured himself, that he _would_ deal with it as soon as he next saw his parents. _After all,_ he thought _, it will only be a handful of days from now._

Then David held him. Grasped his arm.

If you were to ask Patrick about it, and he were to trust you enough to tell you about one of the most private and stressful conversations he’d ever had in his life, he’d tell you about this one. He’d tell you that there had only been a handful of times in his entire adult life where, rather than being the protector, he was the protected. And that moment, on the couch with David, was one of them.

Patrick would later tell David that he felt _very_ protected in that moment. With David’s arms around him. With David’s face so close to his own. Guiding Patrick. Telling Patrick that it was a very personal experience, and how Patrick dealt with it should be on his own terms.

Patrick, not wanting to sit in that uncomfortable and vulnerable place, needed to find his footing. Needed to remind David… remind _himself_ that he was strong. A man of action. A dependable man. “I’m a take charge guy, David. I like to take charge of things in my life. You know that.”

He’d hoped to hear David reassure him that yes, in fact, Patrick was very strong.

It was then that he saw David’s reaction. Saw that there was something else wrong.

“You’re upset.” He said. His eyes on David’s face. _Damnit, of course he’s upset. I let him down. I’m a disappointment._

And then, David told him.

Patrick’s parents were going to be in town. They were going to be at the surprise party.

_Oh god._

“…what?” Patrick asked. Even though he had heard David. Even though he understood completely.

He witnessed David’s protectiveness again. Offering to be _just_ Patrick’s business partner. Quite possibly the most generous offering from David that Patrick had ever, or would ever see.

Patrick was shaking off the offer as the words came out of David’s mouth. There’s no way. _No way_ Patrick would lie in order to hide his love for David. Not to his parents. Not to anybody.

It was remarkably generous of David to offer. Patrick knew that. But he had already planned to tell his parents. Sure… he had wanted to tell them in his own time, but he was going to do it nonetheless. And hiding it in that moment seemed the wrong thing to do.

“No, David. I… I can’t have you do that. I owe it to us to tell them.” He looked at David and added, “I want them to know.”

And Patrick saw something in David’s eyes. But he wasn’t exactly sure what it was. There were a lot of unexpressed emotions between the two of them, and David was clearly working to keep them all in.

++++++

They sat on the bed. Marcy stood, suddenly, and stared at the door. Clint sat on the end of the bed and watched her.

_No sudden movements._

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, “I need to use the girls’ room.” She turned abruptly, went into the bathroom, and shut the door.

There she sat on the side of the bathtub. Elbows on her knees. Face buried in her hands.

And she wept.

He heard her, of course. He knew why she went in.

Over the course of their 30 plus years of marriage, they’d weathered a lot of things together. Good and bad. From infertility and loss to the birth of their beautiful, unexpected, son. Through the ups and downs of raising a rambunctious, talented, loving boy. And they’d done it well because they worked to keep open lines of communication and offered one another unconditional love and support.

They had, over the years, held one another through emotional times and learned to read what the other needed each time a new situation arose.

Their unspoken rule after all their time as husband and wife was that if one of them went behind a closed door to be emotional, that the door would be honored. Neither did it often. But when one did it, the other understood that they needed to wait. They both knew that when the other was ready, the door would open and they would hash out all that needed to be said.

So, when Marcy went behind a closed door to be emotional, Clint knew that she didn’t want to be disturbed. It wasn’t that she was shutting him out. But in that moment, she did not want to be comforted. She just wanted to be alone with her thoughts for a while. He knew it was her way to think it through without being rushed to find the words. And that eventually, she’d have the words.

He stood and paced the motel room. He went outside to the truck. He noticed a young woman with long, dark hair walking across the parking lot. She did a double take when she saw him. She stopped just outside of the motel office. She watched him walk to the truck. He looked up at her and waved a greeting. She briefly held up a hand to him and then turned to go into the office.

He brought the suitcases into their room. He opened his suitcase and unpacked his shirts. Hung them in the closet.

Clint sat in one of the chairs and thumbed through his phone. Opened up the app that stored his photos. A sentimental man, Clint had purposefully uploaded old family pictures to the app. He looked at the old pictures he had saved of Patrick.

A picture of Clint and Patrick. Patrick in his Little League uniform. From one of the years that Clint was the coach. Patrick held a trophy in his hands. His eyes were squinted nearly shut and his smile was large on his face. He remembered how proud Patrick was that the team won first place that year. He recalled telling Patrick that the whole team worked together to make it happen.

He paused over the one from the year he participated in the Soap Box Derby. Clint looked at Patrick in his little Boy Scout uniform and thought back to the argument he and Marcy had over the Boy Scouts that year. The irony of that time weighed down on him as he thought about it with a new perspective.

Marcy had been angry… furious with him for letting Patrick sign up. Neither typically signed Patrick up for anything without discussing it with the other and Clint, honestly, hadn’t given it a second thought.

“I was a Boy Scout. I learned a lot of good skills.” Clint had argued with her when she expressed her anger with him.

“It’s become too intolerant,” She told him. “I don’t know what the leaders tell them. I don’t want him to be intolerant.”

“He’s not going to be. You and I are teaching him to be respectful.” Clint argued.

“Some of what I’m reading in the news, Clint. It makes me uncomfortable.” She pushed back.

“I don’t know why it makes you uncomfortable.” He told her.

“It’s fine now. Those kids are young. But what happens when they’re all older. In middle school and one of those boys ends up being gay. What are those leaders going to do? Just kick them out like they did that kid in the news? I don’t want Patrick seeing that and thinking it’s OK.” She held her ground with her husband.

“He won’t. We’ll teach him it’s not OK.” Clint told her.

Patrick had never been in the group before, and he was never in it after that year. Marcy wouldn’t allow it.

Clint flipped to the next picture in his phone. The year Patrick won the blue ribbon at the 4-H fair. It brought to mind all the times he and Patrick had spent in the barn and out in the field. Raising animals. Caring for them. Seemed like all of their discussions about sex happened out in that barn.

Clint wondered if he’d messed up. Prior to that moment, Clint had always taken great pride in how he talked with his son about sex. They’d started relatively early and Clint was always completely honest with him so that Patrick would be prepared when the time came.

But in that moment, he thought about those times they’d discussed sex and Clint realized he had always talked about it in terms of men and women. He’d never… not once… considered talking about it in terms of same sex relationships. _The books didn’t tell me I should do that_ , he thought to himself.

His flinger flipped to the next photo. More pictures from junior high and high school sports. Football, hockey, baseball. There he was in his high school uniform. MVP trophy in hand. Chest out. Proud. Clint recalled telling Patrick, “Son, one doesn’t win the MVP without him having the whole team working hard alongside him.”

He was proud of his son. So very proud. He told him that, right?

Clint always thought he was teaching his son to be humble. But as he thought about it, he wondered if he was teaching his son that he wouldn’t stand beside him and, unconditionally, sing out his praises for being great at… life.

He flipped to more pictures. Patrick excelling at everything. A whole series of pictures of Patrick at his school music concerts where he played guitar, piano, ukulele. One of him on stage with a microphone singing a solo. Pictures of him plays.

He did so much, his Patrick. So much to please both his parents. The sports-loving father. The music-loving, artistic mother. An only son who had to be everything to both parents. Clint wondered if the pressure they put on him caused him to not trust that he could just be himself.

As he flipped through the photos, he arrived at some that were taken just over a year prior.

He stared for a long while at the picture of Patrick and Rachel. The one from when they took Clint and Marcy out to dinner to tell them their good news. The news of their engagement. Clint’s fingers settled onto the center of his phone’s screen and he moved his fingers to expand the photo until only Patrick was on the screen.  
  
Patrick’s face. The face of his son upon telling his parents that he was engaged. He wasn’t smiling like someone who was newly engaged. Clint wasn’t sure if he truly ever noticed it before. He moved his fingers on the phone, dragging the photo so that he could see Rachel’s face. She was bright eyed and her smile was so big and excited you could practically see each of her teeth.

He moved his finger again. Pulled Patrick’s face into view. Yes, the corners of his mouth were pulled back and up, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. He knew Patrick’s excited and happy smile. Knew how his eyes crinkled at the edges. How his eyebrows raised. How, sometimes, his smile was so big that his mouth was open. How sometimes… sometimes… he was so happy and silly that, even as a grown man, he stuck his tongue out like he did when he was a little boy.

This _smile_ … this smile at the announcement of his engagement was not a happy smile.

_How did I not see that before?_

Clint’s heart ached. His son must have been miserable. And he’d known it. If Clint were honest with you in that moment, he’d tell you that he’d known since his son was a teenager that there was a part of him that wasn’t happy. Sure. He was good natured. He always had been. Mostly even tempered. Always up for a fun time with friends. And he had a lot of friends. A huge social circle. And he was always busy with them.

When in the thick of a ballgame, or hanging out with a group of his friends, Patrick was all in. Played hard. Laughed hard. Joked with the best of them.

But when Clint caught him alone, sitting on the porch or doing a chore in the barn, Patrick looked serious. Sullen even. Lost deep in thought. He seemed unhappy. And when Clint would approach him for a check in, Patrick would smile brightly and be back to his typically jovial self.

And then there were the breakups throughout college and after. He’d watched his son with Rachel. They seemed to get along so well. Much like Clint and Marcy’s relationship, the two seemed like best friends. And the first time they’d broken up, Clint had been shocked. The kids had been around the house a lot during the time they dated in high school, and Clint had never once heard a cross word between them.

So, when Patrick had come home one weekend from college and told them they’d broken up, he was surprised.

And Patrick? Well, Patrick appeared unphased.

Clint recalled a time, early on, in his own relationship when he and Marcy had broken up when they were dating. Clint had been nearly inconsolable. So, that weekend that Patrick was home from college, Clint kept his eye on him. But Patrick seemed… fine. Oddly… fine.

When they got back together again, Clint and Marcy had been happy. They adored Rachel. They liked that the two had so much in common. They never seemed to argue. She fit with their family.

But then another break-up. And another reunion. And another break-up. It seemed to happen so often that, frankly, Clint was shocked when they announced their engagement.

Clint thought about the conversation he had with Patrick. After they returned home that night from dinner. After Marcy went up to bed. Clint and Patrick went out to the barn to do a final check of the animals. They always had their best talks in the barn.

Clint had asked him if he was sure. “Dating is one thing. But, marriage… that’s a life-long commitment, Son. If you’re going to do this, you need to be sure. Are you sure?” 

“I’m pretty sure, Dad. It’s what she wants, and it makes sense. It’s a logical next step.” Patrick told him. Then he shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets, “I think I need to just commit to it. It’ll be fine. I love her.”

Clint remembered sitting on a bale of hay and looking up at his son as Patrick leaned against the horse stall. He remembered struggling for the right words. He remembered because, if he were really honest about it, he’d acknowledge that in that moment, he hoped with everything within himself that his son would not marry Rachel.

He told Patrick something like, “You can’t choose marriage because it’s a logical step, Son. And, _just committing_ is hard when your heart isn’t in it. If you’re heart’s not in it… if you don’t have the passion… the hard parts will be too hard.”

It was the best way Clint knew to word it. They’d talked about sex when Patrick was younger. But, after he went to college, they didn’t talk about it much. Clint had figured that Patrick and Rachel were having sex and that Patrick didn’t need to ask him questions anymore. So rather than ask him if they were sexually compatible, which was what he had wanted to ask him at the time, he talked to him about passion.

Patrick paused. Kicked the loose hay that was under his foot. Looked at his dad and asked, “What’s passion supposed to feel like, Dad? How am I supposed to know?”

And that was when Clint knew for certain. Knew his son didn’t have what he should have with Rachel. She was probably just the wrong girl for him, Clint had thought.

Clint had wanted to say _if you don’t know son, then you don’t have it._ But his adult son was genuinely asking him a question. And just as he did when his son was younger, he spelled it out for him. Clearly. Plainly. As best he could.

Clint stood. Looked his son in the eyes. “It’s when… you can’t wait to see her. Your fingers… they need to touch her. You feel it, Patrick, from the tips of your toes to the top of your head when you’re with her. It’s…it’s… _fucking fireworks_ , Son.” 

Clint recalled when Patrick told his parents that the engagement was off. Told them that he’d be leaving town. Marcy had taken the news badly. She and Clint had been on the same page. She agreed that Patrick’s relationship likely wasn’t what it should be. And though she adored Rachel – they were close, as though Rachel were Marcy’s own daughter – Marcy wasn’t upset that they broke up. Marcy’s real grief was that Patrick was leaving town.

Both Clint and Marcy had been afraid to tell Patrick what they really felt about the breakup, because they knew it would just be a matter of time before Patrick and Rachel were back together again. So, they both kept their words to themselves in an effort to not hurt their future relationship with their son.

So far as Patrick knew, they adored her. And they did. She was lovely and they considered her family. But she wasn’t right for Patrick. Neither of his parents thought so. Both were afraid to say it to him.

And then Patrick had left town. And he stayed out of town for nearly a year. Sure, they spoke. Phone calls, emails, texts. The occasional Facetime. But Clint and Patrick hadn’t really talked like they used to. Not since that night when he told Patrick that he maybe shouldn’t get married. 

Over the course of the last year, he’d had regrets. As he sat there and looked at photos of his son, he wondered if part of why Patrick hadn’t told him about David was because he couldn’t trust that Clint would be supportive. Because, Clint wasn’t supportive of Patrick’s engagement to Rachel. If Clint were being honest, he regretted how he had handled the news of the engagement and later the news of their last breakup.

If you’d have asked Clint what he might have done differently through that time – the engagement and the subsequent breakup – Clint would have shrugged. He’d have been at a loss for words. He only knew he wished he’d have not done what he did.

As he sat there, he thought about how very close they’d been when Patrick was growing up. From the time he was a boy, he would hang out with Clint and ask him questions. There was no topic off bounds. Patrick would bring to Clint his life’s problems. The kind of problems a boy needed to discuss with his dad. Playground fights. Questions about sex. Choosing a college. They had talked through so many issues that Clint used to feel like he helped shape the man Patrick later became.

Clint had lived with the belief that he and his son had cultivated a relationship where honesty and respect for one another allowed them to talk about anything. _Just about_ anything.

_Why didn’t he talk to me? Why didn’t he trust me? Did I push him away when I encouraged him to not marry Rachel? Did he think I’d judge his being gay?_

Clint could not sit alone with it any longer. He needed his wife. Closed door be damned.

He stood quickly. “Marse.” He knocked on the bathroom door louder than he probably should have.

“I’m not ready to talk,” She told him through the door.

“Sorry, Marcy, but I am. I need you. I need to not have a door between us right now.” Clint told her.

Her husband was not usually one to disrupt her time of solitude. Not typically one who would tell her that he needed her to stop what she was doing because _he_ needed _her._ She immediately opened the door to find him standing near the bathroom.

Shaken.

Normally _her_ protector. She saw him there with vulnerability on his face. He needed her. He needed _her_ to protect _him_ in that moment.

She could tell, as she looked at the pink surrounding his piercing blue eyes, that he was on the verge of tears.

She both needed to hear what he had to say and feared what he was going to say. She knew whatever they uttered in that moment was safe. Their bond and their privacy sacred. But she also didn’t want either of them to say something they could never take back.

She nodded. Held out her hand. They walked, together, to the bed and sat down. Their legs pressed against each other. Grounding each other.

She leaned her shoulder against him.

The room was quiet.

“How?” Clint began to speak. He stopped and coughed. Cleared the emotion from his throat. “How is it I don’t know my own son? _My_ son?”

“Clint,” She wasn’t sure what to say. Because she’d been thinking the same thing.

“What did I do wrong that he didn’t feel like he could tell me?” Clint asked her.

Marcy shook her head. “I was thinking the same thing.”

++++++

They sat on the couch for a good long while. David’s arms around Patrick. Patrick leaned into David. Holding David’s arm in his grasp.

David’s fingers tracing circles on Patrick’s back. On his arms.

Quiet.  
  
Both thinking.

From time to time David kissed him on the temple. On the cheek.

“I’m sorry. You brought pizza.” Patrick sat up. “You’re probably hungry.”

David shook his head. “I can wait.”

Patrick let go of his grip on David’s arm. “No. Eat. I’m sorry. I’m sure it’s cold by now.”

“It’ll be fine.” David stood, “Want some?”

Patrick was not hungry. At all. But he knew that if he refused to eat, David would say something and it would become a thing.

“Sure,” Patrick stood. Went to the refrigerator. Brought a couple of sodas to the table.

They sat. Eating in silence. Both lost in their thoughts. Both concerned about what to say.

Neither wanting to delve into it at that moment.

“So, what’s the plan for tonight?” Patrick asked him.

The two of them laid out a plan. Patrick would arrive to the café at 7:30 because the attendees were scheduled to arrive between 7:00 and 7:15; and there were bound to be late arrivals. Patrick would do his best to act surprised. Then after the initial hellos, he could slip away with his parents and tell them.

“I could just wait. Tell them after,” Patrick told David. The idea seemed logical until he said it out loud.

David sat back in his chair; his eyes locked on Patrick while he aggressively took a large bite of pizza. He said nothing. His face hid nothing. His eyes told Patrick all he was thinking.

Patrick huffed out an uncomfortable laugh. “You’re right. I won’t put it off.”

“Thank you,” David muttered around the pizza still in his mouth.

“Are they staying at the motel?” Patrick asked.

“Mmm,” David nodded.

“For how long? Just the night… or…?”

“All weekend. I’m not sure when they’re headed home. Sunday, I think.” David told him.

“What if I just… if I went there and told them… _now_?” Patrick asked.

David shrugged. Another bite of pizza. He took his time chewing it. Swallowed. Took a drink of soda to wash it down. Thought before he spoke.

He could tell him _your parents already know_. But he didn’t want to take it away from Patrick. Terri was right. A coming out story is an important part of one’s journey. And for Patrick to have one, he needed to tell his parents. In whatever way he chose, Patrick needed to tell them.

“You could, if you wanted. But then you’re letting them know that you know that they’re here. Then there’s no real need for the surprise party to be a surprise.” David said.

Patrick tried to track what David said.

Then David waved his hand in front of himself as if to erase what he had just said. “The party doesn’t matter. Never mind. If you want to go see them at the motel, we can do that.”

“No, wait. Who planned the surprise party?” Patrick asked.

“I did.” David said as though Patrick were dense to think anyone else had planned it.

“Did you get any help?” Patrick asked.

“Twyla… I ordered stuff from her. Arranged to use the café,” David said. “Stevie. She helped with reservations for your parents without alerting my dad to them coming.”

“That’s all? My folks… Did they help plan it? I mean… they knew it was a surprise?” Patrick asked.

“Yeah. I talked with them about it.” David told him.

“Did they try to talk you out of it?” Patrick asked.

David sipped his soda. Eyed Patrick. Said nothing.

“Mom tried to talk you out of it,” Patrick said.

“What makes you say that?” David asked.

“She always told me she couldn’t have a surprise party for me. She didn’t trust that I would stay put,” Patrick told him.

“She said you’d run,” David nodded. “It would seem that you’ve run from uncomfortable situations before?” David scrunched up his face as he stated the obvious that both men knew to be true.

David continued. “I mean… I know you have since I’ve known you. But, like… you ran away from things that upset you… _even as a_ _little boy_?”

Patrick nodded. “I think I need to keep this birthday a surprise. Show them that I’m a big boy, now.”

David pulled his mouth into a smile. Raised an eyebrow. “You are. You are a big boy, now.”

++++++

They lay in the bed.

Spoons.

Nothing on them but a bedsheet.

Spent from making love.

Chatting.

Terri’s hand gently rubbing circles over Amy’s bare belly.

Amy, a pillow between her knees, rolled back against her wife; Terri supporting her in the one position that was still comfortable for Amy.

“I’m just saying,” Amy told her, “That when you keep stuff like that to yourself, it makes me feel like you don’t trust me.”

“I’m not going to apologize for keeping something private when he asked me to do it,” Terri told her again. “We keep people’s privacy all the time. It’s what we do. I don’t ask you to tell me the things you keep.”

“… _about clients_. These guys are not our clients. They’re our friends.” Amy told her.

“OK. OK. OK.” Terri’s voice was quiet. Smooth. Her mouth close to Amy’s ear. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“What else have you kept from me. I want to know.” Amy reached a hand back and patted Terri’s hip.

“I honestly don’t know.” Terri told her. “It’s not like I think… OK I’m not telling Amy. It’s just… I don’t say it. Then it goes somewhere, sits in the back of my mind with all the other things I know about people.”

Amy shut her eyes and waited. Then felt like she should add, “If you tell me to not say anything to David, I won’t. Just, tell me what you know.”

“Mmmm.” Terri searched the back of her brain. “Oh. Yeah. Patrick knew that you wanted David to be our donor.”

Amy’s eyes flew open wide. “What? How did he know that?” She struggled and tried to sit up, but Terri pushed on her shoulders and kept her laying down.

“He guessed it. Or, maybe I told him. I… honestly? It was just a conversation. New Year’s Eve, when told him you were pregnant.” Terri told her.

“Wait. You _told him_? On New Year’s Eve? We hadn’t even told Nan and Pop, yet.” Amy was incredulous.

“He saw you weren’t drinking. He asked if you were sick.” Terri told her. Her hand still rubbing circles over Amy’s belly.

“He’s an observant little man,” Amy laughed. Then she sobered, “David’s never said a word about it.”

“I don’t know if David knows. Patrick and I haven’t talked about it. And really? I don’t want to know if David knows.” Terri said.

Amy shook her head. “Me either.”

Terri’s hands continued to stroke Amy’s belly. When she felt the familiar rolling, she pressed her palm firmly to Amy. Felt the baby moving. She loved when it happened.

Terri chuckled, “She does not like it when you lay still.”

Amy laid her hand beside Terri’s on her round belly.

“I’m glad you talked me out of asking him,” Amy rolled her head back so she could look up into her wife’s eyes. She’d never told her that before, and it was important to Amy that Terri know it.

“The closer we get to this baby being born, the more I’m thankful that the donor was anonymous,” Terri kissed Amy. “Thank you for giving in on that one.”

Amy rolled onto her back and reached up for Terri and pulled her close for another kiss.

“You were right,” Amy murmured against her lips.

Terri pulled her head away from Amy. Raised an eyebrow. A glint in her steel blue eyes.

Terri lowered her mouth to Amy’s belly. “Hey, baby girl. Did you hear what your mommy just said? She said Momma was right.”

As Amy giggled, her belly bounced.

“What?” Terri continued to talk to Amy’s belly. “You want to hear it again? I think I do, too.”

Amy rolled her eyes. Giggled. “Is it ever in question?”

“I think… I just… I think I need to hear it. I think… we both need to hear it.” Terri said pointing at Amy’s belly. “Maybe with my name attached to the words… you know… for clarity.”

A wicked smile crossed her face as her hand reached the spot just under Amy’s armpit that caused Amy to explode into a fit of giggles.

“OK. OK!” Amy squealed. Her legs kicked. “You were right. Terri-fuckin-Morgan was RIGHT!”

++++++

They were back on the couch. Sitting quietly. David sitting upright. Patrick laying on his side; his legs draped over the arm of the couch. His head in David’s lap. David’s fingers stroked Patrick’s hair.

Both of them lost in their own thoughts.

David knew he needed to go. There were things to do before the party. He thought that Patrick was calm and ready. But part of him still worried.

“I’m going to need your keys,” David said.

“What do… you mean?” Patrick asked him. He sat up.

“You know what I mean. Where are your car keys?” David told him.

“Over on my desk.” Patrick said. “You need the car for something?”

David crossed the room to get the keys. Dropped them into his pocket. Headed purposefully toward the door. “No, but I’m taking it with me.”

Patrick took a step. Stood between David and the door. “Why?”

Each of David’s hands gripped Patrick. Held on to his biceps. “Love of my life. I need you to stay here. Stay in town. Please, Patrick.”

Recognition and resignation crossed Patrick’s face. He nodded. His gaze dropped to the floor between them. “Yeah. I understand. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You owe it to your parents.” David said. He kissed Patrick’s forehead.

“I do. I do. You’re right.”

++++++

David parked the car behind the store and went in the back entrance. He didn’t want any customers to think they were open. Because they definitely _were not_ open. The last thing he needed that afternoon was Roland to drop by to talk about his foot cream. Or for Bob and Gwen to start the great debate about whether bath bombs are better than bath salts, like they did the last time they were in the store. And _god-help-him_ if he had to hold his shit together and deal with Darlene’s cousin and her attitude.

No. Best to keep the store locked up tight.

He gathered the boxes that had to go to the post office and took them out to the car. When he returned to the store, he quickly closed out the register and tallied the morning’s sales, went to the office and made sure everything was put away. After a stop at the post office, he would be done with the store for the day.

On his way back through the store, he stopped. Reached for his favorite of the metallic gift baskets and set it on the counter by the register. He turned and surveyed the products in the store.

“OK, Marcy Brewer,” He said out loud. “You’re about to get the gift basket to end all gift baskets.”

He pushed up his sleeves and walked through the store. Choosing the best and most appropriate items to put in the basket.

Things that would speak to her.

An olive branch that he hoped would soothe the situation.

He made a sound of frustration as he looked over the goat milk products. They were completely out of the Body Milk that he knew Mrs. Brewer liked.

For months he’d snuck out packages in their regular mailings. In each package he’d send her one of their newer products: the apricot jam, or one of the dip mixes, or the natural toothpaste.

He always put a little note in the box:

_Mrs. B - Here’s a new product I need you to test for us. To thank you for your time, here’s some of your favorite lotion. – David_

And he loved when she’d send him a text with photos of the tested product and a little review. Their own private little talks that he never told Patrick about.

His heart dropped as he thought about it. The whole time, he had assumed that Mrs. Brewer was talking to David… Patrick’s _boyfriend_. And now, David knew the truth. She was talking to David… Patrick’s _business partner_.

He wondered if she was upset. He hated to think of her upset.

He thought about Patrick’s dad. He didn’t speak to the man often. He was always kind, but… he was always talking to Patrick’s _business partner_. Not his boyfriend. What would he think of Patrick and David being in a relationship? What kind of a man was he at his core?

David wanted to think the best. No two intolerant people could raise a man like Patrick… right? _Right?_

A kaleidoscope of butterflies went off in his stomach.

He set all the items he wanted to give her on the counter. He shook off his sadness and began to create the basket.

Yes. He was going to go meet them in person. Take them the basket. And try, like hell, to make sure that everything at the party went off without a hitch.  
  
Patrick was going to come out to his parents and David needed to make sure that it was safe for him to do so.

++++++

He parked Patrick’s car and sat for a moment.

Another deep breath. In and out.

He stepped out of the car and reached into the back seat for the basket. Wrapped his arms protectively around it.

 _Please. Please let this be OK. For Patrick. Please_. David sent a request out to the universe.

He marched across the parking lot.

He took a deep breath. Let it out.

Then he knocked.

There she was. She opened the door.

Patrick’s mom.

He looked around her and saw Patrick’s dad sitting on the bed.

He smiled, “Hi. Mrs. Brewer. Mr. Brewer. I’m David Rose.”

+++

End Part 3 of 6

+++


	30. Patrick’s Surprise (MTP): Part 4 of 6 – The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David talks with the Brewers at the motel. Everyone gathers at the café. Stevie keeps an eye out for Patrick. Patrick struggles, but arrives at his surprise party. He comes out to his parents and the party begins. Clint and Marcy keep an eye on their son. Patrick enjoys his friends and his time with David. Twyla puts her foot down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is part 4 of 6 chapters. It takes place during 5.11.
> 
> +++
> 
> You'll probably pick up on this, but I want to point out that I use different names when I'm talking about Clint and Marcy - depending on whose point of view the story is being told. 
> 
> When David is with them and we are seeing things from David's point of view, they are Mr. and Mrs. Brewer or "Patrick's parents". When I am writing things from their point of view, they are Clint and Marcy. And when I'm talking in a general point of view, they are Clint and Marcy. Just wanted to clarify to avoid confusion. 
> 
> Not sure there is anything else to set up here. 
> 
> +++
> 
> Like you, tonight I am exhausted. Emotionally, physically, spiritually.  
> Like you, I weep knowing the sheer numbers who voted to keep him in power.  
> Like you, I equate those numbers with people who are filled with hate and intolerance for people like me.  
> Like you, I am embarrassed as I wonder what the rest of the world thinks as they watch our mess unfold.  
> Like you, I wait; cautiously hopeful that we may see a new president be named.  
> Like you, I am so traumatized from the past, that I'm afraid of that hope. 
> 
> But, like you, I will keep watching. 
> 
> Be safe. 
> 
> -PD
> 
> +++

++++++

“…. I know that came out wrong, but we all understand what I’m saying, right?” David asked them.

“OK,” Mrs. Brewer said with a smile.

“OK,” David said.

“Yeah,” Mr. Brewer agreed.

David let out a sigh of relief. “Whoo.”

Johnny put his hand on his son’s back. Felt relief that things appeared to be smoothed over. He caught his son’s eye. He knew that his son was, as yet, not happy with him.

“Well, then,” Johnny smacked David’s back. “I suppose I should get back to work. Clint. Marcy. We’ll see you tonight. Please let us know if you need anything to make your stay more comfortable.”

And with that, Johnny retreated from the room leaving David alone with Patrick’s parents.

There was an uncomfortable silence that fell around them.

The fingers on his left hand worried the rings on his right. He stared at the wall hanging over Mr. Brewer’s shoulder.

“Would you… David would you care to sit for a while?” Patrick’s mom asked him. She motioned toward the couch.

Knowing there was only one correct answer to the question, David nodded, “Yes. Yes, I would.” And he walked between Patrick’s parents and found a seat on the far end of the couch. Nervously perched on the edge of the seat. Hands clasped tightly together, resting on his knees; David waited while they joined him.

She sat on the couch with David. Patrick’s dad sat across from them in the armchair.

Mr. Brewer eyed David. From the top of his head to the tips of his toes.

Clint tried to not stare at him. But he did. He knew it was rude; and normally he’d be more polite. But he was still processing and hadn’t completely had time to digest it all. He wanted to see the man who had, by all accounts, stolen his son’s heart. He was curious about the type of man his son would be drawn to. Given that he was just learning that his son was drawn to a man.

He had, of course, talked with David several times on the phone. And he’d been around a few times when Clint had talked with his son on Facetime. But seeing him in person was a completely different matter. The young man had an… energy… about him. Clint wondered if he was nervous or… _how many rings does he have on his fingers?_

David tried to act like he didn’t notice. But he did. He always knew when someone was taking in his appearance. This certainly wasn’t the first time. Though it made him uncomfortable, he understood why it was happening.

And of course, David had already taken in in Mr. Brewer’s appearance. He was tall. Much taller than David had expected. And the blue sweater did not go unnoticed. Patrick had once told him… _A Brewer man can never have too many blue shirts._ David had thought he was kidding.

Mrs. Brewer drew his attention when she reached out and touched David’s shoulder, “It’s so nice to meet you in person, David. You’re much taller than I expected.”

Initially, David stiffened at her touch, but then forced himself to relax. “I wasn’t sure if you’d recognize me from the few times we’ve Facetimed,” he said. “I’ve…I’ve been looking forward to meeting you in person, also…Mrs. Brewer,” He nodded. Then, after a dry swallow, he added, “Mr. Brewer.”

The room was quiet, again.

David twisted the rings on his fingers, again. He noticed Mr. Brewer looking at his hands. He stopped. Covered his right hand with his left. Covered his rings.

He took a deep breath and let it out. He turned to look at Mrs. Brewer. “How was the trip down?”

“Good,” She nodded, quickly filling the quiet space.

David looked at Mr. Brewer. They locked eyes. Brilliant blue locking with David’s dark brown.

 _Please_. David thought. _Please, for Patrick._

And then Patrick’s dad smiled. A smile that reminded him of Patrick. And then came the words. He did just what Patrick would do. In an act that was generous. Kind. Intended to put everyone at ease.

Mr. Brewer chuckled easily and said, “Well, this one. She loves a good road trip only because of the music and the snacks.”

A bright, toothy smile crossed David’s face. He leaned back into his seat, “Snacks on a road trip are _very_ important, but maybe not as important as the playlist.”

“And she insists we stop at least once an hour,” Clint leaned back. Crossed one leg over the other.

David reached out and touched Marcy’s arm. “I’m the same way. You must be the person I have to thank.”

“Oh?” Marcy asked.

“Your son has _never once_ complained at the number of times I have to stop when we are on a road trip to visit our vendors.” David told her.

Then he turned to Patrick’s dad and said, “He must have learned his patience from you.”

++++++

Patrick lay on his bed. Arms spread wide. Heart racing.

His stomach did a flip-flop.

He’d been over the words so many times in his head before that day that it seemed silly to go over them again.

He recognized that his anxiety was not in telling them. It was in anticipating their response.

He recalled a conversation he once had with Terri when she asked him, “Have your parents ever given you any indication that they wouldn’t fully support you?”

His mind took a walk through his childhood. From the ball games to the recitals. The Christmases and the summer breaks. The big family gatherings and the times he was alone with his parents at the kitchen table.

From the time he dropped the f-bomb and his mother was furious with him. To the time he broke his arm and lied about how it happened. To the time he won the ribbon at the fair. To the time when his team won the championship. To the time got his first hand job and was late getting home, breaking curfew. His parents had always… _always_ … loved him. Stood by him. Unwavering in their role as dedicated parents.

 _I don’t have to worry._ He told himself. _I don’t have to worry._

_…Right?_

++++++

Clint was pleased with how the conversation had gone. They’d been able to work past the initial stages of uncomfortableness. They had talked for nearly a half hour.

He was the same, kind, respectful young man that he was to them on the phone. He was the same intelligent and creative person that Patrick had told him about. He just… was his son’s _boyfriend_. Not his _business partner_.

Clint was wrapping his head around it. Sort of.

David checked the time on his phone. Patted his knees. “I really need to go get ready. I need to change and then meet Twyla for last minute preparations at the café.” David stood.

Clint and Marcy stood.

“Do you… would you like for… may I help in any way?” Marcy asked him.

“You,” David touched her arm, “are an honored guest tonight. And there is nothing you _need_ to do. But if it would help you to be busy? I say the _more_ the _merrier_.”

In that moment, Clint felt grateful. He imagined that David was probably not a “The more the merrier” kind of person and by saying so, he was being kind.

He watched David put Marcy at ease. He spoke her language. He saw her. He saw what she needed. And if Clint hadn’t already liked the man with whom his son was in a relationship, that move alone would have sealed the deal.

Clint reached out a hand to David. “David, thank you. We’ll talk about when to head that way and we’ll let you know what time to expect us. And, of course, we’re happy to help in any way.”  
  
The handshake was a solid one. Clint liked that. Straightforward. Firm. Sure. Strong.

He watched Marcy reach her arms out. Watched her hug David. Pat his back. Watched David as he awkwardly accepted the hug.

After David left, they stood by the door. Marcy looked up at him and exhaled loudly. Made a sound of relief and bent her knees a little.

She nodded her head. “That was good, right? He likes us, right?”

Clint brought her into his embrace. She pressed her body against his. Rested her cheek against his broad chest. “I think it was he who was worried we wouldn’t like him.”

“How could we not?” Marcy told her husband. “We’ve been talking with him on and off for ages. He’s delightful.”

“I think he understood that the relationship we’ve had with him has been, in our minds, with our son’s _business_ partner,” Clint told her.

“I want to see the two of them together,” Marcy said. “I like David. I always have. I’m just…” Marcy stood back so she could see her husband’s eyes. “Don’t hate me for what I’m about to say.”

“You’re having trouble picturing it. The two of them… as boyfriends.” Clint said the words so she wouldn’t have to.

Marcy shrugged her shoulders. “I support him. I do. I just… I’m having trouble believing it until I see it… I guess?”

“I know,” Clint nodded.

“It’s not… It’s not David. I’m having trouble picturing our boy with a… boyfriend. Is that the word we use?” Marcy asked.

“I _think_ it’s the word we use. I don’t know.” Clint said.

“I need to see them together,” Marcy said. She furrowed her brow as she looked up at her husband.

“I need to see that he’s happy with David. I just need to see him happy,” Clint said.

Marcy exhaled loudly again. “Me, too, Clint. Me, too.”

+++++

He’d texted his sister multiple times throughout the day. She was aware of the situation and would let his mother know. David was counting on his father to hold his shit together.

He’d kept his texts to Patrick to a few limited ones mainly discussing time and what to wear. Patrick had wondered if he should dress up. Maybe wear his blue suit jacket. David reminded him it was a _casual surprise_ party and jeans and his new shirt would be _just fine._

He’d arranged for Stevie to arrive early to help keep himself in check. She’d assist him in welcoming guests, but more importantly she was to be the lookout to alert the group when Patrick was coming. Even though David knew exactly when he was scheduled to arrive.

He’d texted some with Amy who _assured_ him that she and Terri would stay out of the way and let all events unfold naturally without any… _therapeutic_ help from _you-know-who._ *Shoulder shrug emoji* *Face with rolling eyes emoji*

He’d texted with Patrick’s mom. Arranged for them to arrive a little before the guests so that Mrs. Brewer would be able to help set the food out. Of course, he’d paid Twyla and some of her coworkers to take care of everything, but he felt like Mrs. Brewer needed to feel useful. And the bonus, of course, was that Twyla would keep her busy with some of her stories.

++++++

Patrick checked the time, again. It was time.

Time to go.

Time to see them. Time to tell them.

His stomach did a flip-flop.

He stepped into the hallway and locked his apartment door. As he turned to head toward the stairway, he ran into his next-door-neighbor, Katie.

“Oh! Patrick!” she said. Eyes shifting. Looking nervous.

“Hi, Katie. Going out?” Patrick asked her. Not thinking. Not thinking at all.

“Um. Yeah. Yeah. I have a… uh… thing.” She said. She shifted the gift bag she held in an attempt to hide it behind her back.

Patrick suddenly realized that she was likely invited to his party.

“You know what?” He said. “I just realized I forgot my phone.” He turned and unlocked his apartment door. “Have a good time at your… thing.” He said with a smile as he went back into his apartment to wait a few minutes before leaving again.

++++++

Stevie stood at her post at the front window. She looked out and saw him walking down the sidewalk toward the Café.

“He’s coming,” She said over her shoulder.

The group in the café grew quiet and huddled to the middle of the restaurant.

Stevie looked out and saw him stop. Saw him jam his hands in his pockets. Saw him turn around. A complete 180. And walk the other way.

She turned back to the group. “Sorry. Not him. Thought it was him. Not him.” She waved her hand as if to tell them all to carry on.

David joined her at the front window. “How do you confuse someone else for…” he stopped talking as he looked over her shoulder out the window and saw him. Patrick. Pacing in front of the store.

“Fuck,” David whispered. “I knew it.”

“Just give him a minute. He’s a little early anyway. Maybe he’s killing time,” Stevie offered supportively.

“Or maybe he’s contemplating sticking out his thumb and taking the next truck that passes by right out of town,” David whispered harshly.

“Go talk to people. If they see you here looking, they’ll assume there’s a problem. I’ll keep my eye on him.” Stevie said.

David walked back to the group. Talked to Cody. Talked to some of the friends who played with them on the baseball team. Introduced Patrick’s parents to people.

All while Stevie stood with her nose pressed to the window. Watching him.

Patrick sat on the stoop of the Apothecary. Head in his hands. She watched him. Not moving. Just sitting.

“Come on, Patrick. Get up. Come on,” She whispered.

He stood. She waited.

He turned and walked away from the café again. Walked nearly a block away before turning around and coming back toward the store where he leaned a hand against it. Hung his head.

“Come on.” She whispered again, willing him to walk in her direction.

And then he turned. Walked in the other direction. Walked away. Turned the corner.

He was out of sight.

 _Fuck_. She whispered to herself. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

She didn’t know what to do. She looked over her shoulder at David. He was talking with Patrick’s parents.

Then she saw Patrick walk up the other side of the Apothecary. He must have circled the block. He sat there on the little ledge beside David’s mom’s garden.

“Come on, Patrick.” She whispered.

He stood again and walked to the front of the Apothecary. Sat down on the stoop, again.

Stevie waited. Watched him. Wondered if she needed to go out and see him. Tell him to knock that shit off. David had worked too hard for Patrick to fuck this up.

Then he stood, suddenly.

He turned and faced the café.

“That’s it,” Stevie whispered.

He stood there for a moment before taking a step. And then another. He stepped off the curb and into the street.

She turned to the group. Excited. “He’s coming! He’s coming!” She declared and walked quickly to join the group.

David turned to address the group. “OK. He’s coming. He’s coming. So… are we on lights. Also, we’re going with _surprise_. _Happy Birthday_ was too wordy and we couldn’t nail it at rehearsal.”

As David spoke, Marcy turned to Clint. “Honey,” She said quietly. Excited that she was about to see her boy. Worried, because she knew he was scared.

Clint looped an arm around her. Squeezed her. Kissed her on the temple. He, too, was excited. Nervous, knowing that his son was about to have a very significant night.

As people gathered, David turned. “OK. OK, great.”

They all paused.

Quiet.

They heard the door open.

Patrick strode into the room.

“Surprise!” David clapped.

“Surprise!” Patrick’s parents shouted.

“Surprise!” Alexis, Stevie, and Johnny called out.

“Surprise!” Terri and Amy yelled.

“Surprise!” Called all his friends in the room.

“ _Happy Birthday!_ ” Moira said in her best celebratory tone.

++++++

She waited with bated breath. There. There he was. Her boy. Her sweet boy.

She watched him come into the room and walk right into the arms of David.

Marcy leaned against Clint. His arm tightened around her shoulder.

She watched the ease with which he went into David’s arms.

Then… her boy turned to her.

“What is happening? I thought you guys were out of town?” He said.

And her arms were around him. If only for a moment. She wanted to hold him. Tighten her arms around him and not let go. Tell him that she was there and she loved him. Tell him that whomever he chose to love, she would celebrate it with him.

But he released her and so she released him.

He hugged his father.

“We’re just so happy to be included,” She said. Nervous.

She could not take her eyes off of him.

She began to relax. He looked wonderful. Healthy.

She finally… _finally_ … was in the same room as her boy.

She watched him as Clint told him that he had a wonderful friend in David.

Saw his nervousness as he watched David tell Clint that he was glad that they could make it to the party.

She wanted to make it better. Ease the tension. Tell him it was all OK. Tell him they knew. Remind him of their never-ending love for him.

But she knew better. She knew he needed to say the words. At least, that’s what David told them when they’d asked him earlier at the motel. He explained to them that everyone had a coming out story that they carried with them. And his experience in telling his parents would likely become his coming out story.

So, she and Clint had chosen to honor it.

Of course, they had questions. So _very many_ questions. But David had advised them. Told them, certainly, they could ask any question they wanted to of Patrick. But, he asked them to please hold the questions until later in the weekend. And that is what she and Clint had agreed to.

Tonight, was about giving him space and time to come out to them. And then it was about celebrating her boy’s birthday. Celebrating seeing him again. Meeting his friends. Meeting his community.

She and Clint moved to sit back down in their booth, giving Patrick a bit of time with David.

“He looks good, right? Feeling better?” Clint asked her. Patted her leg.

“Better. I want to get this over with. I don’t want this between us anymore,” She told her husband. Then she added, “I just want to have a good weekend with my boy.”

“We will, Marcy. We will.” Clint pulled her close and kissed her on the temple.

And then Patrick was sliding into the booth across from them.

++++++

“Oh, man.” Patrick rubbed his hand over his mouth. “I didn’t know how I was going to tell you guys.” He took a ragged breath. Relieved not only that it was over, but that it seemed to be… OK.

“Well… we’re just glad you finally did,” Marcy said to him. “Happy Birthday… my _sweet_ boy.”

“Thank you,” Patrick said quietly. He glanced over to David, wanting to let him know it was done. He’d told them.

He saw David and his family looking at them. He locked eyes on David while David’s family looked away as though they hadn’t been staring at Patrick and his parents.

Patrick motioned with his hand. Asked David to join them.

A smile crossed David’s face. He looked at Stevie. She nodded at him. “You’ve got this.” She said.

He crossed the room and stood at the end of the booth.

“Hi,” David said.

Patrick patted the seat in the booth beside himself.

David sat. His hands in his lap.

“David. I just told my parents that you’re my boyfriend,” Patrick told him. He reached over to David’s lap to hold his hand.

Under the table, their fingers intertwined.

“Oh,” David nodded. He locked eyes with Mr. Brewer. Then he looked at Mrs. Brewer. She smiled at him. He squeezed Patrick’s hand a little tighter.

“Mom? Dad? Do you … are there questions that you have? For either of us?” Patrick asked. His face serious. Ready to conquer whatever needed conquering.

Marcy began to speak, “Well, yes…”

Clint interrupted her. “Seems like we’re at a party tonight, though. _Right?”_

Marcy nodded, “You’re right. We’ll be here all weekend. Maybe we should save the questions for tomorrow.”

“You sure?” Patrick asked her.

Clint looked from Patrick to David. Back to Patrick. “You have a lot of friends here who are patiently waiting for some attention.”

“Dad? You drove all this way. You’re the ones I want to spend time with.” Patrick told him. Eyed him. Worried about what his dad was really thinking. He knew his dad took some time to process news like he just heard. Wondered if his dad didn’t want to talk because he was upset.

Clint smiled at him. “We’ll talk, Patrick. Greet your friends. We’re here all weekend.”

Patrick leaned into David. Shoulder leaning on shoulder. “David?”

“I think your dad’s right,” David’s voice was soft. “Maybe we should greet your guests.” He scooted out of the booth and stood beside it. Waited for Patrick to stand also.

Clint also stood up. And as Patrick got out of the booth he looked up at his dad. The soulful brown eyes looking up at him reminded Clint of when Patrick was a child.

His breath caught in his chest.

Clint opened his arms and said, “My god I love you, Paddy.”

Upon hearing the nickname his father used for him in his childhood, Patrick dove into his father’s strong embrace. Buried his head into his father’s chest. His arms tight around his dad’s waist.

David, uncomfortable with the display he was witnessing glanced at Marcy who looked at David with tears in her eyes. She smiled at him. He smiled back at her.

He looked over his shoulder at his family who, again, averted their attention after having watched the scene unfold.

++++++

David and Patrick moved in separate directions to work the room. There were a lot of people there who needed thanked for coming. People who wanted to wish Patrick well.

None, with the exception of family… and Terri and Amy… and Twyla and Stevie, knew that it was also Patrick’s _coming out_ party. Mainly because everyone there already knew Patrick was in a relationship with David.

The first person Patrick saw was clearly Cody. Who could miss him with that red hair? “Patrick! Happy Birthday!” He held his glass up in the air when he saw him. Patrick greeted him with a smile and a handshake that turned into a hug.

He also greeted Katie, who poked him in the chest and said, “I nearly blew the surprise!” To which he responded with a big smile, “I honestly had no clue!”

David fluttered over the buffet of food that sat on the café’s counter. Checked in with Twyla and thanked her for her hard work.

Patrick stopped to talk to the handful of people from the softball team who had come. “You guys! It’s so cool of you to come!” He gave each of them hugs.

As Patrick walked through the group of friends, he caught sight of her. Standing in the far corner. Leaning against the wall. He’d not seen her prior to that moment. A big smile crossed his face. “Morgan!” He said in a loud voice that boomed through the room.

She gave him a nod and kicked away from the wall. Walked toward him; opened her arms. “Brewer.”

He embraced her. She smacked her hand soundly on his back. “I told them, Terri. I just told my parents.”

They stepped back from their embrace, “How did it feel?” She asked him.

“It was nerve-wracking. But then it was liberating. Exhilarating. Good. It felt good.” Patrick jammed his hands in his pockets and nodded his head.

“That’s great, Kid. That’s great.” The side of Terri’s fist bumped Patrick’s arm. “How’d they take it?”

Patrick nodded, “Good. Really good!”

“That’s fantastic,” She told him.

“Come on. I want you to meet them.” Patrick jerked his head in the direction of where his parents had been sitting. When he turned toward the booth, his parents were no longer there.

“Looks like they’re a little busy right now. I’ll meet them later.” Terri said, eyeing Patrick’s parents near the food talking with David’s parents.

“Oh shit. I should have introduced them to David’s folks.” Patrick said, a little breathless.

Terri saw that he was clearly very excited. His breathing shallow. Eyes dilated. Adrenaline coursing through his body. Likely not thinking rationally about much of anything.

“Looks like David has it handled,” Terri said calmly. She patted his shoulder. “Just breathe and enjoy your night.”

Patrick took a deep breath. Made a sound of relief as he exhaled.

++++++

As David talked with Twyla, the Brewers came near him. David introduced them to the few people who were milling around the food. As he did so, he felt Marcy’s hand on his arm. She kept it there while she spoke to Twyla and the others.

Then she turned her attention to her son’s boyfriend. “David, you’ve done such a lovely job organizing the party,” she told him. Gave his arm a squeeze.

“I’m just so happy you’re here,” He told her, not for the first time.

She reached up to him with both arms. He leaned down and they hugged. He was getting used to the fact that Patrick’s mom was a hugger.

He liked her hugs.

++++++

From her perch on the last stool at the counter, Moira eyed the woman who hugged her son no less than four times since they’d been at the café. Though she’d been briefly introduced before Patrick arrived, she hadn’t spoken to the woman for any real amount of time.  
  
Moira lifted a bejeweled finger over her shoulder and tapped Johnny’s chest, as he stood just behind her.

“We should go make a plate,” She told him.

Johnny and Moira made their way to the food and, there, they joined David and the Brewers.

“I was just telling David that he’s put together a lovely party,” Marcy told Moira. “He has wonderful hosting skills. I’m sure he learned them from you.”

Moira’s smile grew large, “We do what we can when our bébés are young to educate them on the social graces.”

The Brewers and the Roses made plates and took beverages to a table and settled down to talk, eat, and watch the party unfold.

++++++

Later, as they sat alone at their table, Marcy leaned against her husband. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder. They watched Patrick as he sat at a table across the room; friends all around him. He held their attention, as they’d seen him do a million times in his life when he was with groups of friends.

He laughed as he told a story. It looked like he was talking about a baseball game. They watched as he held his hands to his mouth and called “Oh my god! Run, David! Run!” His friends at the table laughed and clapped.

“Clint,” She said quietly. “He seems so happy.”

“He does.” Clint agreed. “Like his old self.”

Marcy sighed. She was worried about her son. She quietly… very quietly… voiced her concern to her husband. “But he and David have hardly been together all night. I just don’t know that I see it. I don’t see them as a couple. Is that wrong? I don’t mean to be…”

“Watch them,” Clint said. “You’re looking for something big. Watch them Marcy.”

“What do you mean?” She asked him. “I’m watching.”

“No, watch the little movements. Look. Look at David. He’s got a bottle of wine. He’s filling glasses.” Clint said.

“I know. He’s not been near Patrick all night.” Marcy pointed out. “Why doesn’t he sit down with Patrick?”

“He’s hosting, Marse.” Clint said, “Watch what David does when he walks by Patrick.”

Marcy watched. As David walked by, Patrick was sitting and talking to his friends. David held a hand down low and trailed a finger along Patrick’s back. From one shoulder to the other as he passed him. As his finger went to leave Patrick’s shoulder, Patrick reached up a hand and grasped David’s finger. David continued to move and Patrick’s arm extended until David was walking out of reach and, then, Patrick released his hold on him. All while Patrick continued to talk to his friends.

Clint said, “Every time they pass each other, they touch. Just watch them.”

From that moment on, Marcy kept an eye on them. She watched Patrick walk up to the counter to get another beer. As he walked by David, who was talking to his parents, Patrick reached out a hand and swatted David’s rear end.

“Clint,” Marcy giggled.

“What can I say?” Clint grinned. “We Brewers like a good rear end.” Clint nudged her.

She chuckled and smacked his arm, “Clinton.”

When Patrick walked back by David, while David was talking to Stevie, David reached a hand back behind him. Patrick’s fingers danced across the palm of David’s hand as he walked by.

At times when both were engaged in general conversation with different groups of people across the café from one another, Marcy noticed David peer around someone and look for Patrick, who did the same.

At another time in the evening, while Patrick stood talking to the tall boy with the red hair, David came up behind him. He tucked one finger in the back beltloop of Patrick’s jeans. Stood behind Patrick while the three of them talked. Patrick leaned back against David.

“I see it,” She told Clint after witnessing several fleeting moments of contact between the two partners. “No matter what they’re doing, they always know where the other is in this room.”

“We do that at gatherings,” Clint said.

“We do,” she agreed.

But she still had a nagging feeling. She didn’t tell her husband. But she still worried that her son was just with his best friend. The way he was with Rachel. They had gotten along well. And he loved her.

Though they had sometimes been demonstrative, Marcy didn’t often see Patrick put his arm around Rachel. Kiss her cheek. Hold her hand. The kinds of things people in relationships naturally do.

Sure, he’d held the door open for her. But that was really just him being a gentleman. When they sat at the Brewer house watching a movie, or they took a walk out in the yard, Marcy didn’t recall them being arm-in-arm very often.

Marcy could tell, back then, that even though they were sweet with each other. Even though they liked each other, there wasn’t a big spark in that relationship.

She had wanted it for Patrick.

She wanted her son to be as happy in his relationship as she had always been in hers.

++++++

Clint left the restroom and eyed the two women sitting in the back, corner booth. He nodded at the one as he was walking by and then he stopped and turned back.

“Pardon me, it is not my intention to interrupt,” Clint said as he stepped up to their table.

The woman he’d been looking at stood, “You’re not interrupting at all, Mr. Brewer.”

He pursed his lips and squinted his eyes and pointed at her. “I seem to be at a disadvantage here. You look _very_ familiar to me, but I am at a loss for your name. I apologize. Have we met?”

She shook her head and held out her hand. “No, Sir, we have not met. My name is Terri. Terri Morgan. This is my wife, Amy.”

They shared a firm handshake. “Nice to meet you, Terri.” Then he turned and held out a hand to shake Amy’s. “Amy, nice to meet you.”

“We’re friends of David and Patrick,” Amy told him.

Clint wracked his brain as he looked at Terri. “Terri Morgan.” He said again. “Oh. Yes, yes. I know who you are. Ms. Morgan it is an honor to meet you.” Clint told her.

Terri pressed her lips together in acknowledging that he had realized that her name was one that he may have seen in the news.

“Yes, we are… well, _my wife_ is… the maker of the goat milk products at the store. You probably know us from that.” Terri smiled.

Clint smiled. Eyed Terri. Nodded. “Yes, yes. My wife is a big fan of the Body Milk. The boys keep us supplied in your product. Ms. Morgan…”

Terri cut him off. “Terri. Please. We don’t rest on formality around here.”

“Terri,” Clint said her name. “My wife is a retired teacher. She taught for a good number of years in the public-school setting. We are… very aware… of the good work you have done. The advocacy. Public speaking. Thank you for the work you do.”

“Thank you, Mr. Brewer.” Terri nodded.

“Clint,” he said. He held his hand to his chest.

“Clint. I’d just like to tell you that your son is a very special young man. I adore him.” Terri said.

Marcy had seen her husband talking to the two women so she walked across the room to join them. Clint introduced them as the makers of the Body Milk. He didn’t tell her who Terri was, he’d save that until later. He could tell that Terri would appreciate her work not being pointed out.

Marcy gushed, “Oh my goodness. I love it so much!”

Amy, still sitting, reached out to shake Marcy’s hand. “I’m glad you like it, Mrs. Brewer. What is your favorite scent?”

Marcy scooted into the booth and began to chat with Amy.

Clint asked Terri about the goats and the conversation rolled right along.

Patrick, across the room, spotted his parents talking to Terri and Amy. Terri caught his eye. Lifted her chin in a greeting and continued the conversation with his dad.

++++++

“Patrick,” Stevie got his attention.

Patrick turned away from the group of folks from The AIDS Center, when he heard her say his name.

Stevie was standing with one of the Kit Kat Dancers from the show and a guy he’d not seen before.

“This is, Derek. Jade’s boyfriend. The guy we talked about.” Stevie introduced them.

Patrick extended a hand to Derek. They shook. “Hey, Derek. Nice to meet you. Jade says you can help us.”

One night after rehearsal the week prior, after having dropped Stevie on the lift one too many times, Stevie and Patrick had sat together and commiserated on their need for help.

“I’m so sorry, Stevie, I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong,” Patrick had told her.

“No. I think it’s me. I don’t trust that you’re not going to drop me. I just panic.” She told him.

After rehearsal that night, Jade had told the two of them that she’d seen them struggling. She told them that her boyfriend was a dance instructor. She suggested that they bring him in to see what he could do to help them.

Stevie and Patrick had readily agreed. Stevie had stopped by the store later in the week and Patrick had given her a check to give to Jade to pre-pay for Derek’s services.

“I feel guilty. I should help pay for it,” Stevie told him.

“Nope.” Patrick was adamant. “This is my fault that I keep messing up. Plus, we don’t need Mrs. Rose being upset with more than one of us. This way, if we get caught it’s all on me.” Patrick told her.

It felt a little underhanded. Like a covert drug deal. But they knew that they needed the help and that Mrs. Rose would not be keen on someone other than herself directing them through their difficulty.

Jade, invited to the party, had brought her boyfriend. Wanted to introduce them so they could get started.

“Really looking forward to working with you. Appreciate your willingness to help.” Patrick told him as they shook hands.

“We’ll start on Monday,” Derek told him. “I’ll set it up with Stevie.”

++++++

David stood talking to a couple of members of the Cabaret crew who were telling him about the set design they’d been working on.

Patrick approached them. Two glasses in his hand. He handed one to David.

“Thank you,” David said quietly.

Patrick leaned up. Kissed him on the cheek.

Patrick slid one hand around David’s waist. David automatically raised his arm and wrapped it around Patrick’s shoulder. Patrick tucked into him.  
  
They talked casually to their friends.

“He’s so comfortable,” Clint said quietly. His eyes rarely leaving his son the whole night.

He and Marcy were back at the table. Alone again. Watching their son enjoy his party.

“I like it,” Marcy said. “I just…” She stopped talking. Took a sip of her beer.

“What?” He asked.

She leaned closer to her husband, whispered very quietly. “He didn’t touch her that often, did he? So… maybe that’s good. I just…”

“Still having trouble thinking of them as a couple?” He asked her.

Her voice was very quiet. “I’m wrapping my brain around him being gay. I’m understanding it. And I support it.”

“Of course.” He said.

“I like David. I do. This isn’t about David.” Marcy told him, not for the first time that day.

“I understand,” He said. And he did.

He also knew Marcy was going to worry constantly… right up until the moment when she stopped worrying. And then… she’d find something new to worry about.

“We talked about this some time ago, remember? I told you? I… I want him to be with someone who is his best friend, but I also want him to have passion. And, I don’t mean that to sound inappropriate.” Marcy told him.

“We’ve only seen them for a couple of hours. Let’s see what the weekend holds,” Clint told her.

Clint raised his arm and wrapped it around Marcy’s shoulder. Marcy tucked into him. They continued to watch their son.

++++++

Music played on the speakers in the café all evening.

From time-to-time people joined together in the middle of the room to dance. There were a couple of line dances, and of course a few times of couples dancing. Patrick danced with his mom once. He danced with Katie. David shared dances with Stevie, and then Marcy, and later with Cody.

Different songs brought different people out to dance. And there were times when nobody was dancing but people sat around talking, sharing stories, eating.

Marcy had watched them. Wondered why they didn’t dance together. It made her sad that they didn’t seem to want to dance together. One of Marcy’s favorite things was dancing with her husband in her kitchen on a random night of the week.

David had curated a playlist of songs that moved from upbeat at the start of the party to slower songs as the evening wore on. The idea was to bring the party down to a calmness that might encourage people to leave after a few hours of general merriment.

Patrick was sitting in a booth with Terri and Amy at the far back end of the room, talking quietly. David was standing at the very front of the room, near the drink station close to the front door, talking with his mother and Marcy.

[The first notes of the song started.](https://youtu.be/4zAThXFOy2c)

Like a Pavolvian response, Patrick looked up from his conversation and locked eyes on David across the room.

Upon hearing the first notes, David also looked up from his conversation to find him. When his eyes found Patrick, he raised an eyebrow.

Marcy, whose hand was on David’s arm when the song started, noticed him looking across the room at her son.

“Um… I’m gonna…” Patrick said to Terri and pointed over at David.

“Go.” Terri said with a smile. Not at all surprised that their conversation stopped mid-sentence so Patrick could go dance with David.

Patrick stood and walked toward him. His eyes were wide and his lips pressed together in that way he does when he’s very excited about something.

When David saw him stand, he leaned down to Patrick’s mom and said, “Pardon me, Mrs. Brewer. I’m going to go have a dance.” 

They walked toward one another and met in the middle of the café.

Wordlessly. Without hesitation, Patrick boldly took hold of David’s waist and pulled him close for their first dance of the night. David rolled his head back and smiled up at the ceiling while he raised his arms to wrap around Patrick’s shoulders. Happy to finally be in his boyfriend’s arms. Knowing full well when he created the playlist that if they hadn’t yet danced together, at that point they would.

“I knew this one would get your attention,” David told him.

Patrick tucked into that space that he liked to tuck. Pressing against David, he kissed David’s neck as they began to sway to the music. Their bodies pressed together; Patrick’s hands splayed flat against David’s back. David’s hand massaged little circles onto Patrick’s shoulder.

“Happy Birthday, Mr. Brewer,” David whispered into his ear.

Upon seeing the two begin to dance, their friends started pairing up and joining on the dance floor.

Terri stood and held out a hand to her wife. Amy wiggled her way out of the booth and joined her wife in a dance. Amy turned to the side so that her ample curves could rest against Terri’s tall, lean frame.

Before long, Clint stood from where he sat, talking to Johnny. A broad grin spread across Marcy’s face as she joined her husband. Her cheek rested against his chest. Just as it did when they danced in the kitchen at home.

Moira turned to John, who set his coffee cup down, stood, and held out a hand. The two joined the other couples in dancing. Moira’s cheek pressed against that of her debonair husband.

Alexis poked Stevie on the shoulder. “Dance with me, Stevie.”

“I’m not doing that,” Stevie quickly shook her head and took a long draw from her bottle of beer.

“I’ll dance with you, Alexis,” Twyla said brightly from behind the counter.

“Yes, Twy!” Alexis bounced a little and held both her hands in the air over her head.

The two friends wrapped their arms around one another as they joined in on the dancing.

Marcy turned her head so she could sneak glances at them. Her son and his boyfriend. Clearly comfortable in one another’s arms. Obviously happy. Secure enough to dance together and kiss one another in a room full of family and friends. She began to feel better about it. Began to allow herself to believe that he’d found happiness.

The music changed. And from one song to another, David and Patrick continued to dance. They talked quietly to one another. Occasionally laughing. Sometimes Patrick kissing him on his neck. Sometimes David kissing him on his temple. A couple of times, Patrick looked up to him and he lowered his mouth to Patrick’s for a sweet, gentle kiss on the lips.

They’d both taken care of everyone all night. Worked the room. Made sure the drinks flowed and the food was eaten. They ensured that they both had a conversation with each of the guests so that all of them felt welcomed.

Now was their time. Their time together.

Patrick felt like he was breathing for the first time in weeks. He was happy. Content. Relieved. And so remarkably in love with the man who made it all happen for him. With the rest of the room of people falling away, he tucked one of his hands up under David’s sweatshirt. Rubbed the warm skin of his lower back. He kissed David’s neck. His jaw. His cheek. His lips. He didn’t care who saw it. Didn’t care that his parents were watching.

David’s hands moved. One shifted to the back of Patrick’s head. Held him. Massaged him as Patrick peppered David with kisses. His mind went to the questions he had for Patrick. The concern he had about Patrick keeping things from him. But he forced himself into the present. There was plenty of time later for those conversations. His sweet Patrick was so happy in that moment. David was determined to remain with him in that space.

As the music changed from one song to another, some of their guests began to break away from the make-shift dance floor. They began to gather their things. They stopped by David and Patrick to say goodbye.

Begrudgingly, the two stopped dancing so they could say goodbye to their guests. As the crowd dwindled down to just their nearest and dearest, the group helped carry Patrick’s gifts out to his car that David had parked in the back.

They boxed up the uneaten food. Sent some home with the Roses. Sent some home with Stevie. Asked Twyla to take some. Put some in Patrick’s car.

The Roses and Stevie headed out. Patrick shook their hands. “Mr. Rose, Mrs. Rose. Thank you so much. It was a fun evening.”

Alexis hugged him. Booped his nose. “Happy Birthday, Button.”

Stevie nodded at both of them. David mouthed, “Thank you.” To her before she turned to leave.

As they waved at friends and family, Terri and Amy said their goodbyes. “We’re headed home in the morning. Thanks for having us,” Amy told them.  
  
David and Patrick each hugged their friends.

“Proud of you, Kid,” Terri said quietly as she smacked Patrick soundly on the back.

When David hugged her, the thanked her for her help. “Always here for you,” She told him.

They stood near the curb with Patrick’s parents and waved as Terri’s truck drove toward the motel.

They made plans with the Brewers for the following morning and watched as Patrick’s dad opened the truck door for Patrick’s mom to get in. Then he shut the door and rounded the back of the truck to get into his side.

He waved at his son. “See you tomorrow.”

Patrick’s mom leaned out the window, “Happy Birthday, Patrick. I love you.”

++++++

David and Patrick went back into the café where Twyla and a few of the café staff were cleaning up.

David tipped his glass back, swallowing down the rest of his drink. As he did so, the song began to play.

“That’s my birthday song,” Patrick said and reached for David.

“It is,” David rested his arms on Patrick’s shoulders.

They began to dance.

“So, I know that you’re annoyed that the surprise got blown? But… this party might go down as one of the happiest nights of my life.”

++++++

Twyla quietly set about cleaning up the dishes. She went ahead and sent the crew home. They’d worked long enough. It was a Friday night, after all.

She’d given David and Patrick a time warning… several times. They kept dancing.  
  
She didn’t mind. She knew it was a big night for them. For Patrick.

She had originally planned to wash the dishes the next day. But she’d give them more time. She carried the dishes to the kitchen. Took her time washing them. She cleaned the kitchen. Waited.

They were still dancing.

She reentered the room. Leaned against the counter. Watched them. David’s hands roamed over Patrick’s back. She couldn’t even see Patrick’s hands. Maybe they were up David’s sweatshirt? Patrick’s face was tucked into David’s neck. She knew they were in a very private space.

“David,” She whispered.

The two kept dancing.

“Patrick,” She said his name quietly.

The two kept dancing.

She moved to the speaker. Shut it off.

The two kept dancing.

“OK, fellas,” She said as she pushed on David’s back. “You don’t have to go home… but you can’t stay here.”

+++

End Part 4 of 6

+++


	31. Patrick’s Surprise (MTP): Part 5 of 6 - Fucking Fireworks, Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the party, everyone settles in to their night. Clint and Terri take a walk and have a talk. Marcy sees some things. David and Patrick say goodnight. The next day (Saturday) Patrick and his parents have an important and long-overdue discussion. The Brewers and David spend the day together. Johnny ends the day with an invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is part 5 of 6 chapters. It takes place after 5.11. 
> 
> This is a longer chapter than the others in this "mini-series" (Twice as long). I just didn't want to break this one up into two chapters. It's a lot. But I think it's worth digesting all at once. I hope you enjoy the Brewers and David getting to know each other. 
> 
> +++
> 
> HALLE-FUCKIN-LUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> WE HAVE A NEW PRESIDENT ELECT! WE HAVE A NEW VICE-PRESIDENT ELECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> *Praise hands emoji* *Praise hands emoji* *Praise hands emoji*  
> *American Flag Emoji*  
> *Read heart emoji* *White heart emoji* *Blue heart emoji*  
> *Loudly crying face emoji* 
> 
> Hearing them speak tonight was balm to the soul. There is light at the end of this ridiculously long tunnel.  
> I know you will have much to say in the comments and I can't wait to read your excitement! 
> 
> I just want to say to the sisters and brothers we have who live in swing states: THANK YOU. My god. Thank you. For standing in lines that never should have been so long. For mailing in your ballots/dropping them off on time. For donating to candidates. For canvassing neighborhoods. For making phone calls. For writing post cards. For working the polls. 
> 
> Thank you. 
> 
> You saved our nation. 
> 
> +++
> 
> One last thing. In this chapter, I mention a book. "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown.  
> If you don't know her work, I recommend (at a minimum) checking out her Ted Talk and maybe some YouTube videos. But if you seriously want to do some work on shame and vulnerability consider reading her books (or listening to her read them in audiobook format). She. Is. Amazing. (And Terri-Fuckin-Morgan Approved). *Winking face emoji*
> 
> +++

++++++

While Marcy showered, Clint felt the need to move. He called into the bathroom that he was going to take a walk. 

He stepped out of his room and stood still. Unsure of whether he wanted to walk around or sit in one of the lawn chairs. Thoughts swarmed in his head. He realized he could think in his room just as well as he could outside; so, he turned to go back in.

When he turned the doorknob, ready to reenter the space, he heard the door beside his room open.

Terri stepped out of her room and saw him. “Hi, Clint.”

Patrick’s dad turned to her. The smile on his mouth did not reach his eyes. “Hi, there... It’s late. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

Shaking her head, Terri huffed out a chuckle. “No. You didn’t wake me. I’m on a mission to find a bubbly beverage for my wife.” Terri pointed at the soda machine down near the office door.

Clint nodded. He watched Terri walk to the machine. Purchase something and walk back toward him.

“You doing all right, Clint?” Terri eyed him with concern.

Clint, leaning against the door to his room, nodded, “Yup. Yup.”

“I’m going to…” Terri motioned with her thumb to the door of her room. “But, I was thinking of taking a walk before turning in. Would you like to join me?”

Pushing away from his door, Clint stood a little straighter. “Yes, Terri. I’d like that very much.”  
  
She raised her eyebrows and smiled. “Be just moment.”

She tucked into the room, tossed her wife the soda, and whispered, “Gotta go talk with Patrick’s dad.”

They first walked to the end of the motel parking lot, but her intuition told her that their conversation was going to take them further. Terri, who knew she was leading the way, just kept walking.

They walked out of the lot and into the street and down the dark, quiet road. She had only a small idea of the layout of the town, but she knew as they walked and he began to talk, that he needed time. She took them on a path that would allow them time.

He began to speak just a few steps into their walk.

“I’m not sure I met any other of my son’s business associates at his party tonight,” Clint said.

It did not go unnoticed to Terri that Clint’s hands were dug deep into the pockets of his jeans.

“No. I’m not sure I did, either.” Terri noted. Then she added, “I wasn’t there as a business associate, Clint. My wife, Amy, and I consider David and Patrick to be good friends.”

“Yes. Yes, I’m aware that Patrick likes to visit your farm. Ride horses. Do some chores.” Clint nodded. His eyes on the road in front of him.

Terri smiled. “He’s a hell of a stall mucker.”

“Learned that from me,” Clint turned to her and smiled before turning his attention back to the road. “Learned that as a boy.”

“You and your wife have a remarkable son,” Terri told him honestly. She loved Patrick. He was very special to Terri.

“Terri, how long have you known Patrick?” Clint asked her.

“Seems like David brought him out to visit us just a few days after Patrick moved to town,” Terri turned them down a side street. Dark. Very few street lights. Quiet.

“And you’re good friends now.” Clint clarified.

“I’d say we are,” Terri confirmed.

“So…” Clint searched for the right words to use. Careful in his selection. “If I were to talk to you about anything, you’d probably feel like you would need to share it with him.”

Terri knew what Clint was hinting at, and knew what he needed. Therapist mode. “Clint, if there’s something you’d like to talk about and you want me to keep it to myself, I can do that.”

Clint turned to look at her as they walked. Pointed at her. “You’re a therapist. Yes. I understand that. But you’re not _my_ therapist and I know confidentiality is not a guarantee in a casual conversation.”

“We don’t have to be in therapy for me to keep a conversation private.” Terri told him. “Is there something bothering you that you’d like to discuss?”

“There are some things, yes. I… I don’t want to say the wrong thing to my son when we talk. I don’t want to offend him… or David. But I have questions and I… I may never have the opportunity to… If you’re willing to let me talk with you about it, I think it could help.” Clint typically didn’t struggle with words, nor did he have trouble discussing feelings. But it was late and it had been a long and emotional day. At that point, it was all coming out very choppy.

Terri thought for a moment before saying, “Well, Clint, how about this. You say anything you want… ask anything you want. And I promise you that I won’t judge it... I know you don’t know me, but I give you my word that I won’t tell another soul what we talked about tonight.”

He nodded. They walked in silence. Terri turned them around another corner. In a neighborhood. A couple of porchlights shined on their houses. They heard a dog bark a block or so away.

“I know my son,” Clint started. Then he paused and tilted his head, “I _thought_ I knew my son. We… um… spent a good deal of time together when he was growing up… and then after he moved closer to home after college. More than most. We… I have friends with sons Patrick’s age and… I always felt very proud of the relationship I had with him.”

“He’s shared some stories with me about the kind of Dad you are. The kind of Dad you were to him as a kid.” Terri nodded.

“He’s talked to you about me?” Clint looked at her again. He seemed surprised.

“When we muck stalls, we talk,” Terri smiled. Her friend’s agony over not coming out to his parents very present in her mind at that moment.

“So… you know Patrick as he is now. Forgive me… Forgive me if I use the wrong words here.” Clint stopped walking. Used his hand to express himself.

Terri didn’t know the man, but saw what she could only assume was pain on his face. She stopped walking when he did. “How about we say this… you use whatever words you can find right now. It’s hard to find the right words when there are a lot of things swirling around in our brains.”

“OK,” Clint nodded. “But can you please tell me if the words I’m using are wrong. Tell me the right words to use in their place. When I talk to my son tomorrow, I don’t want to use the wrong words.”

“That sounds like good plan,” Terri saw in him the qualities she adored about Patrick. Her heart warmed at the thought of what Clint was doing; processing so that he was on his game with his son when they talked next.

Clint turned back to their walk. Continued down the street. Terri walked with him.

“So… you’ve always known my son as a gay man. Or… maybe he’s bi..sssexualll?”

Terri kept her smile to herself. “I can’t tell you how he labels himself, that is… _if_ he labels himself. I think that’s a question that only he can answer. You could ask him if it matters to you. If it doesn’t matter to you, then don’t ask it.”

“Is it wrong if the label _does matter_ to me?” Clint asked.

Terri thought for a moment. She shook her head as they walked slowly. “No. It’s not wrong. So long as… well, Clint… Patrick’s decision of his label – if he chooses to accept a label – is the final say. Because it’s about him. No matter what you want, or what your wife wants… his is the final say.”

Clint nodded and quietly said, “OK.”

Terri continued, “But… yeah. I’ve known that about him. Maybe before he did. The first time David brought him out, they had just met. I thought at the time that he was attracted to David. What I saw in him was a man who seemed very attracted to David but maybe he didn’t realize it.”

Clint was quiet for a moment before asking, “Terri, how does that happen?”

Tilting her head. Furrowing her brows. “Tell me what you mean.”

“I know people are who they are. I know a person can be gay… or bisexual. I don’t think a thing of it, really. But, I figure that our… preferences? …Is that the right word?”

“That’s a good word.” Terri told him.

“I figure our preferences are set at a young age. I just assumed that if someone is gay, they know it when they’re young.” Clint stopped talking, then added, “Or… at least when they start figuring out the crushes and relationships they develop as teenagers.” Clint wasn’t sure, exactly, what he was trying to say.

“Clint, you know, there are all kinds of people with all sorts of lived experiences. I don’t think we can say all LGBTQ people have the same type of journey.” Terri told him.

“May I ask you about yours?” Clint boldly asked.

“Sure. Sure.” Terri nodded, then said, “I was a child who knew she liked girls from the moment I can remember. Declared to my parents that I didn’t need a boy in my life. Brought home a girl in high school and introduced her as my girlfriend. That was my lived experience. I was fortunate to have parents who saw who I was at a young age and encouraged me to be who I was...”

“I hope I didn’t ever discourage him from being who he was.” Clint interjected.

“Clint. I didn’t mean to say you didn’t provide a safe space for Patrick.” Terri told him. She mentally kicked herself for not choosing her words better.

“I think I… we… we taught him to be accepting of all people. We encouraged his individuality, I think.” Clint said.

“My comment about my parents was in relation to experiences I hear from kids in my work. No, no. Patrick has told me that you and Mrs. Brewer were… _are_ … the most loving and accepting parents.” Terri told him.

“He did?” Clint stopped walking for a moment. It was a relief to hear those words from Patrick’s friend.

Terri stopped also. “He did.”

Clint nodded. Began to walk again, “That’s good to know.”

Terri turned another corner. A street light down the block cast a dull illumination on their path.

“You know my wife, Amy. She had only dated men before we met. I’m the only…” Terri paused, corrected herself, “I was the first woman she’d ever been attracted to. I think some people just don’t know about their preferences until they know. And for some people… they learn about them when they’re older, Clint.”

“So…” Clint began to speak and then stopped. Then he started again, “So you don’t think he… I don’t know… held it in when he was a kid because he was afraid to be… gay… in front of us?”

“No.” Terri thought a moment before adding, “Honestly I think the whole thing was quite a shock to him when it happened. When he realized it. You know?”

“No. I don’t know. I don’t know anything, Terri.” Clint told her honestly.

“I think that might be something to talk to him about, Clint.” Terri told him.

Clint nodded.

They walked in silence.

“He came home… last year. Not long after he’d moved here… Just a couple of weeks after, I think. He came up. He wasn’t himself. Worked for several days. Asked to work alone on some chores. Worked all day by himself. Spent a lot of time alone in his room. We knew he was upset, but couldn’t get him to talk to us.” Clint told her.

Terri remembered back to that time. “Yeah. I knew he went home around that time. I didn’t know him well, then. But, that was likely what he was struggling with.”

“My wife and I… we talked earlier today… she reminded me of a conversation she had with Patrick when he was home. He had been out to a bar. Went out and saw his fiancé. Sorry, his _former_ fiancé. Marcy said he had been emotional… exhausted. He told her that he loved Rachel but couldn’t be with her the way a husband should… be with a wife.”

“That tracks.” Terri nodded.

“Then he told her that he had met someone. I think he used the words found. He found someone. And that he’d never felt that way before.” Clint told her.

Terri was quiet. Turned another corner. She realized where they were. She pointed ahead of them. Pointed at the Apothecary several yards in front of them. The light on the corner shining brightly.

Clint stopped. “He was trying to tell her. He was telling Marcy.” Clint became overwhelmed. A feeling washed over him. Relief? He wasn’t sure. He coughed. Tried to clear his throat of the emotion that was overtaking him. He was unsuccessful and the tears burned at his eyes.

Terri, hands in her pockets, waited quietly. Looked at the store and gave the man a moment to collect himself.

A car drove by. The driver held up a hand and waved. Terri casually held up a hand in a two fingered wave. Then, hands back into her pockets. 

Clint swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Sorry about that.”

“You’re processing a lot right now.” Terri told him. Then, even though she wasn’t his therapist, couldn’t help but ask him a reflective question. “What are you feeling about that conversation that Patrick had with your wife?”

“I’m wishing I was there. I think I might have spotted the… hidden messages. I might have been able to ask him more direct questions.” Clint said.

“Would that have made it better? If you were there to ask him more direct questions?” Terri asked him.

Clint thought for a moment. His eyes never leaving the front of the Apothecary.

He shook his head, ‘No. No. It would have put pressure on him.”

“What might have happened if you put pressure on him at that moment?” Terri asked him.

Clint looked at Terri. His face told her that her point was made.

“Seems to me,” Terri told him, “That Patrick went home to a place he knew he could think. A place you and your wife have always made safe for him. And you… and your wife… did exactly what you’ve always done to help him. You gave him the space and the time to come to his own conclusions. The space and the time to figure out how to tell you.”

Clint crossed his arms over his chest. Pressed his fingers to his lips the way he did when he thought long and hard over something.

Terri felt the need to tell him something. “Patrick needs to be the one to tell you his story, Clint. That is, if Patrick wants to tell you. But here’s something I think I’m free to say. He and I have talked about why he hadn’t talked to you sooner. I know he wanted to. But he wanted to be with you in person.”

“Why in person? We could have talked on the phone or on FaceTime?” Clint asked her.

“Only he can answer that. I think when something as big as coming out is on someone’s mind… their imagination runs all kinds of scenarios for the responses they’ll get. And sometimes our minds really stop us from taking that step. We end up rationalizing why we don’t come out. And for him… he felt like he needed to be in the room with you both. Together.”

“Together.” Clint echoed her.

“Yeah.” Terri nodded.

Clint ran a hand through his hair. “That’s why he was so emotional when Marcy couldn’t make it down here when I brought the furniture for his apartment.”

Terri, silent, nodded her head.

Clint chuckled. “I just thought he missed his mom.”

“Well, he did,” Terri said. Then added, “But he also… yeah.”

“So… he tried. He wasn’t keeping it from us forever. He wasn’t trying to stay away from us.” Clint asked.

“No, Clint.” Terri reached out and patted his arm. “I don’t think so. I do think that you should talk with him about those feelings you’re having. Your wife… who likely has a lot of things to ask… I think she needs to ask them. Get it out in the open.” 

“Just,” Clint made a motion with his hand in front of himself, “Lay it all out on the table.”

“Yeah. Shining a light on the questions make them not so scary. And Patrick starting to talk about it will be good for him… as he works through all of his… feelings on the matter,” Terri told him as she recalled all the excellent research and writing Brené Brown as done on shame and how it derives it’s power from remaining unspeakable. And that if you speak about something you find shameful, you take away the power of shame.

“It’s a good-looking store,” Clint said. Nodding toward his son’s business.

“He’s a hell of a businessman,” Terri said.

Clint smiled and nodded.

“How about we turn back,” Terri jerked her head in the direction from which they had come.

“Yeah. It’s getting late,” Clint said as they turned and wordlessly headed back to the motel.

++++++

After Marcy took a long, hot shower, she stood in the bathroom and moisturized. Took her time.

She thought about her son. Thought about watching him dance with David.

She knew Clint had said he was going for a walk, but she was surprised he wasn’t back by the time she reentered the bedroom.

Looking out the window to see if she could see a glimpse of him, she spotted a car pulling into the lot. Saw that it was Patrick and David. They parked a couple of cars down from where Clint had parked the truck in front of their room. 

She moved closer to the window, tilted her head against it so she could see them. The truck and cars between them blocked some of her view.

Patrick got out of his car and walked around it. Opened the passenger side door and David got out. Seeing her son’s simple, kind gesture warmed her heart. He’d learned that from his father. She always liked that he opened the car door for Rachel. And she liked that even though his partner was a man, Patrick continued to do it. She was proud that they’d raised a gentleman who showed acts of love and respect to his boyfriend.

Her breath caught in her chest as she watched them. Watched Patrick shut David’s door. Watch David lean against the car. Watched Patrick press himself against David. She could only see about midway up Patrick’s back. The back of his head. She saw part of David’s face.

David closed his eyes, rolled his head back, and smiled. Patrick tucked into David’s embrace. She noted that her son was several inches shorter than David. She wondered if that bothered him. She chastised herself for her thoughts.

She wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw Patrick kiss David on the neck. Something she had seem him do when they were dancing.

What she did see after that she was certain. She saw it. A kiss. Not just any kiss. Not like the chaste kisses she’d seem them exchange several times throughout their evening.

What she saw was them in an embrace. A passionate embrace. 

She saw her son’s hands on David’s face, pulling him near. She saw David’s hand on the back of her son’s head.

She didn’t see the kiss itself. Not from the angle provided from where she stood. But she saw their hands. Their heads. She saw David’s hands move to Patrick’s shoulders and then they moved lower, down Patrick’s back. Disappear as her view was blocked by the truck. But she knew where his hands went.

Though they’d displayed their affection for one another at the party, they’d not really displayed anything that looked like this.

She knew she should probably look away; give them their privacy. She didn’t.

At the party, she’d noticed David’s hand on Patrick’s back with a comforting rub. She’d seen Patrick lean into David, put his arm around David’s waist while they talked to friends.

They’d danced. She’d watched them. Patrick and David slow dancing, David’s arms around Patrick’s shoulders. Patrick’s arms around David’s waist. She had seen them share some kisses. But they were…brief. Honestly, the kinds of things that on rare occasions she had seen him do with Rachel. The kind of touching and intimacy between two people who liked each other a lot, but didn’t have much… fire.

It had made her wonder, at the party. Wonder if Patrick was really in a relationship. The kind of relationship she’d always wanted for him, anyway. Trusting. Strengthening. And, above all, passionate.

But this kiss she witnessed while they stood in the parking lot? This private moment between the two? Patrick was clearly a willing participant and the way his hand moved from David’s cheek to the back of David’s head. The way he was leaning into David. The way David’s hands trailed down her son’s back.

Yes.

Her son had found passion.

And a bit of the weight that Marcy had been carrying on her heart for the last year lifted.

++++++

When Patrick pulled into the motel parking lot, he asked David, “Which room is my parents’?”

David pointed at the room two doors down from his.

Patrick shut off the ignition. David sat as Patrick rounded the car, opened the door for him.

David leaned back against the car door and Patrick moved into his arms. Pressed against him. Tucked his forehead into the curve of David’s neck. Patrick’s left arm encircled David’s waist while his right hand rested on David’s chest.

Patrick made a sound of contentment. “Mmmm.”

David smiled. One arm around Patrick’s shoulders. His hand moved up to envelop Patrick’s hand as it lay on his chest.

David kissed the top of Patrick’s head. The hand on Patrick’s back moving in a comforting circle.

“I don’t want to go home without you,” Patrick told him.

“You know I can’t spend the night there with your parents staying here. It’s not right.” David told him.

“David, it doesn’t matter…”

“Please don’t argue about this. I just… I need us to get off on the right foot. I don’t want to offend them. It’s already been such a… day.” David told him.

“OK.” Patrick said quietly. He moved then. His hand moved from David’s chest to his cheek. Patrick’s thumb brushed the stubble on his chin. He loved touching David’s stubble.  
  
He looked up at David. Those big brown eyes begging David for something. For more of something.

Both of his hands on David’s face, he pulled him close. “I’m hungry, David. So… hungry.”

David’s smile shifted to the left. His eyes moved from Patrick’s eyes to his lips.

With his hand on the back of Patrick’s neck, David pulled him close.

Patrick’s mouth opened for him. Begged to be entered. His hands moved. Slid down David’s chest. Tucked under David’s sweatshirt. His hands moving eagerly over David’s warm flesh. One hand running up David’s back, the other tucking into the back of David’s pants. His hand working down so it could grab hold of one of David’s ass cheeks.

David plunged his tongue into Patrick’s waiting mouth. Patrick sucked on him and David expelled a moan that, somewhere in his mind, registered as too loud for the parking lot. His hand gripped the back of Patrick’s neck and then, fingers spread wide moved up to cup the back of Patrick’s head. The pads of his fingers massaging Patrick’s scalp.

His other hand moved to Patrick’s shoulder. Soon both of David’s hands trailed down Patrick’s back and cupped his solid, round ass that was encased in tight, dark denim. He pulled Patrick closer to him. Rocked his hips against Patrick knowing that both of their cocks were beginning to show their arousal. Both wanting the pressure provided by the movement.

Patrick kissed along David’s jaw. Down his neck. Up to his ear. “Let me stay here tonight.” He whispered.

“Alexis is here. Remember? Ted’s out of town at some vet thing.” David told him.

“Come home with me. Please.” Patrick begged him, again.

“No, Baby. I’m sorry. No.” David moved his hand to Patrick’s chest. Knowing he should push Patrick back. Knowing it would need to be David who stopped things. Knowing that Patrick’s parents may not take to them spending the night together. Not until they had solid footing into the situation. Not until they were comfortable with David.

“David.” One of Patrick’s hands moved to cup David. Grip his cock through his jeans.

“Hey, Fellas!” Terri’s voice was probably louder than it needed to be, probably louder than it should be given they were in a motel parking lot so late at night. But she saw the two of them there by the cars as she and Clint rounded the corner and entered the parking lot. She saw them alone and in one another’s arms. She wanted to give them fair warning that Patrick’s dad was there.

“Clint and I are out for a walk. It’s a nice night, isn’t it?” She said loudly.

At the sound of her voice, they froze. At hearing Patrick’s dad’s name, David jerked his hands away from Patrick. Tugged at his sweatshirt. Hoped any sign of his erection could be masked by the sweatshirt or the darkness of the night.

Patrick moved to walk to them, David hooked his finger through the belt loop on the back of Patrick’s jeans. Held him near. “I need a second.” David whispered.

Patrick held his hand up. “Hey, you two! It’s kinda late for a stroll, isn’t it?”

Terri put a hand on Clint’s shoulder, “It would seem our wives were both taking some time getting ready for bed so the two of us took advantage of the cool night air.” 

“Where’ve you been?” Patrick asked. Felt David’s hands on his shoulders. Asking him to stay put for a moment longer. He leaned back into David.

David’s hand dropped from his shoulder to rest on Patrick’s waist.

“Just around town.” Clint looked from his son to David. Looked them both in the eyes. Well, tried to look them both in the eyes. David’s eyes shifted and he looked at the motel, the car beside them, Patrick’s shoulder.

“Getting to know each other,” Terri smiled and patted Clint on the back again.

“This one,” Clint said, pointing at Terri, “Is a smart woman. You have a good friend in her, Patrick.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know that, Dad,” Patrick locked eyes with his dear friend. Terri winked at him.

“Listen, folks. We have an early start out of here in the morning. We want to get home and get chores done before we have lunch with Nan and Pop.” Terri told them.

“Clint, it was an honor to meet you. Thanks for the walk tonight. It was just what I needed.” She shook Clint’s hand.

“Terri, the honor was mine. And, thank you. Thank you.” Clint told her.

Terri moved to say goodnight to David and Patrick. She hugged them both. When Patrick was in her arms she whispered, “It’s all good, Kid. He’s good.”

Patrick felt a wave of emotion upon hearing the confirmation from his trusted friend.

As she stepped back, Patrick told her, “Thank you so much for making the trip down for the party.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Happy to be here.” She said, “Hell of a party, David.”

“Give our best to Nan and Pop,” David told her as she headed toward her room.

Clint walked closer to his son. “Get everything closed down? Packed up?”

Patrick shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, “Yup. Yup.”

“Did you have a nice walk?” David asked him. David’s hand still held on to Patrick’s belt loop. Holding Patrick as a shield between them. He wasn’t sure why.

“We did. You have a nice town here.” Clint said, nodding.

David’s hand squeezed Patrick’s shoulder, “I think maybe… I’ll turn in.”

Patrick immediately turned, “No. Wait. Please, David.”

Clint spotting that his son wanted some alone time with his boyfriend, said, “You two carry on. I’m sure Marcy is wondering where I got off to. I’m going to head to bed. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you at my place,” Patrick told him. “I’ll have breakfast ready for you at 7, Dad. Then we can ride together to the game. Don’t have to be there until 9. We’ll have some time to talk before we have to leave.”

“I look forward to it, Son.”

Patrick took a step forward. David released his grip on Patrick’s beltloop. Patrick moved into his Dad’s arms for a hug. Patrick held him longer than he typically would. Clint held him tightly.

“Night, Dad. I’m really glad you’re here.” Patrick told him while still hugging him.

“I love you, Paddy.” His dad’s voice was quiet, but thick with emotion. 

“Love you, too, Dad.” Patrick patted his dad’s back.

While Clint walked toward his room, Patrick leaned back against David. David’s hands snaked around Patrick’s waist. Clasped in front of Patrick. Pulled him tight against him.

“You think he and Terri talked about it?” Patrick asked him. Leaned his head back to rest against David’s shoulder.

“I’d say that Terri saw a chance to support you and took it.” David told him.

“You think he told her stuff?” Patrick asked.

“When has Terri asked anyone anything and they not tell her stuff?” David said with little laugh in his voice.

Patrick turned in David’s arms. His hands reaching up to rest on David’s shoulders. “Where were we?”

“We were saying goodnight, because you have to get up early to make breakfast for your parents.” David told him.

“You sure you don’t want to join us?” Patrick asked him.

“No. I’ve got the store in the morning. Then, since Stevie is the designated snack person for the kids, I’m going to ride with her. I might catch the end of the game. Then we can take your parents to lunch in Elmdale.” David had the whole day planned. A day he had originally planned out, hour by hour, so that he could properly meet Patrick’s parents.

“You sure? I don’t want to force you to do that.” Patrick said.

“Why? What’s wrong. What’s this face you’re making?” David asked.

“I’m not sure you want to be around them? I don’t know. You seem to be different when they’re around. I don’t want to force you.” Patrick’s voice was a near whisper.

“How am I different? I’m fucking delightful.” David said defensively.

“Of course, you’re delightful. I’m saying you’ve been pretty quiet around them.” Patrick said. “You seem… a little shy.”

“I’m just… They don’t know me yet. I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot. We almost did there for a bit. I almost ruined it.” David said, honestly.

“You didn’t almost ruin it. You gave me… David… this was the best birthday gift I could ever ask for. Without even knowing it, you did exactly what I needed. What I wanted.” Patrick told him.

“M’Kay,” David said.

“OK.” Patrick said.

“Happy Birthday, Mr. Brewer.” Meant for only Patrick to hear, David’s voice was quiet before he pulled Patrick in for one last, passionate kiss goodnight.

A kiss that Marcy watched from the motel room window while Clint scolded her from across the room. “Give the boys some privacy, Marse. They need some privacy.”

++++++

Patrick was up early and opened the door with a smile when his parents arrived at his apartment early on Saturday. He greeted them both with a hug.

It being the first time his mother had seen his place, they took the time to let her take it all in. Such that it was; a one room studio.

Patrick had told them the night before that he didn’t have a lot in the refrigerator but he could make them an egg and toast breakfast and they readily accepted his offer. It didn’t matter to them what they ate. They had both wanted to spend some alone time with their boy. Talk with him. Hear him out in a private space.

Originally, Patrick was going to be out of town and Mr. Rose was going to coach the game without him. But since Patrick was in town, he had told David’s dad at the party that he’d be at the ball game too. His parents were excited to see a Little League game. Something they hadn’t done since Patrick was a young boy.

While Patrick boiled water, made toast, and scrambled eggs, Clint sat at the table watching Marcy as she walked through the apartment and looked at everything from the pictures hanging on the wall to the framed photos, candles, and other items set about the apartment.

She’d seen it before, of course. Patrick had taken her on a video tour just after he’d moved in. She recalled the general look of it all; but there were some very personal items that she did not recall seeing on that video tour.

She stood in front of the fireplace and looked at the framed photo of David. Though Marcy had never been to the store, she knew that it was taken there. David… by what looked to be the register. Smiling broadly.

She took a deep breath and began.

“This is a nice picture of David,” She told Patrick.

“Yeah,” Patrick kept an eye on her while cooking.

“He’s a handsome young man,” She told Patrick.

“Yeah, I think so.” Patrick smiled; agreed with her. Stirred the eggs.

“Honey?” His mom asked. Still standing by the fireplace. Back to Patrick while she looked at the picture of the boy her son was dating.

“Yeah?” Patrick responded.

She turned to face him. “Have there been other young men you thought were handsome?”

Marcy Brewer. Cutting to the chase.

Patrick paused. Looked up at his mother. Taken aback by her question.

For a moment they just looked at one another.

Clint looked from Marcy to Patrick. Not surprised by it; though he did think the questions would come _after_ they were all seated for breakfast.

“Uh,” Patrick huffed out a laugh. “If you’re asking if I’ve dated a man before, I haven’t.”

Patrick reached for plates. Handed three to his Dad who readily took them to busy himself.

Marcy had decided when they were on their way to Patrick’s that she would take advantage of their time alone. She assumed that David would be with them through much of the weekend. And she was fine with that. She really was. But she didn’t want to make David uncomfortable by asking certain questions in front of him.

She continued with her questions. “What about crushes. Did you have crushes on any boys… growing up or… in college? Or… After?”  
  
Clint opened drawers until he found utensils to put with the plates on the table.

“No. No, no, Mom. I didn’t. David was the first guy I’ve …” Patrick faltered in what he was saying. “Mom, can we sit? Can I get breakfast on the table and we can talk?”

“Sure. Sure, Honey.” Marcy moved to look at the rest of the apartment.

She stood over Patrick’s desk.

Patrick handed his dad three mugs. Then plated the toast and the eggs.

“This is a nice picture,” Marcy held up the photo of David and Patrick that Alexis had taken of them at the Christmas Eve party.

“Yup.” Patrick was realizing he had some talking to do with his mom. He wondered if he should have just planned to stay home with them instead of going to coach at the game.

He poured the boiling water into the French press, allowing the coffee grounds to begin to steep.

“Eggs are done.” He said, getting her attention.

As she settled into her chair, she noticed the French press coffee maker he sat on the table. He filled his own mug with water from the kettle and dropped a teabag into it. He sat at the table.

“I hope you didn’t get that because we’re here. I know you don’t like coffee. We would have been fine without.” Marcy told him.

“I got it for David. He likes coffee.” Patrick said. “Not really room for a coffee maker.”

“Oh.” She said quietly, “That’s nice that you have it here for when he visits.”

Clint held in a smile as he put eggs on his plate. Helped himself to a piece of toast. Watched his wife. Concerned that maybe she was working herself up. Knowing that she and Patrick needed to talk it out. Knowing he wanted to do the same. He didn’t want Patrick to feel pressure, so Clint just stayed quiet. He’d have his time with his son.

Eventually.

Clint was a patient man.

Patrick slowly pushed the plunger down through the fluid so that the steeped coffee rose to the top. He poured a cup for each of his parents.

“OK, Mom. Let’s talk,” Patrick sat back in his chair. No longer interested in his breakfast. “You seem upset. Are you angry at me?”

“Oh, no. No, Honey. Not at all. I’m…” Marcy thought for a moment before she continued. “I feel like a stranger in your world right now. That’s a very… foreign feeling for me.” She looked at Clint and motioned with her hand toward him before she added, “For us both.”

“Is my being gay a problem?” Patrick asked directly.

Clint shook his head. Mouthed the word, “No.”

At the same time, Marcy reached out and took Patrick’s hand and said, “Absolutely not.”

Clint took a mental note that Patrick used the word Gay. _Not bisexual._

“You asked me if I ever found another guy attractive. When I was younger.” Patrick said. He thought it best he just start there. “I did. I didn’t realize it at the time. I realized it much later. But I think the posters on my wall weren’t just because I liked baseball. I realized it when I was home. When I came home last year just after I moved here? When I was home and sitting in my room, I realized that the other guys… my friends… they had girls on their walls. Actresses and musicians. I had…”

“Derek Jeeter,” Clint spoke for the first time since entering the apartment. He nodded his head. “I always wondered why you wanted a poster of someone who played for the Yankees.”

“Yeah, Dad,” Patrick chuckled as he glanced at his dad; thankful his dad seemed to be supporting him in the conversation. “Yeah, me too. I… I think I didn’t know then. But I realized it when I was home.”

“That’s the poster you took,” Clint clarified. Letting his son know that he saw him. He knew him.

“Yup.” Patrick nodded.

“Why did you take it?” Clint asked.

“I don’t know,” Patrick shook his head. “I think I just wanted to bring it home with me.”

“The picture? On your desk?” Marcy wanted more information.

“Alexis gave that to me for Christmas. She took it on Christmas eve. The Roses had a little party at the motel.” Patrick told her.

“Christmas Eve,” Marcy nodded.

Patrick ate a bite of egg. Eyed his mom. Waited for her to form her question.

Her blue eyes locked on his then she asked, “Were you really sick, Patrick?”

“Mom?” Patrick put his fork down. His heart dropped into his belly. “Mom, I don’t lie to you. I’ve _never_ lied to you.”

Marcy blinked back tears. “Haven’t you, Patrick? It’s OK. I understand that you couldn’t tell me yet. You were figuring things out.”

Patrick pushed his plate away. Moved his chair so that he was near his mother. Facing her. He took her hand in his. “Mom I’ve _never_ lied to you. Not since I was a kid and we made the promise. No lies.”

“I understand. You did that thing your Dad sometimes does.” She shot a look at her husband.

Clint made a noise of protest but, otherwise, stayed quiet. Because, ultimately, his wife was right on this one.

“I understand you felt trapped. You wanted to wait to talk to us until you saw us in person. I understand that. I need to hear that it wasn’t a lie that you were sick over Christmas and that’s why you couldn’t come home. I need to hear that you didn’t cancel your trip home because you were scared to see us.” Marcy told him bluntly.

“I was so disappointed, Mom. I got the flu and it was bad. David and Ray, they took care of me. And then as soon as I was better, David got sick. I needed to stay. Take care of the store.” Patrick said.

“You could have closed the store for a day.” She told him directly.

“I couldn’t leave David. He was sick. His family wasn’t going to take care of him. He needed me.” Patrick said.

“There’s the truth. There’s what I needed to hear.” Marcy smiled at him. Her palm against Patrick’s cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Patrick told her. His eyes shifted from her gaze to the plate that sat in front of her.

Marcy gave him a moment. But there was another Band-Aid that needed ripped off.

“The two of you came to our house. We were gone.” Marcy said. There were things she needed to know.

“I was coming to tell you. I wanted you to know. Not telling you was killing me.” Patrick told her.

“In the note David wrote. It said you washed all the linens that you used.” Marcy said.

Clint’s eyes grew large. His hand covered his mouth. Marcy went there. She was going there.

Clint eyed his wife. Stayed quiet.

“Yeah. He wrote the note.” Patrick told her.

“What linens did you wash, Patrick?” She asked him bluntly.

“Towels. Sheets.” Patrick shrugged. His eyes dropped to his lap.

He felt like a little boy who was caught. Trying to not lie. Trying desperately to keep the truth from his mother.

“The sheets in your room. Not the guest room. Because nobody slept in the guest room.” Marcy said.

Patrick took a moment. Breathed in a deep breath. Exhaled. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

“I’m not upset that the two of you spent the night in your room.” Marcy said.

“Then what…?”

“Did you tell him to word it that way? Was David in on it? Was he helping to cover it up?” She asked.

“No. That’s just how he talks. That’s just what he wrote. I had nothing to do with that note.” Patrick told her.

Marcy eyed her son. She had hoped desperately that David wasn’t in on the secret.

“Mom… Dad. David just found out yesterday that you didn’t know we were a couple. He… all the times you all talked… he assumed you knew he was my boyfriend.” Patrick’s voice trembled.

“That’s the honest truth?” Marcy asked him.

“Yes,” Patrick said.

“Promise me.” Marcy said; her voice soft and pleading.

“Yes. Mom. Yes.” Patrick said. He reached out to hold her hand. “I promise.”

“Is he upset at you for that?” Clint interjected himself into the conversation.

At that point he was more concerned about Patrick’s relationship with David than his own relationship with his son. He knew the foundation that he and Marcy had with Patrick could withstand anything. But he didn’t know what Patrick and David had. He knew virtually nothing of their relationship.

“I don’t know.” Patrick looked at his dad and shrugged. “I’m not sure he would have told me if he is. Not yesterday. I’m guessing that with it being my birthday, and with me… needing to come out… that if David was upset at all he wouldn’t have told me then.”

“You boys are going to need to clear the air,” Marcy told her son in a matter-of-fact voice.

“Yeah. I know.” Patrick nodded.

They sat quietly for a moment. Patrick’s thumb and forefinger of his left hand pressing and working on the thumb of his right. Marcy watching him.

“Hey, you two,” Clint got their attention. “Eggs are getting cold.” He raised his coffee cup and took a sip.

Patrick nearly choked on his bite of toast when his mother asked, “Will you be telling Rachel?”

He coughed. Took a sip of his tea. Set his cup down.

“She knows,” He told her.

Clint eyed his wife over his coffee cup.

“Oh?” Marcy called on every fiber of her being to remain calm.

Then Patrick told them. Told them how on the day that he would call their fourth month anniversary of being together, David’s family had a barbecue and Rachel had showed up. Confronted him. He explained how David had been upset because Patrick had failed to tell him that he had previously been engaged.

Told them that he and David nearly broke up over it, how it had been the longest and most difficult week of Patrick’s life. How he had worried David wouldn’t forgive him for not telling him. How excruciating it was working through it all.

Clint latched on to that information. It comforted him to know that when his son and David hit a rough patch that it was just that… rough. That meant something to Clint, given Patrick’s past.

Patrick explained to them how he had spent time talking with Rachel at the motel when she showed up at the barbecue. Explained to her who the Roses were to him. Who David was.

“I’ve talked with Rachel many times over the past year,” Marcy said. Leaving out the rest of her statement. Her wondering why Rachel never said a word.

“I told her I couldn’t ask her to keep my… secret. But I told her that I really wanted to be the one to tell you,” Patrick said. “I guess she honored that. What am I saying? Of course, she honored that.”

“Was she angry at you?” Marcy asked him.

“At first,” Patrick’s eyes looked as though he were revisiting the conversation all over again. He nodded. “But then… we talked about… some things. Some… private things between us. And… I think she understood. She was upset, still. But she seems to have understood. We’ve talked several times since then.”

“Son,” Clint’s voice was quiet. He set his coffee cup down on the table. He could not hold his questions any longer.

Patrick looked at his dad.

“Was there something we did? Something… that I did? To make you worried to tell us?” Clint asked him.

Patrick scooted his chair back and turned to face his father directly. “No. No, no, Dad. No.”

“We’ve talked a lot about things over the years. You and I.” Clint said. He squinted his eyes as he looked at Patrick. He paused before saying, “I apologize that I didn’t think about framing our conversations about sex to be more… open to… more than… heterosexual couples. Me not doing so doesn’t mean that I don’t support….”

Patrick cut off his father. Put his hand on his dad’s knee. “Dad. No. You have always been so great. You always answered every question I had. I honestly… Dad… I honestly didn’t ever think about it until I met him. I just… Dad… Just meeting him… I…”

Marcy started to speak and Clint held up a hand. Looked at her. “Please, Marse. Wait.”

He turned his attention back to his son.  
  
“Please, Patrick,” Clint said. “Finish what you were saying.”

Patrick took a deep breath. Exhaled.

“When I met him, I was very drawn to him. From the day I met him, Dad. Then we spent time together over the next couple of days and… It was like a ton of bricks hitting me. That’s when I came home. I needed to think… in a safe place. When I left there to come back here, I knew I was going to see if I could have a relationship with him. I talked him into letting me be his business partner… it’s a good business, Dad. A good solid business; I’ll show you the books.” Patrick got side tracked thinking about the business.

“Take it back to David. Talk to me about David,” Clint encouraged him.

“I liked him, Dad. A lot. Like the way I should have liked Rachel but didn’t. Thought about him all the time. Wanted to… be with him. And…when we kissed for the first time…” Patrick’s eyes went to the door of his apartment as though he were lost in the memory of that first kiss.

Clint looked at Marcy. Saw her eyes were locked on her son. Knew that as much as Marcy loved Rachel, one of Marcy’s biggest concerns was that Patrick never seemed to be head over heels in love with the girl.

Clint looked back at Patrick. “What happened when you kissed the first time, Son?”

Patrick shook his head. Smiled. His eyes danced as they locked on his dad’s. “Fucking fireworks, Dad.”

++++++

After David closed up the store, Stevie picked him up and they drove together into Elmdale. He told her, in the privacy of her car, of his fears about the weekend. He worried out loud about the possibility of Patrick’s parents not taking a liking to him.

She tried to use her sarcasm to ease him out of his panic spiral. “How could they not,” She said in her deadpan voice. “You’re an absolute delight.”

The game was well underway, as they walked together toward the baseball court. Each of them holding one side of the cooler that held juice, apples, and cheese sticks.

They spotted the Brewers sitting in the bleachers. David smiled at Marcy who waved at them. Clint was clapping and cheering for the kids.

After he settled in, sitting beside Mrs. Brewer, he did what he always did. His eyes raked over the kids as he looked for Patrick, who he spotted in the middle of a huddle talking with his team.

Eventually, Patrick looked up from his coaching duties and saw David in the stands beside his mother. He greeted David as he always did during a game; he tugged on the bill of his cap. Both David and Patrick’s mom waved at him.

Next, David looked for the scoreboard to determine how much longer they’d be.

“Bottom of the 8th. My goodness, we almost missed it.” He told Stevie who rolled her eyes at him.

++++++

After the game, David helped Stevie load the cooler back in her car. He waved at her as she drove away. He found Patrick loading the equipment into the trunk of his car. Looked across the small amount of people still milling about and saw his dad talking to the Brewers over near the stands.

“Good game, Coach,” David said as he sidled up to his boyfriend.

Trunk lid still up, they were blocked from the view of most people. Patrick pulled David close. “Hi,” his voice was soft and welcoming.

“How’d you do last night?” David asked him, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s shoulders.

“I made due.” Patrick kissed his neck. Whispered into his ear, “With a few memories and a toy.”

“Mmm. Mr. Brewer.” David smiled and tilted his head a little so Patrick had more room to do that thing he was doing near David’s ear.

“But I missed you,” Patrick leaned up for a brief kiss. David complied with his request. “How was _your_ night?” Patrick didn’t move away from David. Another kiss to his neck.

David closed his eyes and smiled at Patrick’s kisses. “I’m used to sleeping with strangers in the rooms near me? But it was odd knowing your parents and Terri and Amy were just down the way. I felt like it was my responsibility if they didn’t get a good night’s sleep. One of the guests came in really late and made a lot of noise. I wanted to go out a shush them.”

“I’m sure they were fine,” Patrick said. He nuzzled David’s neck. “God you smell good.”

“Better late than never, David,” David’s dad said as the three parents approached them. Then he added as a sidebar to Clint, “This one likes to sleep late.”

David jumped when he heard his dad’s voice. Stepped away from Patrick. His arms crossed over his chest.  
  
Patrick noticed that David put space between the two of them. Eyed David’s body language.

“I was working at the store, Dad. Busy day,” David told him. He turned to Patrick and said, “Had a shipment of Alpaca throws this morning.”

“Oh good. We were nearly out.” Patrick said. He shut the trunk of the car.

They had discussed earlier that they would take Patrick’s parents out to lunch. It seemed, though, that David’s dad was hanging around to talk longer. David worked to be subtle. He moved to stand by his dad, put his hand on his dad’s back and tapped him. Eventually, Johnny took his cue and said his goodbyes.

They had a nice, leisurely lunch. Clint asked David about how he came up with his idea for the store and the conversation flowed from there. David talked about what was in the space before he applied for the lease and how he had a vision for it, but needed some direction. He told them how thankful he was when he met Patrick who offered to help him.

Starting with talking about the business was an easy thing for them.

But then Marcy asked them to talk about how they met.

David’s eyes danced as he told her about how he had an appointment with Ray to start the incorporation paperwork. Told her about stepping into Ray’s and unexpectedly meeting Patrick.

“B-13,” they both said at the same time.

David pulled his lips into his mouth and bit down. Patrick chuckled and blushed at the silliness of them both saying the same thing at the same time.

Patrick’s heart raced with exhilaration as he talked about it. He realized as they talked that everyone in his current life was there as their relationship unfolded. He’d never had the experience of telling their meet-cute. He enjoyed it.

Patrick teased David, openly in front of his parents, about being indecisive as he filled out the initial paperwork. David told them how Patrick volunteered to help David with his business plan. How patient he was as David typed it out.

They didn’t go into the fine details of their emotions through that time; how they both realized they were attracted to one another. Those were private stories. But they told Patrick’s parents the general story of how they met and began to work together. Told them that Patrick asked David out for their first date on David’s birthday. Left out the part that David’s family had forgotten his birthday.

Though they’d never told their story together before, they seemed to both be on the same page of what to share. They leaned into each other and smiled at each other as they told the story. As they finished each other’s sentences.

Marcy and Clint held hands under the table as they watched them with growing happiness. When David would finish Patrick’s sentence, or when Patrick would tease David about something, Clint squeezed her hand. She squeezed his in return.

When they were in the car, ready to head home to Schitt’s creek, Patrick’s parents sat in the back seat. As they rode, the four of them chatted. Marcy watched her son, easy and comfortable with his boyfriend. Clint noticed that David rested his arm on the console, palm of his hand up. While Patrick drove, he settled his hand over David’s and they held hands most of the way home.

++++++

They sat in Patrick’s apartment. Patrick and David sat in the arm chairs on each side of the fireplace. Patrick’s parents sat on the couch. They sipped on the ice tea David had prepared for them while Patrick changed out of his coaching clothes in the bathroom.

Marcy eyed the guitar that sat in the corner near the bathroom. At first, David thought she was looking at him, until he realized her eyes were looking just over his shoulder. He turned to look behind himself to see she was eyeing the guitar.

At his movement, Marcy’s eyes shifted to David.

“He played the sports today,” David raised an eyebrow and grinned at Patrick’s mom.

She smiled and nodded, “He did.”

“He told me the rule you had when he was growing up,” David told her.

Patrick shook his head, “No.”

David sat his tea down and stood. He reached behind where he sat and retrieved Patrick’s guitar. “I believe the rule was that every day you played the sports you had to play music,” David said as he handed Patrick the instrument.

“Even if it’s only fifteen minutes. That’s right,” Marcy nodded.

Clint sat quietly and watched Patrick look at David. Watched them share a teasing grin. Watched the familiarity between the two. His son was comfortable with David. Moreover, his son would do anything for David.

While Patrick quietly played each string and tuned the guitar, David settled into his chair. Sitting in listening mode as he often did. Turned mostly sideways in the chair, so that he faced Patrick. One leg slung over the arm of the chair; he leaned his side against the back cushion. One elbow propped up on the top of the back of it. His head leaned against his hand. Ready to be carried away on the velvety voice of his boyfriend.

Guitar tuned, Patrick strummed the strings and a looked at his mom. “What do you want to hear?”

“Let’s start with…”

Patrick interrupted her with a chuckle, “Start with?”

“Please play me more than one. It’s been a long time.” She told him. She shifted as she felt Clint’s arm move around her. His arm resting on the back of the couch moved and wrapped around her shoulder. Pulled her in. She leaned against his side. His warmth, as always, her strength. His quiet way of supporting her.

Patrick looked his mother in the eyes. Nodded. He scooted forward in his seat; his guitar propped on his leg in position to be played.

“Let’s do our song to warm up,” he told her. Knowing he would get that look from her. That look of pure happiness.

David watched the two of them.

 _Our song._ David had heard Patrick play more songs than he could count. He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Patrick talk about he and his mom having _a song_. David’s eyes shifted to look at Patrick’s mom; who, at the phrase “Our song,” smiled broadly and raised her shoulders in anticipation.

His fingers found the chord for the song that he’d played for her a million times. On his guitar. On the piano. On his ukulele. On his accordion. His fingers began to strum on the strings. A simple strum. Then, his voice soft, he began to sing.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_ _  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away_

Upon hearing him start the song that she sang to him as she rocked him as a baby, she couldn’t stop the tears that stung her eyes and threatened to fall. She felt her husband’s arm tighten around her. She looked at her son’s smile as he looked into her eyes and sang. As he serenaded her, she felt as she always did when he sang. She was glad she had held her two men to the deal they struck when Patrick was just a few years old. For every sport he learned, he had to learn an instrument. And every day he played a sport, he had to also play music.

_The other night dear, as I lay sleeping_ _  
I dreamed I held you in my arms  
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken  
So I hung my head and I cried_

David watched Patrick’s mom as she was serenaded. David was used to being the one who was sung to. He had never watched Patrick look into the eyes of another and sing a song that connected them. He watched Patrick’s mom’s eyes well with tears. Noticed her lean into Patrick’s dad whose arm tightened around her. Watched Patrick smile at her. David knew something of what she was feeling, though of course it was a different connection that the two shared. He felt a warmth in his chest as he watched it. Felt like he was witness to something very private and precious.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_ _  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away_

As Patrick sang the verse again, Clint closed his eyes and remembered singing the song to his infant son when he rocked him to sleep at night. Remembered when he was not more than a year or so old, sick. Clint had picked him up from child care when he was very ill. He’d taken him home, bathed him, tried to soothe him. And, as always, the only thing that did soothe Patrick was holding him to his chest, rocking, and singing the song that Marcy had taught him. The song that connected the three of them.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_ _  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away_

Patrick sang the lines again. Needed them to know he was still Patrick. Still their son. Still the same person they’d always sung the song to. Still their boy. Still Patrick.

The room fell quiet.

Patrick cleared his throat.

David watched the three of them and felt like he was in a space that was nearly sacred. An intimate space that only happens between family. He knew that there were countless memories that each of them was recalling.

Not one who typically allowed silence to settle for long over a room without disrupting it to alleviate his own discomfort, David uncharacteristically chose to sit and wait. This was their moment on which to linger. Their serenade. He averted his eyes. Looked at his cuticles. Gave them their space.

“Thank you,” Marcy’s eyes were still locked with Patrick’s. She swiped at a tear before it fell.

Patrick took a deep breath. “Want another? One more?”

Clint smiled at his boy. Knew he was doing what Patrick often did in moments like these. Pleasing his mom. Doing one of the things that, unfailingly made her so happy.

Marcy nodded. “Yes. Please.”

Patrick’s fingers strummed on his guitar. Random chords. “What do you want to hear, Mom?”

Marcy raised her hand from her lap, toward David. Turned to look at David as if she were a host and needed to share Patrick. “David. Is there something you want to hear?”

David shook his head, “This is your concert, Mrs. Brewer. I get to make requests all the time.” And he meant it. He really meant it. He loved that Patrick was singing to his mother.

“Does he sing for you often?” Patrick’s mom asked him.

David smiled. His eyes shot quickly to Patrick. Then back to her. He nodded. “He does. And I love it.”

“Who do you want to hear, Mom?” Patrick asked her.

Marcy thought for a moment. “John Denver,” She said.

“Which one?” Patrick asked.

David closed his eyes and smiled, humored. Of course, Patrick had not one but multiple John Denver songs at the ready. In all their times of David playing for Patrick, he’d never heard him play one. But, of course, Patrick knew some. Of course, he did.

“You choose. Is there one you’ve practiced recently?” Marcy asked him.

Patrick leaned back a little. Looked up at the ceiling. Pulled half of his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down. Eyes squinted as he thought. He played a few chords. Settling on the right notes. Then he sat back up. Nodded, “OK. Got it.”

Clint’s hand patted Marcy’s shoulder. She looked at him and smiled.

Patrick’s fingers danced on the cords. This one wasn’t a strumming song. He picked out the notes and played them one by one.

[As he began to sing. His voice breathy](https://youtu.be/RNOTF-znQyw). His eyes focused on the floor in front of him. David watched him.

_You fill up my senses like a night in a forest,_ _  
Like the mountains in springtime,  
Like a walk in the rain, _

_Like a storm in the desert,_

David watched him. That calm washed over David. The feeling he felt every time his beautifully voiced lover sang a new song to him.

  
_Like a sleepy blue ocean.  
You fill up my senses, come fill me again._

As he sang the line, Patrick raised his eyes, but they didn’t settle on his mother. They settled on David. Patrick turned his body so that he faced David. David’s eyes locked on his. David’s heart beat thudded in his chest.

_Come let me love you,_

_Let me give my life to you,_ _  
Let me drown in your laughter,_

_Let me die in your arms._

Marcy watched her son look lovingly at his boyfriend. Watched a blush rise up over his cheeks. Looked at how serious his face was as he sang the words to the deeply personal love song.

_Let me lay down beside you,_

_Let me always be with you_ _  
Come let me love you,_

_Come love me again._

Clint took it all in, as he always did. As Marcy reached her hand across his lap, he clasped it. He followed her gaze. Watched David’s face react to Patrick’s song. Noticed one of David’s eyebrows subtly raise for a brief moment. Watched David’s mouth twist into a look that would appear he was holding in a smile. His mouth kind of shifted to the left. His eyes danced as he listened to the song.

_Come let me love you,_

_Let me give my life to you,_ _  
Let me drown in your laughter,_

_Let me die in your arms._

David felt his body respond as it always did, to Patrick’s smooth voice. Responded to the words Patrick sang. Responded to Patrick looking deeply into David’s soul while his parents looked on.

_Let me lay down beside you,_

_Let me always be with you_ _  
Come let me love you,_

_Come love me again._

  
David had regained regular breathing after the initial hitch at the intimacy of the moment. In spite of their onlookers, he felt that familiar feeling. The tug at the base of his abdomen. The twitch in a place that shouldn’t be twitching in the company of others; especially parents.

 _Let me give my life to you_ _  
Come let me love you,_

_Come love me again._

David cleared his throat and glanced out of the corner of his eye to see Patrick’s parents. Both were looking at him. He looked back at Patrick. Shifted. Pulled his feet onto the chair. Hugged his legs close to himself. Tucked into the chair.

_You fill up my senses like a night in a forest,_   
_Like the mountains in springtime,_   
_Like a walk in the rain,_

_Like a storm in the desert,_   
_Like a sleepy blue ocean._   
_You fill up my senses,_

_Come fill me again._

Patrick’s audience remained silent as he finished the song. His hand stilling on the guitar strings. He lowered his head. Made a sound in his chest. “Mmmm. How’s that, Mom?” He turned to look at her for the first time since he began singing.

She smiled, her hand rested over her heart, “It was wonderful, sweetheart. Just beautiful. Thank you.”

“I’ve missed that voice,” Patrick’s dad chimed in. Nodded.

Patrick stood. Moved to put the guitar back on its stand in the corner behind David’s chair. As he walked by him, David lifted his hand out to Patrick. “Yes, it was lovely,”

Patrick took hold of David’s hand as he walked by him. That easy movement one lover has with another when they walk by them. He held David’s hand while he reached around him to set the guitar down.

He leaned in to David for a kiss. In a moment of uncharacteristic timidness, David pulled his head back momentarily. He looked up at Patrick, who saw what David had done. David’s brows were furrowed. His lips pressed together.

Patrick, whose back was to his parents, winked at David and said in a voice loud enough for each person in the room to hear, “I love you… David.” Then he moved in again for a kiss.

Finding strength and encouragement in Patrick’s actions, David leaned into it. It was brief. Chaste. But a kiss in front of his parents nonetheless. As Patrick pulled back, David whispered quietly intending for only Patrick to hear, “I love you, too.”

But Patrick’s parents heard him. And they loved hearing it.

++++++

They spent the day together. They took a walking tour through town that ended at the Apothecary.

Clint and Marcy walked through the store and uttered compliments along the way. Marcy liked the aesthetic, “So beautiful.”

“That’s all David,” Patrick bragged. His hand touching David’s lower back.

While David and Marcy went upstairs to the newer space they’d created, Patrick and his dad went into the back-storage area and looked at the storage space. Talked about how they’d kept the books on paper still. Discussed some options for software that Patrick might look into buying.

Before they left the store, Marcy pointed at the curtain behind the register. “What’s that space back there?”

Patrick shoved his hands into his pockets. Remained quiet. He’d always told David that the space was his to allow others into, or not. It had always been David’s call about who was allowed into that very private space where their wall of memories would most certainly be discussed.

“Come on, Mrs. Brewer,” David waved her in the direction of the office. “I’ll show you.”

++++++

For dinner, Marcy had insisted on making Patrick’s favorite. Lasagna.

David asked her to teach him how to make it. Several times over the last year, they’d purchased frozen lasagna when Patrick had a craving. But Patrick always said it just wasn’t the same.

Patrick had asked for it whenever he wanted some comfort food. Food that reminded him of home. And other than the pre-made stuff they’d had, they only had homemade when Ray made it when Patrick was living at his place.

David drove her to the grocery store and asked questions about everything she put into the cart. He took notes in his journal.

Back at Patrick’s apartment, David worked with her in the small kitchen. He was in charge of boiling water and, later, putting noodles in it. She worked on the sauce and cooking the meat. When the cheesy mixture needed made, she started it, but then he offered to take over, confidently following the recipe. He knew what to do.

While they worked in the kitchen, Patrick and his dad sat at the desk and Patrick showed his dad the website software they used. Clint had been to the store’s website before, of course. But he was curious about how they created it. He was interested in the behind-the-scenes working of it. Patrick walked him through it.

“I love these,” Mrs. Brewer said to David as she pulled the baseball cards of David and Patrick off the refrigerator. “I have so many of these for Patrick when he was young.”

“He told me,” David nodded. He stopped stirring the cheese mixture and put his hands on his waist and watched her.

She used the baseball magnets and put them back on the refrigerator.

“Patrick?” David called across the room.

“Yeah,” Patrick looked over his shoulder from his seat at his desk.

“Your mom likes the baseball cards on the refrigerator,” he told Patrick with a smile.

Patrick hopped up, “Oh! Yeah!” He went to his closet and pulled out the blue gift bag. Dug into the bottom of it.

He handed his mom a baseball card of himself and a package of baseball-themed magnets.

“What’s this?” She asked.

“That’s for you from David,” Patrick told her.

“From David?” She asked.

“He got me the cards of us for my birthday. A while ago I told him about how you used to put the baseball cards of me on the refrigerator when I was growing up. So, he got you one, too.” Patrick patted David in the rear end as he walked by him and went back to join his dad at the desk.

“David. Thank you.” Patrick’s mom extended her arms, inviting him into a hug.

David leaned down and accepted the hug she offered. And, though David would swear that nobody was counting, it was their fifth hug that day.

“This is only a card of Patrick. You both are on his refrigerator.” She told David.

“I… um… I only gave you the one of him, since….”

“I’m going to need both my boys on the refrigerator at home,” Marcy told him. “If there is another one of you, I’d love to have it.”

From across the room, Patrick watched David pull his lips into his mouth and bite down. Nod his head. Then say, “I’ll get it to you tomorrow, Mrs. Brewer.”

++++++

After they ate dinner, they sat at the table and played a few rounds of spades. David and Patrick’s mom paired up against Patrick and his dad. All of them equally competitive. Teasing. Laughing. Serious tones. Kicking one another under the table.

David enjoyed the evening, happy that the family enjoyed a game night like he did.

Patrick drove them all back to the motel. After they got out of the car, Patrick’s parents gave him hugs goodnight. Said good night to David.

David snuck another hug from Patrick’s mom.

They left David and Patrick alone in the parking lot.

“I think Alexis has gone to Ted’s,” David said as he tugged on Patrick’s sleeve.

Patrick wiggled his eyebrows and followed David into his room.

As soon as they were in the room, Patrick pushed David back against the closed door and began to kiss him. His hands sneaking up under David’s sweater and pressed against the warm skin of David’s back.

David’s hands dropped to Patrick’s round ass. Squeezed him. Pulled Patrick to him.

He tilted his head so Patrick would have all the room he needed to do that thing on his neck that he did. _Yes. That thing. Oh god. That thing._

Just then the door between his room and his parents’ room flew open.

“Yes, Moira. I did hear him. See? David’s in here.” Johnny said loudly as he called over his shoulder.

Patrick stepped back. Away from David.

David growled a sound of frustration. “What?!” He barked at his dad.

“We wanted to invite Patrick and his parents to join us for brunch in the morning, David.” Johnny told him.

“Ew. Why?” David furrowed his brow and shook his head.

“That sounds nice, David,” Patrick told him. “That sounds nice, Mr. Rose. I like that idea.”

“ _You’ve_ never even joined us for brunch,” David told Patrick. “Why would you subject your parents to that?”

Patrick shrugged, “Well… one… _you’ve_ never _invited_ me to join you for brunch. And… two…I think it would be nice if our families got to know each other a little better.”

“Why?” David asked him. One hand on his waist.

“Because… we’re… umm… I just think it would be nice.” Patrick told him.

“I’ll go extend the invitation,” Jonny said as he walked to the front door of David’s room.

David scooted aside and let him out. Made a face of disgust.

Once alone in the room again, Patrick moved close to David. Moved to kiss him.

“That’s not happening now,” David said abruptly.

“Yeah…. I figured…” Patrick nodded his head and took two steps back. Arms crossed over his chest.

+++

End part 5 of 6

+++


	32. Patrick’s Surprise (MTP): Part 6 of 6 – Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Brewer family joins the Rose family for a Sunday morning Rose Family Brunch at the café. We see some of Moira's thoughts. Patrick and Alexis have a conversation. David has a conversation with Patrick's dad. David and Patrick say goodbye to the Brewers and then spend the rest of their Sunday enjoying one another's company. They talk about their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is part 6 of 6 chapters (the last of the MTP "Mini-series").  
> It takes place after 5.11. 
> 
> +++
> 
> I was not planning to post until Wednesday evening, but a little DisgruntledPelican told me this evening, "Can I say... I'm ready for Part 6 of the MTP mini-series." And I made the mistake of telling her it was edited and just about ready to go up. And, well... what DP wants, apparently DP gets. So I'm posting a night early. *Winking face emoji* (I love ya, Kid)
> 
> +++
> 
> I would like to say I loved seeing photos of Noah post earlier this week with a lot more scuff on his face than we are used to seeing. I wrote something in this chapter about his facial hair (written several weeks ago) and was thrilled to see the pictures to go along with my visual of him in this chapter. 
> 
> +++
> 
> The next chapters are well underway, but since these six have occupied so much of my time (due to the posting schedule) those next chapters have set, unattended, for a while. They will need me and my time before they are ready to post. So this 2x per week business isn't going to happen over these next chapters. Give me a bit of time to spend with them so they will be the quality I need them to be for posting. (likely a week or more). Thank you for your patience. 
> 
> +++
> 
> I have appreciated how much you all have supported me through these chapters. How you've shared your voting stories and your feelings of elation as we learned of the new president-elect has been inspiring to me. And I've loved hearing from those of you who live in other countries. Thank you all. We have a long fight ahead of us. January 20 cannot come fast enough, I know. But we will hold strong and support one another.
> 
> Much love to you all. I appreciate you and love this fandom (and you) more than I can ever express. 
> 
> *Blue heart emoji*  
> \- PD
> 
> +++

++++++

Twyla had pushed together a couple of tables in the middle of the café to fit all seven of them. Host of the brunch, Johnny sat at one end. Moira on his right, Clint on his left. Beside Clint sat Marcy. Beside her was David. Beside her mother, and across from Marcy, was Alexis. Across from David, beside Alexis was Patrick. (Chart provided for those in need of a visual).

Moira was quiet and kept mostly to herself. She eyed her husband and Clint. Listened a bit to their conversation. She was pleased that Johnny had another business-minded man with which to have an engaging exchange. She watched them drink their coffee and slowly work through the food on their plates. Moira knew, deep down that this would be the first of many gatherings of the two families.

The conversation flowed easily between Clint and Johnny who talked business. Johnny answered Clint’s questions about the motel and changes they’d been making to it. Clint filled Johnny in on his work as an accountant. They discussed Schitt’s Creek and the economic advantages of working in a smaller market. Clint, of course, knew who Johnny was. Knew his background. He wisely steered clear of any talk of Johnny’s past business.

Moira didn’t move her head but gave a sideways glance to the end of the table across from her, where her son was engaged in conversation with Marcy. She sipped her tea quietly and scrutinized them. If you’d ask her, she would never be honest with you about the feelings she felt. She would never admit, not in a million years – not even to Johnathan – that she fought back the green monster of jealousy at Patrick’s birthday gathering when her son and Marcy danced together. You would never drag out of her, nobody would, that she feared much as she did when he was just a moppet, that another woman who was better suited to maternal instincts would gain favor with him.

Marcy and David were deep in conversation about the Emcee costume that David was working on for Patrick to wear in the production of Cabaret. He’d pulled out his phone and showed her photos of Alan Cumming in the role. Marcy told him that, of course, she knew who Alan Cumming was and it was a brilliant idea to create something for Patrick along those lines. David told her about how Gwen had coached him and David described how he’d created the system of straps that Patrick would wear. He, wisely, left out that he’d made Patrick wear a jock strap and nothing else while he created it.

David would never admit, not even in his most trusted moments with Patrick, that he’d been pleasantly surprised that Mrs. Brewer was no prude. He’d worried at first. He heard the rules of the Brewer house – “No using the f-word” and “No sleeping with someone in the Brewer house unless there was a marriage prior to the sleep over.” He had assumed that she would bristle at the thought of Patrick playing the Emcee. Much to the contrary, she knew the show well and was thrilled when Patrick had told her he’d be playing the Emcee. She told David that she was excited and checked her calendar for which night she would be in the audience.

Other than hellos, Patrick and Alexis didn’t really speak to one another for the first half of the meal. Alexis had shied away from talking with him. Patrick had mostly talked with his mom and David. For the past couple of weeks, since the sink incident, the two had only had surface-level exchanges. He knew she was afraid to talk with him, but he knew it was time to smooth things over. He also knew that he had to hold her accountable for what she did at the store. The sink incident aside, she had not been responsible at all when they needed her to be.

“Alexis? Think we need to talk?” he leaned against her; bumped shoulders with her.

Chagrinned before Patrick even spoke, she uncharacteristically sat quietly with her eyes on the table in front of herself.

“You’re angry at me,” She said quietly to him.

“Frustrated at the situation,” Patrick clarified. He leaned toward her. His voice quiet so that only she would hear him. His intention not to embarrass her, but to clear the air between them. Hash it out.

“I’m sorry about the sink.” She twisted the napkin in her lap.

“Was it just the sink, though?” Patrick asked her.

“Isn’t that why you and David fought? The sink?” She asked.

“Any disagreement David and I had… well that’s really between us. I’m hoping you and I can clear the air. Been wantin’ to talk to you about when you work for us.” Patrick told her.

“M’Kay,” Alexis pulled at the braid that hung over her right shoulder. She turned slightly in her chair to look at him.

Patrick, voice still low so that only she could hear, said, “We really appreciate that you’ve been there in the past to help us. It means a lot to me that we’ve been able to rely on you when we need you.”

She poked his thigh with her finger, “Of course, Button. I’m here for you.”

“And I know when I meet with you and train you on what we need you to do at the store, you always listen and do really great work,” he told her.

She smiled. Poked his arm with her finger.

“I don’t… Alexis, I don’t know why you don’t do the same for David. We really needed your help that day.” Patrick told her.

“I’m sorry,” She said. “I’ll repay you for the sink.”

“Yeah, we’re going to have to work to figure that out,” Patrick said. “But you know, it… it was more than just the cost of the sink. We also missed out on having our shipment that we expected. And that threw us off on inventory. And you left the door unlocked, Alexis. When you and Ted...” Patrick made the sign. Smacked the end of the fist of one hand with the flat palm of his other hand. Then he added, “And you did it in our office, Alexis."

“So, what do you want from me?” She asked him.

“I guess I want to know if you want to be the person we rely on when we need a worker or if you want us to find someone else. I don’t want to ask you to do it if you don’t want to do it.” Patrick told her frankly.

She squeezed his forearm. “I want to be the person who helps you.”

“Even though you’re not helping _me_ … you’re helping _David_ and me?” he clarified.

Alexis rolled her eyes. Glanced across the table at David, who was in a deep conversation with Patrick’s mom.

“Listen. When you have an event… when you had _singles’ week_ … he helped you. Right? He didn’t argue with you. He helped. When you two are working… when you’re at our store… he’s not your _brother_. He’s the store owner.” Patrick told her.

“M’Kay.” She sighed.

“Alexis, it’s my store, too. I feel like how you treat it when you work there is how you think of me.” He only felt a little bad about pulling out the guilt trip on her. After all, he was being completely honest with her. And what she had done was _completely_ unacceptable.

Her face became flushed. Her eyes shifted and her aqua eyes looked into his soulful brown ones. She shook her head, “I didn’t mean to disrespect either of you, Patrick.”

“Thank you,” he told her.

“I’ll pay for the repairs,” She told him. Her hand still on his forearm.

He placed his hand over hers. “Yeah. We can figure that out. I’m wondering if you want to do that by doing some work at the store. We’ll take the cost of the repairs out of what we’d pay you.”

“You’d trust me to do that?” She asked him.

“You’re telling me that you won’t do anything like that again, right?” Patrick asked.

She nodded.

“If you don’t want to work for us, I would understand. I can hire someone else. We’ve always turned to you because you’re the one person we trust to do it.” He told her.

“No. No. I want to do it. I want to be there for you.” She said.

“My parents want me to come for a visit. I want to take David with me. Do you think you could do a weekend? Maybe a Friday, Saturday? Maybe a Monday morning?”

“I could. I think I maybe need a practice day with you.” She poked her finger into his chest.

“I’d really like that.” Patrick said.

“A practice day with _you_. Not _David_ and you.” Alexis clarified.

Patrick smiled. Winked at her. Nodded. “With me. Thank you, Alexis.”

Alexis booped his nose. “Anything for you, Button.”

++++++

They had walked to the café for brunch. David stood arm-in-arm with Patrick as their parents said goodbye to each other. Then the four of them walked through the park on their way to Patrick’s apartment.

Marcy and Patrick led the way. Marcy’s arm tucked into her son’s. They chatted about the happenings of home.

David and Mr. Brewer walked behind them.

“David, I want to thank you. This weekend has been wonderful. We really needed it,” Mr. Brewer told him.

David nodded, “I’m happy you were able to be here. I know it’s been a very special weekend for him.”

“We’ve enjoyed getting to know you better,” Patrick’s dad added.

“I feel the same,” David said quietly with a smile.

Patrick’s dad said, “You know, David, Patrick told me yesterday that he was thinking of going ahead and coming home next weekend.”

“Oh?” David asked. Patrick hadn’t mentioned it.

“Just want you to know, if you want to come along, you’re welcome. We’d love to have you.” Patrick’s dad told him.

A warmth washed over David. His mouth pulled to the side. His satisfied grin. He had thought that things were going well. Thought that Patrick’s parents were accepting him. But he wasn’t sure if maybe that was just them being kind. But an invitation to their home gave David an indication that they _did_ like him. Or at least accepted the fact that David and Patrick were a couple.

“I’d want to talk it over with Patrick. Be sure we can swing it at the store. But, yes. I’d like that very much, Mr. Brewer. Thank you.” David told him.

++++++

Holding hands, they stood near the curb as the truck drove away. Marcy leaned out the open window and waved to her son who held his hand to his lips and then threw a kiss to her with a wave of his hand.

They stood there until the truck turned the corner and was out of sight. David’s hand tightened on Patrick’s. He had watched the emotional goodbye and knew that Patrick may need some time with it.

Patrick looked down. David saw him swipe at a tear.

Wordlessly they walked toward the apartment building. Patrick held the door for David who, in turn, held the door to the stairwell for Patrick.

They walked quietly up the stairs. Patrick in front of David. One of his hands behind his back. David holding on to Patrick’s hand. David wondered if Patrick would need some time alone.

When David stepped into the apartment, he found himself abruptly pushed back against the door, causing it to close loudly. A surprised, “Oh,” escaped him just before Patrick’s lips pressed against his.

Patrick’s tongue needn’t ask for entry as David’s mouth was open and ready for him.

As Patrick licked into David’s mouth, his hands quickly moved to the hem of David’s sweatshirt, pushing it up. David’s arms followed the unspoken instruction and raised up while Patrick pushed the sweatshirt up over David’s head. Patrick tossed it, uncharacteristically, to the floor as his hands quickly moved to David’s chest. Down his sides. Then back up his abdomen to his chest again.

His mouth found first one then the other nipple, and as he sucked and nipped at David, the pads of his fingers kneaded David’s flesh.

David’s hands quickly went to work unbuttoning the buttons of Patrick’s baby blue shirt. One. Two. Three. Four. Tugging at it, impatiently, until it was free from the jeans where he had tucked it. David pushed the shirt off Patrick’s shoulders. Patrick moved his hands away from David’s skin long enough to let the shirt fall from his arms.

Their bare chests pressed together as Patrick’s hands reached around David, around his waist and up his back, latching onto David’s shoulders. Patrick’s head tilted back, his mouth begging to be kissed. Kissed the way he liked it. Hard. Penetrating. Wet.

One hand on each side of Patrick’s head, David roughly pulled him closer and took his mouth the way he’d wanted to take him for days. No part of Patrick’s mouth went unexplored as David’s tongue delved deep into him.

David moaned into Patrick’s mouth as he felt Patrick’s fingernails drag down his back. Patrick pushed down the elastic waisted pants, over David’s ass. They fell around his ankles. David toed at his shoes and was unsuccessful at getting them off his feet.  
  
Pulling his mouth away from David’s, Patrick dropped to his knees. Untied David’s shoes and pulled them, his socks, and the pants from David. He reached for David’s underwear. David pushed them down. Kicked them off his feet.

While he was on his knees, Patrick grasped David’s cock with one hand and hungrily pulled him into his mouth and sucked on him. Moaning as he felt David’s fingers work the scalp on the back of his head.  
  
His hands massaged David’s balls as his tongue swirled around the head of David’s cock. Then he pulled him in again; deeper into his mouth. Sucking and licking him.

Patrick felt David tugging on his arm. Pulling him up. “Up. Up.” David demanded. Patrick followed direction and stood.

His eyes traveled quickly from Patrick’s sparkling eyes to his damp, swollen lips. David’s lips curled up at the sight of him. He pulled him in again. A harsh, possessive kiss that caused Patrick to press David harder against the door.

While David’s hands remained on Patrick’s head, as he controlled the kiss, Patrick’s hands both kneaded David’s ass cheeks and pressed David to him. David’s cock, pressed between their bodies, was feeling both the pain of Patrick’s belt buckle and the pleasure of the warm flesh of Patrick’s abdomen.

Patrick pulled back slightly, to look up at him. David allowing the movement.

He looked into David’s eyes. “I’m gonna fuck you.”

“Condom.” David asserted his need.

Patrick nodded and readily agreed, “Condom.”

David’s hand on Patrick’s chest gently pushed Patrick away from him. And then, David tucked his hand into the front waist of Patrick’s jeans. David tugged Patrick behind him as he walked quickly to the bed.

Once there, Patrick found himself being pushed down. He sat on the side of the bed and tried to reach for David’s cock, but David kept pushing him backward. David, naked, crawled on top of him. Kissed up his abdomen to his chest, his mouth lingering over one nipple while a finger teased the other. And then, David’s mouth was on his. Plunging, again, deeply and possessively into Patrick’s.

The stubble of David’s chin rough on Patrick’s lips caused a surge of blood to flow to his already aching cock. Patrick reached between them to unfasten his jeans, release himself from the tight constraint.

Tearing his lips away from Patrick, David first sat back then stood by the side of the bed and harshly tugged at Patrick’s snug jeans. Patrick lifted his hips to help David as he yanked on them to pull them down Patrick’s legs, pulling off his shoes and socks with them.

David crawled up onto the bed beside Patrick and continued moving past him as he went to retrieve the supplies they’d need from the drawer on the other side of the bed. As he moved by him, Patrick grabbed him. First kissing, then biting David’s ass cheek. Then flatting David to the mattress as Patrick lay atop him. Kissing David’s shoulder, his neck, his cheek. Rubbing his thick, hard cock against the crack of David’s ass.

Then as quickly as he was on him, he was back up onto his knees and David continued in his quest, reaching into the drawer. He tossed the lube over his shoulder for Patrick, who deftly caught the bottle. David moved into the position he wanted. On his knees, legs spread, he faced the headboard and sighed with pleasure as he felt Patrick’s lubed finger enter him without hesitation.

David tore open the condom wrapper and set it beside his knee on the pillow and then with one hand, he grasped the railing of the headboard. His other hand reached up beside him to hold Patrick’s head as Patrick kissed along the slope of his neck.

Patrick wasted no time, first one and then two fingers in. His lips trailed over David’s shoulder. Up his neck. Kissed him just under David’s ear. All while his fingers pressed in and pulled out of Patrick. Readying him.

Patrick’s aching, throbbing cock pressed against David’s ass cheek, wanting more. Needing more.

“It’s good. I’m good. Let’s go.” David, frustrated, breathed out the words while he waved one hand in the air.

Patrick didn’t have to be told twice. He reached for the condom and rolled it down his thick cock. Slicked it with lube. Up on his knees, straight behind David, he pressed himself against David’s quivering, begging hole.

True to Patrick’s form, he moved slowly so as to not hurt David. True to David’s form he wanted it hard and he wanted it fast.

Once he knew Patrick was in place. Once Patrick’s cock had started its movement into him, David forced his body backward, pressing down on Patrick. Pressing back onto Patrick.  
  
The movement, along with David’s weight, pushed Patrick back so that his legs folded beneath him. He sat. Legs bent under himself. Shins against the mattress, his ass against his feet. David straddling him. Sitting on him. David’s back pressed solidly against Patrick’s chest. A position in which they’d never been before together.

David’s hands slid down from the top rail to the vertical rails of the head board. Used them as leverage as he began to take control of the movement. Up and down. Riding Patrick’s thick, farmer cock that filled him. Thoroughly and completely filled him. The cock that always seemed to find and rub against that spot that brought David so much pleasure.

Patrick’s lubed hand gripped David’s cock tightly while his other hand moved up David’s chest and hooked over his shoulder, helping to push him down onto Patrick in the rhythm David had created. Patrick found the rhythm David set and began to buck his hips with a force that brought sounds that he liked out of David.

David’s head rolled back and he enjoyed the exhalation of Patrick’s rough breathing in his ear. The grunts that came from David started quietly but soon were the only sound in the room other than, sweaty flesh slapping against sweaty flesh, and the sound of the mattress moving quickly and harshly beneath them.

Minutes after they started, Patrick found himself tensing underneath David as he emptied all his body had to offer into the condom wrapped around himself. “God. Fuck.” He said harshly into David’s ear as he bucked up into David. As his hand on David’s shoulder roughly pulled David down onto him.

David continued to move on him. A few more thrusts, a few more times of Patrick’s hand pumping tightly around his cock, and David followed suit. He leaned further back into Patrick and let Patrick take him there. The satisfying last pumps of Patrick’s hand on David’s cock brought a burst of cum out of David as it spilled out and over Patrick’s hand.

The two remained there. Motionless. Patrick’s cock buried deep into David. Patrick’s lips pressed to David’s shoulder. David’s head leaned against Patrick’s head. His hands still grasping at the rails of the headboard, though he didn’t need them as Patrick’s solid body and strong arms were holding him up.

Both worked to regain their breathing. Both quiet. Their minds void of thought. Their bodies feeling the pleasure of having released the tension they’d held for days.

Patrick kissed him. Kissed his shoulder. His neck.

David turned his head. Patrick kissed him on the cheek near his mouth. As near his mouth as he could get.

David moved. Shifted, ready to sit up.

“No wait.” Patrick said quietly.

David grinned, knowingly. His sweet man always wanted it to last a little longer. Always asked him to wait.

David stopped his movement and waited. Waited until he felt Patrick’s hand move behind them to hold onto the condom. Waited for Patrick to whisper the go-ahead, “OK.”

Then, he sat up on his knees. Used his grip on the headboard to pull himself up. Shut his eyes as he felt Patrick pull out of him.

David lay back on the bed. His head at the foot of the bed. His feet resting on his pillow. Patrick was there, then, with a hot washcloth. First wiping at the cum on David’s abdomen. Then lifting David’s leg and pressing the warm cloth to David’s hole. Always attentive. Always caring. More than David really needed. But all that David appreciated.

“Thank you,” David whispered.

Patrick draped Grandma’s quilt over David. Pulled the pillow out from under David’s feet and tossed it to him. David smiled as he turned to his side, tucked the pillow under himself. Smiled as Patrick crawled under the quilt to spoon him. Smiled as Patrick wrapped an arm around him to pull him backward. Pull him close.

Patrick had never felt better. The pressure of the secret he’d held for nearly a year was no longer sitting between them. Off his shoulders. Off his heart. Off his mind. Released from the closet in which he’d been holding part of himself. Now, all of that was gone. He could start to plan their future.

The weight began to settle over David. Patrick had kept a secret from him. A huge secret. For a year, well… nearly a year. He hadn’t trusted David with it. He wasn’t angry, really. He did wonder though. David wondered what else Patrick had been holding. They would talk. David knew they would. They needed to. But not in that moment. He’d find the right time to bring it up, hash it out.

In that moment, they both wanted nothing more than to hold one another. After the emotion-filled weekend they’d shared. After not holding one another for several days. After not fucking for a couple of weeks. It just felt good to lay there in each other’s arms. On a Sunday afternoon. Nothing on the calendar. No work calling to be done. Just each other. Naked. Vulnerable. Exposed.

Comforted by the other’s presence.

David reached for Patrick’s arm. Pulled it tight around himself.

Patrick kissed David’s shoulder.

And they let everything go in that moment. Snuggled together under the quilt. Bodies relaxed and exhausted. They drifted into a peaceful Sunday afternoon nap.

++++++

David woke to the sound of the guitar. Notes quietly being plucked out on the strings somewhere in the apartment.

He rolled onto his back. Stretched his legs and arms in opposite directions. Made a sound of contentment as his body woke. He rolled onto his stomach, Grandma’s quilt wrapping around him as he moved, and leaned up onto his elbows. Looked around and found Patrick, dressed only in his underwear, sitting in the arm chair nearest the bathroom. David smiled at him.

Patrick winked at him. He’d been playing his guitar and watching David sleep. Hoping the music would lull David awake. He didn’t want them to sleep away the remaining hours of the day. He’d missed David, if that made any sense. He’d spent a lot of time near David over the weekend, but they were never alone. Not really.

“Sing me something?” David asked him. He rested his chin on his hands. Kicked his feet up behind him.

Patrick was always taken aback at finding David doing something that was so profoundly sexy when David had no clue he was doing so. Naked in Patrick’s bed. The old, worn quilt draped over his ass. His chest and shoulders exposed. His bare feet kicked up behind him. His hair looking like he’d been properly fucked. His eyebrows run amok from his nap.

“What do you want to hear?” Patrick asked, his fingers never once stopping as they danced over the guitar strings.

“I liked the John Denver song you sang yesterday for your mom.” David said.

“I sang that for you,” Patrick said.

“I could tolerate it again,” David teased him.

Patrick nodded and changed the chord he was playing. Changed the tempo of the notes he played. Began to play the song again.

_You fill up my senses like a night in a forest,_   
_Like the mountains in springtime,_   
_Like a walk in the rain, like a storm in the desert,_   
_Like a sleepy blue ocean._   
_You fill up my senses, come fill me again._

He kept his eyes on David as he sang. His voice smooth and sure. He meant the words. So many songs, so many of them expressed his feelings. This one, no different than the others. But the words were very specific and vivid. Full of emotion. And he meant every one of them.

_Come let me love you, let me give my life to you,_   
_Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms._   
_Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you_   
_Come let me love you, come love me again._

David sat up. Stood beside the bed. Opened wide the blanket around his naked body. Held it out at arm’s length in order to adjusted it around himself. Wrapped himself back up in the blanket. Tucked it around his chest and moved to the couch. Nearer to his Patrick. His eyes never leaving Patrick’s. Knowing full well that Patrick’s eyes followed David’s every move.

_Let me give my life to you,_   
_Come let me love you, come love me again._

_You fill up my senses like a night in a forest,_   
_Like the mountains in springtime,_   
_Like a walk in the rain, like a storm in the desert,_   
_Like a sleepy blue ocean._   
_You fill up my senses, come fill me again._

“Again,” David’s command was soft as he tucked his legs under himself. Lay down on his side. Rested his head against the arm of the couch.

Patrick didn’t wait to be asked. He didn’t hesitate to restart the song. Sang the words to him, again.

As David lay on the couch, he closed his eyes and let Patrick’s words wash over him.

Then, Patrick moved into another song. And then another. Songs from their list. Songs that he knew David liked. Fingers danced over the strings. His voice soothing. Telling David in music how much he loved him. Telling him through song that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

A lazy smile on David’s curved lips told Patrick all he needed to know.

++++++

David sat at the table. Grandmas blanket still wrapped around him. Patrick still wearing only his underwear.

Patrick set the plates of heated-up lasagna and warmed garlic bread on the table. He refilled David’s wine glass. He opened another beer for himself.

They sat quietly while they ate. Patrick savored every bite.

Patrick was deliriously happy.

The buzz of his phone vibrating on the table beside his plate broke the silence of the room. He checked it. Responded to the text.

“They made it home,” he set the phone down. Took a bite of his bread.

“They really are lovely, Patrick. I always knew they were? From our conversations? But… just very lovely.” David told him.

Patrick nodded. Sipped his beer. It felt good to hear that David liked his parents.

“I know it’s a really busy time with rehearsal and wrapping up Little League, but maybe we can go up for a visit?” Patrick asked him.

“We?” David asked.

“I mean… Dad told me he invited you.” Patrick sat back in his chair. Eyed David.

“He did,” David nodded.

“What do you think?” Patrick asked.

“We’d have to shut down the store for the time we’re gone. Can we afford to do that?” David asked.

“Talked to Alexis. Maybe we give her another chance.” Patrick broached the subject.

David rolled his eyes as he set his napkin on his empty plate, “Patrick…”

“Just… David. Let me work with her. You know she did a great job before.” Patrick would always champion Alexis when David wasn’t necessarily keen on giving her the benefit of the doubt.

“I will never understand that thing between the two of you,” David pulled his mouth to the side. His little smile.

“I’ll take care of it. If she messes it up, we won’t have her do it again,” Patrick promised.

David carried their plates to the sink.

“Whatever you want. So long as you take care of it. I’m not dealing with her.” David told him.

“OK,” Patrick assured him. Watched him run water over the plates.

David looked over his shoulder. “I mean it. If you’re taking care of it, this time you can’t drop that curve ball.”

Patrick chuckled. Loved that David made an attempt at using a sports analogy. “I promise.”

Patrick joined David at the sink. Ran his hand down David’s back. Cupped his ass.

David swatted his hand away, “Mr. Brewer. I’m doing dishes.”

“Leave them,” Patrick wrapped his arms around David’s waist. Pressed against David’s back.

“I need to go get dressed,” David protested. “You need to drive me home.”

“Why?” Patrick asked him. Hand on David’s shoulder, he turned David around to face him.

One hand holding the blanket over his chest, David draped his other hand over Patrick’s shoulder. “Because it’s Sunday night and I stay at my place on Sunday nights.”

“Not this time. Please,” Patrick asked. His voice dropped to ask a quiet and breathy, “Please stay.”

David raised an eyebrow. Used both hands to open up the blanket that was wrapped around him. Patrick stepped closer. His arms wrapped around David’s naked waist. David drew his arms around Patrick. Both of them wrapped in the blanket.  
  
Patrick’s hands roamed up David’s back, then down to cup his bare ass, while he kissed David’s neck and shoulder.

“I need to go take care of my face,” David told him.

“All right. I’ll finish dishes,” Patrick told him.

David moved to the bed. Dug through his black leather bag for his toiletry bag. He draped the blanket over the end of the bed and then walked, flirtatiously, to the bathroom.

Patrick watched him until the bathroom door closed behind him.

++++++

When Patrick left the bathroom, he walked through the apartment shutting off lights. Made sure the door was locked.

After he pushed down his underwear and got under the covers, he met David half-way across the bed.

They lay facing one another. Kissing. Lips touching tenderly. Mouths slightly open. Occasionally sucking on a lip. Licking into a mouth. Taking their time while their hands moved over one another.

David’s fingertips danced up and down Patrick’s spine stopping from time to time to cup his full, round ass. Patrick’s hand, between them, stroked David’s chest. Fingers playing with David’s chest hair. His nipples. All while the slow, easy kissing continued.

David raised his knee. Rested it on Patrick’s hip. Draped his leg over Patrick. Wordlessly telling him that he wanted more.

Patrick’s fingers dragged down David’s side, over his hip, down his outer thigh. Then his hand cupped the back of David’s thigh. Massaged him there, then moved to hold David’s ass. Pulled him closer.

Patrick leaned up on an elbow, turning David as he did so. David rotating slightly so he was partially on his back looking up at Patrick. Knee still raised; leg now wrapped around Patrick. Holding him near with his leg while David’s hand continued its exploration of Patrick’s back.

Patrick deepened their kiss. Tongue boldly delving into David’s mouth. David wrapped his arms around Patrick’s neck. One hand holding the back of Patrick’s head. A prolonged, sensual kiss.

“Are we gonna to do this?” Patrick asked him, his lips brushing across David’s cheek. Patrick was now ready. No more secrets. No more barriers. No more condoms. He was ready.

“Mmmm,” David made a sound of pleasure mixed with contentment. He didn’t form any words. His leg tightened around Patrick. Pulled him nearer.

An exhale. A moan from Patrick as he pressed his lips firmly to David. The kiss growing more passionate.

David pushed back on Patrick. Rolled him back until Patrick was on his back. David was over him. David moved his body. Slowly, surely. While his lips locked, again, with Patrick. Partly straddling one of Patrick’s legs as the weight of his body settled over him.

Patrick read David’s desire. Matched it. Made a sound of pleasure under him.

David leaned on one of his elbows while his other hand moved on Patrick.

His lips on Patrick’s, his hand on Patrick’s cheek. “I want to make love to you,” David told him.

“OK,” Patrick breathed. “Whatever you want.”

It was fine with him if David was the first to go. Patrick had always been fine if David had wanted to fuck him without a condom. It was never a worry for him.

The fingers of one of Patrick’s hands drew a line up David’s arm. From the hand that was against Patrick’s cheek up to David’s shoulder. Then he slid his hand down David’s side. _God_ , he loved David’s body.

“You know how you tell me all the time that you like my stubble?” David asked him. His lips trailing up Patrick’s jaw line. Dropping kisses along the way.

“Mmhm,” Patrick closed his eyes at the feeling. He liked when David talked to him during sex. Loved how his voice dropped an octave when he quietly, seductively talked to him while they were intimate.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I like yours.” David’s fingers scratched lightly at the other side of Patrick’s face.

His facial hair didn’t grow as fast as David’s, and it wasn’t as thick or coarse as David’s when it grew in. But he hadn’t shaved since a day or so before his birthday and he had some growth and David liked it. David wanted him to know.

“You do?” Patrick asked him. A little surprised. He’d always just assumed it didn’t matter to David. He knew David liked his ass. He knew David liked his thighs. He knew David liked his arms. His facial hair? He had no clue.

David kissed down his neck. His fingers still lightly moving over Patrick’s jaw line. “Clean shaven or not, I like it all on you. But this? I like it.” David exhaled near his ear. He knew Patrick liked that.

David’s exhalation near his ear caused his toes to curl. _God,_ he loved when David did that.

David’s lips brushed against Patrick’s as his hand ran down Patrick’s neck and over his muscled shoulder.

“You’re masculine. I like that you’re masculine. Strong.” David continued.

His lips moved to follow behind where his hand had been. Down Patrick’s neck. Over his shoulder. Back up his neck.

Patrick pressed his head back into his pillow. A small sound of contentment vibrated in his throat. His hands clasped David’s ass and pressed against him. Pushing David’s groin against his own. He raised one knee. His foot flat on the mattress.

David slid down his body. His mouth following his hands. Kissing and licking on Patrick’s neck. Down to his chest. Rubbing his own stubbled cheek on Patrick’s chest. His fingers played with the light dusting of hair there.

His tongue flicked out to one of Patrick’s nipples. Then swiped a solid lick over it. Then teased it. A kiss with suction.

Both of Patrick’s hands moved to David’s head for a moment before sliding down his back again.

David’s hands moved to Patrick’s sides. He sat up. Sat on Patrick. Moved over Patrick. His hands sliding up Patrick’s sides, under his arms. The movement caused Patrick’s arms to move up over his head. David’s hands, sliding under Patrick’s arms, pushed them over his head until Patrick’s hands touched the headboard. David’s hands encouraged Patrick’s to hold on to the vertical rungs there. Then his fingers trailed up and down Patrick’s arms.

“Strong.” David breathed out the words. “Strong hands. Strong arms.”

Patrick knew what David was doing. Building him up. Praising him. Stroking his ego with words while his hands stroked Patrick everywhere else. Patrick wouldn’t argue. He liked when David did that. David knew Patrick liked when he did that. It made Patrick feel virile. Turned him on.

David’s lips were on Patrick’s arms. Kissing and licking him. He buried his face in Patrick’s armpit. Pressed his lips to Patrick. Inhaled deeply the masculine scent that was Patrick.

“I like that you’re a man. I like that you’re _my_ man,” David murmured, mostly to himself. Patrick liked hearing it.

“Yours,” Patrick told him quietly.

David shifted to nestle himself between Patrick’s legs. Patrick raised his other knee. Both up; feet on the mattress while his arms, slightly bent, were over his head. Hands still held to the rungs on the headboard. He looked down his body to watch the top of David’s head move down his body. Kissing and licking as he went.

As David neared Patrick’s thick, erect cock, he nuzzled his face against it. Inhaling him. _Fuck_ he loved that cock. He mouthed it. Lips pressing against the velvety skin of his shaft. Gentle kisses; his mouth slightly open. Tongue darting out for brief licks along the thick vein.

Patrick’s head rolled back. Pushed back into the pillow. Eyes closed, he relaxed into the feeling of David worshiping his body. Knowing that they were going to be closer than ever afterward. As close as they’d ever been.

David’s mouth continued on its journey. He kissed along Patrick’s hip on one side of his body while his fingers slid under Patrick’s other hip.

His head between Patrick’s thighs, he rubbed his cheek against the tender flesh of one. He loved Patrick’s thighs. Solid and strong.

“I love your legs. I love these thighs.” David told him. “Thick tree trunks.”

Patrick chuckled. “Thank you.” He whispered.

David turned his face and his lips brushed over the skin there. He first kissed him gently. Then he opened his mouth and sucked on him. Nipped at him. Gave him a hickey on the sensitive skin at the top inside of his thigh.

Patrick hips rocked forward.

David’s lips curved into a smile as they pressed against Patrick’s thigh. Seeing what he was doing. Knowing what he wanted.  
  
He crawled back up Patrick’s body. Kissed him. His tongue licking into Patrick’s mouth.

“OK, Baby.” David breathed out as his mouth moved over Patrick’s ear.

He reached into the drawer beside Patrick’s bed. Pulled out what he needed.

Patrick rolled his head back. Eyes closed again as he felt the first of David’s lubed fingers slide into him. His fists tightened around the thin bars they clutched over his head.

He was ready. They were ready. They were finally there. No more barriers. Just he and David. Together. Nothing, _literally nothing_ between them.

David’s finger reached in and pressed up. Touching that spot. Patrick’s body jerked with the intensity.

 _God,_ David always knew exactly where to touch.

Patrick opened his eyes. Looked down his body and watched David. David sitting between Patrick’s thighs, intent on what he was doing. One hand slowly pumping Patrick’s manhood. The other sliding more fingers into Patrick. Working him open. Readying Patrick’s body to receive him.

“I love you, David,” Patrick told him.

David looked up at him. Smiled that sweet smile that Patrick only ever saw when they were in bed together.

“I love you, too, Baby,” David said as he lifted the condom packet to his teeth and held on to it while he tore it open.

Patrick watched, perplexed, as David sat back and rolled the condom onto himself. Lubed himself.

For a moment he almost questioned it, then he thought better of it. A condom was fine, normal. Just not what he had expected. He didn’t want any of what was happening to stop. He didn’t want to argue.

He watched as David put a little more lube on Patrick’s cock. He rolled his head back, again. Shut his eyes.

Felt David’s fingers, one more time enter him. Felt David run his thumb over the sensitive head of his cock before his fist snugly ran down it, pumping him.

 _God_ , David knew what to do to make him feel good.

“Feels good, David,” He breathed out. “So good.”

David moved to position himself over Patrick.

David’s lips met Patrick’s again.

Patrick dropped his arms. One on the back of David’s head. One to David’s back. He increased the intensity of the kiss. One leg wrapped up and around David’s waist. Pulled him near while his hips rocked forward.

David shifted. Pressed his condom-covered cock slowly into Patrick. Waited at each step for that sweet little exhale sound that Patrick made as he accepted him. Watched Patrick’s face. Eyes shut. Lips slightly pursed as he exhaled.

David smiled at the face Patrick always made. He lowered himself over him. Patrick’s eyes opened. Locked on David.

David saw something there.  
  
“OK?” He asked Patrick. Brow furrowed.

Patrick nodded.

David slowly began to move. His hips pulling back; his cock pulling slightly out of Patrick. His hips pushing forward, pushing back into him. Slow and steady at first. He reached between them and began to pump Patrick’s cock.

“I got it,” Patrick said as his hand took over for David on his own cock.

He watched David’s face as David shifted. Both hands now on the mattress on either side of Patrick. He lowered himself closer to Patrick. Shut his eyes as his hips rolled in that sensual rhythm, pumping his cock into Patrick.

David kissed him. Patrick’s free hand moved to the back of David’s head. Held David to himself. Their kiss intensified. Lips parted. Tongues sucked. All while David’s hips moved. His cock moving into Patrick. Slowly. In. Out. In. Out.

As David’s movements began to quicken, he moved so that his face was buried in Patrick’s neck. Patrick listened to David’s labored breaths as he exhaled near Patrick’s ear.

Faster movements. Pushing hard against him.

Faster. Harder.

Quite grunts and moans passed between them and Patrick was soon very nearly there.

Feeling David’s lips on his neck, Patrick couldn’t hold back any longer. “Babe. Oh fuck.”

David felt him. Felt the muscles surrounding his cock. Felt his body stiffen under him. Felt the cum as it burst between them. And feeling Patrick there as he fell into his orgasm, David’s body immediately reacted and joined him.

David kept his face buried in Patrick’s neck as his hips jerked forward one more time; burying himself as deep as he could go into Patrick’s tight warmth.

Both men making sounds of pleasure. Both men murmuring words of love. Devotion. Satisfaction.

And then both men silent as their bodies stilled. As David’s body fell slack over Patrick. As Patrick’s legs tightened around David’s hips as he encouraged David to stay put… _just a little longer_. As David smiled into Patrick’s chest. As Patrick’s one, clean hand smoothed through David’s hair and down his back.

Both knowing there were things to discuss. Neither wanting to do it.

David eventually lifted himself off of, and out of, Patrick. Slid the condom off. Tied it off. He sat on the side of the bed.

David looked down at his chest. His abdomen. “I probably should shower. You were very… this is a lot of honey.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Patrick chuckled, not at all embarrassed. “I probably should, too. I’m not going to want to get up early tomorrow.”

He reached behind himself and patted Patrick’s knee. Then, David quietly stood and walked across the room, pausing only briefly to toss his condom in the trashcan by the desk.

“I love you,” he heard Patrick say behind him.

He paused only briefly before looking over his shoulder, “I know you do, Mr. Brewer.”

++++++

They lay together as they often did after David topped him. A vulnerable Patrick curled up under David’s arm. His head on David’s shoulder. Being held. Snug under the blankets. The fingers of his right hand absentmindedly drawing little shapes on David’s t-shirt covered chest.

“David,” Patrick needed to tell him what he was thinking. Vowing to himself to no longer hold in things that should be discussed.

“Mmm?” David, content, made the sound. He lay on his back. One arm around a toasty and naked Patrick, the other stretched out across the bed. Comfortable and warm in his pajamas, under the double blankets after a long hot shower. His body still spent from satisfying Patrick. Satisfying himself.

“I thought when… when we started that, we were going… or… we _weren’t_ going to use one.” Patrick moved his head a little. Tried to gauge David’s reaction. “A condom, I mean.” He added, in case he was not clear.

David lay still. His eyes still closed. Completely relaxed. “I know.”

“You did?”

“It’s what we originally talked about last week. End of the weekend.” David said. Then added, “When you got home from your parents’.”

“You didn’t want to.” Patrick told him, rather than asked him.

“HmMm.” David’s head moved slightly in a shake.

He moved then. Shifted up on his elbow as he lay beside David. He looked down at David’s face. David’s eyes were still closed.

He pressed his hand firmly against David’s chest.

“We took a step backward… this weekend, didn’t we?” He asked David.

David opened one eye and looked at Patrick. He reached up and cupped Patrick’s cheek with his hand. Paused briefly before saying, “I love you, Patrick. But… yes.”

Sadness. Guilt. They washed over Patrick.

He exhaled. “I’m sorry, David.”

David shook his head. His eyes shifted between Patrick’s eyes and his mouth, back to his eyes. “I’m not angry.”

“You’re upset, though,” Patrick pressed. “You have every right to be.”

David rolled then. Rolled away from him. Not to be away, but to be held. Spooned. He backed up into Patrick’s embrace. Held his arm slightly above his side in that way he did as he anticipated Patrick’s arm to slide under it. Slide around his body.

Patrick moved to him. Pulled his pillow under his head. Wrapped his arm around David. Bent his knees so that his thighs pressed firmly against the back of David’s.

“I can’t say that upset is the word, either.” David said quietly. His fingers brushed over Patrick’s forearms. “Just… not ready for no boundaries. Not yet. Give me some more time, Mr. Brewer.”

David meant it. In that moment, he wasn’t angry at Patrick. Wasn’t upset. Wasn’t really even disappointed in him. He just acknowledged the fact that Patrick had kept something very significant from him. And so long as he kept secrets, even a very personal one that David understood. Even one that he had every right to keep. As long as he did that, David couldn’t move forward with no barriers between them. Couldn’t trust that there would be 100% truth between the two of them.

And… for David… this was not a revelation. It was how he had lived over the past year. Loving Patrick. Trusting Patrick. But not giving himself fully to him. He almost had. He was _almost_ there.

But, not now. Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

Patrick knew that by calling him Mr. Brewer, his term of endearment, that he was trying to soften the blow of the news. Patrick knew to give him space. Knew not to push him about the condom issue. David would do what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it. And Patrick would be fine with whatever decision David made.

But there was another matter that had not yet been discussed.

Patrick pressed his lips to David’s shoulder. To the back of David’s neck.

“David.” He broke the silence.

“Hmm?”

“We need to talk about it.” Patrick pressed his forehead between David’s shoulder blades.

“About what?” David asked. As though he had no clue.

“Me keeping it from you.” Patrick said quietly.

“I’m so tired, Patrick. Let’s not ruin a beautiful day,” David’s voice was soft. Pleading.

“It was a good day,” Patrick agreed with him. Allowing his attention to be shifted away, for the moment, from the heavier topic. Allowed himself to push his guilt back into a corner for a little longer.

They were quiet. 

Patrick wondered if he was drifting off to sleep, when David spoke again.

“Patrick.”

“Hmmm?”

“I really like your parents. I mean… I _genuinely_ like them.” David said.

“That makes me happy.” Patrick squeezed his arm a little tighter around David.

“What do you suppose they think about…” David paused.

“I think they like you, too.” Patrick anticipated the question. Didn’t make David ask it.

David shifted. Rolled back a little so that he was partially on his back, partially rolled on his side against Patrick. He wanted to see Patrick’s face. “What makes you think so?”

“Well…” Patrick’s hand settled on David’s cheek. His thumb brushed over the stubble on his chin. “For starters, I think my mom hugged you more than she hugged me.”

David grinned. A large toothy grin. “She gives good hugs.”

Patrick leaned over. Kissed David’s forehead. “She does.”

“Your dad scared me a bit at first,” David told him. Reached for Patrick’s hand. Their fingers laced together.

“What happened?”

“I went to see them at the motel. He didn’t say anything for the longest time. He kept looking at me. I think at my clothes. At my rings.” David told him.

“Sorry about that. Did it make you uncomfortable?” Patrick asked him. His fingers brushing lightly through David’s hair.

David shook his head. “Not really.”

“He’s not quick to judge. But he takes his time. He thinks things through. Looks things over. Processes them in his brain.” Patrick said, by way of an explanation for his father’s behavior.

“Like father; like son.” David said. A teasing smirk on his face as his fingers poked Patrick’s chest.

Patrick smiled, “Maybe.”

“It’s OK. I understood what was happening.” David said. Then he added, “ _Why_ it was happening.”

“He told me he liked you. Then he told me he didn’t understand your clothes.” Patrick told him.

David shrugged his shoulders, “It’s a whole aesthetic. Not everyone gets it at first.”

Patrick lowered himself back down on his pillow. Rolled onto his back. Both of them lying on their backs. Holding hands between them. “I liked how you dressed from the first moment I saw you.”

“Well, of course you did. _We_ were meant to be.” David said mater-of-factly.

“Agreed.” Patrick told him. A grin on his face.

David rolled toward him. Snuggled against him. Rested his head on Patrick’s left shoulder. “You know… your dad’s a good-looking man.”

“You think so?”

“Empirically speaking, he’s handsome. If you look that good when you’re his age, I will be very happy.” David rubbed his hand in circles over Patrick’s chest.

“Wait.” Patrick, still facing the ceiling, lifted his right arm and settled his right hand under his head. “Does that mean you plan on being with me when I’m my dad’s age?”

“Now that I know you’ll likely age well…I suppose it’s a possibility.” David grinned. Pressed his forehead against Patrick’s side.

“Your dad’s quite debonair. Holds up well for a man his age.” Patrick said. “You certainly look like him.”

“There’s no denying those genes.” David said. Then added, “Let’s stop talking about our dads.”

“That’s probably safe.” Patrick chuckled.

David sighed. His arm moved from Patrick’s chest to wrap around his waist. Tugged him near. Draped one leg over Patrick’s legs.

Patrick broke the silence. “So… what do you think the kids in town are going to think of us… when we’re old and grey, running the Apothecary.”

“M’Kay. You may choose to go grey? But they make hair dye for a reason.” David said.

Patrick smiled, “Do you think they’ll think we’re nice old men? Or will they be scared of us?”

“My god. Why would they be scared of us?” David leaned up on his elbow and looked down at Patrick.

Patrick chuckled. “Well… I mean you’ll be like a 70-year-old man with jet black hair walking around in some outfit with a giant gold lamé bow on it. And I will have likely taken over Ray’s role as town businessman and my wrinkled, old face will be on all the park benches with my teeth blackened out.”

David paused before speaking. Then, very seriously said, “Yeah, that tracks. They’ll be afraid of us.” Then he grinned and rested his head back on Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick laughed, “I love you, Babe.”

“I love you, too, Mr. Brewer.” David said.  
  
Then David rolled over. Rolled away from him. Knowing that Patrick would roll with him.

“We’ve got to do something about that, now that I know him.” David said.

“I’m not following.” Patrick sat up. Waited for David to get settled.

“I either have to stop calling you that, or stop calling your dad that. Because… I just can’t.” David said over his shoulder.

Patrick snuggled up against David’s back. The big spoon. Arm around David, again. Knees pulled up a bit so his thighs pressed firmly against the back of David’s.

“Give him a little more time. He’ll offer his first name to you.” Patrick said.

“Well… if he knew how much it was fucking with my brain during sex, he might move a little faster on that.” David teased.

“Let’s just keep that to ourselves.” Patrick responded.

“Whatever you say,” David grinned into the darkness. Happy. Content in the arms of Patrick.

They were quiet as they settled in.

“Busy week ahead,” David said.

“Yup. Stevie and I start with Derek tomorrow.” Patrick told him.

“What do you need from me?” David asked. Knowing. Already knowing.

“Keep your mom busy?” Patrick asked him. Kissed his shoulder. “Please?”

“The things I do for you.” David teased him.

“So many things.” Patrick yawned. Pressed his forehead against David’s back.

They were quiet. David felt Patrick’s breathing grow steady behind him. Felt his arm loosen its grip.

Wondered… if knowing everything he knew… if given a chance to do it all again, if he’d have planned the surprise party. Or if it would have been better to let Patrick go to his parents’ home and tell them as he had planned – without David being the wiser.

Just then Patrick stirred behind him.

David turned his head.

Patrick leaned forward. Kissed David near his ear.

“You do a lot for me, David. All the time. But… this weekend… David you gave me the best birthday I ever could have dreamed of. Thank you, David.”

David rested his head back on his pillow. Smiled into it. “You’re welcome, Mr. Brewer.” David reached back and patted his hand on Patrick’s bare ass.

And David knew. Knew that even though they still had to talk through it, in the end, it was the right thing. Though the party that was intended to only surprise Patrick ended up surprising the whole lot of them, it was a good outcome. David’s heart swelled knowing that he helped make it happen. Patrick was free of the weight he’d been carrying. He was able to spend time with his parents. And David was able to meet them.

And Patrick knew. Knew that even though he owed David an explanation and more apologies for holding the information, he knew that that David would forgive him. That night, not for the first time, David talked with him about their future. And, not in terms of a few months or a year down the road. He talked in terms of decades. Patrick’s heart swelled as he thought of the four gold rings setting in a box, buried beneath some old baseball jerseys, in the back of his closet.

 _I’m going to propose to him._ Patrick thought.

_I’m going to make him my husband._

_I’m going to give my prince a happy ending._

+++

End Part 6 of 6  
+++


	33. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick have a busy week between Patrick's surprise birthday party weekend and the next weekend (when they plan to go visit Patrick's parents). During this week, Patrick and Stevie work on their dance routine for Cabaret and they have some serous conversations. Patrick visit with Terri. And David is forced to spend too much time with his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place prior to 5.12 and it ends just as 5.12 begins. (Note: There is no other chapter for 5.12 - this is how I chose to deal with that episode). 
> 
> +++  
> *****TRIGGER WARNING*****  
> ***BODY ISSUES DISCUSSED***  
> It is never EVER my intention to body shame. And if you know me at all, you know I adore Noah (thus Patrick) with every ounce of my being. To me, he is absolutely perfect. I have something in this chapter that some may view as body shaming, though I hope they do not. I hope they see it for what it was meant to be. I will leave this warning as that. If I disappoint you in how I handle it, I ask your forgiveness. It was how I thought best to handle the situation. You’ll know it when you see it in a conversation that David has with his mother.  
> ****END TRIGGER WARNING****
> 
> +++
> 
> Hope you are all well. As we near the Thanksgiving Holiday here in America, I hope you are safe. Please take every possible precaution. 
> 
> Be well. 
> 
> \- PD
> 
> +++

++++++

“Uumphh,” Stevie made the noise as she fell to the floor. Her hands breaking her fall so that her face didn’t hit it first.

“Stevie. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Patrick fell to his knees beside her. His hand resting on her back. “God, I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK,” She told him as she quickly got up onto her feet, leaving him on the floor. She walked across the room to get her water bottle. Took a swig. Leaned against the wall. Got her bearings.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do the lift,” he told her.

“You can do the lift,” Derek said. “You just have to trust each other.”

They spoke at the same time.

“I trust her,” Patrick said. He held his hand out toward Stevie.

“I trust him,” Stevie said. She held her hand out toward Patrick.

“See?” Patrick said to Derek.

Derek shook his head unconvinced. He’d done this long enough to know what he was seeing.

He rolled his hand in a circular motion in the direction of the piano player that they’d convinced to stay after rehearsal. The guy that they begged to not tell Mrs. Rose that they were rehearsing. The guy that Patrick had slid an envelope of cash to, in order to pay him for his extra hours of work… and his silence.

His hands moved over the keyboard again and the music started. Patrick stood. Nodded at Stevie. She took another swig of her water. Set her bottle down and walked, determinedly back to Patrick.

 _Money… Money_ _  
Money money money money  
Money money money money  
Money money money_

++++++

David sat with his mother in her room. They settled down at her table to talk costumes. David knew he could take his time. David knew he _needed_ to take his time. Because his job for the next… however many evenings… was to keep her occupied so that she would not go back to the Town Hall and find them.

The first order of business was to discuss how Patrick’s costume was coming along. It was nearly complete.

He reported to her that the elastic strapped contraption he had constructed was complete, thanks to some extra coaching from Gwen. David was quite proud of his creation, if he did say so himself. And he did. Say so himself.

He also reported that the boots were good. Just the right look. Aged to perfection. The knee stockings and sock garters seemed to look good.

“I’ve had my eye on a jacket. With tails. See… here.” David showed her a screen shot he’d taken of the used tuxedo jacket he found on a second-hand clothing site. “I’ve ordered it. Should be here any day.” He’d talked quickly. Hoping he’d get it by her.

“David. No.” Moira shook her head and wagged her finger. “ _Ab-so-lute-ly_ not.”

“Why not?” He shrugged. Shook his head. Even though he knew she’d balk at it.

“Oh, David. A shirtless Emcee with a jacket would feel very tasteless. Cheap,” She told him as she sipped on her tea. “A bit… 1980’s Chippendale.”

“He won’t be shirtless,” David told her.

“Well, _now_ you’re just talking _madness_.” She shook her head and furrowed her brow.

“He’s not comfortable going shirtless, and I support him in not being so,” David started his argument there. Hoping it would matter to her what Patrick wanted.

“David, that is _absurd_ ,” Moira objected. “And what, _pray-tell_ , do we do if the Kit Kat Dancers take exception to flaunting their bodies? The Kit Kat Klub is a place of _decadent celebration_. There must be skin shown!”

She had a point. He knew it.

And he’d planned for her to have this argument. He was ready.

“But we are taking precautions to have the proper undergarments for them so they don’t… unnecessarily…. show… nippleage.” His face showed his distaste as he uttered the word. “And you have to acknowledge we’ve… toned down… the look a bit from some of the choices on Broadway.”

“He goes shirtless.” She was adamant. “This is not up for debate, David.”

David paused. Looked up at the ceiling. He was going to have to go there. Plan B. He didn’t want to. But it was the only way he’d get her to agree.

“M’Kay,” David said. Knowing this was going to be the one battle he’d have with her on which he would not budge. Patrick did not want to go shirtless. “Hear me out on this.”

“Hear you out on what?” She asked. She squinted her eyes and looked at him with a skeptical glare.

“You will never repeat this conversation to another soul,” David said to her.

Moira’s eyes grew large. A smile crossed her face, assuming she was about to hear a bit of salacious gossip.

David stood and peered through the doorway to his room to make sure his sister had not yet returned from Ted’s. The room was empty, yet he closed the door between the two rooms and locked it anyway. To be safe, he checked his parents’ bathroom and pulled that door closed as well.

He sat back down, next to his mother.

“David, you have piqued my inquisitive _nature_.” She told him.

“If this goes anywhere, I will know that you did not keep it between us.” He held up a finger. “And I will _never_ forgive you.” Then for good measure he added, “Do you hear me? _NEVER_.”

Eyes large, she mimed zipping and locking her lips. Tossing the key over her shoulder. And her fingers made an X over her heart.

Her body palpated with anticipation. It was not often, anymore, that her son provided her with his undivided attention. Moreover, she seldom knew anything about him that didn’t come via Alexis or the general rumor mill that was Jocelyn, Roland, or Robert.

“I love him,” David locked eyes with her.

“I know that,” She shrugged and looked around the room as though someone would be there to agree with her that he was stating the annoyingly obvious.

“He works out very hard. Nearly every day,” David said.

“To which I have no doubt,” Moira said.

“And, to me, he is perfect in every way,” David said.

“I will take your word for that,” She leaned forward.

“I have three photos to show you,” David said.

They leaned close together. David pulled up the photos on his phone.

In all three photos, Patrick had on the black shorts that David had painstakingly pinned to perfection and Gwen hand hemmed on her machine. They were the perfect length to show his cute little knees and hint at the remarkably sexy muscled thighs above them. 

He had on his scuffed, lace-up boots, he had on the thin, hosiery-type knee socks, the sock garters. He had on the elastic strap contraption with the little black bow and buttons sewn on it that David had created.

In the first photo he wore a white tank-top under the straps.

“Here’s the first one,” David told her.

“I don’t like the tank top. It’s not in keeping with the vision we discussed,” She told him flatly, dismissing the photo.

“Please hold your comments until you’ve seen all three photos,” David said.

He hesitated before running his finger along his phone to flip to the second photo. He took a deep breath. Held it.

He loved Patrick. With all his heart. His body did things to David that no other body had done. He could spend hours, and he had, worshiping Patrick’s perfect body. He had no complaints about Patrick’s body. Zero. But he also knew his mother’s critical eye. He knew what needed to be done to get his mother on board with what would make Patrick comfortable on stage.

As the second photo came to the screen of his phone, David turned the phone toward his mother.

Patrick, wearing no shirt under the strappy contraption. Same shorts. Same socks. Same boots.

She nodded. “I see,” She said.

“What’s the third photo?” She asked.

“Third photo… I just took my tuxedo jacket and had him try it on over the outfit he’s wearing in the first photo. Over the tank. See what the color blocking would do to break up the… lines. It’s a little snug, but it gives you the idea.” David said.

He flipped to the third photo. Patrick wore the jacket of the tuxedo that David had worn when the two of them had gone to the fundraiser for The AIDS Center over the holidays.

Just then, the door to their room opened and Johnny walked in. David put his phone in his lap. “Moira, I need to run to Elmdale, would you like to go along? Oh. Hi, David. Am I interrupting?”

Moira stood. “Not at all, Mr. Rose. And, yes! I need to pick up some things at the office supply store, so I will ride along with you.”

David watched his mother as she moved to apply a fresh coat of lipstick and fuss with her hair. When she walked by him, she paused and looked over her shoulder at him.

“I’m glad you’ve ordered the jacket. It will look wonderful over that tank top.” She told David.

She held her finger to her lips to let him know she would be keeping their secret and then she turned and left the room with Johnny.

David sat perfectly still and watched her leave. He turned and looked at the door to his room and let out a mouthful of pent-up breath.

++++++

When his phone vibrated, David pulled it from his night stand.

_Mr. Brewer (10:01 pm):_

‘I’m in.’

_You (10:01 pm):_

‘Just now? My god.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:01 pm):_

‘No. Took a shower. Ate.’

‘Waited to text until I was in bed.;

_You (10:01 pm):_

‘How did tonight go?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:02 pm):_

‘Not great. We have a lot of work to do.’

‘I keep dropping her.’

_You (10:02 pm):_

‘Bet she’s not happy about that.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:02 pm):_

‘How was therapy?’

_You (10:02 pm):_

‘Fine.

_Mr. Brewer (10:02 pm):_

‘Anything we need to talk about?’

‘My making a mess of the condom thing?’

_You (10:03 pm):_

‘Not tonight, please.’

‘How was Alexis this afternoon?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:03 pm):_

‘She was great. Remembered everything about closing up shop. Did well with a couple of the sales we had.’

_You (10:03 pm):_

‘Good.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:03 pm):_

‘She’s coming in on Wednesday again.’

_You (10:03 pm):_

‘I’ll be sure to stay away.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:04 pm):_

‘How was your mom tonight?’

_You (10:04 pm):_

‘Fine.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:04 pm):_

‘What did you work on?’

_You (10:04 pm):_

‘Your costume.’ *Heart eyes emoji* *Eggplant emoji*

_Mr. Brewer (10:04 pm):_

‘lol’

‘Anything I need to worry about?’

_You (10:05 pm):_

‘Not a thing. She likes what we’ve created.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:05 pm):_

‘That’s a relief.’

_You (10:05 pm):_

*Red heart emoji*

‘I think we both get to spend the day together at the store tomorrow.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:05 pm):_

‘Yup’

_You (10:05 pm):_

‘Only day all week?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:06 pm):_

‘Maybe’

_You (10:06 pm):_

‘Take me to lunch on a proper date?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:06 pm):_

‘Anything you want.’

_You (10:06 pm):_

‘Still on for a road trip at the end of the week?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:07pm):_

‘I’m planning on it.’

‘Talked with Mom today.’

_You (10:07 pm):_

‘About?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:07 pm):_

‘She wants to have a family BBQ’

_You (10:07 pm):_

‘How big is your family?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:07 pm):_

‘Big. But since it’s late notice not everyone would be there, probably.’

_You (10:08 pm):_

‘How big is big?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:08 pm):_

‘Not sure. Maybe 40 or so? If you count all the kids?’

‘Probably 20-25 will be there.’

_You (10:08 pm):_

*Shocked eyes emoji*

_Mr. Brewer (10:08 pm):_

‘I can tell her no on the BBQ’

_You (10:08pm):_

‘I don’t want to tell your mom no.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:09 pm):_

‘You up for meeting that many people?’

_You (10:09 pm):_

‘I suppose I am going to need to meet them at some point.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:09 pm):_

*Thumbs up emoji* *Blue heart emoji* *Face with heart eyes emoji* *Face with three hearts emoji* *Face throwing a kiss emoji*

_You (10:09 pm):_

‘OK that’s enough’

_Mr. Brewer (10:09 pm):_

‘You up to meeting people other than family?’

_You (10:10 pm):_

‘Like who?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:10 pm):_

‘I thought about getting together with a small group of friends.’

_You (10:10 pm):_

‘OK.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:10 pm):_

‘Would you be OK if Rachel was there?’

_You (10:10 pm):_

‘If that’s what you want.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:11 pm):_

‘Haven’t been home in a long time. Probably need to tell them about you.’

_You (10:11 pm):_

‘You’re just ripping off the whole Band Aid, aren’t you?’

_Mr. Brewer (10:11 pm):_

*Winking face emoji* ‘Basically’

‘You’re being very accommodating.’

‘Thank you’

_You (10:11 pm):_

‘Whatever you want to do’

‘I’m just looking forward to being with you for all those hours in the car.’

‘I love a good road trip!’

_Mr. Brewer (10:11 pm):_

‘Same’

_You (10:12 pm):_

‘The week hasn’t even started and I miss you already’

_Mr. Brewer (10:12 pm):_

‘Busy one’

_You (10:12 pm):_

‘Go get some sleep’

_Mr. Brewer (10:12 pm):_

‘Good night.’

‘Love you’

_You (10:12 pm):_

‘hey, Mr. Brewer.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:13 pm):_

‘yeah?’

_You (10:13 pm):_

‘Don’t stay up too late talking to Rachel.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:13 pm):_

‘You know me well.’

_You (10:13 pm):_

‘Of course I do.’

_Mr. Brewer (10:13 pm):_

‘Good night, David.’

_You (10:14 pm):_

‘Good night, Patrick.’

++++++

Patrick shot her a text on the off chance that she’d be up.

_You (10:15 pm):_

‘Hey Rachel. I know it’s late. Just wanted to tell you I’m going to be home this coming weekend.’

He knew it may be too late to text, but if he knew her, she was still up. He rolled over on his side. Checked on his social media.

Before long he heard from her.

  
_Rachel (10:17 pm):_

‘Hey stranger.’

_You (10:17 pm):_

‘How’ve you been?’

_Rachel (10:17 pm):_

‘Good. You?’

_You (10:18 pm):_

‘Pretty good.’

‘Told my parents’

_Rachel (10:18 pm):_

*Sparkling heart emoji* ‘Good! How’d they take it?’

_You (10:18 pm):_

‘Very supportive.’

‘they invited us up for the weekend’

_Rachel (10:18 pm):_

‘Both of you will be here?’

_You (10:18 pm):_

‘Yeah.’

_Rachel (10:19 pm):_

‘You wanting to introduce him to the group?’

_You (10:19 pm):_

‘Thinking about it.’

_Rachel (10:19 pm):_

‘Want to get together at the cabin?’

_You (10:19 pm):_

‘How do you feel about that?’

_Rachel (10:19 pm):_

*Person shrugging emoji*

‘How do YOU feel about that?’

‘Maybe more importantly, how does he feel about it?’

_You (10:20 pm):_

‘He’s leaving that decision to me.’

‘I want to come out to them and introduce him.’

‘They’re the last ones. I want to tell them.’

_Rachel (10:20 pm):_

‘OK.’

_You (10:20 pm):_

‘Did you already tell them?’

_Rachel (10:20 pm):_

‘Zach knows, of course.’

‘We haven’t told anyone else.’

_You (10:20 pm):_

‘OK.’

_Rachel (10:21 pm):_

‘Saturday night?’

‘Pizza & beer? Firepit?’

_You (10:21 pm):_

‘Might have to move it inside if it’s too buggy.’

_Rachel (10:21 pm):_

‘Too buggy?’

‘What’s going on with you?’

_You (10:21 pm):_

‘He doesn’t like bugs.’

_Rachel (10:21 pm):_

‘Got it.’

_You (10:22 pm):_

‘Rachel?’

_Rachel (10:22 pm):_

‘?’

_You (10:22 pm):_

‘You sure this is OK? I don’t want to force you.’

_Rachel (10:22 pm):_

‘I’m good. I think it’s good.’

_You (10:22 pm):_

‘You sure?’

_Rachel (10:23 pm):_

‘Yeah. Let’s introduce him.’

‘Get you out of the closet.’

*Winking face emoji*

_You (10:23 pm):_

‘How’s everything with you?’

_Rachel (10:23 pm):_

‘We’re fine.’

_You (10:23 pm):_

‘We?’

_Rachel (10:23 pm):_

‘Patrick. Me and Zach. You know this.’

_You (10:24 pm):_

‘Teasing. Yes I know.’

_Rachel (10:24 pm):_

‘He said he’s looking forward to seeing you.’

_You (10:24 pm):_

‘You texting him?’

_Rachel (10:24 pm):_

‘Patrick. We’re in bed.’

_You (10:24 pm):_

‘Oh. Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.’

‘I’ll let you go.’

_Rachel (10:25 pm):_

‘I’ll text you some details about Saturday.’

‘Let me confirm with my folks that the cabin is free.’

_You (10:25 pm):_

‘Thanks Rach.’

‘Tell Zach I’m looking forward to seeing him.’

_Rachel (10:25 pm):_

‘OK.’

_You (10:25 pm):_

‘Night.’

_Rachel (10:26 pm):_

‘Good night Patrick.’

Patrick rolled over. Thought about the guy who he’d always thought of as his best friend. Thought about his former fiancé. He didn’t think of them together often. At least not anymore.

His stomach did a flip-flop as he thought about taking David into that group. He pondered why he hadn’t kept in touch with them. They’d all been friends since high school. When they were in college they would come back together as though no time had passed.

After college, they came together occasionally. Most had moved back near home. Worked in the community. Some of them married. One of the couples even had a kid, now.

Patrick wondered if he hadn’t stayed in touch with them because he wanted to leave them behind? Or was it because he didn’t want to come out to any of them before he told his parents. He wasn’t quite sure what the answer was. Honestly, the reasoning didn’t matter. He just knew it was time.

He thought they’d be OK with it all. Pretty sure they’d be fine with him being gay. He wondered if they weren’t OK with it, would he really care? Ultimately, it seemed like a step he needed to take, introducing David. Because if they were going to be in his life at all, they needed to know David. He needed to know them.

His phone vibrated. He checked it.

_Boyfriend (10:41pm):_

‘Still talking?’

Patrick smiled. He knew David would be up wondering.

_You (10:41 pm):_

‘No. We’re done.’

_Boyfriend (10:41 pm):_

‘Update?’

_You (10:42 pm):_

‘Saturday night? Pizza and Beer with the gang?’

_Boyfriend (10:42 pm):_

‘How many is in a gang?’

_You (10:42 pm):_

‘There’s maybe 10? But on short notice probably not that many.’

_Boyfriend (10:42 pm):_

‘Couples?’

_You (10:42 pm):_

‘Some. Not sure who all is still coupled.’

_Boyfriend (10:43 pm):_

‘OK.’

_You (10:43 pm):_

‘If it’s too much, we don’t have to.’

_Boyfriend (10:43 pm):_

‘Get it all over with in one weekend.’

_You (10:43 pm):_

‘I want everyone to meet you, David.’

_Boyfriend (10:43 pm):_

‘Then I will meet them’

‘I want to know who your friends are.’

_You (10:43 pm):_

‘Not sure they’re still my friends.’

_Boyfriend (10:44 pm):_

‘They’re still your friends, Patrick.’

_You (10:44 pm):_

‘I love you’

_Boyfriend (10:44 pm):_

‘Same’

_You (10:44 pm):_

‘You tired?’

_Boyfriend (10:44 pm):_

‘Yes.’

_You (10:44 pm):_

‘Get some sleep’

_Boyfriend (10:45 pm):_

‘See you tomorrow.’

_You (10:45 pm):_

‘Sleep late. I’ve got the store in the morning.’

_Boyfriend (10:45 pm):_

‘That wasn’t in question. I’ll be in around 10.’

_You (10:45 pm):_

‘Sounds good.’

_Boyfriend (10:45 pm):_

*Face throwing a kiss emoji*

_You (10:45 pm):_

*Blue heart emoji*

++++++

They needed the Body Milk. They needed it badly. They’d been out for over a week and not only did they need it for in-store sales, but the online orders had backed up. It was their number one seller online.

“We have to go get it,” David told him as they worked in the store on Tuesday morning. “There’s no way around it.”

“David, what are we going to do when the baby comes. Amy all but said she didn’t plan to make any product for a few weeks after.” Patrick reminded him.

“I know.” David, standing atop the step-ladder as he dusted the top of the shelving unit, shook his head.

“Been thinking about somethin’ and want to run it by you.” Patrick said.

He backed up to the counter that held the register. He hopped up on it. Sat there. Watched David. He’d been thinking on the matter quite a bit and was hesitant to bring it up. Didn’t want to upset David. Didn’t want to upset Terri and Amy. But, it was time to discuss his concerns.

David, feeling that Patrick was about to lay down something pretty important, backed off the ladder. Set the feather duster down. Walked over to stand in front of Patrick.

Hands on his hips, he said seriously, “Tell me.”

It was easy for Patrick to talk business with David. This was David’s baby. The thing he was most proud of in his life. So, when Patrick had something to say regarding it, he always had David’s undivided attention.

“We can’t keep carrying a product that we continually run out of.” Patrick’s voice was serious. His eyes locked on David’s. “It’s not good business.”

“Agree,” David nodded solemnly. His eyes on Patrick. When they talked business, Patrick was practical. Serious. And a problem-solver. David trusted him implicitly. “What are you thinking?”

“Been thinking about our business model,” Patrick said. His eyes shifted as he looked outside. Looked through the front window of the store. Paused, then added slowly, “Been reading on it.” Patrick nodded. His hands reached between his knees and beat the front of the counter like a drum.

“For fuck’s sake, Patrick!” David interjected. “Spit it out.”

He loved him. He really did. But when Patrick became so… cerebral… that it took him forever to say what was on his mind, it drove David Crazy. _Fucking. Crazy._

Patrick looked at David. His voice defensive, “You don’t have to yell.”

“You don’t have to talk at a fucking snail’s pace when you’re talking to me about business. I’m intelligent. I can follow.” David bit back.

“I’m not talking slow because I don’t think you can’t…” Patrick stopped.

There was no reason to argue and he knew it. He took a breath. Pulled one leg up under himself. One leg dangling off the counter.

Patrick started again. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking once I say what I’m going to say, I can’t unsay it.”

“Patrick… just…”

Patrick cut him off. “Been thinking through some stuff I’ve read and I thought about the problem we’ve been having with getting enough inventory.”

David shook his head. Reminded himself that he loved the man. He just wished he’d talk a little faster. David shrugged, “What did you come up with?”

“More people making it.” Patrick said simply.

David became still. Looked at Patrick.

Patrick looked at him.

“You mean… like ask Amy to hire people to make it while she’s on maternity leave?” He asked. Not following.

“No. Like have multiple farmers around the area making it for us.” Patrick said.

“But it’s Amy’s recipe. Amy makes it.” David squinted his eyes. Tried to wrap his brain around what Patrick was saying.

“What if we bought the recipe from her?” Patrick asked. Then added, “Contract with multiple people to make it for us.”

“Is that…” David crossed his arms over his chest and looked out the front window. Then he looked at Patrick, “Can we do that?”

“What do you mean by that? What are you asking me?” Patrick asked him.

“I don’t know what I’m asking. Tell me more of what you mean?” David walked nearer Patrick. Put his hand on Patrick’s knee. Looked up at him.

“Our business model from the start was that the costs incurred on all of these products,” Patrick held up his hand and motioned to the store in general, “the cost incurred was by the venders. Then we sold the product at an agreed upon price and gave them their cut and we kept our cut.”

“Right,” David nodded. His brow furrowed as he listened to Patrick. He knew this. He was the one with the original idea. It meant almost no upstart costs when it came to product and virtually no risk of loss on his part when he started, because the initial investment in cost was on the shoulders of the venders.

Patrick continued, “But there are models out there of the store paying people a set price to make a product. The store sets the price and can adjust it however… whenever they want. Any profit would belong to the store. If the product is a high seller, the store makes a better profit in the long run. If the product tanks, the store eats the cost.”

“In the model I had for the store… _we have_ had for the store… if the product tanks the vender eats the cost.” David clarified. Knowing he was stating the obvious. But verbalizing for Patrick that he was tracking.

“Yup,” Patrick nodded.

“And Body Milk isn’t tanking,” David said.

“Every month, there’s been an increased demand. And, David, we’ve limited it on the website because she’d never be able to keep up with what we thought sales might be. If we had that offered more often, instead of those occasional... special times you’ve posted it? If we had an unlimited supply… that stuff would…”

“Fly off the shelves,” David finished his sentence.

“Yuuup.” Patrick said slowly. Nodded. “In theory, of course. We’d have to be sure not to make so much available that there was no longer a demand for it. But yeah.”

“That would be a game changer around here.” David said.

“All my calculations show that we do more business online than we do in the store… on all of our products that we sell there. With the exception of holiday time and the occasional weekend when we have events.” Patrick said.

“Our out-of-town customers who make a day of it,” David nodded, agreeing with him.

“Yup.” Patrick said. Then added, “And our number one seller in store is…”

David cut him off, “The Body Milk.”

“And if we opened up how much was available online…”

David cut him off again, “We’d sell the fuck out of it.”

“I believe we would,” Patrick nodded.

David took a deep breath. Exhaled. Leaned his elbows on the counter beside where Patrick sat. Looked up at their business license. Leaned toward Patrick. Pressed his shoulder against Patrick’s side.

Patrick draped an arm over David’s shoulder and let his hand rest on David’s back. He patted his back as they both became lost in thought.

“How do we do that?” David shrugged, “Just offer her money?”

“I mean… I think so?” Patrick said.

“Would it offender her? I don’t want to ruin that relationship.” David said.

“We’d have to be very wise about how we approached them,” Patrick nodded. “Make them an offer that isn’t insulting.”

“She takes a lot of pride in that product,” David told him.

“I know. She could… if she wanted… she could still make it for us. We could pay her to be one of the venders who made it.” Patrick told him. “We’d just own it. So we could have several people producing for us.”

“We’d have to keep an eye on quality,” David said. He pulled part of his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down. His eyes still on the business license.

Patrick nodded. “We’d need a plan for quality control.”

“They could submit a sample size with each batch. I could test it. I’d know what to look for,” David said.

“I know you would,” Patrick smiled at him. He liked to watch David’s wheels turn when he was problem solving.

“Can we afford it?” David asked. “I don’t want to… Patrick…” David couldn’t bring himself to express the fear that suddenly, inexplicably exploded in his chest as he thought about the money it would take.

Patrick, knowing that David would likely fear the discussion about the money, slowly moved his hand to David’s shoulder. “Look at me, David.”

Patrick waited. David stayed leaned over the counter for a moment. Eventually he stood. Looked up at Patrick. Their eyes met.

Patrick took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Modeling for David that he wanted him to take a breath.

David blew out a mouth-full of air.

Patrick slowly began to talk. “I wouldn’t bring this up to you if I didn’t think we had the money. But before we acted on it, I’d show you all of it. We’ll go through our accounts.”

David shook his head, “But, I don’t have that much. I’ve given it to the…”

Patrick cut him off. “I know what you do with your paycheck; you’re very generous with that. I’m not talking about _your_ money.”

David backed away from him. Shook his head. His hands flying. “No. No, no, no. We aren’t using your money.” He walked across the store. Away from Patrick.

“No, I’m not…” Patrick slid off the counter. Feet on the floor. He walked to where David had moved, to the back corner of the store. “David. Stop.”

David turned around. The fingers of his left hand worried the rings on his right. He wanted to leave. The feeling in his chest was causing his breath to come in shallow, quick gasps.

“OK. You need to breathe. You’re … just breathe.” Patrick took a big deep breath again. Modeling for David what he needed to do.

David took a deep breath. Held it. Let it out.

He took another. Held it. Let it out.

While he continued to breathe, Patrick began to talk. “Listen, we have money. I’m not talking about my money. Or your money. I’m talking about _our_ money. The store’s money. You’ve seen it. You see it every month when we go over the books. This isn’t news to you, David.”

David nodded. Exhaled long and slow.  
  
Took another deep breath.

“Every month it builds.” Patrick told him, “We can figure out how much we can spend of that to make an offer to Amy. If it isn’t enough, we can talk about getting a small business loan.”

“What about a grant? Why can’t you write a grant?” David asked.

Patrick shook his head. “I’ve looked for one. For this… I am just not finding one. But I can look harder. I can talk to Ray, see if he knows of one. Maybe Ken. I just… I didn’t see one.”

“Why a…” David cleared his throat. “Why a loan? I don’t like the idea of borrowing.”

“I know you’ve done this without loans, David. And, that money that Wendy gave you, that was so smart of you to use it. But loans aren’t bad. Well-thought-out, well-planned loans. With the right profit, it would be easy to pay it back.” Patrick told him. “And… with rates what they are right now, it might be smarter to just get a loan for the full amount and leave our accounts making the interest they are. Not use any of our savings.”

Patrick watched him. David was clearly uncomfortable. It wasn’t sitting well with him. He was struggling to keep a panic attack at bay.

“How about this. We just sit with it for a while. Think on it.” Patrick reached out for David’s hand.

David willingly gave it to him. Squeezed Patrick’s hand. Nodded. David echoed him, “Think on it.”

“Talk more later. When it’s not so new in your brain.” Patrick nodded.

“Yup. Yup.” David pressed his lips together. Nodded.

“We can lay out the numbers. The sales figures. The finances.” Patrick told him.

“Yeah. I’m gonna…” David indicated with his thumb that he was going to go to the restroom.

“You all right?” Patrick asked him.

David’s lips still pressed together, nodded. “Mmhmm. Mmhmm,” as he turned and went into the restroom shutting the door behind him.

Patrick stood outside of the room and heard David begin to vomit.

++++++

They sat together on the bench outside of Town Hall. Both looking in the same direction. Watching the kids play in the field across the street. Both having left the building with Mrs. Rose and Jocelyn after rehearsal. Both waiting for Derek and their evening appointment with him.

Sipping water. Sharing the grapes that Stevie had packed for their snack.

“Hey, Stevie?” He decided to broach the subject. He took a deep breath.

“Hmm?” She made a sound around a mouth full of grapes.

“You know how Derek said we need to do things to build trust with one another?” Patrick asked.

She swallowed. Looked out the side of her eye at him. Suspicious. Always suspicious. “Yeahhh.”

Patrick cleared his throat. “There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

“OhhhhKay.” She said, hesitantly.

“I’m gonna ask you to keep it between us,” Patrick said.

“You mean, like, not tell Mrs. Rose?” She clarified.

“No. No.” He shook his head. “I mean… yeah… not tell her. But not tell anyone.”

Stevie cocked her head. Squinted her eyes. “Does that include David?”

“Yup. Especially him.” Patrick nodded.

She immediately began to shake her head. Stood. “No. I’m not keeping anything from him. Don’t tell me.”

“No, Stevie. Listen.” Patrick stood.

She turned to look at him. Put her hand up between them to indicate he needed to stop. “Patrick. No. I’m not getting all into that with you. I know you had some shit you kept from him.” She started to walk away, “I’m not…”

He cut her off. Reached out to grab her arm to keep her from walking away, but he wasn’t fast enough. She was several feet away from him, walking at a clipped pace.

“Stevie, I want to propose to him!” He blurted out.

She stopped in her tracks. Turned immediately. Looked at him.

Patrick stood. Hands at his side. Shrugged his shoulders.

She walked back toward him. Stopped when she stood less than a foot from him.

“Say that again?” She asked.

“I want to marry him. I want to ask him to marry me.” Patrick told her on an exhale that sounded like a laugh. It felt good. It felt so good to tell her. She was David’s best friend.

“Marry him.” She said. Voice flat. Face expressionless.

“Yeah.” Patrick nodded. Kept an eye on her face. Wondered where her excitement was.

“You’re telling me so that I’ll trust you. So I won’t keep making you drop me in the dance number.” She said. Her voice dead-pan. She was giving him a hard time. She knew it. But she didn’t want him to see her feelings on this one. Not yet. She hadn’t had a chance to modulate them.

“No. No,” Patrick shook his head. “I’m telling you because I want… I’m telling you, Stevie… because I want your… I don’t know. Your blessing? Your approval?”

“Have you talked to his parents? Alexis?” She asked him.

“Come on, Stevie.” Patrick shrugged.

She waved a hand in front of herself. “Stupid question. Sorry.”

“I bought some rings. A while ago. I’ve wanted to propose for a while, now.” He told her.

Stevie fiddled with the hem of her shirt. Sat back down on the bench. Patrick joined her.

“Why haven’t you done it before now, then?” She asked him.

“I needed to wait until I talked to my parents.” Patrick told her.

“You told your parents?” She asked. “What did they say?”

“No. I didn’t. I mean… I wanted to wait to ask him until I… came out… to my parents. And, now that I’ve done that…” Patrick paused. Then added, “Just seems like I’m ready.”

Stevie nodded. Took a sip of her water.

They watched Derek pull into the parking area.

“Hey you two!” Derek called as he got out of his car. He headed for the building.

“Be just a minute!” Patrick called to him.

Derek went into Town Hall. Patrick turned back to Stevie.

He waited.

She looked at him and shrugged.

“Well?” He asked her.

“What do you want me to say?” She asked him. Bent to pick up her bag and her water. Stood.

“I don’t know. I guess… that you’re OK with it?” Patrick looked up at her.

“Why do I have to be OK with it? You’re not proposing to me.” She told Patrick as she moved to walk away.

“Stevie!” Patrick’s voice expressed his frustration.

She turned to look at him. “Do whatever you want. You’re a grown man.”

Then she turned to go into Town Hall.

++++++

_That clinking, clanking, clunking sound,_   
_Is all that makes the world go 'round,_   
_It makes the world go 'round!_

“Fuck! Goddamn it, Patrick!” Stevie yelled as she fell to the floor.

“Sorry.” He mumbled.

He reached a hand down to help her up and she swatted it away.

Derek bent down and held out a hand. Stevie took it and he helped her up.

“Stevie,” Derek said. “That wasn’t entirely on Patrick. You weren’t extending your legs. You were bending away from him. He couldn’t hold you up like that.”

“Whatever.” She mumbled. Walked away from them. Got a drink of water.

“Watch,” Derek told her. “Watch us.”

Derek’s hand rolled in a circular motion near the keyboard and the accompanist began to play.  
  
Patrick and Derek got into position and sang the last lines of the song.

_That clinking, clanking, clunking sound,_   
_Is all that makes the world go 'round,_   
_It makes the world go 'round!_

And as Derek rotated into the turn, Patrick held him and turned him over into the lift. Then Derek landed on his feet.

“Fine, it’s my fault.” Stevie said. Frustrated. Annoyed.

“No, no, Stevie,” Derek said. “Not your fault. Just … something we need to work through.”

Patrick nodded. He felt vindicated. _Stevie’s fault_.

“You could do better, Patrick,” Derek said.

“Me?” Patrick’s voiced his frustration.

“The way you held on to me in that turn was strong and steady. You don’t always grab Stevie’s waist like that. You sometimes pick her up like you’re afraid of her.” Derek said. “You can’t do that. She can’t feel safe in the turn if she doesn’t feel like you’ve got her.”

Stevie huffed out a sarcastic chuckle.

“Maybe we should call it a night.” Patrick said. He began to gather the props. Put them in the box over near Mrs. Rose’s desk.

“Yup. Best idea you’ve had all night.” Stevie said. She grabbed her bag and left the building.  
  
Patrick, left standing as he watched her leave, felt a wave of disappointment. For some reason he had thought she’d be excited to hear his news.

++++++ 

_Boyfriend (10:23 pm):_

‘Patrick?’

‘You home? You OK?’

_You (10:23 pm):_

‘Yeah.’

_Boyfriend (10:23 pm):_

‘Were you going to check in?’

_You (10:23 pm):_

‘Sorry, David.’

_Boyfriend (10:23 pm):_

‘What’s wrong?’

_You (10:24 pm):_

‘Nothing.’

_Boyfriend (10:24 pm):_

‘How did rehearsal with go?’

_You (10:24 pm):_

‘Fine.’

_Boyfriend (10:24 pm):_

‘Did you get the lift down?’

_You (10:24 pm):_

‘Nope.’

_Boyfriend (10:25 pm):_

‘So you’re pouting?’

Patrick didn’t respond. He was angry and frustrated. He was disappointed in Stevie and her response to his news.

He sat there at his table. Whiskey out. Two drinks in.

Beside the whiskey bottle on the table set the long black box. The box that held the four gold rings.

The box, open, set beside the whiskey bottle. He had pulled them out from where he kept them hidden in the back of his closet. He sometimes did that. When he wanted to think about how he was going to propose to David. He got them out and touched them. Imagined getting down on one knee in front of David. Thought about them on David’s fingers.

Of course, he’d still propose to him. Of course, he would. But without Stevie’s approval the whole thing felt… tarnished. Without her being excited for David, it would all feel different for David.

He tossed back another swallow of the whiskey.

_Boyfriend (10:26 pm):_

‘You still there?’

_You (10:26 pm):_

‘Yup.’

_Boyfriend (10:26 pm):_

‘What’s wrong?’

_You (10:26 pm):_

‘Nothing. I just keep dropping her.’

_Boyfriend (10:26 pm):_

‘You’ll get it. You know you will.’

‘Derek will help.’

_You (10:27 pm):_

‘Yup.’

_Boyfriend (10:27 pm):_

‘Are you drinking whiskey?’

_You (10:27 pm):_

‘Yup?’

_Boyfriend (10:27 pm):_

‘You have an early morning tomorrow.’

_You (10:28 pm):_

‘I know. Only had three. Putting it away.’

_Boyfriend (10:28 pm):_

‘Sorry rehearsal was bad’

_You (10:28 pm):_

‘How was your mom?’

_Boyfriend (10:28 pm):_

‘Fine. Tonight we finalized Ray, Ronnie, and Bob’s costumes.’

_You (10:28 pm):_

‘You’re getting a lot done.’

_Boyfriend (10:29 pm):_

‘None of which is my job.’

_You (10:29 pm):_

‘Sorry. Appreciate what you’re doing.’

_Boyfriend (10:29 pm):_

‘I know.’

_You (10:29 pm):_

‘What if when I’m with Terri tomorrow and the opportunity to talk about it comes up?’

_Boyfriend (10:29 pm):_

‘Take it, but don’t commit.’

‘Just test the water?’

_You (10:29 pm):_

‘Got it.’

_Boyfriend (10:30 pm):_

‘You and Terri having breakfast at the crack of dawn.’

‘That’s my nightmare.’

_You (10:30 pm):_

‘I’m going to eat lots of bacon.’

‘And biscuits and gravy’

*Bacon emoji* *Egg with a yolk frying in pan emoji* *Pancakes emoji*

_Boyfriend (10:30 pm):_

‘you deserve it.’ *Face throwing a kiss emoji*

‘my little fiber-one cereal man.’

_You (10:30 pm):_

‘fiber is good for you’

_Boyfriend (10:31 pm):_

‘So you’ve told me.’

*Winking face emoji*

‘Now, put your whiskey away and get some sleep’

_You (10:31 pm):_

‘Good night, David’

_Boyfriend (10:31 pm):_

‘Good night, Mr. Brewer.’

‘tomorrow will be better.’

_You (10:31 pm):_

‘Promise?’

_Boyfriend (10:31 pm):_

‘Promise.’

++++++

They’d made the arrangements, Patrick and Terri, to meet in Cedar Grove the halfway point between Schitt’s Creek and where Terri and Amy lived in Thornburg. Though David and Patrick had wanted to make the trip out to the farm and spend a day, there was no logistical way for that to happen. They needed the product as soon as possible. And on the coming weekend, they planned to go see Patrick’s parents who lived in the opposite direction.

Though she brought a massive amount of inventory to them when they went to Patrick’s surprise party, she had overlooked the Body Milk. Terri, feeling badly that she had put them in an inventory bind, offered to meet him.

Both early risers, they decided they could easily meet at 6:30, have breakfast together, load the boxes in Patrick’s car, and both be back at their workplaces before 9.

They met at the same small café where they met when Terri talked Patrick through his struggles during his dark period with David.

When he pulled into the parking lot, she was already there. He popped his trunk and opened his car doors. The two wordlessly began to load the car.

“My god, she’s been busy,” Patrick said. There were far more boxes than he anticipated.

“She’s been busy. Making product like crazy so that you all don’t run too low,” Terri told him; her voice seemed different for Terri. Weary, maybe?

By the time they loaded the car, it was full. Trunk. Back seat from floor to the top. And they even filled the front seat and the floorboard with boxes.

Patrick shut the car up. Locked it. And they went inside to have breakfast.

They ordered a ton of food and sat back to talk.

Patrick thanked Terri for coming to his party. Asked her about her talk with his dad.

“I promised him that I’d keep details to myself. So, I can’t really share that,” She said. “But I think I can say, it’s very clear that your apple fell at the base of your dad’s tree.” She chuckled.

“I take that as a compliment,” He told her.

“It _was_ a compliment.” She said. “Listen, Kid. Your dad is a good man. He wanted to know more about how to word things with you. Wanted to talk through his concerns as a parent. You’re lucky to have him.”

“I know I am.” Patrick said. “And… thank you for being there for him to talk to.”

Patrick asked her how Amy was doing.

“She’s great. Beautiful,” Terri nodded. The obligatory smile that she put on when anyone asked her about Amy.

Patrick noticed her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“No. Terri.” Patrick said. “How’s she doing. How are you two doing? Is everything OK? David said you two argued a few times last weekend.”

Terri took a long sip of her coffee. Nodded her head.

“Bickering. I think it’s just stress. Nothing’s wrong with us.” Terri said.

“That’s good,” Patrick said. “Want to talk about the stress?” He asked.

The waiter arrived with their plates of food. Set it all down in front of them. Biscuits and gravy, eggs, hash browns, bacon, pancakes. More food than both of them should eat. Not more food than both of them could eat.

Patrick ate quietly. Didn’t say anything. Gave his friend time.

Terri, eyes on her eggs sat quietly. Then, she looked up at him. “I’m worried,” she told him.

 _There it is_. Patrick thought. “About?”

“A lot. I’m worried about a lot, Patrick.” Terri said. She bit into a piece of bacon.

“Want to talk about it?” He asked her.

“Nope.” She said. “But I will. I think I need to say it out loud.”

Patrick grinned and took a sip of his orange juice.

“Let’s start with that shit out there,” She pointed out to their cars. “She’s going to wear herself out. Every night when she gets home from work she starts in on a new batch of soap or lotion or that _fuuuuucking_ Body Milk. She’s so afraid of letting you guys down and running out after the baby is born.”

“Mmm,” He made a sound and nodded with a mouth full of hash browns.

“She’s got no idea… hell I have no idea… how exhausted or busy we’re going to be after the baby comes,” Terri said. Then she quietly added, “And that’s if everything goes well.”

Patrick put his fork down. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing.” Terri shook her head. Waved him off. Cut her pancakes.

“Terri.” Patrick eyed her.

“There’s nothing wrong. She’s had some high blood pressure. Doc says nothing out of the ordinary for the last weeks of pregnancy but…”

Patrick didn’t move. Cut her off. Worried. “But what?”

“Nothing.” She said.

“Terri.” Patrick prodded her.

“I worry, Patrick. I worry every day. I can’t… I can’t control it. It is out of my hands. She’s going to… _push_ this baby out of her… she’s going to go through all of that. I can’t make any of it easy. I can’t take away the pain she’s going to feel. I can’t take away the hormonal imbalance her body is going to go through…” And Terri rambled and stumbled over her words and choked back her emotion as she unloaded every fear she held throughout Amy’s pregnancy. Unloaded it and set it out for Patrick to see. For the first time since learning Amy was pregnant, Terri felt safe enough to unburden herself.

She told him about how she wanted Amy to take it easy and Amy, of course, would not. She told him about the nightmares she’d been having. She told him she worried something was going to happen to Amy. Worried something was going to happen to the baby. Worried that they’d made the wrong decision to bring a baby into a world that was so remarkably fucked up.

And then she stopped and took a breath. She looked across the table to see the startled, fearful, unprepared face of her dear friend who listened and had absolutely no idea what the fuck to say in return.

She looked at his sweet face. Always so thoughtful and serious. And saw how his lips were pressed together. How his eyes were as large as she’d ever seen him.

And she began to laugh. “Oh my god.” She said. She put her head down. Ran her hand through her hair. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Patrick.”

He watched his normally even keeled friend cycle though it all. Go from one emotion to another and he wasn’t exactly sure what was happening. His eyes shifted as though he was looking for someone, anyone, to help him.

“Are you OK?” He asked her.

She took a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Picked up her coffee and took a sip. “Guess I just needed to let that out.”

Patrick chuckled. “I guess so.”

Patrick waited until she began to eat before he dug back into his food.

“I’ve not expressed any of that shit to anyone. Sorry about that.” She said. “I guess I just trust you and needed to get it out.”

“I think people worry when they have a baby on the way,” Patrick said. “But is there any reason for you to think there is going to be something wrong? Or is it just the fear of the unknown?”

“No. No. Nothing’s wrong. Her checkups have all been good. I just…” Terri hesitated. “There’s a lot of loss around us, you know? And… I just… thinking about not having her terrifies me.” Terri told him.

“That’s a feeling I can understand.” Patrick said.

They ate in silence for a while and then Terri spoke. “So, I know it’s her business… and she didn’t give me permission to bring this up, but I’m going to.”

Patrick set his fork down. Wrapped his hands around his mug of tea. Looked into the eyes of his friend.

“What if she can’t meet the volume on the product? What if she has to break the contract she has with David?” Terri asked.

“Funny you should bring that up.” Patrick said.

And Patrick leaned forward and shared his idea about the Body Milk.

++++++

_That clinking, clanking, clunking sound,_   
_Is all that makes the world go 'round,_   
_It makes the world go 'round!_

“Fuuuuuuck!!!” Stevie cursed as she landed on the floor.

Patrick stopped apologizing several drops in, earlier in the evening. He just turned and walked over to his water bottle and took a drink. Ignored her.

He was done. _Done._

“That’s enough. That’s _enough_!” Derek said, his voice showing his frustration. His anger.

He motioned to the accompanist. “We’re going to walk down to the bakery. We’re going to get a butter tart. We’re going to drink a coffee.”

“That sounds good,” Stevie said.

Derek held up a finger to her. “Not you.”

Patrick grinned.

“You think this is funny?” Derek held up a finger to Patrick. “You don’t pay me enough to put up with this shit.”

Patrick put his head down. Looked at his feet.

“You two are going to stay here. You are going to talk through whatever this is between you.” Derek flipped his hand between Patrick and Stevie. “I will be back after I’ve had a little sugar in my body so I can withstand whatever this bitterness is.”

And with that, Patrick and Stevie were left alone with only the echo of a slamming door between them.

Stevie, still on the floor where Patrick dropped her, crossed her feet under herself and rested her elbows on her knees. Stared at the floor.

Patrick walked over to her things, retrieved her water bottle, and took it to her.

“Thank you,” She mumbled.

He sat behind the keyboard and his fingers started playing. Notes. Just notes. Nothing in particular. He said nothing to her. He didn’t want to talk to her. His feelings were hurt and he was angry at her.

She looked out of the corner of her eye at him. He hadn’t spoken to her other than a curt word that was required for rehearsal since she responded to him the way she had the other night. She knew that she could have handled that better. Knew she likely owed him more. Knew that… at least for David’s sake… she needed to try.

She rolled her eyes. _Fuck_ , the things she did for David.

“I’m sorry, Patrick.” She said. Face and voice both void of emotion.

Patrick shrugged, continued to play notes on the keyboard; refusing to give in to her. Stubborn. “For what?”

“You know what for,” Stevie told him.

“Eh.” Patrick made a noise of dismissal. He stopped playing. Ran his finger up and down the keys to make a sound of progressive notes going higher and then lower. “You don’t give a fuck if your best friend gets married. You don’t give a shit if I’m the love of his life or he’s the love of mine. You could _not_ care less if your opinion matters to either of us. None of that matters to you. You’re _Stevie Budd_. You don’t give a fuck.”

The harsh words hit her. He was right. That was basically how she’d intended for him to feel when she walked away from him when he told her. She knew he wanted her to express excitement and she denied him that.

“Yeah. I’m sorry for that.” She said. “But if you think I’m going to keep apologizing, then you’re wrong. I’m not going to say it again.”

“I don’t care if you’re sorry or not,” Patrick told her. “And I don’t care if I have your blessing or not. I’m going to ask him to marry me. No matter how you feel about it.”

“Patrick.” She stood up. “Of course, you have my blessing. But… fuck. You don’t _need_ my blessing. The two of you are grown-ass men.”

“Why are you being so…? You know what? Never mind.” Patrick stood and strode toward the door. He was ready to leave. This wasn’t going to work. They were just going to need to change the choreography.

“Patrick, stop.” Stevie said.

He stopped but did not turn around. His hand on the door; ready to leave.

“You want honesty? How about… I didn’t like you when you… came into our lives.” She told him.

He remained at the door. Back to her. Waiting. Listening.

“I mean… I liked you. You were funny and gave him a hard time. I liked that. But…” she paused.

“Fuck,” She whispered to herself. Shook her hands in front of herself. This was not easy. She did _not_ want to do this. Vulnerability was for the weak.

“You took a lot of his time. And… his energy. And… his every waking thought.” She spat out the words begrudgingly.

Patrick waited. His back to her. Knew if he turned around to look at her, she might stop talking.

“Before you… it was only me. I was his person,” She said. Then she added, “And… I’m not talking about the sex… this is not about the sex, Patrick.”

At that, Patrick did turn around. Looked at her. Needed to see her.

“Isn’t it?” He asked her. She opened the door with the conversation. He was going to go there. He might never have the chance again.

She shook her head. “It’s not. I know you think it is. It’s not.”

“You loved him.” Patrick said. “I know you told him you didn’t, but I know what I saw when you came to see me when we broke up. I know what I saw, Stevie.”

She nodded. Two curt, small nods. “I know.”

He waited.

“You were right. I did. I did love him like that. I loved him like that for longer than I should have. You were right. But I don’t anymore. Now… I love him. He’s my best friend. He knows me like nobody else does. But I don’t love him like that.” She said. Then added for good measure, “Not anymore. Not anymore, Patrick.”

“OK.” His nod was curt. He eyed her.

“I stopped being jealous of you a long time ago. But, I’m being honest with you, the jealousy was not about the sex, Patrick. It was about the time. About the…” She made a sound of frustration as she forced back the tears from her eyes. “Fuck. It was about sharing him. That’s all. You came to town and he was just… Patrick this… Patrick that.” She waved her arms in front of herself.

Patrick shoved his hands into his pockets. Waited.

“But eventually… he made room for me again. We started doing our date nights. Dinner at the café or going out to the Wobbly Elm to play pool.”

Patrick nodded.

“He told me that was your idea. That we schedule regular time together.” She told him.

“Yeah.” He said.

She made another noise. Cleared her throat.

“You’re the best thing that has happened to him, Patrick,” Stevie told him. “I mean… not just your relationship, but the store. All of it.’

“Nah… Nah, Stevie. You are. When he came to this town, you saved him. I don’t know how many times he’s told me that. Without you… when he came here? He would have collapsed.” Patrick told her. “I’m really glad he had you when he got here. Because of you, he was as together as he was when I met him.”

“But I knew him before you came here and he… he’s better now, Patrick. So much better. Stronger… Happier.” She sat down on a chair at the edge of the room. “You’re good for him. The two of you? You’re really good together.”

“There are things he can talk to you about that he can’t talk to me about,” Patrick said. “Things you can say to him to get through to him that he won’t hear when I say them.”

“That’s true.” She chuckled.

Patrick walked over to Stevie. Pulled a chair near her. Sat down beside her.  
  
They both faced toward the middle of the room. Facing the same direction.

“It’s going to take both of us to get him through life,” Patrick said. “I can’t do it alone.”

“It’s really too big of a chore for one person,” Stevie said flatly. Then a sly grin crossed her face.

“So…” Patrick held out a hand to her. “Do we have a deal? We’ll tag-team the hell out of the job of taking care of him?”

Stevie shook his hand. “Deal.”

Patrick leaned against her. Shoulder to shoulder.

“And… the proposal?” He asked.

“You have my blessing,” She rolled her eyes.

Patrick wrapped an arm around her. “Thank you, Stevie.” He said. He kissed her temple.

She pushed him away. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Sorry,” He stood and walked back to the keyboard.

Then she said, “And if you utter one word about what I told you tonight? To _anyone_? You will not live long enough to regret it.”

“Noted,” Patrick nodded. His fingers began to play. Random notes. “Secret’s safe with me.”

++++++

_That clinking, clanking, clunking sound,_   
_Is all that makes the world go 'round,_   
_It makes the world go 'round!_

“Better. Better!” Derek said.

It wasn’t perfect. Stevie’s legs still weren’t completely straight and upright during the turn. But Patrick’s grip on her was tighter and her back was more stiff and solid. She leaned back against him like she was supposed to. It was a massive improvement.

And, above all, Patrick didn’t drop her.

As they packed up their things, Derek told them that he could do one more night. The next night would hopefully do it.  
  
“If you do this good tomorrow, we’ll work on final technique. I think we’re just about there. You just about have the lift. The rest of it is great.” He told them as they locked up Town Hall.

Stevie drove Patrick home. When she pulled up to his apartment building, he paused before he reached for the door.

“Thanks, Stevie. Appreciate your honesty tonight.” He said.

“We good?” She asked. She could tell there was something else that he wanted to say.

He sat without moving.

“Just say it,” She told him. Annoyed she had to sit through more of it.

“For the record, sometimes I’m jealous, too. Of what you have with him.” Patrick said. “And… if I’m being honest… the sex stuff is sometimes… there in my head.”

Stevie nodded. “That’s… I mean… I get it? But… I hope you know that’s not even a thing anymore.”

“Logically, I know that.” He said.

“Mmm,” she nodded.

“And… for the record… sometimes I’m jealous because when something happens, he tells me he can’t wait to tell you. And I feel like… I should be enough. But I’m not.” Patrick added. Honesty.

“When I’m with him and something big happens, he can’t wait to tell you,” Stevie added. “And I feel the same way.”

Patrick nodded. Unhooked his seatbelt. Faced forward. Looked out into the street. “I love him so much, Stevie. I want to live my life with him. Grow old with him.”

She shrugged, “I’m guessing he wants the same with you.”

“I hope so.” Patrick told her.

“When are you going to ask him?”

He shook his head, “I don’t know. Soon? Probably soon.”

“How long have you had the rings?” She asked.

“Several months. Ordered them in December. Got them in January.” He said.

“Fuuuuuck.” She said.

“That’s just when I bought them, I’ve known longer than that.” He told her.

“Yeah… I know.” She said.

“I’m glad I could tell you, Stevie. Feels good to say it out loud. Makes it feel real.” He said.

“Am I the only one who knows?” She asked.

“First one I’ve told,” Patrick confirmed.

Stevie nodded her head.

“Think he’ll say yes?” Patrick asked. Giving the small doubt in his head a voice.

Without hesitating she said, “He’ll say yes.”

A small smile crossed Patrick’s face. Stevie would know.

“You’re a good friend,” Patrick said.

“Yeah. We’ve established that. He’s lucky to have me.” She said sarcastically.

“No. I mean to me. You’re a good friend to me, too… Stevie.” Patrick said. “Thank you.”

She didn’t hide the mixture of shock and delight that briefly… very briefly… crossed her face before she hid it away and her aloof expression took over. “Yeah. You too, Patrick.”

With that he held up a fist to her. She met it with her own in a fist bump. He let himself out of her car. As soon as he shut the door, she put the car in gear and drove away, leaving him standing at the curb as he watched her go.

++++++

After Patrick’s shower, he set his alarm and lay down on his bed. The day had been a long one. He’d left the house so early to meet Terri for breakfast. He and Stevie danced well past their normal time at rehearsal.

As his eyes closed, he fleetingly thought he probably should text David. Then figured if he hadn’t heard from David by then, he likely was asleep.

Patrick rolled over and, for the first time all week, drifted into a deep sleep.

++++++

David lay in bed. Eyes wide open as he stared through the dark room up at the ceiling. His sister mumbled something in her sleep.

All week, he had initiated the evening texts and this time he told himself if Patrick wanted to talk, he could initiate it.

And Patrick hadn’t initiated it.

God, he hoped that they’d had the last of their rehearsals. He couldn’t stomach one more long meeting with his mother. He needed a break.

David’s mind drifted to the light at the end of his tunnel. His upcoming road trip with Patrick. David loved a good road trip. And this one was different than most of their others because it was a long one. The Brewers lived six hours away so they would be alone together for hours upon hours in the car. Listening to music, snacking, talking. David would likely get a good nap in. He loved sleeping in a moving car.

He knew they needed to talk about it all. They would.

Alexis snorted a little snore and then rolled over. Faced away from David. Made a little noise in her sleep and then settled in again.

He was looking forward to spending time with Patrick at his parents’ home. Ready to spend more time with Patrick’s parents. Was he ready to meet the rest of Patrick’s family? His friends? No. Not really. But he’d do it. It seemed like a logical next step.  
  
And, speaking of next steps. He’d been thinking a lot more about it. Since his therapy session when they’d dissected the whole condom issue again. The Patrick coming out situation.

And, though he wasn’t sure he was exactly ready, it wasn’t off the table like he thought it might be. He thought about it, again. Patrick fucking him without a condom. He thought about what it might be like to move forward with their original plan. He felt his dick twitch.

He rolled to his side. Faced the wall. He reached his hand down to stroke himself as he felt himself grow firm in his hand. He’d missed Patrick all week. They’d not had any time alone to speak of. No time for any intimacy. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t spent the night with him… at least one of the nights. It was just a very busy time.

Not typically one to touch himself when someone else was in the room, David needed something. Anything. His dick was asking for something.

He pulled his covers up over his shoulders. Covered his head. He lay still. Opened up his phone to the photo he kept of Patrick. Patrick in the elastic strap contraption that David had created. Patrick wearing the boots and the socks. Patrick in his black jock strap. Nothing else.

 _God_ , he loved him. He loved his body. That broad chest. Those strong arms. Those thick thighs. Maybe especially those love handles that made him real and vulnerable.

He imagined sucking those nipples. Running his tongue along that vein that popped out on his neck.

His eyes lingered on the fabric that stretched tightly over Patrick’s considerable package. He thought of the pleasure Patrick brought him with that farmer cock.

David held still. Didn’t want to make any noise. His only movement was his hand down in his pants. Slowly stroking himself, his thumb pausing to rub and tease the head of his leaking cock.

David thought about Patrick as he looked at his body in the photo. And touched himself. He reached under his pillow for the tissues he’d tucked there. Held them to himself as he quietly came.

Came as he shut his eyes and thought about Patrick.

Patrick fucking him.

Condomless.

++++++

As he walked toward the store, he saw them through the window. Patrick and Stevie. Inside the store, laughing as though they hadn’t a care in the world.

Part of him was pleased. He knew they’d struggled all week. Clearly, they were all the better for it. Clearly, they were getting along well and that was nice, he supposed. It made life good that his best friend and his boyfriend enjoyed one another’s company as much as they did.

He knew he was lucky.

But he was also irritated.

Seriously. He’d spent every fucking evening all week with his mother while they carried on with such silliness. Cavorting around. Enjoying the freedom he offered by keeping his mother busy while they yukked it up.

He stepped into the store. Saw Stevie laughing at something Patrick had just said.

“Oh! You must be having a lovely morning.” He greeted them.

“Well, you know. Just gettin’ started,” Patrick responded.

“Is it just getting started?” David asked him. Voice dripping with sarcasm. “Because it looks like the two of you have been engaged in general merriment for quite some time now.”

+++


	34. Home: Part 1 of 3 - Benji and Oliver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick take a road trip to visit Patrick's parents in his boyhood home. Always fans of a road trip, they play a game, eat snacks, sing, talk, and rest as they travel. Once home Patrick and David spend time with Clint and Marcy. Patrick's family, excited to meet David, arrive for the family barbecue. David meets the group and makes a connection. After the family leaves, David, Patrick, Clint and Marcy relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place between 5.12 and 5.13 and is part 1 of 3 chapters. 
> 
> +++
> 
> *****WARNING*****  
> During their road trip, David and Patrick briefly talk about the deaths of grandparents. No specific details of death or the grieving of characters is discussed. If reading about the passing of a grandparent might be a trigger to you, consider skipping the road trip sections at the start of the chapter.  
> ***END WARNING****  
> +++
> 
> Thank for the patience while I wrote. Given that the story of Patrick being back home turned into multiple chapters, I wanted to have them all mostly written before I began to post, so that you wouldn't have to wait for the conclusion of the set. In addition, I pushed chapters together. What could easily be 5 chapters will be presented as 3 longer-than-normal chapters. 
> 
> And to the friend who sent me a private message on the Twitter that asked, "Soooo on a scale from 1 to before Xmas where does chapter 34 land in there??" This message made me laugh and reminded me that people were waiting. I enjoy our little exchanges. Thank you. This one is for you.
> 
> Next chapter to post over the coming weekend. 
> 
> +++
> 
> To my friends on the front lines. Medical workers. Grocery and Pharmacy workers. Social Workers. Teachers. Postal workers. Emergency Management. I hear and see you. As numbers rise so does the stress. Please have a plan of action. Ask for support from those in your inner circle. Have numbers at the ready on who you can call (Suicide Prevention, Mental Health support in your community, and your best friend). And never underestimate the value of having a friend in the fandom. 
> 
> Please. Reach out. 
> 
> You are not alone.
> 
> Be well. Be kind to yourself. 
> 
> \- PD
> 
> +++

++++++

David stepped out of the bathroom and stood in the far corner of the store and eyed them.

The two of them stood behind the register talking. He chuckled. Affectionately put his hand on her shoulder. She flipped her hair. Booped his nose.

Try as he might, David would never understand why she became so malleable in Patrick’s presence. Scratch that. Yes, he could understand. Because he was smitten with him, also. And, ultimately, he would succumb to Patrick’s will at the blink of those big brown eyes. That subtle little smile of his. The way he modulated his voice when he was asking for a favor.

David rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, “OK, Patrick. I’m ready if you are.”

“You good?” Patrick asked Alexis.

“Mmhm. Mmhm.” She nodded her head and tugged on her hair.

“Get my bag, please?” David asked him as he walked toward the door.

When Patrick ducked into the office, David spoke quickly, quietly, and harshly. “You listen to me.”

Alexis’s head whipped around to look at him. “What, David!?”

“Don’t fuck this up. I’m not kidding. He’s trusting you.” David told her.

“Does that mean _YOU_ aren’t trusting me?” She asked.

Patrick reappeared from the office.

As Patrick scooted around her, David looked at her and nodded. “That’s correct.”

“OK. We’re heading out. You have the keys?” Patrick asked her.

“Right here. Everything will be fine.” She told Patrick.

Patrick pulled her into a hug. As she looked over Patrick’s shoulder, David shot her a look. His eyes grew large and he pursed his lips. He held one hand up. Two fingers. He pointed first at his eyes then at her.

She shot him a look over Patrick’s shoulder. Eyes large, lips pressed together. She held one hand up. One finger. She flipped him off.

“Remember a check in text tonight? Fill me in on how things went?” Patrick asked her.

She kissed him on the cheek. Booped his nose again, for good measure. “You got it, Button.”

Patrick handed David his bag. “David, how about you go get in the car. I’ll be out in a minute.”

David made eye-contact with Alexis, made a noise of discontent, and left the store.

Patrick watched him go. When the door was closed, Patrick turned to her. “Flipping him off behind my back isn’t going to help him trust you.” Patrick told her.

She made a noise of protest and then stopped when she looked him in the eyes. “Sorry.”

“I trust you.” Patrick told her honestly.

“I’m doing this for _you_ ,” She said.

“Do it for both of us. Do it for him. Please.” Patrick said.

She rolled her eyes, “Go. Have fun.”

“Text me.” He told her.

“I promise.” She did a double wink and smiled at him.

He opened the front door, looked over his shoulder and added for good measure, “Just so you know, the car ride is six hours long. He will have _nothing_ to do for _six hours_. The security cameras are on and he can watch from his phone. Which means he’s going to watch you all day.”

She drooped her shoulders and threw her head back. Sighed loudly. Stomped her foot. “Goooooo!”

He chuckled as he shut the Apothecary door behind himself and headed for the car.

++++++

Patrick opened wide and David put the nacho in his mouth.

“I don’t know why we couldn’t just eat sandwiches. They’re easier to eat while driving.” Patrick said around the chip and all of its toppings.

“Because it’s Fiesta Friday at the café and I always get the nachos for lunch. Be happy I’m sharing.” David told him before he put a nacho in his own mouth.

“I am happy you’re sharing. Though I’m not sure you’ve ever fed me before… or shared your food with me,” Patrick teased him. Took a sip of his soda.

“Well, it’s not safe for you to eat this messy food on your own while you drive,” David told him.

“Speaking of which… what leg do you want to drive?” Patrick asked him.

“If you get tired, tell me. Otherwise, I’m fine with you driving the whole way.” David told him as though it was a gift to Patrick that he would be driving the entirety of the trip.

David held up another chip with ooey-gooey-goodness on it for Patrick.

“Shit,” Patrick mumbled when a drop of cheese and sauce dripped onto his shirt.

“Sorry,” David told him as he used a napkin to wipe up the mess, leaving a stain on the front of Patrick’s favorite light blue shirt.

++++++

“There. Dead animal.” Patrick seemed a bit overly-excited as he pointed to the side of the road as they passed it.

David sighed and crossed off the square on Patrick’s BINGO card. “I think that one is so macabre. I don’t know why you have that on here.”

“Because there’s always a dead animal on the side of the road. It’s like a FREE spot on the card,” Patrick laughed.

“Now you’re laughing. Not only are you benefitting from a lost soul, but now you’re laughing about it,” David poked him on the thigh.

“You just don’t like it because I’m ahead,” Patrick told him.

“Yeah. There’s that.” David put the BINGO card back in the glove compartment and sat back in his seat. Sighing. Content and happy.

++++++

They were less than an hour in. They had already stopped once. David wanted to wash his hands after eating lunch and Patrick hadn’t yet purchased the requisite red licorice and suckers for the trip ahead. David had declared that the trip could not continue until they were fully stocked.

As Patrick pulled out onto the highway, David asked him what music he wanted to listen to.

“You pick,” Patrick told him.

“No. I’m going to rest. What do you want to hear?” David asked him.

David liked to sleep while Patrick drove. He liked the feeling of knowing that Patrick was in control and would take care of everything. He could shut his eyes and completely relax, because Patrick would take care of him. Keep him safe.

Patrick picked his singer/songwriter playlist. Cat Stevens, James Taylor, and the like. Guitars and gentle voices that he knew would lull David to sleep while providing Patrick plenty of songs to sing.

Patrick liked to drive while David slept. He liked the feeling of knowing David had complete trust in him. Trust enough to shut his eyes and know that Patrick would take care of him. Keep him safe.

David reached into the back seat for a pillow and Grandma’s quilt.

“Didn’t know you brought that,” Patrick noted.

“It’s cozy. My favorite thing.” David sat so that he faced Patrick. Adjusted his seat belt so he could lean the car seat back and rest.

He reached across the center console. Pressed the back of his hand against Patrick’s side.

“I hope I get to meet your grandma this weekend. Will she be there?” David asked him.

“ _This_ grandma?” Patrick asked as he pointed to the quilt.

“Yes, _this_ grandma. I honestly didn’t think about you having another grandma.” David told him.

“David, this grandma is dead,” Patrick said frankly.

David sat up quickly. “What!?” His voice expressed his shock.

“Yeah,” Patrick nodded. Eyes on the road.

David furrowed his brow, “My god, Patrick. I didn’t know that. When did she pass?”

“I was kid.” Patrick said.

“Your mom’s mom. Right? That’s this one?” David’s hand affectionately rubbed the quilt that rested over his body.

“Yeah,” Patrick told him.

“Ohmygod. I’m sorry,” David truly felt sadness over it. He had always thought of this grandmother as someone he’d get to meet. “I really am sorry.”

“Why did you want to meet her?” Patrick asked him. His heart warmed at the thought of David wanting to meet her.

“Because. I don’t know. Because this quilt? It’s maybe my most favorite thing of yours. It comforts me.” David told him.

“Maybe you should tell my mom that.” Patrick told him.

David reclined in his seat again. Adjusted the pillow under his head. Pulled the old, worn quilt up under his chin. “I will.”

Patrick rested his right hand on David’s leg. David moved his arm outside of the quilt. Moved his hand to hold Patrick’s. Their fingers laced together.

“Sweetie. I’m sorry your grandma died,” David told him.

“Thanks. She was pretty great,” Patrick said.

“Want to tell me about her?” David asked.

“I used to like to play games with her and grandpa when they visited. They lived out of state. Mom’s from north of here. Grandpa still lives there.” Patrick added. “She was… _very_ special. I was sad when she died.”

They were quiet for a while.

Then David asked, “Do you have another grandma?”

“I do. Dad’s mom. You’ll meet her. She and Granddad live in town.” Patrick nodded.

“Are you close?” David asked.

“Close isn’t the word I’d use. But we get along. She’s closer to my female cousins.” Patrick told him. Then decided it was an appropriate time to ask a question about David’s family, “How about you? Are your grandparents living?”

“No.” David said simply.

“None of them?” Patrick asked.

“None.” David said.

“Did you ever know them?” Patrick asked.

“Not Mom’s. Honestly, I don’t even know that story. I just know they aren’t living,” He said.

“Hmmm.” Patrick made a noise. “How about your dad’s?”

“Yeah. I knew them. Not close. But I knew them,” David said. He looked out the side window.

“How old were you when they died?” Patrick asked.

“I was in elementary school when _he_ passed. I don’t remember much about him. But I’ve seen pictures. Looks like Dad. The Rose family genes are strong.” David said. He looked up. Watched Patrick’s profile as he drove. Watched a smile flash across his face.

“Lucky me,” Eyes on the road, Patrick smiled. He loved when David opened up and told him about his childhood. And that usually happened when they were on the road. When Patrick’s eyes were somewhere other than on David.

David was quiet. His fingers toyed with Patrick’s hand. Drew circles on his palm.

“How about your grandma?” Patrick asked.

“Grandmother. We would have _never dared_ call her grandma.” David corrected him. Then added, “She passed when I was in high school.”

“Want to talk about memories you have of them?” Patrick asked.

“I don’t have memories of them, Patrick. I knew who they were. Saw them at the occasional gathering. Received birthday checks from them. It’s not like we talked or anything,” David told him.

“Sorry,” Patrick muttered. Reminded, yet again, of the vastly different upbringings they both experienced.

They were both quiet as the music filled the car between them.

“I want to sleep now,” David told him.

Patrick patted David’s thigh and then put both hands on the wheel. Let him sleep. Content knowing they’d just talked more about their past than usual. Content, knowing they would have hours in the car and that David was relaxed and happy.

As David slept, Patrick thought about the coming weekend. Introducing David to his extended family was an important step.  
  
His stomach did a little flip-flop as he imagined David in a room with his old friends. He hoped it wasn’t a bad idea to get them all together. When Patrick really thought about it, he wasn’t sure he’d call them friends anymore. They were all buddies from high school. They’d gotten together when they were all home during their college years. But as they all got older, a couple of them married and the others all did what Patrick did. Moved on.

Still, he wanted to touch base with them. Let them know who he was now. If for no other reason to put closure to the past.

Then, he thought about Rachel. And Zach, who had been his best friend for… his whole life. His best friend until Patrick left town. And then they didn’t talk to one another again. Well, not a conversation worth noting. An occasional text, but nothing more than “Did you see the big game?” or a comment about their favorite team’s draft pick.

But they didn’t talk in depth. They never once mentioned Rachel.

Patrick shook it off. There was no reason to perseverate on it. He’d see them all soon enough. Sort out what needed sorting. Enjoy what he could. And, ultimately, decide what the status was for each of the relationships with his friends.

Patrick settled in. Sang quietly to the tunes that played. Occasionally moved his hand to David’s leg. Rubbed him or patted him. And focused on home. His parents. The barn. The house. The animals. He was ready to see them. Ready to have David know it all better. Ready to make David a part of his family.

David, face slack and body relaxed, slept.

Patrick, a smile on his face and a heart full of love, drove.

++++++

“David.” Patrick gently shook him. “Babe. We’re stopped. Want to get out?”

David woke up. Rolled from his side onto his back. Stretched his legs out and realized he was in the car. Opened one eye. “Mmmm.”

“Need to get gas.” Patrick told him. “Want to go to the restroom?”

“Gas? How long have I been asleep?” David asked him.

“Almost three hours,” Patrick told him.

“M’god. Why didn’t you wake me?” David asked.

Patrick didn’t dare tell him that he didn’t wake him because he made better time when David was asleep and not needing to stop once per hour.

He, instead, leaned over and kissed David on the forehead. “You didn’t tell me to wake you, and you seemed to be sleeping really deeply. You must have needed it.”

Then, Patrick smacked David on the thigh. “Now, let’s get out and stretch our legs.”

With that Patrick was out of the car.

David shut his eyes for a moment longer and forced himself out of the car. He went in search of a restroom while Patrick went into the store to buy more snacks.

When David returned from the restroom, he met Patrick beside the car as Patrick stood by the pump.  
  
David wrapped his arms around him. Patrick kissed him. On the neck. On the cheek.

David sighed, “I’m so relaxed.”

“That was the goal,” Patrick patted him on the ass.

“Did you find something salty for our snack?” David asked.

“Pretzels,” Patrick grinned. Rested his head on David’s shoulder, still being held in an embrace.

“Soft ones?” He asked.

“Yeah, and they’re warm.” Patrick said.

“My hero,” David kissed him on the cheek. “Did you buy a few more suckers?”

“Mmmhmm.” Patrick rubbed his hand on David’s chest. “And water.”

“Sparkly or flat?” David asked.

“Both,” Patrick told him.

“My god I love you,” David said, casually, as he turned to get in the car.

++++++

 _Don't want to be a fool for you_ _  
Just another player in your game for two  
I don't want to be your fool  
But it ain't no lie  
Baby bye bye bye  
Bye bye  
Don't really want to make it tough  
I just want to tell you that I've had enough  
It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie  
Bye bye_

They both moved their arms in front of themselves, in unison. Moved their hands while they sang “Bye bye bye.”

Patrick laughed.

“Oh!” David proclaimed and pointed. “Coke truck! Coke truck!” He reached into the glove compartment and pulled out his bingo card and marked off the sighting.

“How are you doing? How close are you?” Patrick asked him.

“If I get a church with a bell in a steeple or if I get a billboard for a law firm, then I win,” David told him.

“How close am I?” Patrick asked.

“You’re never winning this game. You have two on here. Dead animal and person on motorcycle.” David teased him.

“I _was_ ahead,” Patrick argued.

“You’re not anymore,” David told him flatly.

“I don’t remember what all I’m looking for.” Patrick told him.

“I’ll read them to you again. Listen to me this time.” David began reading off the boxes on Patrick’s BINGO card, “White horse in a field, A U-Haul pulling a car,…”

++++++

David popped the sucker out of his mouth. “So, you and Stevie? You got the lift down. It looked good when we saw you.”

“Yup. We got it.” Patrick nodded.

“What ended up doing the trick? Took you all week.” David noted.

“We had to work on our trust, I think. Derek helped us get there.” Patrick said. Remembering Stevie’s threat and knowing he needed to keep their talk between the two of them. Feeling like he wasn’t keeping something from David, but instead honoring his friendship with Stevie.

“Derek _helped_ you,” David nodded. Then said again, “ _Helped_.” He grinned. His eyes danced.

“Yup. He’s good.” Patrick shot a sideways glance at David who was turned in his seat staring at Patrick.

“ _Yeaahhh_ , he’s good.” David said. “Have you seen his ass?”

“I’ve seen _you_ seeing his ass,” Patrick teased with a grin on his face.

“You saw that, did you?” David suppressed a smile. Popped the sucker back into his mouth.

“I can’t blame you,” Patrick shrugged.

“Oh?” David asked.

“You like a good ass on a man,” Patrick reached over and slid his hand onto David’s lap. Slid his hand to cup David’s inner thigh.

“I definitely like yours, Mr. Brewer.” David reached down and picked up Patrick’s hand in his own. Kissed the back of it, and moved it back to the steering wheel.

++++++

David merged the car onto the highway. Both hands on the wheel, he sat up straight and focused on the road ahead of them.

Patrick sat back in his seat. Sipped his ice tea. Relaxed. Amused that David’s posture was that of someone driving through a slick ice storm.

“You’re going to be fine David. You drive all the time,” Patrick said.

“I’ve never driven on _this_ highway, Patrick,” David said. His voice full of tension.

“I just wanted to rest my eyes for a little bit,” Patrick said.

They’d argued in the parking lot of the gas station where they’d stopped. Patrick had come out from the restroom and David was sitting in the passenger seat eating from a small bag of Skittles he’d purchased.

Patrick told him that he wanted to rest and asked David to drive the rest of the way. After all, they had only about an hour more to go. David huffed and vacated his seat.

“Look!” Patrick pointed as they passed another item from the BINGO card. “There was a white horse!” He reached into the glove box to get the game.

“No. Doesn’t count,” David shook his head. Both hands still gripping the wheel.

“Why not?” Patrick said.

“Has to be confirmed by both of us, and I didn’t see it.” David said.

“We just drove by it,” Patrick argued.

David’s eyes never left the road. His hands continued to grip the wheel as he leaned forward. “Does it _look like_ I’m sightseeing right now, Patrick?”

Patrick sighed. “Just pull over at the next exit. I’ll drive.”

++++++

Patrick turned off the highway and into his home town. As they entered the city limits, his stomach did a flip-flop.

“It’s as pretty as I remember,” David told him. “This really is a nice little place, Patrick.”

“It is,” Patrick agreed. He liked it. Though it was a small town, it was bigger than Schitt’s Creek. Quite a bit bigger. More local businesses, bigger schools. Community gathering places. It was somewhere in size between Elmdale and Thornbridge. There were lots of activities for him to participate in as he grew up. He was thankful for that.

“Oh! M’god!” David proclaimed and pointed. “Patrick! Look! Church with a bell in the steeple! Church with a bell in the steeple!”

Patrick, who had purposefully driven by his family’s church, which was in no way on the normal route to his parents’ house, nodded. “Yup. You got it!”

“I won!” David waved his paper with the BINGO game on it in front of Patrick. “I won!”

“You did!” Patrick nodded and smiled. “Well done.”

“What did I win?” David asked.

“Look in the console,” Patrick lifted his elbow so David could open the compartment between the two seats.  
  
There, David found a bag of Sour Patch Kids. “Oh, thankyouverymuch,” David said. Happy. He opened the bag and popped one of the tart candies into his mouth. The glands in the back of his mouth immediately released a gush of saliva as the sour taste filled his mouth.

Patrick nodded. Smiled. Drove through town. His eyes lingered on the high school as he passed. On the baseball field where he used to play. On the old courthouse square.

“Patrick,” David said around the candy he chewed.

“Hmm?” Patrick asked. His eyes lingering on the old burger joint where he and Rachel hung out as high schoolers.

“You hate these candies,” David said.

“I do.” Patrick nodded, not a fan of sour things. “Enjoy them. They’re all yours.”

“But if we were competing for the prize, why did you buy a candy you hated?” David asked.

Patrick ignored the question and pointed, “That building there? That second hand store? That used to be the Rose Video where I worked in high school.”

David’s eyes lingered on the store. It had the same outline of the old video stores that he had known in his past. He could see it, with a different paint job, at an earlier time. He could imagine the video store there.

Patrick continued to point out locations to David as they drove through town. “There’s where Dad works. That’s the place I bought my first car. …”

++++++

Clint stood in the front yard and waved at them as they drove up.

“Hi, fellas!” He called as he walked toward them.

“Dad!” Patrick called back. He opened the trunk of the car.

As his dad approached, Patrick moved into his arms. A tight hug. Smacks on the back.  
  
“Son!” Clint greeted him. Then held his hand out to David, “David. How was the trip?”

David shook his hand, “It was great, Mr. Brewer. Seemed to go fast.”

“There they are! My boys!” Marcy called from the front door. She hurried off the porch and across the driveway to greet them both.

She first hugged Patrick. Kissed him on the cheek. “I know it’s only been a week, but it felt much longer.” She kissed him again. Hugged him tightly.

When she released him she moved for David. Arms held wide. “David. I’m so happy you are here!”

David walked easily into her hug. Bending low to be closer to her level. She planted a kiss on his cheek as well. “Hi Mrs. Brewer. Thank you for inviting me.”

Patrick’s mom held on to David’s arm and tugged him. Walked toward the house with him. “Patrick?” He called over his shoulder. “Will you get my bag?”

“Got it.” Patrick reached into the front seat of the car to retrieve David’s leather bag while his dad pulled the two suitcases out of the trunk. Patrick grabbed one and his dad the other. 

“She’s been telling everyone she knows how great David is,” Clint told Patrick as they walked toward the house.

“That’s good, because he’s listed for me all the things he wants to talk to her about this weekend.” Patrick chuckled.

“Son, you know she expects him to stay in the guest room.” Clint told him.

“Yeah. We know, Dad.” Patrick said. Then added, “It’s OK.”

“It’s not because…”

Patrick cut him off. “I know. House rules. Always has been. Wouldn’t expect them to change because I’m gay.”

“We talked about it. She’s not budging on it,” He said.

“Dad. It’s OK.” Patrick assured him. “House rules.”

Clint held the front door open for him, then headed upstairs with Patrick’s suitcase.

Patrick rounded the base of the stairs and went down the hallway to the guest room. “Here you go, David.” Patrick set David’s suitcase and his bag on the bed.

“Thank you,” David said quietly.

“Dad took my bag up to my room. I’m going to go clean up,” Patrick said. He kissed David’s cheek and then left the room.

“Let me show you where the towels are,” Patrick’s mom walked out of the bedroom and into the bathroom across the hall. David followed her. Listened and paid attention to what she told him.

“Thank you. This is very nice.” He told her.

She went back into the bedroom and opened the closet. “Extra pillows and blankets in here. Help yourself.” She showed him.

“I’m sure I’ll be very comfortable. Thank you, Mrs. Brewer.” He told her.

“I’m going to let you get settled. Clean up. I’m making a light dinner. Just salad and sandwiches. I figured you’ve probably been snacking today, but it’s important to have a real meal,” She told him.  
  
He wasn’t hungry in the slightest. But he smiled at her and told her, “Sounds wonderful.”

She left him alone. Shut the door behind herself. He sat down on the side of the bed. Looked around the room. He knew that this was supposed to be where he stayed the last time, and he didn’t.

 _I can do this_ , he thought to himself.

He missed Patrick already, but he could do it. It seemed like a comfortable room. Nicer than his own.

His phone vibrated and when he looked, he realized Patrick was Facetiming him.

“Hi handsome,” He said as he answered the phone.

Patrick’s face filled his screen. That tiny movement on his face. A little smile, his eyes did that thing where his brows raised slightly. “Hi, getting settled in?”

“Learning where the extra pillows and blankets are. This queen size bed is going to have me in the lap of luxury. I’m never going to want to go home.” David told him with a smile. “How’s your room?”

“The same as it always is,” Patrick said.

“I think it’s nice they leave it the way you used to have it. It’s nice that you have that to come home to.” David said somewhat wistfully.

“I’m very lucky,” Patrick said.

“Your mom is making dinner. I want to go wash up before I head to the kitchen to offer to help,” David told him.

“See you in a bit,” Patrick kissed the camera. Blowing a kiss at David.

David smiled and closed out the video session. Left his phone on the bed and took his bag to the bathroom to freshen up.

++++++

“Patrick Brewer,” his mother was leaving her upstairs bedroom as he was leaving his.  
  
“Marcy Brewer,” He said to her teasingly, mimicking the tone of her voice.

“What is that stain on your shirt?” She asked him as she rubbed a finger over it.

“Dripped lunch on it,” Patrick looked down and touched the stain, having forgotten it earlier.

“Go take that off. I’ll throw it in the wash,” She said.

“Nah,” He shook his head. “It’s OK. I’ll take care of it when I get home.”

“Go take it off. I never get to take care of you anymore and I’m going to do it this weekend. Now go. Bring it downstairs and I’ll throw it in after dinner.” She began to walk away and then turned back.

“Patrick?” She stopped him.

He turned to her, “Yeah, Mom?”

She walked close to him. Her finger touched a button on the front of his shirt. She looked up at him. “I want to tell him that he can call me Marcy. Is that all right with you?”

Patrick smiled. His hand touched her arm. Squeezed her. “I’d love that.”

“I know that you call his mom Mrs. Rose. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Power dynamics and… all that.” She looked at her son, her face serous.

“We don’t have to call our moms the same thing,” Patrick told her.

“If he doesn’t want to, of course he doesn’t have to,” She said. Worried she might upset the apple cart.

He pulled her into a hug, “Just talk to him, Mom.”

She held him. Squeezed him. Inhaled his scent. Her boy. He was back in her arms.

She could have held him there for much longer, but she released him before it grew weird. She learned when he was younger how much he’d tolerate being held by his mother. She knew when to let go. And it was always sooner than she’d rather. But there would be more hugs coming. The weekend, she was determined, would be full of them.

She turned to head downstairs. He stood at his doorway and watched her.

“Hey, Mom?”

She turned and looked back at him.

He smiled at her. That sweet smile. “Thanks.”

++++++

As Patrick stepped off the last stair and into the living room, he heard them chatting in the kitchen. He smiled. He liked that his mom and David got along as well as they did. They were talking as though they’d known each other for years.

“What’s going on in here?” He asked. He held up his hand with his shirt in it.

Marcy pointed to the laundry room off the kitchen, “Put it in there, Honey. I’ll work on that stain after I finish here.” Marcy was thrilled to be busy. Thrilled the boys were there for the weekend.

Patrick leaned over David and snatched a piece of the cucumber he was slicing as he sat at the table. Marcy had equipped him with a cutting board, knife, and a few vegetables for the salad.

“Where’s Dad?” Patrick asked.

“He’s out in the barn. Feeding time.” Marcy told him.

“Care if I go out?” Patrick asked. Looking at David.

“We’re good, right Mrs. Brewer?” David smiled as he continued cutting vegetables.

“OK. Back in a bit,” Patrick headed, enthusiastically for the door. Ready to get out to the barn.

“David?” Marcy worked on setting the table.

“Yes?”

“I’d like it if… that is, if you would be comfortable with it… I’d like it if you called me Marcy.” She told him.

David’s heart jumped in his chest. His mouth pulled to the side. A satisfied smile. “I would be very happy to do that, Marcy.”

++++++

“I didn’t change into my chore clothes, but I’m happy to help feed,” Patrick said as he entered the barn.

Clint turned and smiled as he dumped feed into the horse’s feeding dish, “Need to freshen everyone’s water.”

“On it,” Patrick set about dumping water dishes, rinsing them out with the hose and refilling them. Horses. Pigs. Cow. Chickens.

The Brewers didn’t live on a farm. Far from it. It was a small-ish property outside of town. The place where Patrick was raised. Each of the Brewers worked in town as Patrick was growing up.

Though they didn’t rely on the farm for their livelihood, they’d always had a few animals. A vegetable garden every summer. Clint liked the idea of raising Patrick to understand the responsibility of caring for animals. The importance of understanding where your food comes from. He always felt like Patrick learned his work ethic in that barn.

Patrick always felt closest to his dad when he was working in the barn. They’d had some of their most important talks there. He liked how a barn smelled. Liked how animals responded to him. Liked how he just knew things about how to care for animals that he learned from his Dad. They, of course, had many things in common. Not the least of which was a shared love of business and math. But there. In the barn? That’s when Patrick felt most like Clint Brewer’s son.

“Get settled?” Clint asked.

“Yup.” Patrick ran the hose into the pigsty’s water trough.

“Seems like you made good time.” His dad commented.

“He slept for about three hours straight,” Patrick grinned as he knelt down to pet one of the baby pigs.

“When they sleep you don’t have to stop as often.” Clint said knowingly.

“You have a nice litter here, Dad.” Patrick said. Scratching behind the ears of another piglet.

“Want to count legs for me?” His dad teased him. An old joke between the two of them.

Patrick chuckled. “Looks like they’re all accounted for.”

++++++

They talked easily while they ate dinner. Talked about the next day. Barbecue at lunch and later in the early evening, David and Patrick were going to go join Patrick’s old friends at Rachel’s parents’ cabin. They’d spend Sunday, just the four of them. No family and no friends. Just relaxing together.

David noticed the pictures on the refrigerator. The baseball cards that he had given Patrick’s mom. Both of them were there. One of Patrick. One of David. Held to the refrigerator with the baseball themed magnets that David had given her.

If you’d asked David in that moment, he’d tell you that he was comfortable there. _In that moment_. But if he were truly honest with you, he would tell you that he was terrified of what the whole weekend would hold. His stomach had fluttered every time he thought of meeting the throngs of Brewers they were expecting at the barbecue. And if he allowed himself to linger on the thought of meeting Patrick’s friends from high school, he thought he might lose his dinner.

As they finished eating, Patrick said he’d like to take David on a walk.

“After I help clean up,” David told him.

Clint shook his head and stood. “You boys go. Mom and I can do this.”

++++++

They walked slowly across the back yard toward the barn. David looped an arm through Patrick’s. Squeezed him. “Patrick, it’s so lovely here. I’d forgotten how nice it is. It’s very relaxing.”

“I’m so happy right now, David,” Patrick told him.

David leaned against him as they walked. Neither speaking. They walked past the barn, down to the end of the field. The sun was nearly set.

“I used to come down here when I’d hide. When I’d run away from something. Gettin’ in trouble, or when I was avoiding dealing with somethin’.” Patrick told him.

“Why down here?” David asked him.

“The first time, I thought I was going to run away. But the barbed wire fence stopped me. I could have climbed through it, but… I guess seeing it made me realize that was my boundary.” Patrick told him. “Dad found me out here. Took me into the barn to talk it out.”

David stopped when Patrick did. Moved his arm from being linked with Patrick’s to encircling Patrick’s body. One arm around Patrick’s back, his other hand pressed against Patrick’s chest. Both hands rubbed Patrick – one on his back, one on his chest – while Patrick continued to talk.

“You can’t see down here from the house. It just… seemed like a good place to come when I needed to get away from all of it.” Patrick told him.

“So… like an early version of your hikey-run things,” David said, imagining a young Patrick facing anything that was so big that he needed to run from those parents of his. 

Patrick chuckled, “Something like that.”

“Are you done running, Mr. Brewer?” David asked him. Pressed his forehead to Patrick’s.

“I’ve got nothing else to hide, David. There’s nothing else to run from.” Patrick told him.

“M’Kay,” David said. Though he wasn’t certain he believed him, he was not going to argue the point in that moment.

They stood together and watched the sun finish slipping beneath the horizon. David looked up at the orange, pink, and purple sky and said quietly, “It’s kind of cool out here. I really want you to take me into the barn where it’s warmer… so we can neck.”

++++++

Clint made his way across the back yard. Ready to complete his last chore of the night. Shut out the barn lights. Lock it up before he headed up to bed.

He rounded the corner and saw Patrick at the back end of the barn. Patrick’s back was to him. He was looking down.

“Where’s David?” Clint asked.

Patrick’s head whipped around quickly, “Dad. Now’s not a good time.”

Clint, realizing what was happening, immediately turned his back to the barn. “Lock up for me tonight. OK, Son?” He called as he walked away, not waiting to hear Patrick’s response.

Clint chuckled as he walked quickly across the back yard toward the house.

++++++

When they went into the barn, they’d first sat on the haybales near the front door. David’s tongue licking into Patrick’s mouth. Patrick’s fingers in David’s hair. David’s hand rubbing Patrick’s inner thigh.

But as Patrick began to slide his hand into David’s pants, David stood and pulled him further back into the barn. Out of the sight of anyone who might have happened by.

“Where are we going?” Patrick asked him, drowsy with lust.

“Just… away from the door,” David had told him.

The last stall at the back of the structure was unoccupied and a stack of hay provided a nice, solid wall for Patrick to lean against as David dropped to his knees in front of him.

This would not be the first time Patrick had made out in the barn, nor would it be the first oral he’d received there. It would be, however, the best blowjob in that barn that he’d ever experienced; of that he had no doubt.

David had unfastened Patrick’s belt and jeans. Had tugged his jeans down; tugged them just below his hips so that his cock would be easily accessed.

Patrick draped one arm along the top of the stack of haybales he leaned against. His other hand rested on David’s head. He stroked his fingers through David’s hair as he looked down and enjoyed watching David’s mouth open around him.

He loved watching David suck on him. Bob his head on his cock. God it turned him on as he watched David lick from the base to the tip of his cock and then pull him into his mouth.

“Fuck David,” Patrick said as he looked down at him.

“Where’s David?” Patrick heard his dad’s voice behind him.

Patrick’s head quickly jerked up and he turned to look behind himself, toward the voice of his dad. Looked at the doorway of the barn and saw his Dad standing there. Hands in his pockets, smile on his face.

At the same time, David pulled off Patrick’s cock. The separation of the two made a loud POP sound. Loud enough that it registered with Patrick. Quiet enough that he hoped his dad didn’t hear it.

“Fuck,” David whispered.

David’s hands dropped away from Patrick’s body. David stilled. Frozen. Hoping he was hidden enough.

“Dad. Now’s not a good time,” Patrick said quickly. Harshly.

He was both relieved and horrified that his dad immediately turned around. The movement told him that his dad knew what he’d walked in on. “Lock up for me tonight. OK, Son?”

“OK.” Patrick said lamely as his dad retreated from the building.

Patrick turned back around and looked down at David.

David sat back, his ass resting on his feet. His hands sitting in his lap. Patrick’s dick still very much interested in front of him. He looked up at Patrick.

They were silent for a moment longer and then they both began to laugh.

++++++

Marcy turned the page in her book and looked up at the door when he came into the room.

She stopped reading to watch him. She liked when he came fresh from the shower with only his towel wrapped around his waist. After all these years, she loved to see her husband’s body. She watched him finish drying off. Eyed him as he bent over to pull on his underwear. His pajama bottoms. Slide his t-shirt over his head.

Clint sat on his side of the bed. Plugged in his phone. Set his alarm.

There was a knock at their door.  
  
“Yup.” Clint called.

Patrick slowly opened the door and peered in. “Barn’s locked up tight, Dad.” Patrick said rather sheepishly.

“Get everything taken care of?” Patrick’s dad grinned at him.

Patrick shut his eyes and blushed. “Yeah.”

“Did David get settled into his room?” Marcy asked, completely unaware of the communication that her husband and son were having.

“He’s downstairs. I checked all the doors. Everything’s locked,” Patrick told them.

“Sleep well, Honey,” Marcy told him. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“Good night, Son,” Clint told him.

“Night.” Patrick pulled the door shut and then opened it again. His head peaked in again. “Sorry, Dad.” He added.

“Nothing for you to apologize for. I’m sorry I interrupted.” Clint told him.

After Patrick left the room, door shut, lights off, Clint settled into bed.

“What’s he sorry for?” She asked him.

“When I went out to shut down the barn, he and David were out there,” Clint told her. He stretched out his arm as she snuggled up to him. Rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her.

“What were they doing?” She asked.

“Well…” Clint was hesitant to tell her. But he also thought she should know that her house rules didn’t stop things from happening in the barn. “Can’t say for sure. But I _can say_ that it looked like he was getting a blow job.”

“Clinton!” Marcy exclaimed as her hand smacked her husband right in the middle of his chest as she sat up.

He chuckled. “Seriously… proud dad moment. My son can get it.”

“This is _not funny_ ,” she said. “We have a house rule. No sex if you’re not married.”

“Seems to me a young Marcy Brewer used to believe that oral sex isn’t sex.” He teased her. Moved both of his hands behind his head as he looked up at her.

She smacked him in the chest again, “You stop that.”

She laughed. Settled down by him, again. Head on his shoulder. His arm wrapped around her. His hand rubbed up and down her back.

“She used to play fast and loose with the rules around sex,” Clint said as he looked up at the ceiling. A chuckle in his voice.

“Clint. Be nice. You know why we have the house rule,” She told him.

“I’m thinking the house rule was so that he wouldn’t end up getting someone pregnant when he was a teenager or in college,” Clint told her.

She pulled the covers up over them. Curled into the warmth of his body.

“Not sure if you remember your high school health class, Dear.” Clint told her as he rolled her, pushing her onto her back. Leaned over her. A smile on his face. “Those two don’t have the mechanics to get pregnant.”

She reached a hand up to cup his cheek. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I just…” She faltered. She had no reason for it. She never really did.

He was right. When Patrick was a young, popular boy in high school, Marcy worried he would make an irrational decision in the heat of the moment and get someone pregnant. It was why she and Clint had been so adamant about teaching him safe sex practices from a young age. She didn’t want Patrick or Rachel to have to deal with an unexpected pregnancy. She wanted them to both finish college and get a good start in their careers before they took that step.

So, she had made the house rule about sex before marriage. But that wasn’t what it was all about in her mind’s eye. But how did she say, “I don’t want you to make a baby yet” to someone who likely didn’t ever think about the implications of such a situation. So, she made it about sex and marriage.

And then as they prepared to have David in their home for the weekend, Marcy felt like she had to stick to her rules. And it all felt so… antiquated.

She moved under him. Leaned up and kissed him and then rolled onto her side away from him. He knew the move. It wasn’t rolling away from him, it was wanting to be held. Spooned.  
  
He pulled her close. She lifted her arm in invitation for him to wrap his arm around her. Tuck his arm under hers.

A movement as old as their relationship. A comforting hug.

He kissed her shoulder. She rolled slightly back and into his warmth. Happy. Content in her husband’s arms.

And… her boy was home for the whole weekend.

++++++

“Wait. I’m going to shut off my light,” David said.

Patrick waited. Listened to him move. Listened to him get back into the bed. Heard him settle in.

“I’m back,” David told him.

“I’m just going to come down stairs. This is ridiculous,” Patrick told him.

“No. You’re not.” David told him. “Stay put.”

“It’s ridiculous that we’re in two different rooms here,” Patrick told him.

“It’s not ridiculous to Marcy,” David said.

“Marcy, huh?” Patrick teased.

“Marcy and I are on a first name basis now,” Patrick could hear him smiling through the phone.

“You’re very pleased with the fact that she told you that you could use her first name.” Patrick noted.

“I am,” David said.

“She likes you a lot,” Patrick told him.

“I like her, too,” David said. “Now… your dad is a tougher nut to crack.”

“He likes you, too.” Patrick told him.

“Did you talk to him when you went upstairs?”

“Told him we locked up. Apologized,” Patrick said.

“Not in front of your mom, I hope.” David told him.

“Yeah.” Patrick said. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Ummm. Because I don’t want her to know we were necking out in the barn.” David said.

“That wasn’t my neck you had in your mouth, David.” Patrick teased.

“You know what I mean,” David said.

“Wouldn’t matter if I said anything in front of her or not. Dad was going to tell her. They don’t keep secrets.” Patrick said.

David was quiet. He knew this was the second time in one evening that Patrick had brought up secrets. Knew that Patrick was inviting him to bring up the thing that was sitting between them. Patrick not having told David about not being out to his parents. Patrick knowing David wanted to discuss it.

“M’Kay. If Marcy gets upset, I’m blaming you.” David wasn’t ready to talk about it all with him yet.

“Me? You’re the one who wanted to go into the barn,” Patrick said.

“No,” David said. “I innocently followed you in and succumbed to your desire. I am powerless in your presence.”

“Oh. That’s your story, huh?” Patrick chuckled.

“And I’m sticking to it,” David teased.

“Thank you for finishing after he left.” Patrick told him.

“I am nothing if not someone you can rely on to finish a job.” David said seriously.

“That’s the best blow job I’ve ever received in that barn.” Patrick told him.

“Mr. Brewer. Are you telling me that you’ve been fellated in that barn before?” David asked him as he rolled over in bed. Tucked the phone under his ear.

“I think we’ve established that blow jobs in the past can’t officially be counted as blow jobs if we judge them by what I receive now,” Patrick said. Then he added, “To be fair the skill sets cannot be compared at all.” 

“Thankyouverymuch,” David told him.

“Oh. No.” Patrick said. “Thank _YOU_ very much.”

David didn’t respond.

Patrick heard him breathing.

“You OK?” Patrick asked him.

“MmHmm.” David said quietly.

Patrick’s voice dropped lower. Quiet. “Want me to come down. I don’t have to stay.”

“No,” David breathed. “Just talk to me.”

“I wish I was touching you right now. My hand where yours is.” Patrick told him.

He heard David exhale into the phone.

“I waited all week to touch you. I missed having you in my bed this week.” He told David.

He listened to David’s quiet breathing.

“Have you been missing _me_?” Patrick asked him.

“Yes,” David whispered. “Touched myself last night. Looking at your picture.”

“Sometimes I stand in the shower and smell your shower soap. I touch myself while I smell you.” Patrick told him.

He heard David’s sharp inhalation.

“Taste yourself for me, David,” Patrick told him.

He listened and heard David put a finger in his mouth and suck it.

“You’re making me hard, again, David.”

“I love your farmer cock,” David told him.

“You like when I fuck you with it,” Patrick told him. His voice deep and quiet.

“I do, Mr. Brewer. I like when you bend me over and …”

There was a knock at Patrick’s door. “Patrick?” He heard his mom.

“Fuck,” Patrick whispered.  
  
He sat up in bed. Held a pillow over his lap. Didn’t hang up the call with David.

He cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

“May I come in?” His mother asked.

“Sure, Mom. Yeah.” Patrick said.

She opened the door and peeked her head in. “You settled in OK, Honey?”

“I am. Thanks.” Patrick said.

“Wanted to remind you that some of the family will start arriving early in the morning. Maybe around 8 or so. But you boys are welcome to sleep in. No need for you to worry about a thing.” She told him.

“Great. I’ll text David. I’m sure he’ll appreciate some extra sleep in the morning.” Patrick told her.

She moved into the room. Leaned over and kissed Patrick on the forehead. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She told him not for the first time that day.

“Thanks, Mom. Glad to be here.”

“You sleep well. If you need anything, you let me know.” She told him.

“Yeah. Thanks. Good night, Mom.”

“Good night, my sweet boy,” She said.

After she pulled the door shut behind herself. Patrick held the phone up to his ear.

“Sorry, David.” He told him.

“Well that just killed the mood,” he said.

“Yeah… you don’t come back from a forehead kiss from your mom.” Patrick huffed out an embarrassed laugh.

David chuckled. “It’s OK. It was good while it lasted,”

“I love you, David.”

“I know you do, Mr. Brewer. And I love you.”

“I know you do.” Patrick told him. “I’m glad you’re here with me.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” David said. “Well… maybe I’d rather be in your arms. But I think you know what I mean.”

“I do.” Patrick told him.

“Get some sleep. If I know you, you’ll be up early to greet those cousins you’re so fond of talking about,” David told him.

“I’ll let you sleep in,” Patrick told him.

David grinned into the phone, “You fucking better.”

++++++

David rolled over. Adjusted the pillow under his head, tugged the blanket up to his shoulders, and intended to snuggle in and go back into sleep.  
  
He opened one eye as he did so and was startled. He jumped. Both eyes then opened. Blanket pulled up to his chin.

“Hello,” he said.

There, beside the bed, were three small faces. The faces of three youths. Two similar in size. A little blonde female. A little red-headed boy with glasses. And shorter than both, a smaller child who smiled and had snot running out of its nose. David had no guess as to the gender of that one.

“Hi,” the boy said.

“You’re Uncle Patrick’s boyfriend,” the girl said.

“I am,” David responded. “Who are you?”

“I’m Avery,” she told him. “This is Oliver.” She pointed to the redhead. David noted that the thin little boy wore a blue button up shirt that was tucked into jeans that were tucked into a pair of cowboy boots. David smiled at him. The boy looked seriously at David.

David stuck a finger out from under the blanket and pointed at the smallest one. “Who’s that?”

“That’s Jamie,” She said.

“Nice to meet you,” David said as he reached for his phone.

++++++

Patrick was in the back stall mucking it out. Glad his dad saved some chores for him. Not realizing his dad was thankful for a week of not having to do the mucking. He scooted the shovel along the floor of the stall.

The phone in his pocket vibrated.

_Boyfriend (8:49 am):_

‘Patrick there are youths in my bedroom.’

‘Please make it stop.’

Patrick chuckled. Leaned his shovel against the stall wall.

Headed out of the barn.

“Where you going?” His dad asked as Patrick walked by him.

“Up to the house for a minute. Be back.” Patrick called over his shoulder.

++++++

He walked down the hall quietly.

“That’s correct. We work together,” he heard David say.

“But you’re also Uncle Patrick’s boyfriend?” he heard Oliver say.

“That’s correct.” David said.

“Mom said boyfriend means you kiss. And that you love Patrick.” Avery said.

“Your mom is correct,” David said.

Patrick stepped into the doorway, “What’s going on in here?” He asked as he leaned against the door jamb.

“Hi, Uncle Patrick!” the kids greeted him. Ran to him and wrapped their arms around his waist.

Jamie looked up at him and flashed a smile. Patrick noticed that he needed his nose wiped. He grabbed a few tissues off the night stand and leaned over to wipe his nose. “Here you go Jamie. Let’s clean that up.”

“Thank you. That was unpleasant,” David said.

Patrick’s mom, having heard people down the hall came in to investigate. “What’s going on in here?” She asked.

“David had some visitors wake him up.” Patrick said.

“Oh, David. I’m so sorry. Kids. Scoot, now. Out. Leave him alone.” She herded the children out of the room as though they were livestock.

David looked up at Patrick who was leaning, again, in the doorway.

“I forgot how good you look in chore clothes,” David told him.

“Packed them just for you,” Patrick winked at him.

“No. You didn’t, but thanks for saying that,” David wiggled his eyebrows.

“Sorry they woke you. They must have been curious about what you look like,”

“They certainly got to see me looking my best,” David ran a hand through his hair.

“You look good to me,” Patrick moved to sit on the side of the bed. Put his fingers into David’s hair as David lay back on his pillow and closed his eyes.

“I missed you last night,” David said. “Our phone session didn’t quite satisfy.”

“Same,” Patrick leaned over and kissed him.

“Patrick? Are you going to introduce us?” He heard his cousins coming down the hallway.  
  
He quickly stood and moved to the door. Met them in the hallway as he closed the door behind himself. “Let the man get dressed for godsake.”

++++++

Marcy greeted David in the kitchen and wanted to cook him breakfast. He tried to tell her that he was fine and didn’t need to eat. She insisted he eat something. They settled on cereal. While he ate, some of Patrick’s cousins and an aunt came into the kitchen. David met each of them.

If he were being honest with you, he’d tell you that he didn’t remember one of their names. The only names that were burned into his brain were Avery, Oliver, and Jamie. He did learn who was the mother to each. Avery and Jamie were siblings.

One of Patrick’s cousins told David story after story as he ate… Kate? Sarah? Robin? He couldn’t remember which one she was. Stories about the kids and what they’d been doing at school or something. He nodded and tried to pay attention.

When there was a lull in conversation he turned to Patrick’s mom. “Do we know where Patrick went?” David asked her.

“He went back to the barn. He’s doing chores.” She told him. “You’re welcome to go down there. You don’t have to stay here in the house.”

“Do you need help getting ready for the barbecue?” David asked her.

“No, Honey. We have plenty of hands here. If you want to help, come back. But we’re fine. You’re our guest,” Marcy told him.

David thanked her for breakfast and left the noise of the house behind him.

++++++

David stood in the doorway of the barn and watched him. He was working hard. Doing that thing in the stalls of the barn that he did at Terri and Amy’s.

David took a picture of him while he worked. He looked good. He wore the loose, faded Levi’s that he cuffed at the ankle. The brown, lace-up work boots. The old, thin, worn t-shirt. The ball cap on his head.

Patrick turned to push the wheelbarrow out of the barn. Saw David.  
  
“Hey,” He moved to David. Pulled him into his arms.

David wrapped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders. “Hi,” he said. He willingly and easily moved into the kiss that Patrick initiated.

One hand on the back of Patrick’s head, David tilted his head so that the ballcap didn’t poke him. He pulled on the hat, turned it on Patrick’s head so that the bill was in the back. “That’s better,” he murmured against Patrick’s lips.

“They’re kissing!” he heard a child yelling behind him. One of the children. One he’d never seen before had her hands up to her mouth and was yelling at the top of his lungs to someone. David had no idea who. “I just saw it. They’re kissing!”

David closed his eyes and pulled his head away from Patrick. Dropped his arms. Stepped back. “Is this what we’re doing today?” he asked Patrick.

“I’m sorry,” Patrick said quietly so only David could hear.

Patrick turned quickly toward the child. Bent low and said in a playfully gruff voice, “Hey, Peyton! I’m gonna need you to come give me a hug.”

The giggled child ran toward Patrick and wrapped her arms around his waist. Patrick lifted her and threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “You’ve gotten big!” he said as he walked toward the house, leaving David behind him. Alone in the barn.

David watched him go. The child bouncing on his shoulder laughing.

He looked behind him to the area where haybales were stacked. He moved toward them, sat on a bale of hay and waited. Pulled out his phone. Opened the app that allowed him to watch security footage of the store. Watched Alexis helping people. There were about five people in the store. Looked like a group of men who likely came together. Some of their out-of-town day-trippers. Alexis flitted between them. Held up an Alpaca throw to show one of them. He smiled as he watched her take it to the register to ring it up.

He heard something moving in the area behind the stack of hay where he sat. He moved away quickly, fearing it was an animal. He peered over the stack and saw Oliver crouched down and sitting quietly.

“Hi, Oliver,” He said.

“Shhh. I’m hiding.” The boy said.

“Ohh. Right.” David said, as though he understood why this small child was hiding in the barn. “I’ll pretend like you’re not here.” David turned around. Continued to give his phone his attention.

Opened the store’s social media pages. He answered a couple of messages that were waiting. Questions about the store.

A child he’d not met before entered the barn. Looked behind the bins on the other side of the barn. The child looked at David, “Have you seen Oliver?”

“Why are you looking for Oliver?” David asked.

“We’re playing hide-n-seek.” The child said.

“Then, I don’t believe I can say that I’ve seen Oliver,” David shook his head.

The kid shrugged and ran back to the house.

“Thank you,” Oliver whispered.

“You’re welcome,” David whispered.

He heard Oliver move. He moved to the end of the stack of haybales. Still hiding, but sitting nearer to David. If David turned his head and leaned a little, he could look down into the brown eyes of the little boy who looked somewhat like a young Patrick. Of course, David acknowledged, the resemblance was mostly due to his attire, and his remarkably similar haircut.

“How long have you been Uncle Patrick’s boyfriend?” He asked David.

“Around a year… give or take,” David said.

“Give or take what?” The boy asked.

“Sorry. It’s an expression. It means not exactly a year. But close.” David clarified.

“Oh,” The boy pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged his thin, spindly little legs.

David sat quietly. Unsure of what to say to the child.

“I think I have a boyfriend,” Oliver said.

David raised an eyebrow. “Oh. That’s nice,” he said.

“I want him to be my boyfriend. I don’t know he if he wants to be my boyfriend, though,” the boy said.

“Oh, Oliver. I’ve been there.” David said.

“Been where?” He asked David.

“Sorry. That’s another expression. It means, I understand because I’ve experienced that myself. Liking a boy and not being sure if he liked me.” David clarified.

“We play at recess together. And sometimes he comes to my house.” Oliver said.

“That sounds fun.” David said. He leaned over to look out of the barn, wondering if Patrick was coming back any time soon.

“Sometimes when we watch tv, he holds my hand,” Oliver said.

David nodded, “Holding hands is nice.”

“Do you hold hands with Uncle Patrick?” He asked.

“Sometimes,” David nodded.

They were quiet for a moment.

“Oliver? How old are you?” David asked.

He peered over the edge of the stack of hay and watched as Oliver’s finger pressed against the bridge of his glasses and pushed them up. “I’m eight and three-quarters.”

David smiled. He remembered being at the age where he figured his partial year age, doing everything he could to get him closer to the next age. “What grade in school does that make you?”

“I’m in third grade. But I go to the fifth-grade room for math,” He said.

“Of course, you do,” David stifled a grin.

“Sorry about that!” Patrick said as he came into the barn. “Had to go see a few more folks who just arrived.” He leaned over and gave David a kiss. Turned to pick up where he left off with the wheelbarrow. Wheeled it out of the barn.

“Does he kiss you _every time_ he sees you?” Oliver asked. His voice sounding shocked.

“Usually,” David said quietly. Still facing away from the child.

“Do you like it?” He asked.

“Why do you ask so many questions?” David asked him.

“I don’t know,” Oliver said.

“For the record, I do like it,” David, still facing away from Oliver, said.

“Like what?” Patrick asked as he walked back into the barn. “Who are you talking to?”

David tilted his head and pointed his finger, indicating that Patrick should look at the end of the stack of hay.  
  
Patrick walked to the end of the haybales and peered around it. Found Oliver, curled in a ball and hiding.  
  
“You playing hide-n-seek?” He asked. He knelt down on one knee.  
  
“Yup.” Oliver told him.

“I used to hide back there. Best spot in the whole place to hide. Nobody ever thinks anyone can fit back there. But we small guys. We always fit.” Patrick winked at him.

David smiled at how Patrick talked to the boy. Kindly. Casually… Comfortably.

“You know the kids are all down there washing up for lunch? I think they’ve all stopped playing.” Patrick told him.

Oliver stood. Brushed off his jeans. And, without saying a word, ran toward the house.

David looked at Patrick, “Do third graders have romantic interests?”

“Does he have a girlfriend?” Patrick asked.

David shook his head. “Boyfriend,” David grinned. Raised an eyebrow.

“Ohhhhhh.” Patrick nodded as he watched his cousin’s son run back to the house.

++++++

They had set up several rows of tables and folding chairs. And scattered around the yard were lawn chairs and a few blankets for those who didn’t want or need to sit at a table.

Patrick’s dad and a couple of the other guys stood around the grill. Several of the women carried food out to the tables. The gender role lines were evident to David as he looked on.

Kids walked around carrying red plastic cups full of Kool-Aid.

David and Patrick stood on the outskirts of it all and watched.

“There are… _far more_ … more than 40 people here, Patrick.” David said. He slid his hand inside the bend of Patrick’s arm. His hand grasped Patrick’s bicep tightly.

“I know,” Patrick said. Reached a hand for David’s and patted it as he felt David’s grip get tighter. “Sorry. I think they all heard I’m gay and came to see it.”

“Or, maybe your parents are so happy you’re home they invited everyone they know,” David put a positive spin on it.

Patrick nodded, “Maybe.”

“Well,” David took a deep breath. Let it out, “Let’s go.” He took a step forward and Patrick moved along with him.

David met cousin after cousin. Aunt and Uncle. He met Mr. Brewer’s parents. He met the children of the cousins. He met neighbors. He was pretty sure there were people he was meeting that Patrick didn’t even know. He shook hands and smiled and nodded. He tried to remember names, but it was not happening.

“David! Come sit by me!” Oliver called to him.

“Let’s go sit by Oliver,” David tugged on Patrick’s arm. “At least I can remember the name of one person here.”

++++++

As kids finished eating, they began to play in the yard. Adults sat and watched them. Patrick got up to play with them. Had a glove and ball and played catch with some of the older kids.

David watched as he teased them. Laughed with them. Stopped and worked with a couple of them on how to best hold the ball and throw it.

Patrick’s mom moved to sit by him. She looped her arm through his. “How are you doing, David? There’s a lot happening here today.”

“I’m not remembering names very well, but I’m enjoying myself,” He told her.

Together they watched Patrick. Both of them lost in their thoughts as onlookers in his playful time with the kids.

“It’s so good to have him home,” Marcy said.

“I know he’s happy to be here.” David leaned against her. He liked her. He truly liked her.

“See that one over there? The one in the green shirt?” Marcy pointed at one of the boys running out in the yard. Playing with a couple of other boys. He ran and dropped and rolled in the grass and then got up and ran some more.

“Mmhmm.” David eyed the boy.

“That’s Benji,” Marcy smiled as she watched him.

David nodded, “OK.”

The boy reared backward, put his hands to his mouth and hollered. A loud yell that made David think of Tarzan. Then he started running quickly through the children, weaving through them before he stopped and rolled in the grass again.

“He is everything Patrick was as a boy. Out of all of them, he’s the most like Patrick was,” She said. Her eyes lingered on Benji.

David turned to look at her, more than a little shocked. “Not Oliver?”

“Oliver? Oh,” Marcy shook her head. “Heavens, no.”

“But look at him? He’s nearly the spitting image.” David said.

“Yes. I see that. He looks like Patrick looks now. And he’s a smart little guy.” Marcy said. “But when Patrick was a boy…He was just like that. Curly head of hair. Loud. Rambunctious. Always moving. Crashing into things.”

She pointed again at the kid in the green shirt who stopped suddenly and began to punch his fists into the air in front of himself as though he were beating up an imaginary foe. Then he ran and tackled one of the other boys to the ground. 

“Really.” David said.

“He ran everywhere. _Everywhere_. And sometimes just stopped in the middle of his run to roll on the ground like he was dodging some sort of attacker. I never understood what he was doing. Clint always said he was imagining being at war or something,” She said.

“May I see some photos while I’m here?” David asked her.

“Of course, you can! We’ll go through some albums tomorrow,” She said. Then added, “It will be a calmer day tomorrow. Just us.” She patted his arm.

“This is really a nice day, Mrs. Brewer. I’m not used to families this large.” David said, “But, I’m really enjoying myself.” He added honestly.

Then David’s eyes were drawn to the boy in the green shirt. He watched him. Tried to imagine Patrick at that age.

++++++

David helped carry empty dishes into the kitchen. Helped roll up the paper tablecloths from the tables and stuffed them into trash bags. When the tables were cleared, while Patrick carried the tables, David helped Patrick’s dad carry the folding chairs to the garage. David handed them to him as he lifted them to the hooks on the wall.

The family and friends who had gathered throughout the morning and stayed through lunch time suddenly began to leave. David joined Patrick on the front porch as he said his goodbyes. Hugging cousin after cousin. Offering high fives and fist-bumps to the children.

Oliver stood in front of David. Somber little boy. He looked up at David and with one finger pushed the bridge of his glasses back up his nose. He solemnly held out a hand to David. David looked down at him and joined him in shaking hands.

“Oliver,” David said, “It was nice to meet you.”

“I might have questions,” Oliver said seriously.

“Patrick has my phone number. You can ask him for it,” David told him.

Oliver nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets as he turned to head toward his family’s minivan.

A loud noise grabbed David’s attention. Patrick was being chased by Benji, the boy in the green shirt. They ran through the cars that were parked in the drive and they ran into the front yard.

Patrick turned and growled at the boy. Then he picked up Benji and flung him over his shoulder. Benji laughed, yelled, and kicked his feet in the air as Patrick hauled him back through the cars in the driveway. He planted him beside yet another minivan and offered a high five to the child. Then Patrick turned to one of his female cousins and gave her a long, affectionate hug.

++++++

Somewhere in the mid-afternoon, it was just the four of them at the house. They settled in the living room. Nobody said much. David assumed that they, like him, were enjoying the quiet, so he didn’t feel compelled to fill the silence.

Patrick’s parents sat in their chairs. David and Patrick sat on the couch.

David leaned over. Rested his head on Patrick’s shoulder. They had a few hours before they had to leave to go meet Patrick’s friends. He was drowsy.

“Why don’t you go take a nap,” Patrick said quietly.

David shook his head. “Don’t want to be rude,” he whispered.

“Come on,” Patrick stood. Held out his hand.

David stood. Held his hand and followed Patrick.

“Be right back, Mom. We can play some music,” he told her.

He led David to his room. Pulled back the covers on the bed. David sat down. Patrick knelt down beside the bed and pulled off David’s shoes. David lay down in bed. Patrick covered him and sat beside him.

David lay on his back. Patrick ran his fingers through David’s hair.

David closed his eyes. Smiled.

“Kids woke you up way too early this morning. I’m sorry about that,” Patrick told him.

“It’s fine,” David shook his head.

“So many people. You met so many today,” Patrick’s fingers caressed David’s cheek. Ran back up through his hair.

“They were nice.” David said, his voice soft.

“You were so patient and kind. Thank you for being who you are, David.” Patrick leaned over. Kissed his forehead. His cheek. His lips.

“Everyone loved you. I love you,” He murmured against David’s lips.

David’s lips curved into that satisfied smile he gives. The one that pulls his mouth to the left.

“Take a nap. Rest.” He kissed his cheek again.

“Please leave the door open,” David said. “I want to hear you play music.”

“You got it.” Patrick told him.

“Please don’t let me sleep too long,” David asked him. “I know it’s not your job to wake me, but today can it be your job to wake me?”

Patrick checked his phone. “If you sleep two hours, we’ll have an hour before we have to leave. How’s that?”

“Yes. Please.” David could feel himself drifting. “I love you, Mr. Brewer,” He whispered.

“I love you, too, David.” With another kiss to David’s forehead, Patrick moved to stand.

David reached for him. Held his hand. Patrick sat back down.

“You have a nice family,” David mumbled.

Patrick’s hand rested on David’s chest. “I’m glad you liked them.”

“Play our song?” David asked.

“I thought you didn’t like it on the piano,” Patrick teased. His finger brushed over the stubble just over David’s upper lip. One of his favorite places.

“When did I say that?” David asked him.

“When we were here before. I played it for you. You said… ‘Let’s just stick to the guitar,’” Patrick rubbed his hand on David’s chest.

David’s lips moved. Curved into a slight, tired smile. “I like the guitar better. But I want to know you’re out there thinking of me.”

“Babe. I’m always thinking of you. All the time.” He leaned over him again. Kissed him lightly on the lips. “Now, go to sleep,” He said. One more kiss on his lips and Patrick moved to the door. Stood there a moment as he watched David roll to his side and pull the covers up to his chin.

Patrick wanted to crawl in bed with him. Wanted to curl up behind him. Be the big spoon. Wanted to offer David warmth and strength.

But he knew he couldn’t. No bed sharing meant no bed sharing, even if it was just a nap. Even if the door were open.

So, he went back out to the living room where his parents sat. He settled in at the piano. His fingers floated over the keys.

His mom moved to sit in the chair nearest the piano. Put her feet up on the ottoman. Leaned back. Ready to listen to her son play.

The three of them in the living room of Patrick’s childhood home. Each sitting where they were when Patrick was 20. And 15. And 10. And 5. A Saturday afternoon. His dad reading. His mom near him at the piano. Listening. And Patrick, playing soothing music.

Only this time,… he was playing for David.

He began the familiar notes to the song.

Sang, just slightly louder than he might normally. Hoping that David at least heard a little bit of it.

 _I call you when I need you and my heart's on fire_ _  
You come to me, wild and wired  
You come to me, give me everything I need_

 _Give me a life time of promises and a world of dreams_ _  
Speak the language of love like you know what it means_

In the other room, David heard his voice. Quietly singing over the gentle notes of the piano. He smiled and immediately began to drift to sleep.

++++++

When he finished the song, his fingers continued to play. Random notes. A few slow runs.

His mom had drifted to sleep while he played. He knew if he stopped playing, she’d wake up.

“Was that Tina Turner’s song?” His dad, who sat behind him, asked.

“Yeah,” Patrick’s fingers continued to move on the keys. Replayed the intro to the song.

“That’s nice. I’ve not heard it like that before,” He said. He turned the page of his magazine.

“It’s our song, Dad,” Patrick’s voice was quiet. Not wanting to wake his mom. “Mine and David’s.”

“It’s nice,” his dad said.

The two men sat in the room. Their backs to one another. Patrick played the piano and softly sang.

Clint sat back and listened to the beautiful voice of his son while he flipped through a magazine.

Content, knowing his boy was home.

Pleased, knowing that his son had found happiness.

++++++

He was at their house again. The one with the big yard and all the trees. He sat on the porch in the rocking chair. Grandma’s quilt draped over his legs. He sipped on a cup of coffee.

The piano music drifted out of the house. He occasionally heard a few words being sung. He leaned back in the chair and watched the sun slowly set over the horizon. The sky turning shades of orange, pink, and purple.

The dog sat beside him and nudged his hand; asked to be pet. David, absent-mindedly moved his hand over the dog’s head. Stroked his soft ears. Shut his eyes and listened to Patrick singing.

When the sun had settled and the sky grew a little darker, he grew chilled. He stood and gathered his things. The blanket and mug.  
  
He went into the house. Toasty warm. There in the small living room, near the lit fireplace, sitting at the piano tucked over in the corner, sat Patrick. He smiled at David as he walked in. Their eyes locked while David sat down on the end of the couch. Tucked into the corner to resume his listening.

Patrick sang their song to him while the dog crawled up on the couch and rested his head on David’s lap. Nudged David’s hand to get him to pet him, again.

++++++

“Hey,” Patrick spoke quietly to him. “David. Wake up.”

He reached for his hand. Held it. Sat down beside him on the bed. Squeezed his hand. “David.” Kissed the palm of his hand.

David made sounds. Rolled onto his back.

Patrick patted David’s chest. “Hey. Time to wake up.”

David opened an eye and looked at him. “I was having the best dream.”

“Tell me,” Patrick’s hand moved to his face.

At feeling Patrick’s warm palm against his cheek, David leaned his head. Pressed into the feel of it.

“We were at our house. You were playing the piano for me.” David told him.

“You’ve been dreaming of us in a house for a while,” Patrick told him.

“I have,” David stretched his legs. He moved one of his hands to rest on Patrick’s lap. Ran his hand up Patrick’s inner thigh.

“I have a piano at this house?” Patrick asked. Amused at that particular detail.

“Of course. I need to be serenaded,” David smiled. Both eyes open now.

What else happened in your dream.

“I’m not sure why, but the dog is allowed on the furniture,” David rolled his eyes.

Patrick chuckled, “So you’re saying you’re uncharacteristically relaxed about the rules in your dreams.” He teased David.

“Apparently,” David nodded, seriously.

+++

End Part 1 of 3

+++


	35. Home: Part 2 of 3 – Rachel and Zach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick spend the evening with Patrick's friends from high school at Rachel's family cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place between 5.12 and 5.13 and is part 2 of 3 chapters. 
> 
> ******SPOILER ALERT******  
> Do not read the warnings below (actually don't read any more of this Author's Note) if you feel you will not be triggered by anything I write, but you may be upset by learning things that may happen within the chapter before they happen. 
> 
> Trigger Warnings do spill the beans. That's the reason they're warnings.  
> Later in my author notes I discuss themes within the story that may give away plot points before you want to see them. 
> 
> ***END SPOILER ALERT***
> 
> +++
> 
> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> Arguing between former romantic partners with accusations of cheating discussed. Yelling during argument. Female voice being interrupted.  
> **** TRIGGER WARNING****  
> Physical fight between two men. Includes someone being punched. (neither punch nor wounds/blood are discussed)  
> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> Religion and church briefly discussed.  
> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> One song included in this chapter was a featured song in a chapter in LOL:Part 2, and it also came with a warning, because the song was sung by an actor who (in real life) took his own life after pleading guilty to federal charges (I won't write details here). I chose this recording of the song because it is the shortest version of the song I could find and I think the singing voice of the actor is relatively close to Patrick's voice. I am re-using the song for a very specific plot point (I won't write details here). If you don't want to hear this actor's voice sing the song, do not click on the link.  
> ****END WARNINGS****
> 
> +++
> 
> All right. Here's the thing. I've struggled with this one, because I know many in our fandom love Rachel and write her very differently than the way I have written her below. I don't dislike the character, but I think that (1) there's a reason we only see her once in the whole series and (2) I have my own personal and therapeutic view of the dynamics of a situation such as hers & Patrick's. So, I am writing something that I think is very much plausible. It is my take and I own it. Not everyone will like it and that's ok. My aim was intended to not gloss over real feelings of people who may have experienced something similar and, perhaps, offer a validation of negative feelings in situations such as theirs.
> 
> Nothing I write here is intended to demean Rachel's existence, nor is it intended to say that the way other writers have explored the Rachel/Patrick friendship is wrong. As always, I'm happy to discuss further in the comments section or in DM on Twitter.
> 
> This chapter is not as light-hearted as the previous chapter. But rest assured, our David and Patrick will end softly in part 3 of 3. If you do not wish to read angst, you may want to skip this chapter. If you don't want to be left hanging, you may want to hold off reading this chapter until part 3 posts. 
> 
> Finally, I have waited a long time to add the last song into this chapter. Like you, I've listened to it more times than I can count. But, I've never watched the movie. I've held off watching it because I didn't want anything in that story to shade my view of the song before I used it. From early on in my writing process, I've known that I would find a way to write Patrick and Rachel singing together (and I've always imagined Rachel being the one to sing it with him). I have always held the song because I wanted them singing it together when Patrick was home. I had planned on it being used exactly how I used it here, so I'm glad it worked (at least I think it worked). 
> 
> Now, I feel like I can go watch the movie. (I'm told I will likely be disappointed, but... *Shoulder shrug emoji*).
> 
> +++
> 
> Enjoy. 
> 
> -PD
> 
> +++

++++++

“Hey,” Patrick spoke quietly to him. “David. Wake up.”

He reached for his hand. Held it. Sat down beside him on the bed. Squeezed his hand. “David.” Kissed the palm of his hand.

David made sounds. Rolled onto his back.

Patrick patted David’s chest. “Hey. Time to wake up.”

David opened an eye and looked at him. “I was having the best dream.”

“Tell me,” Patrick’s hand moved to his face.

At feeling Patrick’s warm palm against his cheek, David tilted his head. Pressed into the feel of it.

“We were at our house. You were playing the piano for me.” David told him.

“This isn’t your first dream of us being in a house,” Patrick told him.

“I know,” David stretched his legs. He moved one of his hands to rest on Patrick’s lap. Ran his hand up Patrick’s inner thigh.

“I have a piano at this house?” Patrick asked. Amused at that particular detail.

“Of course. I need to be serenaded,” David smiled. Both eyes open now.

What else happened in your dream.

“I’m not sure why, but the dog is allowed on the furniture,” David rolled his eyes.

Patrick chuckled, “So you’re saying you’re uncharacteristically relaxed about the rules in your dreams.” He teased David.

“Apparently,” David nodded, seriously.

++++++

After David freshened up in the bathroom. After he changed clothes and was ready for their evening out with Patrick’s old friends. After he tidied up his room so that if Marcy entered, she’d know he was respecting the space. Only then did he go in search of Patrick.

When David entered the kitchen, Patrick was sitting with his parents at the table. They were chatting quietly, waiting for him.

Patrick’s eyes traveled over him when he entered. From his shirt, down his long legs to his ankles. A slow smile crossed Patrick’s face. He loved what David chose to wear to meet Patrick’s friends. The same thing he wore on their first date.

Over the past year, he’d worn the same outfit a few times. And Patrick had realized along the way that David donned these particular clothes when he wanted to feel brave. Sure of himself.

Patrick stood, “Ready?”

David nodded and held up a finger to Patrick, indicating that Patrick should wait just a moment.

He turned to Patrick’s mom. “Marcy? What time do we leave for church in the morning?”

Suddenly, three sets of eyes turned to him. All quiet.

David shook his head, raised his hands in a shrug. “What?!” He asked as his eyes moved from one to the other.

“Church?” Patrick asked.

“Tomorrow’s Sunday. I assumed we’d be going with your parents to church. I packed an outfit for church.” David told him.

“I didn’t pack an outfit for church,” Patrick said.

One hand moved to his waist, the other he held up in front of himself, “Why not?”

“We weren’t planning on going to church tomorrow,” Marcy interrupted them.

David was quiet. Eyed Marcy. Then his eyes shifted to Patrick’s dad, then to Patrick. “Why not?” David knew that the Brewers were regular church-goers. He knew that Marcy was a member of the church’s quilting circle.

Clint sipped on his coffee and said nothing. He knew better than to tell her he told her so. Instead, he watched his wife over his coffee cup. They’d had the discussion. Clint had told her, “Just ask the boy. Don’t make an assumption.” But Marcy, not wanting David to feel uncomfortable, had ignored Clint’s recommendation and made the unilateral decision.

Marcy looked at Clint, then at David. Then she looked at Patrick.

“Someone needs to say something here,” David said.

“David, I assumed that you would rather not attend church,” Marcy said. Then she added, “Patrick told us…”

David’s head snapped toward Patrick. Their eyes locked. David raised one eyebrow but said nothing.

“I have no idea,” He told David as he shrugged. Then he turned to his mom, “Is this because I told you David had a bar mitzvah when he was a kid? That he went to Hebrew school?”

Marcy nodded her head, “I didn’t want to force you to go to church.”

“Marcy,” David moved to sit down beside her. “The benefit of being raised the way I was is that I’m a delightful half-half situation. I don’t subscribe to any one religion.” Then, to lighten the atmosphere around them, he added, “I’m equally uncomfortable in both places of worship.”

Clint chuckled.

“David, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Marcy rested a hand on his knee.

“You didn’t. I promise. Thank you for worrying about me.” David told her. “If I’m being honest? I love sleeping in on a Sunday morning. But if the people in your home attend church on Sunday morning and I’m a guest in your home, then I am prepared to go to church.” In David’s mind it was simply proper etiquette. Houseguest 101.

Patrick sat back down at the table. “Mom. Dad. Are you worried about having us in church? Is there a problem with… us being there?”

“Absolutely not.” Clint spoke for the first time in the conversation. “You know our church is inclusive. Always has been.”

“I know it is,” Patrick told him. “Wantin’ to make sure that you are OK with us being there.”

Marcy spoke, “We are proud of you, Patrick. Proud of you. Us not planning to go was out of respect for what I assumed was David’s family’s practice. I won’t make assumptions anymore. I’ll just ask.”

++++++

Patrick pulled his car out of the driveway, headed toward Rachel’s family’s cabin at the lake.

“What was all that?” David asked him.

“I don’t know. My parents are just…”

David cut him off. “Not your parents. You. What were you doing back there?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking…”

David cut him off again. “Seemed like you were accusing your parents of being ashamed of you.”

“No. No I didn’t.” Patrick quickly bit at him.

“Uhhh. You did. And you need to stop that. If you’re internalizing some sort of fear, you need to talk about it. But your parents have been nothing but supportive of you… of us… since you came out to them.” David scolded him.

Patrick shook his head. “You’re right.”

They were quiet as Patrick drove.

David reached a hand over and rested it on Patrick’s thigh. His voice gentler, he asked, “Where’s that coming from?”

Patrick shook his head. Quietly answered, “I don’t know.” And he didn’t. He really didn’t. But he couldn’t shake a nagging feeling in his gut. A feeling he couldn’t explain.

“You worried about tonight?” David asked.

“Maybe.” His stomach did a flip-flop.

“Tell me. What worries you?” David asked him.

Patrick was quiet.

“We don’t have to go. Turn the car around,” David told him. “If you’re worried that they won’t accept you, then fuck ‘em. Don’t even go.”

“It’s not about us. It’s about them.” Patrick said.

“I’m going to need more information than that,” David said.

“I haven’t talked to any of them in over a year. It’s been a year and when things were good… or bad… I didn’t reach out to them. I’m… They’re… I don’t know, David.” Patrick said.

“Have you outgrown them?” David asked him. 

“I’ve always thought of them as my best friends.” Patrick said. “My best friends since high school.”

“Your best friends FROM high school,” David corrected him.

“What’s the difference?” Patrick asked.

David explained, “They were your best friends when you were in _high school_. Maybe after. But if they were your best friends over the last year or so… wouldn’t you have been in contact with them? Or they with you?”

“I guess,” Patrick shrugged.

“We’re friends with people in high school because… we kind of have to be. They are our community. But we grow from there, most of us. We… develop different personalities and… interests. Surely you aren’t the same now as you were then.” David said.

Patrick chuckled. Moved a hand off the wheel to hold David’s hand. “Yeah… no. I’m different. Some of them aren’t, I think.”

“Mmm.” David made a sound.

“I do want them to meet you though. I want to see what they’re up to. See… where I stand with them, I guess.” Patrick told him.

“That’s a good thing. Catching up with old friends.” David said. He squeezed Patrick’s hand, “But in the end, whether they accept you … us… or not? Their reaction doesn’t change your day-to-day world. Does it?”

“You’re right.” Patrick nodded.

“Given that it’s been a year… can you walk in already accepting you’re not going to have that much in common with your friends?” David asked him. “Can tonight be about connecting with Rachel as a friend? Catching up with your old friend Zach? Can it be about adjusting to seeing Rachel and Zach as a couple?”

“It can.” Patrick nodded solemnly.

“You just hadn’t thought of it that way?” David asked him.

“I’m not sure what I thought.” Patrick told him.

“If I’m wrong… tell me I’m wrong. If you want to turn around? Turn around.” David told him. “This is about you being comfortable, Patrick.”

“I know,” Patrick nodded. “And I am. I am.”

They were quiet the rest of the way to the cabin.

As they pulled down the lane, David told him, “I’ll drive us home. Don’t worry about me. Drink what you want to drink. If you need to go have a private talk, do it. I’ll be fine.”

Patrick put the car in park. Turned in his seat to look at David. “You sure?”

“I’m absolutely positive. This is your night, Mr. Brewer. I’m here to support you. Don’t worry about me.” David assured him.

“I love you, David,” Patrick told him as he reached his left hand for David. Wrapped it around the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss.

++++++

The four guys had been hauling in the coolers of beer from the back of Zach’s truck when Patrick’s car pulled into the drive. When they were on the front porch, they turned, ready to greet their friend.

That’s when they spotted him. Pulling his boyfriend into a very passionate kiss.

“Fuuuuuck.” Zach whispered under his breath as he watched.

++++++

When Patrick released his hold on David and turned to get out of the car, he looked up toward the cabin. There on the porch, making no move to hide the fact that they were staring, were Patrick’s four oldest friends.

His stomach did another flip-flop.

“Here we go,” He said quietly as he grabbed his ball cap and opened the door.

“You’ve got this,” David told him.

++++++

  
Patrick shut his car door. Put his ballcap on his head. Looked up at the porch.  
  
David got out of the car and stood tucked between the open door and the car. Watching. Protective. Unsure of what lay ahead. Ready to act if Patrick needed.

The guys on the porch, frozen as they all stared at Patrick.

Then one of them, David had no idea who was who, yelled at the top of his lungs, “BREWSKI!”

And the four men charged in a pack, like a rugby team, off the porch toward Patrick.

Patrick’s face broke out into a huge grin and he opened his arms wide as the four men did some sort of a group-hug/tackle/huddle thing while they yelled each other’s names and smacked each other on the back.

David closed the door of the car and moved to stand near them, but far enough away that he would not be knocked over by their roughhousing.

David looked up when he heard her. The screen door slapped shut behind her when she stepped out on the porch. The tiny little woman with the long red hair that he’d seen on one of the worst days of his life. The pretty smile he’d met one other time; the first time he’d traveled with Patrick to his childhood home.

“Stop that, guys. Let him up for air!” She chastised the group.

As though scolded by their mother, Patrick’s friends immediately stood back from him. Like a crowd parting.

David watched Patrick’s face as it changed from silly boyhood raucousness to first a serious expression then, finally, to a gentle smile. He noticed Patrick’s eyes soften when they took her in. David worked hard to ignore the very faint evidence of blushing that creeped up Patrick’s cheeks.

The four men immediately moved to the porch, picked up the coolers they’d dropped there and went into the house.

Then, just the three of them were alone.

“Hi, Rach,” Patrick said as he walked toward the porch. 

She stepped off the porch, “Hey, you,” she said.

She opened her arms to him and he stepped into the hug.

The feelings that swirled through David were hard to pinpoint. He pushed them down, not wanting to spend the evening working through them. It was not the first time he’d been in their presence, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

This was an inevitable thing that he was witnessing. Two people with a storied past meeting up after a long period of time apart. David reminded himself that Patrick loved _him_. He knew that, of course. But Patrick could also hold her in his heart. Hold her in his arms. Patrick doing that didn’t change his love for David.

At least that is what David kept saying over and over in his head as he watched them. Watched Patrick wrap his arms around Rachel’s shoulders. Rachel’s arms around Patrick’s waist. Watched her tiny frame become enveloped in Patrick’s strong arms. Patrick’s hands smooth over her back. Watched her delicate hands slide up his back and hold on to his shoulders. Hold on to shoulders that belonged to David.

David averted his eyes. He focused his attention on the ground. At his feet. Gave them their moment. Privacy.

His left hand worried the rings on his right. He pulled his lips into his mouth and bit down.

Waited.

Patrick spoke before the hug ended, “Rachel, you remember David.”

David cleared his throat and looked up. For the first time since she exited the cabin, she made eye contact with him.

It wasn’t quite a smile that crossed her face. Her lips were pressed together. Her mouth pulled back a little at the corners, but they didn’t turn up into a smile.

“Hi, Rachel. It’s very nice to see you again,” David took a step toward her and held his hand out to her.

Of course, the first time they were in each other’s presence, they didn’t meet. David had breezed past her at the barbecue in an effort to escape the reality of the scene that unfolded there.

But they had met when he had accompanied Patrick the weekend after Thanksgiving in an attempt to visit Patrick’s parents. When the two had gone out to dinner in town, Rachel had happened by. They had invited her to sit with them, and David and Rachel had a lovely conversation.

So, it was with interest that David noticed a very different response in Rachel this time.

“David. I’m glad you were able to come.” Rachel nodded. Shook his hand, politely. As soon as the handshake ended, she stuffed her hands into her pockets. She quickly turned her attention back to Patrick, “We’re all setting up out back. Have a fire going.” Rachel tilted her head toward the front porch, indicating that they should head that way.

David watched Patrick do what Patrick does. He nodded in affirmation and then put his left hand on Rachel’s lower back and walked half a step behind her toward the porch. David’s stomach clenched as he watched Patrick touch her casually. Familiarly. Watched him step away from David. With her.

David followed and felt more than a little relieved when Patrick stopped at the first step to the porch and waited for him. When David neared him, Patrick wordlessly stretched his right arm out behind himself. Reaching for David. David reached forward and held on to Patrick’s hand.

And with one hand on the past and one hand on the present, Patrick walked into the cabin.

++++++

Various and assorted chairs were arranged in a circle around a fire pit behind the house. A small walking path of pebbles lead across the lawn and through a bushy area, from the fire pit to the lake.

Rachel escorted them outside, after offering them each a beer. David stood a few steps behind Patrick as he made his way through the rest of his friends who had been gathered outside. David met three more women. Two of them, Patrick knew. Another Patrick was meeting for the first time.

David perched himself on the edge of an Adirondack chair out of the way of the group as they stood around the fire and began to catch up. Eventually everyone settled down into chairs. Patrick moved his chair close to David’s before settling in it. Patrick’s was a typical lawn-chair. He sat higher than David. The arms of their chairs touching.

It was still light outside. The sun dancing along the horizon, hovering over the placid lake. The sky around it purple and pink and orange. It was still comfortably warm outside and as the fire crackled and popped, David felt a sense of comfort in the sound. In the heat.

Music played softly somewhere in the background, sometimes drowned out by the laughter or the loud story telling of the group. Patrick asked friends about their family members, their work. David noted that no questions were coming at Patrick.

Overall, in a situation such as this, David didn’t mind when he felt invisible. It was not a feeling he often had in life. Mostly, he tended to feel like all eyes were on him. Whether it be because of his attire or because of his personality. Or further in the past, because of his family’s money. But in this group, short of the initial greetings, nobody said much to him. That is not to say they didn’t sneak glances at him. But there was no engaging him in conversation. 

David sat with his beer bottle between his hands. His hands in his lap. Knees together. Feet together. Because the group was so engaged in their conversation, he felt that he had a little freedom to let his gaze linger on each of them a little longer than he might otherwise safely do.

As he thought about the friends from his own past, he saw a few similarities. Surface level conversations. Unspoken words accompanied knowing glances from one to another.

David noticed that the longer they sat there, the more glances were coming his way. Of course, he expected it. Patrick’s news was one thing, but it’s likely Patrick looked no different to them. So, the next thing for them to examine would be the man that Patrick brought with him. Patrick seemed oblivious to some of it, because he was deep in conversation. 

While Patrick talked, he rested his elbow on the arm of David’s chair. Occasionally, he moved his hand to squeeze David’s forearm. A couple of times, while he talked to the woman who sat beside David, he draped his arm around David’s shoulders. His hand casually squeezed David’s shoulder or his fingers grazed over the nape of David’s neck

Rachel brought pizza out to the back porch. Patrick delivered a fresh beer to David. They both grabbed a slice. David ate. Waited. Watched. Listened.

At one point, Zach stood and went to the back porch. “Let’s go throw the ball around, Brewski.” He retrieved a baseball and two glove-thingies. He tossed one of them to Patrick.

Patrick looked over at David. “You OK if I go play catch with Zach?”

 _Ohhhh. That’s Zach,_ David thought.

“Have fun,” David gave him a small smile. A nod.

Patrick winked at him, stood, and finished his beer. Handed his empty bottle to David.

David raised an eyebrow at him. A quiet message of connection between them.

Patrick leaned over David. Kissed his cheek and told him quietly, “Come get me if you need me.”

“He’ll be fine,” Rachel told Patrick.

Rachel, who had been sitting on the other side of Patrick, eyed David. “More beer?” she asked him.

“Water?” He asked her.

She nodded, stood, and waved with her hand, indicating that he should join her. He followed her into the cabin.

They stood in the kitchen. She offered him a bottle of water. “You nervous?” She asked him.

He nodded; his eyes scanned the room to see if anyone else was there. They were alone. “A bit,” he told her.

“Same,” She made a sound that didn’t quite register as a humored chuckle. She leaned against the counter and opened another beer.

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room.

David felt the need to fill the space. “I know we’ve met once, but this is different. I can’t say that I’ve ever spent the evening with the former partner of my boyfriend.”

“Former fiancé of…” Rachel held up her beer as though to offer up a salute. 

David’s face scrunched up into a look of regret and nodded. “Yes. That.” He took a swig of his water. Then he added, “And with a built-in audience.”

“So… when we talked the other night, Patrick asked me if they knew and I told him they didn’t, and they didn’t at the time. But… when I called them to bring them here, I told them.” Rachel disclosed to David. Then she added, “I also told them that if they weren’t going to be decent about it, that they shouldn’t come.”

“Oh,” David made a small noise of surprise. He supposed that the move was Rachel being protective of Patrick. He moved to the kitchenette table and sat.

Rachel joined him. “They were pissed when he left. They… I don’t want to use the wrong words here…”

“You don’t have to mince words with me, Rachel.” David told her.

“They took my side.” Rachel said quickly. “Not that there were sides. I mean… there _were_ … sides, I mean. Patrick didn’t know that, of course. Because… he wasn’t here. But now that we know the whole story it’s… hard to be angry. Feels like anger is inappropriate.”

“Anger is an understandable… valid thing for you to feel.” David said quietly.

“Is it?” She said to him, with what David assumed was a little bit of snark in her voice. He didn’t know her well enough to know if that was what he heard or not. It was an assumption. And he supposed she had reason to have it there. He wasn’t necessarily offended by it. But he certainly felt something from her that wasn’t exactly a positive vibe.

“I apologize. You do not need me to validate your feelings.” He told her.

“No. I don’t,” She said. Then, after a long pause she added, “But thank you. I think I understand what you meant by it.”

The room was quiet for an unbearably long time. David didn’t like quiet rooms with strangers. And he had an uneasy feeling in the moment. The last time… actually, it was the only time… he’d met her, they had a fun and interesting conversation. This time felt different. Nothing about this conversation with her felt enjoyable.

“Rachel,” he cleared his throat. Tried again. “Rachel, is there anything you’d like to know from me, or… anything you need to say to me?” If he was uncomfortable, he may as well dive into the deep end and have the difficult conversations that needed to be had.

She took a deep breath, “He told me you didn’t know about me.”

“That’s correct. I learned about you when you came to the motel that day,” David confirmed.

“Would it have made a difference?” She asked. “If you’d have known about me earlier?”

David shook his head, “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

“If you knew he was engaged, would you have pursued him?” She asked him.

David was taken aback. He paused.

He forced himself to take a drink of his water so that he could think through his choice of words.

David knew… David trusted Patrick’s version of events enough to know that he was no longer engaged when he moved to Schitt’s Creek. David chose to not focus on that point of the conversation. Her belief of her relationship with Patrick was not something he could control.

Instead, he chose to only focus on what parts of her story that he was connected to.

“Patrick was the one who asked me out. Certainly, I was attracted to him…very attracted… I liked him a lot before he asked… but, I likely wouldn’t have asked him out had he not made the first move.” David told her honestly. He set his bottle on the table. Leaned forward, hands in his lap, ready to have this conversation if that was what she wanted.

He would not get into details of their relationship. Though he knew that Patrick wouldn’t care if he talked about it to her, David felt very protective of his feelings for Patrick and he refused to use them as weapons against anyone, nor would he use them as explanations for behavior.

He did, however, find it important to let her know that he did not lure an unsuspecting Patrick into being his boyfriend. He wanted her to know that Patrick was clear-eyed and decisive about the first steps of their partnership.

She tilted her head. Raised an eyebrow. “After you talked him into being your business partner?”

“That’s not…” David held his hands in front of himself. His fingertips tapped the table top. He took a deep breath. “That’s not an accurate statement? But… Um… Rachel? Is there something you need to say?… to me?... or… to Patrick?”

“No, I’m fine,” Rachel shook her head. Her silky hair danced over her shoulders. “I think I just have some questions for Patrick.”

David nodded. Eyed her. Didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so he didn’t say anything other than a quiet, “M’Kay.”

“Why don’t we go back out and join the others,” She stood.

He walked with her outside. Took his place in the chair he had vacated. As he sat, he crossed one leg over the other, held his water in both hands on his lap. He looked over the fire and out into the yard. He focused on Patrick who had just caught the ball, grabbed it with his free hand and threw it. One swift motion.

David tried to focus on his face. He was too far away to tell if he was smiling or not as he chatted with his friend.

++++++

They walked together to the yard. Two old friends. Friends since they met when they were five years old. Their first day of kindergarten.

Zach slapped Patrick’s chest with the glove; handing it off to him.

Patrick slid it onto his hand and moved away from Zach in the yard. A wordless movement of two old buddies who had, together, played countless games of catch over the course of their friendship.

They walked away from one another, backs to each other until they had taken several steps. Then they turned to face each other. Both then took several steps backward. Neither discussing the distance, but both knowing how far to stand. Patrick adjusted the bill on his ballcap to block the sun that was working its way to being set.

Zach pulled his arm back and fired the ball at Patrick who handily caught it and in one motion, transitioned the ball to his throwing arm and released it toward his friend.

No words spoken. Just muscle memory taking over. A therapeutic activity as old as they were. Two old friends. Connecting.

Patrick knew that Zach had walked them farther away from everyone than they might typically go. In the past, they’d throw the ball around closer to the crowd so they could hear the music, or so others could joke around with them, or maybe a third or fourth person would join in the exercise.

But in that moment, they had moved to the farthest end of the yard. Any farther and they’d be down by the lake.

As he threw the ball, Patrick thought he’d start them with, “There something you need to discuss?”

They’d never been particularly verbose in their exchanges. Having grown up together, though, Zach and Patrick had a few moments in their past where they had serious conversations. Patrick figured Zach may be ready for one.

Zach caught the ball and, in one movement, released it back to Patrick while he said, “Seems like you’re the one with the big announcement.”

The ball smacked hard into Patrick’s glove. Harder than a typical throw. Patrick caught it. Stopped for a brief moment and nodded. Pulled his arm back and threw the ball equally as hard, “I’m gay, Zach.”

Patrick could tell that the ball hit Zach’s glove hard. The smack was loud. As the ball flew back at Patrick, Zach replied with a question, “Took you a fucking year to say it?”

And as they talked, the ball flew back and forth between them; carrying their words. Carrying their emotions. Sometimes, when anger grew, the ball flew harder. When they were thinking, the ball flew a little more gently. But the ball flew with each exchange. Patrick spoke when he threw. Zach spoke when the ball flew at Patrick.

“Yup. Guess so,” Patrick said.

“We’ve known each other since we were kids,” Zach said.

“Yup.”

“Best friends through high school,” Zach reminded him.

“I know.” Patrick said.

“Roommates in college,” Zach said.

“Yup.”

“You gay that whole time?” Zach asked him.  
  
Patrick tilted his head, “If I was, I didn’t realize it.”

“So, all those times we wrestled in our dorm room?” Zach posed the question that Patrick was waiting for. Albeit not the exact way that Patrick had expected.

Patrick had come prepared for that question. One doesn’t have a best friend for 20+ years of his life and not know what he was going to ask. But if Patrick were completely honest in that moment, he may have answered it differently. He honestly didn’t know. But he knew what Zach needed to hear so he answered him with what needed to be said to get him through it.

“Dude.” Patrick chuckled. “You’re not my type.”

“Fair enough,” Zach smiled a broad smile.

They settled into the movement again. Quiet. Patrick waiting for the next round of questions.

“You pissed that I’m with her now?” Zach asked him.

Patrick pressed his lips together. Shook his head. “Don’t have thoughts about it either way.”

“Bull shit,” Zach challenged him. “You always have thoughts.”

“You always liked her,” Patrick shot back. The strength of his throw giving away the anger buried deep within himself.

“We’ve all always been friends,” Zach was clearly sidestepping the accusation from Patrick.

“Not what I meant,” Patrick’s throw was hard.

“Then say what you mean,” Zach told him.

“You always had a crush on her,” Patrick said.

“You didn’t deserve her,” Zach told him.

“You’re right. She didn’t deserve how I treated her.” Patrick confessed.

“You didn’t satisfy her,” the ball hit Patrick’s glove hard. So hard that he almost dropped it.

Patrick said nothing as he threw the ball back to him. Back when he was together with Rachel, Patrick had seldom ever talked to Zach about his sex life. After all, who could get a word in? When they were in high school and college, Zach talked about sex all the time.

On the very few times Patrick did talk to Zach about sex, they were younger. Much younger. He wasn’t about to start doing that now.

“First time we fucked, she told me she didn’t know what she’d been missing.” Zach told him bluntly, not ready to drop the subject… or the ball.

“Sounds like you make her happy,” Patrick threw the ball equally hard back at him. Zach turned slightly as the ball smacked harshly into his glove.

“I get the job done,” Zach crudely said. His voice straining as he threw the ball.

“If you getting the job done makes her happy, then you should be proud,” Patrick said.

“At least she doesn’t have to beg me to touch her,” the words flew at him as harshly as the ball did.

Patrick said nothing and threw the ball back with equal force.

“At least when we’re together I can get it up,” Zach taunted him.

“All right. That’s enough,” Patrick threw the ball back to him.

“We googled him, you know,” Zach lobbed the ball. Nice and easy. Slow.

Whether it was the change-up in the throw or the fact that Zach was referencing David, he wasn’t sure. But Patrick dropped the ball.

Patrick leaned over and picked it up. Didn’t throw it. Just stood still. Waiting for the next words.

“And?” Patrick asked.

“Seems like a fuckin’ loser, Brewski. His whole family is fuckin’ pathetic.”

Patrick wordlessly dropped the ball and he yanked on the mitt, pulling it from his hand. He dropped it at his feet.

Zach stood his ground. Stood straighter. Shoulders back. A stance Patrick had seen him take dozens of times in their life. A stance of challenge. Ready to fight.

Patrick began to walk toward him. While he walked, he reached up and turned his ballcap around. Bill in the back.

He was done with the bullshit.

++++++

David loved watching him. His movements were smooth and sure. His own little sporty spice, out on the lawn throwing the ball back and forth with his friend.

David sat up when he saw Patrick drop the ball at his feet. Pull off his glove and drop it.

When he saw Patrick start walking, David stood.

And when Patrick turned his ballcap so that the bill was in the back? That’s when he spoke.

“Ohmygod, Rachel!” His panicked voice stopped the conversations around him. Rachel stood and turned in the direction David was looking.  
  
They both began to run toward the fight.

++++++ 

“Patrick!” David called his name just as Patrick’s fist came into contact with Zach’s face.

Patrick pushed Zach on the chest and they both tumbled to the ground. Zach rolled and was on top of Patrick.

Zach pulled back his fist, ready to land it on Patrick who lay, struggling, beneath him.

“Zach, don’t you dare,” Rachel’s words were strong and sure.

She stood near him. Zach paused. His arm pulled back; his hand balled into a fist. David watched them lock eyes. Watched the fiery red-headed woman fiercely protect Patrick from the punch.

Zach, rolled off of Patrick. Rolled onto his back. Both men lay, side by side, looking up.

“Damnit, Brewski.” Zach’s hand moved to his own chin. He opened and closed his mouth, working his jaw. “Turning gay didn’t change that punch of yours. That was a good one.”

Patrick huffed out a laugh and sat up. Reached for his ballcap that fallen off in the fight. Put it on. His right hand tugged on the bill while his other hand held the back of the hat to his head.

Rachel, hands on her hips, rolled her eyes. Looked at over at David who was horrified by everything that was unfolding. Arms crossed over himself tightly. Eyes on Patrick.

Zach sat up. “Your throwing arm is still good, too.”

Patrick leaned forward. Elbows on his knees. His head bent low between them. With his head still down, he looked up at Zach. He held up a hand. Rested it on Zach’s shoulder.

He spoke in a tone that only Zach would hear. “You can say anything you want about me. But, Man, if you ever… _ever_ … talk like that about him? They’ll be the last words you speak.”

“Won’t happen again, Buddy,” Zach told him as he stood. “Sorry, Man.” He reached down a hand for Patrick who held on to it as he pulled himself up.

When Patrick stood and looked at David, he saw in his eyes that he was upset. David looked at him only for a brief moment before his eyes shifted and looked over Patrick’s shoulder at the lake.

“Let’s go have some more to eat,” Zach slung an arm over Patrick’s shoulders.

“Go ahead,” Patrick told him. His hand on Zach’s back. Smacked him firmly. “David and I are gonna… take a walk.”

++++++

They’d walked silently. Not touching. Not saying a word.

Down the path to the lake shore. They walked slowly. Walked far away from the group. Walked so far that they could no longer hear the chatter or the music.

Patrick hesitantly reached out to touch David’s lower back. The warmth of his hand penetrating the thick fabric of David’s sweatshirt. The simple act caused David to stop walking. Patrick, following David’s cues. He stopped, also.

“Patrick, what was that?” David’s voice was barely above a whisper. He shook his head in small, quick movements.

“Just me and Zach. Sometimes when things get tense, we just fight it out. He needs a good punch to the jaw.” Patrick shrugged as he looked up at David.

David looked at his boyfriend. The face he knew well. The body movements he loved.

He took a step back and moved his hand in a circular movement, indicating all that Patrick was. “Who _are_ you and what have you done with my calm, rational boyfriend?”

Patrick pushed out an uncomfortable laugh. Shrugged. Looked over his shoulder back at the group. Then his eyes settled again on David’s.

“That scared me, Patrick. I’ve only ever seen you fight one other time, when Ss…” David’s voice faded off. He refused to say the name.

Patrick moved close to him. His hands resting on David’s sides.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” Patrick pulled him closer. Turned his face in. Kissed David’s neck.

David looked up at the evening sky. His hands moved to settle on Patrick’s shoulders. He tilted his head so that Patrick’s lips could have all the access they wanted to his neck.

David cupped the back of Patrick’s head, lovingly in his hand. “Sweetie. What did he say to you?”

Patrick shook his head. Continued kissing David’s neck. “Nothing. Just talking shit.”

David let it drop. But he knew. He knew the way he knew when Patrick beat the hell out of Sebastien in the street in front of the Apothecary. He knew that Patrick could take all the shit in the world if the shit being thrown was about Patrick.

It was evident to David that Zach had said something about David and Patrick put a stop to it.

++++++

Patrick and David walked, side-by-side, back toward the group. One finger of David’s hand linked with one finger of Patrick’s.  
  
Patrick walked David to his chair. David sat.

Patrick stood beside him. Reached down and took David’s hand.

David sat back in his chair, looked up at Patrick’s face. David had trouble reading what Patrick was thinking. That bothered David, because he normally knew Patrick’s expressions well enough that he knew what was going on in his brain.

“I’m going to go get my jacket from the car. Do you want me to bring you yours?” He asked David.

They spoke quietly while the group of friends behind them roared over some story one of them told. They chatted and laughed as though two of their friends getting into a fist fight either did not just happen, or it was no big deal.

“Want me to go with?” David asked quietly.

The shake of Patrick’s head was slight. His eyes serious, “No. I’ll just be a second.”

“Will you bring me the blanket, too?” David asked him.

“Yup.” Patrick’s hand squeezed David’s tightly.

David squeezed him back. Nodded. “I’ll be here.” David said quietly.

Patrick leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

He was only gone a moment. David was relieved when he returned.

Patrick held David’s jacket open for him. David stood and appreciated that Patrick helped him slide into it. After David sat, Patrick draped Grandma’s blanket over David’s legs.

He sat down in his chair and leaned over toward David, “You OK?”

“Fine. You?” David asked quietly.

“Good.” Patrick’s nod was brief before he turned his attention back to the conversation of the group.

Several chairs away, Rachel watched them. Watched, as she had all evening. The loving touches. The quiet whispers to each other. The cheek kisses.

And then she saw it. Patrick brought a blanket for David’s legs. And it wasn’t just any blanket. It was her favorite blanket.

++++++

David sat with his hand resting on the arm of the chair. Patrick had gotten up and was settling back down with a fresh beer. As music played and conversations were held between the friends, he felt Patrick’s arm move to rest against his. Then felt Patrick’s hand slide into his.

They weren’t generally hand holders.  
  
Sure, when they were in the car, Patrick’s hand would find its way into David’s. His thumb would rub against the side of David’s hand as he would be lost in thought while driving. When they’d sit in a movie theater or cuddled together under a blanket in bed watching Netflix, they’d hold hands.

But typically, when in front of others or just walking down the street, the two of them didn’t hold hands. Not out of any conscious decision, David supposed. They’d never discussed it.

And, certainly, it wasn’t because they were ashamed of their relationship. After all, it was not uncommon when they were in public for David to wrap his arm around Patrick’s shoulders or Patrick to lean against David and rest his chin on David’s shoulder.

But… handholding. It felt very intimate to David. Some of their first touches… long before they were together… were hand holding. And to David, it seemed very private. Something just for them.

So, when Patrick reached for David’s hand, David was somewhat surprised by the move.

Though David didn’t move his hand away, he did surreptitiously glance at Patrick who was talking with one of the guys who had moved to sit near him.

Patrick’s fingers laced with David’s.

David squeezed him. Reassured him.

Patrick squeezed him once. Strong. Sure.

Then, as Patrick talked and David stared into the fire, Patrick’s hand moved within David’s hand. Moved so that his fingertips lightly brushed the palm of David’s hand.

David turned his arm so that his hand faced up. He opened his hand slightly and Patrick’s fingers continued to caress him. Slow, easy, light touches. Fingers drawing circles in David’s palm. On his inner wrist.

David knew that Patrick was both offering a soothing touch to David and also showing everyone who cared to look that Patrick liked to touch David. He was sending someone a message.

And David was all in.

David moved slightly. Pulled his feet under himself in the chair, tucked the blanket around himself, and leaned himself to the side, so he was leaning nearer to Patrick.

While he carried on with his conversation, Patrick’s hand shifted to David’s lap. He patted David on his thigh. David’s hand moved up Patrick’s arm until he had one hand gripping Patrick’s bicep. His other arm slid behind Patrick, so his hand could gently rub circles in the middle of Patrick’s back.

All the while, Patrick carried on a conversation with one of his friends.

Several chairs away, Rachel sat roasting a marshmallow. She looked out the side of her eye to see them. Snuggling up with one another.

++++++

David sipped on a soda. He knew he could have gone with them into the cabin. And, truth be known, he’d rather be in there. He was starting to detect a bug or two.

But Patrick had quietly told David that he wanted to talk with Rachel after David had told him down by the lake about his conversation with her. And, David wanted Patrick to have that time alone, so he didn’t have to worry about any words he used being upsetting to David.

David was thankful when one of the women in the group had moved over to sit in Patrick’s chair so she could be nearer to him. She engaged him in conversation. Asked him about the Apothecary. Talked with him about her work.

David was thankful for the distraction and her kindness. Even if he couldn’t remember her name.

His eyes darted, every so often, to Zach who stood on the other side of the fire talking loudly to his friends. Zach’s eyes never left the cabin door.

++++++

She waited until he was at the cooler getting another beer. She joined him. He handed her the one he’d just opened and reached in for another for himself.

“Hey, can we talk?” Rachel asked him. Then quickly added, “Alone?”

“Sure, Rach,” he said. “Let me take a soda to David.”

He stood behind David. Passed the soda over David’s shoulder. He leaned down and into his ear said, “Rachel asked to talk with me. We’re going to go in the cabin. OK?”

David turned his head and looked up at Patrick. “I’m here if you need me.” He told him not for the first time that evening. Patrick appreciated all that David was doing to support him as they navigated their way through the evening. He leaned down and kissed David on the cheek near his ear. Whispered, “Love you.”

When they went into the cabin, they found that a few of their friends had already gathered in the kitchen area. Rachel walked past them, through the main room and down a short hallway. Patrick knew where she was going. He knew this cabin and spent a lot of time there in his past.

He stopped in the hallway, “No, Rachel.”

“It’s the only room besides the bathroom with a door. I’m not going to try to seduce you.” She stood in the doorway of the main bedroom of the cabin. Waited for him.

Patrick took deep breath and walked into the bedroom. She shut the door behind them.

++++++

He stood, walked to the other side of the room. “I just don’t understand. By saying… _everyone_ … who do you mean? Like you and Zach, or…?”

“Most of them out there,” Rachel said, raising her hand and indicating all the friends who were there with them that evening.

“They all think that,” Patrick said. “ _All_ of them.”

“Most of them.” She nodded.

“Why?” Patrick shook his head. Brow knitted.

“Because you _just left_!” Rachel raised her voice as she stood. “It wasn’t like you. You moved hundreds of miles away, Patrick. You quit your job, packed whatever you could in your car, and you moved… _hundreds_ _of miles away_!”

“People do that, Rachel. It doesn’t mean I was cheating on you before I left. It doesn’t mean I was having an affair with him.” Patrick said. “And, for the record, I wasn’t.”

“Honestly? I didn’t think about it at first. I was just upset that you’d left. And then… I worked so hard to get you to respond to my texts and phone calls. I hadn’t thought a lot about the logistics of it all.”

“So, what changed?” Patrick asked. He sat on the cedar chest at the end of the bed.

“Zach said…”

“Zach.” Patrick interrupted her.

She held her finger up to him, “Let me finish my sentences, thank you.”

He held up a hand and nodded, “Sorry.”

“After I left Schitt’s Creek that day, and I came home I thought I was going to work through it and be fine. Then a few weeks later, I ran into Zach. He had said he hadn’t heard from you. I told him I had information. So, the two of us met to talk. That’s when I told him,” She said.

Patrick shrugged. He said nothing. Waited for her to finish.

“Zach’s the one who pieced it together. Said you never dove headlong into anything in your life. That there was _no way_ you just chose a town on a map to move to and then miraculously met someone a week after moving to town. No way you’d leave a brand-new job to start a new business venture with a stranger. No way you’d… hop into bed with the first…” Rachel stopped talking.

Patrick waited. Wanting to be sure she was finished. Anger boiled in his chest.

“Why did Zach never say this to me?” Patrick asked. Then he added, “Why did _you_ never bring this up?”

“Well…” She paused. “For starters, you know me. This is not the kind of conversation one has over the phone.”

He nodded. He could certainly understand that.

“I thought... Rachel… I thought you were fine… with all this. Thought you worked past it,” He said.

“I thought I was fine. I mean… you and I talk all the time and we seem to get along as good as can be expected. I thought, if you cheated you cheated. And it was with a man and not a woman. It’s in the past.” She said, “But then I saw him.”

“Who?” Patrick shrugged.

“David, dumbass.” Rachel shot at him.

“You’ve met him before. When we all had dinner you all seemed fine.” Patrick told her.

“Yeah. I think it was different this time. You’re different, this time, Patrick.”

“How am I different?”

“You touch him. You can’t keep your fucking hands off him,” She said.

“So?” Patrick shrugged.

“Do you not remember what you were like with me? When we were together?”

“I always held doors for you. Always offered you my arm. Always had a hand at your back.” Patrick stood. Literally standing up for himself. “I touched you all the time, Rachel.”

“You have always been a gentleman. There is no doubt about that.” Rachel rolled her eyes and plopped down on the bed. “But you rarely held my hand; you only tolerated it when I initiated it. You didn’t lean on me or play with my hair or…” Her voice drifted off.

“Rach…” He started to speak.

She interrupted him, “And now he’s using Grandma’s blanket?! You and I fought over that blanket, Patrick! You never used it. I wanted it!” Her voice was loud and angry.

“Hey!” Patrick raised his voice at her. His voice equally loud. “It’s _my_ blanket. He’s allowed to use it.”

She pulled her legs under herself. Elbows on her knees. Her face in her hands. “You’re right. Ohmygod, Patrick. You’re right. That sounded ridiculous.” She laughed at herself.

He leaned against the corner post at the end of the bed. Watched her.

She looked up at him. “Did you go there for him? Please, Patrick. Be honest with me. Did the two of you meet online… when you and I were still together? like Zach thinks?”

Patrick shook his head adamantly. “No. No Rachel.”

He sat down on the bed. Faced her.

“I’ve told you, I did a job search for something that would be a minimum of 4 or 5 hours away. I found one place. The guy was willing to do a Skype interview. It was Ray. I liked him immediately. Ray had a room that I could rent for cheap. I just took it. I wanted to get away.”

“Away from me.” She said quietly.

“Honestly? Yes. I knew if I stayed, we’d get back together again. You were comfortable to me, Rachel. You were… my person. My best friend. And I wouldn’t have been strong enough to stay away if I didn’t put distance between us. Rachel, you have to admit it; we were _not_ happy.”

“And you just happened to meet him… _days_ after moving to town?”

“Yup.” Patrick nodded. “He came in to get the paperwork for…”

“I know. His business. You helped him. Bla bla bla. Yes, I know that part.” Rachel said.

“Rachel,” Patrick’s voice chastised her. He was frustrated.

She looked at him. Quiet.

“So… you and Zach,” He said to her. Approaching the topic that he’d always been a little curious about.

“What about us?” She asked.

“Any of that happen while we were still together?” He asked.

“Does it matter?” She asked him.

“Guess not,” He said. He stood and moved to leave the room.

Before he reached the door, she said, “Not… while we were together.”

His back was to her when he asked for clarification, “Meaning?”

“One of the times when we were on a break, we made out. Just kissing and groping. No… sex,” She said.

“When did this happen?”

“College. Around the same timeframe you were having your first fuck in the back of your car with a stranger.” She said with a bite in her voice.

He turned quickly. “Rachel.”

“Sorry,” she told him again.

“So, when we got back together and I told you about her and what happened in the back of my car, you didn’t think I should know that you had spent some of that time making out with my best friend?” Patrick asked her.

“Would you have gotten back together with me had I told you?” She asked him.

He eyed her as he took in what she was telling him. He changed the subject.

“Are you happy with Zach? Does he satisfy you… sexually?” He asked her.

“Oh yeah. Yes. Definitely.” She nodded.

Patrick reached for the door, “Good. Then you’re taken care of. I’m happy for you.”

He wanted to leave the room.

He looked at her.

She stood. Hands in her back pockets. She said nothing.

“Can you be happy for me?” he asked her. “Please?”

She paused before nodding. “Yeah. I can try.”

“I mean…” He shrugged. “I’d settle for you not wishing me dead. Not hoping David falls ill.”

“OK,” She forced a smile. Nodded.

“Can we go back out to the fire now?” He asked. Knowing full well the conversation was not resolved, and having the full realization that it never would be.

“Yeah,” She nodded. “Yeah, let’s get back.”

Always the gentleman, Patrick opened the door and paused. Making space for her to exit the room first. When they reached the back door of the cabin, he did the same thing. And for the first time in her presence, he didn’t reach out to touch her back as she walked ahead of him.

As they stepped out the back door, Patrick turned to go to the coolers. Another beer. He took a long draw from it. He wasn’t drunk. But he’d maintained a good solid buzz for most of the evening.

He turned. Realized that all eyes were on them. Patrick and Rachel.

“Hey, Patrick. Your turn!” one of his buddies held up his guitar. Stood as Patrick walked toward the fire. He handed the guitar to Patrick. They all knew he’d take it. He’d play.

To be honest, it was the last thing he’d wanted to do. But they expected it of him.

He took the guitar and sat down beside David. Looked him in the eye. The two shared a pained look.

Patrick took another swig of his beer and then handed the bottle to David.

++++++

David had heard their voices. He didn’t hear what they were saying, but as he sat around the fire with Patrick’s old friends, he heard the yelling. Heard Patrick’s angry voice. A sound he seldom heard.

There had been a commotion on the back porch as all the friends who had been in the cabin when Patrick and Rachel had entered quickly left the building when the arguing started.

He heard one woman who sat next to him say quietly to the person on the other side of her, “I honestly thought we weren’t going to have to listen to that shit again.”

At one point, David went into the cabin. He had to use the bathroom, or he’d not have done it. He walked quickly and quietly, hopeful that they’d stay in whatever room they were in until he was finished.

After flushing the toilet, after washing his hands. After turning off the water, he heard very clearly Patrick say, “Hey! It’s my blanket. He’s allowed to use it.”

David looked at himself in the mirror and said quietly to himself, “I knew it.” An inexplicable anger exploded in his chest when he realized that Rachel had once wrapped herself in the cozy blanket.

When he returned to the fire, David had learned that one of them had, thankfully, retrieved the guitar from his car and began to play. Some of them singing along to drown out the arguing that was clearly happening within earshot of them all.

At one point, David made eye contact with Zach. He couldn’t get a read on him. Zach sat alone; stone faced. Still staring at the door to the cabin.  
  
David had to wonder how Zach and Patrick ever had anything in common. Perhaps at first glance to a passer-by they might seem to be cut from the same cloth. Athletic. Clean cut. Button up shirts tucked into mid-range denim jeans. But this guy had nowhere near the social graces of Patrick. Nowhere near the kindness.

The music was a reprieve. The kind woman who had been sitting near David moved back to her seat with her friends which allowed David some solitude in the mix of people.

When he heard the screen door open and slap shut, all the others who had been sitting around the fire stopped singing. They turned to look. David did not turn around. He knew that the sound meant that Patrick… or Rachel… or both… had come outside.

He waited. He stared at the base of the fire. His eyes blurred from the heat. He grabbed a fist full of blanket and squeezed it. He was determined to not look up.

The person with the guitar called to Patrick. Told him it was his turn.

David waited.

Then he felt him.

David shut his eyes as Patrick’s hand settled on his shoulder. David reached up and rested his hand on top of Patrick’s.

“What do you think? We have time for a few songs, Babe?” Patrick asked him.

“I always have time for you to sing some songs,” David said with a smile, loud enough for the others to hear.

Patrick took another long swig of his beer and handed his bottle to David. As he did so he looked at him. With his eyes told him he was sorry to have brought them both there. Told him he was disappointed with what had taken place. And David, willing all of his inner strength to Patrick, held his gaze until Patrick looked away.

He scooted his chair as close as it could get to David. He began to pick some notes.

Patrick was angry. He was hurt that this group had, according to Rachel, thought that he had duped them all. Cheated on Rachel with David. Ran off to pursue some sort of secret life with him. It all landed poorly on Patrick.

He didn’t want to sing songs. For them. With them.

But then…a memory came to him. A happy time. And a song. A song with lyrics that seemed to fit the occasion.

He sat forward. “OK. I think you’ll enjoy this one.” He said to nobody in particular.

[And he began to play. ](https://youtu.be/7V2twKkI-cs)

As soon as he began to sing the first words to the song, several others joined in.

_Where it began, I can't begin to knowing_   
_But then I know it's growing strong_

When David realized what song he was playing, he shut his eyes and smiled. Remembering the first time they’d sung it together. On their weekend of healing while David shaved his beard. In the bathroom. David danced while Patrick sang the words – and changed the lyrics… for David.

  
_Was it the spring  
And spring became the summer  
Who'd have believed you'd come along_

_Hands, touching hands  
Reaching out, touching me, touching you_

While the rest of the group began to sing the chorus, Patrick turned his head to look at David. David leaned close to him.

Quietly, really just mouthing the words, as the rest of the group sang: 

_Sweet Caroline *Ba* *Ba* *Ba*  
Good times never seemed so good *So good!* *So good!* *So good!*_

David reached his hand to settle on Patrick’s knee and he mouthed the words and Patrick sang quietly:

_Sweet **David Rose**_ _  
Good times never seemed so good  
I've been inclined  
To believe they never would  
  
_

_Oh! Sweet **David Rose**  
Good times never seemed so good  
I've been inclined  
To believe they never would  
Oh no, no_

And from across the fire, Rachel emptied her beer bottle and watched the two of them sing to each other.

The sing-along continued. They called out song titles and Patrick would play the song. The group would sing along. David realized this was likely a regular thing for them back when they all used to hang out together.

After they’d sung a few songs, someone said, “Rachel, you two need to sing one.”

“Nah.” Rachel waved them off. Leaned into Zach.

She looked at Patrick who jerked his head in an invitation for her to join him. She moved to the seat beside him.

They’d sung a lot of songs together over the years. He knew anything he chose she would know. So, he picked a song that he felt said what he wanted to say to the group.

He knew, deep down, that it would be the last song he would sing with them. Not just that night, but ever.

“Um. All right. Well,” [Patrick scratched his head began to play the notes](https://youtu.be/AxX-RdEcZMY). “This is… uh… This song has nothing to do with any of you.” 

Part way into the song, Rachel joined him. Sang harmony. David watched them. Listened to them. They sounded good together. Of course they did.

_Bartender_   
_One more for the road_   
_And after this one I promise I'll go_   
_’Cause I've been havin'[a time](https://genius.com/Noah-reid-people-hold-on-studio-version-lyrics#note-17577208) with these old friends of mine_   
_Now it seems I’m the last to go home_   
_And sometimes I get carried away_   
_Say things that I just shouldn't say_   
_And there's a power in words_   
_You know people get hurt_   
_You can't avoid that shit try as you may_   
  
_She said, oh_   
_Life is long_   
_'Til you blink_   
_And it's gone_   
_'Til you think_   
_Maybe I've been wrong all along_   
_So let’s just drink until the dawn_   
_Let’s just drink until the morning comes_   
  
  
_Well there's times when you're burnin' too bright_   
_And there's times when the money ain't right_   
_And there's times when you know_   
_That you can't let it show_   
_And you just end up screamin' at a fuckin' traffic light_   
_So I'm burnin' this last cigarette_   
_Along with everything else I regret_   
_'Cause lord I can't change it now_   
_And I'm reminded somehow_   
_Of something you probably said_   
_To yourself in your head_   
  
_'Cause life is long_   
_'Til you blink_   
_And it's gone_   
_'Til you think_   
_Goddamnit I was wrong all along_   
_So let's drink until the dawn_   
_Let's just drink ‘til the dawn_   
_And we'll sing oh_   
_This life is long_   
_'Til you blink_   
_And it's gone_   
_'Til you think_   
_Oh I did it all wrong all along_   
_So let's just drink 'til the dawn_   
_Let's just drink 'til the dawn_   
_Let's just drink 'til the dawn_   
_Let's just drink_   
_Come on, people hold on_

David watched them. As they sang the last notes of the song, Patrick leaned toward her. She reached over and rubbed his knee.

Patrick cleared his throat.

“Somethin’ like that,” Patrick said as his hand smacked the end of the guitar.

David knew what Patrick was doing. He was saying goodbye to his friends. He knew it as sure as he knew Patrick.

Patrick stood. Handed the guitar back to his friend.

There were a few groans. “Come on, Patrick. One more.” One of the women said.

“It’s been a long day,” Patrick told them. “We need to get going.”

Patrick turned to David. “Ready?”

David nodded. Held up his hand to Patrick. Patrick took it and helped pull David up.

David held up the blanket. Folded it carefully. If he were being honest with you, he’d admit that he did it to be a little spiteful. He could have balled it up under his arm and it would have been fine. But something in him wanted to hold it up.

_Oh, this blanket? Yes, this is my favorite. It belongs to my boyfriend. We take naps under it. Sometimes I wrap my naked body in it after he fucks me, good and hard._

Patrick handed David the keys, leaned toward him. “Can you go out to the car by yourself? I want to say some good-byes.”

“Sure,” David said quietly. He turned to the group, “Thanks everyone. I had a lovely evening.”

Several of them waved and called a farewell to him. A couple of them moved to shake his hand.

Rachel walked with him to the back door. “Good to see you David. Take care.”

“You too, Rachel. Thank you for having me.” He said cordially. He entered the cabin, walked through it, and walked out the front door to the car.

Hoping he never had to return.

++++++

Patrick made his way through the group. Hugs. Pats on the back. A fist bump or two.

It took all of his willpower to not tell them off. There was no reason to, really. None of it mattered. He wouldn’t be hanging out with them again. His father always told him to never burn bridges just to watch them burn.

When he stood in front of Zach, they didn’t have much to say.

“Be good to her, Man.” Patrick said. “Be good to her.”

“When have I ever not been good?” Zach said with a cocky smile.

Patrick rolled his eyes and pulled his old friend in for a hug. He knew much of Zach’s demeanor was bluster and deep down he was a good guy. And he knew that, in the end, it was Rachel’s life. She could be with whomever she wanted to be with. She was no longer Patrick’s responsibility. And, honestly? She never was. She was a grown woman. A strong woman. An independent woman. She didn’t need Patrick to protect her.

Rachel walked with him. “Let’s walk around, not through,” She said. She looped her arm through his.

Patrick shrugged. He turned to walk with her around the cabin. His hands in his pockets.

It was dark, so they walked slowly and carefully.

When they rounded the corner, they were secluded. Away from the light of the fire. Away from the noise of the friends. Not yet near the parking area at the front.  
  
Rachel stopped walking. Her arm, through his, held him. Pulled him back.

“Rach?” He asked as he tried to look at her. Though it was dark, he could tell she had something to say.

“I’m sorry,” She said.

“So am I,” He said.

“I love you,” She said.

“I love you, too,” He said.

“Patrick.” She rested her hand on his chest.

He took a step backward. Hands still in his pockets.

“If I…” she started to talk and then stopped.

He remained quiet. He honestly did not want her to continue. But he knew better than to interrupt her. He waited.

She made a noise. He knew the noise. She was holding back tears. Choking them back.

“OK. Just say it,” he said.

++++++

David was surprised to see Patrick come from around the side of the cabin, instead of coming out the front door.

David knew that walk. He was angry.

Patrick got into the car and slammed the door shut.

“Let’s go,” he told David. His tone angry.

David looked up and saw Rachel come from around the side of the cabin. She moved to stand on the front porch. David watched her wipe tears from her cheeks.

“Everything all right?” David asked.

“Let’s go, David,” Patrick said.

“Seatbelt,” David said as he put the car in gear and backed away from the cabin.

Patrick looked up. Locked eyes with Rachel.

Rachel held up a hand to wave them goodbye. Patrick just looked at her until David had the car turned around and was driving down the driveway to the road.

Patrick was quiet on the way back to his parents' house.

As David drove, he snuck looks at him; tried to make small talk. Patrick just sat, his hands folded in his lap, looking out the passenger window. David thought he noticed tears. He said nothing.

He parked the car. Pulled the keys out of the ignition. Waited for Patrick.

“Patrick?” David said his name quietly. His hand resting on Patrick’s thigh.

Patrick said nothing. Opened the car door and got out of the car.

He slammed the car door behind himself as he headed for the house.

David trailed behind him.

+++

End Part 2 of 3

+++


	36. Home: Part 3 of 3 – Clint and Marcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick return from their evening with Rachel and Patrick's friends from high school. They talk through their concerns. David tells Patrick what he needs. Clint and Marcy process what they learn. The following day, David and Marcy spend time together while Patrick and Clint work in the barn. Patrick talks with Rachel. David and Patrick are sent home with love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place between 5.12 and 5.13 and is part 3 of 3 chapters. 
> 
> +++
> 
> ***TRIGGER WARNING***
> 
> Arguing, cussing, tears. 
> 
> ***END WARNING***
> 
> +++
> 
> Honestly? Nobody likes to wait for the resolution of a cliffhanger. 
> 
> Plus... I have a couple of really important chapters to finish if you you're going to have some things to read over the holidays. *Winking face emoji*
> 
> I hope you enjoy. *Blue heart emoji*
> 
> \- PD
> 
> +++

++++++

David was surprised to see Patrick come from around the side of the cabin, instead of coming out the front door.

David knew that walk. Patrick was angry.

Patrick got into the car and slammed the door shut.

“Let’s go,” he told David.

David looked up and saw Rachel come from around the side of the cabin. She moved to stand on the front porch. David watched her wipe tears from her cheeks.

“Everything all right?” David asked.

“Let’s go, David,” Patrick said again.

“Seatbelt,” David said as he put the car in gear and backed away from the cabin.

Patrick looked up. Locked eyes with Rachel.

Rachel held up a hand to wave them goodbye. Patrick just looked at her until David had the car turned around and was driving down the driveway to the road.

Patrick was quiet on the way back to his parents’ house. As David drove, he snuck looks at him; tried to make small talk. Patrick just sat, his hands folded in his lap, looking out the passenger window. David thought he noticed tears. He said nothing.

He parked the car. Pulled the keys out of the ignition. Waited for Patrick.

“Patrick?” David said his name quietly. His hand resting on Patrick’s thigh.

Patrick said nothing. Opened the car door and got out of the car.

He slammed the car door behind himself as he headed for the house.

David trailed behind him.

++++++

Marcy heard them pull into the driveway. She was excited to go downstairs and ask about the night. Hoping… knowing that Patrick must have had a lovely time with his old friends. They’d hosted the group at the Brewer house on many occasions over the years and they always seemed to have a great time together. They were such a fun group of kids.

She peeked out her window and watched them leave the car. Her brow furrowed as she took in the body language of her son. She moved to her bedroom door, ready to head downstairs to talk to them. Find out how their evening went.

She stopped in her tracks at the top of the stairs as she heard their voices. Listened to their words. Heard the tension there. She backed up, intending to give them their privacy.

She couldn’t turn away. She stood in her bedroom doorway and listened. Realizing she was eavesdropping, but knowing that her concern for her son could not let her leave them in privacy once she heard the conversation start.

She called upon every muscle in her body to stay put. She ached to go and hold her boy.

++++++

Oblivious to the goings on in the front yard, Clint walked from the barn to the house. His final look at the animals complete, the barn locked up. He stomped up the stairs that led to the back porch, knocking off any mud and muck that had collected on his boots.

Clint entered the dark kitchen and kicked off his muck boots. Set them by the back door. Locked the door.

He heard the boys come in the front door and smiled. He was anxious to hear how their night went. He headed to cross the kitchen, toward the front room, when the tone of their conversation hit him. He realized it was not a conversation that needed interrupted.

He suddenly felt trapped. He didn’t want to overhear their very private conversation. But he didn’t want to make any noises that would draw attention to himself, and opening up the back door would surely do that. He didn’t want to disturb them and make them stop.

He didn’t know what to do, so he walked quietly in his sock-covered feet to the laundry room just off the kitchen. There was no door to shut that would provide them the privacy they should have had. He walked deep into the narrow, dark room. He leaned against the washer. Crossed his arms. Lowered his head. Shut his eyes. His heart ached for his son.

++++++

“Patrick, please.” David’s voice was soft. Gentle. Pleading.

As he entered the living room of his parents’ house; his childhood home. The room he knew like the back of his hand.

He felt trapped. His heart beat rapidly in his chest.

He turned to look at David. Took off his hat and threw it across the room in anger.

“David… what? What do you want?” The whisper he thought he was using was exaggerated; not as quiet as he thought. He’d kept a solid buzz all night long; and though he was not drunk, he was not fully sober.

David quietly shut the front door. Locked it. “You cried most of the way home. I don’t know… I want to… How can I help you?”

Patrick’s hands found their way into his pockets. He jammed them as far in as they’d go. His fists balled up. He shook his head; stared at his feet. “No. No, I’m fine.”

“Sweetie…”

“Stop it, David. Don’t be condescending.” Patrick bit at him. His voice, not quiet.

The words caused David to recoil. “OK.” He whispered. “Sorry.”

They stood in silence.

“I’m going to bed.” Patrick headed for the stairway.

“Patrick. Please don’t.” David reached out and touched his arm. “Please let’s talk.”

Patrick shrugged away from David’s touch. His back to David. But he stopped. He knew they should talk. Knew David would worry about him all night if they didn’t.

He didn’t want to tell him about what Rachel said. He didn’t. There was no reason for both of them to be upset. But Patrick couldn’t unhear it. And that meant… he needed to tell David.

“OK,” Patrick conceded. “Let’s go to your room so we don’t wake my folks.”

“No,” David shook his head. Didn’t move from where he stood. “House rules, you can’t go in there.”

“It’s a stupid, _fucking_ rule,” Patrick spat out.

“Patrick!” David’s face, as well as his voice, showed his shock.

Though Patrick’s parents had not told David directly that they couldn’t both be in the guest room, Marcy _did_ show David to “His room,” and Clint _did_ carry Patrick’s bag upstairs to his childhood bedroom. David knew the rules of the house; and there was no way he would break them. He was frustrated that Patrick kept pushing the boundaries.

“They won’t know if I spend the night in there. I’ll get up in the morning.” Patrick took a step toward the hallway.

“No. Patrick. I told you… won’t disrespect your parents like that.” David said. He took a step back, away from Patrick.

“David, just…” Patrick raised his hand, held it up in the direction of the hallway that led to the guest room.

David moved and sat on the couch. Shook his head. “We need to talk here.”

“Let’s go outside, then.” Patrick walked toward the front door.

“Bugs.” David shook his head. “And I’ve been outside longer than I ever needed to be tonight.”

Patrick leaned his back against the front door. Arms crossed over his chest. His head down. “OK. OK.” He whispered.

David moved to him. Stood in front of him. Both of his hands settled on Patrick’s muscled shoulders. Rubbed him. “Just tell me. Don’t make me work to get it out of you.”

Patrick huffed. His eyes darted to the side. He said, “I don’t know what you mean.”

David nodded and said quietly, “Yes. You do.”

They locked eyes and Patrick’s tears started again. First his eyes grew red, wet. Then large drops of tears left his eyes. Down his cheeks.

“Patrick. Sweet man.” David wiped at the tears with his thumbs. “Tell me. Please.”

“I don’t… I’m not sure.” Patrick shook his head. “It’s just… a lot.”

A sob escaped his throat. He covered his mouth with his hand too late. The noise echoed through the room.

David pulled him close. “Shhh.” Made quiet soothing noises to him. David’s hand cupped the back of Patrick’s head. His other hand rubbed Patrick’s back. “It’s OK. Let it out. I’ve got you.”

Patrick clutched David’s back. One hand fisted David’s sweatshirt. The other wrapped up and around his shoulder. Grasped him tightly. His knees went weak.

When he wept in the car, he worked to hold in the tears. He was quiet. He worked to control his breathing.

Now, alone in the living room with David’s arms around him, with David keeping him safe, he let go of that control. Sobs shook his body. He gasped for breath. Noises came out of him. Noises that came from deep within his chest. He clung to David.

David’s hands tried to hold him tightly while still moving and soothing him. He whispered to him. Words flowed from David in an attempt to quiet him. David had never seen him so upset.

_I’ve got you, Mr. Brewer._

_I love you._

_Take your time._

_Let it out._

_Baby, Shhhh._

_It will be OK._

It felt good to not forcibly hold them in. Once Patrick let them out, they flowed. The tears. The sobs. He could not, in that moment, explain it. There were so many emotions cascading through his body.

It wasn’t just about Rachel. It was about all of it. _All of them._

He had no words. He just clung to the love of his life and let David’s words wash over and sooth him.

Eventually, after the sobs wracked his body, Patrick’s body calmed.

He followed David’s lead and took a deep breath. Then another. Then another.

David pulled back from Patrick just enough so that he could press his forehead to Patrick’s. They breathed together.

In. Out.

In. Out.

In. Out.

“OK?” David asked him quietly.

Patrick’s mouth pulled back into a slight grin that did not reach his eyes. He nodded. “OK.”

“Let’s get you something to drink.” David walked toward the dark kitchen his hand holding on to Patrick’s; pulling Patrick along with him.

“No. I’ve had too much to drink tonight.” Patrick said.

“Water. Soda. Tea?” David walked to the kitchen. Left the light off. Opened the refrigerator.

“Water.” Patrick sat down at the kitchen table.

David moved through the kitchen, familiar enough with where the glasses were. He tore a paper towel from the roll and dampened it with cool water.

He sat down at the table beside Patrick; brought with him two glasses of water.

Handed Patrick the damp paper towel. Patrick pressed it to his face. Took another deep breath. Blew his nose.

“I need you to tell me what that was about. I’ve never, other than our dark period, seen you so emotional.” David said.

“It was… a lot… being there tonight with them… and you.” Patrick said.

David sipped his water. Waited. Held all of his thoughts… and David had many, many thoughts. But he knew that Patrick didn’t need them in that moment.

“Did they seem happy to you? Rachel and Zach?” Patrick tilted his head to the side and looked at David.

David shrugged his shoulders, not really wanting to comment. He shook his head. “I don’t know them well enough to say.”

Patrick leaned on the table. Rubbed both his hands over his face.

David watched him. They sat quietly. He waited, but Patrick didn’t say anything more.

David spoke quietly. “It was the singing, wasn’t it? When you two sang together. I saw something happen in your face. Your body.”

“David. We don’t have to talk about this. I don’t want to upset you. I love you.” Patrick said. His voice nearly a whisper.

“Mr. Brewer. I know you love me. I don’t question that. Just tell me. Trust me with it.” David quietly pleaded with him.

“I don’t know. The talk we had in the cabin. And then… Yeah... I guess. Singing with Rachel. It was so… David that was one of the things that used to connect us. When things weren’t working for us… you know…when I didn’t want to…” Patrick made the sign for sex. Smacked the end of his fist with the palm of his other hand.

“I understand.” David suppressed a smile. Nodded. Relieved that his sweet Patrick who couldn’t say the word sex was back.

“When nothing else connected us, I played. I sang to her… we sang together…”

David’s heart ached with jealousy. He used to be jealous when he thought of Patrick singing _to_ her.

But tonight? Tonight, he saw them… heard them… sing _together_. And that was somehow far more difficult to witness. They were beautiful together. Not just how they sounded. But…when David saw them together… sitting side by side. They looked like the perfect couple. And David didn’t like that. He didn’t like it at all. He knew it wasn’t rational, but since when were feelings rational?

David searched for the right words, “You both sounded lovely, singing together tonight.”

“Did you hear us? When we were in the cabin talking?” Patrick shifted the conversation.

“Arguing you mean?” David sipped his water.

“Yeah,” Patrick nodded. “She told me that they think I found you online and we had an affair while I was still with Rachel.”

“WHAT?!” David stood. His voice pierced the darkness around them.

“Shhh. Don’t wake my parents.” Patrick said.

“Who is _they_ in this scenario? Who thinks this?” David asked.

“According to her… they all think it. Sounds like maybe Zach’s the one who planted the seed.” Patrick said.

“So… they think the two of us met online and had some sort of illicit liaison and then you left everything here to … go live at _Ray’s_?” David asked.

“Well… to be fair, they don’t know I lived at Ray’s. They probably think I live with you.” Patrick told him.

“Why would they think that you would do such a thing?” David asked.

“She said it was too out of character that I’d just up and move away and go there… where I ‘ _happened’_ to meet you within a week of landing there.” Patrick said, then added, “And we _‘happened’_ to go into business with each other even though we barely knew each other. And I just _‘happened’_ to decide I liked guys.” Patrick’s fingers wiggled in the air each time he said the word _happened._

“Put the fucking air quotes away please.” David waved his hands in front of Patrick as though he could erase seeing his fingers wiggle in the air.

Patrick chuckled.

“Well… it’s clear to me that your friends have never seen a classic romcom… or read a long and involved fan fiction series.” David sat back down. “Our meet-cute is _very plausible_.”

Patrick softly smiled, “Maybe they just needed to explain away that I would make a conscious decision to leave. I don’t know.”

“And all of them supposedly thought this?” David asked. “Everyone there tonight.”

“Yeah.” Patrick nodded.

“And nobody said a word to us about it,” David clarified.

“Nope.” Patrick said.

David stood again. Refilled his water glass. Reached for Patrick’s and refilled it. Handed it back.

Patrick sighed.

David saw it on his face. There was more.

“There’s more.” David said. He sat.

“She’s not happy.” Patrick said.

“Now, how do you know that. She looked happy.” David challenged him. But then added, “Well… happy enough.” He took a sip of his water. Hell, he didn’t know her well enough. She was hard to read.

“Because…before we left…” Patrick stopped talking.

David scooted to the end of his seat. The fingertips of his right hand touched Patrick’s knee. “What?”

Patrick, elbows on the table, hands on each side of his water glass. His head hug low. He looked at his lap.

“Patrick. _Fuck_.” David’s voice grew loud again. “Just tell me. Don’t make me pull this shit out of you. It’s been a long _fucking day_ and I just need you to say it all. Talk to me.”

“She asked me if I was sure.” Patrick said.

“Sure? If you’re gay?” David stood. “What _the hell_ , Patrick?!” His voice was angry again. His hands flew in the air around him as he paced the floor of the kitchen. He didn’t monitor his volume. “I thought she was supposed to be this understanding, gentle spirit.”

“David, don’t wake my parents,” Patrick told him.

“Sorry,” David said quietly.

“She asked me if I was sure. Then… then she said she was sorry she had pressured me to have sex, because she felt like that was what drove me away…” Patrick said. He paused. Took a slow drink of water.

“And?” David looked down at him. Growing increasingly annoyed not only at the story he was hearing, but the fact that Patrick wasn’t just saying it all outright.

“She said she’d rather live with her best friend and not have sex than live with someone she had good sex with and didn’t…like.”

“Well, that’s sad,” David crossed his arms over his chest.

“I know.” Patrick nodded.

“Is that all?” David asked. His hands on his hips as he stood in the middle of the dark kitchen.

“No,” Patrick rested his forehead in his hands. His elbows resting on the table.

“Patrick Brewer. Say it all right now. I swear to god I’m tired of dragging information out of you.” David was angry. His voice stern.

Patrick sat up straight in his chair, the words rushed out of him. “She said if I wanted to be with men, she could tolerate that. If we were together and I wanted someone on the side. She asked me if she did that, if I’d come back.”

David had no words. His face showed the shock he felt. He walked to the sink. Filled his glass with more water. Drank it all down.

The silence in the room was deafening.

He turned to look at Patrick. Remained silent. Held in every single thing he wanted to say because none of them, absolutely none of them were gracious.

Patrick spoke. “In all the times we’ve talked… and David, you know she and I have talked dozens of times over the past year…”

David cut him off. “I know you have.”

“She’s never, ever, given me any indication she felt like…”

“Everything you’ve ever said about her…” David began to tick them all off while he held out a finger for each one of the descriptors: “She’s strong. Kind. Empathetic. Intelligent. Independent. Feminist. Patrick… this behavior… it doesn’t fit with how you’ve described her to me.” David told him his voice thick with anger.

Patrick shrugged. “She was… different… this time.”

“You said when you came out to her… at the motel… she was…”

Patrick interrupted him. “She was angry at first, but then she seemed to understand. She said she wanted what I wanted in order to be happy. Seemed ready to move on.”

David filled in more of the story. “And then she got together with Zach. And then later we saw her when we were here. She was…”

Patrick interrupted him again. “Happy. She seemed happy.”

“And tonight?” David asked.

“She was different. Angry. At both of us. You… and me.” Patrick looked at him seriously.

“Well… she was drunk, poor thing. And I was flaunting the blanket. And you were all handsy. Maybe she was just…”

“I did that to her. I damaged her…”

“Patrick, you can’t…”

“I’m selfish, David.” Patrick stood. He walked to the sink to stand near David. “Everything I did… leaving here… leaving her… it was so selfish. She’s right. It was out of character for me to do that.” Patrick told him.

“What would you do differently? Stay in a relationship with someone… fuck… _get married_ to someone you weren’t sexually compatible with? You tried to do that. For years you tried. To please her; to please your parents. You don’t think that would have hurt her? To stay in that?”

Patrick nodded. His eyes, still holding tears, locked with David’s in the dark room. “I know. Logically I know. I just feel so… guilty.”

“Guilty for what? Finally, being content in your own skin? For being happy in a secure relationship?” David asked him.

Patrick shrugged. “Both?”

The two men fell silent.

It was David who spoke first. “Patrick… Is there any part of you… even a little part…? Do you regret being with me?”

Without hesitating Patrick told him, “No, of course not. I love us.”

“Patrick. I can’t handle another big reveal of a secret. I need to know. Even if there’s the tiniest seedling of doubt.” David told him. “Don’t keep it a secret from me.”

“What are you talking about? Big reveal? I don’t have any secrets.” Patrick said.

“Stop. You know what I’m talking about. Not telling me she even existed until you were caught at the barbecue. Not telling me that you weren’t out to your parents until they showed up for your party.” David challenged him.

“Are we holding on to all of that?” Patrick asked. He sat down at the table, hoping to calm the conversation. “I thought we were forgiving and forgetting.”

“Forgiving. But I can’t forget it. Twice you’ve kept significant things from me. Twice you’ve kept me in the dark for months… Patrick… _MONTHS_. All the while you could have told me.” David told him. Finally alleviating the pressure on his heart that he’d been holding for a week.

“I didn’t want to set you off.” Patrick offered up. The excuse felt lame, even to him.

“That’s not fair. Both were significant pieces of information about you that I needed to know to be in an honest relationship. And, both were really big things to hold.” David told him honestly.

“David you don’t how hard that was. Coming out to them at my age. They… for my whole life… they thought I was one thing. And then… suddenly… I had to tell them I wasn’t. I was something else. It was terrifying.”

“I understand that.” David said. Working hard to keep his anger at bay.

“You told me yourself that yours was easy. You just … brought home the people you were seeing. No big deal. So, I’d like a little more understanding that it took me some time.” Patrick said.

“M’Kay. Stop. That’s not fair. I was trying to support you when I told you that.” David said.

“So…” Patrick shook his head. “Are you saying your coming-out story… the one you told me…wasn’t true?”

“It was true,” David eyed him. Holding his tongue.

Patrick shrugged. “You had it easier than I did. Admit it.”

David held a finger up to Patrick. “Let me tell you something, Patrick Brewer. You don’t know how good you have it. Your parents are… _fuck_ … who are they? They’re Ron Weasley’s parents for fuck’s sake. They’re the nicest, most supportive parents one could ask for. Sure… of course… you didn’t want to disappoint them. But did you _honestly think_ , Patrick,… honestly? that they would not love you after you told them?”

Patrick was quiet. He mumbled. “No. I knew they’d still love me. But it was still scary.”

“Your dad… Patrick. He got out of that booth at the café and told you he was _proud of you_.” David’s voice cracked when he said the words. Then he added, “Your mom… she couldn’t stop holding you. Kissing you.”

David made a noise. Deep in his throat as he struggled to hold in the emotions he was feeling.

Patrick watched him. Watched all the emotions cross his face as David continued, “When I came out to my dad, he said _OK_ …. OK, Patrick! Then he went back to work. My mom?” David cleared his throat. “When I tried to tell her, she screamed at me to leave her _the fuck_ alone because she was getting a massage, Patrick. And later, when I tried again to tell her, she was wasted and couldn’t carry on a coherent conversation. She never once said a word to me about it. I don’t know… I mean… she knew at some point that I’m…” David stopped speaking. He sighed. Shook his head. Waved his hands in front of himself as though trying to erase the entire conversation. “Sorry.” He whispered.

The room was quiet.

Patrick watched him. His eyes moved over David’s face as he unloaded his emotions.

“You’re right.” Patrick said solemnly. “You’re right. I had it easier.”

“I’m not saying _that_ , Patrick. _God_!” David was frustrated.

“Then, what are you saying, David? Because, I’m…”

“I’m saying no more secrets, Patrick! I’m saying you can’t keep things from me. _From ME_ , Patrick. I cannot… I will not be blindsided by you again.” David told him. Stern in his conviction.

Patrick nodded. Shrugged. “OK.”

“You need to understand this. You get two of those.” David held up two fingers. “That’s it.”

“Meaning?” Patrick asked him.

“Meaning, you intentionally kept me in the dark twice. Twice, Patrick.” David said. Then he took a deep breath. Let it out slowly. “That will not happen _thrice_!”

Patrick nodded. Wide eyed.

David continued, “I’m your person. Your partner… in business and in love. And you intentionally kept me in the dark. That hurt me… too badly to go through it again. You get two of those. Two.” David held up two fingers. Then he whispered, “That won’t happen again.”

“No. You’re right. It won’t.” Patrick shook his hand.

“The baseball has a rule. Three strikes and you’re out,” David said. His eyes locked on Patrick’s.

Patrick eyed David. Looked at his face. Looked at his body language. David meant business. He was serious. Patrick nodded, “Understood. I promise.”

“M’Kay,” David nodded. He took a deep breath. Swiped his hands down the front of his thighs. Grounded himself. “Now... can we please go back to talking about Rachel? She still wants you back?”

“Basically… that’s what she said.” Patrick nodded.

“Was she just drunk and rambling, or…?”

“Not sure.” Patrick shrugged.

David thought for a moment before he decided to ask the question that would nag at him later if he didn’t ask it. “And, you? Do you want her back? Do you want the arrangement she offered? Live with her and… have a _little piece_ on the side?”

“Jesus, David.” The entire thought was so ridiculously distasteful that Patrick chuckled.

David shrugged his shoulders. Shook his head. “I don’t know what’s in your head, Patrick Brewer. I’m a little shy at assumption-making right now. If there is even the slightest doubt in your mind…"

Patrick stood. He moved to David. Stood in front of him. Patrick’s hands rested on David’s waist. “David. You are the only one I want. We’ve been through that. You have to trust me. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found you when I did. I am _one-hundred percent_ in love with you.”

David’s face crinkled as he squinted an eye and pursed his lips. “It’s just that if you were really _all in_ , you could have said you are one-hundred _and ten_ percent in love with me.”

Patrick chuckled. “That’s mathematically impossible. I am one-hundred percent in love with you.”

David tilted his head from side to side. “M’Kay. If you’re going to be a mathematical stickler.” He pulled his lips into his mouth. Holding in a grin.

“You like that I’m a mathematical stickler,” Patrick leaned into him with a smile. His soft lips pressed against David’s.

“I do. It’s why I finally gave in to your advances… so you’d do my taxes.” David returned Patrick’s kiss.

David leaned his forehead against Patrick’s. Shut his eyes. Sighed quietly.

“What are you thinking?” Patrick whispered.

“We can’t leave here without you talking with her.” David told him.

“Honestly?” Patrick said. “I don’t think I need to. Just… let’s just spend the day with Mom and Dad tomorrow. Enjoy ourselves. And then on Monday go back home. I don’t need to see her again. Ever.”

“So… you want to run away from her again.” David nodded.

Patrick shut his eyes. Leaned against David. Rested his forehead on David’s shoulder.

“You’re right.” Patrick agreed.

“Patrick if you don’t tell her what you’re feeling, it will bother you. It will eat you alive.” David told him.

Patrick moved to the table. Pulled his phone out of his pocket. Sat down.

“What? Tonight?” David asked him.

“Yeah. If I don’t, I’ll talk myself out of it.” Patrick sent a text.

_You (11:41 pm):_

‘Rachel. We have to talk through it. Not tonight. Headed to bed. Tomorrow. On the phone or in person. We have to.’ *Red heart emoji*

He stood. Held his phone up. Showed the text to David.

“You needed to send her a heart emoji?” David teased. He smiled.

“Not a blue one. Those are for you.” Patrick winked at him.

David shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I suppose I should be glad it wasn’t an eggplant.”

“I save those for you, too,” Patrick said as he returned his phone to his pocket and pulled David close. He pressed his lips to David’s. His tongue slid slowly into David’s mouth. The kiss deep. Passionate.

David’s hands moved down Patrick’s back and cupped his ass. Squeezed him.

Patrick’s hand moved to the back of David’s head; his fingers massaged David’s scalp as he pulled David even closer.

As he kissed him, he moved David back against the wall near the doorway that led from the kitchen to the living room. 

“I love you, David.” Patrick said quietly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Mr. Brewer.” David told him.

“Take me to bed with you?” Patrick asked.

“No, Patrick. I’m sorry.” David kissed his forehead. Pulled him close for a hug.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight.” Patrick told him.

“We’ll talk on the phone. You won’t be alone.” David told him.

“Tonight… was a lot. I want to hold you, David. I don’t want any doubt creeping into either of our brains. I need your arms around me. We don’t have to have sex, but you know we need to keep talking.” Patrick’s voice became emotional. He added, “I won’t be able to rest without…”

David held him close and spoke quietly to him. “Sweetie. I know. But please, don’t. Your parents are just getting used to us being a couple. They _barely_ know me… at least as your boyfriend. They have house rules and we need to respect them.”

“David...” Patrick began to argue.

David cut him off, sternly. “Patrick.”

At that moment, Clint walked by them. Appeared from the kitchen as if out of nowhere.

“Fellas,” he said as he breezed past them and quickly ascended the stairs.

Both of them jumped when they heard him. Turned to look at him. Looked at each other.

“What the fuck?” David whispered quietly so that only Patrick could hear him.

They both took a step and leaned to look up the stairs.

Clint trotted up the stairs and at the top he saw Marcy. She stood in the doorway of their bedroom. Out of sight from David and Patrick. She stood in her pajamas. Tears ran down her face. They locked eyes. Clint’s own blue eyes were red from tears he had shed moments before.

“We’re changing the rules, Marse.” He told her quietly.  
  
She nodded her head. “Yes,” She whispered.

He moved to Patrick’s bedroom. Gathered Patrick’s suitcase, tucked the few things he had laid out into it. Zipped it closed. Took it with him as he went downstairs.

David and Patrick, still looking shocked and confused in the living room, watched him approach.

When he stepped off the stairs, he held out the suitcase. Held it out to Patrick.

Patrick’s heart stopped. He didn’t understand what was happening. “Dad?”

“New house rule. You stay in the room where you want to stay. With whomever you want to stay with. We’re all adults. We’re all… family.” Clint nodded. Motioned with the movement of his arm that Patrick should take the bag from him. “Should have done this from the beginning.”

Patrick breathed out a sound. A laugh. A sigh. Shock. Relief. He took the suitcase from his dad. Felt David’s hand come to rest on his lower back.

“But… What about… Mom?” Patrick asked, hesitantly.

Marcy’s voice from the top of the stairs surprised them. “Mom’s fine. Mom loves you… both.”

Both David and Patrick, leaned so they could look up to see her. Standing in her pajamas at the top of the stairs.

“Love you, too, Mom.” Patrick smiled up at his mom.

He set the suitcase on the floor. He turned to his dad, “Love you, Dad.”

Clint embraced his son. Patted his back. “Love you too, Son. I’m sorry that we overheard…”

“It’s OK.” Patrick shook his head. “Saves me having to retell it.” He chuckled. He reached his hand back for David, who grabbed it and held it in both of his.

“It’s OK.” David whispered. Nodded at Patrick’s dad.

“You boys get some rest,” Clint said as he moved to the stairs.

David reached out and touched his arm. “Thank you,” he held out his hand for Clint to shake it.

Clint looked at David’s hand and clasped it in his own. Shook it and pulled David in for a half shake, half hug.

While in Patrick’s Dad’s arms, David felt awkward. Uncomfortable. But he was moved. Touched by the entire exchange. “Thank you, Mr. Brewer,” He said. His voice emotional. Quiet.

Clint nodded as they pulled out of their hug. “ _Please_. David.” He looked David in the eyes, “Please, call me _Clint_.”

David, realized that Patrick’s dad had heard their entire exchange. Had heard David call Patrick his pet name for him. He pulled his lips into his mouth to attempt to suppress a smile. He closed his eyes as he nodded. “ _Clint._ Thank you.”

Clint looked at his son. Saw his face turn pink with embarrassment. Clint winked. “Sleep well, boys.” He turned and ascended the stairs where his wife met him with open arms.

++++++

“He’s your son, you know.” She said as she settled into her side of the bed.

“I have no idea what you mean.” Clint smiled as he pulled on his pajama pants.

“He holds in every emotion and made David drag every thought he was having out of his head.” Marcy told him. She reached over as he sat on the side of the bed and swatted his lower back, just above his rear end.

“He’s just serious. Has to think things through before he says it out loud. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Clint smiled into the dark room. Set the alarm on his phone. Rolled onto his back and stretched out his arm to accommodate his wife who snuggled up to him.

She rested her head on his shoulder. Her hand stroked the bare flesh of his chest. “They really do love each other.”

“They do.” His arm around her pulled her nearer. “It’s all we dreamed for him.”

“Almost all.” Marcy said quietly.

“One step at a time, Mom. One step at a time.” Clint said.

He leaned over and kissed his wife.

“I’m just pleased that he’s in a strong relationship,” She said.

“They seemed to balance each other.” Clint said.

“David’s parents? When he came out?” Marcy said quietly.

“I’m guessing he was young. They were different people back then.” Clint said. Then he added, “I spent time with that man. He very proud of his kids. Talks about their accomplishments in great detail.”

“It would seem he doesn’t tell his kids…” Marcy began.

“Not our business, Marse.” Clint told her.

“Well, hearing David say what he did. It broke my heart,” Marcy said. “Made me want to walk right down the stairs and pull him into my arms.”

They lay quietly. Both lost in thought.

A knock at the door caused Marcy to jump. She wasn’t used to someone else being in the house.

“Yup?” Clint called.  
  
Patrick’s head peered into their room. He smiled as he eyed his parents. Cuddled together in bed. “Night… Mom. Dad.”

“Did you get settled in down there?” Clint asked him.

“Yeah. Taking turns in the bathroom. He’s in there now.” Patrick indicated by pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

“Sounds like you had a rough night,” Marcy said. “I’m so sorry.”

Clint sat up in bed. Ready to get up if his son needed to talk.

“Kinda sad. Feels like I’m closing a chapter of my life.” Patrick said.

“Seems like it’s been closed for a while, Son,” Clint said. “Maybe you just needed to see it to acknowledge it.”

“Yeah,” Patrick nodded. Then he added, “Sorry you had to hear all of that.”

“I’d tell you I’m sorry for eavesdropping, but I’m rather glad that I did.” Clint tilted his head as he spoke. “The way you two work through a problem? Son, that was…”

Clint paused.

Patrick looked at his dad. Remained silent.

Clint continued. “What I mean to say is… the two of you are a good fit, Son. I’m really glad you have David… we’re both glad you have David. That he has you.”

Patrick pressed his lips together. The corners of his mouth pulled back in a grin. “Thanks, Dad.”

Patrick moved to pull the door shut and then opened it again. “Mom?”

Marcy leaned up on an elbow and looked at her son. Looking like he did as a 9-year-old boy standing in her bedroom doorway. “Yes, Honey?”

“We’re not going to church tomorrow. It’s been a long day. I imagine we’re nowhere near finished talking through this… situation. And… I don’t want to have to wake him up in the morning to sit through a service that…”

Marcy shook her head. “I don’t want to go either. We’ll all sleep in.”

“Another time, Mom. We can go another time.” Patrick promised.

“Good night, my sweet boy.” Marcy said. “I love you and I always will.”

Patrick entered their room. Rounded their bed and leaned over his mom for a hug. Gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Love you,” he whispered.

Before he left the room, he moved to his dad who had stood by the bed. The two men embraced again. Hearty pats on the back accompanied their expressions of love. His dad kissed his cheek. And then Patrick left the room.

“What is Rachel thinking?” Marcy tsked as she settled back into her husband’s embrace.

“Let’s let them deal with it,” He told her.

“I know. I will. But… Honey. That was… my god what was she thinking?”

“Well, you know… we Brewer men. We’re hard to resist.” Clint chuckled and rolled toward his wife, tickling her in that spot on her side. Sending her into a burst of giggles.

++++++

David was stepping out of the bathroom when Patrick was coming down stairs. He was rubbing his hands together, working lotion over his skin.

“Want something from the kitchen?” Patrick asked.

“Just a glass of water, thank you,” David told him and headed into the bedroom. He needed to hydrate. Otherwise the stress was going to make his skin look terrible in the morning.

When Patrick returned, two glasses of water in hand, David was sitting on his side of the bed. Patrick grinned. He found it amusing that no matter what bedroom they might land in, David always slept on the same side.

Well… every bed but David’s own bed. In which case he always made Patrick sleep “closest to the door”… _because of murderers_.

He handed David his water. He set his own glass down. “Gonna go shower,” he said as he dug through his bag.

“Setting my alarm,” David said. “What time are we leaving for church?”

“We aren’t.” Patrick said.

David let out an audible sigh, “Thank you.”

“Don’t set the alarm. Sleep as late as you want.”

David rolled onto his back. One arm flung over his eyes.

Patrick eyed him. Let his eyes rake over David’s body. From the little red heart on the black and white, long-sleeved t-shirt he wore to the white pajama pants that Patrick had bought for him. To his bare feet. To his long toes.

“I love you, David.” Patrick said before he left the room to shower.

“Mmmm.” David made a sound.

++++++

David was sleeping, his back to Patrick when Patrick settled into bed. He moved, as he always did, to spoon David.

As he pressed against David’s back, wrapped his arm around David, David shifted and made a sound.

David loved having the warmth of Patrick against him. He rolled back to press closer to him. Felt Patrick kiss his shoulder.

He felt safe. He was always safe in Patrick’s arms. And he was never safer than when they were quietly in bed, in the middle of the night, in each other’s arms.

David knew he needed more information. Knew if he didn’t ask now, he would have to hold it.

“Patrick?… Did you know you were going to meet me?” David asked him. His voice just barely above a whisper.

“No,” Patrick said. Then corrected himself, “I mean… yes, but no. Not like you mean.”

“More information please.”

Patrick clarified. Complete honesty. “Not before I moved to town. I really just picked Ray because he was furthest away from here.”

“And me?”

“The morning of the appointment, Ray told me about you. About your family’s story. I vaguely recalled the news stories, but didn’t know anything about you specifically.”

“M’Kay,” David said. His hand reached back and patted Patrick’s hip.

“I did Google the hell out of you after that,” Patrick told him. “But you knew that.”

“Yes.” David said quietly. His fingers brushing lightly over the skin of Patrick’s arm.

Patrick waited. His hand, splayed wide, pressed against David’s chest. He knew there were more questions.

“Did you ever cheat on Rachel?” David asked.

Patrick pressed his forehead to the back of David’s neck. “No. I had sex with a handful of girls when she and I were on breaks. Never when we were together.”

“And these breaks? She understood them to be breaks? It wasn’t just you off… playing… while she thought you were together?” David asked.

“They were breaks. We both understood them to be breaks.” Patrick told him.

“And they were all women. None of them were men?” David asked.

“I’ve told you this before.” Patrick told him.

“I just need to confirm. Total honesty, please.” David said. He rolled so he lay on his back. Looking up at Patrick who was leaning over him. “Did you… I don’t know… search for men on the internet?”

Patrick smiled at David. Rested his hand on David’s chest. Shook his head. Told him what he thought David was asking for.

A small smile on his face, Patrick said, “I left here, ran from here, because I was so unhappy. Somehow the stars aligned and I landed at Ray’s where, a week later a beautiful unicorn walked in. I am so lucky. I can’t even explain how lucky.”

“I asked you about searching for men.” David asked. Knowing that Patrick was a master at answering a question by not answering the question.

“After I met you… In the days that followed. When I realized I was having feelings for you... Yeah. I looked online. Not to find a guy to meet. But to look at them. To see if… to figure out why I was turned on when I was with you. You know this. I told you a long time ago, I fell down a porn hole.”

David smiled. “I recall.”

“I was attracted to you, David. You. I didn’t want to meet up with some guy.” Patrick told him as his hand slid down David’s chest, over his abdomen. His fingers worked their way under his shirt. His hands slid back up to David’s chest, under his shirt. He wanted to feel him there. Needed to feel him there.

“But you did… go online…” David asked for clarification. Wanting Patrick to be completely honest.

“Only to jack off to…”

“I hate the phrase jack off, you know this.” David interrupted him quietly.

“Only to masturbate to pictures and videos of strangers. Not to meet anyone.” Patrick said.

“And if you… ever do… seek out someone to meet up with…” David averted his eyes. One hand gripped Patrick’s arm.

“David, I won’t.” Patrick said. His hand moving circles over David’s chest. His fingers playing with David’s chest hair.

“But if you do, Patrick…” David’s eyes moved to lock on Patrick’s. “If you do?”

“I would use a condom… just like I promised you.” Patrick told him. Knowing full well the situation would never happen, but it was what David needed to hear.

“Thank you,” David whispered as he pulled Patrick down to him. Down for a kiss to seal the deal.

David pushed him. His hands on Patrick’s chest. He pushed him back. Pushed him off of him.

“David?” Patrick asked. Concerned that he’d done something wrong.

Patrick found himself being pushed further. Pushed onto his back.

David leaned over him.

Patrick smiled up at him. “Oh.” He said knowingly.

David crawled over Patrick. Sat on top of Patrick. A knee on each side of him. His ass on Patrick’s thighs. His hands pressed flat against the mattress on each side of Patrick, just under his arms.

Patrick’s hands moved to David’s arms. Fingers wrapped loosely around David’s arms near his elbows.

The room was dark, but not so dark that they couldn’t see each other. A sliver of moonlight shown through the curtains and lit David’s face.

“I need her to know that you’re mine.” David said out loud what he’d been holding. “That our relationship isn’t something you’re willing to let go of to _live with a friend_.”

Without hesitation, Patrick nodded and said, “OK.”

David had never told him what he needed in their relationship. Not outright. And tonight, David had done so twice. Once in the kitchen when he told him that he would tolerate no more secrets, and once just then. And, in that moment, Patrick knew he would move heaven and earth to honor those requests.

“Patrick, I’m not going to tell you who you get to be friends with. That’s not who we are.” David told him. “But what she did tonight crossed a line. That was not healthy behavior.”

“It wasn’t,” Patrick agreed. His heart was swelling at David’s passion. The way he was protecting their relationship.

“So… you do what you want. But… I need to say it to you. I need her to know that _you are mine_.” David said. And then he pointed to the chair in the corner of the room, and added irrationally, “And so is Grandma’s blanket.”

“And so is Grandma’s blanket,” Patrick nodded with a smile.

++++++

Patrick, feet flat on the mattress and knees up, bucked his hips up. Needing to be deeper inside him. Deeper. Deeper.

David pushed down on him. Rode him. Hard and fast.

Patrick looked up at him. Patrick’s hands, end to end, gripped David’s cock as David, knees on the mattress, bounced up and down on him.

“Tell me again, Patrick. Tell me.” David, one hand reaching behind him and holding on to Patrick’s knee, pressed his other hand to Patrick’s chest for leverage as he panted, trying to fill is lungs with air.

“Yours, Babe. Only you. You’re the only one.” Patrick told him.

David pushed down on him. Arched his back while Patrick pumped David’s dick. A low and quiet moan escaped his throat, while he came. Up and over Patrick’s hands.

As Patrick felt David’s muscles tighten around his cock, he joined him. He bucked his hips again. Burying himself as deep into David as he could and he emptied himself into the condom while he began the familiar loud moan that he made when he came. David shifted quickly. A hand over Patrick’s mouth to muffle the sound of it.

David leaned low over him. Kissed him. His lips replacing his hand. His tongue sliding into Patrick’s mouth.

David stayed there. One hand pressed into the pillow on each side of Patrick’s head. Patrick’s cock still inside of David. Patrick’s hands still on David’s cock. Noses nearly touching.

“Mine,” David said again as he worked to regain his breath. “Mine.”

“Always,” Patrick panted. “Always.’

David went to move off of him.

Patrick spoke quickly, “No. Please.” He didn’t move his hands to stop him. They were covered in David’s cum and rested on his own abdomen with the entirety of what David had offered.

David, eyes closed and a smile on his curved lips, knew better than to move too quickly. Knew Patrick needed a moment. Appreciated that Patrick had contained the mess to himself. David didn’t want anything to land on the sheets.

After staying longer than he probably should, David said, “I need to move.”

“OK,” Patrick nodded.

David reached behind himself. Felt for the base of Patrick’s cock. Held the condom to Patrick and sat up on his knees. Releasing Patrick from him.

David made a small sound of pleasure. He always liked that feeling. When Patrick pulled out of him after having sex. That last release sent a wave of pleasure through him.

He stood off the bed. Patrick sat up. Stood.  
  
“I can’t go out there naked.” David whispered.

“Why not?” Patrick whispered back, teasing David.

“Your parents.” David said.

“They’re upstairs,” Patrick told him.

David reached for Grandma’s blanket and wrapped it around himself. Up under his armpits. Because… well… nipples are private.

He opened the door and Patrick ran out of the room and into the bathroom across the hall, laughing as he went.

David rolled his eyes as he followed behind him.

++++++

As David urinated, he looked over his shoulder at Patrick who had tied off the condom and dropped it into the waste basket.

“No.” David told him frankly.

“What?” Patrick asked him. Shrugged.

“You’re not leaving that condom just laying there like that. That’s just rude.” David said.

“What do you want me to do with it?” Patrick asked.

“Wrap it in toilet paper?” David asked.

Patrick wrapped toilet paper around it and dropped it into the trash.

“What if she drops something in there and needs to dig through the trash?” David asked him.

“Oh my god.” Patrick rolled his eyes. Took time to wash his hands and abdomen of the cum that had started to dry on him. Then, he picked up the trash bag and tied it up.

Then he walked, naked, from the bathroom. Through the kitchen, where he grabbed the kitchen trash and shoved the bathroom trash deep into it. Tied off that bag, pulled on his dad’s muck boots, and opened the back door.

He walked, naked with the exception of the muck boots, off the porch and over to the area behind the garage where he opened the dumpster, pulled out two bags of trash, put the new bag in the bottom of the bin and then topped it with the older bags of trash.

David, standing on the back porch with Grandma’s blanket wrapped around him nodded and told Patrick, “That should do.”

As Patrick climbed the stairs to the porch, David’s hands made a circle in front of himself as he looked at Patrick. “This is a good look on you.”

++++++

Patrick stirred. The dawning of the morning always stirred him awake. David’s head rested against his shoulder. David’s right arm looped around Patrick’s left. David’s right hand slack against Patrick’s bicep.

He moved as smoothly as he could as he slipped out of bed. He pulled on his underwear. His pajama pants. His t-shirt. He quietly opened the bedroom door and shut it behind himself.  
  
In the bathroom across the hall, he emptied his bladder. Brushed his teeth. Splashed water on his face. He headed for the kitchen to make some tea.

There, quietly puttering around, he found his mother.

He leaned against the archway that led to the kitchen. He quietly watched her for a moment before greeting her, “Good morning, Momma.”

She turned and smiled at him. “Good morning.” She held her arms out to him.

He walked into her hug. Rubbed her back as she rested her head on his shoulder.  
  
He patted her as he moved to release her.

Her arms tightened around him. “I’m not finished yet. Give me a little while longer.” She missed holding her boy in her arms. Missed hearing his heartbeat under her ear. Missed the smell of him.

His arms tightened around her. He held her. Let her hold him.

“Did you boys sleep well?” She asked him. Her arms still tight around his body.

“We did. Thank you for being OK with me staying in his room,” Patrick told her.

“Glad you got some rest.” She told him.

“Mom,” Patrick said. His hands moved to her shoulder and he pulled back a little. She loosened her grip, but kept her hands on his sides. She looked up at him.

He looked down at her, “I’m going to ask him to marry me.”

He watched her face closely. Watched the smile that started on her mouth and moved very quickly across her face to her eyes. “Oh sweetheart.”

She pulled him close again. Squeezed him. “Nothing would make me happier,” She said into his chest.

“Really?” He asked her. He nudged her back again so he could see her face.

She looked up at him. Shook her head. “Does it feel different to you? This time? Different than Rachel?”

“Of course, it does,” He told her. “Everything feels different.”

“Do you… think about a year… five years… twenty years down the road?” She asked him.

“Yeah. Yeah, Mom. I do,” He said. “I really do.”

“I do, too, Patrick,” She told him. “I see it like I’ve never seen it for you before.”

His eyes shifted. He looked over her shoulder, then back at her. Back in her eyes. The corners of his mouth pulled back. “You do? Really?”

“It’s like putting in the last piece of a puzzle. He fits you, Patrick. The two of you together? It just… it feels right.”

++++++

Patrick closed the door gently with his foot. His hands full with the tray he and his mother made. Coffee for David, tea for Patrick. Pancakes. Eggs. Bacon. Toast. Jam. Juice.

He set the tray on the dresser. Crawled into bed.

David had flipped onto his stomach. His face pressed into his pillow. He had pulled Patrick’s pillow close to him. Had it half under his chest.

He was breathing heavily. Mouth open.

Patrick ran his hand down David’s back. Smoothed it over the thin material of his pajamas that covered his ass. He began to massage his ass, his hand slid down the back of David’s thigh and back to his ass.

“Mmmm.” David made a noise of pleasure.  
  
Patrick moved his hand up to David’s hair. Slid his fingers through the thick mop of messy, curly hair at the top of David’s head.

“Don’t stop,” He said into his pillow. “That feels good.”

“This plate of breakfast food my mom made for you may feel better. The pancakes are still hot.” Patrick said.

David opened one eye. The eye that wasn’t smashed into his pillow. His mouth was still mostly pressed into the pillow when he mumbled, “Did you say pancakes?”

“I did,” Patrick got out of bed. Went to retrieve the tray.

David sat up. Blinked. Eyebrows run amok. Hair wild.

“You look beautiful,” Patrick told him honestly.

“You’re blinded by love,” David told him as he got out of bed. “Be right back,” he said as he left the bedroom.

When he stepped into the hall he heard, “Good morning, Honey.”

He turned and saw Patrick’s mom with a tray of her own, obviously headed upstairs.

He stopped. “Good morning, Marcy. Thanks for breakfast.” He held his hands in front of himself. It was morning after all. And he needed to use the facilities. And his pajama pants were thin.

Marcy, the mother of a son, knew not to linger. “See you at lunch,” she said and walked away. Made her way up the stairs while David dodged into the bathroom.

++++++

Patrick looked down at him as he lay curled up against Patrick’s side. His hand draped over Patrick’s thigh. They had eaten their breakfast and then David settled in for what he called his mid-morning nap. Patrick sat up against the headboard. Reading his book and sipping on his tea. His favorite Sunday morning pastime.

David’s hand gripped him. He made a sound. “Mmmm.”

Patrick set his tea down. Closed his book and held it away from David so he could look down at his face.

David’s lips curved into a smile. He mumbled something that Patrick didn’t understand. Patrick smiled as he watched David chuckle. 

It felt good to Patrick. It was only a few months prior that, nearly every night he slept, David experienced terrible nightmares. But lately, when David had dreams, they were pleasant ones. He didn’t always tell Patrick about them, but when he did, they were dreams about their future.

Patrick put his book down on the bedside table. His hand moved to David’s back.

David jerked at the touch. His eyes opened.

Patrick moved. Slid down so he was lying beside David. “You were dreaming.”

“Mmmm.” David pressed his forehead to Patrick’s chest. Rested his hand on Patrick’s side.

“Want to tell me about it?” Patrick asked.

“Shhh.” David made the noise to shush him. “Want to get back to it.”

Patrick’s hand rubbed David’s back. Slid down to the base of his spine. His fingers tucked under David’s shirt.

“I want my dream back,” David mumbled.

“Tell me about it,” Patrick told him. Selfishly wanting to hear a story about their future in the house they would share.

“We were at our house,” David told him.

“What were we doing?” Patrick asked.

“Not you.” David said. He pressed closer to Patrick who was a little taken aback that he wasn’t in the dream.

“You said we were at our house.” Patrick said.

“Marcy was teaching me how to make cookies,” David grinned into Patrick’s chest.

And Patrick’s heart swelled at the thought. “My folks were there? At our house?”

“For the holidays,” David told him. “We were making Christmas cookies.”

“That sounds nice.”

“It’s always nice at our house. It’s a nice place.” David told him. “Now please. Be quiet. I want my dream back.”

Patrick wrapped his arms around David and held him. David’s face pressed to Patrick’s chest.

 _I’ll give you your dream._ Patrick thought. _You’ll have it. I promise._

++++++

They sat at the kitchen table. Marcy brought out a stack of photo albums. Five in all.

David tilted his head. One eye squinted as he said, “That’s a lot of pictures.”

“Oh, they’re not all of Patrick. They’re of the whole family. I won’t make you look through all of them,” She assured him.

“Oh,” David said as he eyed the stack.

“But for the record, there are more albums. Many, many more. These are just the start.” She laughed.

David had simply asked her if he could see a few pictures of Patrick as a child. He’d also asked to see some photos of her mother. The woman responsible for making David’s favorite blanket.

Marcy opened up a photo album and flipped to the first page. “This is his first sonogram…”

“Oh, m’god.” David said. “You really saved everything.”

“These are just photos and a few mementos. If you want real, tangibles I have Rubbermaid containers upstairs. We can go through those if you want.” She took in the look that David gave her. She laughed. “David. I’m teasing you. I won’t make you look through all of Patrick’s things.”

“M’Kay,” he said quietly and nodded.

“Not on this trip, anyway,” She added with a laugh.

David’s eyes traveled over the page in front of him. “Sss… are those Van Halen tickets?” He asked pointing at the pair of tickets stuck to the page.

She nodded and blushed. Blushed like Patrick blushes. “It’s a long story,” She said through a shy smile.

He leaned forward. Elbow on the table. “I think I’m going to need another cup of coffee because I’m going to want to hear it.”

++++++

She flipped a few pages into the first album. “This was my mom,” Marcy ran a finger lovingly along the photo of her mother holding an infant Patrick.

“Marcy,” David said earnestly, his hand moved to hold hers. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet her.”

Marcy blinked in surprise at David’s words and at his touch. Her eyes stung with tears as she looked into his. “You are? You know about her?”

“She made the blanket. It’s… it’s so cozy and warm and I use it all the time. Sometimes when I wrap up in it to take a nap… I think about her making it. I’ve thought a lot about her and had hoped to meet her. I didn’t know she’d passed. Patrick just told me on our ride up here.”

“David…” Marcy paused. Looked down and wiped a tear away from her eye. “Let me tell you a story about something my mother did for Patrick when he was three years old.”

++++++

The two sat down on the hay bales after having mucked the last of the stalls. Patrick opened his bottle of water and chugged half of it.

“So, what did you boys decide on the Body Milk situation?” His dad asked him. On a phone call earlier in the week, he’d talked through with his dad what he and David planned to do. The two of them talked through the idea of a solid offer for a price for the recipe.

“We have a little more to talk about, not sure that it’s finalized, but I think maybe it will be fine. They are interested in selling it, but want to have the rights to be our main maker if demand goes low, which seems fair. Amy wants to have some creative say, she wants to be part of any development of new fragrance lines. David likes that, he trusts her instincts since she was the one who came up with the fragrances that he likes best.” Patrick filled his dad in on what he knew.

“Books look good. I’m proud of you, Son. Proud of both of you. It’s a solid business. Seems like online sales are going to be where your profit comes from.” Clint drank his water. He was glad that Patrick was home. He liked when they sat and talked – just the two of them; he always had, ever since Patrick was a boy. But he absolutely loved talking business with his grown son.

“Yup,” Patrick nodded.

“What’s the long-term goal look like?” Clint asked him.

“I think keep on. I think expanding online to include more goat-milk product is going to be good. If we can expand what is offered online, I think we’re going to be good.” Patrick said.

“The two of you going to be able to keep up with the work?” He asked.

“I think we’re going to have to hire someone to help out. Right now, Alexis pitches in when we need her. But with her business growing, I would guess that we’re going to have to look elsewhere.” Patrick told him.

“Hiring a staff person is a commitment. You’re going to need to be sure you can withstand it long-term,” Clint said knowingly. “It’s the only way to be fair to them.”

“It’s what has kept us from doing it so far. I want to get us into our second year. Have a full year of data before we make that decision. Right now, we’ve got it… the two of us. Traffic in the store can be slow, but the work in boxing up the online orders keeps us pretty busy.” Patrick said.

“What about you two? What’s long-term look like for you? Your relationship?” Clint asked him, directly. Their man-to-man talks in the barn always direct.

“I’m going to marry him dad.” Patrick said.

Clint raised his eyebrows and turned to look at his son. “Are you engaged?”

“Not yet. I’m going to ask him.” Patrick said through a smile.

“Oh yeah?”

“Been wantin’ to do it for a while. Felt like I needed to come out to you and Mom first.” Patrick nodded. “Nothin’ stoppin’ me now.”

“That’s a pretty big deal.” Clint told him.

“I can’t… I need him, Dad. I can’t keep sending him home at the end of the day. I need our lives to be joined.” Patrick spread the fingers on his hands and pushed his hands together. Wove his fingers together. “We’re stronger together, Dad.”

“I can see that,” Clint said.

“It’s not like with Rachel, Dad. This is… I feel complete. Settled, when he’s with me. When he’s not… I just … I need him with me.” Patrick said. “I’m not explaining it right.”

“You’re explaining it perfectly, Son. I know exactly what you mean. And I see it. When the two of you are together. I see it. When you talk about him. I see it. I’m happy for you, Paddy. I’m so glad you found him.” Clint told his son. He reached over and patted his back.

“Dad…I’m not sure I ever thanked you.” Patrick turned to look at him. “Thank you. My god, Dad, thank you. I can imagine it was hard for you to tell me what you did when Rachel and I got engaged. If you hadn’t… I’m not sure I would have had the strength to leave.”

A wave of emotion washed over Clint. The fear and regret that he’d held for nearly a year released after one sentence from his son. Absolution. He coughed to cover up the sound that threatened to escape his throat. His eyes stung with unshed tears.

He nodded. Silent while he collected himself.

“I appreciate knowing that, Patrick. I worried… quite a bit… about whether or not it was the right thing to do. I worried… when you were gone and we didn’t see you. Worried you were holding in some anger at me.”

“I might have been a little mad at first. But, it was the right thing to do, Dad. I’m sorry I was gone for so long. I wasn’t gone because I was angry. I was finding who I am. And I’ve been so happy there. With him. His family. The whole community, really.” Patrick nodded. “I can see us living there… being happy there… forever.”

“I’m glad about that. Happy for you,” Clint nodded. A little sad that he was hearing that his son would likely never move back to his home community.

“Dad?” Patrick turned to him. “You really see a difference? Between the two relationships?”

“Night and Day.” Clint nodded.

“Can… can you tell me? After last night, I just… I need to hear it.” Patrick told him.

“Rachel is a good person,” Clint told him. “I want you to know what I have to say doesn’t mean she’s not. It just means… your mom and I… We just saw some things.”

“Tell me?” Patrick asked.

“You were passive with Rachel, Patrick.” Clint said. “You were attentive to her. Kind and loving. But it seemed as though every decision you made was based on whether or not it would make her happy.”

“Dad, I do that with David.” Patrick said, a bit of anxiety rising in his chest.

“Take it easy. Let me finish,” Clint said.

Patrick nodded.

“No matter how it made you feel, you made decisions on what would satisfy her. That’s not to say she made you do that. You did it willingly. There wasn’t a lot she did to make you happy. You never seemed really happy to me.” Clint told him.

“She was my friend. We enjoyed each other’s company.” Patrick began to get defensive.

“That’s a friendship, son. Not the makings of a marriage.” Clint reminded him.

“You’re right,” Patrick nodded.”

“Seeing you with David? It’s different. You do a lot to make sure he’s content. But, Son, what that man has done for you? Just your birthday weekend alone… he worked so hard to…”

“I know, Dad.”

“Last night,” Clint said. “When you both worked through that whole conversation?”

Patrick’s eyes locked with his dad’s.

“You both called each other on your shit. You both… supported each other… loved each other through it. Patrick, that kind of thing doesn’t just happen in a relationship. Especially one as young as yours. You have something very special with him. After what I heard last night? You’re ready. Ready for marriage.”

“Well,” Patrick huffed out a little laugh. “I know I’m ready. I just don’t know…”

His dad cut him off. “When I say _you’re_ ready… I mean you both are. David’s ready.”

Patrick shook his head. “How… how do… how do you know that.”

“You have to listen to his cue’s son. He told you what can’t happen. Told you he wants to know it all… the good and the bad… you can’t hold it from him. If he wasn’t all in, he wouldn’t care. Look for his cue’s son. What he says… what he does… They will tell you if he’s ready.”

Patrick nodded. “OK. OK.”

They sat in silence for a long while. The way they do. Both lost in their thoughts. Patrick thought about the four gold rings tucked into the sports equipment box in the back of his closet. Clint thought about his young son who used to hide behind the stacks of hay when the kids played hide-n-seek. 

“You’ve always been straightforward with me, Dad.” Patrick said; breaking the silence.

“Tried to be,” Clint said.

“You gonna be OK if I marry a man? Happy for me if I marry David?” Patrick asked him.

Clint shook his head, “Son. I don’t care if you marry a man. So long as…” 

“Dad.” Patrick cut him off. “I don’t want you to not care. And I know that… no matter what… you’ll support me. I just… I want to know how you feel about it. I want to know if you’re going to… celebrate it. You know… in your heart.”

“I’m sorry, Paddy. That was a poor chose of words on my part.” Clint leaned toward him. “I should choose my words better. The gender of the person that you choose to spend your life with doesn’t have a bearing on how I feel. What I can tell you is that when I see you and David? I’m so pleased. I see love and respect. I see compatibility. And I see a man who makes you happier than I’ve ever seen you. So, of course… Son…. Of course, I am going to celebrate a marriage between the two of you.”

Patrick’s face reacted as his dad spoke. He blinked his eyes at the words. His mouth moved slowly into a smile. He nodded his head. He looked down at his hands, the fingers of his right hand pressing into the flesh of his left hand.

“What if…” Patrick paused. “Dad, what if we had babies?” He looked up at his dad, expectantly.

Without hesitating, Clint told him, “You will be an amazing father and it would be my honor to support you as you did so.”

Patrick exhaled loudly. He nodded.

They were quiet for a moment.

Then Clint asked hesitantly, “David wants kids?”

“Oh, hell no,” Patrick laughed.

Clint chuckled.

“I just wondered where you stood. You know, just in case I accidentally get him pregnant while we’re staying together in the guest room.” Patrick chuckled. Lowered his head. Looked down at the floor. Kicked at the loose hay under his foot.

Clint laughed.

“When will you propose?” Clint asked his son.

“Soon.” Patrick nodded. “Soon.”

++++++

When they walked into the kitchen, they saw the stacks of photo albums on the kitchen table. Several open. But neither Marcy nor David was anywhere in sight.

Patrick looked at his dad.

Clint shrugged.

They both walked through the kitchen and into the living room. There they found a few scrapbooks on the coffee table. Books that contained programs from Patrick’s school performances, ribbons that he’d won, photos of projects he completed for school.

They saw a stack of VHS tapes on the floor in front of the television.

But neither Marcy nor David was anywhere in sight.

Patrick moved to the stairs.

Clint followed them.

As they stepped into the hallway at the top of the stairs, they heard the two talking. Patrick followed the voices to his bedroom.

“What are you two doing?” Patrick asked from the doorway.

His dad stood behind him; looked over his shoulder at the mess spread across the floor of Patrick’s boyhood bedroom.

David, whose back was to the door, looked over his shoulder at Patrick, “Learning a little about your past.”

“Oh yea?” Patrick moved further into the room.  
  
Marcy, who sat on the floor beside David, a Rubbermaid container in front of them, held a worn-out stuffed animal in her hand.

When Patrick spotted it, he said, ‘Mr. Turtle!” And took a step toward her before he stopped and looked at David.  
  
“Oh my god.” Patrick said. “I forgot about him. I forgot until just now. He was a turtle!” Patrick’s voice was inexplicably excited.

David pulled his mouth to the side in a very satisfied little smile. “Your mom was just telling me the story.” He looked up at Patrick.

Clint watched the two of them share a wordless exchange.

“Hey, Marse,” Clint got her attention. Jerked his head toward the door. “Can you help me with something downstairs?”

“Sure,” She held her hands up to Patrick who reached down to help her stand. She handed his childhood stuffed animal to him and followed her husband out of the room.

Patrick sat down on the side of the bed; the little, worn-out stuffed turtle in his hand. He looked at David. “I had forgotten.”

“How do you forget the stuffed animal you slept with as a child?” David asked him.

“No. I mean, I remember him. I just… forgot about him. I haven’t seen him in years.”

“Patrick…” David paused. Moved to sit beside him on his bed. “Don’t you think… I mean…” David reached for the stuffed animal. Held it in his hands. “Don’t you think that’s interesting?”

Patrick looked over at the Rubbermaid container. Looked at the stacks of things Marcy kept. He looked at David, “I wonder how many things in my life pointed me to you.”

“All of them.” David said as he reached for Patrick. “All of them pointed you to me.”

++++++

They ate dinner together in the kitchen. The air was thick with tension. Rachel was scheduled to stop by after they ate. Patrick and she had texted earlier in the day and he had insisted they talk, by phone or in person. She said she’d come by.

Marcy had already planned a lasagna meal. Patrick’s favorite.

He wasn’t hungry. He pushed the food around his plate.

Clint chatted with David about the plans to purchase the rights to the Body Milk. The one thing he knew that he and David could speak on without anything weighing on Patrick.

Marcy held her tongue. But she was angry. Angry that, in her mind, Rachel was taking up a second night of her son’s time at home. She tried to move past it, but she was frustrated.

Before they were done with their meal, there was a knock at the front door.

As though on cue, all four forks were set down on the table.

David took a drink of his water and stood. “Clint, I’d really like to go look at some animals.”

“Let’s go,” Clint stood and led the way, through the back door, out of the house. David followed closely behind him.

Marcy left the kitchen to answer the front door. Ready to give Rachel a piece of her mind.

When she opened the door and looked into her face, her heart melted. She knew her. Knew her the way one knows someone who practically grows up in their presence. She saw the pain on her face. Took in the slump of her shoulders.

“Hi Marcy,” She said.

“Hi, Honey,” Marcy greeted her softly. “Come in.” She stood back and made space for Rachel to enter. “He’s in the kitchen.”

“David?” Rachel asked quietly.

“He’s in the barn with Clint.”

“Doesn’t want to see me, I’m guessing.” Rachel said.

“Have a seat, Rachel. I’ll get Patrick.” Marcy motioned toward the couch as she went to go get her son.

Marcy walked past her son without speaking. She knew if she did, she’d ask to stay. Knew if she didn’t leave, she’d want to be involved. Knew that absolutely none of it was her business. She grabbed her jacket that hung by the back door and left the house.

++++++

They sat in the barn together, the three of them.

Clint had, when they first went out, busied himself filling water dishes, fussing with the latch on one of the stalls. But there were no chores to do. Patrick and he had literally taken care of everything throughout the weekend.

Marcy sat, her legs crossed under herself, just outside of the stall that held the sow and her piglets. She held one of the piglets in her lap. Scratched its belly. Behind its ear.

David sat, quietly, on the stack of hay bales. He checked the store’s social media accounts. Posted the highlighted product for the following week. Responded to some of the questions posted. Checked who had posted about the store and reposted them in the Apothecary’s Insta-story.

He wasn’t sure how long they’d been out there. Was it fifteen minutes? Was it half an hour? If you’d have asked, he wouldn’t have been able to say. Because it felt like an eternity.

A feeling suddenly washed over him.

He stood. “I have to go. I have to go up there.” He said to Patrick’s parents.

Clint and Marcy shared a look. “Why?” Clint asked him.

“Because this isn’t just about Patrick,” David said as he turned and left the barn without waiting for them to respond.

Clint moved to the doorway and watched David’s shadowy figure as he awkwardly ran across the damp grass of the yard and marched up the stairs of the back porch.  
  
He felt Marcy’s hand slide around his waist as she joined him in watching their future son-in-law head inside to support their son.

++++++

David opened the back door and entered the kitchen ready to fight. Well… to argue… or… whatever.

He was surprised to find Patrick, alone. Standing at the sink. Washing dishes.

Patrick turned when he heard the door open. Saw David. Smiled.

“Hi,” he said in that breathy, happy greeting he gives David when they’ve been apart for a while.

David, breathless from running from the barn to the house looked around the room for Rachel. “Hi?” He said to Patrick.

“Whatcha doin’?” Patrick asked.

“Um.” David closed the back door. Took a step toward Patrick. Asked, “What are _you_ doing?”

“Washing dishes so Mom doesn’t have to. Want to help?” He tossed a hand towel to David.

“Where’s Rachel?” David asked.

“She left.” Patrick rinsed a plate.

“When?” David asked.

“A while ago.” Patrick handed a dripping wet plate to David.

David took the plate and dried it. Opened the cupboard door. Put the plate where it belonged in the cabinet.

“She wasn’t here very long,” Patrick said. “Sorry I didn’t go down to get you guys… I needed a minute.”

“Are you… Do you want to be alone?” David asked him.

“I’ve had the minute I needed. I’m glad you’re here.” Patrick handed him another plate.

“I came up to help… or… support.” David said. “I thought she was still here.” He dried the plate. Put it on the stack in the cupboard.

Patrick nodded, “Thanks. I’m glad you wanted to do that.”

Patrick rinsed the silverware he’d been washing. Set it in the dish drainer. Leaned his side against the sink. “Want to hear about it now or later?”

David nodded. Set the towel on the counter. “Now. Please. And… don’t make me draw it out. Tell me everything.”

He moved to sit down at the table. Looked expectantly at Patrick.

Patrick pulled two beers from the refrigerator. Opened them both. Handed one to David. Joined him at the table.

And he began to talk.

He told him that before he could get a word out, Rachel apologized for being out of line. Not just for asking Patrick to come back, but for basically accusing him of cheating on her when they were together.

She had been working through a lot of feelings as time passed after their break up. She felt like she’d been with Zach as a way to fill a void she felt in Patrick’s absence. And, lately, she’d felt discontented in her relationship with Zach.

David interrupted, “This sounds like a bunch of excuses to me.”

“I agree,” Patrick said. “But I let her say it all. Let her get it out.”

David nodded. Waited.

“I let her say all she needed to so that I could say what I needed to.” Patrick told him.

“Which was?” David asked.

“That it all needs to stop.” Patrick told him. He shook his head, “That we aren’t friends. We used to be in a relationship and we are no longer in that relationship. That we used to be engaged, but we are no longer engaged. And that chatting… whether that be on text, or phone… or in person… is not what is best for either of us.”

“Oh,” David made the sound of surprise. It certainly wasn’t what he had expected to hear from Patrick.

Patrick continued, “I told her that whether or not she needed a boundary, I did. I could have made it about her, David. And it is, really. She needs to move on. But I know her well enough that if I made it about her, she wouldn’t do it. So, I told her that my relationship with you is the most important thing in my life. I told her that I didn’t need to wonder if Rachel was going to do what she did last night. _You_ … didn’t need the worry of knowing that one of my friends was pining for me.”

“I don’t.” David shook his head, “I don’t need that worry. Thank you.”

“I told her that it wasn’t like I never wanted to see her again. OR that I wouldn’t talk with her again. If I see her… I see her. You know?” Patrick said.

David nodded. His eyes traveled over Patrick’s face. Patrick didn’t seem emotional. He seemed fine. Normal. Himself.

“I told her that if I have a memory… something triggers a memory of her… I won’t be texting her about it, like I have done over the past months. I will just think a good thought for her and then move on. And I asked her to do the same.” Patrick nodded. Took a swig of his beer.

“What did she say to that?” David asked.

“She said she’d try,” Patrick told him.

David nodded. “What about Zach?”

“I’m betting that they break up soon. As I understand it, she got some good sex with him but didn’t enjoy his company. She deserves better.”

“She can do better. She will,” David nodded. “But I meant what about you and Zach?”

Patrick shrugged. “I realized a long time ago, when we were in college maybe, that he always saw me as competition. From the time we were in grade school. He was near me because I drove him. Gave him a sense of purpose.” Patrick took a swig of his beer. “Keeping him on track. Giving him something to strive for. That’s not my job.”

“No,” David’s voice was quiet. He shook his head.

“You were right, David. They were my friends when I was in high school. They’re not my friends now. There are a couple of them that were there last night that I could see myself wanting to sit and talk with again. You know who they are. The ones who sat with you and asked about you. Our business. But the rest of them? They were there because they knew me then.”

David reached a hand out to him. Patrick took it. Their fingers intertwined as their hands rested on the table.

“I’m so proud of you, Patrick.” David said. “How do you feel?”

Patrick took a deep breath. Exhaled. “I feel like I made a move tonight to protect our relationship. So… I’m satisfied. I’m good.”

David lowered his eyes. Looked at their hands. Nodded.

The back door opened a few inches. “Boys?” Marcy peered into the kitchen.

“Come on in, Mom. We’ve finished cleaning up and we’re ready for a game of cards.” Patrick squeezed David’s hand and let go.

++++++

Early in the morning, before the sun began to peek into the day, Patrick and Clint carried the suitcases out to the car. Clint carried with him a cooler packed with food that Marcy had prepared for them to take home to put in Patrick’s freezer. With the show coming up they would, most certainly, need food to reheat during the week, she had told them. Even though she and Clint would be making the trip down to Schitt’s Creek later in the week, she wanted him to have the food.

“You know you don’t have to come down,” Patrick had told her the previous night while they played cards. “You were just there last week.”

“Patrick, I have never once missed a production of yours and I will not start now.” Marcy told him.

Patrick was secretly thrilled that his parents would be back down to Schitt’s Creek. He hoped that he would see a lot more of them than he had over the past year.

Marcy handed David the large paper bag. “Here’s what you asked for.” She told him. “Does it look like what you want?”

David peered into the bag. Stuck his hand in to check it out. “Oh! This is wonderful. Thank you.”

Marcy hugged him. Held him tightly. “We loved having you here, David.”

“I loved being here, Marcy. Thank you.” He hugged her just as tightly.

With goodbyes said. Hugs. Kisses. And waves. They were on their way. Driving through the town and on their way to the highway.

David reached into the back seat and pulled a quilt from the paper bag that Marcy had given him. He draped it over his legs. Leaned his seat back. Grabbed a pillow from the back seat and adjusted it under his head as he turned toward Patrick and snuggled in.

“What’s that?” Patrick asked. His hand running over the quilt that covered David.

“Your mom gave it to me.” David said.

“Why?”

David moved again. Fluffed his pillow. “I asked her for one that she made. She has several, you know. In the closet in the guest room.”

“That’s nice.” Patrick said. “But why did you want one?”

“I love Grandma’s quilt. You know I do. It’s my favorite thing.” David said.

“I know.” Patrick said. That’s why he was surprised that David wanted something different.

David thought about his words before he spoke. “I just…at least for a while… I want something that only you and I have used. Something newer. Something from your mom.”

“But this one… it’s not as worn. Not as soft.” Patrick stated he obvious.

“It will be,” David smiled up at him. “With time.”

David shut his eyes. Draped an arm over the console between their seats. His hand rested gently on Patrick’s thigh.

Patrick drove in silence for only a moment before he [turned on the song](https://youtu.be/PZ59spYH9mk). The song that he listened to as he drove home after he realized he was attracted to David.

_We were borne before the wind  
Also younger than the sun  
Ere the bonnie boat was won  
As we sailed into the mystic_

_Hark, now hear the sailors cry  
Smell the sea and feel the sky  
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic_

_And when that foghorn blows  
I will be coming home  
And when the foghorn blows  
I want to hear it_

_I don't have to fear it and I want to rock your gypsy soul  
Just like way back in the days of old  
And magnificently we will flow into the mystic_

_When that fog horn blows  
You know I will be coming home  
And when that fog horn whistle blows  
I got to hear it_

_I don't have to fear it and I want to rock your gypsy soul  
Just like way back in the days of old  
And together we will flow into the mystic  
Come on, girl_

_Too late to stop now_

As the sun rose over them, while David slept, Patrick popped a sucker in his mouth and drove home.

To Schitt’s Creek.

To his future with David.

+++

End Part 3 of 3

+++


	37. Kiss Me: Patrick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day and night that David and Patrick return from the weekend they spend with Patrick's parents.  
> (Patrick’s Perspective)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place between 5.12 and 5.13. 
> 
> +++
> 
> ****SPOILER ALERT****  
> If you do not want any spoilers and you are not concerned about being triggered by anything I write, please skip the Trigger Warnings and wait to read the author's notes until after you've read the chapter.  
> **** END SPOILER ALERT***
> 
> +++
> 
> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> Use of language that some may see as infantilizing and/or incestuous (daddy). If the use of infantilizing/incestuous words in the context of consensual sexual encounters between two adults is disturbing to you, or you believe it will trigger you, please skip this chapter.  
> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> If sex without protection (In the context of a loving, consensual, committed and monogamous relationship between two HIV-negative adult men), is a trigger for you, please do not read this chapter.  
> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> If emotional release in the form of tears is a trigger for you, please do not read this chapter.  
> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> If sleeping in the wet spot is a trigger for you (*Winking face emoji*), please do not read this chapter.  
> ****END WARNINGS****
> 
> +++
> 
> Merry Christmas, Friends. 
> 
> Posting this special chapter on this day for those of you who don't have plans. For those who aren't able to be with family or friends. (For those of you who are able to be with others, this chapter will wait for a quiet time later in the week). 
> 
> Please know you aren't alone. If you need a friend, you can reach me on Twitter if you'd like: @PandorasDaydrm. I don't have major plans and will be happy to communicate with you so you don't feel alone. 
> 
> I hope you are safe, well, and happy. 
> 
> -PD
> 
> +++

++++++

On their way back into town, they stopped quickly at the motel to drop off David’s suitcase. Then swung by Patrick’s apartment to drop of Patrick’s suitcase, deliver the blankets, and put the food Marcy sent in the freezer.

Though David begged to take a nap, Patrick reminded him that he slept for two hours on the road and Alexis was working the store. They needed to go relieve her of her duties. They had promised they’d be there by noon and it was nearly that time.

David disagreed that he was pouting as they descended the stairs and he followed Patrick to his car.

++++++

Patrick was immediately pleased.

David, on the other hand, walked through the store eyeing every product and its position on the tables and shelves. Patrick could tell that David was skeptical. He opened a few lip balms, and body butters. Eyed them and then shot looks at Alexis.

Patrick examined the receipts from Friday and Saturday. “Wow, Alexis. You were really busy on Saturday. This is great. Thank you.”

David stood in the corner and looked over the alpaca throws. Counted what was on the shelf. “You sold three of these?” He said over his shoulder.

She didn’t take her eyes off Patrick, but she answered David and a nod, “Yes. Mmhmm.”

Patrick ducked back into the office. Calculated what her pay should be. Removed the cost of fixing the sink.

And then he added a bonus back into it. Because… well… he’s Patrick.

He folded the check and took it out to her.  
  
“Here you go, Alexis. Thank you.” He handed her the check.

Before she tucked it into her purse, she snuck a glance. Then tried to hand it back to him. “You didn’t take out the cost of fixing the sink.”

David, refolding the sweaters that did not need refolding, watched the exchange from across the store. He eyed first Alexis, then Patrick, then Alexis. Then Patrick.

Patrick held up a hand to her, “No. No. I did.”

“Then, your math is wrong.” She told him.

Patrick quickly glanced at David. Noticed the look David gave him. Furrowed brow and a tilt of his head. Patrick knew that David was understanding that Patrick was paying her more than the agreed-upon amount.

“Math’s not wrong Alexis.” He said loudly with a chuckle.

Then he opened his arms and drew her into a hug and said quietly in her ear “Just take it.”

++++++

“Please take my car.” Patrick asked him as he printed off the online orders that had been made over the weekend.

David had rescheduled his Monday morning therapy appointment for the end of the day and needed to leave. He was going to walk back to the motel and take the Rose family vehicle. Patrick didn’t like when David drove it; he worried that the car would, at some point, become unreliable.

“What about the post office run?” David asked. Waving a hand over the boxes that were set up around the register while Patrick gathered the items to pack.

“Won’t have time. I’m going to run the deposit by the bank on my way to rehearsal. I can take the boxes to the post office in the morning.”

“Don’t you want the car to get you to rehearsal?” David asked him. Knowing full well he didn’t.

“David, it’s four blocks away.” Patrick told him.

“M’Kay. How late is rehearsal?” David asked him.

“Late. Maybe after 10 or 11? We’re running the whole thing start to finish for the first time tonight. Production this weekend. It’s going to be a lot.” Patrick said. “You spending the night tonight?"

“I thought I better be at the motel. Not sure what Mom will be like. She’ll likely be stressed. I’m guessing with Ted leaving at the end of the week, Alexis will be staying with him all week.” David said.

“You have your key to the car?” Patrick asked. Long ago, he’d given David his own key to Patrick’s car so they didn’t have to keep passing back and forth Patrick’s keys.

David patted his pocket, “Yup.”

Patrick paused the packing he was working on. Moved to David who stood near the door. “Somethin’ wrong?”

“Not a thing,” David shook his head. Smiled. “I had a good weekend. I’m sad it’s over.”

Patrick’s eyes softened. He pressed his lips together in a satisfied smile. “It _was_ really good,” Patrick said.

They kissed. A soft, loving kiss.

The door opened. The bell jangled. “Christ. Get a fuckin’ room,” Darlene’s cousin said as she barged into the store.

David pulled his head back. Rolled his eyes.

“Go. Go. Go.” Patrick said quietly as he patted David’s back. “See you tomorrow.”

++++++

When he returned home from rehearsal, he didn’t bother turning on the lights of the apartment. Walked straight to the bathroom and stripped. Tossed his sweaty clothes into the corner. Stepped into the shower.

He stood under the hot water. Turned his back so it beat down on him. He reached up and turned the nozzle so the blast would be harsher. Hit him in that spot on his upper back.

It was a good rehearsal. But his body was tired. He wasn’t a dancer. And some of those moves just exhausted him.

He was feeling good about the show. They had the dance moves down. They were finally completely off-book and the only thing he had yet to do was learn what his hair and make-up would look like. He was told that David would be working with the make-up crew to figure out the final touches.

He stood in the shower until the water began to run cool. As he dried himself off, he thought about David. Thought, again, about the rings. Felt like the time was right. He decided he was going to ask him soon.

As he had over the past few months, he tried to picture what he wanted to do. He’d decided that he wanted it to be simple. No bells. No whistles. Just the two of them somewhere quiet.  
  
The more he pictured it, the more he wanted to take David up there. The place where he’s gone so many times to think. But there was no way he’d get him to go on a hike. Literally _no way_ he could say, “Hey, David. Will you go on a hike with me?” and have David respond willingly.

He wrapped the towel around his waist. Wiped his hand over the mirror so he could see his reflection. He reached into the medicine cabinet to get the little jar of moisturizer that David had insisted he start using.

He thought about that conversation. Patrick, feigning insult, enjoyed David cuddling up to him and lightly touching Patrick’s face with his fingertips, “Right now? Your face is perfect, and we want to keep it that way for as long as possible.” Of course, Patrick started using the lotion.

_Food._

He needed food to be involved. Maybe he could call it a picnic and not tell David it was a hike. If there was food, David wouldn’t even question it. If there was food, David would follow him on a walk. Yes, he’d call it a walk. Not a hike.

They’d take a _walk_ to get to a _picnic_.

He squeezed a bit of toothpaste out on his brush and smiled to himself.

As he began to brush his teeth, he thought about the conversation they had about the toothpaste. Patrick had teased David about not using the product they sold at the store. David rolled his eyes as he unpacked the bag from the drugstore, “Listen, I’m not saying that our natural toothpaste is a bad product. I’m saying it looks like grey sludge and tastes like dirt. It grosses me out to use it and I don’t want to be kissing on you if you taste like it. So, you will use this factory-made toothpaste and that’s the last I want to hear about it.” Of course, Patrick used the toothpaste from the drug store.

_When?_

He kind of wanted to do it before the production.

 _Can I do that?_ He thought to himself. _I don’t want to wait. I can’t wait any longer._

He turned around and leaned back against the sink while he brushed. Thought about it happening on just a regular day of the week. Just… like Thursday. Take him for a lunchtime picnic. David liked a grand gesture, but he really liked them when they were unexpected.

_Not a date night._

He turned. Spit into the sink rinsed his mouth. Cupped his hands to fill with water. Drank it down.

 _Yes._ He thought to himself as he shut out the bathroom light. Opened the bathroom door. _Yes. I’ll ask him for a picnic for Thursday. And I’ll take him… on a walk… up there. I’ll propose, and then…_

In one split second, it happened. He heard a noise and saw movement near the couch. Someone was there. A few feet from him.

“What the hell?” His voice was loud as he turned and charged toward the figure.

He heard David scream, “Patrick. It’s me! It’s me!”

David ran away from him and ducked down, as though he were ready to make himself into a ball under the table if he had to.

Patrick stopped. Grabbed the towel that had loosened and threatened to fall from his waist. “David? What are you doing?”

David stood up straight. Tugged on the hem of his sweatshirt. “I just… I want to…” David worked to catch his breath. He sat down at the table. “I needed to talk to you.”

Patrick stood near the table. Hands on his waist. His eyes shifted. Looked around the dark room. “OK.”

“Sorry I startled you,” David told him.

“It’s OK.” Patrick moved to turn on the lights. “Why didn’t you turn on the…”

“No. Leave them off?” David requested.

There was a faint glow from the streetlight which, coupled with the nearly full moon outside, faintly illuminated the apartment. A golden light glowed across David’s face.

“K,” Patrick said. He moved to stand near David. Hands on his waist.

Patrick waited.

David lowered his head. His hands in his lap.

“David?” Patrick moved the other chair so it was closer to David. He sat down. Faced him. “You’re scaring me.”

David raised his chin. Looked at Patrick.

His eyes had difficulty landing on Patrick. They moved around Patrick’s face, and off to the side, then back to Patrick.

“David.” Patrick placed one hand on each of David’s shoulders. He didn’t exactly shake him. “Did something bad happen?”

“No. No. I’m sorry.” David shook his head. His voice soft and breathy.

“What do you need to talk about?” Patrick’s stomach did a flip flop. Worried about what David had to say.

David placed his hand on the table. He had been grasping his phone in his hand. He loosened his grip and set the phone on the table. His attention on his phone. He opened it and scrolled through it.

Patrick watched him.

“Did someone call… or text you?” Patrick asked him. Worried that someone… _god_ someone like Sebastien… called him.

David shook his head. “No.” He whispered.

“Did… something happen at therapy today?” Patrick asked with furrowed brow. Worried. So worried.

“No,” David said, then added, “Yeah… maybe. Yes.”

 _No sudden movements._ Patrick told himself. _Give him time to collect his thoughts._

Patrick sat back in his chair. Folded his hands in his lap.

Waited.

“I know I wasn’t supposed to be here tonight,” David said. “I just…”

“It’s fine. I’m glad you’re here.” Patrick’s hand squeezed David’s knee.

“I need something from you.” David looked at him.

“OK? Whatever you need.” Patrick agreed without hearing any of David’s request. He didn’t need to know what David needed before he agreed to it. He’d do anything for David. Whatever David wanted. _Always_.

David touched the screen on his phone.[ A song began to play](https://youtu.be/K-rboatMpXc). 

As the breathy sounds of the counting down began, Patrick looked at the phone and then at David.

“I’m going to need you to learn this song. Play it for me.” David’s voice was quiet. He looked at Patrick as he pointed at his phone.

Patrick nodded. Listened for a moment.

He breathed in quickly. Then said, “OK.” He stood and pointed with his thumb over his shoulder and seriously asked, “You mean now?”

David looked up at him and let out a little laugh on his exhale, “No. I don’t mean now.” He stood. Took a step toward him so he was directly in front of Patrick. His eyes moved quickly from Patrick’s eyes to his mouth and back to his eyes. “But soon. I want to hear your voice sing these words… to me.”

“You got it. Sure.” Patrick said with zero hesitation.

“Did… um… did you ever sing it to her?” David asked.

Patrick shook his head, “No.”

“Do you know the song?” David asked him.

“Yeah. I’ve heard it. It’s been a while,” Patrick’s hands were settled on his waist as he looked up at David. “I can learn it. I’ll play it for you.”

“Thank you,” a slight smile crossed David’s face.

Patrick waited. Confused. Couldn’t figure out why David would come to the apartment to ask that question. At that time of night.

He shrugged. “Is… is that… David, is that why you came here? It’s midnight.”

“No,” David whispered. His hands moved to Patrick’s bare shoulders. His fingertips lightly squeezed each of Patrick’s shoulders. His eyes moved from Patrick’s shoulders. To his eyes. To his mouth.

Patrick knew when David coyly touched him in that way that he was feeling something he was afraid to say.

Patrick waited. Could see there was something weighing on him.

He wanted to reassure him that he was safe. So, Patrick settled his hands on David’s waist. Touched him gently. Slowly. _No sudden movements._

“David…”

“Dance with me?” David asked him.

Patrick tilted his head to the side. “Want me to get dressed?” He asked.

David shook his head, raised an eyebrow, and whispered, “No.”

His dick under the damp towel twitched.

 _Oh. OK._ Patrick thought. _He doesn’t want to be alone tonight._

Patrick adjusted the towel; tucked it in tighter. Returned his hands to David’s waist. Moved closer to him, into David’s embrace.

Patrick was barefoot. David wore his Ugg boots. So, Patrick was even shorter against David than he typically would be.

As David pulled him in, as Patrick’s bare chest pressed against the softness of David’s sweatshirt, he lowered his head. Rested it against David’s shoulder. Pressed his forehead to the curve of David’s neck. Felt one of David’s hands cradle the back of his head. Pet him the way David sometimes does. David’s other hand pressed to his back between his shoulders and moved in small circles.

He could tell by his movements that David wanted soothed, so he moved to touch David. Patrick’s left hand moved under the back of David’s shirt. Touched the warm skin of David’s lower back. His fingertips brushed lightly over the skin there. His right hand moved up David’s back, outside of his shirt, and hooked over David’s shoulder. Patrick held him tightly.

They swayed to the slow groove of the song. Patrick smiled as he heard the words of the song. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t pulled the song up into his memory when he had searched for songs to sing to David. It fit them. It fit them well. He turned his face slightly and kissed David, slowly and tenderly, on his neck.

“Remember…?” David started to speak and then stopped. Cleared his throat. “Remember the first night? In the office?”

“What about it?” Patrick’s eyes were closed. He listened to David’s heartbeat under his ear. He inhaled David’s scent. He smelled of leather, which left Patrick feeling perplexed, because he wasn’t wearing his leather jacket.

David took a moment before he spoke. “You asked me to kiss you. I did. Then you asked me to…”

Patrick interrupted him and looked up at him. “Kiss me like…”

“You were in love with me then.” David said, knowingly. “That early.”

“I was,” Patrick didn’t hesitate to own it. Patrick moved his right hand. Moved it to David’s chest. Slid up his chest. Up to his cheek. His thumb brushed the stubble on David’s cheek. His eyes settled on David’s lips. “I’ve loved you from the beginning.”

David leaned into him and their lips touched. Tender. Slow.

Patrick, head tilted back, opened his mouth as David’s tongue did what it did that night. That first night that they made out in the office after work. David’s tongue taking ownership of Patrick’s mouth with one move. Delving deeply into his mouth and then sliding out. Then back in again.

Patrick wanted to take control of him. Push him against the wall. Take him. But that wasn’t what David wanted. Or… maybe he did. Patrick wasn’t sure. He was having trouble getting a read on the situation. He wanted to do whatever it was that David needed. Whatever David wanted.

He stilled. Waited for David’s cues.

Patrick felt David’s arms around him tighten. They stopped swaying. Stopped dancing.

Patrick’s hand moved to hold David’s head from the nape of his neck. Encouraged him to continue the slow possession. His hand that was on David’s back splayed against David’s skin. Moved further up his back. Pressing him closer. Closer.

Patrick always loved being taken in a kiss like that. He knew that David knew what it did to him. It always started something in Patrick. Like turning on a light switch in him.

Before long, Patrick lost a bit of his self-control. His tongue dueled with David’s for control. His tongue was in David. Slowly but surely owning David’s warm mouth. He tasted slightly of coffee and something. Cinnamon roll maybe. He’d had an evening snack. Worried about something, maybe. He came to Patrick’s to help him sleep.

Patrick pulled back. Looked up at him.

David’s hands, stilled on Patrick’s back. “It also has neck kisses. This song.” David added to what he had been telling Patrick, as though they hadn’t just shared a deep, soul-searching kiss. He was still talking about the song.

Patrick breathed out a sound. Not quite a laugh. “It does.” He looked at David. Cupped his face with his hand. His thumb rubbed gently against David’s chin.

“I like the neck kisses you give me,” David told him.

He kissed David again. There on the curve of his neck. “Sometimes it’s the easiest place to reach.” Patrick told him.

He rested his forehead, again, on the curve of David’s neck. Like he did the first time they danced. His hands moved to David’s back. Both hands under David’s sweater. One hand moving to tuck into the back waistband of David’s pants. The other hand moving on the skin in the middle of his back.

“Does it bother you? That you’re shorter than I am?” David asked him. His arms wrapping tightly around Patrick’s shoulders.

“Does it bother you that you’re taller than I am?” Patrick smiled into David’s chest. Knowing that their height didn’t matter to either of them. Then remembering that in their deep discussion over the weekend, David had chastised him for not answering the questions at hand. Not wanting David to think he was avoiding the question Patrick said, “I have always liked that I’m shorter than you. I can’t explain it. I just do.”

“Mmm.” David made only a sound. Held Patrick tightly.

“Does it bother _you_ that I’m shorter?” Patrick was trying to track where David was going with all of this.

David tilted his head. Gave Patrick more room for the kisses. “I’ve been with lots of people of different sizes. Some taller some shorter. It isn’t really something I think about.”

Patrick stopped kissing him. Took a deep breath.

“I didn’t mean…” David started to talk. Then stopped.

“It’s OK.” Patrick pulled slightly back. Stopped moving to the music.

“No. No. I didn’t… I meant… You’ve only really been with her. And she’s so petite. And you’re such a… _protector_. I just…”

“David,” Patrick looked up at him. “Are you OK?”

“Mmm. Yes. I didn’t mean to bring up everyone from before.” David’s eyes skidded off to the side. Avoided eye contact.

“It’s OK. They’re all there. I know it. You know it. They’re a part of us.” Patrick pulled him close. And he meant it. He’d come to accept that all those people in their pasts brought them together in the present.

He kissed him again. There on his neck. As they began to sway, again, to the music.

“And for the record?” Patrick tilted his head back so he could talk quietly in the direction of David’s ear. “I can protect someone who is taller than me.” And in his mind, he added, _I have and I will until my dying breath._

David exhaled. A sound near Patrick’s ear that he loved.

One of David’s hands moved down to Patrick’s ass. His hand moving back and forth over the damp towel.

Patrick realized the song had started over again. David was playing it on a loop. Patrick knew that meant he likely had been listening to it for a while. He’d let the song seep into his brain. He imagined David listening to it on his headphones while sitting on his bed drinking a coffee and eating the last of the day-old cinnamon rolls from the motel office.

“Babe. What else do you need to tell me?” He asked. Knowing there was something weighing on David.

“This weekend.” David said quietly.

They continued to sway. Patrick’s hands never stopped moving. Comforting him. Encouraging him to let it out.

“Yeah.” Patrick said quietly. Thinking about the heated discussion. Rachel. The friends. He had worried David would carry that with them. Be upset.

_Damnit. He’s worrying about it._

“It was so lovely, Patrick. It really was… I just... I really like your family… your parents.” David told him. The hand that was around Patrick’s shoulder moved to cup the back of Patrick’s head, again. He pet Patrick’s head, again.

Patrick smiled into David’s chest. “They like you, too, David.”

They continued to sway. Quietly holding one another. Hands gliding over each other.

Patrick kissed his neck again. Stretched up a bit. Kissed his jaw. That place near his ear that David liked.

He felt David’s face turn in to him. Felt David’s lips on his cheek.

He turned his head toward him. Their lips met again. He pulled David’s lower lip into his mouth. A gentle sucking on it before he licked into David’s mouth again.

In. And out. In again. David opened wider for him.

They stopped swaying. The kiss intensified. The fingers of Patrick’s left hand dug into the flesh on David’s ass. He squeezed him. Pressed David forward.

Patrick rocked his hips forward. Pressed his erection against David’s hip. Rocked his hip so he felt the pressure and then the release and then the pressure.

David pulled back. Looked down at Patrick. Pressed his forehead to Patrick’s. “Make love to me?” David asked him.

Patrick’s eyes closed. A slight smile curved his lips.

David seldom made that request; overall, David didn’t love the phrase. But it was the quiet request that, on the rare occasion when he made it, held a very specific definition for Patrick. David wanted intimacy with him. Quiet and slow with Patrick taking tender control. And he knew that David knew it was Patrick’s favorite.

“Yeah, Babe.” Patrick pulled him close. “Whatever you want.” He kissed him again, there on his neck.

“I’m ready, Patrick.” David whispered in his ear.

“OK,” Patrick nodded. He pulled back. Held on to David’s hand and started to walk toward the bed.

As Patrick took a step and David didn’t move with him, he turned back to him. Looked at him.

“David?” Patrick asked him. Searching his face for what was wrong.

David said, again, “I’m ready.”

“OK.” Patrick shrugged. Nodded toward the bed.

“Patrick.” David said on a quiet whisper.

Patrick looked at David. Furrowed his brows.

David shook his head. Closed his eyes for a brief moment before reaching his other hand to Patrick. Holding Patrick’s hand in both of his own.

His voice was barely above a whisper, “No… barriers. Just us. I’m ready.”

Patrick’s heart stopped for a brief moment. A wave of something washed over him. His breath caught in his chest.

“No condom?” He asked to be clear. Absolutely clear.

“No.” David said. “I mean… yes.”

Patrick stood stock-still. Didn’t breathe. Didn’t blink. Didn’t move a muscle.

“No condom.” Patrick clarified.

“That’s correct,” David nodded.

“Sure?” Patrick asked.

Without hesitation, David nodded, “Yes.”

Patrick had a million questions, but knew the time to ask them was not in that moment.

He knew David. They had laid the ground rules before. If David were to want it, he had to say it away from the bed. He had to be sure. He had to be clear in the request.

They were not in bed. And David could not have been clearer.

Patrick trusted him enough to know that this was what he wanted. A zing flew though his body.

_Trust. He’s ready. He trusts me._

“OK,” Patrick nodded. “You want… anything first? Drink or… bathroom… or…a sss…a snack??” Patrick felt odd. Like suddenly he needed to offer David everything he had to offer to help him feel comfortable. As though the apartment were not also David’s. As though if David wanted anything, he wouldn’t have already gotten it.

“No.” A slight smile flashed across David’s face. He shook his head. Still held Patrick’s hand in both of his.

Patrick moved his head. Tilted it toward the bed. “You want to…?”

David nodded. “Yes.” His voice was high. His breath caught in his chest.

Patrick moved first. His hand out, slightly behind him as David held it.

David took one step and then another as he walked behind Patrick toward the bed, still holding Patrick’s hand in both of his.

They stood together on David’s side of the bed. David let go of his hand. David began to worry the rings on his right hand. Looked Patrick in the eyes.

If you asked Patrick and he were to be completely honest with you, he’d tell you that he saw nothing but vulnerability in David’s eyes in that moment. That he couldn’t recall a time, in the entire year that he’d known David, that David had looked like that.

And then, David whispered, “Take care of me, Patrick?”

And the tug at Patrick’s heart was nearly unbearable.

Patrick pressed his lips together. The corners of his mouth pulled back. That smile he gave when he was moved. Pleased.  
  
Patrick nodded. “No safe word tonight. If you want it to stop you say so. If you change your mind, you say so. If you can’t find words and you push me away, I’ll back off.”

David nodded.

“I need to hear that you understand what I’m saying right now.” Patrick said.

“If I say stop, we stop.” David said.

“Even if I’m already in. If you don’t want me to finish… you say so. I’ll pull out.” Patrick told him. He needed David to know he was safe. David was calling the shots.

“I understand.” David nodded.

“Sit.” Patrick told him as he gently pressed on David’s shoulder. Encouraging him to sit on the side of the bed.

Patrick removed the towel from around his waist and tossed it onto the chest at the end of the bed. He knelt on one knee in front of him. Looked up at him.

The look on David’s face showed more emotions than Patrick could name. His eyes didn’t settle in one place long, the way they do when he’s nervous. His lips quivered a bit before he pulled both of them into his mouth and bit down in that way he does when he’s excited. His head tilted to the side, the way it does when he’s worried. His eyes glistened the way they do when he’s holding back tears.

 _My god I love him. He trusts me. He trusts me._ Patrick thought.

Patrick picked up one of David’s feet. Removed his boot and his sock. He ran his thumb down the arch of David’s foot. A strong squeeze that he knew David liked. He pulled off his other boot and sock. Another squeeze to his foot.

David pressed his hands to the mattress on each side of himself and looked down at Patrick. “I changed my mind.”

Patrick stood. Nodded. Reached for his towel and wrapped it around himself. “OK.” Stood back. Hands on hips.

“No, No.” David stood and walked briskly to the table. His bare feet making a quiet patting sound on the floor. “I mean I did need something. I want my phone near me. I want to hear this song while we…”

Patrick exhaled the breath he’d been holding. “K.” He nodded. Hands on his hips. Eyes on David.

David sat his phone near the bed. Adjusted the volume.  
  
“Will it bother you if I play this song?” David asked him.

“No, Babe. Whatever you want.” Patrick told him.

David stood in front of him. “Do you maybe need to get the lube? So… we don’t have to stop when…”

While David spoke, Patrick walked away from him. Walked to his own side of the bed to get supplies from the drawer. He hesitated over the drawer before reaching for a condom.

“Patrick?” David’s voice saying his name held the entirety of the question in it.

As Patrick stepped near him, as he set the lube and condom on the bedside table near David’s phone, he said in his best casual voice, “Just in case you change your mind. Because it will all be fine if you change your mind.”

Patrick stood in front of him. Hands on his waist. Nodding seriously.

David’s lips pulled into an easy smile. A smile Patrick had seen before. Like when Patrick offers to sweep the floors so David doesn’t have to.

Patrick felt trusted. And strong. And ready. But he was afraid to make the first move. He didn’t want to do anything that would be read wrong by David. He thought for a moment how he might proceed. He wasn’t sure what to do.

And then… David held out his right hand to Patrick. The silent request of their ritual. He was ready.

Patrick’s eyes traveled from David’s eyes to his hand, back to his eyes. He gently took David’s hand. And one-by-one he slid the four rings slowly off David’s fingers. He held them in the palm of his hand until all four were snugly there. He raised his hand. Brought David’s hand to his mouth.

Patrick closed his eyes as he softly kissed the back of his hand.

When he opened his eyes and looked at David he was greeted with that smile. The one where his soft lips were pulled to the left. Satisfied. Happy.

Patrick’s mind flashed to the four rings in his closet. He could get them. They were three feet away in the closet. Tonight would be just as good as any other. But… no. He couldn’t… he wouldn’t tie this night to a proposal. This night was separate from that. This night was about David trusting him. This night was about something different. And he wouldn’t overshadow that with a proposal.

He reached over to the bedside table and set the rings down beside David’s phone. Beside the lube. Beside the condom.

Slowly, cautiously, Patrick stepped nearer. His hands rested easily on David’s waist. He looked up at him. Waited for David to look at him.

“Dance with me,” Patrick’s voice was low.

David smiled again. His hands gently resting on Patrick’s shoulders. They began to sway again.

“Kiss me, David.” Patrick told him what he wanted. What he needed to ensure that they started right.

With one hand on each side of Patrick’s face, David pulled him in for a kiss. Deep and hard. The kiss did exactly what Patrick had wanted and needed. It flipped the switch inside of him.

His hands slid under David’s sweater and then up David’s sides, bringing the sweater along with it. David raised his arms in the air as Patrick pushed the sweater up and over his head.

He stepped back from David. Sweater in his hands. He folded the sweater. Set it on the dresser near the bed. Received another one of those smiles from David.

Back in David’s arms, Patrick ran his hands over David’s chest. His fingers lightly toying first with David’s chest hair, then David’s nipples before his hands moved around him. Pulled him close. Pressed their chests together. Skin to skin.

Patrick kissed his shoulder. His neck. That spot just below his ear. “I love you,” he whispered.

He felt David exhale. A shaky breath left his body.

“I’ve got you, Babe,” Patrick assured him. And he shifted. _Protection mode. Make him feel safe._

He tilted his head back. One hand moved to the back of David’s head. He pulled him in for another kiss. Gentle. Slow. “Mine.” Patrick murmured against his lips.

David’s head moved very slightly. The “Yes” David whispered was so quiet that Patrick felt it more than he heard it.

His hands moved between them. Pushed down the sweatpants David wore. Pushed down his underwear.

Patrick moved to pick them up and David tugged on his arm. Shook his head. “Leave them.”

David moved toward he bed. Pulled back the covers. “I’m ready, Patrick.”

“OK,” Patrick nodded. He took his towel off. Tossed it onto the chest at the end of the bed.

David sat on the side of the bed. Patrick moved to him. David’s knees opened. Patrick stepped between them. His arms at his side. He looked down at David.  
  
David’s hands moved first to Patrick’s waist. One hand slid up Patrick’s chest. Up over his shoulder and down his arm. David’s eyes followed the trail his hand took. When he ended with holding Patrick’s hand, he returned the gesture from earlier. Held Patrick’s hand to his lips. Brushed them against the back of Patrick’s hand.

Patrick turned his hand so that he cupped David’s cheek. Turned David’s head up. His thumb brushed along the stubble on David’s chin.

David’s hand wrapped around the base of Patrick’s cock. The feeling of finally being touched caused Patrick’s eyes to immediately close. His cock was firm and ready.

While his eyes were closed, he felt David. David’s warm, wet mouth pull him in.

“Mmmmm.” Patrick made the sound deep in his chest. His hips jutted forward. And he knew he needed to stop it. Knew he wouldn’t last long if David continued.

He opened his eyes and pulled back. His hand on David’s shoulders. “Feels so good, but you gotta stop, or…”

David did as he was told. He leaned back. But then he looked up at Patrick and Patrick’s heart swelled at the look on David’s face. Nervousness. Embarrassment.

“I don’t know, Patrick,” He whispered. His eyes shifted to the side. He bit the inside of his cheek.

Patrick, hand brushing against David’s face, “What, Babe? You OK?”

“I am,” David nodded. “But, I don’t know about…” David’s voice drifted off as he pointed down at a part of himself that did not seem to be interested in the goings on around him.

Patrick nodded. Hands on his waist. His face scrunched up as he pondered the situation presented by David’s lifeless dick.

He put a hand on David’s shoulder and encouraged him to move further back onto the bed. To lay back.

David moved where Patrick told him to. Put both of his hands to his own face and made a sound of embarrassment.

Patrick bent forward and then smacked his hands together.

“OK, listen up,” He said loudly in a commanding voice. Put his hands on his knees. “We’ve got a situation at hand and we need everyone paying attention.”

Shocked at the brash sounds Patrick was making in the quiet, dark room, David suddenly lifted his head from the bed and looked down his body.

Patrick, attention solely on David’s penis, began to speak.

“We’ve got an important event that’s going to take place tonight, and it can’t happen if one of us wants to watch from the bleachers. This nonsense is not gonna to fly on the field, you got that little guy?”

David chuckled. “Ummm… _little_?”

Patrick stood up straight, his very firm cock jutting out in front of himself proudly. He pointed down at his own erection and said, “At this particular moment in time… yes… yours is the little guy. Can you just let me have this one?”

David flashed a toothy grin and whispered, “Sure.”

“Now,” Patrick looked at David as he bent over again and put his hands on his own knees, “This is a very… _private_ … conversation between me and… my little buddy here. So…” Patrick waved his hand as if to shoo David away.

David dropped his head back onto the bed and looked down his body at Patrick.

“Now listen up,” Patrick smacked his hands together again. “I realize the thought of being the starting lineup in the big game is intimidating and you don’t want to get caught off base, but you’re not doing this alone. Me and this guy…? (Patrick pointed to his own dick) We got the bases covered, dude. You just have to show up with a glove and stand out in right field. I think you might even have a little fun.”

David pulled his lips into his mouth and bit down. Clearly suppressing a grin.

Patrick moved closer to David. A hand on the mattress on each side of him. Patrick leaned over David’s dick.

“There is no I in team.” Patrick said softly before he gently kissed David’s still flaccid penis.

“As the great Babe Ruth once said: _Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game_.” Patrick said quietly, his voice low and kind.

With one hand holding the base of David’s flaccid dick, he pulled David into his mouth and began to suck on him. He fit easily into Patrick’s mouth which allowed Patrick to use his tongue to slick around him while he used suction to tug on him.

With special coaching, with Patrick’s tongue sliding over David’s sensitive head, with Patrick’s warm, wet mouth pulling off him and sucking him back in a few times, the MVP was soon among them. Growing stronger and ready to play.

Patrick looked up, over David’s abdomen and chest and locked eyes with David. He was relieved to see a smile on David’s lips and a shine in his eyes.

Patrick winked at him.

David shifted in the bed. Moved to the middle of the bed. Lay on his side, one arm under himself, propping himself up. The leg under him stretched out long against the mattress. His other leg bent. Foot on the mattress. His cock far more interested than it was moments prior. The lids of his eyes heavy.

Patrick looked at him there. Moonlight casting a glow over his olive skin smattered with dark hair. Patrick thought that he maybe had never seen David look sexier than he did in that moment. David reached down to touch himself. Had a loose grip on his own cock. His thumb brushed over its head. He stroked himself as he looked at Patrick.

“I think I’m ready coach,” David murmured.

His cock twitched. A sound that was somewhere between a growl and a moan started deep in Patrick’s chest and he moved.

“Let’s play ball.” Patrick said with a teasing grin as he took the two steps to the bed and lifted his knee to raise himself up on it.

David rolled to his back. And Patrick lay beside him. One of his legs slung over David’s legs.

Patrick, leaning on one of his elbows to hold himself up, ran a hand over David’s chest as he lowered himself to kiss David. He licked into David’s mouth. David raised his arms so they would wrap around Patrick’s neck. Pull him in.

They took their time. Their kiss lingering. Sensual.

“You smell good,” Patrick told him. His voice low.

“New lotion,” David told him.

“We don’t sell it,” Patrick pulled back and searched David’s face.

“Are we taking inventory of the store tonight, or…”

Patrick shook his head. A brief smile. “Sorry.”

“It’s OK,” David said with a smile. His smile faded as he looked seriously at Patrick.

“Where’d you go? What’s the matter?” Patrick asked him.

David whispered, “Scared.”

“OK,” Patrick watched his face.

“I love you.” David told him.

“I know you do. I don’t question it. Ever.” Patrick told him honestly. “I love you, too.”

“I know,” David whispered.

“You still want to?” Patrick asked. “Because we don’t have to…”  
  
David interrupted him. “I want us to do this. Just…”

“I’ll go slow. I’ll pay attention.”

David nodded. Pulled Patrick down to him again. Another kiss.

David opened his mouth to Patrick who took control of it. With a gentle power that had them both wanting more. Deep. Slow.

Patrick moved his body over David. Normally, David’s legs spread easily and welcomed Patrick. His legs typically curled around Patrick. But, in that moment, he kept his legs together.

Patrick could have put a knee between them and David would have opened for him, but he had no intention of forcing the movement. So, he straddled David’s hips. Settled himself over David.

He leaned forward, holding his body up over David. Patrick on his hands and knees over him. Eye contact still held.

David’s hands immediately went to Patrick’s arms. His fingers moved gently, tentatively over Patrick’s muscled biceps.

Patrick lowered himself. Elbows on the bed. Face close to David. His lips gently kissing David’s. He moved to kiss him along the jaw. Whispering gentle words of encouragement and love into his ear.

 _Whatever you want._ Kiss. _It’s just us_. Kiss. _I love you_. Kiss. _You can trust me_. Kiss. _Stop any time you need_. Kiss. _Just tell me what you want._ Kiss.

His lips brushed against David’s again. As their kiss deepened, he felt David stir beneath him. Felt his legs gently open. Felt his leg move as one foot came to rest flat on the bed.

Patrick breathed out into David’s ear. He wanted to encourage him for the movement. “That’s it…we’ve got this.” His lips never left David’s skin. He moved from his lips. To his jaw. To his neck. Back to his jaw. He whispered all the words he knew helped relax David. Helped David feel safe.

He moved, then. Moved so that his knees were between David’s. And David’s legs did what they always did. Moved out of muscle memory. Moved to his comfort zone. His knees pulled up and he hooked his feet around Patrick’s waist.

“Atta boy.” Patrick said quietly, praising him. He kissed David’s temple.

David breath rushed out of him in an exhale that brought with it a low moan into Patrick’s ear. His tone low. His voice just above a whisper. “I’m a good boy.”

A shiver went into Patrick’s ear and down his back. His cock jerked in agreement with all of his nerves that were standing at attention. He pulled back slightly so he could look David in the eyes.

Patrick’s breath caught in his chest as he watched David struggle to meet his gaze. Watched David staring at his mouth. Knew David was attempting to gauge whether or not he’d crossed a line.

“Fuck, yes, David.” Patrick told him. Then added, “You’re _my_ good boy.”

David’s fingers tightened around his arms. Patrick lowered himself again. This time the kiss was deep. Bruising. He pulled David’s bottom lip into his mouth. One of David’s hands trailed up his shoulder and snuck around to the back of his neck and pulled him down harder.

Patrick’s hands moved under David’s arms. His hands slid between David and the mattress to press against his back, pulling him up slightly off the mattress toward Patrick who shifted so his lips were able to move slowly along David’s neck.

Patrick knew what the goal was, but he was so turned on he worried he’d not be able to handle himself the way he’d need to. David needed him to be in control. Needed him to take it slowly.

He mentally chastised himself for not rubbing one out earlier when he was in the shower. He couldn’t get out of his mind what they were going to do and he was throbbing with anticipation.

His body was ready to go, but his brain needed to slow down. He needed to think of anything else so that he’d last and it would be right for David.

But he also knew David. He knew that David’s mind was working hard to stay in that moment and not go where his anxiety was apt to take him. He knew David’s mind was trying to get them into a mood that would take them over the edge, because if his mind wasn’t there, it was in a million places that would keep him from wanting to do it tonight.

So, he did what David wanted. What David needed. And he started talking to him to keep that mind of his engaged in what their bodies were feeling. What they were about to do.

“David…”

“Mmmmm…?”

Patrick wanted to be sure they were on the same page, so he told him again. “Remember. No safe word tonight, Babe. No means no. Stop means stop. Pushing me back will push me back. I’m listening to your every word, David. You’re in control here.”

“I know, Patrick.” David exhaled quietly into Patrick’s ear, causing a shiver to run again down the length of Patrick’s body. “I trust you.”

“I’ll pull out before I come. When you’re ready for me to pull out, just tell me.”

David nodded. “I know.”

Patrick, still holding himself over David felt David’s hand move down Patrick’s back and cup his ass. His eyes held Patrick’s.

Patrick took a deep breath. He hoped he didn’t mess it all up. Hoped he didn’t ruin it.

“I’ll be back, Baby. I’m just going to …” Patrick nodded his head to the side… “I’m gonna go visit you down here for a bit.”

“MmHmm.” David nodded.

Patrick moved his lips and kissed David’s lips. His cheek. And then said quietly into David’s ear, “Let me taste you.”

David’s fingers dug into Patrick’s ass cheeks. His way of asking for them to press their bodies together. Their cocks, side-by-side between them. He turned his head and told Patrick. “Yes, Daddy.”

Patrick’s cock throbbed at the words. He moaned at how turned on he could be by one word that, had you asked him away from that moment, he would have said was absolutely inappropriate to utter in bed. But _damnit_ , he wanted to hear it again.

His cock ached to be touched. He wanted to wrap his hands around it and finish himself off he was so turned on.

Instead, he pulled away from David. Moved one hand to cup David’s balls. Massage them. Roll them tenderly in his hands. Pull them gently. Listening to David’s sharp inhaled breath. Listening to his release of breath that came with a low moan. None of it helped control Patrick.

And though David had uttered words like “I’m a good boy” and “Yes, Daddy,” in order to stay turned on in the moment, Patrick need to think of anything else in an effort to not finish before he started.

He forced his brain to organize a shelf at work. He forced his brain to think about the payroll checks he needed to write. He forced himself to think about a cup of hot tea and how it burned going down on the first gulp.

All the while, his lips followed his fingers. First kissing, then licking the shaft of David’s cock. His tongue darted out and licked its head. He was sure to not linger for long. No lingering. Just moving over David to bring him along. Get David’s mind on the rush of blood to all his sensitive areas.

As Patrick’s fingers moved, David’s legs fell further open. Relaxed and wanting.

“That’s a good boy.” Patrick told him in a low and quiet voice. Coaxing him. Rewarding him.

He was rewarded with a low moan from David.

Patrick’s hands moved under David’s ass and encouraged him to roll his hips up and open. Patrick’s mouth moved along the inside of David’s thigh. His lips loved feeling the hair along David’s inner leg. He loved the new scent he smelled on him. Masculine and strong.

Upon feeling Patrick’s hot breath on his hole, upon feeling his tongue swipe over it, David let out a whimper. One hand found its way to Patrick’s head. The pads of his fingers circling on Patrick’s scalp, encouraging him to stay there. To linger.

David’s other hand held on to his own cock. Squeezing it tightly at its base.

Patrick took his time. He knew what David liked. What he wanted. His tongue circled him. Entered him. Patrick opened his mouth and kissed him. Deeply. He moaned into David, so that David would feel the vibration he loved. He took his time there. His mouth on David’s most sensitive area while David stroked himself.

“Patrick.” David fingernails dug into Patrick’s scalp, replacing the soft circles he had been making. Patrick’s cock jerked again.

As Patrick kissed him again on his sensitive hole, felt David writhing beneath him, he forced his brain away from the moment. That leak under the sink in the office. The ladder by the front window that had started wobbling.

Patrick moved, then. Moved because David had hooked a hand under Patrick’s arm and was pulling him up. “I need you, Patrick. I need you…” he breathed heavily, quickly. “I’m ready.”

Patrick moved back up David’s body. He lingered on David’s chest. The chest he’s loved from the first moment he touched him. He nuzzled his cheek there. Brushed his cheek against the hair on his chest, breathed him in. Kissed him.

“God, I love you, David.” He said with shaky words.

Patrick’s left elbow was close to David’s side, holding himself over David. They shared tender, quiet kisses as Patrick moved the head of his cock along the line of David’s center. Up and down his taint. The head of his cock circling David’s hole, leaving a slightly damp trail with the beads of cum that had begun to drip from his slit.

David reached beside him to the table, for the lube. He snapped the lid open and held it out to Patrick who opened his hand to receive an ample amount.

The wordless ritual they’d done together countless times.

Patrick might normally want to lean back for the prep. Rest on his heals and watch while his fingers entered and stretched David. But he was afraid of David’s mind taking over if he left him. So, Patrick stayed over him. Their bodies in contact. Patrick’s voice in David’s ear.

“You always feel so good to me David.” He told him as his finger slowly entered him.

David’s knee instinctively raised up, allowing Patrick easier access. A moan came from deep within David’s chest.

“You like that, Baby? You like it when my finger touches there?” Patrick said as he turned his finger upward again, stroking David in the spot that has caused David’s body to jerk in response to the pleasure. All while he nuzzled David’s neck and planted kisses along his shoulder.

“Yes, Mr. Brewer.” David uttered, deep, low, masculine. His hands grasping at Patrick’s back.

Patrick worked in another finger. Slowly stretching him. Teasing that spot. Another finger. In and out. Stretching. Teasing.

“Stay open for me,” Patrick whispered to him as he withdrew his fingers.

David nodded. While his left knee remained in the air, his foot flat on the mattress, his right knee turned out and his leg lay, lax, on the bed.

“That’s it.” Patrick praised him for relaxing.

Patrick’s hand moved under David’s knee and he tapped David’s hip. “More lube, Baby.”

David’s hand found the lube and snapped it open and poured another generous amount onto Patrick’s hand.

Patrick did his best to maintain his composure and tried to not make is sound of pleasure too loud as he wrapped his hand around his own naked cock, spreading the lube over himself. He dropped his head so that his forehead rested on David’s chest. He took a deep breath, god he smelled so good, and then he raised his head.

He looked at David, whose eyes were closed. Squinted shut.

He waited.

He waited.

“David,” He said his name. He kissed David’s lips. His face close to him, he said his name again. “David.”

Patrick circled the head of his cock around David’s hole again.

He knew what would get David’s attention. “David, look at daddy.”

David’s eyes snapped open.

“I want you to see my face.” He told him.

David nodded.

“Are you ready?” Patrick asked.

David nodded again.

“I need to hear the words, Babe.” Patrick told him.

“Yes. Please, Patrick. Yes.” David’s hands grasped Patrick’s arms.

“You want me to get the condom?” Patrick offered.

“No. No.” David’s head quickly moved back and forth.

“K.” Patrick moved himself again. David’s hole puckered as he ran the head of his slick cock over it.

“Please. I want you in me.” David said. “I need you.”

“Can I watch? David. Are you alright if I watch it?” Patrick pulled away from him slightly. His eyes darted down to where his cock was toying with David’s hole.

“Yes, Patrick. Don’t worry about me. It’s OK.” David told him.

Patrick lined himself up. For the first time, he lined his naked cock against David’s hole and he slowly, purposefully began to push in. He watched himself ease in. He watched David’s flesh stretch tight around his thick, throbbing cock.

The breath he tried to take in…or maybe it was the breath he tried to exhale…got caught. As he felt the hot, smooth, tightness of David begin to surround the tip of his dick, he couldn’t tell you if he was inhaling or exhaling. He couldn’t breathe, really; he had forgotten how. The sensation was more than he anticipated.

Not just the sensation. Not just how it felt. He looked at it… it was different without a condom.

And, it was different… so much different… than going condomless with a woman.

Patrick worked to keep his eyes open. Worked to not get lost in the sensation.

“How’s it feel?” David’s voice broke through the sensation Patrick was feeling to grab his attention.

Patrick’s eyes quickly found David’s. He made a sound. A low, throaty moan, as he sank deeper into him.

He lowered himself over David. Rested his body on both elbows on each side of David as he sank completely into him.

His naked cock, balls deep into David Rose. _Finally. Finally._

His face just inches from David. “Ohhhhh fuck, David. You feel so good.”

He pulled back slightly and moved forward again. Small, gentle, slow, easy movements.

“Tell me.” David said. “Describe it. I want to hear you tell me.”

“You’re…um…” Patrick worked to get control of his breathing. “You’re hot, David. It’s….so much more…It’s warmer than…” Patrick worked to find the words.

Patrick rocked his hips back and forth, in and out. “And it’s so…didn’t know it would glide this smoothly. It’s…Fuck.” The sensation was a powerful one and Patrick had trouble forming coherent sentences.

“Tell me.” David’s hands ran the length of Patrick’s back. He caressed his shoulders. He cupped his ass. “Tell me. Please, Patrick… I need you.”

“The head of my dick, Da….” Patrick breathed out as he pushed himself deeper into David. Felt himself glide inside of him. “I feel everything, David. It’s so much more…intense. You’re so tight and warm. Smooth. I… I feel you touching every part of my dick. It’s so good.” Patrick inhaled sharply.

Patrick looked at David and realized that as he was losing himself in the new sensations he was feeling, he was losing David. David’s eyes darted to the side. His hands stilled. He lay motionless.

Patrick shifted. He leaned his weigh on his left elbow. His right hand moved to rest flat on the mattress by David. He gently kissed David and then moved his lips along David’s jawline, down his neck, and back up to his jaw.

He continued to pump into him. Slow, steady, gentle movements.

“Move with me, David.” Patrick continued the movements. Controlled. Gentle.

Patrick was vigilant. Waiting for him to move. To join Patrick. To buck his hips forward. Anything. Any sign to let Patrick know he was, mentally, there with him.

David’s hands moved, slightly. Tightened around Patrick’s lower back. 

“Come on, Baby. Feel it with me.” Patrick encouraged him.

Patrick felt David’s hand begin to move. Up Patrick’s back. Down his back. David’s fingers edging the line of Patrick’s backbone. Up and down.

“It feels so good to be in you, David. I want you to enjoy it, too.” Patrick shifted his position so he could move his hand to David’s cock. He wrapped his hand around David’s shaft, near its head. His thumb circled, teased, glided over him.

David made a sound of need. A sound of an unmet need that he clearly was not able to express.

Patrick knew that in that moment David needed words. He knew the words he needed, because David had been telling him the words.

Patrick leaned in. With a deep voice in David’s ear, he breathed, “Come on, Baby. Move with Daddy.”

Upon hearing the phrase from Patrick, David’s pressed his head back, deeper into the pillow. He arched his back. In the slightest of movements, David’s hips rocked forward.

“Atta boy.” Patrick breathed into his ear. He pulled out further so his next thrust would be deeper. Again. And Again. Smooth movements with a firm thrust.

David began to buck his hips in earnest. Meeting Patrick. Challenging him.

“Good. That’s so good.” Patrick praised him.

“I’m your good boy.” David breathed. He drew his knees up. One knee moved up and Patrick’s arm opened and moved under it, so David’s leg could move up to Patrick’s shoulder.

“Oh, god, David. Fuck. You know how to drive me crazy.” Patrick whispered to him.

They knew the rhythm. Once it began in earnest, they knew it. They knew what David’s body liked. They knew how Patrick could move his arms under David’s legs to force his body to curve upward so he could take more of Patrick’s length and girth. Their bodies responded to each other as they always had. Only Patrick continued to feel an intensity that he’d never felt before.

The room was quiet. Only the hushed sounds of their ragged breath. Only the sounds of hot, sweaty flesh hitting hot, sweaty flesh.

Patrick felt the juices. The blend of melted lube. The precum he knew he was expelling. The slippery secretions that David was producing. It all melded together. And with each movement out of David, more slid out and down him. And as Patrick pressed into him, it pressed more of it out. He couldn’t see it. He had his face buried in David’s neck. But he felt it. A different sensation than anything he’d ever felt.

Patrick held off as long as he could, but he needed them to get there. The desire in him to finish now far outweighed any other feeling.

He began to stroke David’s cock in earnest. He tilted David just a bit more so that on his next thrust, the head of his cock brushed the spot that made David quiver from the inside. Patrick couldn’t help but find it more pleasurable than he’d ever felt it, the sensitive head of his cock pressing into the spongy flesh inside of David.

One of David’s hands reached around Patrick and dug into the flesh of his ass. The other grabbed his own dick. Took it away from Patrick and wrapped his own hand around himself.

“OOhhhhfffff.” David exhaled a sound of pleasure. “I’m almost….Patrick… Help me get…”

Patrick grunted into David’s neck.

“Harder. Need….words…” David begged him.

Patrick put his free hand on the mattress to use as leverage. He knew what David wanted to hear. He knew what he wanted to feel. He pulled away and then thrust in earnest. In. Out. Firmly. Quickly. Smoothly.

They were wet.

 _Fuck it was so smooth._  
  
“David. I want to feel you come. Don’t fight it.” Patrick fought to get the words out as his body worked over David. As he pressed in him. Pulled out of him. Pressed in him again.

“Mmmmm.” David moaned.

He knew what David wanted to hear. Needed to hear. “Come for daddy.”

Patrick felt it before he heard or saw it. He felt the muscles that surrounded his cock tighten. Felt that final arch of David’s back as he stiffened under him.

“That’s it, David. Oh my god. That’s a good boy.”

He felt David clench around him. Felt the cum leave David’s cock and spurt up onto his lower abdomen before it spilled down over David’s hand.

“Fuck, David. Fuck. You feel so good.” Patrick told him as he continued to quickly and harshly pump into him.

The hushed moan David released coupled with the wave of pleasure as he felt the rippled movements surrounding his dick, and Patrick knew he was not far behind.

“Baby. I’m almost there. I’m going to pull out.” Patrick moved his hand to his dick. A muscle memory move, his mind was trained to reach for the base of the condom. As he reached for himself David protested. With his voice and his body.

His legs instantly moved down to circle Patrick’s waist. “No. Please. Keep going, Patrick.”

Patrick hesitated briefly. Looked into the eyes of his lover. David nodded.

“God, David.” Patrick groaned.

“Stay,” David’s command was stern. He bucked his hips and caused Patrick to press into him.

Patrick moved his hands under David’s legs again and pushed his legs back up to Patrick’s shoulders. He buried himself deep into David and partially pulled out. Thrusting in hard. And again. And on the third thrust he felt the wave begin and he locked eyes with David.

As Patrick’s body tightened and the familiar jolts of pleasure ran through him, he heard David.

“Only you, Mr. Brewer. You’re the only one…ever. Only you.” Tears dripped from David’s eyes, down his temples.

“Aarrrhhhhrrr. David. Fuck.” He expressed his growl of pleasure louder than he typically would. It felt so good. _He_ felt so good. David’s words drove him over the edge.

He lowered his weight over David. Folding David’s body nearly in half. Buried his face in David’s neck and thrust one, two more times.

The words rushed out of him. The words that were cluttered in his brain. “All mine. Finally, mine. You’re fucking mine. My sweet prince.” Choking back the emotion. Tears burned his eyes.

Patrick’s body stilled. He moved slightly so that David’s legs could move off his shoulders and settle to Patrick’s sides. Each foot on the mattress. Knees in the air.

Patrick gasped for breath, but he didn’t have the energy or strength to raise himself off of David. If he wanted to, he couldn’t. David’s arms were wrapped around his waist, holding Patrick tightly to him.

Patrick kissed David’s neck. His lips tasting the salty tears. David’s? Patrick’s? He wasn’t sure whose tears they were.

“David, I love you.” He whispered.

“I know.” David’s body began to shake.

Patrick raised up and saw David’s face. Full of emotion. His eyes shut. Crying.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” David whispered. Quickly shook his head.

Patrick moved to his knees. He held a hand to David’s inner thigh, pressing it out as he slowly pulled out of him. A rush of fluids came with him. Dripping out of David, puddling onto the bedsheet beneath him.

As David wept, he reached to the end of the bed and picked up the damp towel he had left there and wiped David as clean as he could get him. He wiped his own cock. He picked up David’s hand and wiped it. He then wiped David’s abdomen and then his own. He tossed the towel off the bed and to the floor. He felt he should do more for David. But in that moment, with David crying, he wanted to comfort him. Not clean him.

Patrick settled beside him. Wrapped one leg over David’s hips. Wrapped one arm over his chest.

David continued to cry. Held his hands over his face.

“Shhhh.” Patrick tried to comfort him. “Oh, Babe. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Patrick immediately felt guilty. He had always thought David would have him pull out in the end. He was prepared for that. When David told him to stay, he did. He shouldn’t have. He realized he shouldn’t have. He read David’s words and body language to say that he wanted him to stay in so he did.

He worried David regretted it. _That’s what this was, right?_ _David regretting it?_

“It’s alright. It’s OK.” David struggled to get the words out.

David rolled to his side. Rolled so his back was to Patrick.

Patrick watched him move away, and he hesitated. He didn’t move close to David. He knew David might not want to be touched in that moment. He wanted to give him the space he needed. David might feel violated. The whole act may have triggered a memory of the traumatic event.

David might be filled with regret. Patrick couldn’t read him. He’d not seen him like that before. Not that emotional.

He waited. He watched him.

David didn’t move more than his arm. But when his arm moved, Patrick began to breathe again. Because, David raised his arm and held it behind him. He waved his hand, at Patrick.

“Big spoon.” He said quietly.

He was asking to be held.

Patrick did not have to be asked twice. He moved quickly to press himself snugly against David. He winced quietly to himself as his hip landed squarely on the rather large and sticky wet spot they had created. But he stifled the urge to move. He reached down to the end of the bed to grab a fist full of sheet and blanket which he pulled up to his waist to cover them.

While Patrick reached for the covers, David reached for his phone. Turned off the music.

The room was quiet.

David grabbed ahold of Patrick’s arm and pulled it around himself.

Patrick felt him breathe deep. Inhale. Exhale.

Patrick joined him. Inhale. Exhale.

He had a million questions for David. But he held them. He was there for whatever David needed. And in that moment, David needed to breathe and he needed to be held.

Patrick kissed his shoulder.

David said nothing.

Patrick tightened his arm around David.

David’s hands tightened their hold on Patrick’s arms.

“Sing.” The request came in a whisper. “Patrick, please sing.”

And with no hesitation, Patrick knew what he needed to hear.

_I call you when I need you and my heart's on fire_ _  
You come to me wild and wired  
You come to me, give me everything I need  
Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams  
Speak the language of love like you know what it means_

++++++

Deep in the night, or more accurately the wee hours of the morning, Patrick heard him before he saw him. Heard him stirring. Patrick sat up and waited for is eyes to adjust. He saw him in the kitchen.

Patrick reached for his phone to check the time.

He got up and pulled on his underwear. He walked, barefoot, across the cool wooden floor toward the kitchen. David stood, coffee cup in both of his hands. He sipped the hot drink.

“Coffee at three in the morning?” He crossed his arms over his chest. Eyed David.

“I’m cold.”

“Mmm.” Patrick made the simple sound.

Silence.

“Want to take another hot shower?” Patrick offered.

They’d taken one together after David had calmed. They stood quietly in the hot shower and soaped each other. Kissed. Hugged. Rinsed each other.

David shook his head. Took another sip of his coffee.

“What do you want? What do you need…?” Patrick asked.

“I’m gonna…” David pointed to the bathroom. “I’m gonna use the bathroom and then I want to go back to bed.”

“OK.” Patrick watched him as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

++++++

They lay in bed. Patrick, naked and on his back. David in his sweatpants and sweatshirt, curled up against his side. His head on Patrick’s shoulder. Blankets pulled up under his chin.

Patrick knew they needed to get sleep; and he was exhausted. It would be morning before they knew it and the day that lie ahead would be a long one. But there was no way he was going to sleep if David wasn’t.

David’s fingers drew shapes and letters on Patrick’s bare chest. His breathing was steady. He was quiet.

Patrick finally broke the silence, “You want to talk about it?”

David spoke immediately, “I’m sorry I cried. I wasn’t upset. I don’t know what that was.”

“If you are telling me you weren’t upset, I’m going to trust that. You don’t owe me any explanation.” Patrick told him. His hand played with David’s hair. The curly mess on top of his head. “It did make me worry about you, though.”

“She told me I might have an emotional release. Since I’ve… you know… put so much stock into the whole thing.” David told him.

Patrick nodded. “I see.”

“The shaking… it was a release of adrenaline, I think.” David said.

“OK,” Patrick said.

They were quiet.

“Regrets?” Patrick had to ask him.

David leaned up on his elbow and looked down at Patrick. “What? No. Why would I have regrets?”

“Just… It’s all been a pretty big deal between us for a while.” Patrick told him.

David shook his head. His palm flat against Patrick’s chest. “No. No. No. No. No Regrets. No, I feel good. I feel like a … weight’s been lifted off my shoulders.”

It was good to hear it. Just hearing it lifted a weight off his own shoulders. Patrick moved his right arm. Tucked his hand under his pillow as he looked up at the ceiling. Elbow jutting out.

David moved his hand to touch him there. He loved Patrick’s biceps and he wanted to touch that soft skin of his inner arm. His eyes followed his fingers and he said, “I’m sorry I made you wait so long for that.”

“I don’t think we were on a timeline,” Patrick told him. “We were ready when we were ready.”

David rested his head back on Patrick’s shoulder. His fingers swiping, back and forth, over Patrick’s chest.

Patrick fought to keep his eyes open. Exhaustion from the day. Exhaustion from the release of tension. The rhythmic feel of David’s fingers.

“Babe, I’m trying to stay awake.” He confessed.

“Shhh,” David made a comforting sound. “Go to sleep. It’s OK.”

Patrick’s words became slow and thick as he mumbled them. As his eyes closed. “I’ll protect you.”

“I know, Mr. Brewer.” David whispered.

“You… felt…sss…”

Before he could get out the sentence, the heavy weight of exhaustion pressed down onto Patrick and he succumbed to sleep.

++++++

He stood by the bed, a smile on his face as he watched him sleep. David lay there. Flat on his stomach. His face pressed into the pillow. Patrick’s pillow.

He reached over and touched his back. Patted him. Wanted him to wake up.

David opened one eye. The eye that wasn’t pressed into the pillow.

Patrick was leaning low over him. Bending down beside the bed.

“Good morning, Sunshine.” Patrick said with a smile. Kissed David’s cheek.

David made a sound. A decidedly discontented morning sound.

“I’m headed to the store. You stay in bed.” Patrick’s fingers reached out for David’s hair.

David shut his eyes at the feeling of having his hair played with while he was teetering on the verge of going back to sleep.

“I’ll get up,” David mumbled into the pillow.

“No need. I’ve got the store. You sleep. No need for us both to be there.” Patrick told him.

“Sure?” David asked him. He could, if he must, get up.

“You were up all night, weren’t you?” Patrick asked him. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“My brain,” David mumbled.

“What time did you go to sleep?” The mattress dipped as Patrick sat on the bed beside him. Stroked his back.

“Five? Six?” David couldn’t think.

“I need to know if you’re regretting it.” Patrick told him. He knew he should let him sleep, but Patrick couldn’t carry the worry with him all day.

“No regrets.” David mumbled.

“Promise?” Patrick asked. “Can you promise me you’re telling the truth?”

“Promise.” David mumbled into the pillow.

“OK,” Patrick moved his hand. Patted David’s ass. “We’re going to talk about it all later.”

“I have no doubt,” David huffed out a sound that resembled a chuckle.

“I don’t need you at the store until 3. Seriously, sleep as late as you want.”

“Set my alarm.” David requested as his arm squeezed Patrick’s pillow.

Patrick reached for David’s phone. Set it for early afternoon. Pulled the blankets up over David’s shoulder. Kissed him on the cheek and headed to the door.

Behind him, David raised his head off the pillow, “Mr. Brewer?”

Patrick turned to look back at him. “Yeah, David?”

David leaned up on one elbow, his hair a mess on the top of his head. His eyebrows run amok. He said the words he knew that Patrick needed to hear. “I know you will always keep me safe.”

Patrick, lips pressed together, nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m going to love you until my dying breath.” David told him seriously.

Patrick fought every urge in his body to jump up and down in a celebratory cheer. He fought every urge to cross the room and crawl on top of David and smother him in kisses.

Instead, he chose to do what would make David the most comfortable. He simply said, “Me too, David.”

“Now go to work and let me sleep,” David’s head plopped back down on the pillow.

And Patrick gave him what he wanted.

Peace. Quiet. Solitude.

As he left him alone in the apartment while he went to the store. Their store. The place they built together.

And he spent the morning, thinking of David. Thinking of the milestone they had crossed together. And thinking of the next milestone… that would take place in just a matter of days.

+++


	38. Kiss Me: David

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day and night that David and Patrick return from the weekend they spend with Patrick's parents.  
> (David's Perspective)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place between 5.12 and 5.13.
> 
> +++
> 
> ****SPOILER ALERT****  
> If you do not want any spoilers and you are not concerned about being triggered by anything I write, please skip the Trigger Warnings and wait to read the author's notes until after you've read the chapter.  
> BUT IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY PARTS OF THE DAVID'S STORY THAT I'VE WRITTEN IN PREVIOUS CHAPTERS, PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS  
> ***END SPOILER ALERT***
> 
> +++
> 
> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> Use of language that some may see as infantilizing and/or incestuous (daddy). If the use of infantilizing/incestuous words in the context of consensual sexual encounters between two adults is disturbing to you, or you believe it will trigger you, please skip this chapter.  
> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> If sex without protection (in the context of a loving, consensual, committed and monogamous relationship between two HIV-free adult men) is a trigger for you ,please do not read this chapter.  
> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> If emotional release in the form of tears or adrenaline-induced tremors is a trigger for you, please do not read this chapter.  
> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> If discussion about the trauma of a prior sexual assault (not discussed in detail - BUT is eluded to) is a trigger for you in any way, please do not read this chapter.  
> ****END WARNINGS****
> 
> +++
> 
> A note about the creation of this chapter, and the previous chapter. 
> 
> First, you all know that I typically bounce between Points of View (POV) in my chapters so you can see where the minds of both men are. But in this situation I wanted to do something very different. So as I began to write the previous chapter, I did something I'd never done before and I wrote a parallel chapter to it. One chapter with two different points of view. (David had a lot to process, so this chapter is significantly longer than Patrick's). 
> 
> My decision to try writing their first condomless experience like this was based on the idea that some of you have told me that you have "Favorite" chapters and I thought if one was a "Patrick Fan" or a "David Fan," They may prefer to have a chapter purely in their favorite's POV. And when this particular endeavor became overwhelming (because it did... living in David's brain is not an easy thing for me), I stayed focused on the fact that my DisgruntledPelican (DP) would really appreciate reading a David-focused chapter. So, this chapter is for her and the rest of you who really love your David POVs. 
> 
> And on the subject of DP, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that we have a new tag on this work. A new phrase coined by a very DisgruntledPelican who was thrilled to now have "MVP Dick Conversations" to look forward to. 
> 
> +++
> 
> Finally...  
> Happy New Year, Friends. 
> 
> Posting this special chapter this afternoon for those of you who don't have plans. For those of you who aren't able to be with others (and, let's face it, it is BEST if we aren't with groups tonight). 
> 
> Please know you are not alone. If you need a friend, you can reach out to me on Twitter if you' d like: @PandorasDaydrm. I don't have major plans and will be happy to communicate with you so you don't feel alone. 
> 
> May we look back on 2020 as a time when we reached for things that comforted us while we made decisions to keep those around us safe. And may 2021 be full of laughter, light, and love (whether we are socially distanced or in each other's arms). 
> 
> Be safe, well, and happy. 
> 
> \- PD
> 
> +++

++++++

On their way back into town, they stopped quickly at the motel to drop off David’s suitcase. Then swung by Patrick’s apartment to drop of Patrick’s suitcase, deliver the blankets, and put the food Marcy sent in the freezer.

Though David begged to take a nap, Patrick reminded him that he slept for two hours on the road and Alexis was working the store. They needed to go relieve her of her duties.

David disagreed that he was pouting as they descended the stairs and headed out to Patrick’s car.

++++++

David could tell immediately that Patrick was pleased with Alexis.

David, on the other hand, walked through the store eyeing every product and its position on the tables and shelves. Skeptical. He opened a few lip balms, and body butters. Eyed them and then shot looks at Alexis. The products seemed untouched, but he didn’t trust her. She may have just flattened them out.

While Patrick examined the receipts from Friday and Saturday and gushed to Alexis at how busy she must have been, David noticed that there were empty spaces on the shelves that could have been… should have been… stocked. 

He peeked into the restroom.

At least the sink was still standing.

David stood in the corner and looked over the alpaca throws. Counted what was on the shelf. “You sold three of these?” He said over his shoulder.

She didn’t take her eyes off Patrick, but she answered David and nodded, “Yes. Mmhmm.”

David immediately wondered who she sold them to.

He was an amazing salesman, and he could talk people into buying them. But so many people in the community had them at that point, that few now purchased them unless they were buying a gift for someone. Sales had dropped off. So… _three_? He had his doubts.

Patrick ducked into the office.

“Who did you sell them to?” David asked. Not hiding the suspicion in his voice.

“Customers, David,” She shot at him.

“Which day did you sell them?” He asked her.

“I don’t know, David. I sold a lot of things this weekend while you were on _vacation_.” Her eyes were large as she bit back at him.

David pursed his lips and raised a hand to flip her off just as Patrick emerged from the office. David put his hands to his side and watched the two of them.

Patrick handed her a check.

David heard her tell him, “You didn’t take out the cost of fixing the sink.”

David, refolding the sweaters that did not need refolding, watched the exchange from across the store. He eyed first Alexis, then Patrick, then Alexis. Then Patrick.

Patrick held up a hand to her, “No. No. I did.” He chuckled in that way he does when he’s trying to hide something from David. His eyes shifted and avoided David’s glare.

“Then, your math is wrong.” She told him.

David knew. He knew Patrick. Patrick felt guilty that he had been angry at Alexis over the sink.

Even though this whole thing about Alexis working for them again was about providing her an opportunity to work off the cost of the repairs, Patrick was going to cover the cost and not hold her accountable.

David just knew by looking at him.

When Patrick glanced at David, David shot him a look. Furrowed brow and a tilt of his head. He rolled his eyes. Very aware that Patrick was paying her more than the agreed-upon amount.

David refused to get involved. Patrick said he’d handle it and David trusted him to handle it in whatever way he felt necessary.

“Math’s not wrong Alexis.” Patrick said loudly with that same chuckle, as though he were hiding something from David. Then he pulled Alexis in for a hug.

But there was no doubt in David’s mind that Alexis was getting off scot free. David sighed.

He wasn’t mad about it. His boyfriend was, at his core, reliably kind.

At least he had a wonderful weekend… and Alexis sold some of the alpaca throws. Or, so she said.

++++++

“Please take my car.” Patrick asked him as he printed off the online orders that had been made over the weekend.

David had rescheduled his Monday morning therapy appointment for the end of the day and needed to leave. He was going to walk back to the motel and take the Rose family vehicle. It was not a big deal for him to do so. The car was reliable enough. And, truth be told, David had paid for it. It was… technically his car. But he knew that Patrick didn’t like when David drove it. He knew that Patrick worried that the car was unreliable.

“What about the post office run?” David asked. Waving a hand over the boxes that were set up around the register while Patrick gathered the items to pack.

“Won’t have time. I’m going to run the deposit by the bank on my way to rehearsal. I can take the boxes to the post office in the morning.”

“M’Kay. How late is rehearsal?” David asked him. Already sad that he wasn’t going to be snug in Patrick’s embrace as he fell to sleep that night.

“Late. Maybe after 10 or 11? We’re running the whole thing start to finish for the first time tonight. Production this weekend. It’s going to be a lot.” Patrick said as he worked packing the orders into boxes. “You spending the night tonight?”

“I thought I better be at the motel. Not sure what Mom will be like? I’m guessing with Ted leaving at the end of the week, Alexis will be staying with him all week.” David said.

“You have your key to the car?” Patrick asked. Long ago, he’d given David his own key so they didn’t have to keep passing back and forth Patrick’s keys. David loved that he had that key, along with the key to Patrick’s apartment, on his key ring.

David patted his pocket, “Yup.”

Patrick paused the packing he was working on. Moved to David who stood near the door. “Somethin’ wrong?”

“Not a thing,” David shook his head. Nothing was wrong. He was happy. Blissfully happy. “I had a good weekend. I’m sad it’s over.”

David watched Patrick’s eyes soften. He pressed his lips together in a satisfied smile that David loved. “It _was_ really good,” Patrick agreed with him.

They kissed. A soft, loving kiss.

The door opened. The bell jangled. “Christ. Get a fuckin’ room,” Darlene’s cousin said as she barged into the store.

David pulled his head back. Rolled his eyes. _God, that woman._ Every interaction David was forced to have with her was a painful one.

“Go. Go.” Patrick patted David’s back. “See you tomorrow.”

David did not hesitate to take the opportunity to leave the store without turning back.

++++++

“Hi,” David smiled and briefly met her eyes.

He settled into his usual spot at the end of the couch. Adjusted the pillow at his back to provide support so he would sit up tall, assured. He turned his phone off. Clutched it in his hands.

He waited while she sat. Watched her take a sip of her hot beverage. Listened to her recap their last session.

He nodded. Set his phone on the couch cushion beside where he sat.

…

“Yes. We did. We just returned, actually. A few hours ago.” He told her when she asked if they ended up following through with the trip to Patrick’s parents’ home.

…

“It was great.” He poured himself some water from the small pitcher of water that sat on the table beside the couch.

He liked that she always had ice water and a clean glass there for him. Hydration was important. So was having something to do with one’s hands.

He took a sip of the water. Set the glass down.

…

“Yes, I mean it. It was far better than I’d anticipated. It… it was really a nice visit.” He rubbed his palms together. Rested his hands on his lap.

…

“I’m not sure. I suppose I hadn’t thought that it would turn out as… enjoyable?… as it did? It was unexpected, for sure.”

…

“No. I didn’t think _that_. I didn’t think it would be bad. But… I suppose I wasn’t sure what to expect. And, you know me… when I don’t know what to expect, I generally think the worst will happen.” He pushed out an uncomfortable, small, fake laugh.

…

“I know. Add that to the list of self-improvements I need to focus on next.” David said half joking, half serious. And he knew full well that she was making a note of it and would circle back to it on another day.

…

“Well, for starters, the road trip was wonderful.”

“He made sure the snacks were on point,” David said. Punctuating the air with his finger. “And, he makes these little games for us? Road Trip Bingo.”

…

“Sure. Yes, he does. He puts effort into it. But… I don’t know that it was _a lot_ of trouble? Maybe. I hadn’t really thought about it like that. I suppose… now that you mention it. Yes. He’s been very busy with rehearsal, but he did. He made sure the games were printed off and… he bought a special little bag of candy for the winner to have as a reward. Then when we were on the road, he bought all the good snacks.”

Then he felt the need to add, “Correct snacks on a road trip are _very important_.”

…

“ _He_ did. He drove. Most of the way.”

…

“Because I don’t like to. I’ve never really loved it. But more recently…I suppose… I’m nervous behind the wheel.”

He thought a moment.

“To be fair most of my life I didn’t _have_ to drive. We had a driver when I was growing up, and then later when I had the loft in the city I called for cars. There was absolutely no place to park, so why buy a car? You know?”

“I’ve always been a bit nervous about driving, but after the accident last summer?… that just…” David stopped and took a deep breath. He rubbed the palms of his hands over his thighs. He stared at the design on the carpet between the two of them.

She waited for him to gather his thoughts.

He looked up at her. “It still scares me. That truck just came out of nowhere. I was doing _everything_ right and it just…” David smacked his hands together loudly in front of himself.

He settled his hands into his lap. His left hand worried the rings on his right. He looked at his hands for a moment. Then looked up at her. Squinted one eye. Spoke softly. “I don’t know what I would have done if Patrick would have been in the car that day? I hate when I think about it.”

…

“Less now. I used to obsess about it. But it only crosses my mind sometimes now. Usually only when he’s in the passenger seat.”

…

“No. I don’t get as nervous when I’m alone. Like when I drove here today? I was fine. I mean… sometimes I do? Like in bad weather I get very anxious. But, it’s mostly when he’s there in that seat beside me? Like I’m responsible for his safety when I’m at the wheel? I guess I… I just don’t like the feeling.”

…

“No. No. I’ve not told him. I don’t know that I need to. He’d just tell me that there’s no reason to worry and it was just a freak accident.”

…

“Right. Yes. We can… I suppose. We can add it to the things to circle back to...”

“… you’re right. We _should_ discuss that. The accident and my feelings about losing him. But yes. I want to talk about the weekend. That was what I wanted to talk about today.”

…

“Mmhm. Yes. Absolutely lovely. Both of them. So kind and generous. I feel very accepted by them. Of course, they adore _him_ and so,… I suppose because he loves me, they naturally like me? Is that how people like them do that sort of thing?”

…

“ _Like them_? I don’t know what I mean by that. I mean… people like them. I don’t know another way to say it.”

“They’re not like my family. I don’t know. How would _you_ describe them?”

…

“Right. You’re right. This is about me and my perceptions, not yours.”

“M’Kay. How about… salt of the earth? Is that the phrase? I mean… I don’t know how much more earthy you get than people who raise animals and make quilts and baked sweet treats just to have them out in case company comes over… and… have family and friends over to meet your son’s… _boyfriend_.” David made no effort to hide his smile when he said the word boyfriend.

…

David smiled and nodded. He pulled his feet up under himself. “Yes. I did. Met the whole lot of them. And then some.” He chuckled.

“There were a lot of children. _A lot._ That is a procreating group of people.” David said with a smile and an amused tone to his voice.

…

“No. No. I didn’t mean that. I don’t think they’d expect us to…”

And then David stopped to think about it.

“… although knowing Marcy she _would want_ to be a grandmother.”

David paused for a moment as he thought about Marcy.

Then he added, “She would be an _amazing_ grandmother. She would scrapbook _the hell_ out of that kid’s life. And of course, Clint would be a very good grandfather. He’d teach them how to… fix things. Like he did Patrick.”

…

“Yes. I do.” He smiled broadly. A big, toothy smile. “They both asked me to do that. First name basis one week after knowing I’m dating their son. I mean… that meant a lot to me.”

David paused.

“Do you think it was too soon? For them to tell me I can call them by their first names?”

…

“Right. Right. It doesn’t matter what you think. It’s what I think.”

…

“Well… I think it’s nice. And I’m comfortable doing it, so….”

David stopped talking. Stared over at the window. Pulled part of his bottom lip into his mouth and lightly bit down as he thought about Patrick’s parents.

…

Her question brought him back to the present. “Yes. The barbecue.”

David sighed. “Sorry, I got side tracked.”

“The barbecue was a lot. There were so many of them.”

David smiled as he thought about Patrick, “He was so happy being there. I watched him. He loves them. All of them. He played with the kids. He teased his cousins. He talked shop with his uncles.”

…

“Yes. Mmhm. He introduced me, of course. I didn’t do well remembering all of their names. It was overwhelming worrying about first impressions and talking with each person. But… they all seemed kind.”

…

“We did. Yes.” David said.

He shifted in his seat. He reached for the pillow that rested on the other end of the couch. He hugged it to himself. Averted his eyes. Became lost in thought as he pondered how much to tell her.

Then, since she didn’t speak. Didn’t ask him any questions, he knew she wanted to know more and was giving him space to figure out how to say it all.

For a brief moment he considered glossing over that whole part of the weekend. But he knew that it was for the best if he told her all of it.

“We saw her later that night, when we met all of his old friends. It was at her parents’ cabin? Down by a lake. Beautiful scenery. We were outdoors the whole night, which was very uncomfortable. I had several bug bites that I’m still dealing with. But, honestly? That was the least difficult part of the whole evening…the…bugs.”

He paused again. He rested his chin on his hand as he hugged the pillow. He looked up at her and said confidently, “He was very attentive… to me. All night, really. More than I anticipated? It was… nice. He seemed to have a hand on me most of the time he was near me. He kissed me… on the cheek… if he left me for any amount of time.”

…

“No. He is. All the time. At the store or when we’re out and about. He does touch me. Often. It’s very sweet, really, and I like it. I particularly like it when he puts his hand on my lower back? And walks… like… just a half step behind me. It feels… very protective. Gentlemanly.”

“Anyway,” David waved a hand in front of himself as if to clear his thoughts of where he was going, “I suppose I… I thought he might not touch me?… or at least maybe not quite so much… in front of them? That’s why I said that. That’s what I meant when I said I didn’t anticipate it.”

…

“He did. He left me when he went to play some baseball catch with his friend. And, later, he went into the cabin to talk with her.”

…

“Yes. I think he did. I’m going to choose to trust that he told me everything, anyway. I suppose I don’t know for sure. But since he told me some very upsetting things, I would imagine he didn’t leave anything out.”

…

“Some of it was what his friends thought about why he left there and moved here. None of that matters, I think. At least not worth my time discussing here. Probably the thing that is worth discussing here… is that she asked him to come back. Asked him to leave here and go back and live… _with her_.”

…

“ _Right_? Like he’s just going to stop being in our relationship? Who does that?”

…

“I asked him that, actually. He immediately responded that he thought it was a ridiculous notion.”

…

“I know. I see the irony. It wasn’t lost on me. You’re right. It is… it is my fear. Or, rather, it _was_ my fear? I don’t think that anymore. I’ve almost not thought about it in a long time.”

He was quiet for a moment.

“Until just now… I hadn’t really thought about how long it’s been since I’ve worried he was going to leave me. I mean… The other weekend before he came out to his parents? I worried he’d run, but not… that wasn’t a worry that he’d leave me. I just worried he’d run away from the difficult conversation.”

He paused.

David paused before added, “And when I was faced with it? When I learned she’d asked him? I… well, I was angry of course. But I didn’t panic over it. I didn’t worry that he’d take her up on it.”

David was quiet. He pondered not bringing it up. But he’d committed. Committed to telling her as much as he could to ensure that he was doing what he needed to do to heal.

“We… uh… we had a big conversation.” David took a breath before adding, “I am choosing to not call it a fight? Because we weren’t really arguing. But…”

David took a breath. Changed how he sat. Untucked his legs. Put both feet on the floor. Took a drink of his water. Sat forward on the couch. Perched on the edge.

“I created a boundary that I felt was important for the future of our relationship? Based off the things he’s kept from me.”

…

“Yes… I reminded him that he kept his past with her a secret until she showed up that one day. And then I did it... I talked to him about keeping it from me that he wasn’t out to his parents.”

…

“The boundary? Well… I just told him that he did that twice and if he did it again, I would not tolerate it.”

…

“…Meaning… it would be the end of our relationship.”

…

“Yes. I did intend to say that. And I meant it. And I think… if I’m being truly honest? Because I think if I didn’t…. um… what would you call it? Draw a line in the sand? If I didn’t do that? He’d think what he did was excusable. And he’d do it again.”

…

“Well,… I think if he were here… he’d say he did it to protect me. To keep me from being upset. But we all know that’s an excuse. He did it to make it easier on himself. As much as he charges toward danger to protect me? I think he hides from difficult conversations so he doesn’t have to deal.”

…

“No,” David shook his head. “I mean, he really talked it through. I believe he completely understood what I said. I … I can’t believe I’m saying this…” David chuckled. “I trust him. I trust him when he says he’ll never do that again. But I think he said that… he means that… because he believes me when I say that I will be out if he does it again.”

“I think that because….”

He thought for a moment.

“Oh m’god.” As the thought hit him, he more than surprised himself.

“He… he doesn’t want to lose me as much as I don’t want to lose him.” David told her.

Then they sat in silence for a moment. David’s eyes trailed over the painting on the wall to his left. Made no attempt to hide the fact that he was pondering his last words.

And then she spoke.

“Right. Yes. I do. I trust him.” David whispered.

…

“Yes. Completely.” David nodded. His voice was soft.

…

He was quiet while he pondered her question.

“Ohhh, I think you know what it means. I think _we both_ know what it means.” He said.

…

He nodded his head. “I think so. I think I’m ready.” David paused. Then looked her in the eye. “No. I _know_ I’m ready. This time… I mean it. I’m ready.”

“But…” David looked at her. “What do I do if I have a panic attack. Like I did when the condom broke?”

…  
“Yes. Yes. I can do that.”

…

“Sure,” David nodded. “If I asked him to, he’d do that. He… I mean… I know we don’t really talk sex in here?…”

…  
“OK. Well, we’re versatile, but I think if we’re both honest, we prefer him… taking charge. So that request is not out of the realm of normal. He would… go first.”

…

“Absolutely. If I asked him to…no, I take that back. I won’t have to ask him. He’ll do that naturally. He’ll take care of it. Make sure I’m safe and comfortable. He’ll just do that.”

…

“You’re right. You’re right. There’s no need to worry.”

“Honestly? There never has been. It’s not like _he’s_ changed. _He’s_ not the one who’s… I mean… that man is the same man today as he was on the day I met him.”

“Ok, Barring the whole not telling me about Rachel and not telling me he was in the fucking closet.” David shrugged and rolled his eyes.

His mind wandered as he thought about Patrick in the early days. All wide-eyed and eager to please.

And then he thought about Patrick’s demeanor over the weekend. Casual with his family and introducing David to them. Protective of David with his friends and Rachel. OK. Maybe he’d changed some. But in a very, very good way.

David shook his head. Brought himself back to the present conversation.

“OK. Talk to me about the grounding you mentioned. I know about the grounding in the midst of a panic attack. He does, too. He’s helped me through them. But I want to do something to stop an attack _before_ it starts.”

…

“Yes. Music is… we play music often when we’re…” David made a fist with one hand and smacked the end of it with the palm of his other hand.

Then he rolled his eyes. Realizing what he’d just done. He would never, EVER, tell Patrick that he’d used his hand signal rather than utter the words “having sex.”

…

“Oh. OK. I see. So… if I know the song and I feel like a panic attack is coming, I can… right. OK. Focus on it… on the words… OK. I can do that.” David nodded.

…

“And…sss….so what if the song doesn’t work. What if my mind still wanders?” He asked. Leaning forward with interest.

…

“Oh yes. I can do that.” David nodded.

She talked him through what he might do if the music failed him. If his brain became too preoccupied and listening for words became too much.

“Good. OK. That’s very helpful. Thank you.” David took a long drink of his water. Emptied the glass.

…

“Yes. There is. There’s another thing I want to say here. Say out loud. Get it out of my brain.”

…

“Yes, I see the time. I am not asking to talk about it in depth. I just want to say it out loud to you. I want to hear myself say it. I need to say it.”

He knew the rule. You don’t drop bombs on the therapist 5 minutes before the end of session. But he needed to. He couldn’t help himself. After the weekend he’d had, he needed to tell her before he left her office.

…

He took a deep breath. He slowly exhaled.

He picked up his phone and gripped it tightly in his hands.

Then the words rushed out of him as he stared her directly in the eyes.

He leaned forward, determined to say it all.

“I have decided I want to spend the rest of my life with him. There’s no other way I want to walk through life. I want him… I need him by my side. And this weekend?… it cemented that for me. Not just the way he handled Rachel… and not just the fact that I feel like his parents are just _fucking amazing_?… but just everything. I… uh… I thought about it… _all…_ on the road trip home?… and I want that. And… so… maybe after this thing?… after going without a condom?… then maybe that is the next thing you and I discuss…. Because I’m going to need to find a way to let him know that.”

…

David smiled. A large, bright, toothy smile. “Yeah. It is. It’s big and I’m… yes, I’m confident in it. In us.”

“And… I’m sorry. I know you told me not to drop the biggest detail with only five minutes left in a session. I know that’s not… OK. So…Thank you… for letting me say it.”

…

David scooted to the edge of his seat. “Thank you. Yes. A long way. I mean… when I think about how my anxiety over trusting him with it all was… that was the whole reason I came in here in the first place. So… thank you… for helping me…”

“I know. I know. I know I did the work. I get that. But you… Yes OK. But you… Seriously, just let me say it, please? You are a major reason that I am able to see this successful step. So… thank you. Yes, OK. I know. It’s _all me_.” David rolled his eyes at her refusal to take any of the accolades for his success.  
  
He stood. Smiled. And left her office, confident in knowing that he was going to make a major step, in one way or another, very soon.

++++++

Before he left Elmdale, he stopped by the Dairy Barn for his regular post-therapy treat of a cone with sprinkles. Over the previous weeks as he sat in the parking lot and ate his cone, he’d watched with interest the changes that took place in the storefront across the street. Someone was putting in a new boutique.

He was excited to see that it had opened, and he was curious to know what kind of items they carried. After he finished his cone, he walked across the street to check it out.

He was more than pleasantly surprised to see that it was a men’s shop. A clothier of sorts. Moderately priced items that were not necessarily to his taste, but it was certainly a place where Patrick would find some things. Suits, slacks, some nice shirts.

He perused the dress shirts and noticed a few that he would like to see on Patrick. He found a nice sweater that was of a green hue. He wondered if Patrick would ever consider adding some green into his wardrobe. He loved his Patrick in blue… but green would look very nice against his skin.

He found a nice quality button up shirt. Looked for it in Patrick’s size. It would be a nice gift. They were, after all, on the verge of having their very first anniversary of having met one another. He assumed Patrick would be surprising him with that special day. He wanted to be ready with a gift. The shirt would do.

As he walked around the store, he noticed the shopkeeper. A man who stood two or three inches taller than David. He had Piercing blue eyes and sandy-blonde hair. A man in his late 30s or early 40s. Tall and thin. Chiseled, clean-shaven jaw. Smooth, beautiful skin.

David had seen him before, but couldn’t quite place where. Maybe he’d been at the Apothecary.

David looked through the jeans. A few that might look nice on Patrick. But he had trouble imagining him in anything other than his Levi’s. David liked him in those Levi’s.

When he wasn’t looking, David let his eyes trail over the back of the shopkeeper. His eyes lingered on his ass. He liked the way his slacks draped over the slight, toned, roundness of him. David’s cock twitched. He felt a tug in the base of his abdomen. He loved a good ass on a man.

David moved to the personal care section of the little shop and was very pleased to find some nice cologne. Not the higher end stuff he’d always loved, but it was a good quality. They also had some options for scented moisturizer.

The salesman asked if there was anything he could do for him as his eyes raked over David. His eyes lingering first on David’s lower body, then his chest, then his mouth, and then finally settling on his eyes.

David smiled. He raised an eye brow. His tongue slowly touched the middle of his upper lip before he realized what he was doing and he pulled it back in.

“Yes…” David said. He placed the shirt he wanted to buy for Patrick on the counter. “This is a gift, so if you could wrap it, that would be nice.”

“Absolutely. Do you… see anything else that interests you?” The man asked. His voice clearly indicating that he knew David had been checking him out.

“Mmmm.” David made a brief noise and then coughed as he gathered himself. “What can you tell me about this body moisturizer over here?”

++++++

He couldn’t sit still.

He went outside to pace, because he was tired of looking at the walls of his room.

Everyone was gone. His mother and Alexis were at rehearsal. His Dad was down in the office covering the front desk because Stevie was also at rehearsal.

He wandered around the grounds. Walked back behind the motel and then walked the perimeter of the parking lot.

He thought about Patrick. Thought about them going condomless.

Then, he thought about… _god_ … the possibility of them getting engaged.

He could easily live with Patrick. But he knew Patrick. There was no way Patrick would commit to… _forever_ … without it being tied to marriage.

He had never once been in a relationship where he’d even entertained the notion. But,…the more he thought about it? The more it seemed like a logical next step for them. Something he could easily see them doing.

Should he propose to Patrick? … _Absolutely not_.

Though he’d never entertained the thought with anyone he’d dated…ever…, he wasn’t without fantasy.

Ever since he was young, he’d fantasized about it. Thought about his knight in shining armor climbing off his trusty steed and dropping to one knee. Thought about his Hugh Grant sliding off the park bench and kneeling in front of him. Imagined at the end of every romcom he’d ever watched that the dashing… or brave… or handsome man who knelt before the love of his life was kneeling in front of him.

And though he’d never really ever thought of himself as one who would get… married?... he did always long to have that declaration of love meant for only him.

And… for the first time in his life… he could see it happening. He realized he wanted it to happen. And not just to have the moment of the proposal. But to have a … _god help him_ … a lifetime of promises and world of dreams.  
  
He rolled his eyes at the utter ridiculousness of it. Even he was not that silly to have such an incredibly quixotic thought.

“David!” his dad calling to him pulled him from his musing.

He trudged across the parking lot toward the office.

++++++

He sat on the end of his bed watching television. If you were to ask him what he was viewing, he’d not be able to tell you. Something with a laugh track, which he found remarkably pedestrian. He was not sure why anyone used those any longer. The show’s creators must think very little of their viewing audience to add those. Really, the creators of these shows should challenge themselves to think much more of their viewers and not talk down to them. But… who was he to say?

He took the last bit of the cinnamon roll his dad had given him. Well… his dad had asked him to take the box of the remaining rolls to the dumpster. There were three left and they were two days old. His dad said they were stale and the motel was empty of guests, so there was no reason to keep them around.

David took one look in the box and took them into his room. He nuked them, one at a time, for only a few seconds. Just enough to soften them. If he ate them quickly, he could enjoy the warm softness before they became hard. He ate them, one after the other, while he absently stared at the program on the television.

He looked at the time on his phone. Patrick would be at rehearsal for another couple of hours. He really didn’t relish the thought of being alone in his bed. After the weekend they’d had, it felt wrong to be apart from him.

Then, David thought about his plans of telling Patrick that he was ready to have sex without a condom. Ready to take their relationship to that next step. A step he’d never been to with a partner before.

His body responded as he thought about Patrick. How excited Patrick would be. How David knew to the depths of his soul that Patrick would honor what it meant. Would be cautious and take care of him.

A wave of something washed through him. If pressed, he couldn’t tell you what it was. It was just… it was a feeling. A feeling of hope mixed with a feeling of excitement.

He stood, suddenly. The box that had been sitting on his lap fell to the floor. Crumbs tumbled out onto the floor.

_Shit. Fuck._

He left the room and went down to the room at the end of the motel. The one where he stored his clothing and where Stevie stored the small vacuum. He took it back to his room to clean up the crumbs. He ran it over the crumbs to clean them up and then eyed the rest of the room. Sighed. Ran the vacuum across the rest of the room.

While he vacuumed, he thought about Patrick. Thought about therapy. Thought about… well… honestly? He thought about fucking. He thought about the ground rules that Patrick had drawn out for them some time ago when David would try to talk to Patrick about it while they were having sex and Patrick kept turning him down. Finally, Patrick had told him that if they were ever going to do it, David had to bring it up when they weren’t in bed together. And when he told him he was ready, he had to be fully clothed and very specific about what he wanted.

As he passed the doorway to his parent’s space he looked in and rolled his eyes. He unplugged the vacuum and pushed it into their room where he plugged it in and cleaned their worn carpeting as well.

He was ready to tell Patrick. Before they were together next, he’d tell him that he was ready. Maybe he’d tell him at the store? Or… maybe they could go on a picnic and he could…

David unplugged the vacuum. Wound the cord around the holder on its handle.

 _Why am I waiting?_ He thought, not for the first time.

_Why is it my responsibility to be here in this room while Alexis is with her boyfriend? What could I do for Mom that isn’t completely the responsibility of Dad? Or… god knows… her own responsibility?_

He wheeled the vacuum down to the storage room. He returned to his room. Closed the door behind himself and leaned back against the door. His eyes traveled around the room. Settled on his bed.

 _I’m not staying here tonight._ He thought to himself. _I want to be with him tonight._

After all. When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

He leaned over and rifled through his drawers. Found a cozy pair of pants that he could sleep in if he wanted. And took the time to go through his sweatshirts to find the right one. He pulled out his Acne Studios Campus Heart sweatshirt. Underwear. Socks. He grabbed his phone and his black bag with the supplies he’d need before he headed to the bathroom to make himself pretty.

He stood at the sink and scrolled through the list to the song he’d started listening to while he was in Elmdale. [The song he listened to on a loop the entire way home](https://youtu.be/3IUfGfOK3z0). And he played it, again, on a loop while he prepared his body for Patrick. While he showered for Patrick. And while he slathered on his new leather-scented body moisturizer… for Patrick.

++++++

He tapped on the door with his knuckles.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

He waited. Patrick didn’t come to the door.

He wondered if Patrick was asleep.

He unlocked the apartment door. “Patrick?” He asked into the dark room while his eyes adjusted.

The light from the bathroom shined under the closed door.

“Patrick?” He said louder.

Patrick didn’t respond.

He walked toward the bathroom. He knew if Patrick didn’t hear him, he’d scare him. He stopped beside the couch and waited.

“Patrick?” He said again, and assumed that Patrick either was wearing his earbuds with blasting music… or he was lost in thought.

And knowing Patrick, he was just lost in his own thoughts.

As the bathroom door opened and the light turned out, David took a step and quietly said, “I don’t want to scare you.”

And just as he had the last time David scared him, Patrick lunged toward him. “What the hell?” He said gruffly.

David screamed, turned, and ran toward the door. Hunched over with his hands protecting his head as he went. “Patrick. It’s me! It’s me!”

He hunched near the table until he heard Patrick say,” David? What are you doing?”

He knew he should have texted. He should have called him. Something.

David’s heart raced in his chest. Beat loudly as the flow of adrenaline rushed through his body.

He stood up, adjusted his sweatshirt. “I just… I want to…” He struggled to catch his breath. He sat down at the table. “I need to talk to you.”

He needed to tell him. He was ready.

If he were being honest, he’d hoped he’d find Patrick in bed and he’d enter the apartment and sit next to him on the side of the bed. Whisper into his ear exactly why he was there, and then they’d do it.

He wasn’t sure at all how he was going to find the words in the moment he’d found himself in. After having just been chased across the apartment by Patrick in protective mode.

Patrick stood near the table. Hands on his waist. His eyes shifted. Looked around the dark room. “OK.”

“Sorry I startled you,” David told him.

“It’s OK.” Patrick moved to turn on the lights. “Why didn’t you turn on the…”

“No. Leave them off?” David requested.

There was a faint glow from the streetlight which, coupled with the nearly full moon outside, faintly illuminated the apartment. A golden light glowed across Patrick’s face. Across his bare chest.

David’s eyes lingered on his chest.

“K,” Patrick said. He moved to stand near David. Hands on his waist.

Patrick waited. Patiently.

_Patient Patrick._

David lowered his head. His hands in his lap. He didn’t know what to say or how to start. Everything he’d thought about earlier in the evening vanished. His mind was blank.

“David?” Patrick moved the other chair so it was closer to David. He sat down. Faced him. “You’re scaring me.”

David raised his chin. Looked at Patrick. _Sweet Patrick._

His eyes had difficulty landing for long. They moved around Patrick’s face, and off to the side, then back to Patrick.

He knew what he was going to ask for was the right thing. Or, at least he thought it was.

_I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you. And If I’m going to do that, there’s no real reason to have a condom between us._

But he couldn’t utter the words. If he did, they’d be out there. And he’d not be able to take them back. And if Patrick wasn’t ready for the part about the rest of their lives… well… David wasn’t prepared to risk being that vulnerable.

“David.” Patrick placed one hand on each of David’s shoulders. He didn’t exactly shake him. “Did something bad happen?”

“No. No. I’m sorry.” David shook his head. His voice soft and breathy.

_The rest of our lives._

A kaleidoscope of butterflies went off in his belly.

_Don’t think about that part right now. One thing at a time. One thing. The condom issue. Focus, David. Focus._

“What do you need to talk about?” Patrick’s asked him.

David placed his hand on the table. He had been grasping his phone in his hand. He loosened his grip and set the phone on the table. His attention on his phone.

 _Use music to ground you._ She said. _Focus on the sound of the singer’s voice. Or on a particular phrase of a song. Connect it to something you trust. Or choose a song that connects you to safety._

He opened his phone and scrolled through it to find the song he’d been listening to all day. All evening.

He could feel Patrick watching him.

“Did someone call… or text you?” Patrick asked him.

He realized he was worrying Patrick. He wanted Patrick to just give him a moment. A moment to collect his thoughts.

David shook his head. “No.” He whispered.

“Did… something happen at therapy today?” Patrick asked with furrowed brow. _Worried. So worried._

“No,” David said. Then realizing that was not an accurate statement and wanting to be as completely truthful with Patrick as he could be, he added, “Yeah… maybe. Yes.”

Patrick sat back in his chair. Folded his hands in his lap.

 _There. Now. Yes, he’s waiting for me now. He’s giving me what I need. He knows me. He knows what I need._ David thought.

 _I can do this_. He thought. _I can. Just say it._

“I know I wasn’t supposed to be here tonight,” David said. “I just…”

“It’s fine. I’m glad you’re here.” Patrick’s hand squeezed David’s knee.

_Start with the song. We always do well when we start with music._

“I need something from you.” David looked at him.

“OK? Whatever you need.” Patrick agreed readily.

David knew that Patrick would agree without knowing what the request was. He was Patrick. Patrick always readily agreed to anything for David. Whatever David wanted. _Always_.

David touched the screen on his phone.

[As the breathy sounds of the counting down began](https://youtu.be/3IUfGfOK3z0), Patrick looked at the phone and then at David.

“I’m going to need you to learn this song. Play it for me.” David’s voice was quiet. He looked at Patrick as he pointed at his phone.

David watched Patrick nod. Watched him listen to the initial notes of the tune.

Patrick breathed in quickly. Then said, “OK.” He stood and pointed with his thumb over his shoulder and seriously asked, “You mean now?”

David looked up at him and let out a little laugh on his exhale, “No. I don’t mean now.”

_He is literally the sweetest man on earth._

David stood. Took a step toward him so he was directly in front of Patrick. His eyes moved quickly from Patrick’s eyes to his mouth and back to his eyes. “But soon. I want to hear your voice sing these words… to me.”

“You got it. Sure.” Patrick said with zero hesitation.

Then, suddenly, his insecurities swept through him again. He thought he had let them all go. Thought the weekend had helped him release them. But there it was, again. Nagging at the back of his brain.

He had to ask. “Did… um… did you ever sing it to her?” He was embarrassed for asking. But he needed to know before they proceeded.

Patrick shook his head, “No.” Made no move to chastise David for asking.

David nodded. _Good_ , He thought.

“Do you know the song?” David asked him. Honestly thinking if he knew the song then, yes, he could sing it to him right that moment.

“Yeah. I’ve heard it. It’s been a while,” Patrick’s hands were settled on David’s waist as he looked up at him. “I can learn it. I’ll play it for you.”

“Thank you,” David smiled at the sweetness.

Patrick shrugged. “Is… is that… David, is that why you came here? It’s midnight.”

 _Shit. Maybe, I should have waited. It’s so late_. He thought.

“No,” David whispered. His hands moved to Patrick’s bare shoulders. His fingertips lightly squeezed each of Patrick’s shoulders. His eyes moved from Patrick’s shoulders. To his eyes. To his mouth.

Patrick waited. David wasn’t sure what to say. Or, rather, he wasn’t sure how to start.

“David…”

David cut him off. “Dance with me?” 

Patrick tilted his head to the side. “Want me to get dressed?” He asked.

David shook his head, raised an eyebrow, and whispered, “No.”

 _My goal is to get you undressed, Mr. Brewer._ David kept his thought to himself.

Patrick adjusted the towel; tucked it in tighter. Returned his hands to David’s waist. Moved closer to him, into David’s embrace.

Patrick was barefoot. David wore his Ugg boots. So, Patrick was even shorter against David than he typically would be.

As David pulled him in and Patrick’s bare chest pressed against David’s sweatshirt, he felt the heat emanating from Patrick. Patrick rested his head against David’s shoulder. Pressed his forehead to the curve of David’s neck. David loved having Patrick rest against his body like that.

David moved one of his hands to cradle the back of Patrick’s head. He softly and slowly pet Patrick’s head the way he liked to do when he wanted to wordlessly ask for Patrick to soothe him. His other hand pressed to Patrick’s back between his shoulders and moved in small circles.

He breathed out a sigh as he felt Patrick’s hand move to touch him. To soothe him. He began to relax as Patrick held him tightly.

They swayed to the slow groove of the song. David thought through the words again, as he had all evening. He smiled as he felt Patrick turn into him and kiss him, slowly and tenderly, on his neck. 

“Remember…?” David started to speak and then stopped. Cleared his throat. “Remember the first night? In the office?”

The whole reason this song was on his play list was because of that night.

“What about it?” Patrick asked.

David took a moment before he spoke. “You asked me to kiss you. I did. Then you asked me to…”

Patrick interrupted him and looked up at him. “Kiss me like…”

David interrupted him. “You were in love with me then,” he said, knowingly. “That early.”

“I was,” Patrick moved his right hand. Moved it to David’s chest. Slid it up his chest. Up to his cheek. His thumb brushed the stubble on David’s cheek. His eyes settled on David’s lips. “I’ve loved you from the beginning.”

 _I don’t know why._ David thought to himself. _But I’m so thankful that you did._

David leaned into him and their lips touched. Tender. Slow.

David knew what he liked. Knew what he wanted.

As Patrick’s head tilted back, he opened his mouth for David. Asking for David to kiss him the way he wanted. The way David’s kissed him that night. That first night that they made out in the office after work. David’s tongue taking ownership of Patrick’s mouth with one move. Delving deeply into his mouth and then sliding out. Then back in again.

David wished that Patrick would take control. Wished he’d push David against the wall. Take him. But he knew Patrick wouldn’t, because Patrick knew him well enough to know that something was up. Knew that David was there for a reason. David knew that Patrick was trying to figure it out.

He felt Patrick’s body still in his arms.

In response, David’s arms tightened around Patrick. They stopped swaying. Stopped dancing.

They just… held each other and kissed.

Patrick’s hand moved to hold David’s head from the nape of his neck. Encouraged him to continue the slow possession. His hand that was on David’s back splayed against David’s skin. Moved further up his back. Pressing him closer. Closer.

David knew what it did for Patrick. Kissing him like that. He knew it was like turning on a light switch inside him. From that first passionate kiss in the office. David’s knew that his kiss always had that effect on him. And David liked the feeling he had inside when he knew Patrick craved him.

Before long, Patrick lost a bit of his self-control. His tongue dueled with David’s for control. His tongue was in David. Slowly but surely taking ownership of David’s mouth.

Patrick pulled back. David looked down at him.

David’s hands, stilled on Patrick’s back. He wanted Patrick to stay close. He didn’t want him to pull back further.

The first thing he thought of to say was, “It also has neck kisses. This song.”

He wanted to say, _please don’t stop. Please. I want you. For the rest of my life, I want you._

Patrick breathed out a sound. Not quite a laugh. “It does.” He looked at David. Cupped his face with his hand. His thumb rubbed gently against David’s chin.

“I like the neck kisses you give me,” David told him.

_I love everything you do for me. Everything._

Patrick kissed him again. There on the curve of his neck. “Sometimes it’s the easiest place to reach.” Patrick told him.

He rested his forehead, again, on the curve of David’s neck. Like he did the first time they danced. His hands moved to David’s back. Both hands under David’s sweater. One hand moving to tuck into the back waistband of David’s pants. The other hand moving on the skin in the middle of his back.

“Does it bother you? That you’re shorter than I am?” David asked him. His arms wrapping tightly around Patrick’s shoulders. He’d always kind of wondered.

“Does it bother you that you’re taller than I am?” Patrick asked him.

 _Not what I asked you, Mr. Brewer_ , David thought.

Then Patrick said, “I have always liked that I’m shorter than you. I can’t explain it. I just do.”

“Mmm.” David made only a sound. Held Patrick tightly.

“Does it bother _you_ that I’m shorter?” Patrick asked him.

David tilted his head. Gave Patrick more room for the kisses. “I’ve been with lots of people of different sizes. Some taller some shorter. It isn’t really something I think about.”

Patrick stopped kissing him. Took a deep breath.

_Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck._

“I didn’t mean…” David started to talk. Then stopped. There was no taking that statement back. He hoped it didn’t derail them.

“It’s OK.” Patrick pulled slightly back. Stopped moving to the music.

“No. No. I didn’t… I meant… You’ve only really been with her. And she’s so petite. And you’re such a… _protector_. I just…”

_Stop talking. Just stop fucking talking._

“David,” Patrick looked up at him. “Are you OK?”

“Mmm. Yes. I didn’t mean to bring up everyone from before.” David’s eyes skidded off to the side. Avoided eye contact.

“It’s OK. They’re all there. I know it. You know it. They’re a part of us.” Patrick pulled him close.

This wasn’t the first time Patrick had told him that, but it was a shift that was relatively recent. He was glad Patrick was starting to verbalize an understanding that both of them had a past. And each of their pasts brought them to the moment of their meeting.

By Patrick framing it the way he did, he helped David realize he didn’t have to pretend his past didn’t happen.

Patrick kissed him again. There on his neck. As they began to sway, again, to the music.

“And for the record?” David heard him say quietly into his ear, “I can protect someone who is taller than me.”

And David thought, _Fuck, yes you can, Mr. Brewer. Yes. You. Can._

David breathed. Deep inhale. Slow exhale.

One of David’s hands moved down to Patrick’s ass. His hand moving back and forth over the damp towel. Feeling Patrick’s ample, firm ass. He loved that ass.

The song had started over. At that point, David barely noticed. He’d listened to the song on a loop since leaving Elmdale. The song had spoken to him and he couldn’t stop. The beat of it, the notes, the voice. So close to listening to his Patrick singing to him.

“Babe. What else do you need to tell me?” Patrick asked.

Of course, he knew there was something. David wasn’t quite ready to say.

_How do you say it, anyway? I’ve decided I want to spend the rest of my life with you._

“This weekend...” David said quietly, trying to find the words to start.

They continued to sway. Patrick’s hands never stopped moving. Comforting him. Encouraging him to let it out. David’s body relaxed the more Patrick’s hands moved over him.

“Yeah.” Patrick said quietly.

“It was so lovely, Patrick. It really was… I just... I really like your family… your parents.” David told him. The hand that was around Patrick’s shoulder moved to cup the back of Patrick’s head, again. He pet Patrick’s head, again.

“They like you, too, David.” Patrick told him.

David smiled when he heard it.

David didn’t often spend a lot of time worried about what people thought of him. At least he hadn’t since he’d moved to Schitt’s Creek. But he was happy to learn that Patrick’s parents liked him. Very happy.

They continued to sway. Quietly holding one another. Hands moving over each other. Caressing skin.

Patrick kissed his neck again. Stretched up a bit. Kissed his jaw. That place near his ear that David liked.

David turned in toward Patrick. His lips brushed against Patrick’s cheek. 

Their lips met again. A warm kiss. Patrick pulled David’s lower lip into his mouth. A gentle sucking on it before he licked into David’s mouth again.

In. And out. In again. David opened wider for him.

_Take me, Patrick. Please._

They stopped swaying. The kiss intensified. The fingers of Patrick’s left hand dug into the flesh on David’s ass. He squeezed him. Pressed David forward.

_Yes. Like that._

Patrick rocked his hips forward. Pressed his erection against David’s hip. The movement caused a surge through David’s cock. _God_ it felt good. So good. Patrick could always make him feel that way.

He was ready. He needed him. And he knew how he wanted him. If they were going to do this… go without a condom for their first time… He knew he wanted Patrick to be gentle. Soft.

David pulled back. Looked down at Patrick. Pressed his forehead to Patrick’s.

“Make love to me?” David asked him. He knew what kind of response he’d receive, and Patrick did not disappoint.

Patrick’s eyes closed. A slight smile curved his lips.

“Yeah, Babe.” Patrick pulled him close. “Whatever you want.” He kissed him again, there on his neck.

 _It’s time,_ David thought. _Time to tell him._

“I’m ready, Patrick.” David whispered in his ear.

“OK,” Patrick nodded. He pulled back. Held on to David’s hand and started to walk toward the bed.

David didn’t move with him. David remembered the ground rules that they’d set earlier. First, David had to tell him when they were not in bed. Not in the middle of having sex. The decision had to be clearly stated when they were clothed and not mid-act. And, David had to state it clearly. No ambiguity.

As Patrick took a step and David didn’t move with him, he turned back to him. Looked at him.

“David?” Patrick asked him. Searching his face, not understanding.

David said, again, “I’m ready.”

“OK.” Patrick shrugged. Nodded toward the bed.

“Patrick.” David said on a quiet whisper.

Patrick looked at David. Furrowed his brows.

David shook his head. Closed his eyes for a brief moment before reaching his other hand to Patrick. Holding Patrick’s hand in both of his own.

_Just tell him. Just tell him._

His voice was barely above a whisper; he bent his knees as he spoke. “No… barriers. Just us. I’m ready.”

David saw it dawn on Patrick. Watched his face react to the words David said. Took a moment to delight in the way Patrick’s eyes widened.

“No condom?” Patrick asked.

“No.” David said. “I mean… yes.”

Patrick stood still. “No condom.” Patrick clarified.

“That’s correct,” David nodded.

“Sure?” Patrick asked.

Without hesitation, David nodded. And with a strong, sure voice he said, “Yes.”

He knew Patrick must have a million questions, but he also knew that Patrick would wait to ask them. David was sure that they’d talk all the way through it later. Patrick would insist on it. But they wouldn’t do it in that moment. He knew that Patrick understood that if they did, there was no way they’d proceed. The mood would be… gone.

 _I trust you, Patrick. I’m there. I trust you._ David thought the words but couldn’t bring himself to say them out loud. 

“OK,” Patrick nodded. His face serious, and slightly flushed. “You want… anything first? Drink or… bathroom… or…a sss…a snack??” Patrick suddenly appeared uncomfortable. Like they were on their first date all over again.

_Ohmygod, I love you. You sweet, precious man._

“No.” A slight smile flashed across David’s face. He shook his head. Still held Patrick’s hand in both of his.

Patrick moved his head. Tilted it toward the bed. “You want to…?”

David nodded. “Yes.” His voice was high as his breath caught in his chest.

Patrick moved first. His hand out, slightly behind him as David held it.

David took one step and then another as he walked behind Patrick toward the bed, still holding Patrick’s hand in both of his.

They stood together on David’s side of the bed. David let go of his hand. David began to worry the rings on his right hand. Looked Patrick in the eyes.

_Why am I so nervous? This is ridiculous. I can trust him. He’ll take care of me._

And then David knew he had to say the words. He dug deep within himself and whispered, “Take care of me, Patrick?”

Patrick pressed his lips together. The corners of his mouth pulled back. That smile he gave when he was moved. Pleased.  
  
Patrick nodded. “No safe word tonight. If you want it to stop, you say so. If you change your mind, you say so. If you can’t find words and you push me away, I’ll back off.”

David nodded. _Of course, he’ll take care of me. Of course he will._

“I need to hear that you understand what I’m saying right now.” Patrick said.

“If I say stop, we stop.” David said.

“Even if I’m already in. If you don’t want me to finish… you say so. I’ll pull out.” Patrick told him.

David knew what he was doing. Knew that Patrick was letting David know that David controlled the situation. Patrick would listen to him.

“I understand.” David nodded.

“Sit.” Patrick told him as he gently pressed on David’s shoulder. Encouraging him to sit on the side of the bed.

Patrick removed the towel from around his waist and tossed it onto the chest at the end of the bed. David watched him as he knelt on one knee in front of him. As he looked up at David with those big brown eyes.

 _My god I love him. I trust him. He trusts me._ David thought.

David looked down at him. Looked at him kneeling there like that. And for the first time in his life, David wished that he was about to experience a proposal. Wished that Patrick would just ask him so that David didn’t have to figure out if he needed to do it.

Patrick picked up one of David’s feet. Removed his boot and his sock. He ran his thumb down the arch of David’s foot. A strong squeeze that David loved. He pulled off his other boot and sock. Another squeeze to his foot.

David began to think about what they were about to do. His mind began to wander. Back to that night. That night that their condom broke and he had a massive panic attack.

In that moment, he worried that he’d have another one. He worried he wouldn’t stay calm and present. His heart began to beat louder in his chest.

He remembered the song. Remembered why he’d started listening to it to begin with, after she had recommend he focus on something, like a song. But he left his phone over on the table and the music wasn’t as loud as he needed it to be for him to focus on it.

Breathing became difficult.

David pressed his hands to the mattress on each side of himself and looked down at Patrick. “I changed my mind.”

Patrick stood. Nodded. Reached for his towel and wrapped it around himself. “OK.” Stood back. Hands on hips.

David realized Patrick thought he meant that he didn’t want to go through with it.

“No, No.” David stood and walked briskly to the table. The wood floor was cold on his feet. “I mean I did need something. I want my phone near me. I want to hear this song while we…” He held his phone up so Patrick could see what he was doing.

Patrick exhaled the breath he’d been holding. “K.” He nodded. Hands on his hips. Eyes on David.

David set his phone near the bed. Adjusted the volume.  
  
“Will it bother you if I play this song?” David asked him. Knowing to his core that Patrick would let him listen to anything he wanted in that moment.

“No, Babe. Whatever you want.” Patrick told him.

David stood in front of him. “Do you maybe need to get the lube? So… we don’t have to stop when…”

While David spoke, Patrick walked away from him. Walked to his own side of the bed to get supplies from the drawer.

David watched him. Was a little perplexed when he saw Patrick reach for a condom.

“Patrick?” David wasn’t sure he wanted to ask the question.

As Patrick stepped near him, as he set the lube and condom on the bedside table near David’s phone, he said calmly, “Just in case you change your mind. Because it will all be fine if you change your mind.”

Patrick stood in front of him. Hands on his waist. Nodding seriously. The way he did when he told him that he thought he would need more startup money.

David’s heart swelled, because he knew what Patrick was doing. He was doing his best to take the pressure off. Make it all seem like a casual thing. Just another night of the two of them being intimate.

And David was relieved. So relieved. He smiled at the man he loved. Offering up a thank you to whomever controlled the universe that he and Patrick crossed paths.

He waited a moment for Patrick to make a move.

And he didn’t.

David suddenly saw it. Patrick shifting from one foot to the other. Patrick’s eyes having trouble meeting his. Patrick’s hands slightly shaking. He realized Patrick was as nervous as he was.

_Sweet man._

David knew that there was something he could do to help them take the next step. He held out his right hand to Patrick. The silent request of their ritual. Let Patrick know that he was ready.

Patrick’s eyes traveled from David’s eyes to his hand, back to his eyes. His fingers shook a little as he gently took David’s hand. David found the nervousness endearing and it helped him to know he wasn’t alone in it.

One-by-one, Patrick slid the four rings slowly off David’s fingers. He held them in the palm of his hand.

Then, he raised his hand. Brought David’s hand to his mouth.

Patrick closed his eyes as he softly kissed the back of David’s hand.

David would never tell another soul about that moment, but he would hold it with him for the rest of his life as one of the most tender moments between the two of them.

He smiled at Patrick. He felt cherished. Safe.

Patrick put the rings on the bedside table and stepped nearer. His hands rested on David’s waist. He looked up at him. Waited for David to look at him. David couldn’t do it. Not quite yet. There were a lot of emotions coursing through his veins.

“Dance with me,” Patrick’s voice was low.

David smiled again.

_Yes. We always do well when we start with a dance._

His hands gently resting on Patrick’s shoulders. They began to sway again.

“Kiss me, David.” Patrick told him what he wanted. What he needed to ensure that they started right.

With one hand on each side of Patrick’s face, David pulled him in for a kiss. Deep and hard. The kind of kiss that would do exactly what Patrick wanted and needed. David knew it would flip the switch inside of him.

Patrick’s hands slid under David’s sweater and then up David’s sides, bringing the sweater along with it. He raised his arms in the air as Patrick pushed the sweater up and over his head.

Patrick did that thing he did. That thing that David loved. He stepped back from David. Sweater in his hands. He folded the sweater. Gently placed it on the dresser near the bed.

Back in David’s arms, Patrick ran his hands over David’s chest. His fingers lightly toying first with David’s chest hair, then David’s nipples before his hands moved around him. Pulled him close. Pressed their chests together. Skin to skin.

David took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He loved when they stood, pressed together like that.

Patrick kissed his shoulder. His neck. That spot just below his ear. “I love you,” he whispered.

It all felt so good, but he was nervous. So nervous that a panic attack was going to wash over his body.

_Please let me stay calm. Please let me stay in the present._

David took another deep breath. Deep inhalation. Long, slow exhalation.

“I’ve got you, Babe,” Patrick assured him.

_Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Brewer._

Patrick tilted his head back. One hand moved to the back of David’s head. He pulled him in for another kiss. Gentle. Slow.

“Mine.” Patrick murmured against his lips.

 _Yes, yours. Forever if you will have me._ David thought to himself.

“Yes” David quietly whispered. But he couldn’t get any other words out.

Patrick moved, then. He pushed down David’s pants and his underwear. 

Patrick moved to pick them up and David tugged on his arm. Shook his head. “Leave them.”

David moved toward the bed. Pulled back the covers. “I’m ready, Patrick.”

“OK,” Patrick nodded. He took his towel off. Tossed it, again, onto the chest at the end of the bed.

David sat on the side of the bed. Patrick moved to him. David’s knees opened. Patrick stepped between them. His arms at his side. He looked down at David.

 _God,_ David loved his man’s body. From his strong legs to his broad chest with the light smattering of hair. To his muscled arms. To his thick, farmer cock.  
  
David’s hands moved first to Patrick’s waist. One hand slid up Patrick’s chest. Up over his shoulder and down his arm. David’s eyes followed the trail his hand took. When he ended with holding Patrick’s hand, he returned the gesture from earlier. Held Patrick’s hand to his lips. Brushed them against the back of Patrick’s hand.

Patrick turned his hand so that he cupped David’s cheek. Turned David’s head up. His thumb brushed along the stubble on David’s chin.

David’s hand wrapped around the base of Patrick’s cock.

Finally touching him caused a calmness to wash over David’s body. He pulled him, eagerly into his mouth. He sucked on him. Licked him. Pulled him into his mouth again. His tongue flattening against his girth. 

He loved having Patrick’s cock in his mouth. He loved knowing how much pleasure he gave him when he did it.

“Mmmmm.” Patrick made the sound deep in his chest. His hips jutted forward.

David took it as a sign to continue and so he wrapped one hand behind Patrick. Pressed on his ass. Pressed him forward and David pulled him deep into his mouth.

Patrick’s hands shifted to David’s shoulders. He gently, but firmly pushed David away. Pushed him off. Patrick told him, “Feels so good, but you gotta stop, or…”

David did as he was told. Patrick had promised to listen to him and do as he wanted that night. David was sure to do the same. He leaned back.

He had hoped that spending time with Patrick’s farmer cock would get him out of his own mind. He was drowning in a sea of worry and insecurity; and with that came a part of his body that did not want to fully cooperate with the situation.

Without Patrick’s cock in his mouth or in his hands, he wasn’t sure what to do to move forward. He looked up at Patrick.

He had but one thought swirling in his mind. A plea.

_No panic attack. Please no panic attack._

“I don’t know, Patrick,” He whispered. His eyes shifted to the side. He bit the inside of his cheek. He likely needed to call it. There likely was no way he was going to be able to move forward.

Patrick, hand brushing against David’s face, “What, Babe? You OK?”

He was so sweet. So gentle.

“I am,” David nodded. “But, I don’t know about…” David’s voice drifted off as he pointed down at a part of himself that did not seem to be interested in the goings on around him.

Definitely not an issue he typically had to deal with.

Patrick nodded. Hands on his waist. His face scrunched up, clearly pondering the situation presented by David’s lifeless dick.

He put a hand on David’s shoulder and encouraged him to move further back onto the bed. To lay back.

As he did so, he put both of his hands to his own face and made a sound of embarrassment.

_I can’t believe I came all the way over here and I’m doing this. THIS! I have seduced this man. I have taught this man. I have made his fucking toes curl. And here I am… with a lifeless dick and a head full of anxiety._

A loud sound of hands smacking together jolted David from his thoughts. The sound was quickly followed by Patrick’s voice.

“OK, listen up,” Patrick said loudly in a commanding voice. “We’ve got a situation at hand and we need everyone paying attention.”

Shocked at the brash sounds Patrick was making in the quiet, dark room, David suddenly lifted his head from the bed and looked down his body where he saw Patrick bent over, his hands on his own knees, staring at David’s lifeless dick.

Patrick, attention solely on David’s penis, continued to speak.

“We’ve got an important event that’s going to take place tonight, and it can’t happen if one of us wants to watch from the bleachers. This nonsense is not gonna fly on the field, you got that little guy?”

David’s heart swelled with love for him. He smiled at him. He chuckled. Amused that Patrick was having a conversation with his penis.

“Ummm… _little_?” David asked, humored.

Patrick stood up straight, his thick, glorious, very firm cock jutted out in front of himself proudly. He looked at David, pointed down at his own erection and said, “At this particular moment in time… yes… yours is the little guy. Can you just let me have this one?”

The casualness in his voice. The fact that he was telling David that none of this was a big deal. The ease with which he joked. All of it swirled around David like a hug.

David, eyeing Patrick’s cock, flashed a toothy grin and whispered, “Sure.”

“Now,” Patrick looked at David as he bent over again and put his hands on his own knees, “This is a very… _private_ … conversation between me and… my little buddy here. So…” Patrick waved his hand as if to shoo David away.

_Anything you say, Mr. Brewer. Anything you say._

David dropped his head back onto the bed and looked down his body at Patrick. Amused. Delighted.

And very, _very_ smitten.

“Now listen up,” Patrick smacked his hands together again. “I realize the thought of being the starting lineup in the big game is intimidating and you don’t want to get caught off base, but you’re not doing this alone. Me and this guy…? (Patrick pointed to his own dick) We got the bases covered, dude. You just have to show up with a glove and stand out in right field. I think you might even have a little fun.”

David pulled his lips into his mouth and bit down. Suppressing a grin. The stress of his worry leaving him and being replaced with a feeling of comfort as he took in the humor of the conversation Patrick was having with his penis.

Patrick moved closer to David. A hand on the mattress on each side of him. Patrick leaned over David’s dick.

“There is no I in team.” Patrick said softly before he gently kissed David’s still flaccid penis.

His heart beat loudly in his chest as he watched Patrick. _Oh, yes. That’s it, Mr. Brewer. You know just what to do._

“As the great Babe Ruth once said: _Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game_.” Patrick said quietly, his voice low and kind.

With one hand holding the base of David’s flaccid dick, he pulled David into his mouth and began to suck on him. His mouth warm and inviting. His tongue, gentle. The suction strong and satisfying. 

With special coaching, with Patrick’s tongue sliding over David’s sensitive head, with Patrick’s warm, wet mouth pulling off him and sucking him back in a few times, the MVP was among them. Growing stronger and ready to play.

David looked down his body and locked eyes with Patrick. Watched as one corner of Patrick’s mouth pulled back in that sexy, sexy grin of his.

And then… Patrick winked at him.

At that point, David knew this was going to happen.

Was he nervous? Sure. Could he still have the sudden onset of a panic attack? Maybe. But was Patrick going to do everything in his power to make this a good experience? Absolutely. Of course, he was.

David shifted. Moved to the middle of the bed. Lay on his side, one arm under himself, propping himself up. The leg under him stretched out long against the mattress. His other leg bent. Foot on the mattress. His cock far more interested than it was moments prior. The lids of his eyes heavy.

He looked at Patrick standing there by the side of the bed. The moonlight from the window cast a glow over his pale skin, which had a sight pink glow from his blushing. Erect cock standing out proudly. Hands at his sides. Eyes shining. David thought that he maybe had never seen Patrick look sexier than he did in that moment. David reached down to touch himself. Had a loose grip on his own firm cock. His thumb brushed over its head. He stroked himself as he looked at Patrick.

“I think I’m ready coach,” David murmured.

David closed his eyes at the sound. A sound that thrilled David. A sound that was somewhere between a growl and a moan that started deep in Patrick’s chest and he moved toward the bed.

“Let’s play ball.” Patrick said with a teasing grin as he took the two steps to the bed and lifted his knee to raise himself up on it.

David rolled to his back. And Patrick lay beside him. One of his legs slung over David’s legs.

Patrick, leaning on one of his elbows to hold himself up, ran a hand over David’s chest as he lowered himself to kiss David. He licked into David’s mouth. David raised his arms so they would wrap around Patrick’s neck. Pull him in.

They took their time. Their kiss lingering. Sensual.

“You smell good,” Patrick told him. His voice low.

“New lotion,” David told him.

“We don’t sell it,” Patrick pulled back and searched David’s face.

“Are we taking inventory of the store tonight, or…”

Patrick shook his head. A brief smile. “Sorry.”

“It’s OK,” David said with a smile. Their brief conversation stealing away the mood he was in. It didn’t take much for dark thoughts to ooze through the cracks. His smile faded as he looked seriously at Patrick.

“Where’d you go? What’s the matter?” Patrick asked him.

David whispered, “Scared.”

_No panic attack. Please no panic attack._

“OK,” Patrick locked eyes with him.

“I love you.” David told him. He wanted him to know any hesitancy he had was not about Patrick.

“I know you do. I don’t question it. Ever.” Patrick told him. “I love you, too.”

“I know,” David whispered.

“You still want to?” Patrick asked. “Because we don’t have to…”  
  
David interrupted him. He was sure. He knew he wanted to. If he could.

He didn’t want to move too fast. He was afraid if they moved fast, he’d panic. “I want us to do this. Just…”

“I’ll go slow. I’ll pay attention.” Patrick told him.

David nodded. Pulled Patrick down to him again. Another kiss.

David opened his mouth to Patrick who took control of it. With a gentle power that had them both wanting more. Deep. Slow.

Patrick moved his body over David. David knew he normally opened his legs and let Patrick settle in there. But he couldn’t. Not yet. He wasn’t ready yet.

Patrick straddled David’s hips. Settled himself over David.

He leaned forward, holding his body up over David. Patrick on his hands and knees over him. Eye contact still held.

David’s hands immediately went to Patrick’s arms. His fingers moved gently, tentatively over Patrick’s muscled biceps. He loved those arms.

Patrick lowered himself. Elbows on the bed. Face close to David. His lips gently kissing David’s. He moved to kiss him along the jaw. Whispering gentle words of encouragement and love into his ear.

 _Whatever you want._ Kiss. _It’s just us_. Kiss. _I love you_. Kiss. _You can trust me_. Kiss. _Stop any time you need_. Kiss. _Just tell me what you want._ Kiss.

His lips brushed against David’s again. As their kiss deepened, David stirred beneath him. His legs slowly moved. Opened for Patrick. Moved one foot to rest flat on the bed, knee in the air.

Patrick breathed out words of encouragement into David’s ear. “That’s it…we’ve got this.”

His lips never left David’s skin. He moved from David’s lips. To his jaw. To his neck. Back to his jaw. He whispered all the words that helped relax David. Helped David feel safe. Cherished. Loved.

Patrick moved, then. Moved so that his knees were between David’s. And David’s legs did what they always did. Moved out of muscle memory. Moved to his comfort zone. His knees pulled up and he hooked his feet around Patrick’s waist.

“Atta boy.” Patrick said quietly, praising him. He kissed David’s temple.

David was certain he’d not heard words like that in bed from Patrick before. His cock jerked with excitement. A chill ran down his spine.

_Ohgodyes. Yes._

David breath rushed out of him in an exhale that brought with it a low moan into Patrick’s ear.

His tone low. He wanted them to go further with it. See how much further Patrick would go. He knew if they could explore some different words, he could lose himself in them.

His voice was just above a whisper when he said into Patrick’s ear, “I’m a good boy.”

David felt Patrick’s body jolt when he said the words. He pulled back slightly and looked David in the eyes. David worked hard, struggled to meet his gaze. David’s eyes kept looking at Patrick’s mouth. He wasn’t sure what Patrick thought about what he said.

“Fuck, yes, David.” Patrick told him. Then added, “You’re _my_ good boy.”

As blood surged into David’s cock, his fingers tightened around Patrick’s arms. His nails pressed into Patrick’s flesh.

Patrick lowered himself again. This time the kiss was deep. Bruising. He pulled David’s bottom lip into his mouth. One of David’s hands trailed up his shoulder and snuck around to the back of his neck and pulled him down harder.

 _Yes. That’s it. More, Daddy. More._ The words swirled in David’s head. Certainly not the first time he’d thought them when Patrick was asserting himself.

Patrick’s hands moved under David’s arms. His hands slid between David and the mattress to press against his back, pulling him up slightly off the mattress toward Patrick who shifted so his lips were able to move slowly along David’s neck.

 _That’s it. Take me. Take me, Mr. Brewer._ It all felt so good.

He pressed his head back into his pillow as he felt Patrick’s hands glide down his body. As Patrick’s lips made that beautiful trail down David’s neck, up to his jaw, back to his ear, and down his neck again.

“David…”

“Mmmmm…?”

Patrick’s face, still buried in his neck. His hand on David’s chest. He spoke clearly. “Remember. No safe word tonight, Babe. No means no. Stop means stop. Pushing me back will push me back. I’m listening to your every word, David. You’re in control here.”

“I know, Patrick.” David exhaled quietly into Patrick’s ear. “I trust you.”

_Please stop talking about it and do it. Please, Baby._

“I’ll pull out before I come. When you’re ready for me to pull out, just tell me.” Patrick told him.

David nodded. “I know.”

David’s hand moved down Patrick’s back and cupped his ass, hoping if he touched him, Patrick would stay focused on David’s body. His eyes held Patrick’s.

 _Please, Patrick. Help me stay focused. Please._ The words were a plea in his mind that he couldn’t vocalize.

Patrick took a deep breath.

“I’ll be back, Baby. I’m just going to …” Patrick nodded his head to the side… “I’m gonna go visit you down here for a bit.”

“MmHmm.” David nodded. _Yes. Take charge. Make me feel it all._

Patrick moved. Kissed David’s lips. His cheek. And then, his voice low and breathy, said quietly into David’s ear, “Let me taste you.”

David’s heart raced. He needed more. He needed Patrick to help his brain stay with them.

He wanted to say it. Didn’t want to keep the word to himself any longer.

David’s fingers dug into the flesh of Patrick’s ass cheeks. His way of asking for them to press their bodies closer together. Their cocks, side-by-side between them.

He turned his head and in a low voice told Patrick. “Yes, Daddy.”

David’s cock throbbed as he said the word out loud.

Patrick moaned. Deep and sexy. David thought maybe he liked it.

Patrick’s eyes closed; he shook his head. He felt Patrick’s hands and lips as he slowly and methodically touched him and kissed him. Worked his way down David’s body.

David exhaled loudly as Patrick’s warm strong hands cupped David’s balls. Massaged them. Rolled them tenderly in his hands. When he pulled on them gently in that way David liked, he inhaled sharply. Moaned again.

_Oh yes, Baby. Yes._

David loved how Patrick touched him. There was so much he wanted to say. A plethora of words and phrases that would shock Patrick if he uttered them all at once. A few at a time. A few. They kept David’s mind there and, hopefully, brought Patrick closer to using words he might otherwise find taboo.

Patrick’s lips followed his fingers. First kissing, then licking the shaft of David’s cock. His warm tongue teased its head. David wanted him to continue. Stay with it, but he kept moving. He didn’t stay in one spot for long. _God_ it was driving him crazy.

As Patrick’s fingers moved, David’s legs fell further open. Relaxed and wanting.

“That’s a good boy.” Patrick told him in a low and quiet voice.

 _Oh, yes. He’s here to play._ David rewarded him with a loan moan. 

Patrick’s hands moved under David’s ass and encouraged him to roll his hips up and open. Patrick’s mouth moved along the inside of David’s thigh. David shifted again. Opened up further. He absolutely loved when Patrick kissed along the tender flesh of his inner leg.

Upon feeling Patrick’s hot breath on his hole, upon feeling his tongue swipe over it, David let out a whimper. One hand found its way to Patrick’s head. The pads of his fingers circling on Patrick’s scalp, encouraging him to stay there. To linger.

_Don’t stop._

David’s other hand held on to his own cock. Squeezing it tightly at its base.

David loved that Patrick took his time. Patrick’s tongue circled him. Entered him. Patrick opened his mouth and kissed him. Deeply. David felt the vibration as Patrick moaned into him. David made small sounds of pleasure and his body stilled to allow Patrick to continue.

He took his time there. His mouth on David’s most sensitive area while David stroked himself. Ran his thumb over the head of his cock to bring the precum he was releasing down his shaft.

David needed more. Wanted more.

“Patrick.” David fingernails dug into Patrick’s scalp, replacing the soft circles he had been making.

As Patrick kissed him again on his hole. David writhed beneath him.

_Yes. Yes._

David wanted him. Needed to be fucked.

He hooked a hand under Patrick’s arm and pulled him up. “I need you, Patrick. I need you…” he breathed heavily, quickly. “I’m ready.”

Patrick moved back up David’s body. He lingered on David’s chest. He nuzzled his cheek on the hair there, breathed him in. Kissed him there.

“God, I love you, David.” He said into David’s chest. 

_Don’t fail me now, Patrick. Don’t fail me now._

Patrick’s left elbow was close to David’s side, holding himself over David. They shared tender, quiet kisses as Patrick moved the head of his cock along the line of David’s center. Up and down his taint. The head of his cock circling David’s hole, leaving a slightly damp trail with the beads of cum that had begun to drip from his slit.

David reached beside him to the table, for the lube. He snapped the lid open and held it out to Patrick who opened his hand to receive an ample amount.

The wordless ritual they’d done together countless times.

Panic attacks and his history with condoms far from David’s mind. He wanted Patrick. Wanted to feel his weight. Wanted to be filled by his cock.

“You always feel so good to me David.” Patrick told him as he began to prep David for what was to come next.

David’s knee instinctively raised up, allowing Patrick easier access. A moan came from deep within David’s chest.

“You like that, Baby? You like it when my finger touches there?” Patrick asked as he turned his finger upward again, stroking him in the spot that has caused David’s body to jerk in response to the pleasure. All while he nuzzled David’s neck and planted kisses along his shoulder.

“Yes, Mr. Brewer.” David said. His hands grasping at Patrick’s back.

Patrick worked in another finger. Slowly stretching him. Teasing that spot. Another finger. In and out. Stretching. Teasing.

“Stay open for me,” Patrick whispered to him as he withdrew his fingers. His voice low, sexy.

 _Anything. Anything for you_ , David thought.

David nodded. While his left knee remained in the air, his foot flat on the mattress, his right knee turned out and his leg lay, lax, on the bed.

“That’s it.” Patrick praised him for relaxing.

Patrick’s hand moved under David’s knee and he tapped David’s hip. “More lube, Baby.”

David’s hand found the lube and snapped it open and poured another generous amount onto Patrick’s hand.

David assumed Patrick was lubing his cock. He dropped his head so that his forehead rested on David’s chest. David felt him take a deep breath, and raised his head.

David’s eyes were closed while he waited. Waited for the sensation of Patrick entering him. He didn’t realize it, but he had squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation. 

He waited.

He waited. But nothing was happening.

Patrick wasn’t moving.

“David,” He heard Patrick say his name. He kissed David’s lips. His face close to David, he said his name again. “David.”

No matter how hard he tried, David couldn’t open his eyes. It was as though he had no control over his eyelids. The anticipation of what was about to happen had his whole body clenched.

He felt Patrick circle the head of his cock around his hole again. It felt so good.

He waited for him to enter. He braced himself to keep control. Each of his fists had moved to try to grasp hold of the bedsheet. He lay, ready to take a deep breath.

And then he heard the words come out of Patrick. Low. Gentle. Commanding.

“David, look at daddy.”

David’s eyes snapped open.

_Fuck, yes._

“I want you to see my face.” He told David.

David nodded. He could think of nothing else but to focus on Patrick’s face. Patrick’s eyes.

“Are you ready?” Patrick asked.

David nodded again.

“I need to hear the words, Babe.” Patrick told him.

“Yes. Please, Patrick. Yes.” David’s hands moved to grasp Patrick’s arms.

_His arms. I’m safe in his arms._

“You want me to get the condom?” Patrick offered.

“No. No.” David’s head quickly moved back and forth.

_Just do it. Please._

“K.” Patrick moved himself again. David’s hole puckered as Patrick ran the head of his slick cock over it again.

“Please. I want you in me.” David said. “I need you.”

“Can I watch? David. Are you alright if I watch it?” Patrick pulled away from him slightly. His eyes darted down to where his cock was toying with David’s hole.

“Yes, Patrick. Don’t worry about me. It’s OK.” David told him.

Because it was. It was good and he was ready. Patrick had done everything to make David as comfortable as he was going to be. To bring David along mentally as well as physically.

He had put David’s needs first and Patrick was asking for something for himself. He wanted to watch something he’d never experienced before. And there was absolutely nothing wrong with the ask. So, of course, it was OK.

He felt Patrick line himself up. Felt the familiar burn that he felt each time Patrick pressed the head of his cock into him. Felt his body do the same thing it always did. Tense briefly before releasing. Stretch to accommodate Patrick’s girth.

He watched Patrick’s face. Watched his lips press together. Watch his eyelids drop as he exhaled in pleasure.

Having Patrick in him felt good. It always did. It was right. They fit together well.

David kept his eyes on him. Watched his face. The flare of his nostrils. The thinning of his lips. The squinting of his eyes. To David, it didn’t feel that much different. But he could tell that Patrick was having sensations that he didn’t typically have. And Patrick was enjoying them.

David’s mind started to wander. He needed to bring it back and Patrick was a little lost in the moment to realize it. So, he asked him, “How’s it feel?”

Patrick’s eyes quickly found David’s. He made a sound. A low, throaty, masculine moan, as he sank deeper into him.

 _God_ , David loved it when he made that sound.

He lowered himself over David. Rested his body on both elbows on each side of David as he sank completely into him.

His face just inches from David. “Ohhhhh fuck, David. You feel so good.”

He pulled back slightly and moved forward again. Small, gentle, slow, easy movements.

“Tell me.” David said. “Describe it. I want to hear you tell me.” He needed words to keep in the present. He was terrified his brain was going to betray him.

“You’re…um…” Patrick breathed heavily. “You’re hot, David. It’s….so much more…It’s warmer than…” Patrick stopped talking for a moment.

Patrick rocked his hips back and forth, in and out. “And it’s so…didn’t know it would glide this smoothly. It’s…Fuck.”

It was clearly a powerful and new experience for Patrick. But to David, not only was it typical, he felt alone. Disconnection began to set in.

“Tell me.” David’s hands ran the length of Patrick’s back. He caressed his shoulders. He cupped his ass. “Tell me. Please, Patrick… I need you.”

“The head of my dick, Da….” Patrick breathed out as he pushed himself deeper into David. “I feel everything, David. It’s so much more…intense. You’re so tight and warm. Smooth. I… I feel you touching every part of my dick. It’s so good.” Patrick inhaled sharply.

Patrick looked at David. Their eyes met briefly before David’s eyes darted to the side. His hands stilled. He lay motionless.

Patrick shifted. He leaned his weight on his left elbow. His right hand moved to rest flat on the mattress by David. He gently kissed David and then moved his lips along David’s jawline, down his neck, and back up to his jaw.

He continued to pump into him. Slow, steady, gentle movements.

“Move with me, David.” Patrick continued the movements. Controlled. Gentle.

David knew that Patrick wanted him to move with him.

He couldn’t. He was frozen again. Unable to focus long enough to reconnect. Patrick rocked his body over him once, encouraging him to move.

_I’m trying, Patrick._

It took every ounce of strength within himself.

He remembered what she had told him in therapy that afternoon.

 _Move your body and your mind may follow_.

David’s hands moved, slightly. Tightened around Patrick’s lower back. 

“Come on, Baby. Feel it with me.” Patrick encouraged him.

_If you can’t focus on the music, use parts of his body to ground you._

David’s hand began to move.

_From what part of him do you draw your strength?_

Up Patrick’s back. Down his back. David’s fingers edging the line of Patrick’s backbone. The strength of the man he loved. The strength of the man who protected him. His fingers moved. Up and down. Touching his backbone. Feeling the muscles of Patrick’s back under his fingers.

“It feels so good to be in you, David. I want you to enjoy it, too.” Patrick shifted his position so he could move his hand to David’s cock. He wrapped his hand around David’s shaft, near its head. His thumb circled, teased, glided over him.

He couldn’t speak, but that didn’t keep the words from swirling in his brain.

_Thank you. Thank you, Patrick. Please take care of me. Please fuck me. Please._

Though he couldn’t form words, a sound left David’s throat. A whimpering sound of an unmet need.

_Help me, Patrick._

Patrick leaned in. With a deep voice in David’s ear, he breathed, “Come on, Baby. Move with Daddy.”

_Yes. Yes._

Upon hearing the phrase from Patrick, David’s pressed his head back, deeper into the pillow. He arched his back. In the slightest of movements, David’s hips rocked forward.

“Atta boy.” Patrick breathed into his ear. He pulled out further so his next thrust would be deeper. Again. And Again. Smooth movements with a firm thrust.

It was perfect. It felt right.

David began to buck his hips in earnest. Meeting Patrick. Challenging him.

“Good. That’s so good.” Patrick praised him.

“I’m your good boy.” David breathed, finding his voice. He drew his knees up. One knee moved up and Patrick’s arm opened and moved under it, so David’s leg could move up to Patrick’s shoulder.

“Oh, god, David. Fuck. You know how to drive me crazy.” Patrick whispered to him.

They knew the rhythm. Once it began in earnest, they knew it. They knew what David’s body liked. They knew how Patrick could move his arms under David’s legs to force his body to curve upward so he could take more of Patrick’s length and girth. Their bodies responded to each other as they always had.

The room was quiet. Only the hushed sounds of their ragged breath. Only the sounds of hot, sweaty flesh hitting hot, sweaty flesh.

David finally felt it. He felt the difference. It all felt so much more… wet… than normal. He knew the precum that Patrick was releasing was mixing with the melted lube. He knew that he, too, was adding to the mix with juices his own body was making. It all melded together. And with each movement Patrick made, more slid out and down him. And as Patrick pressed into him, it pressed more of it out. He felt it. A different sensation than anything he’d ever felt.

Patrick began to stroke David’s cock in earnest. He tilted David just a bit more so that on his next thrust, the head of his cock brushed the spot that made David quiver from the inside.

One of David’s hands reached around Patrick and dug into the flesh of his ass. The other grabbed his own cock. Took it away from Patrick and wrapped his own hand around himself.

“OOhhhhfffff.” David exhaled a sound of pleasure. “I’m almost….Patrick… Help me get…”

Patrick grunted into David’s neck.

“Harder. Need….words…” David begged him.

Patrick put his free hand on the mattress to use as leverage. He pulled away and then thrust in earnest. In. Out. Firmly. Quickly. Smoothly.

They were wet.

 _Please, Patrick. Please._  
  
“David. I want to feel you come. Don’t fight it.” Patrick grunted as his body worked over David. As he pressed into him. Pulled out of him. Pressed into him again.

“Mmmmm.” The sound David made was somewhere between a moan and a whine.

_Please. I need words._

And then Patrick, his voice low and commanding, said, “Come for daddy.”

The tone of his voice mixed with the risqué words David had longed to hear from him were exactly what David needed. He felt the tug start low in his abdomen and felt himself move right along the edge. And then he fell into the strong waves of orgasm that waited for him. He arched his back, his body stiffened.

“That’s it, David. Oh my god. That’s a good boy.” He barely heard Patrick’s words as his body felt wave after wave wash over him.

“Fuck, David. Fuck. You feel so good.” Patrick told him as he continued to quickly and harshly pump into him.

David moaned in response to his words.

“Baby. I’m almost there. I’m going to pull out.” Patrick grunted.

David’s legs moved quickly from Patrick’s shoulders to circle his waist. “No. Please. Keep going, Patrick,” He panted.

And he meant it. They’d come so far.

He wanted Patrick to keep going. To finish inside him. To come in him.

Patrick hesitated briefly. They locked eyes. David nodded.

“God, David.” Patrick groaned.

“Stay,” David’s command was stern. He bucked his hips and caused Patrick to press into him.

Patrick moved his hands under David’s legs again and pushed his legs back up to Patrick’s shoulders. He buried himself deep into David and partially pulled out. Thrusting in hard. And again. And on the third thrust his body stiffened and he locked eyes with David.

When David felt the first moment of Patrick’s release, his dark eyes flew open wide and met Patrick’s. For the first time, he felt the expulsion of hot cum in a way he never had before.

As Patrick’s body tightened over him, David spoke.

He said the words he wanted to say,… whether or not they were actually accurate. 

“Only you, Mr. Brewer. You’re the only one…ever. Only you.” Tears dripped from David’s eyes, down his temples.

_I wish the words were true. God, how I wish they were true._

“Aarrrhhhhrrr. David. Fuck.” Patrick expressed a growl of pleasure.

He lowered his weight over David. Folding David’s body nearly in half. Buried his face in David’s neck and thrust one, two more times.

Words rushed out of Patrick and into David’s ear. “All mine. Finally, mine. You’re fucking mine. My sweet prince.”

_I am… I’m yours. For better or for worse._

David, nearly lost in his own emotion, was aware enough to know that Patrick was choking back some feelings of his own.

Patrick’s body stilled. He moved slightly so that David’s legs could move off his shoulders and settle to Patrick’s sides. Each foot on the mattress. Knees in the air.

David reveled at the feeling of Patrick collapsed on top of him. The weight of Patrick’s body a comfort. David’s arms were wrapped around his waist, holding Patrick tightly to him.

David couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. He couldn’t fully explain it if he tried. But he also knew not to try to stop them. And, they were who they were. Crying in front of him at that point seemed like a natural thing to do.

Patrick kissed David’s neck.

“David, I love you.” He whispered.

“I know.” David’s body began to shake.

It wasn’t the crying. It was an uncontrollable shake from deep within himself. He’d felt it before. His therapist told him it was the release of adrenaline. It was nothing he could control. He had to just ride it out. And having no control of it made him cry harder.

Though his eyes were shut, he felt Patrick move beside him. Could tell Patrick was lifting himself up off him. Knew without looking that Patrick was watching him. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” David whispered. He quickly shook his head.

He had no real, rational thought. He just wept. His body vibrating from the internal tremors.

And whispered apologies.

Patrick moved to his knees. He held a hand to David’s inner thigh, pressing it out as he slowly pulled out of him.

David eyes were closed. He wept quietly. Let Patrick do what he needed to do.

A rush of fluids left him as Patrick withdrew. He felt it puddle onto the bedsheet beneath himself.

He felt Patrick moving. He cleaned David. Wiped David’s ass, His thigh. His hand. His abdomen. David was comforted by Patrick quietly tending to him.

Patrick settled beside him. Wrapped one leg over David’s hips. Wrapped one arm over his chest.

David continued to cry. Held his hands over his face.

“Shhhh.” Patrick tried to comfort him. “Oh, Babe. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

David felt guilty. Patrick had been so wonderful.

It had all felt great. It was a better experience that David ever thought it would be. But he couldn’t control the emotion that was leaving his body and he knew he was ruining it for Patrick. And that made him cry all the harder.

“It’s alright. It’s OK.” David struggled to get the words out.

David rolled to his side. Rolled so his back was to Patrick. He wanted spooned. He needed to be spooned.

But Patrick didn’t move with him. _God._ He hoped Patrick wasn’t angry. Or, worse, hurt.

David didn’t move more than his arm. Didn’t want to pressure him. But he raised his arm and held it behind himself. Then he waved his hand at Patrick.

“Big spoon.” He said quietly as he asked Patrick, yet again, to meet his needs.

He sighed with relief as he felt Patrick immediately move behind him. Felt Patrick press himself snugly against David. Felt him reach down to the end of the bed to grab a fist full of sheet and blanket which he pulled up to cover them.

While Patrick reached for the covers, David reached for his phone. Turned off the music. He was done listening to another man sing.

He knew what he wanted. What he needed. There was only one voice he needed to hear.

The room was quiet.

David grabbed ahold of Patrick’s arm and pulled it around himself.

He took a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale.

He felt Patrick, pressed to his back, do the same. Inhale. Exhale.

David’s body began to calm. The tears had stopped. The shaking was mostly internal and not reaching his extremities. He knew Patrick would want to talk about it, but he hoped that in that moment he would hold the questions. 

When Patrick kissed his shoulder like that? _God_ , it was everything. David knew it was Patrick letting him know he was there, but that David was under no obligation to say or do anything.

David said nothing.

Patrick tightened his arm around David.

David’s hands tightened their hold on Patrick’s arm.

They lay quiet. And then David had one last request.

“Sing.” The request came in a whisper. “Patrick, please sing.”

And with no hesitation, Patrick began…

 _I call you when I need you and my heart's on fire_ _  
You come to me wild and wired  
You come to me, give me everything I need  
Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams  
Speak the language of love like you know what it means_

++++++

After his body had calmed. When the shaking inside had stopped. Once the tears were dry, he lay quiet in Patrick’s arms.

Patrick partially sitting up, partially laying back. David curled onto his side, his head resting on Patrick’s chest so he could hear his heart beating steadily under his ear. His hand resting on Patrick’s chest so he could feel the rhythmic rising and falling as he breathed.

He knew Patrick was dozing. He had a moment of guilt as he thought about how Patrick had gotten up so very early to drive them home from their weekend with his parents and how he had encouraged David to sleep. He thought about how Patrick had worked while he went to therapy. He thought about the rigorous rehearsal full of dancing and singing that he’d been through just hours before only to come home to be frightened by an emotional David.

A chill ran through his body. He was cold. He needed to get dressed, but there was no way he was doing that without a thorough shower.

He moved as gently as he could, so as not to disturb Patrick. But, of course, any movement he made would bring Patrick out of his slumber.

“You OK? What’s wrong?” Patrick asked with a groggy voice.

“I’m good, Baby.” David leaned into him and kissed him on the cheek. Said quietly to him, “Go back to sleep. I’m going to go shower.”

Patrick sat up. “I’ll come with you.”

++++++

As the hot water beat down on them, David handed Patrick the shower puff that was full of suds, and he turned his back to him.

He loved when Patrick scrubbed his back. He ran the puff over his shoulders, down his back. Over his ass. Then his hand wrapped around David and, from behind, he rubbed the puff over his chest, his abdomen, and down his thighs as he pressed his chest to David’s back.

David turned and wrapped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders. Pulled him in.

He couldn’t keep it to himself any longer. He hated that what he said wasn’t exactly the truth.

He whispered quietly, “When I said you were the only one… I meant…”

Patrick cut him off, “I know what you meant.”

David nodded. His voice soft and high as he fought back another wave of emotion, “I wish you were the only one to have ever done that in me?”

“I…” Patrick started to respond and then stopped. He tightened his arms around David. He kissed his neck and then tried again. “I wish I knew the right thing to say here… But, I don’t. I’m afraid what I want to say is wrong.”

“Say it. Please.” David encouraged him.

_Say anything. I can’t stand the silence._

“I want to say thank you. And I want to say I’m sorry.” Patrick told him. His face buried in David’s neck. His arms wrapped tightly around David’s waist. Hot water pouring down their bodies.

David shook his head, “Sorry for what?”

“I feel like we went down this path because I asked about doing it back when we were at the cabin. And then I messed up with the condom that night and it broke, which caused your panic attack. And because I… I feel like you felt pressure to accept it.”

David’s hand ran over Patrick’s back. Down his arm. He shook his head again, “No. It was a next step we needed to take. We keep moving forward and it was the next step. And I… needed to deal with the past.”

“I also want to say… Please don’t take this wrong.” Patrick said.

David loosened his grip on Patrick and pulled back so he could look at him. “Say it.”

Patrick looked up at him with his brown eyes wide. He shrugged in that way he does. “It doesn’t matter to me. I mean… someone violated you and that… David, that _really_ matters to me. I mean… if I could… find that person and pulverize them… I would do it. But… not being the only one…?” Patrick shook his head, “That doesn’t matter to me...”

David’s eyes traveled Patrick’s face, knowing there was more he had to say.

Patrick’s hands slid up David’s chest. Rested on his shoulders. “David, what matters to me is that nobody else ever…”

David nodded as he looked from Patrick’s eyes to his mouth. Back to his eyes. “You’ll be the only one, Patrick.”

“…because you’re mine and nobody else’s.” Patrick said.

David nodded. “Same to you, right?”

“I promise,” Patrick told him.

David pulled him close and sighed as Patrick kissed him. Sweet, tender, loving.

His protector.

His Patrick.

++++++

He lay there as Patrick slept. He looked through social media. He played a game of solitaire.

He sat on the edge of the bed and contemplated going out for a walk. Something he might do if he were back at the motel.

It was not terribly uncommon for him to be awake in the middle of the night. Mind racing, or body buzzing from one feeling or another. But he didn’t want to leave on the off chance that Patrick woke up.

He quietly moved to the kitchen. He wanted something hot to drink.

He didn’t want to heat water in the tea kettle because it made too much noise when it was ready, so he ran water into a pot and set it on to boil.

He quietly pulled the French press out from the cupboard. He smiled as he spooned the coffee into it. Smiled as he thought about Patrick buying it for him so he could have coffee at the apartment.

David wondered about their future. Wherever they lived, he wanted to have a nice kitchen. One where he could have a nice coffee maker. He’d want an island where they could sit and eat breakfast together. Or where Patrick could sit and work on his little spreadsheets while David threw together a nice salad for dinner after work.

He poured the boiling water into the French press. Let it steep for a moment.

Was it only the night before that they’d been at Patrick’s parents’ home? It seemed like longer than that.

He thought about the books Marcy showed him. Photos of Patrick from when he was a baby. The video of him singing at a school concert. The team sports pictures when he was a boy. The photo of him as young teen playing… _god help me…_ an accordion for his grandparents.

He pressed the plunger on the French press. Poured the coffee into a mug and leaned back against the sink.

He thought about the fact that they were days away from the anniversary of having met one another. He pondered what he would have thought a year ago if he would have known where he’d be standing just one year later.

He thought about how just about a year ago, he’d sat with his mother on her bed. And she’d told him. Told him that everything he had thought about his previous career had all been a sham.

He had been alone.

And then. Out of the blue. There he was.

David chuckled at the thought. _Out of the blue._

Patrick stirring lulled David out of his thoughts.

Patrick sat up in bed. As he pulled on his underwear and walked over to stand near David, David wondered how Patrick could always be so warm. He slept naked most of the time while David had to sleep in clothes to stay warm.

“Coffee at three in the morning?” Patrick asked. Arms crossed over his chest. He was clearly concerned about David.

“I’m cold,” David told him.

“Mmm,” Patrick made the simple sound that spoke volumes about his concern.

Silence.

“Want to take another hot shower?” Patrick offered.

David shook his head. Took another sip of coffee. He’d honestly had his fill. He was just killing time while he couldn’t sleep. Since Patrick was awake, he didn’t need it.

“What do you want? What do you need…?” Patrick asked.

David dumped the rest of his coffee down the drain. “I’m gonna….” He pointed to the bathroom. “I’m gonna use the bathroom and then I want to go back to bed.”

“OK,” Patrick said softly to him as he walked away.

++++++

They lay in bed. Patrick, naked and on his back. David in his sweatpants and sweatshirt, curled up against his side. His head on Patrick’s shoulder. Blankets pulled up under his chin.

David knew that Patrick needed sleep. Knew he was exhausted. But he felt like maybe there was more they needed to say.

But it was too much. Too much of a conversation to have in the middle of the night after such a long day.

David’s fingers drew shapes and letters on Patrick’s bare chest. His breathing was steady. He was quiet. David wondered if he was asleep.

He jumped a little when Patrick spoke, “You want to talk about it?”

David spoke immediately, “I’m sorry I cried. I wasn’t upset. I don’t know what that was.”

“If you are telling me you weren’t upset, I’m going to trust that. You don’t owe me any explanation.” Patrick told him. His hand played with David’s hair. The curly mess on top of his head. David liked when he did that. It soothed him. “It did make me worry about you, though.”

“She told me I might have an emotional release. Since I’ve… you know… put so much stock into the whole thing.” David told him.

Patrick nodded. “I see.”

“The shaking… it was a release of adrenaline, I think.” David said.

“OK,” Patrick said.

They were quiet.

“Regrets?” Patrick asked him.

David leaned up on his elbow and looked down at Patrick. “What? No. Why would I have regrets?”

With Patrick, for the first time in his life, David had no regrets. None whatsoever.

“Just… It’s all been a pretty big deal between us for a while.” Patrick told him.

David shook his head. His palm flat against Patrick’s chest. “No. No. No. No. No Regrets. No, I feel good. I feel like a … weight’s been lifted off my shoulders.”

Patrick made a sound of contentment. Moved his right arm. Tucked his hand under his pillow as he looked up at the ceiling. Elbow jutting out.

David loved his arms and when he had a chance to touch that soft, tender skin on the inner part of his bicep? David took it. He loved that softness there. His eyes followed his fingers and he said, “I’m sorry I made you wait so long for that.”

It felt silly at that point to think that he’d held out. Not allowed Patrick to fuck him without a condom. He, of course, trusted Patrick. He felt badly that he didn’t let Patrick know that sooner.

“I don’t think we were on a timeline,” Patrick told him. “We were ready when we were ready.”

David rested his head back on Patrick’s shoulder. His fingers swiping, back and forth, over Patrick’s chest. He thought about what their future held.

“Babe, I’m trying to stay awake,” Patrick said. His voice drowsy.

“Shhh,” David made a comforting sound. “Go to sleep. It’s OK.”

And it was. Because he knew they were good. The little they’d talked… in the shower, there in the bed… they were good. David knew it in the depths of his soul.

Patrick’s words became slow and thick as he mumbled them. As his eyes closed. “I’ll protect you.”

“I know, Mr. Brewer.” David whispered.

_Honestly? I’ve always known._

“You… felt…sss…”

Before he could get out the sentence, the heavy weight of exhaustion pressed down onto Patrick and he succumbed to sleep.

And David lay in his arms.

His fingers still gently touching him. 

His body, settled.

His soul, content.

His mind, racing…as he thought about the future.

++++++

David woke. Flat on his stomach. His face pressed into the pillow. It smelled of Patrick.

Patrick’s pillow.

He felt him touching his back.

He opened one eye. The eye that wasn’t pressed into the pillow.

Patrick was leaning low over him. Bending down beside the bed.

“Good morning, Sunshine.” Patrick said with a smile. Kissed David’s cheek.

David made a sound. A decidedly discontented morning sound.

“I’m headed to the store. You stay in bed.” Patrick’s fingers reached out for David’s hair.

David shut his eyes at the feeling of having his hair played with while he was teetering on the verge of going back to sleep.

“I’ll get up,” David mumbled into the pillow.

“No need. I’ve got the store. You sleep. No need for us both to be there.”

“Sure?” David asked him. He could, if he must, get up.

“You were up all night, weren’t you?” Patrick asked him. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“My brain,” David mumbled.

“What time did you go to sleep?” The mattress dipped as Patrick sat on the bed beside him. Stroked his back.

“Five? Six?” David couldn’t think.

“I need to know if you’re regretting it.” Patrick told him.

David knew that he was asking because Patrick couldn’t carry the worry with him all day.

“No regrets.” David mumbled. And it was the truth. Zero regrets.

“Promise?” Patrick asked. “Can you promise me you’re telling the truth?”

“Promise.” David said without hesitation.

“OK,” Patrick moved his hand. Patted David’s ass. “We’re going to talk about it all later.”

“I have no doubt,” David huffed out a sound that resembled a chuckle.

“I don’t need you at the store until 3. Seriously, sleep as late as you want.”

“Set my alarm.” David requested as his arm squeezed Patrick’s pillow.

Patrick reached for David’s phone. Set it for early afternoon. Pulled the blankets up over David’s shoulder. Kissed him on the cheek and headed to the door.

Behind him, David raised his head off the pillow, “Mr. Brewer?”

Patrick turned to look back at him. “Yeah, David?”

David leaned up on one elbow, and looked at Patrick. Standing by the door, his baby blue shirt tucked into his newer dark-washed Levi’s. Bright eyed and ready to start his day. He said the words he knew that Patrick needed to hear. “I know you will always keep me safe.”

Patrick, lips pressed together, nodded. “Yeah.”

Then he told Patrick what he needed to say to him. Well… _one of the things_ he needed to say to him. “I’m going to love you until my dying breath.”

It amused David to see Patrick clearly work hard to keep his reaction under control. See him work to keep his facial reaction in check as he nodded and simply said, “Me too, David.”

“Now go to work and let me sleep,” David’s head plopped back down on the pillow.

And Patrick closed the door quietly behind himself. He gave David what he wanted. Peace. Quiet. Solitude.

As David breathed in Patrick’s scent, as he drifted back to sleep, he thought about spending the rest of his life with Patrick.

Every day working by his side.

Every night resting in his arms.

And David slept soundly for hours, knowing that he was safe with Patrick. He would _always_ be safe with Patrick.

+++


	39. Fiancé (Part 1 of 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Patrick celebrate a very special anniversary. Patrick and Alexis have a talk. David helps Patrick prepare for dress rehearsal. Patrick plans a picnic. David and Patrick take a hike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place before and during 5.13. 
> 
> +++
> 
> Thank you for your patience.  
> I apologize for the wait.  
> \- PD
> 
> +++

++++++

Patrick placed the wrapped gift in the bottom drawer of the desk. A smile on his face. It was an important anniversary and he was excited to give the special memento to David later in the day.

He took the cash out to the front of the store, filled the register drawer, and turned it on. Flipped the sign to indicate they were open. Turned on the music, set to the playlist of their relationship. Their favorite songs. And he set about his morning tasks.

He cleaned the restroom. He stocked the shelves. He printed off the orders that had been placed online. And then, all of his chores complete, he retrieved the dust mop and worked to complete David’s morning chores before he arrived.

He wanted David in the best mood possible.

Because, he had decided he was ready. They were ready. He was going to ask David to go on a picnic later in the week.

Then he remembered. He needed to prepare the wall in the office. He reached under the counter that held the register and dug through the tool box he stored there. Retrieved a hammer and a nail and ducked into the office.

++++++

David was in a good mood. His heart was filled with light. It was an anniversary for them. The anniversary of the first day they had met. And he knew, as sure as he knew Patrick, that there would be a gift waiting for him at the Apothecary. And he was happy because he would be taking a gift to Patrick. He would not be caught off guard like he used to be.

He couldn’t say that his sister’s mood was as bright has his, but she was cheerful. She walked around the suitcases that filled the floor of their room flipping her hair talking about how she would soon be enjoying the beach and all the benefits that come with it – a golden glow on her skin and the beach waves in her hair that she had to work too hard to produce on her own.

He hadn’t really spent a lot of time thinking about her leaving. If he were being honest, and truly the only person he’d uttered the words to was Patrick, he wasn’t sure she’d actually go. Until the past day or so when she started pulling out all of her suitcases and she began to pack, he hadn’t really believed she’d go.

After all, she wasn’t going to a luxury resort. She was going with Ted on an extended scientific journey. He wasn’t sure that she had really thought it all the way through. But, he supposed, one does what they do for love. He certainly would be likely to follow Patrick to the ends of the earth if it meant being with him forever.

And he’d hoped, at least… he was pretty sure… that Patrick would do the same for him.

He rolled his eyes at himself. The utter ridiculous notion of following one to the ends of the earth is something his former self would have scoffed at. But in his current state? Nothing could be more accurate about how he felt about Patrick.

David was in. He was _all in_.

For the rest of his life, if Patrick would have him.

And he began to wonder, not for the first time, how he might find the courage to bring it up to Patrick.

++++++

The morning was busy, overall, and it was a good one. David felt light-hearted as he talked with customers. He liked it. He felt useful, and smart.

And accomplished.

_This is the store I dreamed about. Our Store. And these people come in here to buy our products. They trust us. We built this! A year ago, this was just a dream._

Patrick watched him as he talked, patiently, with the two women who were asking him about the natural household cleaners they’d begun stocking.

He smiled. He was kind.

No wonder people liked it better when they came into the store and found David on the floor, working. He treated them like they were friends. Even Bob and Gwen.

_The day I met him I knew he was special. I just didn’t know how special. I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with him._

After Patrick checked them out and David sent them on their way, the store was relatively quiet.

“Gonna run over and pick up our lunch,” Patrick told him. “Let’s lock up for lunch today? Be alone for a bit?”

David smiled at him. That smile. You know the one. His mouth pulled over to the left just a bit. His eyes twinkling, knowingly. “That sounds great,” he said with a soft voice.

++++++

After lunch, Patrick cleared the table of their to-go containers and David settled in on the couch. They had decided to close for a full hour and they had plenty of time to sit… _or something_.

David was hoping they opted for… _something._

“You know, David, today is a special day,” Patrick began as he always did before he surprised David with a gift to commemorate a special occasion.

“I’m aware,” David said knowingly. He watched Patrick go to the desk and open the bottom drawer. Knew Patrick was reaching for a gift he’d hidden there.

Patrick grinned as he walked toward the couch, gift bag in hand.

 _The_ gift bag.

 _Their_ gift bag.

Dark blue, with light blue tissue paper that had seen far better days. Worn, torn. The gift bag that had been passed between the two of them for several gift exchanges over the course of the past year.

David smiled as he reached into his black leather bag to retrieve the present he’d asked the clothier to wrap just days before. He set it on the coffee table and watched Patrick smile when he saw the gift. Knowing he was smiling not because he was receiving a gift, but because David remembered the day.

“The day we met,” David told him, noticing the slight blush on Patrick’s face.

“The day we met,” Patrick echoed him.

“A very important day in our history,” David suppressed a smile as his eyes locked on the bag.

“You want to go first?” Patrick held the bag out to him.

David reached with both hands for the bag, “Thank you,” He whispered before he even opened the gift. Because he knew that no matter what was inside, he would love it. He knew that whatever was inside would have meaning to them. Patrick didn’t gift a gift that didn’t have meaning.

Patrick watched him. Heart pounding as it always did.

He used to worry about whether or not David would like his gifts. He no longer had that worry. Now, his heart was pounding because he knew David would like it and he was excited to see his reaction. 

He saw it on David’s face as he pulled the frame from the bag. As David looked at him and then back at the framed paper. As David set the empty bag on the coffee table and held the gift gently with both hands. As David’s eyes grew softer as he looked at it.

“Somehow, I knew you kept this,” David told him before he reached out his hand to pull him in for a kiss. “Of course, you kept this,” He said as he pressed his forehead against Patrick’s and held the framed paper to his chest.

Since he was a child, David had always loved receiving presents. But no present had ever meant more to him that the gifts Patrick gave him that were reminders of their history.

“How could I _not_ keep it?” Patrick said. “It pretty much started it all, didn’t it?” He teased.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you already have a nail in the wall over there,” David teased. “Noticed it when I arrived this morning.” 

Patrick shrugged. A slight grin on his lips. His eyes danced over David’s pleased face.

He turned on the couch. Leaned against Patrick as he held the frame and looked it over. “Nice frame choice,” he told Patrick as his fingers tapped the edge of the frame.

Another nod to their history.

“Thanks,” Patrick smiled. “I feel like I’ve got the hang of it now.” His arm around David. His hand rubbing David’s side.

David didn’t take his eyes off the framed document. His mind going back to that time.

He looked at the tear there on the line where the name of the store was to be written. Torn because he’d crossed it out and tried again with a pen that was too dry to be successfully used. He shook his head as he eyed the three different colors of pen that were used that day when he tried, in vain, to find a pen in the old desk drawer that worked well.

“I like that you framed your business card with it,” David said, his fingers lovingly touching the bottom corner of the frame where Patrick’s old business card was enclosed.

He thought about how he sat in the empty storefront. How he’d held the card and considered whether or not to call him. How he almost didn’t call him.

“ _My god_ how you used that card,” Patrick teased.

“So, I left a few messages,” David shrugged. He minimized the number as he always did when they recounted the story.

“Ten. There were _ten_ messages,” Patrick reminded him with a smile in his voice. _God,_ he loved when David walked through memories with him.

“There could have been more,” David turned in to him. Kissed him again. “There could have been _so many more_.”

“Every one of them made me happy,” Patrick grinned into the kiss.

“I’m going to hang it up,” David stood and took the frame with him.

Patrick, remaining on the couch, watched him go. Watched him hang the frame that held the original incorporation papers that David had taken with him on that first day. The papers he had brought back to Patrick because he had all but destroyed them. When he had to, begrudgingly, ask for a new set of papers. The papers he handed over to Patrick that day. The papers Patrick had tucked away for some unknown reason, rather than throw them away. The papers that had been tucked into a file and stored in Patrick’s desk drawer.

The papers that were the sole reason for David walking into Ray’s place that day. That day, one year ago.

David stood in front of the wall and looked at their memories. Framed and hanging there. Reminders of their year-long journey. The first receipt. The B-13 ticket. The partnership decision chart. The hand-bill for their first Open Mic Night. The side-by-side baseball cards. And, fresh among them, the original and very messy incorporation papers along with a little business card with Patrick’s contact information on it. Their wall of memories was expanding and he took a moment. A moment to take it all in. 

He wondered how many memories they’d end up putting on that wall.

He hoped a lifetime’s worth.

He smiled to himself as he thought of the words: _A lifetime of promises and a world of dreams._

“Hey. I feel like there’s a gift for me over here,” Patrick teased, drawing David’s attention away from the wall.

David took a deep breath and turned to him. “Yes, but of course nothing near as sentimental as all of this.” He circled his hand in the direction of their memory wall.

David settled into the corner of the couch with his coffee as he watched Patrick unwrap the gift.

“This is nice wrapping. Not the store’s brown and black,” Patrick noted that David must not have wrapped this one.

“Bought it at the new clothier in Elmdale. They wrapped it. Isn’t it attractive?” David said.

“It is,” Patrick nodded as he unceremoniously tore the paper. “I didn’t know the store had opened. Is it somewhere you’ll want to shop?”

“Maybe,” David said. “Some nice things for you, for sure. I picked up some moisturizer for myself.”

Patrick lifted the green shirt from the box. “Ohhhh, I like this. _Niiiice_. Thank you.” He held the shirt up to his chest and looked down. Ran his hand over the fabric. “Thanks babe. I really like it.”

“I know it’s not your typical Brewer blue…” David reached out a hand and pressed it against the shirt. Pressed it against Patrick’s chest. “Just thought when I saw it that it would look good on you. Work with your coloring. I can see that I was correct.”

Patrick laid the shirt on the table and leaned back against the arm of the couch. Spread his legs and patted the cushion between them, inviting David to back up and be spooned.

David leaned back against him and sighed in contentment as Patrick’s arms tightly wrapped around him. He leaned his head back, leaning it partly against the back of the couch and partly on Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick peppered his cheek and neck with little kisses. “Thank you. I like the shirt.”

“I like the addition to our wall. Thank you.” David said. He tilted his head toward him. Pressed his cheek against Patrick.

He listened to Patrick’s breathing in his ear. Felt Patrick’s heartbeat on his back.

“Tell me about that morning when I came in?” David asked him. He would never, for as long as he lived, tire of hearing the story. And, moments like these were among the few that he let himself wallow in the sentimentality of their relationship.

Patrick smiled. He absolutely loved these moments. When David’s walls were down and he was completely and totally vulnerable to the emotional part of their relationship. “I knew you were coming in. I knew I was going to help you with incorporation paperwork. But I didn’t know what to expect.” Patrick’s hands pressed against David’s chest. Held him tightly, just the way he liked it.

“And then I came in,” David said.

“Like a magical unicorn walking among mere mortals,” Patrick’s voice was low as he talked into David’s ear.

The sound of his voice. The heat of his breath. All of it mixed with the words and sent a chill down David’s side. Patrick always, _always_ , made him feel special.

“And you didn’t think I was very smart,” David said, knowing Patrick would correct him.

“I thought you had a lot of ideas but you were having trouble articulating them.” Patrick didn’t let him down.

“You made fun of me.” David said, again, knowing.

“I teased you.” Patrick corrected him.

“You looked me over from head to toe.” David moved one of Patrick’s hands. They interlaced their fingers.

“You were different from anyone I’d ever met before.” Patrick said.

“You wanted me then.” David said.

“I didn’t know it at the time,” Patrick told him. “I was drawn to you, but I didn’t know exactly why.”

“M’Kay,” David said.

“When did you know you wanted me,” Patrick asked, even though he knew the answer. He liked the answer.

“When did my brain know that I wanted you? Or when did… this guy… know he wanted you,” David circled his hand over is crotch. “The timeline is dependent on which you are speaking.”

“This guy now has a name. Let’s use it. It’s rude to not use it,” Patrick teased.

“Well… the _MVP_ knew when I returned later that day.” David continued.

“Whatever was I doing to get the attention of the MVP?” Patrick leaned his head against David’s and smiled as he asked the question into David’s ear.

“You know what you were doing,” David told him.

“Indulge me,” Patrick encouraged him. While his one hand held David’s hand, his other hand made its way down David’s abdomen and cupped his crotch.

David shook his head, rolled his eyes. “You were leaning over the table working on something. Your blue shirt was pulled tight across those fucking shoulders of yours and that ass of yours… in your snug little jeans… was looking at me and calling my name."

“MVP liked it,” Patrick’s hand tightened its grip around David’s growing interest.

“That’s correct,” David said. He reached a hand up and back a little so he could touch Patrick’s cheek.

“And then when we sat here… right here… after I helped you with your business plan?” Patrick continued, knowing there was more to the story that he loved.

David turned his head slightly and glanced up at him before turning back around. “MVP became very interested in you when you talked about your education and your past work. When you talked about why you like accounting.”

“MVP likes a mathematically-minded man,” Patrick said.

David shrugged, “That’s accurate.”

“When did your brain know you wanted me?” Patrick asked him. Having heard the story several times, he anticipated David saying that it was when Patrick gave him the receipt on his birthday.

David turned. Curled on his side and rested his cheek against Patrick’s shoulder. He looked up at him. “That night? After I helped you with your business plan and I went home and took a shower and thought about you. I knew, then, that I wanted you… physically.”

“Mmm,” Patrick made a sound of understanding. He waited, knowing there was more coming. David was changing the story and Patrick realized there was something new coming. More he hadn’t heard.

“But… if I’m being honest? When you came in here? After you’d run away to your parents? When you came back….” David’s voice trailed off.

Patrick waited. His hand resting on David’s hip.

David was quiet. Clearly contemplating what he was going to say.

“You mean when I brought you the business license?” Patrick asked.

David sighed. He pressed his hand against Patrick’s chest.

“Not exactly. I mean… maybe. I was crushing on you then and very upset with Alexis and you… thinking the two of you were…” David grew quiet. He knew Patrick knew that story. He didn’t want to go down that path.

Patrick waited. His hand slowly rubbing David’s thigh. 

“But… it was later. The next day?” David said.

“Mmm,” Patrick made a sound. He was following what David was saying.

“You came in here and said you wanted to work with me. You told me you’d get the money…” David reached for Patrick’s hands. Their fingers laced together, again.

Patrick hadn’t heard these words from him before. He made a little noise of understanding. “Huhn.”

His heart pounded as he listened to David recount that conversation. His body was responding to the story.

“And it wasn’t about the money,… you know that right?” David asked.

“I know,” Patrick whispered.

“You were forceful. And direct and confident,” David told him. He leaned his head back so he could look up at Patrick. “And you were so smart and helpful…”

“You needed a lot of help,” Patrick teased to lighten the moment.

David chuckled. “Stop. I know I did. But… Patrick… from that moment, you seemed… _all in_.”

“I was. No question.” Patrick said. “I came home ready. Open to… finding a way to figure out if…”

David turned again. Pushed Patrick back so he lay back on the couch; David on top of him.

David’s lips brushed across Patrick’s. “We’ve both known,” David whispered, “For a long time.”

“Nearly a year,” Patrick murmured.

He reached for David. His hand on the back of David’s head as he pulled him close. He opened his mouth for David. A tingle ran down his back as David’s tongue licked into him. As David’s body relaxed over him and the weight of David pressed him into the couch cushion.

He spread his leg out, allowing himself to feel more pressure; David pressed against him. His foot that had been resting on the floor moved. He raised that leg and curled it up and around David. Pulling him nearer. His hands snuck under David’s sweater and his fingers teased the warm skin of David’s back. Delicately. Drawing invisible shapes there.

David pressed against him. Their kiss intensifying. One hand pressed against the couch, holding him partially up. The other hand up in Patrick’s hair. The pads of his fingers massaging Patrick’s scalp.

His hips rocked forward, meeting the movement of Patrick under him. His body responding to Patrick as it always did.

Suddenly, a very loud _RAP - RAP - RAP_ came from the store. It roused them from their lusty state. Someone was knocking loudly on the glass of the front door.

David pulled his lips away from Patrick’s. His body went limp onto Patrick. His forehead against Patrick’s shoulder. “Fuck,” he said quietly, knowing that Patrick would never ignore someone needing into the store.

After all, It could be an emergency… or not.

Patrick stirred under him. He pushed David back, encouraging him to sit up.

“I’ll go,” He said as he stood. He made sure his shirt was tucked in neatly, then he pressed his hand against his crotch. Took a deep breath and ducked around the curtain that separated the office from the store.

He left David, frustrated, alone on the couch.

++++++

Patrick rounded the register counter to join Alexis. He leaned back against it as the two of them watched David and Ted talk in the corner across the store.

David was showing him the natural self-care products. Toothpaste, deodorant.

“You know,” Patrick leaned against Alexis. Leaned his shoulder against hers. “That toothpaste tastes like dirt.”

“So nasty,” She agreed. She leaned her head to the side, resting it against Patrick’s head. “He insists on taking all of this stuff, as though the hotel won’t have plenty for us.”

Patrick made a face of concern. Stood up straight, turned, and looked at her. “I wasn’t aware that you were staying at a hotel when you got there, Alexis. Ted told me you all had living quarters on the campus. Where he’s going to be working.”

She flipped her hair. “I think that’s just what they call it? Living quarters? I think it’s like a hotel. Right? It’s like a hotel, Patrick?”

Patrick shrugged. He wasn’t sure what to say to her. He didn’t want to burst her bubble, but he also wanted to be sure she knew what she was going to face.

He was struggling with the idea of Alexis moving so far away. She’d become to him the sister he’d never had. The sister he’d always wanted. He felt very protective of her. He, in all honesty, was concerned about her leaving. He had tried to talk to David about it. He could tell David was struggling, too. But he couldn’t get David to admit it.

“Maybe you need to ask Ted.” He leaned back against the counter. Looked out of the corner of his eye at Alexis who was suddenly twisting the rings on her fingers. Patrick realized, for the first time, that she did that. Like her brother did when he was worried.

“Alexis?” Patrick whispered. He reached a hand out. Rested it on her shoulder. “Are you sure you want to go?”

She never took her eyes off Ted while she nodded her head quickly, making the sound he knew all too well, “Mmhm. Mmhm. Mmhm.”

“Because, you know… if you’re not sure, you could just go for a short while and test it out…” Patrick said. “Buy a round-trip ticket? Nothing says you can’t come home if it doesn’t… you know… work out.”

“Yeah. No. I already have a one-way ticket. I want to go.” Alexis spoke to Patrick, but her eyes were glued on Ted. “It’s just… “

Patrick waited.

Alexis did not continue.

“Well…” Patrick said, “I’m sure it will be an adventure. You like those, right? You’ve told me a lot about your adventures.”

She nodded her head. Her eyes had shifted to David.

Patrick watched her… as she watched her brother… as he talked to Ted. 

“I’m going to really miss you, Alexis.” Patrick told her honestly. “I think David is really going to miss you.”

She looked at Patrick, “No. He won’t.”

++++++

“Ouch. Be careful, David!” Patrick pulled away from him in a move of self-protection.

“Stop,” David chastised him. “It’s just little makeup.”

“I know it’s just makeup. I’m not worried about the makeup.” Patrick told him, still leaning away from him. “I’m afraid you’re going to poke that thing in my eye.”

“It’s just eyeliner. And I won’t poke your eye if you’ll sit still.” David, hand on Patrick’s shoulder, pulled him closer. “Now, look up and hold still.”

Patrick, leaned closer to him and looked toward the ceiling while he faced David. Working to trust that David’s hands would be steady as he ran the black eyeliner under Patrick’s right eye. While he ran the cotton swab along the same path to smudge it.

David’s face, very close to Patrick’s was serious. One hand settled on Patrick’s face and pulling his skin taught so that the liner would go on in a smooth swoop.

It was the first night of full-dress rehearsal and they’d locked up the store in good time and made their way quickly to Patrick’s apartment so David could do his makeup before he had to get to the theater in Elm Glen.

David had most of his makeup finished, but was working to perfect the eyeliner. Patrick was having none of it.

“Makeup is not a bad thing.” David told him.

“I know that. I’ve been in other productions, David. I’ve worn stage makeup. This is not a problem for me.” Patrick didn’t hide the irritation in his voice. “And I know how to put on my own stage makeup.”

“Hold still,” David told him.

“I don’t know why I can’t put mine on at the theater like everyone else is doing.” Patrick grumbled.

“You know you won’t put it on the way my mother and I discussed. I need to do it,” David, hand on his hip, argued with him.

“I just…. I hate it when things get that close to my eyes.” Patrick pulled his head away from him.

“I will be gentle with you,” David told him.

“And while we’re at it… why do I have to be dressed like this for you to put the makeup on me. My costume is at the theater.” Patrick said, indicating his body as he stood in front of David nude with the exception of the black jockstrap.

“Because, you’re sexy as fuck in that black jockstrap,” David said. Then he added, “It’s as close to the full image as I’m going to get since you left the costume there.”

“Your mom didn’t want me bringing it home. She worried that something would happen to it.” Patrick told him.

“Hold still,” David told him again.

And so, Patrick sat there. Perched on the desk near his bed, because as David said, the natural light through the window helped him check for flaws in application. And he held as still as he could and put his faith into David. Faith that David wouldn’t stick the mascara wand, he was suddenly wielding, into his eye.

He held his breath and pulled his lips into his mouth as he concentrated on Patrick’s lower lashes. His hand steady and sure. He put on a second and then third coat.

He tucked each item back into the makeup bag he had assembled for the cause. “Now, you need to tuck this into your bag and have it with you. But remember to bring it home so I can help with it every night,” David told him.

David stood between his knees and Patrick playfully wrapped his legs around David’s body and linked his bare feet together behind David’s thighs. David’s hands first rested on Patrick’s bare shoulders, but then drifted down his arms. Rubbed his thighs. His thick, muscled thighs. _God_ , he loved those thighs _. Fucking tree trunks._

“I wish I didn’t have to go,” Patrick murmured.

“You look very sexy with this makeup on,” David wiggled an eyebrow.

“Maybe I’ll see you tonight. I don’t have to wash it off,” one side of Patrick’s mouth pulled back into a sly smile.

“Though I would like that very much?... I think I need to be on-call in case Mom needs me?” David told him. “However… I would certainly be open to… a raincheck…? On the idea of this… (He circled his hand in front of Patrick’s made-up face)… over there… (He circled his hands in the general direction of the bed).”

++++++

He wasn’t used to spending so much time alone. Not in the last two months, anyway. Normally, his time was occupied with checking in on his mother, or talking with Stevie through her anxiety over performing, or spending time with Patrick, or listening to his sister rattle on about the Galapagos.

But the past couple of days or so were just completely different.

His mother had made it clear once the costumes were completed, once the marketing was set, there was no need for David to continue to go to meet with her before or during the rehearsals. She had, suddenly, asked him to steer clear.

_Daaaavid…Your services are no longer required._

She had said she wanted him to see the full production on opening night and not a moment before.

And so, while his dad puttered around the motel and occasionally walked into his room to check on him or pass the time with idle commentary on the state of his room… or the motel… or… life… David listened to music on his head phones.

He flipped through a June 1983 edition of _Sassy Gal_ magazine.

He gave himself a manicure.

He texted with Patrick between scenes.

He deep conditioned his hair.

He checked in with Amy.

And he did some journaling.

All in all, it wasn’t a bad evening of self-care and rest.

And he was looking forward to the next day. He was going to get to sleep in!

Patrick had asked to take him for a picnic and told him that he could stay home all morning. Patrick would take care of everything. He would work the store alone in the morning and then swing by the motel to pick up David. Then they would head out to the picnic. When David had asked him where they were going, Patrick had told him it was a little place outside of town that would give them some privacy.

David was thrilled. It was unexpected for Patrick to want to take a little time off of work to spend time together doing absolutely nothing. A picnic during this busy time was something they would both enjoy.

He wondered what park was outside of town. Maybe he was taking him down by the creek where they used to go. Or maybe that little park over near Elmdale. The one with the park benches and the willow treas. The one with the field of wildflowers. 

++++++

The phone buzzing on his bedside table woke him.

_My Emcee (11:53 pm):_

‘I’m home’

_You (11:53 pm):_

‘Later than expected’

_My Emcee (11:53 pm):_

‘Your mom had me and the gals stay after to go over the Willkommen dance a few times’

_You (11:53 pm):_

‘I bet you’re exhausted’

_My Emcee (11:54 pm):_

‘pretty tired’

_You (11:54 pm):_

‘Sleep tomorrow.’

‘I’ll take care of the store.’

_My Emcee (11:54 pm):_

‘I’m OK’

_You (11:54 pm):_

‘We can picnic another day’

_My Emcee (11:55 pm):_

‘No’

_You (11:55 pm):_

‘Seriously. You rest tomorrow’

‘You have another dress rehearsal tomorrow night’

_My Emcee (11:55 pm):_

‘David’

_You (11:56 pm):_

‘And then you have a week of productions’

‘We can picnic when the run is over’

_My Emcee (11:56 pm):_

‘David’

_You (11:56 pm):_

‘You’re going to be exhausted’

_My Emcee (11:56 pm):_

‘DAVID’

_You (11:56 pm):_

‘What?

_My Emcee (11:57 pm):_

‘I’ve been looking forward to being alone with you.’

_You (11:57 pm):_

‘OK. You rest at home and I’ll bring lunch to you.’

_My Emcee (11:57 pm):_

‘David.’

_You (11:57 pm):_

‘Patrick.’

_My Emcee (11:57 pm):_

‘There you are.’

‘Hi.’ *Face blowing a kiss emoji*

David smiled at his phone. He loved when Patrick used a well-placed emoji.

_You (11:58 pm):_

‘Hi.’

_My Emcee (11:58 pm):_

‘I’m looking forward to taking you on a picnic tomorrow.’

‘I stopped at the chocolatier in Elmdale and bought those new little hazelnut things you like.’

_You (11:58 pm):_

‘Ooo. I like those.’

_My Emcee (11:58 pm):_

‘I know you do’

_You (11:58 pm):_

‘What else are we having?’

_My Emcee (11:59 pm):_

‘I picked up a couple of different cheeses.’

_You (11:59 pm):_

‘Soft or hard?’

_My Emcee (11:59 pm):_

‘You told me soft cheeses don’t travel well for picnics.’

_You (11:59 pm):_

‘You listen so well.’

_My Emcee (11:59 pm):_

‘I try.’

_You (12:00 am):_

‘Bread or crackers?’

_My Emcee (12:00 am):_

‘Both.’

_You (12:00 am):_

‘What else?’

_My Emcee (12:00 am):_

‘That’s not enough?’

_You (12:00 am):_

‘Patrick’

_My Emcee (12:01 am):_

‘David’

_You (12:01 am):_

‘I know you. There’s more.’

_My Emcee (12:01 am):_

‘It wouldn’t be a picnic without a smattering of sides, would it?’

_You (12:01 am):_

‘That’s a good boy.’

_My Emcee (12:01 am):_

‘Stop’

_You (12:02 am):_

*Winking face emoji* *Farmer emoji* *Eggplant emoji*

_My Emcee (12:02 am):_

‘I’m going to get in the shower.’

_You (12:02 am):_

‘Have you washed your face yet?’

_My Emcee (12:02 am):_

‘No. Why?’

_You (12:02 am):_

‘Selfie, please?’

_My Emcee (12:02 am):_

‘My makeup is smeared and partially rubbed off from the sweat.’

_You (12:03 am):_

‘Exactly’

_My Emcee (12:03 am):_

‘What am I going to do with you?’

_You (12:03 am):_

‘I can think of a few things.’

‘But first, a selfie.’

‘Please, Mr. Brewer.’

_My Emcee (12:03 am):_

*Patrick sent David a selfie, lipstick mostly gone except for the smear that blended with the fading light foundation under his bottom lip, on his chin. Eyeliner smudged. Mascara smudged.*

_You (12:03 am):_

‘very sexy’

_My Emcee (12:04 am):_

‘OK. I’m getting in the shower now.’

_You (12:04 am):_

‘Touch yourself for me, Daddy.’

_My Emcee (12:04 am):_

‘David.’

_You (12:04 am):_

‘?’

_My Emcee (12:04 am):_

‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

_You (12:05 am):_

‘I’ll be here if you want to talk after your shower.’

_My Emcee (12:05 am):_

‘I’m going to go to sleep after my shower’

_You (12:05 am):_

‘Smell my shower jell when you touch yourself’

_My Emcee (12:05 am):_

‘David.’

_You (12:05 am):_

‘I know you do that.’

_My Emcee (12:05 am):_

‘Good night, David.’

_You (12:06 am):_

‘Because you told me you do that’

_My Emcee (12:06 am):_

‘Get some sleep, David.’

_You (12:06 am):_

‘Imagine my mouth on you like it was the other night when we showered.’

_My Emcee (12:06 am):_

‘I’m putting the phone down now.’

_You (12:07 am):_

‘Good night, Mr. Brewer.’

_My Emcee (12:07 am):_

‘See you tomorrow.’

‘You will love our picnic.’

_You (12:07 am):_

‘I’m sure it will be lovely.’

‘providing the food is all that you say it will be’ 

_My Emcee (12:07 am):_

‘Good night, Babe.’

_You (12:07 am):_

*Face blowing a kiss emoji*

++++++

He didn’t open the store.

He didn’t tell David.

He knew that, first, David would be resting and hanging out at his place and wouldn’t check on the store. And, second, even if David did find out, he wouldn’t care. They were doing well. In all honesty, the bulk of their sales were online and Patrick could fill those orders quickly the next day.

Instead, he woke up early and took a run. He’d been running a lot the last few weeks. He found that the more he ran, the better his endurance when he was singing and dancing on stage.

His lungs worked hard while he ran. But it also helped to clear his brain. Running always did. Hiking allowed him to think. Running took it all away. He played upbeat songs and let his feet pound the pavement to the beat of the music.

He counted the steps. One. Two. Three. Four. One. Two. Three. Four. And the rhythm and the counting? They just cleared his brain of the stress. Of the worry. The tiny little worry at the back of his brain. Worry about how David would receive a proposal.

After he ran his typical pattern, first running the perimeter of the town, then running up and down the streets until he wove his way all the way to the Apothecary, he decided to sit at the counter at the café and have a good, hearty breakfast.

Twyla chatted with him between customers. Talked with him about dress rehearsal. He’d always liked Twyla, but their relationship had taken on another level with the amount of time they’d spent together in rehearsal.

She had a good singing voice. Several times, when they were on a 15-minute break, he would sit at the piano at Town Hall and play a song and she’d sit with him and sing harmony. She certainly was a better dancer than Patrick felt like he was. She was dedicated to their practice sessions and was always upbeat and encouraging. She was easy-going and hard-working. He really enjoyed his time with her.

After eating his eggs, hash browns, sausage. After drinking a nice cold glass of juice, he asked Twyla for a hot tea to go. She brought his order out to him. The order he’d called in the day before to be picked up that morning. The order of potato salad… for three… because Patrick knew David would want a double serving. The order of antipasto that was new to the menu and David had particularly liked when he tried it. He paid his bill, left a nice tip, and headed over to the Apothecary. Not to open it, but to pick up a few more things for the picnic.

When he returned home, he showered and began to gather everything he’d wanted to take with them and put them on the table: Grandma’s quilt, the ice packs, the food, the champagne. He leaned his guitar, in its case, next to the table.

When he saw it all there, laid out in front of him, he knew it wouldn’t all fit. It was a lot. But there was no way he was going to take David all the way up there, make David hike all the way up there, without making sure they had everything he would need to be comfortable.

He put Grandma’s quilt back on the bed and dug into a box in his closet for a thinner, smaller blanket. He began to pack.

Stood back. Hands on his hips and eyed the full bag and the stack of food and ice packs next to it on the table. He knew he was going to need to use something else. There was so much more to bring.  
  
He wasn’t sure what to do. He only had the one back pack.

That’s when he heard her shut her door in the hallway. He quickly opened his door and called out to her before she went down the stairs.

“Hey, Katie? Do you have a backpack I could borrow?”

++++++

David sat with his hands in his lap as they drove out of town. Patrick seemed off, somehow. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he wasn’t his normal Patrick. He was quiet. Fidgety.

He was probably nervous about the show. Though he knew that Patrick had been in a dozen or so productions in his life, he didn’t know what kind of mood Patrick was in before he performed in one.

David also felt like Patrick was probably exhausted. He’d been burning his candle at both ends, as his mother would say. David felt guilty, again. Even though Patrick had assured him the night before that he didn’t want David going into the store. Promised David that he could enjoy a morning at home and not work. David should have insisted on working and encouraged Patrick to rest.

“Are you upset with me?” David asked him.

“No. No. Why would I be upset?” Patrick asked.

David noticed that his voice was a little shaky.

“Because I didn’t work this morning,” David told him.

“David, I told you…”

David cut him off. “I know. I know. You just seem…”

“Sorry,” Patrick told him. “Just have some stuff on my mind. I’ll shake it off.”

“Everything all right at the store this morning?” David asked.

“Just fine. Quiet morning.” Patrick told him. Which was the truth. Sort of.

“Ohhhh, Patrick. There’s that house again!” David said as he pointed over his shoulder at the house they passed.

“What do you like about it? Every time we go past it, you mention it.” Patrick looked in his rearview mirror to catch a glimpse of it.

“It’s nice. A cute little thing. Like Kate Winslet’s cottage.” David said.

“How do you know what Kate Winslet’s house looks like?” Patrick asked.

“No. In the movie. The Holiday. It’s a cute little cottage… That place looks a lot like it.” David told him.

“Mmm.” Patrick nodded. Eyes on the road. Trying to figure out what he was going to tell David when David figured out there was going to be a hike before the picnic.

“I’m very hungry. Looking forward to this picnic.” David told him.

“Did you eat breakfast?” Patrick asked. Hoping David had something in his stomach. The hike would take a while. Patrick could usually do it in about a half hour, but with David along they would likely be a little slower.

“I had a cinnamon roll… or two.” David said as he looked out the side window. Watched the trees pass. He was happy to be with Patrick. It felt like it would be the calm before the storm. A moment of them having a leisurely lunch at the park before the craziness of the coming week of productions.

He hoped that Patrick had put the guitar in the trunk. It would be a nice day to lay in the sun and nap while Patrick played.

“Good. Good.” Patrick said quietly. He gripped the steering wheel.

They were quiet.

“How about we listen to some music?” David asked. He reached for his phone and selected a play list. Adjusted the car’s speaker volume.

++++++

“Hey. You’re gonna love this. Trust me.” Patrick told him as he turned to head toward the trail.

Leaving David behind to mutter under his breath, “Will I?”

Patrick had decided to just go. He knew that David would follow.

If he walked with David, beside David, he would likely try to talk Patrick into turning back or veering from the plan of the hike.

So, he uncharacteristically walked ahead of him. At a pace that was brisk. Forcing David to rush to keep up.

He listened for him. Knew he was following.

Knew he was following because David grunted. And groaned. And whined. And sighed. And mumbled to himself. And complained out loud to Patrick.

And Patrick kept going.

++++++

_This was a stupid idea._

_Why did I plan to do this up here?_

_This place means something to me, not him._

_Was it selfish for me to want to bring him up here?_

_He has no idea what we’re doing here. He’s miserable._

_Maybe I should just turn us around._

_Damnit. I’m just trying to do something nice for him._

_He’s never going to be happy about a proposal if I make him miserable on the journey there._

_I might as well have proposed at the damn ropes course._

_What were you thinking, Brewer?_

Patrick’s mind raced as they walked up the trail. He couldn’t help it. He could tell how miserable David was. He was frustrated he’d even thought that it was a good idea to make David go through all of it.

Then he reminded himself how important that spot was. How David didn’t even know how important that spot was to their relationship. How he wanted to share it with David.

++++++

_Damnit._

_Damnit. Damnit. Damnit._

He leaned on David as he hopped toward a place to sit down.

As David tended to him. As David checked his foot. Patrick’s mood became foul.

_This is all wrong. I can’t do this. I can’t propose now. I’ve messed it up. There’s nothing romantic about this._

He was disappointed and angry at himself. “I want to go home David. This whole day’s been a bust.”

He’d cry if he wasn’t so darn mad at himself. They’d go back down. Get in the car. Eat at his place. He’d propose to David later in the weekend. Maybe fix him a nice meal. Eat by candle light. Give him some flowers.

_Something different than this._

_Some setting that was… more David. Less Patrick._

_Less Patrick._

“Well, that’s not happening, so…” David kicked into gear. Taking care of him. Knowing that when Patrick’s mood turned dark, he needed David to take control of the situation.

He watched David pull the hand sanitizer from his pocket.

“What’s that?” He asked. Though he knew was it was. Knew David had it with him all the time.

As David tended to him, he talked calmly. Frankly. As if none of this was any big deal. “It’s hand sanitizer. It can be used as a disinfectant. Think I’d come to a picnic without it?”

And… just like that… Patrick began to calm.

In his mind flashed the memories. That very first road trip when they’d stopped at their first stop at the Alpaca farm. _HANDS_. David had insisted Patrick offer out his hands to be squirted. He thought through that first road trip. When he spent the whole day with David. Getting to know him. David beginning to open up to him, like a flower slowly loosening its pedals into a bloom. Thought about how that hand sanitizer was with them the entire journey.

David looked up at him. Knew his sweet boyfriend was struggling with something. Assumed it was stress over the impending production.

David was resigned to salvage whatever this mess of a day was that Patrick had planned.

His voice softened further and he told him, “I’m sorry for not appreciating you enough today…”

++++++

As they walked, David kept his eyes on him.

_He sometimes gets so pouty. Little pouty boy. I need to ask Marcy if he did that as a child when things didn’t go his way. I have no doubt he did._

_Look at that ass. Fuck, I love that ass._

_Oh god, don’t step on that…. God I thought he was going to step on that twig. We’d have another incident on our hands._

_He’s going to be so good in this production._

David thought about the production. He honestly was looking forward to seeing him perform.

He thought about Patrick’s parents. They were going to arrive on Saturday afternoon. David had reserved tickets for the three of them that night. Then they’d spend Sunday with them before they headed home and Patrick headed back to the theater for the early evening performance.

He smiled at him as Patrick slowed and looked over his shoulder.

“Everything OK back there?” Patrick asked as he continued up the trail.

“Just enjoying the view!” David said cheerily.

++++++

_I don’t know. I don’t want him to ever look back on this day and think that it was ruined. I don’t want the story we tell others to be about how I messed it all up._

_Maybe I shouldn’t propose. It’s just… it’s just not perfect_

_He deserves it to be perfect._   
  
_No. It’s me. I need it to be perfect._

_We’ll get up there and look around and then head back down. I can propose another day. Another way._

_This is not good enough._

++++++

“David, I’m not getting on your back,” Patrick shook his head. His voice resolute.

“You know I can hear her, right? She’s in my ear already. Telling me that I’ve ruined the whole _fucking show_ by letting you walk up this _fucking mountain_ with an _injured foot_.” David told him. Not backing down. “Now. Get on my back.”

Patrick shook his head.

David put his hands through his backpack, but had it pressed against his chest. He bent his knees. Ready to take Patrick’s weight.

“David.” Patrick’s voice was pouty, again.

David turned and pointed a finger. Jabbed him in the chest. “I will hear no more from you. Get. On. My. Fucking. Back.”

When David turned his back again, Patrick put both of his hands on David’s shoulders and jumped. Jumped up on to his back.

David let out a soft grunt as Patrick’s weight landed on his back.

“Sorry,” Patrick mumbled. Sorry for so many things.

_Sorry for bringing you up here. Sorry for not watching where I was stepping. Sorry for not just doing a nice, simple, predictable proposal. Sorry for weighing what I do. Sorry for being in the production._

_Sorry. Sorry. Sorry._

David began to walk up the trail. “It’s fine.” He said, keeping his words to a minimum to preserve his energy. “I got you.”

++++++

He sat down. Watched David as he took in the view.

“Well, this is nice,” David told him.

“I wouldn’t have made you hike all this way, if I didn’t think it was going to be worth it,” He told David. He forced a bit of a laugh, “I know you a little better than that.”

He’d longed for the time that he would share this space with David. Dreamed about it.

But he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t propose. He’d really messed up the whole damn day.

“OK.” David worked to catch his breath. “So how should I set up the picnic?” He wanted whatever Patrick wanted. He was working hard to get him out of his funk.

David knew that there was a reason he’d wanted to go up there. He wanted Patrick to have his time there. To do whatever it was that was going to comfort him.

Patrick couldn’t. He just… couldn’t. “Yeah… I think it might be a little late for that. Why don’t we… uh… why don’t we just take in the view for a little while and then… uh… we’ll save the picnic for another day.”

He was trying to be positive for David. Trying to not show him that he was upset.

But David knew him. David could see that he was upset. Could see he was trying to be positive. And David knew that if they didn’t work through it, Patrick’s mood would be set for the rest of the day.

So, David insisted.

“I didn’t carry you up a mountain?... not to eat cheese after. So…”

And Patrick knew him. Patrick could see that David was using his sarcasm and humor to help him. Could see he was trying to help Patrick be positive. And Patrick knew that if they didn’t work through it, he would regret missing this moment… in this space… for the rest of the day… maybe for the rest of his life. This was where he wanted to propose.

This place. Because it had meaning to their relationship. Even though David didn’t know that it did. At least… he didn’t know it, yet.

“OK, fine. Um…In the red bag there’s a blanket…”

And David began to pull things out of the bag. And slowly Patrick began to come around.

_I can do this. I don’t want to miss this chance. This is my chance. Do it, Brewer. Do it._

“And… uh… just one more thing. Um. If you go into that… front pocket there… there’s actually something…”

And while David bent to open the front pocket of the backpack, Patrick moved.

Got down on one knee.

Ready.

Ready to change their lives.

++++++

Patrick brushed his hands together and then stood. “Be right back,” He said as he stood.

“What’s wrong?” David squinted his eyes as he looked up at him.

“Call of nature,” Patrick said as he walked back toward the trail.

“What? What’s calling? Patrick don’t go in there.” David’s voice was panicked.

“Call of nature. I have to pee.” Patrick said.

“Ohhh.” David nodded and watched him go.

As he sat there, alone. He thought about Patrick. He looked down at the rings on his fingers and thought about… his fiancé.

He thought about him hiking up to the spot over the past year. Wondered about all the things he pondered while he sat in that very spot and looked out over those trees.

A feeling of self-reproach washed over him as he thought about his behavior on their hike. How he grumbled and complained. How Patrick became upset and ended up hurting his foot. He’d nearly ruined the day for Patrick. David looked over the picnic spread in front of him. Clearly, Patrick had worked hard to ensure it was perfect.

_And I nearly ruined the whole fucking thing._

++++++

Patrick smiled to himself as he peed into the brush just off the trail. He was engaged. And _this time_ … _god_ … it felt right.

He made his way back to David. As he stepped onto the trail and looked ahead, he saw him. Sitting there. Legs tucked under himself. Arms wrapped around himself, crossed over his chest.

_Damnit._

Patrick stood just into the clearing where they had spread out for the picnic and watched him. He whispered, “Turtle?”

David looked up at him. The hint of a wry smile crossed his face.

Patrick moved to stand near him.

David dug into his pocket and pulled out the hand sanitizer. “Hands,” he said.

“I only touched my dick. I didn’t pee on it.” He argued.

“HANDS.” David said again, more sternly.

Patrick dutifully held out one hand for the required squirt of sanitizer. He rubbed his hands together. “You put my dick in your mouth all the time, but my hands are dirty…”

David ignored his protestations, as he always did in such times. He tucked the sanitizer back into his pocket and crossed his arms over his chest again.

Patrick sat beside him. As close as he could get.

He sat beside David, one leg stretched out behind David. The other folded in, tucked between himself and David’s side. “You’re upset.” Patrick said, his voice quiet and free of judgement.

David nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Patrick’s heart sank into his belly. His breath caught. “Tell me. Just say it.”

Worried David was going to back out of his acceptance, Patrick braced himself.

“I’m so sorry I ruined it.” David waved his hand; circled it over the picnic. “You had this whole lovely thing prepared and I ruined it.”

Patrick exhaled in a sort of laugh, “You said yes. How is this ruined?” He reached for David. Wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly. He pressed his lips to David’s temple and kissed him. Over and over and over again.

David leaned into him. Smiled. It felt good to be held by him. He loved those little kisses. They tended to bring him out of a negative mood. “I complained half-way up this mountain.”

“You complained the whole way up here,” Patrick teased him. Then, to lighten the mood, he added, “It’s hardly a mountain.”

“You know what I mean. I was a disagreeable and unpleasant and it caused you to get upset. I understand why you were so upset now. I’m sorry you hurt your foot.” David told him. He reached for Patrick’s knee. Rubbed Patrick’s leg.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore.” Patrick told him. Arms still around him; holding him tightly.

“But you were ready to go back to the car. You wouldn’t have proposed to me today if we’d have gone back to the car.” David told him.

“But…” Patrick kissed him on the temple. On the cheek. “You talked me out of it. You helped me get out of my mood. And we came up here. So, don’t think about it.”

“I ruined it for you.” David said quietly.

Patrick pressed his forehead against the side of David’s head.

“David.” Patrick said the words slowly. His voice quiet in David’s ear. “You said yes to me. I’ve waited for so long to ask you. I imagined all sorts of answers from you. You said yes. You made it perfect.”

David turned in his arms. Tilted his head back slightly so he could focus on Patrick’s eyes. “You thought I’d say no?”

“I thought you’d say yes. But… you know me… I thought through every possible scenario in my mind.”

“Did you think through the possibility of stepping on sharp, thorny, twig?” David rested his hand on Patrick’s chest.

His Patrick. Over thinking. Over preparing, Patrick.

Patrick pressed his lips together in that little smile that makes David’s heart swoon. “No. That one hadn’t occurred to me.”

“Nor did you think of the fact that either one of us could be wounded and would need a first aid kit.” David could not miss an opportunity to tease him in return.

“I suppose it was a good thing you have a compulsion about clean hands,” Patrick pulled him close. Nuzzled his neck.

“Yes, it is,” David smiled as he tilted his head to allow Patrick better access to plant kisses along that spot that felt so good.

++++++

They rested there. David in his arms, leaning against him. Occasionally reaching for a grape. Or a cube of cheese.

Patrick’s hands smoothed over him; never stopping long in one place. Over his chest. Down his arm. His fingers occasionally running through his hair or touching his jawline to rub his stubble.

Both quiet and lost in his own thoughts.

Patrick’s mind focused on their future. They needed a house. He’d like something out of town. Close enough that it was a doable walk, but far enough out that they might… if he talked David into it… get an animal or two.

David’s mind went to Stevie. He couldn’t wait to tell her. She was the first person he wanted to tell.

Patrick watched the hawk fly overhead. Watched it swoop low and fly high again. That’s how he felt in that moment. Free. Strong. Full of possibilities. He was engaged. He was _finally_ engaged.

David saw a hawk fly by. He jerked back quickly as he thought it was going to swoop them and try to grab the food. Patrick’s arms instinctively tightened around him. Patrick would keep him safe. He would _always_ keep him safe. David knew it deep in his soul.

And now? Well… now he knew that he’d be safe for the rest of his life.

+++

End Part 1 of 2

+++


	40. Fiancé (Part 2 of 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way back to the car from their picnic, David learns that something happened with a member his family. David and Patrick go to Patrick's apartment. Patrick gets ready for rehearsal. While Patrick is away, David spends time entering information about the day into his journal. When Patrick comes home from rehearsal, David is waiting for him. They spend the night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place immediately following 5.13. 
> 
> +++
> 
> Here you go.  
> *Winking face emoji*
> 
> -PD
> 
> +++

++++++

As they came down the trail, David’s phone began to vibrate with fervor. Text after text began to come through, once his phone gained reception.

“What the fuck?” David stopped walking and dropped the bag he’d been carrying.

Patrick paused as David began to read the texts.

“What is it?” Patrick asked. His eyes flew over David’s face. His eyes. His mouth. Back to his eyes. He could tell by his face that something was terribly wrong. “David? C’mon, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, god, Patrick. It’s my dad.” David’s fingers swiped over his phone, quickly reading the long line of texts from Stevie.

“What happened? Is he OK?” Patrick asked as he grasped David’s arm. “David!”

David finally exhaled and said, “Yes. Yes. OK. God. It’s OK.”

“David! Tell me.” Patrick tried to look at the phone but David shoved the phone back in his pocket.

“He’s fine. Just indigestion.” David picked up his bag and started walking again.

Patrick, behind him, was left to regain his composure, pick up his own bag, and follow David down the trail.

++++++

David turned in his seat, leaned against the car door. His eyes on Patrick. On Patrick’s arm.

When they had gotten into the car, he’d declared himself too warm for his jacket and so his arms were bare. David eyed the way the muscle in his forearm shifted as his one hand gripped the steering wheel. The way his lips moved, slightly – a little wiggle – as he was obviously remembering something from their picnic that made him happy.

David crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head. He was happy. So happy with this man of his.

Patrick, sensing David’s eyes on him turned to look at him.

Then looked back at the road.

Then back at David.

“What?” He asked David before turning his attention back to the road.

David shrugged. “Just thinking.”

“What are you thinking?” Patrick turned to look at him, again. 

David shook his head. “Nothing special. Eyes on the road, Mr. Brewer.”

Patrick did as he was told. Then asked, “Tell me. Please?” He knew that there was likely a lot going through David’s mind.

Then David decided to tell him. Deciding to be completely honest he said, “Hello. I’m David, this is my _fiancé_ , Patrick.”

Pressing his lips together, Patrick nodded. Thrilled with what he was hearing.

David continued. “That handsome man over there? Oh, yes. That’s _Patrick_. He’s my _fiancé_.”

Patrick turned to look at David before returning his eyes to the road, again. He smiled. He stayed silent.

David was not stopping, “Thank you for meeting with me today. I wanted to introduce to you to Patrick Brewer. He’s my business partner… _and my fiancé_.”

Patrick, overwhelmed with delight at hearing what David had been thinking, didn’t quite know what to say. Uncharacteristically speechless, he reached a hand over to David’s leg. He squeezed his knee.

David unfolded his arms and held Patrick’s hand with both of his.

One more thought sat in the forefront of David’s mind.

 _In for a penny, in for a pound_ , he thought to himself. So, he blurted out one last thing.

“You liked it so much you put a ring on it.” David said.

“I liked it so much I put _four rings_ on it,” Patrick immediately responded.

David turned their hands slightly, so he could look at his left hand…so that it was on top of his and Patrick’s hands. He gazed at the four gold rings.

He brought Patrick’s hand to his mouth and kissed it.

Their hands settled back in his lap; David closed his eyes. Leaned his head against the headrest. Blissfully happy.

“Fiancé,” he whispered.

++++++

David trailed Patrick up the stairs to his apartment. When they stepped inside and dropped their backpacks beside the table, Patrick found himself being pushed back against the door.

One of David’s hands pulling his head close for a kiss while the other hand wrapped around Patrick’s shoulder.

He opened his mouth for David who was taking ownership of the space.  
  
His hands first settled on each side of David’s waist, but quickly moved around David and tucked under the back of his sweater. His fingers massaging David’s lower back.

David pulled his head back only slightly. His body still pressed against Patrick, me moved his lips away from Patrick’s, allowing Patrick to kiss him there. Along his neck. That spot that he liked. 

“Fiancé,” David said on a breathy exhale.

In a low voice, in David’s ear, Patrick took it one step further and said, “Yes. Hello. I’m Patrick Brewer and this is my _husband,_ David Rose.”

David, body still pressing Patrick to the door, pulled his head back so he could look in Patrick’s eyes. “Husband,” he said.

Patrick’s eyes did that thing that they do where he focuses on the animated curve of David’s smiling lips, before he looked up into David’s eyes.

“Husband,” Patrick said. Eyes on David’s lips again. Waiting for him to say it again. So he could see it being said on the lips that he adored.

David knew. Knew that was what Patrick was doing. With a slight curve to his lips, he uttered the word again. Just for him.

“Husband.”  
  
“Whenever you’re ready,” Patrick said as he dragged his eyes up to meet David’s. He nodded. Then added, “Whenever you’re ready to take that step, I am.”

“From fiancé to husband?” David asked him. His eyes staring directly into Patrick’s.

Patrick nodded again. “The timeline is yours to set.”

David, knowing that Patrick was ready for this engagement months before. Knowing that Patrick was always three steps ahead of him, so of course he was ready for marriage, smiled at him and told him honestly, “I don’t want a long engagement. I don’t _need_ a long engagement. I’m ready, too.”

“Then let’s start planning,” Patrick’s heart was beating so loudly he was certain that Katie likely heard it next door.

“Could we do it soon? Like… within the next few months?” David asked him.

“Babe, if you wanted to go down to Town Hall and have Roland marry us right now, I’d go.” Patrick told him honestly.

“Ew,” David recoiled and took a step back. “Don’t even joke about that.”

Patrick chuckled. He reached for David and roughly pulled him close. Kissed him soundly. “I have to shower before I head to rehearsal. But we’ll talk. Anything you want, Babe. It’s yours. We’ll figure it out.”

He planted another solid kiss on David’s lips and released him. Swatted David’s ass as he walked past him and toward the bathroom.

“Honey?” David used a rare term of endearment as he turned and watched Patrick walk across the room.

“Yeah?” Patrick stopped at the bathroom door. Waited. Interested in what would cause David to use such a loving term when they were not in bed, mid-sexual act.

David thought for a moment, leaned back against the apartment door and looked at Patrick before he tilted his head to one side. He pulled half of his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down. Pausing.

Patrick noticed, for the first time, that David’s _right hand_ worried the rings on his _left_. Patrick’s eyes softened as he took in the change. _Fiancé._

David asked, “While you’re in there? Will you… make yourself pretty for me?” David shrugged, then added, “You know… for later?”

“Oh, yeah?” Patrick asked through a grin. Wiggled his eyebrows.

“I mean… that way when you get home, we won’t have to…”

Patrick reached down to the hem of his t-shirt and pulled his shirt up over his head. “I’m never going to make it through rehearsal, now.” He said with a grin as he shut the bathroom door behind himself.

++++++

After taking the time to prepare himself, a couple of times, he stepped into the hot shower. The muscles of his body, having held stress for most of the morning, felt the progressive relief that happens as hot water washes over them.

After he washed his hair, he turned the handle on the shower so the water would get hotter. Then he began to soap his body. Taking extra care to wash the parts of him that he hoped David would spend extra time with later that evening.

As he washed, he thought about him. Thought about what they’d do that night. His dick knew what he was thinking and was starting to show interest. He shut his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his soapy hand. He casually stroked himself as he washed.

The shower stall walls were steamed over as the small enclosed bathroom filled with steam. The hot water beat down on his body. He closed his eyes. He took long deep breaths through his nose; exhaled slowly. Breathing in the hot, thick, damp air of the room.

“Hey, Patrick?”

Patrick jumped when he heard David’s voice. He hadn’t heard the bathroom door open.

“Yeah?”

“I just now noticed your guitar leaning against the table.” David had begun unloading the back packs, storing the food left over from the picnic (what little there was left over), in the refrigerator. He’d noticed the guitar not in its normal place, leaning in the corner. It was in its case and leaning against the kitchen table. As though it was going to be taken somewhere.

“Yeah.” Patrick confirmed that yes, indeed, the guitar was leaning against the table.

“Are you taking it to rehearsal tonight?” David asked him.

Patrick turned his back to the spraying shower head, bent slightly, arched his back, and let the water wash over his ass. Rinsing himself. “Nope.”

“Why is it there?” David asked.

Patrick ran his hand over the door of the shower, wiping the condensation off the glass so he could see David who had lowered the lid of the toilet and was sitting on it.

“I was going to take it today but then didn’t,” Patrick told him.

David’s face contorted and he made a sound.

Patrick took a step back and let the water wash over him. Rinsing his body a final time. He waited for David to have his emotional journey so he could say whatever it was that was bothering him.

“Well, that would have been lovely,” David finally said.

Patrick turned away from David. Let the water wash over his face. Stood back and let the water wash down his chest. He ran his hands down over his dick and his balls. Making sure all the soap was thoroughly rinsed off.

“Are you saying that proposal wasn’t lovely?” Patrick teased. “You cried… so… I’m thinking it was pretty perfect.”

“No. No, no, no. Of course, it was perfect.” David said. Then added, “Did you… do you… have a song that you were wanting to play for me?”

Patrick shut off the water and opened the shower door.

David, sitting there with his hands in his lap and his knees pressed together, looked up at him. His eyes, hungrily trailing over him.

His flesh, pink.

Water droplets running down his body.

David’s eyes following them and focusing on that one droplet of water that was resting there on the end of his slightly erect penis. Waiting. For. It. To… _there it went. It dropped._

Patrick watched him, amused.

David licked his lips as his eyes focused on that part of Patrick that caught his interest.

Patrick waited. Watched David’s face as his gaze meandered up Patrick’s body.

His eyes took their time making their way back up to Patrick’s face.

When their eyes met, with a smirk Patrick asked, “You hungry?” And then Patrick winked at him.

“You’re a _fucking_ tease,” David said before he stood and left the bathroom. Leaving Patrick behind, chuckling as he reached for a towel.

++++++

He lingered in the kitchen. After splashing cool water on his face and patting it with the hand towel that they used to dry dishes, he poured himself a glass of wine. He leaned against the counter and waited for him.

Patrick, body now dry and towel wrapped around his waist, walked across the apartment to his shelves of t-shirts where he stood and pondered what he would wear to rehearsal.

 _As though there are any real options there._ David thought to himself, amused, as he took in the show that is Patrick… fresh from the shower… wearing only a towel.

One of David’s favorite sights.

He set his wineglass on the table as he made his way toward Patrick. He had fought the urge to touch him and then realized there was absolutely no reason to fight it.

_Who cares if he’s a tease? He’s my tease._

_Who cares if he thinks I’m hungry? I AM hungry. I’m fucking ravenous._

He stood behind Patrick. Pressed his body forward as Patrick leaned back against him. David’s hands snaked around Patrick. His hands splayed flat against Patrick’s chest. He lowered his head and ran small kisses along Patrick’s shoulder. His neck.

“I have to go to rehearsal,” Patrick said.

David’s lips near Patrick’s ear, kissed him. Then he asked him, “How much time do you have before you have to leave?”

“Forty-five minutes… or so…” Patrick tilted his head forward. _God_ , he loved when David kissed him there on the nape of his neck.

“Mmm,” David made a sound of approval as his hand brushed over the front of Patrick’s towel before he unwound it from Patrick’s body and let it fall to the floor.

“You still have to help me with my make-up,” Patrick had the presence of mind to say before succumbing to the lips that were trailing over his shoulders.

“Mmhm,” David’s hand wrapped around Patrick’s girth as his lips trailed down Patrick’s back.

Patrick’s head rolled back and both hands reached out to press against the shelving that held his shirts. He wanted to turn and throw David onto the bed, but he knew David wanted to be the one in control. He fought the urge to turn around and forced himself to be patient as David knelt behind him.

He felt David’s hands as they moved down his body to the back of his thighs. His lips first gently kissing his ass cheek. Then he jumped as he felt David’s teeth sink into his flesh.

David loved this back. Broad and smooth. His kissed his way over Patrick’s shoulders and, as he lowered himself so he could rest on his knees, he kissed his way down Patrick’s back. The curve of that spot where his back and his ass meet. A slight kiss on that round ass cheek as his hands settled on those thick thighs. _Fucking tree trunks._

Then he pulled back and looked at his ass.

 _Mine_. He thought. _This is mine._

And he was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to make a mark. He greedily opened his mouth; pulling him in. With his teeth biting down, he sucked strongly on a mouth-full of Patrick’s flesh. Knowing he was marking the soft, pinkness of Patrick’s skin. Knowing he would be marked for several days. Knowing that he’d be dancing in front of hundreds of people that week with this mark, hidden under that sexy little costume.

Patrick, who first jerked when he felt David’s teeth, made a sound of pleasure. When David released him, Patrick arched his back and offered himself up for more. David, smiling to himself, moved over an inch and pulled more of Patrick’s flesh into his mouth. Bit down again and was rewarded with another moan from his fiancé.

David’s hand massaged his other cheek. As he did so, he slid his thumb down the crack that separated Patrick’s perfectly round ass.

He smiled as Patrick moved. Moved to show him what he wanted.

Patrick lifted one knee. Rested it on the credenza that held the shelving. Doing so spread his ass cheeks apart. He was clearly asking David for more.

Patrick leaned forward, his ass out; resting his forehead against the shelving unit. Presented himself to David. Begging for his mouth.

“Please.” The plea came out as a low growl.

 _Oh, god. Yes._ David knew how much Patrick liked it. From the first time his tongue slid along that spot months ago. He knew that Patrick deemed it as “naughty,”… and that he loved it every time David did it.

When he lifted his knee, David knew what he was requesting. And David was happy to oblige.

He used his thumbs to gently spread his cheeks apart. His tongue licked at him. Teased him. Circling him. Entering him.

“David,” Patrick’s voice was shaky. His breathing ragged. He had moved to stroke himself. His thumb rubbing circles over the head of his own cock, damp with the pre-cum that was already forming there.

He could stand it no longer. He knew David was supposed to be in charge, but he needed more. He lowered his knee, put his foot back on the floor, and he turned. Leaned back against the credenza and looked down at David whose eyes were first locked on Patrick’s cock. Then, he looked up at Patrick.

David pulled back when he felt him move. He waited for Patrick to turn around and knew what he wanted. His thick farmer cock was hard and dark. Clearly craving attention.

He looked up the expanse of Patrick. Up his chest and saw him looking down. Eyes hooded with desire.

David sat back on his feet and waited. Wanted for Patrick to express his needs. Teasing him with the wait. Taunting him with his eyes. With the curve of his lips.

“Please,” Patrick whispered.

It was all David needed to hear. In one movement Patrick’s cock was deep in his warm, wet mouth. The suction so strong it caused Patrick’s hips to thrust forward and his head to roll back. One hand gripping the edge of the credenza and the other sliding into the thick mop of messy hair on the top of David’s head.

++++++

After David helped him with his makeup, slipped a water and a protein bar into his bag, and kissed him soundly at the door, Patrick headed out of the apartment for rehearsal.

David sat at the table and flipped through his social media accounts while he finished his glass of wine, now room temperature from having been abandoned while David _tended_ to Patrick.

He made his way to the bathroom where he stripped down and stepped into the hot spray of the shower. His dick, frustrated at having to wait until after rehearsal, begged for attention. His soapy hand stroked it. His thumb rubbed over its head. He thought about how later that evening he’d be sliding it into Patrick’s tight warmth.

Thinking about how it would feel caused him to throb with desire.

He reached for the bottle of Patrick’s shower gel. Opened it and smelled it. Took a deep, long sniff of the woody, spicy scent that _is_ Patrick.

He leaned back against the wall of the shower. The memory crossed his mind. Patrick telling him how he liked to smell David’s soap while he touched himself. He brought the bottle to his nose as he smelled it, again. His soapy hand now moving more quickly up and down the shaft of his arousal.

As he thought about him. Patrick.

His fiancé.

Naked.

Spread out on the bed, ready for the taking.

++++++

He made a small batch of spaghetti, using the sauce he’d frozen that Marcy had sent home with them. He ate a bit with a nice glass of wine. He put the uneaten food in the refrigerator for Patrick to heat up later.

Carrying with him another glass of wine and his journal, he moved to Patrick’s desk. He stared out the window for a moment. Thought about the day and how he might organize and make note of his many thoughts.

First, he flipped to the mood tracker at the front of the journal. There, for every day since the start of his current journal, was a small box. A part of an overall grid. Every day up to the one designated for that day had a notation. A small way for him to look back, without having to read his actual journal entries, to see how his mood changed and shifted over time.

A good tool, his therapist told him, to track how he was doing at a glance since therapy had started. A good visual, she had said, to remind him that bad days don’t generally become bad weeks. That if he had multiple bad days in a row without a specific reason, that it would be a good reminder to talk about it in a therapeutic session.

His lips danced into a slight smile as he thought about the day.

_No. Today was not a bad day. Far from it._

He looked over his options for choices to note the day’s mood.

His options were all able to be marked with his black ink-gel pen.

Not for the first time that month, he noted that he had a day that was as good of a mood as he could note. “Joyful – Happy – Content – Optimistic.”

He drew the tiny little black heart in the middle of the box for the day.

He smirked at his options and thought about how other mood trackers went as high as “Elated – Ecstatic.” Having felt it unattainable to achieve, he’d always left that level off of the color key at the top of each month’s tracker. He’d not ever considered adding that level of mood under his options.

_Until now._

He touched the little black heart with his finger. Pressed down on it, so the wet ink would imprint on his finger. Something he did most days in an effort to keep his notations from smearing.

He turned his hand over and looked at his finger. The tiny shadow of a black heart on the pad of his pointer finger.

He flipped to the page with the day’s date on it; where he kept track of his TO DO list and noted that literally nothing on his list could be marked off, and that was just fine with him.

He moved his pen to the _DAILY Summary_ box and paused. Pondered how to summarize it. He had always been able to summarize his day in the small box he’d created. Something he’d started so long ago.

A small box to not allow himself to dwell in the negative that once was his daily existence. A small box so that he wouldn’t feel pressured to write copious amounts on days when he was depressed. A small box that on days like this one seemed too small for all he had to say.

David had days like that over the course of the past year. Days when the good was so good that he wanted to write more and he had to force himself to summarize. Write enough to be able to remember the details a year or more later when he looked back through his journals, but not so much that his words left the summary box.

His pen began to move as he wrote simply:

++++++

Patrick opened the door to a darkened apartment. The lamp on the desk was lit. But otherwise, the place was dark. He deposited his bag on the table and looked over to the couch where David lay sleeping. iPad laying closed on his belly. Grandma’s quilt draped over him.

He smiled down at David and thought about the conversation they’d had just the day before about the quilt. _Yes_ , David assured him that he planned to use Marcy’s quilt, but it wasn’t soft enough, yet. And the softness of Grandma’s quilt was too good to pass up for a nap.

He’d apparently moved past his feelings about Rachel having used it.

Patrick knelt beside the couch. Moved the iPad off of him and set it on the table near the couch. He rested a hand on David’s chest. Gently shook him. Woke him.

David opened one eye and looked up at him. Makeup still on his face from rehearsal. Eye makeup smeared off to the side where he’d likely wiped the sweat from his brow without doing so carefully.

A small smile crossed his face as he looked at David. His eyes doing that thing that turned David on. Moving from David’s mouth to his eyes and back to his mouth.

No words passed between them. They both knew. Knew what the other wanted.

Patrick shrugged off his jacket and left it on the floor. Purposefully, he reached behind his head and tugged at the back collar of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. Pulled off his shirt. Winked at David as he noticed the smirk on David’s face.

Both of them visiting the memory of those early days on the stairs of Ray’s home.

 _You’re a tease, Patrick Brewer._ David didn’t hide his smile, but he kept the words to himself.

David pushed the quilt down. Kicked it down to the end of the couch. It fell off his feet and onto the floor. He moved one of his legs off the couch. His foot flat on the floor. A silent invitation for Patrick to join him.

Patrick, one knee on the couch near David’s leg, lowered himself over him.

Patrick’s face hovered over him for a moment. Their eyes locked on one another before Patrick moved to kiss him.

David’s hand wrapped up and around Patrick’s neck, pulling him closer. His leg moved to wrap around Patrick’s leg. His hips bucked forward, begging for the pressure of Patrick.

Patrick’s tongue hungrily delved deep into David’s warm, wanting mouth. David’s moan of pleasure vibrated between the two of them as he sucked on Patrick’s tongue.

As David’s hands smoothed down his back, Patrick’s hips began to rock. Firmly. Slowly. A sensual rhythm. Letting David know of his need. His desire for more.

David pressed a hand against Patrick’s chest, encouraging him to sit up. Patrick did as he was being wordlessly told to do. He held out a hand, which David grabbed, and used to pull himself into a sitting position.

He shifted so he was sitting with his back against the back of the couch and in one swoop, Patrick was straddling him. His hands on each side of David’s head, pulling him close. Kissing him again. Deeply; passionately. As though they hadn’t seen one another for months.

Patrick, a soldier come home from war.

David’s hands, first at Patrick’s sides moved between them and up Patrick’s abdomen to his bare chest. His fingers pressed into Patrick’s warm flesh before they moved, again, to press into his back.

As Patrick’s mouth moved - to David’s cheek… his jawline… his neck - David tilted his head to allow Patrick the space he needed. His head rolled back. His eyes closed at the feeling. At the chill that ran down his side as Patrick exhaled near his ear. His hands moved up. Slid up Patrick’s shoulders and hooked over them. Pulling Patrick closer. Closer.

David wanted him. He wanted to be _in_ him. No more hesitations. No more questions. No more worries.

And it wasn’t about the rings on his fingers. He’d made the decision long before the proposal had come.

No more barriers between them. No more.

His hands pressed, again, on Patrick’s chest. Pressed him away.

Patrick knew what it meant. He stood and held out his hand, again, to David. Helped him to his feet.

There, by the couch, they embraced again. This time, Patrick not over him; instead, looking up to him. Looking up to him. Pupils blown wide. His eyes full of desire. His erection pressed against David’s hip, letting him know that his body was aching for more.

David moved. Took a hold of Patrick’s hand and began to walk toward the bed.

When Patrick didn’t move, David looked back at him. Brow furrowed.

Holding his thumb over his shoulder, Patrick pointed at the bathroom behind himself. He spoke his first words since entering the apartment, “Want me to...?”

David knew what he was asking. Patrick had been at rehearsal. Been dancing. Sweating. He had a face full of smudged and faded makeup. Patrick would put it on pause to go clean himself up if David wanted.

David shook his head.

_No._

No, he wanted Patrick exactly as he was. He tugged at Patrick again.

Without a sound, Patrick went willingly with him. Knowing what they were going to do. Knowing that David needed absolutely nothing to break his stride. Nothing to divert his concentration. Nothing to spark the anxiety that could easily rise in his chest at any given moment.

When they reached the space, there between the bed and the desk, Patrick gently grasped the hem of David’s shirt and pushed it up over his head.

They stood; chests pressed together. Skin to skin. Hands roaming as their lips locked, again, in a kiss. Patrick holding back, letting David take control. Knowing the plan; this was his night to drive.

David bent to move his lips along that vein along Patrick’s neck. That one that stands out and calls David’s name.

First his lips, then his tongue ran along it. From the base of his neck to his jaw. He took in the saltiness there. Licked him again. And again. Loved when Patrick had come to him after having worked out. Smelling of pure Patrick. Tasting like a man.

His man.

His _fiancé_.

Patrick turned his head. Wanted David’s lips on his. Wanted David’s tongue.

As their kiss grew in intensity, their hands and bodies moved with fervor. Pants pooled at their feet, David’s underwear and Patrick’s jock strap quickly joined them. David reached for the drawer that held the lube.

Patrick reached for David’s left hand. Reached to take off the rings.

David jerked his hand away. Shook his head.

They stood. Panting. Eyes locked.

_Fiancé._

Reaching for him, Patrick roughly pulled him into an embrace. Pushed him back against the desk. David moved then. Rotated them. Pushed Patrick against the desk so roughly that the framed picture of them fell over.

Patrick kissed him again. His lips persistent in their quest to have more of David. One hand holding the back of his head; grasping a handful of David’s hair in his fist while David’s body pressed against him.

David broke away from the kiss and, a hand on Patrick’s shoulder, turned him. Turned him away so that Patrick’s back was to him. Patrick leaned against the desk. Hands flat on its surface. His breathing rough; unsteady. He shut his eyes as he felt the initial pleasure of David’s lubed finger entering him. He arched his back at the feeling.

David licked up his back. Tasting more of him. The salt from his sweat. He opened his mouth and bit down on him there on the back of his shoulder. Sucking hard enough that he would leave a mark. A mark to match the ones he put on his ass cheek just hours before.

This one, people would see. In the dressing room. When he wore that tight white tank and his straps. Before he put on his jacket, anyone in the dressing room with him would see it. There. On the back of his shoulder.

David bit at him again. Sucked on his flesh.

Marking his man. Marking his _fiancé_.

The sound of him breathing heavily in Patrick’s ear elicited a sound from Patrick that made David want to move them further along. Another finger joined the first. His fingers scissoring, making quick work of the task of opening Patrick for his entry.

David’s cock was hard and ready. He wanted in him; wanted to fuck him and it was taking every ounce of self-control to wait.

Knowing David. Knowing the urgency he felt behind him, Patrick spoke quietly between the ragged breaths he took. “Now, David. Please.” Giving David permission to not fully prepare him. Giving David permission to act on his desire to do it, without hesitation.

David reached for the lube.

Patrick leaned further over the desk. Planted his feet further apart. Presented himself to him.

It wasn’t out of their norm for David to fuck Patrick over the desk. A typical stance for them with David holding onto Patrick’s shoulders while he fucked him, hard. He liked it that way, and Patrick knew it. He liked to fuck Patrick roughly while Patrick faced away from him.

David took a step back.

 _No. Not this time._ This time was different.

He moved. Still roughly. He first pulled, and then pushed Patrick back to the bed. Patrick sat and then lay back. His arousal standing tall, thick, and proud. His legs hung off the side of the bed until David moved between them and Patrick lifted first one foot and then the other to David’s shoulders.

He watched David. His eyes didn’t leave his face. Watched him look down as he ran the head of his cock along Patrick’s opening. Circled him.

Patrick could tell that David was contemplating the next move. Hesitating. Patrick saw it on his face.

“Hey,” Patrick spoke.

David’s gaze moved, then. He locked eyes with Patrick. He struggled for a breath.

Patrick moved his legs. Dropped them and sat up. Hands on David’s hips. He looked up at him.

“Whatever you want, Babe.” Patrick told him. “No pressure.”

David nodded, silent. He bent and pressed his lips to Patrick’s. Patrick slid his hands up to David’s shoulders. Felt David pushing him; encouraging him to lay back.

As he lay back, he brought David with him. David, feet on the floor, bent over Patrick. David’s elbows on the mattress beside Patrick. One of Patrick’s hands in David’s hair. The other rubbing circles on David’s back.

He wrapped his legs around David. Held him near as they kissed. David’s tongue first swiped along Patrick’s lower lip and then slowly, but with firm intention, fucked Patrick’s mouth.

Patrick legs tightened their grip. Pulled him closer so that their cocks lined up side by side and pressed between their bodies. His hips rocked back and forth. Pressing up, against David. And then pulling back. And then up against him.

Again. And again. And again.

David’s head pulled back slightly and Patrick, ever aware of David’s every movement, hyper-vigilant to David’s non-verbal cues, loosened the grip he had on his head. David lifted an eyebrow. Pulled his mouth into a slight grin.

“Fuck me,” Patrick whispered.

He raised one of his feet and rested it against David’s shoulder. His other foot pressed to the edge of the bed, knee out to the side; spread wide for David. Open. Inviting.

His eyes never leaving Patrick’s, David stroked himself; testing the lubrication. He reached for the bottle he’d tossed to the bed. _More lube._

Patrick picked it up, leaned up on one elbow and snapped the lid off. Dripped some of it onto David’s extended right hand. A wordless action they’d carried out countless times. But no time had been quite like the moment they were in.

David slicked the extra lube on himself and moved. Pressed the head of his cock against Patrick’s hole.

Raising his other foot to David’s shoulder, Patrick lowered his shoulders back to the mattress and waited. Watched. Kept an eye on David’s face. He wanted to see David’s face respond to what he was about to feel.

Their eyes were locked on one another. As he pressed into Patrick, he felt the hot, tight warmth of him surround his cock in a way that he had never before experienced. His sensitive head leading the way for the rest of him. The sensation was nearly overwhelming as the heat of Patrick’s body enveloped him in a way that he wasn’t expecting.

His exhale was shaky and short. He paused his movement and gasped for another breath as he looked down. Away from Patrick’s gaze. Looked down to where they were joined. He moved his hips slowly. First, he pulled out slightly and then pushed forward and pressed himself fully into Patrick’s body. His hot embrace.

When his eyes dragged up Patrick’s body to his face, Patrick winked at him. That wink that he gives him to tell him it is all going to be OK.

Patrick had words. So many words. But he knew his man. He knew David. David didn’t need the words. He just didn’t. And that night, it was all about David. For David. So, Patrick remained silent.

David gripped Patrick’s calves as they rested against his shoulders. He moved forward so that he could pump into him. His hands moved on Patrick’s legs to the back of his thighs as he bent over him.  
  
Patrick stroked at his own cock. Ran a thumb over the head to urge out the cum he knew was forming there.

David looked down at him. Mouth open. He licked his lower lip as he eyed Patrick’s hand. Patrick reached up to him, his thumb damp with pre cum. Slid his thumb into David’s waiting mouth. David closed his eyes as he sucked the cum off Patrick’s thumb. Tasted him. Kept sucking, while Patrick’s hand palmed his cheek.

Patrick dropped his hand. He gripped David’s bicep. Shut his eyes for a brief moment and enjoyed the movement of David working over him.

But Patrick didn’t want to lose himself in the moment. Knew David needed him to be aware of each moment. So, he forced his eyes open.

As David pumped against him, pumped into him, Patrick watched him. Watched something wash over his face. Knew that David was slowing his movements. Knew that David was not nearing completion, like Patrick was. Patrick stopped stroking himself. He moved a leg. His right leg falling off of David’s shoulder.

The movement pulled David’s attention. He looked to Patrick. The movements of his hips slowed.

He shook his head. _I can’t._ David thought.

“It’s OK,” Patrick reached for David’s hand. “We can stop.”

David shook his head. He didn’t want to stop.

“What do you need?” Patrick asked him.

David shook his head again. He didn’t know. He knew this wasn’t it. But he didn’t know. He took a step back. Withdrawing from Patrick. A drop of their juices coming with him. He reached down for Patrick’s t-shirt. Wiped himself on it. He quickly swiped the t-shirt between Patrick’s legs, cleaning him.  
  
Patrick moved quickly. Stood. Pulled back the comforter and sheet. Nodded toward the bed.

David, wordlessly, crawled in. Moved to his side and lay facing the ceiling. Closed his eyes. His hands over his face. Waited for him.

As he felt the mattress give way to Patrick. As he felt Patrick’s body move close to him, David turned. Turned toward Patrick and pressed his forehead against Patrick’s chest. Frustrated. Embarrassed.

“Everything’s all right,” Patrick said quietly. Assuming David was on the verge of a panic attack, he added, “You’re safe.”

David didn’t want to give in. Give up. His left hand slid around Patrick. Pressed flat against the base of his spine. He began to kiss him. Small kisses on his chest. Up to his neck.

“David,” Patrick worked to get his attention. His voice soft; comforting. His hand on David’s cheek. “David.”

As David fingers gently curled around Patrick’s waning erection, Patrick felt the rings. Warm metal pressed against him. David’s exhalation near his ear joined with the sensation to cause a zing to run the entire expanse of his body.

“Fuck,” Patrick whispered. He wanted to roll David to his back and take him. But he knew that was not what the night was about.

“Patrick,” David spoke for the first time that night. He pushed Patrick onto his back and moved slightly. David half on his side, half resting on Patrick.

“Hmm?” Patrick asked. Thinking David wanted something.

“No.” David shook his head and whispered. Then said soundly, directly, “Patrick.”

Patrick realized what David wanted. He wanted Patrick to respond in-kind.

“David,” Patrick responded.

Tilted his head a bit so David could continue to do that thing to his ear that he was doing.

They were quiet, only the sound of their breathing.

Until David spoke again.

“Sweetie,” David whispered directly into his ear.

“Babe,” Patrick didn’t hesitate to respond. His hands moving down David’s side.

David moved again. On top of Patrick. Patrick’s legs opened, allowing space for David’s knees. He raised his arms so that David’s elbows could rest at his sides. David’s lips working along Patrick’s shoulder. Up his neck. Patrick’s hands holding onto David’s arms.

And into Patrick’s ear, David said in a soft, breathy sound, “Pooh.” A slight chuckle in his voice.

“Turtle,” Patrick was following him. Following him through their names for one another. Knew instinctively where he was going. Patrick would follow. Willingly.

David’s mouth found Patrick’s. Patrick worked hard to not take control. David did. And it was good. It felt so fucking good.

David tore his lips away and began to kiss the other side of Patrick’s neck. Whispering in his ear, “Baby.”

“My prince. My beautiful, lonely prince.” Patrick lifted his knees. Opening himself up for David. Asking David for more. His feet hooked around David’s back.

David reached for the lube that sat on the nightstand. He popped the lid and squeezed it over his cock between them. He squeezed too hard and more than he intended came out. Dripped over him and down onto Patrick.

David made a small noise of frustration.

Patrick chuckled. “It’s good. It’s good.”

David snapped shut the lid and dropped the bottle beside them.

He hesitated.

Patrick waited. His hands pausing in their movement on David’s back.

He felt David brush against him. Against his hole. Slowly. Back and forth.

“Atta boy,” Patrick said in a low, comforting voice.

And that was what David needed. He determinedly pushed into him and lowered himself over Patrick. His hips purposefully moved back and forth and he looked into Patrick’s eyes with an intensity that shook him.

“Yes,” Patrick encouraged him as his body was rocking from the force of David’s thrusts. “God, David. Yes.”

“Daddy,” David voice was uncharacteristically low, rough.

“Fuck, David. Yes.” Patrick said through ragged breaths as David pounded into him.

The bed rocked.

The. Railing. Of. The. Headboard. Smacked. Against. The. Wall. To. The. Rhythm. Of. The. Hard. Intense. Fuck.

“David…” Patrick’s words came out in a staccato. “I… can’t… hold… back… I’m… gonna…”

And he lost control of the hold he had on himself. He fell into the wave that he’d held at bay. His body stiffened and his strong legs tightened around David. And the groan that started low in his belly came out loudly and echoed through the apartment as cum powerfully spurted out of him.

Up on to David’s chest, down onto his own abdomen. His hand that gripped his own cock, covered with his offering.

And David felt him.

Muscles tightening around David’s cock. A sensation he’s felt many times but not in the same way.

David knew his own climax was coming and he continued to drive himself into Patrick’s quivering body. Patrick’s legs and arms tightened around him was what finally pulled him in. Pulled him into the wave of pleasure that Patrick was experiencing.

He lowered his body and pressed it against Patrick. His face buried into the curve of Patrick’s neck. With one more forceful drive into him, David let out a nearly silent whimper. And his body stiffened and jerked in time with his release.

All while Patrick’s grip on him grew even tighter and he whispered into his ear, “That’s a good boy. Good boy, David. Good boy.”

++++++

David shut out the light as he left the bathroom. He’d insisted they both shower before turning in. They had gotten messy. _Really messy._

Though they’d showered together, David lingered in the bathroom to finish his moisturizing routine. To dry his hair so that it wouldn’t be a fright in the morning. He’d sent Patrick out to change the bottom sheet on the bed. Because… again… _really messy._

Dressed in his cozy black sleep pants and his black t-shirt. He carried his toiletry bag over to his side of the bed. As he walked that way, movement in the kitchen caught his eye. He did a double take and turned to look at him.

Patrick. Naked. Leaning back against the counter near the sink. A storage container of cold spaghetti in one hand. A fork in the other. He winked at David as he shoveled a forkful of the pasta into his mouth.

David circled his hand in the direction of Patrick. “What is _this_?”

He spoke with a mouthful of food, “I’m hungry. Thanks for making spaghetti.” Patrick twisted the fork into the spaghetti to load it up for another mouthful.

“Yes, but…” David shook his head and turned to Patrick’s drawers. Dug through them for something for him to wear. “You can’t stand there, all exposed like that in your little kitchen, eating cold spaghetti from the storage container.”

“Why not? It’s good.” Patrick crammed the large amount of spaghetti into his mouth.

David, bent over, selected Patrick’s blue-striped pajama bottoms. Stood up and pulled a t-shirt from the shelf. “You. Are. Stark-naked.”

“You like me naked,” Patrick thrust his hips and chuckled as his big, showy, farmer dick and balls swung back and forth.

David pulled his lips into his mouth as he walked toward him. He held the clothing out to Patrick. “Get dressed.”

“I like to sleep naked. You know that.”

“But you’re not sleeping right now. Are you?” David held out the pair of thin cotton pajama bottoms.

Patrick shook his head stubbornly.

“If you were just going to bed, I’d be… _more than fine_ … with you being… _unclothed_. But not this. Not standing in the kitchen in the middle of the night, unceremoniously shoveling food into your mouth, after we’ve just had a profoundly impactful sexual encounter.” David unfolded the pajama pants and held them low near Patrick’s feet.

Patrick stepped first one foot and then the other into the pair of pants and David tugged them up Patrick’s legs. Covering him.

David reached for a paper towel. Dampened it at the sink and then wiped the spaghetti sauce that had dripped to Patrick’s chin and chest.

Patrick looked at him and grinned. Eyes dancing like a mischievous child’s.

David shut his eyes and shook his head. “Sometimes I wonder how this?” David circled his hands in front of Patrick, “Came from those two parents of yours.”

“You love me,” Patrick said. He put another fork-full of spaghetti into his mouth.

“That’s accurate,” David took the fork from Patrick and swirled it into the bowl. Retrieved his own mouthful of the pasta.

They stood. Both chewing their food. Silly grins on their faces.

“You agreed to spend the rest of your life with me,” Patrick took the fork back and took another bite. Then swirled the fork to put more spaghetti on it.

Offered the bite… the last bite… to David.

“Mmhmm,” David opened his mouth for the forkful that Patrick gave him before Patrick dropped the fork and empty bowl into the sink.

David unfolded Patrick’s t-shirt and held it out for him. Patrick dutifully pulled it over his head.

David wiped first Patrick’s mouth, then his own with the paper towel and tossed it into the trash can.

Patrick finished the glass of milk he’d poured for himself. Rinsed the glass and filled it with water and handed it to David who dutifully drank a few swallows. Patrick finished off the water.

David moved toward the bed and stopped when he realized Patrick was walking in the opposite direction.

“Where are you going?”

“Gettin’ my guitar,” Patrick told him. He leaned behind the chair near the bathroom and reached for the guitar case. Set it on the couch and opened it. 

“Sweetie. It’s after 1 am.” David told him, though not completely against the idea of a late-night serenade to put him to sleep. He made his way to the bed. Looked it over to make sure that Patrick had, in fact, changed the sheets. He had.

“Wanna hear a song?” Patrick grinned at him. Guitar strap over his shoulder. He picked at the strings and turned the tuning pegs.

“Always.” David adjusted his pillows behind his back and pulled the comforter up to cover his legs. Hands in his lap.

Patrick settled on his side of the bed, facing David. Legs crossed under himself.

“You were going to bring it today. Sing to me up there.” David said.

“Yeah,” Patrick’s fingers started playing some notes. That little thing he does on the strings. Starting to play a song long before he began to sing it.

“Why didn’t you?” David asked him.

Patrick shrugged, “Too much food. Needed a second bag.”

“So you chose to bring all my favorite foods over bringing your guitar and serenading me,” David clarified.

“I know. It was a real Sophie’s Choice,” Patrick teased with a grin.

His fingers still playing notes. Notes that David felt like he should know. Felt like he did know, but wasn’t sure what they were.

“Whenever you’re ready, Mr. Brewer,” David’s right hand reached for Patrick’s foot. Held on to it. Squeezed it.

[He played the first few notes and then Patrick began to sing. ](https://youtu.be/qF0SZSNtClE)

_That first night we were standing at your door  
Fumbling for your keys, then I kissed you  
Ask me if I want to come inside  
'Cause we didn't want to end the night  
Then you took my hand, and I followed you_

_Yeah, I see us in black and white  
Crystal clear on a star lit night  
In all your gorgeous colors  
I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life  
See you standing in your dress  
Swear in front of all our friends  
There'll never be another  
I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life_

_Now, we're sitting here in your living room  
Telling stories while we share a drink or two  
And there's a vision I've been holding in my mind  
We're 65 and you ask  
"When did I first know?" I always knew_

_Yeah, I see us in black and white  
Crystal clear on a star lit night  
In all your gorgeous colors  
I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life  
See you standing in your dress  
Swear in front of all our friends  
There'll never be another  
I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life_

_I want the world to witness  
When we finally say I do  
It's the way you love  
I gotta give it back to you  
I can't promise picket fences  
Or sunny afternoons  
But, at night when I close my eyes_

_I see us in black and white  
Crystal clear on a star lit night  
There'll never be another  
I promise that I'll love ya_

_I see us in black and white  
Crystal clear on a star lit night  
In all your gorgeous colors  
I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life  
See you standing in your dress  
Swear in front of all our friends  
There'll never be another  
I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life_

_There'll never be another  
I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life_

As he sang, David’s hand moved. Moved from Patrick’s foot to his knee. From his knee to his thigh.  
  
Tears sprung to David’s eyes, but they didn’t veer from holding Patrick’s gaze. He pressed his lips together. His face grew warm. He blinked rapidly. He swiped at a tear that fell down his cheek.

He would never tire of it. Never, for the rest of his life, tire of Patrick singing a new song to him. Tire of Patrick sorting through all the songs out there to figure out the one he wanted to use that would convey his emotions. His thoughts.

The apartment fell silent after he sang the last note.

David leaned forward, as did Patrick, for a shared kiss. Sweet. Brief. Lips brushing against lips.

“Thank you. It was perfect,” David told him.

Patrick made that face. The one where the corners of his mouth turns down just a bit and his eyes soften. That face that doesn’t hide the fact that he’s moved. Touched that what he’s done has been well received.

David adjusted his pillow and rested, on his side. His hand swatted at Patrick’s knee and he said, “One more time, please.”

Patrick, whose fingers had never left the strings, continued to play and started the song all over again.

++++++

He was awake. There would be little sleep for him. Not that night.

His mind raced.

_Fiancé. He’s my fiancé._

He had cat-napped a bit. Drifted to sleep as Patrick held him after the serenade. But falling into a deep sleep was out of the question.

He’d been up a time or two. He’d drank a couple more glasses of water and made sure he’d used the bathroom plenty of times. He knew the importance of flushing out his system in order to avoid any sort of UTI. He’d read a lot about it. _A lot._ He wasn’t necessarily worried, but it was important to take steps of prevention.

He’d sat at the desk with his phone’s flashlight on; hoping to not disturb Patrick who seemed to be sleeping soundly. Likely he hadn’t slept well the night before with worry about the proposal. At that moment, he was snoring loudly and one of the snores was accompanied by a little mumble that David couldn’t quite figure out.

He’d added to his journal entry that, for the first time in his life, he’d entered a man without a condom.

Though the calendar date had technically changed to the day after the proposal, he felt like if he hadn’t yet gone to sleep the journal entry could technically go on the same day as the proposal. And he liked that it did.

Though one didn’t have anything to do with the other, he liked that they were connected.

His pen began to move. No fancy language. No storybook trope. Just the simple entry:

++++++

Patrick turned in his sleep and his arm reached for David as it always did.

“David?” He said quietly when he felt the absence of him.

“I’m here,” David shut his journal and turned off the flashlight on his phone.

“Can’t sleep?” Patrick rubbed at his eyes with the palm of his hand.

“Just letting my brain settle down,” he stared out the window. Looked down to the street light outside the window.

“Come to bed?” Patrick asked him.

David nodded. He stood and moved to stand beside the bed. On Patrick’s side. “Scoot over.”

“David, sleep on your own side.” Patrick told him.

“Your side is warm,” David protested.

Patrick mumbled something about sides of the bed, but moved over. Mostly to just the middle of the bed, not fully committing to sleeping on David’s side.

David settled himself under the covers and sighed. He loved getting into the bed when Patrick had warmed it up for him. He breathed in deeply, inhaling Patrick’s scent.

Patrick leaned up. His right elbow under himself. His head resting in the palm of his right hand. “Tell me what you’re worried about.”

David looked up at the ceiling and shook his head. “Not worried about anything.”

“You want to take it back?” Patrick asked him directly. His eyes on David’s face.

“ _Whhhhat?!_ Take what back, Patrick?” David rolled onto his left side, up on his elbow. He was face-to-face with Patrick.

++++++

Patrick had been worried about it. Deep in the recesses of his mind he’d worried. Sure, he’d thought before about the possibility of David saying No. But he’d also worried. Worried a lot about the possibility of David saying yes… and then later telling him that he really didn’t want to get married.

Patrick knew. He knew he had a way of pushing David. Hell, from early on, he was always three steps ahead of David. Knew he wanted to be his business partner. Knew he wanted to date him. Knew he wanted to be his boyfriend. Knew he was prepared to declare his love. Knew he wanted to marry. All of it long before David.

Patrick always just went for what he wanted. And, thus far, David had come along for the ride. But he had to wonder, at what point would David not evolve in his initial position of any of it. At what point would he say, “Listen, Patrick. I love you… but I’m not going to do _that_.”

Patrick worried this was the point. The point where David wouldn’t go where Patrick wanted him to.

So he asked. He had zero filters at 3 am and, so, he just… asked.

“You want to take it back?” Patrick asked him directly. His eyes on David’s face.

“ _Whhhhat?!_ Take what back, Patrick?” David rolled onto his left side, up on his elbow. He was face-to-face with Patrick.

“Agreeing to marry me,” Patrick said simply.

“Why would I want to do _that?!”_ David sounded shocked at the thought of it.

“I don’t know,” Patrick shut his eyes. “I think I’m just tired.”

David sat up in the bed. “No. No, no. You don’t get to drop that and then go to sleep.”

“I don’t want to fight.” Patrick closed his eyes.

“Who says we’re fighting?” David asked.

Patrick rolled onto his back. Looked up at David whose eyes were staring a hole through Patrick’s soul.

Patrick shrugged. Flopped his hands on the bed on each side of himself for effect. “You had some trouble staying focused when we had sex, and…”

David interrupted him. “Having sex _for. the. first. time._ _Without. a. condom_ , Patrick.” David’s finger jabbed at the air between them as he accentuated the words.

Patrick continued, “…And after some really good sex…”

“It was better than good,” David interrupted him again.

“…After some really good sex… you won’t settle in. You can’t sleep. So, I have to wonder if you’re regretting…”

“Patrick.” David stopped him. His hand on Patrick’s chest. “I love you.”

“I know that. I’m not questioning that.” Patrick told him. “But, David, if you don’t want to get married you need to tell me now. I didn’t want you to say yes because it’s what… what _I_ want. If you aren’t there or aren’t ever going to be there, then just tell me.”

David sighed. He had no idea that Patrick would worry about such a thing. Of course, he wanted to marry Patrick. He couldn’t believe that Patrick didn’t just… that Patrick didn’t know it. Like… _really_ KNOW it.

He lowered himself back into the bed. Rested on his left side. Elbow on the mattress. Head in his hand. His right hand splayed across Patrick’s chest. He rubbed him. Comforted him.

Patrick lay there. Eyes closed. He didn’t want to look at him.

“Listen to me, Patrick. I was trying to figure out a way to ask you. Was hoping you’d ask, so I wouldn’t have to.” David told him.

His brown eyes flew open and locked on David. He turned his head toward him. “Really?”

David nodded. Pressed his lips together. “Really,” He whispered.

“For how long?” Patrick asked. Needing details. Data. Something tangible to cling to.

“Few weeks? Maybe? Probably more cemented when we were at your parents’ house last weekend.” David told him. His hand still rubbing Patrick’s chest.

Patrick’s lips pressed together. The corners of his mouth pulled back and down. Happy with the answer he received. He rotated toward him. His fingers touching David’s cheek. “So, why are you up? Why are you worried?”

“I’m not worried,” David told him.

“Why are you up? If you’re not worried?” Patrick asked him.

“Because today is the day I became engaged.” David’s voice was high and soft. All defenses down. He shook his head. His eyes rolled back with embarrassment.

Patrick blinked quickly. Looked at him. Had no clue what he meant. “But… if you’re happy…”

“If I go to sleep, it won’t be today anymore, Patrick. Today is … it’s the day… the day that…” David shook his head, again. Blinked quickly. He felt silly saying it out loud.

“I hate to tell you, but it’s already tomorrow,” Patrick said. “Whether you get sleep or not, the date changes. And it’s tomorrow already.”

“I know that. You think I don’t know that?” David was frustrated that Patrick didn’t understand.

Patrick wanted to support him. But truly he didn’t know what to say. “David. I don’t… Can you explain it another way?”

“Today? It was a good day. Seriously, my mood tracker? Highest points ever. You should see it.” David pointed with his thumb over his shoulder toward the desk.

“Do you want me to look at it… or…?” Patrick shrugged.

David pushed his shoulder gently, “No. God. Don’t be obtuse. You can’t look in my journal. You know that.”

Patrick grinned at him.

“I’m saying, it was the best day, Patrick. You gave me the best day. The day I became… _engaged_. Engaged. And if I go to sleep, then I wake up, it won’t be that day any longer. It will be… some other day. Just a normal, fucking day.”

“The first day of our engagement,” Patrick told him.

David shut his eyes and sort of shrugged his shoulder.

“The day you can tell people,” Patrick told him.

David opened his eyes and looked at him.

“The day you can start planning our…”

David interrupted him, “Oh, I’ve already begun the planning.”

Patrick chuckled.

“It’s the first full day of the rest of our lives together,” Patrick told him.

“How do you do that?” David asked him. His hand running up and down Patrick’s arm.

“Do what?”

“Always see the glass as half full?” David asked him.

Patrick leaned forward and brushed his lips against David’s. He shook his head.

“Our glass is not half full, David. It’s overflowing,” Patrick told him. “Our cup runneth over.”

David pulled him close. Pressed his lips to Patrick’s. “I love you, Patrick Brewer.”

Patrick smiled into the kiss. “So, that’s a yes on getting engaged?”

“Easiest decision of my life,” David told him with a toothy grin.

Patrick moved then. Moved over him. Pressed David back onto his pillow and he began to kiss him. Their lips joining. Gently. Sweetly.

“Lie down on me? Help me get to sleep?” David asked him.

Patrick rested partially on him. Partially on the mattress. Half covering David. His arm and leg draped over him.  
  
David pulled the covers up over them and worked to relax as the pressure of Patrick’s body helped his mind settle.

He took a deep breath and let it out in a long exhalation.

Patrick felt it under his ear. Heard David’s heart beating rhythmically.

Knowing he was content. Frankly discussing it. It helped sooth that one part of Patrick’s mind that had wondered.

Patrick thought about what they’d done that night. He was thrilled as he thought about how all of the discussion after sex had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that David didn’t use a condom. It was all about their engagement. Their future.

He hoped they were past the whole condom issue. Past the trust issue. Boldly walking, arms wide open, into their future.

Patrick’s hand smoothed down David’s side. Over his hip. His warm, strong hand cupped David’s crotch. Squeezed him and massaged him through his thin pajama pants.

David shut his eyes and began to relax. Saying it all out loud, telling Patrick what he was thinking, had helped David.

Of course, Patrick would find way to spin it to make it all OK. That was what Patrick did. Since the day he met Patrick. Patrick could always pull David out of the dark places where his mind took him. That was kind of why David loved him.

Well… that… and the way his organized mind kept track of all the business details.

Well… that… and the way he sang.

Well, that… and the way he was touching him.

At 3 am.

On this, the day of their engagement.

No.

On this… the first day after their engagement.

_…. fiancé._

+++

End Part 2 of 2

+++


End file.
